#now i have to let it die bcos i have no other choice like it wont even lock

[kaninka]

ughrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[puppetsoftomorrow]

Whats your weird beef with the wayhaught marriage plot?

oh Man okay it’s not that it’s Bad but it’s like ... part of my general weird beef with wynonna earp so here goes. 

firstly, non wayhaught beef i have:

1. there are Too Many snappy one liners the dialogue is getting incomprehensible

2. the treatment of non white characters is ... bad. like dolls’ storyline was So lopsided compared to doc’s, and all the other non white characters are either killed, the butt of the joke (cough jeremy cough) or just evil in ... weird ways. like rosita being the ‘good’ revenant was so super interesting bcos it raised the possibility of wynonna choosing between ending the curse and killing her friend, but then rosita is just evil and the choice to kill her becomes obvious. anyways.

3. and look i’m not going after the fandom here it just Feels like the existence of wlw and mlm in the storyline take precedence in fan spaces over the treatment of non white characters, so it is still seen as a good / progressive show. like having gay doesn’t mean you get a free pass on the racism.

wayhaught beef:

1. when wynonna earp started, it traded on the ‘gays dont die in this!!’ card, which i mean after the 100 was a pretty smart play, but its also like ... the bare minimum. like they can stop trading on this now its been fucking years, we can and do have wlw and mlm media that keeps the gays alive And is yknow. actually good.

2. i find wayhaught as a relationship to be ... underdeveloped. like sure they go thru a lot together but do they mature as people? as a couple? like seperate from all the wacky stuff that goes on?? like Okay i’m gonna bring avalance into this but we have had Several episodes in which avalance have grown as a couple (aka the ikea ep), and you can see a marked progression in their relationship from its beginnings in s3 to now. can u say the same for wayhaught?

3. and the crux of it: if you want to show a relationship is progressing, jumping to marriage is a lazy plot device. like marriage is just a bit of paper - do they want kids together? have they moved in together? what abt a storyline where nicole wants to leave purgatory, bcos she’s overprotective and scared for waverley but also wants her to live her own life, but waverley doesn’t want to leave her sister / the life she has?? resolving this would be a great way to show how they grow and change as people Together but Nope its lets get married!!

4. or: so we know nicole is like 26 and waverley is 21, what if nicole wants to get settled down and married and waverley doesn’t feel ready, or feels scared to make smth permanent like that bcos of her Life? what abt a storyline where nicole proposes, and waverley says no, but its a good outcome bcos they still love eachother its just not the right time??

so full disclosure, i haven’t seen the last few eps, so if it suddenly gets much better i’ll eat my words lol. anyways. i think marriage is a cheap tactic to make weak relationships look stronger. and i’m Tired.

[equalseleventhirds]

i’m reading through scum & villainy for a new rpg group and i am just reminded of how much i love the mechanics of forged in the dark games

the only one i’ve played so far is mutants in the night but like... so good i love it and i want to TALK about it, in case anyone is out there looking for cool games to play.

first of all collaborative worldbuilding/scene setting/storytelling, very often the gm will ask players questions and together they create what’s happening (which is! i love it! it’s more interactive and emphasizes improv and also is a little less work for the gm)

second of all the mechanics are like... made for failure. which sounds weird but! it’s very likely given how it works that you will fail, fail often, and fail hard (some ppl joke that fitd games hate you personally). but instead of going ‘that doesn’t work’ and then leaving it up to the gm if they want to do more with it, the game is like, designed to automatically do more with failures. it gives you options, choices to make, deals to take, and consequences to failure that are often far-reaching, but that make things much more interesting than it just not working. so you don’t win! you don’t always win!! but it’s far more engaging roleplay-wise than if you had actually!!

this is not to say you can’t succeed at things; you can, and it gets easier as you level up, altho then challenges get harder. but i like that it makes failure actually engaging and into something that changes the game.

which, to be fair, a rly good gm can and should be doing with other games too; like a common thing that happens in d&d is you fail at something and keep trying, bcos there are no immediate consequences to the failure besides it not working. eg, you try to pick a lock, and you can’t, so you try again until you do. that’s the basic built-in mechanic. a good dm will say,for example ok, you tried to pick the lock, now you’ve taken too long and there are guards. or you tried to pick the lock and triggered a trap and now you have to deal with that. but when d&d talks about failure in the most basic rulebooks it doesn’t address consequences to move the story forward. but fitd specifically says that failures are not just misses; something has to HAPPEN to change the situation.

two things i particularly love are the devil’s bargain and the stress/trauma mechanics.

devil’s bargain is that if you want more dice to roll your gm will offer you a bigger risk/reward scenario. using the lockpicking example from earlier, let’s say you want another die to help you. so the gm says you can have another die, but IF you fail with the extra die, the consequences for failure will be worse. and they’ll give you a specific consequence; maybe armed guards will show up instead of unarmed people, maybe someone in your party will get injured, whatever seems appropriate to the situation. and then ofc you have the chance to say no... but i do love a bigger gamble.

stress & trauma as a mechanic are just *chef’s kiss*. doing certain things (some actions to improve your situation, actively resisting consequences, continuing to move & fight when you’re badly hurt) will give you stress. too much stress and you’re removed from the scene bcos you’re in too bad condition, but when you come back you have trauma. you’ve taken on too much, and now your character has a significant, permanent impact on their personality. you get to choose which one, and you get to decide how often to roleplay it, but that’s a permanent consequence of the stuff your character has gone through.

which is some heavy stuff, it rly is! but it’s also just really good game mechanics.

(other things i like: dice pools, bcos i love a dice pool; min/maxing of stats bcos i think that’s more fun to roleplay; the idea of flashbacks, where you can say ‘ok i did this thing before that will help me out now’ and you get to play it out and roll for it retroactively, which is just super neat)

...i could talk a lot abt fitd games but like. listen? i love them. i don’t get to play them much (maybe soon... s&v group...) but just being aware of the mechanics has also made me better at gming for other games (...d&d, which is still the main one i play bcos it’s more well-known and easier to get a group together for), largely bcos it’s so damn good at handling failure.

[solopeppermint]

1-99

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

End of the day (cos it’s my ringtone/alarm heh), Despacito (cos it’s playing everywhere), Perfect, Happier, Two Ghosts, MMITH

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

H!!

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

I only have notebooks on my table. pg 23 line 17 is blank haha

4: What do you think about most?

hm I think food

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

Nak withdraw duit.

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

depends on the weather? but usually with. unless really cannot tahan one

7: What’s your strangest talent?

er speed reading? 

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls DONT LIKE BOYS GIRLS LIKE CARS AND MONEHHH

Boys WILL LAUGH AT GIRLS WHEN THEY’RE NOT FUNNEHHH

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

nope

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

prolly listening to Kiwi i think. 

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

er phobia towards taugeh

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

my finger? haha

13: What’s your religion?

muslim

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

people watching. counting vezels. thinking of my bed.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind cos i awkward turtle

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

ONE on hiatus DIRECTION

17: What was the last lie you told?

later can do.

18: Do you believe in karma?

the concept of it yeah

19: What does your URL mean?

smiley... sharks...

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

being anti social

i think i am a good listening ear to my closest friends :’)

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

H. H. H.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

noo

23: How do you vent your anger?

going for a loong run

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

books. friends & tbbt dvds

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

ok with both

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

meh 

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

kids crying

the voice of my loved ones

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if i cannot do this

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

nope

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

bedside table

pillow

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

air lol

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?’

can’t think of any rn

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

local context,

WEST COAST cos got KTGM FAVVV

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

H *heartshape eyes emoji*

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

life.....is a journey haha shit idk

36: Define Art.

one’s creativity

37: Do you believe in luck?

nope

everything happens for a reason ;)

38: What’s the weather like right now?

HOT HUMID

39: What time is it?

8.30PM

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

No. Cos scared run people over. or animals.

41: What was the last book you read?

Love & Happiness

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

YES. I LOVE FOLLOWING PEOPLE TO ISI MINYAK, 

(That’s gasoline right? lolol)

43: Do you have any nicknames?

yees

44: What was the last film you saw?

at the movies - FF8

online - boss baby

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

just minor scraps here and there never anythg serious thank god

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

nope

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

no?

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

ah straight?

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

no i guess?

50: Do you believe in magic?

nope

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

try not to. 

but we’re onlyyyy huumaaaaaaan

52: What is your astrological sign?

Sagittarius

53: Do you save money or spend it?

well both

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

yoghurt for sahur

55: Love or lust?

love

56: In a relationship?

haha yes no maybe i dont knooooow

57: How many relationships have you had?

um 3

but seeerious, one

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no :(

59: Where were you yesterday?

at work. then tampines TO BUY FOOD

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yess my pillow!

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

nope

62: What’s your favourite animal?

SHARKS. BASKING SHARKS

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

don’t NEED any1 to like me bye

64: Where is your best friend?

don’t really have one

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

prolly all H update/related ones.

66: What is your heritage?

err? malay? javanese?

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

sleeping. cos i old lady liao hahaha

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

setan gondol

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

err

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i would think so 

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

but i cannot touch dogs.......................

ok la shout for help and let someone else save it/touch it

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. 

a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? 

no

b) What do you do with your remaining days? 

be a better muslim

tie up lose ends, so to speak

c) Would you be afraid?

after trying my best to be better, no i guess?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust. 

bcos what’s love without trust?

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

ANYTHING FRM 1D OK DUH

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

0000

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

when two people trust each other 

and are honest with each other

and are best friends above all

77: How can I win your heart?

be funny. but not the offensive kind.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

I guess

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

deciding on pursuing my line of work

80: What size shoes do you wear?

36

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

see you soon

82: What is your favourite word?

does HAHA count?

yes. (bcos I cannot say no one)

if at work it is silent clap. hahhaa ok that’s 2 words

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

H’s anatomical heart tattoo

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

everything happens for a reason

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

night changes

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

yellow. and turquoise. and black 

87: What is your current desktop picture?

lyrics frm SOTT

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

noone. tak baik tu. macam equivalent to bunuh orang

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

do i look fat?

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

take a selfie with them and go back to sleep hahaha

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

teleporting.

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

OTRASG 

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

none. everything ‘bad’ that ever happened taught me something, one way or another 

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

sleep like innocent one ok. cuddle cuddle hahaha 

you guess ah who

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Bosnia, Sarajevo

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

nope

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

when I was little i guess yeah like we were on a road trip or smetg

98: Ever been on a plane?

yeah

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

where is the loveee? So many bad things are happening everywhere.

always remember that He is watching. Whatever you do to others, you will be held accountable for it.

and to the people suffering at their hands, stay strong and have faith that He is the best of all planners. This world is only temporary :’)

[equalseleventhirds]

okay let’s see how coherent i can be, i’m very tired so maybe not super coherent but i will try

herein follows way too much overthinking and theorizing about hanataba’s treatment in conjunction with longrunning themes throughout the juno steel stories about denying/accepting the past and. stuff.

mostly my assumptions are not supported by actual evidence, just by vague recurring subtext and extrapolation of every other patient based on juno, so pretty much just a bunch of bullshit, but i’m having fun?

brown jacket says that he chooses to believe that each patient experiences the operation as a story with a task they must succeed at. i believe this is true, but i also believe there is additional element: patients choose their own tasks, and i think that choice determines if they even can succeed

because nobody tells juno that he has to solve the case; he comes up with that himself. he could have decided that he was supposed to save ben the way jacket’s friend was supposed to save his childhood barn (and tbh my brain probably would’ve gone there if i was in juno’s situation, bcos c’mon bro literary parallels)

now we don’t know a lot about the others, but we do know that the failed task was for jacket’s friend to save his childhood barn. it’s certainly possible that the barn never burned down in real life and it was all fabricated for no reason, but jacket mentions that his friend experienced the cybernetic’s ‘roots’ through smells, and the smells he mentions are later linked to the childhood barn and its destruction. the roots were clearly related to memory, so i believe his friend’s operation-dream-thingy was based on reliving an actual memory

doing a big assumption again, i believe that, like juno, he must have decided what his task was on his own. he saw (or smelled) the barn burning, like it did in the past, and came to the conclusion that he needed to save it this time. and he failed.

now, this might not be a big thing, except that multiple times throughout the juno steel adventures we are told that you cannot change or deny the past, and trying to will fuck you up and possibly get you killed

because we have ingrid, who refuses to accept that vicky has moved on. we have engstrom, who can’t let go of the train he never managed to rob. we have miasma, who is so convinced that the ancient martian past was this amazing ideal society, and who is so wrong about that. we have the d’arcs and pilot, who go mad and die trying to deny that they couldn’t create the free dome. we even have vega, still caught up in what he did to sarah steel, unwilling to even move on with the case until he can apologize to the kid who doesn’t even know what he’s talking about.

and we have sasha, who lets go of her sister even without closure because she wants her friends to stay alive. peter, who acknowledges his past but lets it go so he can live. even the characters who get their pasts back have to first let go: buddy tells vespa that they are different people now and if they move forward it must be as the new people they are, and alessandra, even with her newly-returned fiancee, is stubbornly focused on surviving and moving forward with her, not dwelling on their past (alessandra also moves on from juno, which like, props for that babe)

and then there is ramses, who is all tied up in history. not his own, since he only appeared thirty years ago, but he works pretty hard to evoke history in other people: juno, most clearly, by bringing him to his childhood neighborhood, and then by bringing up northstar memories, but also hyperion in general. when ramses is first introduced he has a whole spiel about hyperion city, its past, what it was supposed to be like, and how he’s going to bring those ideals back (even tho judging purely by human history, the city never met those ideals in the first place) (and also trying to turn back time in hyperion? not gonna fcuking happen my dude. unrealistic campaign promises.)

and now we have juno, who is tormented by his past and often refuses to deal with it properly, dwells on his mistakes and makes the same mistakes over and over because he’s still stuck on the old ones and he doesn’t know how to change. we know this about him (and it’s immensely frustrating to people like sasha and alessandra)

but today, told he has to complete some unknown task, confronted by his trauma in a dream space where, theoretically, he can make different choices? instead of deciding that he wants to change what went wrong, juno decides he has to understand it. and that’s why he’s going to succeed.