#now i have to pretend i cant read your mind' or something and that came to mind when i thought about shaw and the machine
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halforcdad · 2 years ago
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I watched POI when it already finished airing so whenever I see someone said they watched it when it was still airing I went
Oh honey
Oh dear
Oh sweetie
You watched it live?? You watched 5x10 live?? Not knowing whats going to happen??? *Give you a hug*
I already know what was coming and still that episode left me heart broken just shattered emotionally (which is to say, also, that good writing can still make an impact even when the audience knows what's going to happen so take notes Marvel)
On another note, the 4x11 self-sacrifice lives in my head rent-free. "If you die die for something that you love" and "i'm a sociopath i dont have feelings" then she goes and kisses Root and saves them all I am on the floor bawling
the funny part is i saw bts photos from the finale that showed root and reese together and i naively thought, 'ok cool they still might die, but at least they survive until the end' and the writers really said Lol. but considering the type of show it was (and what happened to carter) and how dire things were going in s4-s5 i kinda prepared for character deaths leading up to the season. it left me numb and sad for a while, but i dont remember being extremely devastated about it. all the stuff we got with shaw dealing with it afterwards, however, that shit hurt bad. and unfortunately i love angst a lot (the writers were very good at writing sad stuff!)
my main complaint is that the death was so sudden and kinda anticlimatic (but i guess there has to be one of those to further stress how much their backs were against the wall). everyone else in the show gets a poetic death/sacrifice scene and in carter's case, at least she was killed by a significant villain in her arc and we're allowed to really feel the pain and consequences of her death, root gets taken out by a guy who started the job like two weeks ago and no time to mourn bc we're in a war Lol (and they had to rub salt in the wounds by showing us her for-sure dead body and telling us samaritan dug it up to get her implant, which while realistic, was brutal).
i feel like a lot of people talk about it as one of the worst writing decisions, but i can see why they chose to keep root's fate the same. yes, it sucked to losing a wlw character (especially when that was so close to clexa, if im not getting my times wrong), but i don't believe lgbt media should only be happy, soft stuff and that lgbt characters should be plot armor protected always. i still found a lot of meaning and emotion in the ending we got with shaw carrying on the work her team left behind with the machine and having some small piece of root to hold on to (and shaw being the only one next to fusco who never really had a lot of direct contact with the machine, getting the chance now to work closely with it and understand root more maybe that way). the show was always dealing with death/loss and grief and emphasizing how people still leave significant legacies behind and stay with us even if it's just the influence and impact they left on their surviving loved ones. i would still prefer if it had ended differently, but at least I could understand the message they were going for.
ill never stop loving 4x11 it's genuinely one of my favorite tv episodes ever. poi was very good at normalising shaw's apd and everything they did with shaw and especially what they did in the aftermath of that episode ripped me to shreds (her telling simulation root that she was her safe place and then telling real root she'd rather die than get them all killed, that made me totally normal). shaw getting the big emotional, meaningful moments in 4x11 (in the machine's simulation when she shows root one last act of kindness with 'maybe someday', the subway scene with the bomber, and of course the ending scene) was so important and well done. and root's slow-moed reactions at the end were gut-wrenching i must have rewatched that scene maybe 1000 times.
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gamblersdoll · 5 months ago
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nsfw, cnc mention, rough sex, spit, spanking, degrading, deku using blackwhip, manipulation. lmk if i didnt tag it. attempted kidnapping, stalker themes implied.
an: its been edited for more… fantasy.
the city was clear skied at night, civilly looking and dressed by the way. no villains were out, crime was semi dying downing and only left to maybe crimes that occurred twice a month. even then, it wasnt like it was eliminated.
maybe the universe was trying to give you and izuku, the number two pro here, after todoroki, a chance at happiness. maybe a saving grace, it could be. it only started after you and izukus marriage, it was a good thing. the media went crazy about you and izuku marrying , screaming how it wasnt meant to be.
thats the only reason it brought izukus rating down, because of a damn relationship. it wasn’t supposed to be you and izuku, it was just supposed to be ochako and izuku. yet, izuku always assured you that you were his true love.
and maybe that saving grace after the marriage was short lived, since crime spiked back up, immediately too.
and it was one that was very, destructive. which only meant a specific person that unfortunately fell into the hands of crime when he was attempting to be a hero.
dynamight.
izuku often did search for him, attempting to find his childhood best friend who desperately wanted to be a hero. but would always come up empty handed..
this time was different.
“izuku!” you screamed, keeping the door open and just staring at the horrifying box in front of you. he comes stumbling down the stairs, hand on your hip and bug eyed at the box.
someone has it out for you, bad. and they have your address, presumably pretending to be usps. or it was someone who worked at the delivery company, sending you body parts for and as an act of love.
it didnt make sense to you.
“are you going to be okay when im gone, love?” izuku says, tightening up his hero boots and looking to you. you nod, feeling his hand caressing your cheek and kissing your lips. “good. i love you.”
“i love you.” you say back, watching him depart from you in a instant. he had to go to the americas for a mission, supposedly. there was a big problem over there and they needed as many heroes as possible.
thats what heroes do, right?
thats what you at least remind yourself, since you were on active leave because of a big mission you did. you were forced to take a break, since your arm and shoulder were damaged. you were only discharged a couple months ago—
“grab the girl!” a rando shouted, a hand over your mouth and a knife to your throat. you were fucked, dropping your phone in a scramble and you damn sure couldnt use your fucking quirk. “what a lucky day! just my damn luck–!”
and you heard him gargle, was he that fucked in his mind he had gone rabid? his hands drop, his heavy weight pushing into you and you.. move away? you look to see what had happened, only to see his head had became scrambled.
you feel a cold sweat, your stomach churning and it feels like you could vomit. sure, youre a pro now— that doesnt mean you cant feel a little sick from the gore of the scene. you look to the wall, reading it.
‘youre welcome.’
someone had saved you? it was that quick? you look around the area, top and bottom. there wasnt a gunman, nor was there any traces. you scramble to find your device, calling izuku.
please, pick the fuck up.
“baby?” he asks, sounding concern.
“i almost got kidnapped—“ you start, but you think that izuku would freak out. but.. hes more calm. “but, the weirdest shit happened, the perp just.. died behind me! his head.. its like halfway gone, and i guess whoever the ‘hero’ of the night is, basically said i was fucken welcomed.”
“youre okay though, right?” izuku asks. no, youre not fucking okay, you just almost got abducted and someone blew someones head off behind you! you grunt a response, “okay, get home safe, okay bunny?”
yeah, right.
yet, something felt.. off about him when he came back. he said he would be back by the twentieth of july, and it was the fucking first of august.
“where have you been?” you ask, worried, scared, nervous, angry, confused all hit you at the same time. it felt like hell, you didn’t want to be that insecure wife that questioned her husband each day.
“something came up, im sorry baby.” he apologized, coming over to hold you and kiss your cheek. “you have nothing to worry about, sweetheart.”
“i..” you try and start, but the words just got stuck into your throat.
“you?” izuku tries to help, but it looks like he didnt want to hear it. feigning confusion and worry on his face, not like you could tell.
you were too in love and worried to even pay attention.
“i.. i forgive you.” you say, shaking those negative feelings and thoughts away from your body. it was good that you did that, you never did well with it.
good, according to plan.
you both went to sleep peacefully that night, you did at least…
until you didnt, you were a light sleeper. and of course, you heard something. something wasnt right, no, it was too hot. izuku mustve changed the temperature in the house.
your feet move , still groggy and looking at the thermostat.
seventy-nine degrees?! did he want both of you to fucking boil!? you curse under your breath, changing it back to the original temperature, at least sixty degrees. yet, something still didnt feel right—
creak!
you think its izuku, so you go back upstairs. that boy was still asleep—
creeakk!
someone or something was in the house, and you shake him. “izuku, somethings in the house.” you silent shout, knowing he wasnt that heavy of a sleeper. was he really that tired to where he wouldnt wake to do a check in the house?
fine, be that fucking way, deku.
you go on your own, and you tiptoe in your own fucking house.. how comical. but there is a lingering smell, it wasnt a familiar smell.
or at least, not yours or izukus.
you check each room, there wasnt anything.. and then back downstairs. maybe you were paranoid—
no, the fuck you werent. or maybe you just see a big ass shadow man sitting in the corner of the living room. you stop in your tracks, you have to be making eye contact with this.. thing.
he clears his throat, tapping his foot, and goes to stand up–
“midori—mff!” you try to shout for him, but a hand comes around your mouth and you can smell it, chloroform.
you wake up finally, groggy and trying to remember what had happened, but you see him, bakugou. you remember his suit, his hair, those mean, red eyes that you had first fallen in love with.
“nothin’ to say?” he starts, pulling his hands out of his gloves and crouching in front of you. “welcome home, beauts.”
“zuku!” you try, but bakugou just laughs.
“he’s probably still asleep, he was always a heavy sleeper.” bakugou started again, “izuku?” he mocks, looking around and back to you. “still asleep.”
“you—“
“yeah yeah, im a villain, this that ‘n the third.” he mumbles, kissing your cheek then getting close to your ear. “but i saved you, didnt i?” he whispers, “youre welcome.”
and it clicks, he was the one that blew the guys’ brains out.
you hear a door open, and a tuff of green hair. izuku walks in, standing in the doorway and dynamight just looks at him. “izuku! please..” you say, knowing he would save you.
“oh, hey kacchan.” he simply says, walking over and dapping him up. it confused the fuck out of you, and he just looks at you like there isnt a fucking villain in front of you. “hi, baby.”
“midoriya, what the fuck are you doing?!” you shout, “do you not see him?” you question, feeling bakugou get behind you and release you.
“oh, i do.” he replies, kissing your cheek and releasing blackwhip to restrain you. “guess we should talk about it.”
talk about what?! that he allowed a villain inside?
you glare at him, and katsuki laughs. “oh, thats a mean ass look. could make me fold in a minute.”
“izuku.” you repeat, staring at him. “did.. you plan this?” you ask, hoping and praying to whatever god there was that you were wrong, like this was a bad dream and you were stuck.
“yeah, ive been wanting to tell you that.” he starts, seeing how your heart drops to your ass. “before you get all worried, its also technically your fault.”
now how in the mother fuck.
“how?” you ask, growing paranoid, angry, scared.
“did you not realize that the usps label was slightly ripped?” he asks, showing the box with the finger and the tongue inside of it. it makes you gag, and katsuki shushes you in consolation. “did you not realize that the perp who wanted to ‘kidnap’ you was our priest from our wedding?”
thinking back on it now.. maybe it was. no, it was our priest.
“but.. why kill the pre—??”
“he knew what was going on, and was trying to save you. as if you needed to be saved.” katsuki interrupted, brushing your hair back.
“and to be honest, all three of us were technically married. it was meant to be.” katsuki adds, showing the marriage license.
the three were.. married? meant to be?
riiipp!
you feel your sleep shorts be ripped off, looking to izuku for some sort of reasoning. he gets closer, kissing your lips and then looking back to katsuki. “be careful with her, you havent fucked her, ever.” he says, tightening blackwhip and smiling. “he’s going to be gentle this time, okay?”
you feel warmth around your slit, moaning out and you hate how you sound, the fact this was even arousing pissed you off.
why was it arousing?
“fuck, shes so sweet..” katsuki groans, licking at your clit and suckling. his heavy cock gets heavier, pulling you close and slipping into your walls.
“zuku!—“
“wrong name, baby.” katsuki rasps, pulling your hips back and thrusting into you. “ha..haaah!” he pants out, tongue lolled out and drooling onto your ass. “oh, ive wanted this, ive wanted thiss!”
“its okay, bunny, see how hes being so sweet with you?” izuku speaks, kissing you cheek. he looks at your crossed eyes, fists balled up and he rubs your knuckles.
this feels wrong, but it doesnt feel so bad.
or was it you being corrupted that manipulated you into thinking that?
it was definitely the corruption of your walls that shot to your mind, your ass burned from the constant slam of his hips into them. “fuck, wanted you since the day i saw you!” he growls, spitting onto your back and wrapping a arm around your neck.
and this fucker izuku just watches.
“going to make you mine, mine!” katsuki says, feeling your corrupt walls squeezes around him in ecstasy, which causes him to break you. he slaps your ass, digging his nails into the tender flesh as he holds onto you for support. “gunna’ cum in you, fuck ive wanted this so bad!”
it makes izuku hard.. really.
“wanted to watch you slut yourself out to deku.. wanted to watch you get cock drunk of’fa me!” he babbles, turns out he was getting pussy drunk off of you. he licks up your back, biting into your shoulder and whispers into you. “do you feel it? do you feel how much of a slut you are? huuhh?”
he whines his hips slow, laughing all mean and slapping your backend again. “oh, god, youre so much sexier in person!” he says, eyes dilating and he licks his canines. “fuck, just like that, going to fuckin cum!—“
he creams inside of you, feeling his seed spilling out of your walls. izuku only chuckles, lifting your head up to see your eyes.
your eyes were low and heavy, you had been in and out of consciousness. “see? we can all be a big happy married couple.”
“aand, cut!” the director says, katsuki just laughs and picks you up, blackwhip releasing you.
“you okay, mama?” he asks, squishing your cheeks and looking at your eyes. “shit, grab her water, idiot!” katsuki yells to the backstage, them rushing to the fridge.
“sugar, you okay?” izuku asks, tapping each part of your skin to bring your back down to earth. you nod, both men sighing in relief as katsuki helps you drink the cold water. “we didnt go to hard, did we?”
“mm, mm..” you respond, lazily looking up to them. “did me dirty though, having me in damn near eighty degree house.”
katsuki boisterously laughs, “that was my fault, forgot to turn it down, mama.” he says in a kiss.
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beefboyandbabygirl · 1 year ago
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this is my first (1st!!) ever request so im sorry if im not clear or if anything is too vague.. </3 just had a thought about virgin!svt member (any one of your choice) x experienced but shy reader?? like they usually tease each other like crazy and reader is kind of cocky and all bratty (basically all talk) but when it comes to actual sex they're unexpectedly crazy shy and the member just 😞😞 cant get enough... im just curious about how you'd write the dynamic :) it can be vice versa as well! feel free to write about whoever comes to mind when you read this!
- anon 🐱❤️
oh my gooood im so honored to be ur first request hihi <3 i hope u like it!!
Show me how
⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰
pairing: seungkwan x fem!reader
genre: smut, first time, fluffish
warnings: unprotected sex, handjob, mentions of oral, kissing, mentions of making out, veryyyy slight degredation, mentions of restraint, mentions of masturbation
beefboy quotes: "kitten wants seungkwans cock🤧" (im sorry for including this but it made me laugh) "IM WET".
wordcount: 1k
a/n: phew this was a difficult one. im practising writing more detailed smut and do a little less plot lmao. beefboy says its working so im going to trust i did okay haha.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know why this is happening right now.” 
What you had told Seungkwan was true. You were fairly experienced when it came to sex. However, experienced didn’t exactly equate to confident, even though you might have given him that idea. And it wasn’t on purpose. It wasn’t like you had tried to fool him, or pretend you were something you weren’t. All the dirty secrets whispered to make him blush, the not-so-accidental brushes of your ass over his crotch or fingers over his chest, were done out of pure love and adoration. You liked to tease him, and he absolutely loved when you teased him. 
You just wanted his first time to be special, and now you were afraid it was all ruined. 
“No, why are you apologizing? You’re doing great.”
He was laid out beneath you, already all sweaty and glowy from the heavy makeout session that had prompted the current situation. A large hand gently came in touch with one of the thighs straddling his torso, silently saying it’s okay, we’re okay. And his pupils were all blown out, and the room was dimly lit and humid. It was beautiful and perfect. He was perfect, and you were ruining it. 
It all felt completely upside down to you. That he was giving the reassuring words and the calming touches when he was supposed to be the nervous one. He didn’t look nervous at all. He sported that confident smile, the inquiring tilt of his head and he was shirtless underneath your bare thighs. 
“I just feel like I've let you down. Like I made you expect all these things for tonight, that I was supposed to be all dominating, and sexy and what not-”
“Babe, you’re literally so fucking sexy.” 
“Oh yeah, suddenly having a mental breakdown in the middle of your boyfriend's first time. So sexy of me.”
Without replying he grabbed you by the hips, giving them a gentle squeeze and locking eyes with you for permission. Your ‘yes’ was barely a whisper. Slowly, he shuffled you further down his body, so you were positioned over his cock. His hard cock. Really hard and also, really big. Not that you were surprised. 
“You feel that?” 
None of you were even moving, not even the slightest, and yet sparks of pleasure were rushing through you. He could probably feel the wetness soaking through your panties and onto the fabric covering his hard dick, but for the first time that night, you didn’t care. You didn’t care that you were nervous, you didn’t feel like you had a single expectation to live up to or promise to fulfill. He was hard, and you had barely done anything, which made you both incredibly relieved and wet. 
“M-mhm…”
When he noticed how your shoulders suddenly dropped and your jaw unclenched, he too felt all his muscles loosen up and a held back sigh escaped him. 
“You did that baby, made me so hard. Because you’re so sexy, and beautiful and hot-”
“Okay okay, I get it.” Your attempt at shutting him up was to lean down for a kiss, but he just continued to ramble and mumble onto your lips, and you realized you shouldn’t keep him waiting much longer. 
“Can I take these off?” You asked, your voice quiet as it spilled onto his lips while your fingers hooked onto the waistband of his boxers. 
“Yes, f-fuck, please.”
Before you could even have the chance though, he was ripping them off himself, so you instead took the opportunity to take your panties off, leaving you both fully naked.
“How- How do you want me?”
His question barely registered with you as his dick entered your line of sight. You had seen each other naked a few times, sure, but only for short moments while changing clothes or walking in on the other showering. Now his dick was so up close you could see every vein, every drop of precum leaking down his shaft, and you hadn’t even noticed you were practically laying on your stomach, crosseyed and nearly drooling at the sight. 
“Don’t look at it like that.” 
His voice snapped you out of your cockdrunk trance and you somehow managed to tear your eyes away from his cock. 
“I’m just admiring it.”
“Yeah, I can tell, but please don’t look at it like that for much longer, or I’ll actually cum untouched.”
You giggled lowly before crawling further up his body again. Your noses were touching and his heavy breaths tickled your lips as your hand dragged over his nipples, down his abs until it reached his cock. 
“That’d be so hot”, you whispered. Your boyfriend let out a breathy whimper in return, one you so badly wanted to hear again, so you wrapped your fingers tightly around his cock, squeezing until he was throbbing so hard you could have been convinced it was his heartbeat going straight into his dick. 
“You like the sound of that? I could touch myself in front of you, have you tied to the bed so you can’t touch me yourself, see how long you’ll last…”
He was already close. Embarrassingly close, but what was he supposed to do? For weeks before you asked him out he would simply think of something gross, like Vernons three week old laundry or the floor in the subway, whenever he accidentally popped a boner around you. But now, that was actually impossible. He couldn’t think, couldn’t see, couldn’t feel anything but you everywhere, in every corner of his mind. 
“Please, I’m so close…” The way your hand alternated between squeezing him at the base and going up and down in a fast motion, was making him dizzy. 
“I know, I know. You’ll get what you want”, your hand let go of his cock, as you resumed your position from a few moments ago, straddling him, but now with no layers of fabric between you. Your pussy radiated actual heat, and occasionally a drop of your wetness would fall onto his abs and trickle down towards his v-line, and if he didn’t get your pussy around him now he would probably faint. 
“Remind me what it is you want again?” 
This wasn’t your usual teasing. Even though your words were bratty as always, they were now laced with something different, something loving. You were smiling adoringly and your eyes were sparkling, and even though you were being so cruel, you were still so doting. 
“I Want…Want your pussy. Need it.”
You rewarded his answer with a quick kiss, before lining your entrance up with his cock and sinking down slowly. Seungkwans facial expression twisted into one of pleasure and he was muttering profanities into the air. 
“Feel okay?”
He felt more than okay. He had never felt better, but if you began to move even a single inch, he would cum, and he didn’t wanna be that guy. 
“Yeah- Yeah I’m fine just, fuck, give me a second…”
“Hm? But I thought this was what you wanted?”
Seungkwan knew you weren’t actually denying his request. You weren’t moving, and you wouldn’t unless he wanted you to. You were testing him. You had a goal, and once you went for something, there was no way Seungkwan could convince you otherwise. 
“I do! I do, I just don’t wanna-”
“But I do.” 
Your hips began to swivel back and forth on top of him. The subtle movement would have been barely noticeable had he not been so sensitive. 
“You can cum Seungkwan, it’s okay. I want it.”
When he didn’t argue further, when he looked at you with pleading eyes, you kept going, escalating the speed of your hips more and more, until your boyfriend was a wonderful mess underneath you, writhing and moaning desperately. 
“Cum for me, Seungkwan.”
Your words were the last tug pulling at the knot in his stomach. He was releasing inside of you, coating your walls in white and tensing every muscle in his body. It was only after the fact he got to see it, his eyes struggling to open from how tight they were shut, and once they landed on his cum dripping down your plush thighs onto his stomach it was as if the high just kept running through him. 
“Should I- Can I try to eat you out? Can you show me how?”
You hadn’t had expectations of cumming tonight. This was about him. That being said, you were hardly surprised that he wanted to return the favor, selfless as always.  
Your mind wandered to just a few moments ago, when you were so worried about ruining this moment. About making him uncomfortable, or doing something wrong, or not living up to his expectations. Now you were realizing that this hadn’t been about expectations at all. It had been about trust. Seungkwan trusted you enough to be his first. To show him how. 
And there was nothing more sexy than being trusted.
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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 months ago
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future friends 1/2
james 'logan' howlett
+++++++++
part two
shes not edited so sorry in advance lol
im mad i cant write whump for this man so have some angst instead. because if we cant help heal outside wounds maybe we can help heal inside wounds
song: i lie to me by as it is
+++++++++
i sat across from rogue as we ate our lunch, quietly munching to myself. neither of us had spoken yet but she knew i always needed a minute when getting together with someone. it was the nature of my powers. i could see everyone's past just from being near them and though hers wasnt as hard to watch as some others she understood it was exhausting. she made that mistake once, touching me to experience it for just a moment. she ended up crying hysterically and i felt so bad because i couldnt even hug her to console her.
"Hey have you gotten a chance to talk to Logan yet?"
I raised a brow as I looked over at her, her pulling me out of my thoughts.
"You know the professor told me not to."
She nodded a few times, popping a grape into her mouth.
"And why are we still listening?"
She questioned and I laughed, wiping my mouth on my napkin.
"He said that I need to keep my distance until he finds his place here. You know we aren't supposed to use our powers on each other."
She looked at me with a stupid look on her face.
"Is it really using your power on him if you can't help it?"
I shrugged my shoulders.
"I've already read him. Every time he gets close actually. Every class I have with him. His life flashes before my eyes and I have to pretend I don't know everything about him."
She frowned and ate another grape.
"Logan deserves to know about his past. And you're the only one that can give that to him now that jean and the professor are dead."
I sighed and looked down at my half eaten sandwich. all i would have to do is touch him, then i could show him too.
"I guess I'll talk to storm about it. See if she has anything to say. She's the dean now after all."
she sent me another disapproving look before bobby came in and sat with us. i frowned, reading him quickly, before going back to my sandwich.
°°°°°°°°°
I knocked slowly on her office door, the wood creaking slowly. I could hear storm talking quietly to someone and suddenly my mind was flooded with his life again. His childhood, scraping his knee falling off his bike and it healing slowly. He freaked out but got up and kept riding. He never told his parents. Then his wife came into view, their wedding, her death. Then came him volunteering for strikers project. I could feel the ache in my chest as I felt all his pain. The cold rushing through my veins as he streaked butt naked through the Canadian wilderness trying to escape.
"Come in."
Shook me of my thoughts and I pushed the door open, seeing ororo and Logan talking. He was sat against her desk, legs crossed and cigar in his mouth. I panned the room to her standing in front of the TV, remote in hand. I could hear the electricity like she had just turned it off.
"Y/n, what a pleasant surprise."
I swallowed hard and looked from her to him. He had his brows drawn and I could tell he was trying to place me. Even in the two classes I had with him I was easy to ignore. I kept quiet. Answered questions when prompted. But ultimately stayed out of sight.
"storm I was wondering if I could ask you something but it's a private matter so I might come back."
I tried to suppress her time line, blinking away the hot African sun of her childhood.
"No need. I was just going."
Logan said sternly, pushing himself off the desk.
"We'll talk about this later."
She directed at him and he gave a tight lip smile, closing the door behind him. She looked back at me, placing the TV remote on the end table to her left.
"I have a feeling I know what this is about."
I cleared my throat and took a deep breath.
"I don't want to disobey professor Xavier -"
She held her hand up.
"You can't tell him."
I watched her, defeated as she paced to the desk.
"He deserves to know. Something. Anything. That he was married, he volunteered for experiment x, anything from his childhood."
She shook her head as she sat down.
"You know why that's a bad idea. We've already been over this after the fight at alkali lake."
I sighed and slumped down into the chair across from her.
"His time line is so intense storm. I can ignore most people's but they aren't as long or traumatizing as his. He's two, three, times as old as everyone here. Except myself."
A sad expression fell over her face as she folded her hands on the desk.
"He knows what happened with striker. We need to leave it at that. Until he finds something else out naturally."
I clenched my jaw and stood up.
"I can't keep hiding the truth from him ororo. And eventually he'll realize that I don't age either which will raise questions about my mutation. Then what am I supposed to say?"
She inhaled deeply.
"Y/n you are older than even the professor. You are the one that denied the position to teach-"
"Because I look like any other student!"
I interjected and she looked at me sternly.
"But if you are going to act like a child then you are going to be treated like one."
I scoffed and headed for the door.
"If the position reopens let me know. Teachers seem to be dropping like flies around here."
I pushed the door open harshly, it slamming behind me as I walked out of the office. There was a part of me that understands but I can't believe she is against me on this. He has found his place here. And I can't keep up with this. It's so much harder to keep people's time lines out of my head when they don't know I know.
Like rogue. I told her shortly after I met her. Even though it was after she took the "cure" from the Worthington corporation. She introduced herself in the same span it took me to see her time line. Bobby was there to help explain my powers to her but I haven't had to watch her find her powers since then. Same with him. And everyone else I've talked to on this campus. just small pieces of their childhood or finding their significant other.
but logan wasn't like everyone else. he was complicated. and so was i. but now, also, i was mad. i walked quickly down the hall, passed the dining room and kitchen to the elevator. if i couldnt get his frustrations out of my brain by telling him then i might as well work them out. i hit the down button and tapped my foot as i waited. when the door opened i strode down the hall to the danger-room.
i walked in slowly, the lights turning on and the control panel popping open. i quickly selected a series of test and waited for the room to start changing. i watched as sky scrapers appeared in the distance, small shops coming into view as well. then cars and people. then i saw a plane ahead, watching in shock as it crashed down in front of me. then all these creatures started climbing off of it, pieces of the plan in their unsightly jaws as it burned under them.
i moved quickly, running forward and dodging the creatures as they came at me hissing through bloody teeth. i pulled on the torn metal, making and opening and helping some civilians out of the plane as it burned. i looked up, seeing one of the creatures charging back at me. i grabbed a piece off the top of the plane and swung myself towards it kicking it square in the face and knocking back down to the ground.
i checked to make sure that the people on the ground were helping the others out of the burning plane before turning to fight another creature as it came at me. i struck it, pushing it away from me before lunging at another one. when the rest finally realized i was there they came in waves, attacking me. i fought back as hard as i could and for once thats all i had to focus on. then one of them knocked me down. as i tried to get up another lunged on top of me, pinning me down to the roof of the plane. i grunted and and tried to keep it away from me, its teeth gnashing and slobbery in my face.
then from out of nowhere i heard a yell and the sound of metal. i looked over to see logan shoving his long claws into the side of the creature. i watched him, his past flooding through my brain as he attacked the others as they came at us. i breathed deeply, stumbling to my feet and putting my back to his. we fought together until they were all gone, going to get the few stragglers out of the plane that hadnt made it out yet.
then he moved to help me down, taking my hand in his and pausing as i hit the ground. my eyes went wide as a tear slid down his cheek. shit. i had transferred his memories without even meaning to. all i had to do was touch him. usually i had my gloves on when we went in the danger-room but i didnt put my suit on first.
"i had a wife."
he said quietly, side eying me. i held my breath, holding onto his hand still as the simulation dissipated around us.
"i had a brother."
he laughed, really looking at me now. i took my hand out of his and held them both together in front of me.
"im sorry logan, this isnt how i wanted you to find out."
he drew his brows.
"have you known this whole time?"
i could feel tears stinging as i nodded.
"thats my curse to hold."
he shook his head, looking angry before walking off.
"logan wait!"
i called after him and he held his hand up.
"kid. just dont."
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lluvllimoo · 9 months ago
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You could’ve just told me! Pt1
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Hi this is my first fic so please be nice. Also English isn’t my first language so there might be mistakes.
My inspiration is @itzsana-kiddingmenow i love her fics so much. I always wanted to write i just didn’t have the motivation but here we go.
Lee!jisung
Ler!Lee Know
This is a tickle fic if its not something you’re interested in you can scroll 🤍
Jisung was in his room, thinking again. This was actually starting to happen quite often these days. Well, what was he thinking about? Well, Jisung was in a lee mood, and he was thinking about how to tell his members that. But he could never tell the members that because he thought they would judge him for that. I mean, could you blame him? He couldn’t even say the word out loud.
This went on for days. Jisung would go to practice,come home, eat, and then go to his room, staring at the ceiling for hours. He would make up tickling stories in his mind, but that would just make his mood worse. He also tried to read fics, and just as expected, it only made it worse for the poor little Lee.
While Jisung was busy staring at the ceiling once again, he didn’t notice a member coming into his room. When he realized someone was there, it was too late to cover up his thinking face. He was zoned out, and he probably had a frown on his face. He looked up and saw what his favorite Hyung Lee know. Lee Know was staring at him with a worried look.
“Jisungie whats wrong.”
“O-oh nothing hyung.”
He hated himself for stuttering.
“Come on Jisung im not a kid i can tell you are lying.”
“Tell me whats wrong Ji.”
Lee Know came closer to Jisung and sat next to him.
With that, Jisung couldn’t hold it anymore. Tears spilled out.
Jisung hated how he was crying about something so stupid.
“No baby whats wrong please don’t cry.”
“H-hyung”
He was looking into Lee Know’s eyes, which made it harder to tell him, but it was now or never. He knew he could trust Lee Know, but telling him about this topic was just hard for Jisung.
“Jisung you can tell me anything you know i would never judge you.”
How did he know?
Lee Know grabbed jisungs face and looked into his teary eyes.
“I-i.”
Jisung sighed.
“I hate how im crying about something so stupid i cant even believe myself.”
“You now what.”
“Lets pretend this never happened and you never saw me crying”
“No”
“You are going to tell me whats wrong”
“I can clearly tell this has been bothering you.”
“And no its not stupid”
“If you just tell me whats wrong you now i can help you”
Jisung took a deep breath
“W-well”
“D-do you know what a l-l.”
“L-.”
“I cant do it”
Jisung looked down at his feet.
“A lee?”
When he heard the he immediately looked at Lee know.
“H-how do you know that?”
“Ohhh sweet little Jisungie was this what you were trying to say baby hmm?~”
“W-well yes.”
Jisung looked back at his feet because could swear his face was red as a tomato.
Lee know garbbed Jisungs face and forced him to look at him. Lee know cooed at jisungs little red face.
“Awww is my baby flustered.~”
“Does my baby need me to take care of his little lee mood hmm.~”
Jisung hit his arm in a playful manner.
“Owww that hurt”
“Oh come on hyung i didn’t even hit hard.”
“I think i need to punish you for that.”
As he said this he wiggled his eyebrows while jisungs face turned into 50 shades of red.
Lee Know didn’t waste another second and pounced on Jisung. He took off his jacket and used that to tie Jisung arms to the headboard.
“Hmmm where should i tickle my baby?”
“Do you want to help your hyung out and tell me your most ticklish spot hm?~”
As he said that a sad expression appeared on Jisungs face.
“I-i actually don’t know”
“Wait what?”
“I’ve never been tickled before.”
“I don’t even know if im ticklish or not. All i now is every time i think of tickling i just want someone to tickle me.”
“Aww my poor baby probably suffered a lot.”
“Well im here to help you now.”
With that Lee Know slowly started to tickle Jisungs belly.
“Is this belly ticklish hmm.~”
Jisung giggled at the sensation. It felt weird but so good.
“Hyuhuhng dohont tehehease”
“You want me to go rougher?”
“P-please.”
Lee Know lifted Jisungs shirt up reveal his little bellybutton.
“Aww what a cute bellybutton.”
“Will you turn into a little giggle bug for me if i tickle you right here.~”
He sticked one of his finger in Jisungs bellybutton without any warnings.
“HyuHAHAHAHANG”
“Ooooohh i think i found a good spot.”
“Im not even moving it and ur already laughing your heart out.”
“I CAHAHAHNT HEHEHEHHEHELP IHIHIHIHTT.”
He tugged at his arms but nothing happened he couldn’t move them he was stuck.
“Trying to escape?”
“I already taught of this. You cant go anywhere baby.~”
Jisung knew he was fucked. I mean not really because he was enjoying it a little too much but he would never say that out loud.
Lee Know lifted Jisungs shirt a little more to reveal his ribs
“How about we try here.”
“Actually…”
“Ji do you know how many ribs you have?”
“N-no i don’t”
Lee Know slowly put his fingers on Hannies ribs started to count them.
“Onee.”
“Phhlheheahahse”
“Twooo”
“Ugh you’re not reacting like how i want you to react”
Lee Know put his hands on the lowest rib and started to tickle Jisung like crazy.
“OMHAHAGAGAGAG HAHHAHAHHAHAHA IHIHIHIH IHIHITHTS THOHOHO MUHUHUCH”
“There we go.There is my giggle bug”
“STAGAGHAHAHAHHAP”
Even tho Jisung begged for Lee Know to stop probably about 100 times he did not listen and he just kept on going rougher and rougher. Soon Hannies laughter became silent and that was a sign for Lee Know to stop and give Jisung a little breather. Jisung was panting hard trying to inhale air as much as possible.
“Did you enjoy it baby?”
“Should we continue? I feel like i haven’t gotten the spot yet.”
“Can we stop? Im tired. Can we continue this later?”
Lee Know giggled because Hannie looked so cute so tiny. Even tho Lee Know wanted to continue he did not want to make Jisung uncomfortable so he got up and started to untie the jacket.
“Of course we can continue another day Jisungie.”
After Lee Know untied his wrist he got up and grabbed a bottle of lotion to put on Jisungs wrist. All of that tugging made Jisungs wrists a little red. After putting on the lotion he layed down next to Jisung and snuggled him.
“You know if you just told me from the start i would have tickled you ever time you wanted but you made yourself suffer.”
“We would never judge you for anything.”
“Thank you hyung.”
“I-i”
“I-i love you”
“i love you too baby.”
I tried my best. I also wrote this on the plane my mom asked me who was i texting😭 I will try to write the second part but my lazy ass will probably take long.
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ganondoodle · 1 year ago
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read about all the armor set pieces i never bothered to fin before stopping to play to make sure i wasnt missing any potential useful info and came across the thing that im guessing is the reward for the shrines given its description and i just
kinda sank back into sadness and desperation bc of how much i dont like it and im fearing they are just gonna mess it all up even further
i said it before but i have a seething hatred for how totk hurts botw in retrospect, like wow i liked the mystery of the sonau but never wanted an answer to it, i liked the mystery of who the ancient hero was bc of its strange depiction and man did i not want this kind of answer, some things not having an answer can be more interesting than having one, cant we focus on going forward instead of looking back further and further, it was fine with the shiekah but at the end of botw it felt like a relieved sigh of "ok the past is gone and done, now we can built a better future and move o-" NOPE LOL LOOK BACK EVEN FURTHER THERE WERE THE COOLEST PEOPLE EVEN FURTHER IN THE PAST OMG YOU GUYYSSS LOOKS HOW COOL THEY WERE AND ALSO FUCKED IT ALL UP LOOOOOK LOOOK
like in general i have nothing against introducing a new species/nation to zelda but the way they did the sonau is just nothing but frustrating to me, coming out of basically nowhere and suddendly being shoved into EVERYTHING, everything shiekah, basically erased bc ACTUALLY the sonau were here first lol and they were so much cooler and better in every aspect dont you DARE even THINK of any other boring old group central to the better game of the two (botw)
like i get it they are the new cool thing but they feel so much more suddendly FORCED into EVERY aspect of both lore and world and how everyone absolutely obsesses over them its like the devs were so scared of the player not being interested in them that they felt the need to make every second NPC obsessed with them just so they can constantly shove in your face how interesting they are (like i think they way this was done just made me even less interested/more annoyed, sorry, their design is neat yeah but i really dont care, you failed to make me care and TELLING me to care wont change that), the ancient shiekah felt so much better integrated as a natural part of the world without being annoying about it and i just ....
i worry about whats to come, both for possible DLC, or worse even another game pretending to be connected to it or just .. in general ... especially given how successful totk was and still looks like its only praised outside of my bubble of like minded people
i now got alot of people interested into my totk rewrite but now im worried ... isnt my energy and time better spent on something else .. especially if they are just gonna make it all worse anyway/mess with it more, like after seeing how much totk disappointed me yet how successful it is i doubt it will get better again
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askkintsugitale · 2 months ago
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CHAPTER TWO: NOT YOUR REFLECTION.
((second chapter of kintsugitale!!! this one's longer, :P!!!)) ((Please read if you have any time, i really put a lot of work into these./nf))
Sans woke up slowly. He felt warm, and numb. He was lying in the snow. Why was he lying in the snow? What had happened? Everything came rushing back in a dull roar, building up in his head. He shot up, the snow that had been encrusted on his clothes falling off in little flakes. He started running, tripping over his own feet. The snow began to thin, giving way to the sound of rushing water. He tried to use shortcuts, but it didn’t work. He began to call out in a panic. “PAPYRUS!? UNDYNE!? ANYONE!?” Where was everyone? Where was everyone? The explosion, the darkness. The stone falling from the ceiling. 
Running through the familiar paths of Waterfall, but no one was there. As he went deeper and deeper hot steam began to fill the area. He couldn’t see anything, But he was still running, running, running and there was a cliff he was about to fall he needed to stop he needed to- He slid to a stop next to the edge of a pit that was not supposed to be there. The air was thick, and it made Sans lightheaded. He backed up one, two steps away from the pit. It looked like it had no bottom. His eyelights were barely pinpricks of white, showing his obvious panic. He had to get out of here. It wasn’t safe. He was going to pass out from the heat and the steam. But he needed to find Papyrus. What if he was hurt, what if he was dead? No. He couldn’t think about that right now. He needed to keep it together. This was not the time to panic. Sans took another few steps back, before beginning to run back the way he came. His vision was starting to go blurry. He couldn’t stay here, something must have happened to this part of Waterfall and now he could barely walk in there for five minutes without almost fainting. As he got to a safe area, Sans took a second to breathe and regain his bearings. His entire body shook as his mind raced. What could he do? If he couldn’t get through Waterfall, how could he get to the castle to make sure everyone was alive? He couldn’t use shortcuts. Why? That question finally snapped him out of it. How was he even still alive? The last thing he had remembered was the sensation of turning to dust. That crystal. He looked down at the gem, surprised to find it hanging around his neck from a string. He grabbed it in one hand, bringing it up to eye level. As he turned the black gem, it caught the light in the most peculiar way, shining with every color he could think of. It was warm, and it felt strange. 
It felt like it was full of magic. Much more magic than he had ever experienced. How did he know that? Because he felt like there was an unseen string connecting his SOUL to it. As he let the crystal drop back to his chest, he tried to think. What had caused all of this? He had been lying on the floor, pretending to be dead as the human fought Flowey. But they had died. He remembered getting up because now he had to do something. Flowey hadn’t paid him any mind. He had all the human souls. Sans had watched as Flowey took all of the human souls and tried to combine them. Sans didn’t have a clue why, but that’s what made it all go wrong. He had watched that egotistical weed’s expression go from sadistic joy to fear, before a flash of white-hot enveloped him. He was dead, hopefully. Everything else after that was a blur. He had felt pain, and then cold. All he had been able to hear was ringing, like someone shot off a gun next to his head. Sans took a breath, speaking out loud to himself to collect his thoughts. He counted his problems on his fingers. “okay sans, keep it together. you cant use shortcuts, you can’t get through waterfall. something probably collapsed from that explosion……what the hell?” Sans blinked twice, noticing the cracks on his own hands. Most of his fingertips were black crystal. He pulled back his sleeve. More cracks. His breathing started to get shallow. He pulled his sleeve back down and shoved his hands forcefully into his pockets. He started walking back towards Snowdin. He could barely think with all of these questions, but he knew the most logical thing to do next would be to get back to Snowdin, and assess the supplies he had. The walk back was short, but it felt wrong. It was so quiet, with no one around. The door to his house was unlocked, and the lights were off save for the dim light from the kitchen. As he turned into the living room, he caught his own reflection on the TV. He didn’t look like himself. He was slightly taller than he should be, his shoulders were broader than they should be. There was a fracture along his skull, stretching across his face. He got closer to the TV, his hands shaking as his fingertips traced along the cracks. As he spoke, his voice broke out into heaving sobs. “what the fuck.. what the FUCK!”  He screamed the last word into the silence, collapsing to the floor. His entire body shook as he cried, muttering incoherently as he did. When he had the strength too, he backed up and collapsed onto the green couch. He buried his head in his hands, his eyes shut tight. He didn’t want to look at his reflection. That wasn’t him. He cried until he passed out from exhaustion.
Not a promising start…. . . . AHWQHIUDWHIUDHQIUWHNQI W THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET OUT <////33 MORE CONTENT SOON I SWEAR Also, thank you for reading. It means a lot to me that people are willing to read something i wrote. And i love hearing your thoughts, so reblog and put in the tags, send me a dm, or send me an ask!!! i really love hearing other's thoughts!!
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f444keitflowers · 2 years ago
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Yellowjackets characters as Boygenius songs !!
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Taissa Turner - Souviner
Always managed to move in / right next to the cemeteries / and never far from hospitals / I don't know what that tells you about me / pulling thorns out of my palm / working midnight surgery / when I cut a hole into my skull / do you hate what you see? / like I do.
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Vanessa Plamer - Emily i’m sorry
Headed straight for the concrete / in a nightmare / screaming / now i’m wide awake /spiralling / and you dont wanna talk / just take me back to montreal / i’ll get a real job / you’ll go back to school / we can burn out / in the freezing cold / and just get lost / Emily i’m sorry baby / you know how I get / when i’m wrong / and I can feel myself becoming somebody i’m not / I’m not sorry
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Jackie taylor - Cool about it
I came prepared for absolution / if you’d only ask / so I take some offense when you say “no regrets” / […] / once I took your medication / to know what it’s like / and now I have to act like/ I cant read your mind / I ask you how you’re doing / and I let you lie / but we dont have to talk about it / I can walk you home / and practice method acting / i’ll pretend being with you doesn’t feel like drowning / telling you it’s nice to see / how good you’re doing / even though we know / it isn’t true.
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Shauna Shipman - Letter to an old poet
I said "I think that you're special" / you told me once that I'm selfish / and I kissed you hard / in the dark / in the closet / […] / you don't know me / I wanna be happy / I'm ready / to walk into my room / without looking for you / I'll go up to the top of our building / and remember my dog / when I see the full moon / I can't feel it yet / but I am waiting
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Lottie Matthews - Not strong enough
Always an angel / never a god / always an angel / never a god / I don't know why I am / the way I am / There's something in the static / I think I've been having / revelations / Coming to / in the front seat / nearly empty / Skip the exit / to our old street and go home / Go home alone
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Laura Lee - Without you without them
give me everything you’ve got / i’ll take what I can get / I want to hear your story / and be a part of it / thank your father before you / his mother before him / who would I be without you without them? / speak to me / until your histories / no mystery to me.
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Natalie Scatorccio - Revolution 0
If it isn't love / then what the fuck is it? / I guess just let me pretend / I don't want to die / That's a lie / But I'm afraid to get sick / I don't know what that is / You wanted a song / So it's gonna be a short one / Wish I wasn't so tired / But I'm tired / If you're not enough / Then I give up/ and then nothing is / I used to think if I just closed my eyes / I would disappear.
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Misty Quigley - Stay Down
I wasn’t a fighter til somebody told me i’d better learn / to lean into the punch / so it don’t hurt as bad / when they leave / there you were / turning my cheek / i look at you / and you look at a screen / i’m in the backseat of my body / i’m just steering my life / in a video game / similar accent / a different name / it’s a slow down / so would you teach me im the villain / aren’t I / aren’t I the one / constantly repenting for a difficult mind
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silence-between-seconds · 8 months ago
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OK NOW YOUR TURN
pls pls ramble abt any niche interest you have
HELLO THANK YOU
*invokes inner history nerd* so. listen here colonizer and listen good. i will subject you to my random knowledge cuz due to youtube, undiagnosed neurodivergency and most importantly- bad jokes. i have a vari-tea of niche interests but the first thing that came to my mind was my knowledge of the history of how Indians became one of The Top Consumers of Tea.
how did this wonder-drug make its way into our masala covered hearts? what led to the fact that everyday at 4pm the word at the tip of most indians' tongues is "chai"?this is my thesis as a pro desi tea obsessed freak.
This story, like most in our history, starts with the arrival of the British. i would like to insert this picture i found in a video that i laughed at for a solid five minutes:
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anyway
technically tea was invented in china, and for a very long time it was exclusively grown there. it was a very high class commodi-tea. it was considered so precious that in 1662 when king charles the second married the Portuguese princess catherine of braganza: her dowry was a chest of tea and THE ENTIRE ISLAND OF MUMBAI (then, bombay) for an annual lease of 10 pounds. let me make that clearer. THE PLACE WHERE A 1BHK HOUSE IS SO EXPENSIVE MOST PPL CANT AFFORD WAS EQUIVALENT TO THIS:
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needless to say the brits was so freaking addicted man. they wanted this. so bad.
By the 18th centuary there was a war between the english and the dutch and the brit resources were down the toilet so they couldnt afford to spend all that silver on the trade of tea leaves with china. and china was uninterested in anything the white boys were offering.
UNTIL they discovered something china wanted.
✨Drugs✨
the white boys wanted that tea. and they would do anything. so they started growing opium in india (by that time they had colonized us bruh. they came into our backyard and were like "bro we're such good friends pretty please let me use ur backyard" "ok what do you want to do w it?" "i wanna grow drugs bro" "....ok" "you'll work for me no bro?" "why would i do that" "bro its ur backyard bro" "what-" *england pulls out slavery* "SHUT UP AND DO IT") (dont come at me lmao this is a very rough simplification of what happened)(imma get blocked for this?)
anyway, brits grew opium and smuggled it to china in return for TEA. FOR TEA. 40.
now after the charter act of 1833 (idk what that is exactly but basically brits lost its trade monopoly with china and so now china said we should see other people and it was an open relationship and britian got very pissed but they signed the act anyway i think)
to deal with this they established the Tea Committee (this isnt the first government board specifically for tea. there were plen-tea of others like the Tea Board Of India) which dealt w the extraction of techniques, tea seads and resources from the chinese. this was highly unsuccessful and china was not impressed. this is an example of british desperation they'll do anything at this point. (took everything in me to not insert pictures of how they treated indian farmers. it was *inhales, lets go of anger for my ancestors treatment* bad)
but in the end this qoute i found (undoubtedly by a white man) "fortune favours the white men" came tru and they got their way.
oh you thought i was done? haha babygurl i am not
in 1843 robert fortune, who was a scottish horticulturist, went on a solo trip to china to study (read as: steal) tea plantations. no actually apparently he did study cuz he published a book(i forgot the name).(yes. HIS NAME WAS ROB. FORTUNE. talk about being born for a job)
lemme insert a quick meme here:
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(they actually hired him on the spot and gave the amazed man 500 pounds per annum and sent him off to china)
he was to perform what we call The Great British Tea Heist the brits had found their vigilan-tea
my guy was committed to his role and shaved his head and pretended to be a monk and after 3 months wrote a letter to his company saying "bro i got the goodssss"
lmao no this it what the letter said- "l have much pleasure in informing you," he wrote, "that I have procured a large supply of seeds and young plants which l trust will get safely to India."
NOW they finally had the greens and started planting it in india. over the years indian tea topped the market in britian as the best tea. mostly cuz the white boyz HYPED it up. they even started doing diss tracks for chinese tea. this is something read right out of an advertisment- "indian teas are more wholesome, purer, cheaper and better than chinese teas in every single way". white boyz started saying stuff like they got out of a toxic realtionship with china and a healthy one with india (but they were the toxic ones)
now brits tried to globalize indian tea to get the moneyyy~ from indians.
their first experiment with (another) government body for tea- Indian Tea Association began on the indian railways. these railways were the ancestor of the IRC-tea-C. basically they started making tea on the railway platforms. this started the trend of tea being the signature experience on every indian train journey, from the first class to economy, everyone was having it (cuz trains were introduced and quickly became popular in use). train tea was said to be better than the quality of tea in 5 star hotels. and this converted us from a nation of tea-totalers to teach addcits.
now i just have one thing to say in the end. HOW did the quality decline so badly my desi brothers and sisters? nowadays the tea on trains is basically water but brown. milk is a lie.
anyway. on the end we got it right. we took tea from the chinese and brits and we added milk and we added sugar and we got:
✨chai✨
you have reached the end. congrats.
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sturniololoit · 27 days ago
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CHRIS STURNIOLO FAN FIC
bf!chris
WARNINGS: Smut! p n v, masterbat-
ion, caught, dirty talk
You (Andrea) are in the living room with Chris you and him are hanging out. your wearing a short skirt and a white tube top
i cross my legs, pretending i’m on my phone when really every time i try to look down i glance back up at Chris sitting across from me. For some reason something about Chris is off… he wont speak and all he’s doing is looking down on me, he might be staring at my tits but i cant assume
“Chris, you alright? you seem off” i say with a hint of worry in my voice. he snaps out of whatever he was doing in his brain and looks at me “yeah, y-yeah uhm..” he pauses “-alot on my mind right now” he says looking at me. “i’m gonna go to my room..” he says.. i nod. “y-yeah okay sure ill be here…” i say, half of the words that came out of my mouth only i heard because he was in a hurry to leave to his room.
____________________________________
I walk past his room and hear “fuck- andrea” i look over at his door and see.. "holy shit is he? JERKING OFF TO ME?" i think in my mind as i see it. i see him with his phone wide open next to him. "shit shit shit! i was not supposed to see that” i say in my mind once again. i rush to my room and shut the door..
After a few minutes i decided to go back to his room and peak through the door… “chris?” i say with a shocked expression
he snaps his head up. “holy shit! shut the door! get out!” he says and as soon as he says shut the door… i dont think twice.. i actually walk in there.
“jerking off to who?” i say. “you.. look im sorry please dont be mad..” he says looking down. “why would i be mad”. “i mean you saw me jerking off to you..”. i walk to him and kneel. “no baby i would never.. but if you needed help you could have asked” he pauses.. hes shocked..
CHRIS’S POV
holy fuck is she trying to say she wants to.. fuck? am i wrong? i dont wanna do the wrong thing.. “really? you would” i say with a happy voice looking at Andrea.
“yeah baby”
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SORRY BUT THIS IS ALL FOR NOW I CAN DO PART TO ON FRIDAY! or later depends! bye love you guys hops you like it, if you do please interact i read and reply to comments!
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letmeoutofthebasementt · 1 month ago
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can I ask your honest advices on something personal? so I get next to no communication from a now former friend, I had some hunch to ask a reader if said friend dislikes me and the answer came back as yes so I recently googled if ignoring someone or not reaching out to them via texts can count as them being jealous or having some dislike? yet they still send the bday present and xmas card or present as do I but I feel like its a cheap way when I know she practically lives online but I barely here from her so I dont really know what to do? we havent met in years and she makes next to no effort to seem interested in what im doing even if I try to take interest in herself as a friend it feels very one sided even when we used to meet up it would always be about her and never any follow up questions.
I know she has a disablity of some kind however the effort she puts into her other friends is vastly different. if she messages me its once in a blue moon and only to ask if I want to do a quiz, now I stopped checking my online profiles so much because like it seemed she was much more into what she got from others i dont want to feel desperate by constantly trying to fix whatever this "friendship" was supposed to be. do i ask her or do i wonder about it? if she dont tell me how am i gonna know what to do about it because many ppl been like her even when I was in school I was always dealing with ppl who pretended to care when they didnt. I didnt know any better then so it feels like ppl r just only using me if they need me for that certain point otherwise they fuck off and find "better friends" elsewhere like am i that replaceable or weird?
is this petty of me to want to ignore her back or is it mostly her behaviours towards me? the thing is I have dealt with many ppl like her and it doesnt put her in a good light it gives trying to be nice to my face but for all I know she could be chatting shit with someone about me? and shes quite popular online. hence why it feels like im always bottom of her priorities since always having to instigate a conversation felt like conversing with a brick aka it was going nowhere. I know her disability cant prevent her from being a decent person but do I just leave her? yet this whole present giving thing really isnt it for me. its giving oh I will just send her something to make it seem like she cares when she dont message or try to get in touch nor does she want to meet up. all her messages in recent years have been so short almost too blunt
does this sound like jealousy or regular dislike? sorry for rambling again but im so effing tired of these types of ppl who act like they care to have a friendship but then half ass their way out of it, it doesnt help that we moved since long ago so we cant be closer physically as friends. But I feel like my existance bothers her for some unknown reasons. as I told the tarot reader im nothing special heck im not the popular one she is if anything I would guess she was quite popular that she simply didnt need me? You would think if we was real friends she would make a bit more effort cause sometimes theres things I wanna tell her but am like wait she dont care so im not gonna bother cause she want certain replies and comments yaknow?
thanks so so much in advance if you read all of this!!! I love your blog and readings so felt comfortable to ask you for your thoughts hope you dont mind the rant there!
Honestly that’s an awful situation to be in. In my opinion, it’s not necessarily jealousy. She just doesn’t like you, point blank period.
Now, I can admit I’m the type who’s on my phone a lot but can sometimes miss people’s messages, and I’m not good with reaching out first. But that’s not a good behavior. And at least if she liked you she’d be interested when you’re talking, which is something I do. And she’d be there for you. And at least she could come around to responding eventually instead of flat out ignoring you and only contacting you when she needs you.
It seems like to me she’s keeping you around so she can have more people clinging to her and chasing her to fuel her ego. It’s more an ego thing than a genuine like. She does not like you. I’d bet she doesn’t even necessarily tolerate you. But she likes your attention.
She likes the experience of being worshipped and chased. Knowing she doesn’t have to try and you will just chase and follow her to the ends of the earth.
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lonelyalien369 · 2 months ago
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i feel like my mom is always mad at me (not always but anxiety is the exaggerator) and that's why i keep having dreams where we're fighting and i get very mad and im still mad at her when i wake up for some reason as if what she did in the dream was actually her fault. but idk. i never feel comfortable talking about my struggles with her and im not sure why. is it that im afraid of people in general thinking im begging for attention or something or am i afraid of her response specifically? my memory is so shit so i cant bring myself to a specific example but theres just this feeling in my head that if i get personal with her shes going to ridicule me for some reason. like maybe, i guess, i don't complain about work anymore because then she one ups me about how she works TWO jobs and i have sooo many days off and blah blah blah like okay man but youre physically abled and shit and im not. just because i dont have some horrible debilitating illness diagnosed doesn't mean im not fucking struggling through everyday. you dont know half the shit i go through every day because i stopped telling you a long ass time ago. i stopped when i was a teenager because no one ever believed me. why would i have reason to think anyone would now? i just get slapped with a "fibromyalgia" diagnosis and told to go home. hey, what about my balance problems? my lack off appetite and subsequent weight loss? my constant migraines? my daily pain? whatever man. she doesn't know any of it. i don't tell her. why would i ever think she would believe it? i dont know if im justified in thinking that, but im terrified of finding out, so i never do. i keep it all to myself like i always have. yep. it always works. im doing great. justt peachy. god, i feel like she barely knows me. does that make me terrible? i don't even want to talk to her anymore. i just want to silently slink off to my room for the night. i never know how to bring any of this shit up. my dad may have been explosive when it came to criticizing him, but my mom wasn't far fucking behind. and she likes to pretend they're so different. i guess i get it, i have rejection sensitive dysphoria, so even polite corrections feel like shots to the face, but i dont react by vehemently lashing out and stubbornly defending myself. i just shut up, shut down and leave to cry. but they get angry. and theyll insist they're right. and you can never ever change their mind about nearly anything. we don't talk about cops anymore. i try to stop my siblings from saying stuff like acab because i know shes going to get pissy and defensive about it. when they dont live with her they forget how sensitive she is. i used to be annoyed when theyd feel bad for me for still living with her. but fuck, i get it now. trying to build a long term relationship with her kind of just... hits this wall. you cant get vulnerable with her. it feels too uncomfortable. you feel like you're going to be judged, because you HAVE been. its not an unreasonable assumption. and its BROKEN us. where else am i going to go? i dont have a relationship, no friends to go to, and she's dependent on me too.
.... we're going to have to break the uncomfortable silence eventually. its only hard to talk if you don't try. if this keeps brewing, we're only going to drift apart. and then we'll just have a bunch of regrets...... i wonder if she thinks these things too. i wonder if she wants to be vulnerable, but doesn't want to put the burden on me. you cant exactly read other peoples minds. ..... i cant start tonight. but i.. i often find that i misread her emotional state. i tend to think shes upset with me when shes quiet . but most of the time shes just doing something and its fine. i always assume. fuck. i wish i just had a normal relationship with my parents. does anyone have that? that would be fucking nice.
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baekhvuns · 1 year ago
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It has just been a month and a half since I got into second year........things alr seem tough 😭. NVM about that, my friends's acquaintance apparently came in handy for this job. Yn job?!?!? Nah frr it reminds of those rom coms 😭😭.
NO HES GOTTA MAKE THE MOVE! But I bet he doesn't even know i fancy him cuz of my tremendous behaviour towards the person I like- PRETEND THEY DON'T EXIST! you will never catch me, and i mean NEVER catch me giving them soft eyes or trying to make a good covo, Bcz my brain says if you find someone attractive act cold towards them and then secretly cry in your room for them to notice when you basically give no clues whatsoever 😃
OHMYGOD NELLY FURTADO?!?! Honestly, I could've given out much better songs! I just forget the artists 😩 WEEKEND IN JUST FRIENDS DANG IT I FORGOT ABT HIM! I'm telling you since the whole the idol show launched, I can never listen to the weekend the same.
I scrolled down a lot on your blog, reading the asks and i saw someone made like vision boards for your fics. And i specifically loved the khronus one 🤌 and I kept tht in mind while thinking of the songs but i forgot it was based on moon lovers 🤦‍♀️
Besides that I've been meaning to ask you about your views on anime. I mean do you watch anime if so what'd be your top picks? Bcz...I'm obsessed with it so ....
Nooo I need a new part of just friends 😭 I'm STARVING FOR IT! The idea of hwayoung automatically popped in my brain when I saw this blog praising Shiloh pitt's visuals and people were going crazy over that oh wow she looks so much like her mother, or like mother like daughter. But ong Shiloh is majestic! Like those genes she acquired from Angelina 🤚🙌✨
I've been meaning to watch red, white and royal blue...(I hope that's the right title!) But I won't get the timeee 😭 like today, I'm doing nothing but I wanna dedicate this day to just my silly little videos on YouTube and not a series or a movie. But I'll try to stay strong!!
Ok but like I really wanna make hwa read the ffs 😭 LIKE PLS SIR!! I'm gonna dm KQ ent a pdf of Duke and general and ask them to MALE THIS A DRAMA! I will in this lifetime, SOMEONE HAS TO DO THT FIC JUSTICE!
reminds you? best friend it IS A YN JOB just wait till the holidays and the movie will start 👀
NO BECAUSE I GET U 😭😭 GOTTA ACT NOT INTERESTED AND MYSTERIOUS CANT LET THE COVER FAIL GDKWHDKW
NELLY FURTADO’S EVERY SONG W TIMBALAND IS FOR JUST FRIENDS (waiting for their new collab omg) AND THE WEEKND YEAH FHWJDHKS no ur right ever since the idol’s clips i saw on twt i just 🫠 what the fuck <3 but if we forget that then the songs def work for runways
omg yes i do!!! i grew up watching it but i mostly only watched shoujo and they stopped making shoujo’s for some reason like 5 years back and i only go to watch those but there’s a few new ones out w the same drawing so im watching them atm! my top picks since i only watched shoujo/slice of life’s would be 1. kamichu, 2. k-on, 3. tamako market, 4. ouran high school, 5. maid sama, 6. orange, 7. kamisama kiss, 8. alice academy, 9. yunerio patisserie!!!!!!! 10. pretty rhythm aurora dream (this was my fav as a kid)
a few others i can think from the top of my head is nana, cardcaptor sakura, SPECIAL A, itazura na kiss, my next life as a villainess, natsume’s book of friends, swan lake (2002), kodocha! if u want recs lemme know ive got a whole collection list 😭😭
ILL DEF LOOK INTO SOMETHING LIKE JUST FRIENDS! NO SHILOH IS LIKE THE PERFECT MIXTURE OF HER PARENTS i get it, id want hwa and yn from just friends to have pretty kids, u know they’d be mad tall 😭😭
that movie is so good!!! i wish it was longer bc i wanted to see more of their progression but it’s a good movie nonetheless!!
LMFAOOOO PLS FHWKDHWKHDWK TAKE THE SMUT OUT RIGHT NOW FHWKHFKWFJWK
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own-tt · 2 years ago
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"Say Yes."
Yandere Lawliet x Reader NSFW
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Summary: L had always wanted true successors. Ones that are tied by blood. Maybe you could help him with that fantasy
Warnings: breeding kink, mentions of blood, biting, L being a pervert, drugging , L ooc?, L doesnt like his successors much, masterbastion, L drugging sweets, Yandere themes, mentions of kidnapping,
Word count: 1234
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L just always liked the idea of blood successors. Raising them just right, to perfection. And now that he has you, that fantasy can become reality.
He slowly creeps to your door and knock on it carefully. No answer so he goes inside. And there you were, laying in your bed, in a slim nightgown. You looked perfect like that.
When he opened the door your eyes snapped towards him. You rolled your eyes away from him and grabbed a book from the nearby nightstand, Probably to ignore him. He doesnt mind as he crawls next to your legs.
“Dearest?” He asks in a low voice. You don't reply with anything. Just continuing to read your book, continuing to ignore his gaze. “Y/nn.” He sings. “Leave me alone.”
He pretends that he didnt hear that. “I was wondering something.” Now you were honestly curious. You never heard him ask for something from you. He always just took it. Your things, your clothes. Anything to gain your attention. But now hes actually asking for something? So you respond with an angry hum.
“You remember my successors, right?” You did. He talked about them quite often, saying they were good kids. And they were the best successors he's ever had. You hummed again. “Well. I've been thinking.”
“I think we need more then two.” You were confused. So you asked “what do you mean.” His head was now laying on your thighs, his hair tickling you. “Well. Personally. They could be better, if I had someone to teach instead of the orphanage. I would be able to have even better successors.”
“I dont understand.”
“I want blood successor, ones that are tied by blood.” He says, you finally understand, and your eyes widened. You tried to crawl away from him. Screaming insults in the process.
“NO WAY AM I CARRYING YOUR CHILD EVER! YOU PERVERT GET AWAY FROM ME.”
He tried to calm you down, but all he could do is pull you back underneath him. He shushed you, putting his hand over your mouth to keep you silent.
“I want you to consider it. Just think. If I personally raise them, they'll be better than me even. And we will finally have some company, some small company running around the house.”
You didnt want to think of that, small baby L’s and yours running around the house, clingy to both of you.
An L copy, maybe more. You didnt even know how many he wanted. “NO! I DONT WANT TO! YOU CANT MAKE ME!”
“Not at the moment I cant. I'll give you some time to think about it. You tell me your opinion later.” He said before ducking down and kissing your forehead.
He then got up and left your room. Leaving you dazed and confused on what just happened. You could feel small tear droplets running down your cheek as you stared blankly at the wall.
L held the small bottle in his hand, he carefuly read the label, “Spice up your sex life with the new Aphrodisiac. Only a spoon full.” He carefully filled the spoon up with the liquid. It was a nice hot pink, which was odd but he didnt complain as he dumped it in the batter.
He knew you were hungry, hungry enough for food that he made, he told you that he had to go somewhere for a bit, so he was leaving you here. There was no way you could escape. But he knew you were hungry enough to eat the cake he was making. The one that had a small special ingredient.
But he didnt realized that when he came back he was greeted with a whimpering you, on the couch. Trying your best to create some friction with your fingers.
“This is all your fault isnt it.” You panted, not even caring about the vulnerable state you were in. “I dont know what your talking about dearest.” He said with a low smug smile. He was extremely content with the view he had. But he wouldn't mind a little more, “do you need any help?”
“Fuck you.” You gasped.
“If you dont need my help, I guess I'll go get something to eat.“
“Wait! Please!” You screamed. Trying to stop him from leaving. He smiled and back up next to you again. “Yes darling?”
“Please. I need your help. Please, please!”you begged. Your fingers were getting tired and crampy. You couldn't do this forever, you needed someone else, you were too desperate to ignore his help.
“Have you thought about what you wanted?” He said while crawling in between your legs. “Huh?” You sighed. “Dont you remember? I thought you would, it was such an important topic, I cant belive you would forget.” He mocked you, he sat in your legs. Holding them right above his hips.
“Wha- I. I cant remember.” Your mind was so full of that drug, that all you could think about was the relief he was going to give you.
“Then let me ask you again.” he whispered in your ear.
“Will you give me my future successors?” He said in that low voice that made you weak. “But. I dont wanna get pregnant, it's scary.” You whimpered. “Dont worry.” He cooed.”I'll be with you a the way. But I do need an answer from you dear.”
You didnt want to get pregnant, but the need growing in between your legs was starting to hurt. And you had a feeling he wasnt going to start unless you agreed. So you nodded.
“That's what I want to see.” He buried his face in your neck as he started to grind his dick against you. Making you groan.
“I c-ant.” you stutter. You cant process anything when he makes you feel like this. “Its okay, just let me do everything.” He mutters into your ear.
As he grinds he leans over and bites your neck hard, hard enough to draw a thin stream of blood. You hiss, you could feel his mouth form into a smile.
Suddenly he gets up and pulled his pants and boxes down. “I'm sorry, Love. But I cant hold it in anymore.” He chuckles. He didnt hesitate before showving himself inside you. Making you gasp for breath.
It was like he knocked out all the air from your lungs, You could feel him soothing the burn in between your legs.
His thrusts were harsh. Like he was trying to find something, deep inside you. “F-fuck. “ he cried. “Imagine. Us, a little. Kid!” He tries to get his sentence out before he moaned. You cant even respond over him pounding into you.
It isnt long until the both of you come undone. “Cum with me, please.” He says into your ear. you comply, Now you were left with a mess underneath you, and a stalker above you, completely out of breath. At least the affects of that drug is a lot more numb.
“Now.” He pants
“I'll finally live a fantasy. And have a blood successor.” He says while slowly rubbing your belly. Already imagining the way your belly will swell with his child.
You fell asleep, trying to ignore every word that's coming out of his mouth.
But you couldnt lie, it did feel quite good.
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leychin · 3 years ago
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the unfortunate people who asked for a part 2: @lavenders-writing @manurmukhs @eudemon-ia
Eclipse wasn't supposed to have a sequel, it was an open ending. There was demand for a part 2 and i wasn't gonna write it but its almost midnight, i dont know how i feel and im sitting under a waxing gibbous rn and the light is all through my room and its dark in here.
and to those who havent read part 1: eclipse
Unfortunately, you were not an eclipse.
To call yourself an eclipse is something exclusive to the bitter and the spiteful. Those who are too angry at themselves to see that it was no ones fault, and people grow apart.
The brushing of shoulders in the hall stopped feeling like anything, and eventually stopped all together. Making eye contact with him was met back with an equally cold stare. To say there was any warmth left in those crimson eyes for you was a laughable attempt at pretending like you were still a part of his life.
It was a simple fact that you just weren't a part of his life anymore, nor was he in yours. His hoodies and other knickknacks dropped off at the nearest donation bin as the spring came and you did your cleaning. You no longer clung to the happy memories because the morebyou look back, the more you realized they didn't happen, did they?
They say it comes with taking off the rose tinted glasses, which could very well be true, and maybe you're clinging to the things you didn't like about him to make yourself think it was for the better. debatable. You never liked that he left his sweaty workout clothes on the floor, and even though you told him you couldnt handle all of his spices he would still put them in and tell you to get over it.
Maybe thats why you still keep all your old pictures together in its album, if digital albums could collect dust then that one would be spotless. You open it frequently for some unknown reason, you say its to laugh at how dumb you were for thinking it would work, and to learn from your mistakes. Mistakes are not placed in an ornate box in the front of your mind for you to open at any moment you desire, so why are yours there?
Bakugo was once your sun, and you would've done anything to show him you were worthy of his light just three months ago. Now you find yourself with a dull shine, and you celebrate because there once was no shine at all, you find yourself looking to tell someone who's no longer there; you scoff and tell your girlfriends instead who've been with you the entire way.
The groupchat doesn't feel right anymore, the orher girls knew how you felt about the sun once. The moon left you, all light from the sun has to leave one way or another. But thats okay, the girls go out with you for girls days and you stop counting stars in your sleep because you know they'll never be you.
They say the whole "breakup thing" is hard, but what is there to mourn if nothing was there in the first place? The sun, the moon, and the stars are always there, even if they do not shine for you and do not bend to shine for anyone but themselves. You understood this as the law of the universe, so it didn't hurt. Nothing can hurt you if you excpected it all from the beginning.
The tightness in your chest when you see the anniversary posts every month can easily be chalked up to a long night of internet browsing, your hands are clenched into fists because of cramps, you should really get off of your phone.
But you cant, because long nights of browsing are some of the only moments of peace that you can manage without having the urge to punch something. The moon isn't the best company, but you'd rather befriend the stars than face the sun again.
They say the whole "breakup thing" is hard, maybe it is if there was really something there. But after a while of telling yourself that you felt nothing, you really start to feel nothing; or at least you think it feels like nothing. You still feel as empty as you did on the first day, but its an emptiness you've grown comfortable with and that's enough for you.
You want to wish for all of the celestial figures to disappear one day, no more eclipses, no clouds of smog to cover the stars and for the new moon to be permanent. But to wish for such things is for bitter people who can't get over something as simple as a breakup, so you wish for the sun and moon to continue as they are for all eternity and for the stars to watch in awe.
You'll watch with them one day.
When the comfortable ache, the emptiness starts to feel like home.
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oddaodd · 3 years ago
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· I Don't Go In For Sweets ·
Request: by a lovely anon "set after the events of season 3. Tommy can't handle the company, he's still grieving and he has to be there for Charlie so Polly tells him she knows a girl from a good family to get married He ends up agreeing (aunt Pol can be very persuasive) but even though he's married, this new girl isn't considered as a wife. He doesn't really make any effort but his "wife" understands, he's a widowed father who lost his first wife only a year ago. However since they are...in this, she wants to make her time as enjoyable as possible for the both of them and for Charlie too. But no matter what Tommy makes it a point of honor to not let her in, to not let her replace Grace so he ignores her, he works more, tries to spend as little as possible in the house. Reader stays patient, it will be alright and Charlie is making her quite busy anyway. One night, Tommy comes home completely drunk and maybe a bit high too, he can't even make it to his office. Thankfully Reader is still awake, she takes care of him and Tommy just...melts at how gentle Reader is, he may be able to keep his distant while sober but it's much harder in his state. He admits to her how he's been feeling and all. Ever since that night, something changed, Tommy feels some comfort, some solace being around her, she accepts him wholly, even his flaws, the bad side of his business and she tries to provide some sort of safe place for when it gets too hard." (I edited the request because it was very long, but I kept all essential parts in there)
Author’s note: I loved loved loved writing this and it ended up being SUPER long, but I’m very happy with how it turned out. As always, I hope you like it and have the loveliest of days!
Warnings: season 3 SPOILERS sort of, but not really, still read at your own risk. Arranged marriage, mentions of alcohol and drugs, angst.
·
“Thomas, you may not be able to see it, but you’re breaking apart” Polly spoke with a sigh as she lit a cigarette after everyone was dismissed from a family meeting.
Everyone had left Tommy’s office in arrow house rather gaily after receiving their fair compensations for partaking in the whole Russian ordeal, all except Polly, who remained where she sat, wishing for a word with her nephew
Tommy merely scoffed at her concern before lighting his own cigarette and taking a puff “I’ll be alright”
“And Charlie?” Pol pressed knowing Tommy’s mourning was not only affecting him, but Charlie as well. “What about him?”
“He’s fine” He said before turning around to look through the window, ignoring his Aunt’s heavy stare.
“You take too much after your mother” she sighed half angry half sad “she too loved pretending everything was alright and I don’t need to remind you where that lead her”
Tommy sighed deeply, he knew he could fool anyone. Anyone but Polly. “We’ll manage”
“Consider my offer” Polly said standing up and making her way to the door “Y/n is a good girl from a good family” she persuaded before leaving the room.
Tommy sighed at his Aunt’s words, he wasn’t ready to get married again even when he knew the woman he would be marrying was a nice one. He felt like he was spitting on Grace’s grave and he hated himself for even considering the prospect, but he knew a mother figure would be good for Charlie.
He spent the rest of the day pondering about Polly’s suggestion and remembering his own childhood in the shadow of the absent tortured presence that his mother had been. It didn’t take him long to decide he didn’t want that for Charlie, so that same night he phoned Polly.
“I’ll do it” was all he said before hanging up. There was no need for more words, Polly would know exactly what he meant.
Exactly a week later, Tom was standing in the altar of a church that was significantly smaller than the one from his first wedding. The fact that everything about this wedding was so obscenely different from his first did soothe his guilt a bit. And as he stood there he couldn’t keep his mind from traveling to the days leading up to his wedding to Grace. She had made sure everything was perfect and had made an effort to invite every single relative she could think of. She remembered her rambling on an on about fabrics, insisting that everything ought to be perfect when he in all honestly couldn’t care less, he just wanted to marry her.
All his thoughts vanished away with a poof when Y/n came into sight. And what a sight she was. She had insisted on doing her own makeup and on pinning flowers to her hair to compliment her headpiece and her elegant, yet simple white dress flowed almost mystically as her father gave her away. She had never imagined she would be marrying someone she didn’t know, but she wanted to look her best for getting married is not something people do everyday.
When she stood in the altar, she offered her to be husband a smile which he did not return, instead turning his attention to the priest before them. She mirrored his actions, her heart beating violently under her chest as the priest began speaking.
It all felt like a blur, she could swear it had only been a second since her father had given her away and yet, the priest had already uttered the dreaded “you may now kiss the bride”
Tommy barely brushed his lips against hers and soon the sound of everyone clapping invaded her ears. They had a small party afterwards in Y/n’s former house. Her parents had invited pretty much all of their acquaintances while tommy had only invited his close relatives.
When night fell Tommy was more than ready to leave “Are you ready to go?” was one of the few sentences he uttered to his now wife that night.
She again offered him a smile before saying “yeah just let me say goodbye”
The drive to arrow house was tense, although Y/n didn’t know Thomas very well she would tell he was unhappy. She wondered about what to say to him, but couldn’t come up with anything good enough and soon enough they were pulling over in front of Tommy’s stately home.
“Charlie must already be asleep, but I'll introduce you tomorrow” he said opening Y/n’s door for her.
“It’s alright” she said looking at him, not quite knowing what to do next.
“Your parents sent some of your belongings, I've already asked the maids to take them up to your-our room” he said
“Thank you, Thomas” she smiled as she walked into the big house not yet feeling close enough to him to call him Tommy.
His name falling from her lips caused an echo of bittersweet emotions to stir inside him but he masked it perfectly well as she introduced Y/n to the maids that went to the door to take their coats.
“Frances here will show you the way to the room” he said after having made introductions.
“This way, Mrs” Frances politely said.
Y/n began following her but stopped when she didn’t hear Tommy’s footsteps behind her own.
“Are you not coming?” she asked turning to look at him.
“Maybe in a bit” was all he said before he walked away down one of the many spacious hallways of the house.
After Y/n made herself comfortable in the room and changed into her nightgown she took the time to peek around the room like one always does when one is a strange place. After familiarizing herself with it she laid down in the big bed. She was nervous, she knew what happened on wedding nights. A small chuckle stopped at her lips when she recalled the stories her close already married girlfriends told her. If she hadn’t married a complete stranger she too would be looking forward to it.
Her thoughts ended up luring her to sleep after a while despite her nerves and the night went by in a ridiculously fast flash. The next morning she woke up alone and after getting ready she made her way downstairs. Tommy and Charlie were already in the dining room when she entered it.
“good morning” she said
Charlie immediately turned his attention to her, his eyes widening while his dad merely glanced at her while he muttered a “Good morning “ of his own.
Y/n sat down next to Tommy while he cleared his throat “charles, this is Y/n. We got married yesterday so she’ll be living with us from now on”
Charlie merely nodded in understanding before playing around with his food.
A tense air flooded breakfast until Tommy stood up, having barely touched his food and spoke turning to look at Y/n “I have to go now, if you need anything feel free to ask Frances”
“Alright” Y/n replied feeling a bit disappointed, she would love to get to know him, but she already knew it was going to be difficult.
“I have to go too” Charlie announced in a timid voice, interrupting Y/n’s thoughts. Despite her disappointment she understood, maybe he was just shy and his dad just reticent. They had lost a wife and a mother after all.
The first few days after that, Charlie avoided her nearly as much as his father did and Y/n remained in lonely patience until one night Charlie’s cries interrupted her focus on the book that she had just bought. She rushed to his room and called out his name as she entered not knowing if the boy would be comfortable with her or not.
“What is it?” she asked worried as she knelt by his bed.
“I miss my mum” the boy confessed looking at her with teary eyes as he clutched his blanket.
Y/n felt her heart give a small ache at his confession and in an attempt to comfort him she spoke “She’s not really gone, you know?”
“She’s dead” the boy sobbed.
“but people who die, don’t leave us. Not really anyhow” she said hesitantly rubbing his arm. “just because we cant see them doesn’t mean they are not here”
“I miss seeing her” he continued.
“Oh but you can still see her”
“how”
“before you go to bed just think about her, then she’ll visit you in your dreams” Y/n spoke as if she was telling a fairy tale.
“really?” the boy’s eyes widened.
“really” Y/n confirmed “But you have to think really really hard”
“I’ll try” Charlie said having calmed down a bit.
“very well” Y/n said as she stood up, but Charlie’s voice stopped her.
“can you stay till I fall asleep?”
After that night, Charlie hardly left Y/n’s side and she felt much better with his company for she was sure if he wasn’t there keeping her on her toes all day she would fall into a depressive chasm induced by her husband’s absence.
On the rare moments he was home she tried to strike up conversation with him over breakfast or late at night when he came home and she was burdened by insomnia. But Tommy only humored her with a few short responses before excusing himself or turning to face the other side of the bed.
It wasn’t only the fact that he avoided her as much as he could, but he also made it a priority to exclude her at all times. She was never invited into family meetings or night’s at The Garrison so she thought it was a miracle when tommy didn’t oppose to her planning Charlie’s birthday party.
She invited only Tommy’s family which instantly warmed up to her, noticing what a good influence she was and Polly wanted to slap Thomas for the way he had been acting throughout his marriage to Y/n. Almost feeling guilty for getting her into this mess.
When the party ended Tommy shut himself in his office like he often did when he was at home and though he had never given Y/n a reason to believe she was welcome in there of all places, she found herself allowing herself in after putting Charlie to bed.
Tommy looked up as she entered and let out a sigh before turning his attention back to some papers he had been reading.
“I noticed you didn’t have any” she commented not letting his sigh deflate her as she laid a plate with a slice of homemade chocolate cake on his desk. “it’s really good if I may say so myself” she mused sitting down in a chair opposite to his as she dug in with a fork in her own slice.
“I don’t go in for sweets” he stated.
“Not even chocolate?” Y/n tried, but tommy didn’t answer, instead he just shook his head.
“I still think you should try it, it’s not overly sweet, and…”
“is there anything you need?” he interrupted bluntly a bit harsher than he would’ve liked.
His tone caught her off guard and when she couldn’t come up with an answer tommy again turned his attention back to his papers.
“I wish you could let me in” She softly confessed after a few tense seconds.
“Well I wish we hadn’t married but I guess things don’t always go the way we want them to go”
Tommy knew he had crossed a line by the silence that again settled into the room. He looked up at Y/n with her parted lips and misty eyes. They exchanged glances for a second but instead of allowing him to see her like that any longer, she stood up setting her plate on his desk and walked away, only allowing a few tears to drop by when she was out of the room and his sight.
After that she stopped trying to get closer to him. He still loved his late wife and she understood, people in grief never mean what they say after all, but his words stung nonetheless.
She stopped trying to wait for him at night to see if he had gotten home alright and during breakfast she only uttered polite good mornings.
One night however, Y/n was yanked out of a peaceful sleep by a loud crash. She was on her feet in no time and after checking into Charlie’s room to see if he was alright she cautiously ventured downstairs. A few incoherent mumbles filled her ears before her husband came into sight, fumbling with his coat to get it off.
“need help?” she asked earning his attention.
“I’m fine” he said finally taking it off but as he went to take a step to begin walking the floor under him moved and he lost his balance, his knees crashing loudly against the wooden floor.
Y/n offered him a hand and helped him up. He smelled of whiskey and cigarettes, his hands were shaky, consequence of the snow, no doubt. “let’s get you upstairs”
“I can do it on me own” he slurred letting go of her hand.
“stop being so stubborn” she derided, snaking one of her arms around his waist as she helped him upstairs.
Y/n helped him into bed, tookoff his shoes and went to the bathroom to fetch a small towel and some cold water.
She dampened the towel with the cold water before dabing it gently on Tommy’s forehead. His eyes never leaving her face as she did so, making her grow a bit nervous. She continued, trying her best to ignore it until she felt his hand softly caressing her cheek.
“You are beautiful” he rasped.
“Stop it, Thomas” she said feeling her cheeks grow red when she felt a bit sad that he had to be completely drunk to compliment her.
Even in his drunken state he seemed to notice he was making her uncomfortable so he held his tongue until Y/n laid in bed next to him after turning on the lights.
“I’m sorry” he interrupted the silence “For the way I’ve been acting” the whiskey and cocaine making him more vulnerable and open “I guess I was afraid that if I let you in then she would disappear”
He didn’t expect her to answer, but then her voice came in a soft exhausted tone“ I don’t intend to replace her. You don’t need to act all defensive and secretive. Even if it’s not what you wanted, we are married.”
“I Know” was all he said.
Y/n expected him to withdraw more from her after showing himself that vulnerable to her that night but she was wrong. He began arriving home earlier, sometimes even asking if he could come along on the walks she and Charlie so much adored going on. And Y/n finally felt her marriage was going somewhere maybe it wasn’t based on love yet, but it was something.
One day she was at the stables while Charlie was taking a nap. She had always adored horses.
“I didn’t know you liked horses” came Tommy’s smooth voice causing her to jump.
“You never asked” she smiled petting a black horse as he walked closer to her.
“We could go out for a ride, I’m sure Charlie wouldn’t mind letting you borrow his horse” Tommy offered as he too began to pet the horse, his fingers brushing against Y/n’s for a brief second.
“I’d love to, but I am afraid I don’t know how to ride, Tommy” she said, panicking for a second after having called him that. But she rested assured as soon as he spoke again.
“Well that can be fixed” he said opening the door of the stall and guiding the horse outside.
“You mean now?” Y/n asked with a laugh.
“Got something better to do?” he asked walking out of the stable with the horse. Y/n observed tommy as he prepared the horse. She had never seen him so gentle and calm before and she only realized she had been staring when Tommy directed his attention to her to ask her if she was ready.
“I think so” she said going to stand next to the horse wondering how the hell to climb up. But before she had any more time to think she felt Tommy’s hands on her waist giving her a push that allowed her to pull herself up on the animal. It was a good thing she had chosen to wear slacks that day, she thought.
“Goodness this is high” she said nervously looking down at Tommy when he began guiding the horse to move in a slow walk.
“Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall” he promised repressing a mirthful tone at her nervousness.
He guided the horse with her around the property in the crisp evening air and Y/n allowed herself to relax with every step the horse took. Tommy’s presence made her feel safe and protected and she found it increasingly harder to look away from his figure. She wondered if he could feel her eyes on him.
When the sky began turning soft shades of purple and orange the pair returned to the stables. When the time came from Y/n to come down from the horse, tommy helped her again. Y/n began to love the feeling of him touching her and when her feet touched the ground in front of Thomas, he didn’t remove his hands from her waist right away and instead fixed his blue eyes on her, not wanting to stop looking at her.
She too fixed her eyes on Tommy as she felt a silent gasp in the base of her throat. That was the way she would’ve liked him to look at her on their wedding day. Tommy then leaned in, almost as if he were asking for permission before he tenderly pressed his lips to Y/n’s.
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