#now i can't look at jesse's baby blues without fucking sobbing up a storm
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i want to expand on this post just cause i can.
so much of gus and jesseās relationship is played as an affair. this is only because it makes waltās anger about their dynamic feel more jilted, like a lover. when he confronts jesse about the two of them having dinner he uses language an excusatory husband would use if he caught his spouse cheating such as ātell me you werenāt as his house last night?ā itās very clearly written as jesse being disloyal to walt and their partnership. now the audience knows thatās just simply not true with jesse literally saying āif you kill mr. white, youāre going to have to kill me tooā when he thinks gus is suggesting killing him. heās devoted to mr. white throughly. even when heās being shoved into these new situations by mike and gus, thereās never a moment where he thinks about abandoning him. heās still in the back of his mind through everything, and every character knows this except for walt. thatās what makes most of the build-up leading to gusās death so ironic. to walt, gus is the other woman who needs to be killed for fraternizing with whatāsĀ āhisā. in reality, itās his own brutality and sadistic behavior that is putting a wedge between him and jesse.Ā
itās very reminiscent of walt finding out about skylerās affair with ted. he lashes out and throws a tantrum but he never stops for a second and asks why it happened. he never comes to the conclusion that his actions are whatās driving skyler into anotherās arms. he plots to get revenge on ted, but itās never more serious than toxic masculine how-dare-you-sleep-with-my-wife bullshit. he wants to kill him, i donāt doubt that, but he canāt. how can he? killing, torturing, and all that depravity belongs in theĀ āheisenbergā part of his life. he cannot touch ted because he is as mundane as the life he is fronting.Ā
now, i will admit, the skyler affair storyline and jesseās so-called adultery are really not that similar at all. like i said, jesse is not betraying anyone--he is still fiercely dedicated to mr. white. his unfaithfulness is only interpreted as much by walt himself, and itās waltās delusions drive him away in the first place. skyler cheats as a means of revenge, as a way to take back some autonomy that walt had stripped her of. however, itās the way that walt handles these individual perfidies thatās so captivating to me. when deciding what to do with gus, he immediately decides he needs to kill him. this was his plan prior, but now itās more dire. jesse is gone. he needs to kill two birds with one stone: win back jesse and kill gus. more importantly, he needs to show jesse that him killing gus was something he did for the both of them. so thus he embarks on this convoluted, deplorable, fucked-up scheme. and hey! it works. he successfully manipulates jesse once again, implanting in his brain that no one will have your best interests at heart but me.Ā āgus had to goā and jesse has to agree because this pseudo-son is dying and mr. white is right there and he saved him right? he saved brock and he saved jesse and it doesnāt matter that their love has a body count. their reunion is so impactful because theyāre like magnets in a way. the connection they share is so strong that it doesnāt matter how hard they fight or run away, they will cling to each other once more. but whatās devastating this time around is that jesse doesnāt have a leg to stand on with mr. white anymore. he almost fucking killed him and it turns out the ārealā mastermind was gus all along. so he offers his submission as an apology, when mr. white holds out his hand he takes it because this is how he can say heās sorry. and walt? how could he not fall in love all over again. he has jesse, freshly martyred and in his arms once again.Ā
#i found this in my drafts#tbh i cooked#i miss being able to watch breaking bad without crying#now i can't look at jesse's baby blues without fucking sobbing up a storm#takes me 2 days now to finish one episode#waltjesse#walter white#jesse pinkman#brba#Breaking Bad#Aaron Paul#bryan cranston
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