#now onto the shitty stuff because i woke up during the surgery TWICE and after the second time they didn't bother give me something to numb
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#anaesthetic does wonders for my skin which has always been weird to me#now onto the shitty stuff because i woke up during the surgery TWICE and after the second time they didn't bother give me something to numb#-the pain because it was nearly over?#and they did procedures on me. 1 - grab samples to see how far the cancer has spread and then#2 - cut out said cancer based off the results#because the last 2 operations they didn't cut it all out#but the real kicker here is they didn't wait for results and operated anyway#and therefore they potentially didn't get it all again and i'll need surgery again and today was a waste#anyway i started crying on the surgery table and couldn't stop and i was so fucking angry and tired#how have i been fucked over and over again like this like what the actual fuck is happening#it's like there's no communication or plenty of miscommunication#not just between me but the doctors too#the last few months have been so surreal like i feel like it's all a dream and can be undone because wtf. I don't feel human
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