#now i just need to figure out kallamar all over again and then I can do far more tpotc stuff

[the-one-with-spider-brainrot]

oops

[genolover]

So I read @aughtpunk 's cotl forgiveness au in like 2 days and now I'm hyperfocusing on it. I just keep thinking of cute little things. Particularly between Shaun and kallamar. Aughtpunk probably shouldn't read this.

Like they have regular are-we-still-engaged chess matches. The first time kallamar wins, they regretfully tell the others the engagement is off. Most everyone is like, you were engaged?? How?? Since when?????? The next day they're engaged again. It great and not at all confusing. Pretty soon no one is sure if the engagement is even real or not. Don't ask kallamar, he's not 100% sure either. Like they play games to see who's responsible for the flowers or menu decisions but is it real? Half the group is sure it isn't until it's the night before the wedding and Holy shit this is actually happening wtf and Shaun is just so disappointed in them. Kallamar is too, right my love? Kallamar is like, yeah, I can't believe they doubted the seriousness of this situation. Internally he's screaming. Shaun also didn't think it was that serious but over time he got sick of people shit talking kallamar to his face so he was like, now I gotta marry him in the biggest most amazing wedding ever. I just gotta.

I also just like the idea that they would use games to settle most disagreements. They watch eachothers strategies and moods to figure out how serious they need to be. If it's a lighthearted thing then they joke the whole time and whoever wins, wins. Gg. If it's something more important to one than the other then they give a good game but let that person win since clearly this is a significant matter. If it's an important matter to both, they use the game as something of a distraction. I can't kill you for not understanding exactly where I'm coming from by magically reading my mind if I'm too busy trying to figure out if the move you just made is even legal. By the end of the match, whomever wins, it comes out as more of a compromise.

They do have this problem where if they don't have a clear goal for a game, it can escalate into terrible ends. Like Shaun makes a flirty double entendre about calamari, kallamar says something gross about cannibalism, suddenly its 3 am, they're in the kitchen with heket who is waaaay too happy about cooking some of her brother's flesh with the intention of giving it to his ex-fiancee to eat (shaun being grossed out by cannibalism made him lose), and questioning all of their life choices.

Oh and after wedding thought. Shaun asks narinder for a life flower (that what I've been calling them in my head). Narinder is grossed out but Shaun gives this whole speech about how they aren't gonna use it now, he just wants to show kallamar that he did notice that he wasnt sure how serious he was about the wedding but he is very serious about wanting to have this life together with him and growing their family together. Narinder does reluctantly give him a flower. Little while later kallamar asks for the same thing. His explanation is a little more based in logic. They've talked about children before and he's probably gonna be the one carrying them so it just makes sense for him to have the flower. Everyone is like aww they're gonna present these flowers to eachother and it's gonna be cute or something. Meanwhile kallamar is confirming that he and his husband aren't needed for anything else tonight and maybe the flower might work if brewed into a tea but eh it's better to not chance it and just. Fucking. Eats it. Right there. Infront of God (poor jake) and everybody. Did his husband see that? No, of course not. That would prevent any miscommunication drama. It's like, dude, did you guys plan on that or...? And kallamar is like, we've had some of the most important discussions about this already, I fail to see why we can't start trying now. And then he leaves to go spend his wedding with Shaun in private and now the whole family has no idea what to do with themselves. They did not need this information.

I also have thoughts for their kids. First set is twins. They are cute. They look like normal lambs just tinted blue. At first. They actually have tendrils they hide amongst their wool. They're also good at team hunting. If you see the both of them, it's safe. If you only see one, it's a distraction, turn around, you are being ambushed.

These are just fun little thoughts I had. Feel free to ignore me.

[karmarox]

Kallamar the Coward, Pt 2: Famine and Pestilence

Expanding on my previous Kallamar headcanon, I wanted to go more in depth on these two, particularly because of how often I see fanon treat their relationship as kind of one note (IE "Heket is the strong girlboss and Kallamar is the wimp so lets see her push him around and bully him cuz it's funny har har har").

It's easy to presume that after the sealing of The One Who Waits and the Bishops' injuries, Heket took over as "leader" of the Old Faith, being the one to take charge in meetings and sermons, speaking first despite her injuries, commanding the others, and being especially mindful and doting of Shamura and concerned over their mental state.

Heket isn't particularly strong. She's only a bit stronger than Leshy. In fact, by the time you reach her, it's pretty easy for your Cult to have grown enough that she's practically a pushover compared to how limited you are when you only have Darkwood and the starting Cult facilities available to you.

The second youngest ended up being promoted to a parental figure, due to the eldest being in no state to lead, and the second eldest having evidently broken down from the stress and nobody acknowledging he had his own trauma despite how "light" his injuries were compared to everyone else.

I think Heket's view of her elder brother would have definitely been damaged after she was forced to step up due to his failings. But even then... I think she does care about him. Unlike how instantly ready Narinder and even Shamura are to criticize Kallamar, and unlike how the common fanon portrayal is ready to have all of the bishops tear Kallamar apart for the sake of the joke of him being a flat character, Heket never directly insults him. At most she's pushy and commanding and hard on him.

I'd like to think she wants him to help again. To get out of whatever funk he's in and be the responsible one that took care of her and Leshy and Shamura at the start. So she pushes, tries to get him to take charge. She knows her own weakness even if she won't admit it. She wants, needs him to be the Bishop she knows he can be, knows he used to be. Even in his cowardice and unwillingness to move she still has him as the second in command and wants him to work together with her to manage the Old Faith and, once the game happens, deal with the Lamb.

But dealing with trauma isn't as easy as just giving the victim a "push" to try to make them get over it. Heket is tragically unaware that if anything, her trying to force Kallamar out of his comfort zone might actually be making things worse, making him recede deeper and deeper into his anxieties, failures, and resentment.

Just look at how doting Heket always is towards Shamura. Even after all that's happened (even after everything was Shamura's fault it was their fault all their fault everyone is like this now), Heket looks up to Shamura the most, follows along everything they say, tries to do what she thinks will make Shamura proud. Even when Shamura hasn't even tried to hide that Narinder the traitor is and always will be their favorite!! How could Heket still care about Shamura? How come she's never showed any of that concern for him? Why does he have to be strong and tough it out all the time just because he's the elder and "only" lost his ears?

Kallamar resents Shamura, potentially even sincerely hates them because of everything. But Heket? Heket hurt Kallamar in a way she doesn't even realize. Really, they hurt each other. Not to the extent Narinder did to all of them, but unlike what Narinder did, these wounds are invisible.

It's tragic what brother and sister have been left to. Heket would never openly call Kallamar a coward or failure like the others, but she's clearly disappointed in her senior falling apart when everyone needed him most. Kallamar cares enough to still be by her side whenever she asks, but resents her for always pushing him around, and for the favoritism she shows towards Shamura despite all that he's done never openly being acknowledged. On the one hand, he's ready to criticize her leadership abilities behind her back (such as when chatting with the Lamb). On the other, once his little sister is dead (SHAMURA'S FAULT ALL THEIR FAULT AGAIN) he's immediately ready to disown and sell out Shamura. Some might say it's all to save his own skin because he knows he's next, but what if it's also because without his little siblings he doesn't have any reason to serve the Old Faith anymore?

But maybe... now that their responsibilities are gone, things can get better. Who knows, maybe one day they'll actually be able to communicate. Kallamar still holds a lot of resentment, and Heket is definitely not acclimating to the Cult well and seems to have just become a bitter, angry person to everyone around her now that she's been reduced to a mortal, but now that he's much more like his past self, I can see him trying to dote on his little siblings again. His relationship with Shamura and Narinder are probably damaged beyond ever even considering repair, but Heket? She'll always be the little frog he had to take care of while Shamura was busy playing favorites.

[angstandhappiness]

BAH HAH

oops