#now he has a Live Cheryl reaction to his embarrassing crush

[kissmejusttokiss]

So we’ve talked before about Cheryl working at scoops ahoy (she doesn’t even have to be hired I think she’s turn up daily just to hang with her bestie) but have we considered that her sailor uniform would be red instead of blue. (She has it custom made.)

[the-swedes-knees]

Human Resources - The Swedes x Reader

Did I make a tumblr just to post a birthday present for @jossambird? Yes, yes I did.

Rating: Everyone 

Pairing: Reader/Swede(pick your favorite)

It had started like any other work day at the Temps Commission. The case management room was silent aside from the rapid clicking of typewriter keys and the rustling of papers as employees cross checked their historical references. You were just another cog in the machine, expected to work efficiently and follow every rule in the handbook down to the letter.

Which is why it was a surprise when your supervisor placed the summons to HR on your desk.

"Cheryl." You greeted the HR representative coldly as you entered the meeting room. She glared at you as you went to take a seat, not even bothering to say your name. There wasn't a clear reason why she had been gunning for you the past few months but you suspected that it had something to do with the last company Christmas party. Or rather the point in the Christmas party when she had become dangerously intoxicated and you had walked her back to her living quarters instead of letting her fulfill her desires of making thinly veiled sexual innuendos to coworkers.

One might assume that kind of story would lead to a friendship, or at least a funny story to laugh about together...  

"Do you know why you're here?" But apparently Cheryl didn't think so. When you crossed your arms and shook your head no she let out a catty hiss of disapproval. "Well this shouldn't be a shock, but I've opened up a sexual harassment investigation against you."

Your face hardened and your eyes shot to the folder that was placed in front of you, identical to the one infront of her and three more like it on the opposite side of the table.

"That can't be right... who - " The end of your question died on your lips as the three temporal assassins entered the room and sat down at the table across from you. Almost in perfect unison the three tall Swedish men regarded your presence before turning their attention to the woman at the head of the table.

Axel, Otto, and Oscar. More commonly referred to as simply The Swedes. You had handled a fair number of their cases in your career, and they were certainly some of the best the Commission had to offer. They were all handsome in their own right. Strong, stoic, and silent... but you had only admired them from afar, just sparing glances in passing through the massive building complex.

You weren't sure what drew you to them, like a moth to a flame. But just those sparing glances had ruined any other romantic prospects for you.

"Thank you for coming. I'm aware how busy the three of you are, but this matter simply demands to be addressed." She said smugly before turning back to you and opening the manila envelope that was placed perfectly perpendicular to her.

"In recent case number A-96353 you wrote an extra message to the Swedes that was not approved by your supervisor. Is this correct?" Cheryl asked your pointedly.

"Yes." You admitted, squaring your shoulders a little bit more as the reality of the current situation began to dawn on you.

"For the record, can you please recount what that message was?" She asked. You took a deep breath and kept your eyes focused on her. There was an evident threat of heat creeping up to your cheeks, but if this was some sort of weird power play, you didn't want to give her the satisfaction.

"I believe I wrote 'good luck boys' on the bottom of their assignment." You admitted in an even tone.

"Is that all?"

"I may have also drawn a small heart." You said through slightly gritted teeth. "I've already received infractions for that offense. It won't happen again."

You turned your body to face the three men, and bowed your head slightly in shame. Even though you had gone through getting slapped on the wrist and mandatory behavioral classes for not following protocol, it wasn't their fault that your attraction to them had led to your immature urge to flirt on the job. Even if the flirt was hardly a flirt, and it was sent via tube with a kill order.

"I apologize, for my unprofessionalism." You said sincerely, beginning to rise from your seat to leave this waste of everyone's time.

"Well there is also the case of these little locker room comments."

"I-I don't know what you're referring to." You froze as she sifted through her folder, placing her pen on the page as she began to read a section of notes verbatim.

"He could punch me in the face and I would thank him for it." She read with as much enthusiasm as a young fast food worker making minimum wage. Your heart throbbed in your chest wildly as you stared at Cheryl in disbelief. "Does that sound familiar?"

"Yes..." You croaked out softly, all moisture seeming to have left your mouth. Your eyes darted to look down at your lap, your fingernails suddenly much more interesting than the three assassins that were openly staring at your from across the table. The sound of rustling papers caught your ears as the men began to read through the reports for themselves, but suddenly you couldn't seen to move a muscle.

There was no telling who had overheard that particular comment from the water cooler, but it was just one comment... If you could shake off this terrible sense of dread and embarrassment you could chalk it up to a simple misunderstanding -

"Time and date 0923845753: I would pay him to crush my pelvis." She continued to read from the file in front of her in a monotone voice. In potentially the dumbest reaction possible your eyes darted across the table and made direct eye contact with Axel as the comment was read. His face was unreadable, but those blue eyes pierced into you so deeply you may has well have died right on the spot.

"Time and date 0202493192: God must be a woman to make men that fine." You decided that there was no God, if there was then he or she or whatever omnipotent being they were would have pity on your soul and allow your body to combust into flames instead of sitting there.

"Time and date 0221527010: He can break all two-hundred and seven of my bones." There was no blood left in your face, you were sure of it. It pulsed rapidly and loudly through your thudding heart and directly into your ears. Your brain couldn't pick between being embarrassed or downright mortified, a violent chill settling into your bones as the startling realization settled over you... this was the end... your life was over... just because you found the three men a few feet away from you devilishly handsome and you couldn't keep your damn horny mouth shut.

"Time and date 0940251637: I would let him step on my throat."

"Oh that one was actually-" You held up a finger to correct that that particular comment was made by your friend in payroll whom which you shared a similar horny braincell, but quickly decided against it. "You know what, I'll take responsibility for all of them... there's really no need to keep reading."

"For the case of this investigations, were all of these inappropriate comments directed at an individual or a collective?"

"It was, it was um... all. All of them."

"Any one of these comments could be classified as a serious offense, and you are in clear violation of several company policies." Her words barely registered in the haze that set in around you. This was it, your life was ruined... you were dead, and this was hell, it had to be... "And if they agree to follow through, I can have you fired by-"

The sound of metal screeching as Axel stood up from his seat silenced the HR representative. All three brothers shared a quick look before Otto and Oscar stood as well, tossing the files that had been placed before them back onto the table sloppily. Otto's eyes were glued to yours as Axel slightly shook his head at the woman at the end of the table.

"Byråkratisk skitsnack." He sneered before walking past you to leave the room. You had no idea what it meant, but from the offended gasping noise Cheryl made, you were sure she did. The other two men followed their brother shortly after, Oscar making teasing kissing faces at you as he exited through the door.

What just happened?

Both you and HR sat in a moment of stunned silence, obviously this meeting hadn't gone the way either of you expected. With the Swedes gone, you found the courage and sense of self determination to look at the woman again. You raised an eyebrow and looked behind you at the doorway, silently asking if this meant you could leave.

"One more slip up and I'll file for your termination, clear?" As much as you wanted to think of a snappy comeback to the woman who had just lost all the power she wrongly thought she had, your flight or fight response was still in full gear and you suddenly forgot all that was the English language. All you did was bite your bottom lip and nod before slowly rising from the chair and returning back to work.

Curious coworkers asked throughout the day if you were alright, the sense of dread still clawing at your heart at the utter humiliation that you had received... but there was no one to blame but yourself, you probably got what you deserved for making such comments in a professional environment. You briefly considered taking a vow of silence, never to speak again in penance for your sins.

The vow ended rather quickly after Dot offered you treats from her candy stash in an attempt to lighten your mood.

Everything will go back to normal, just don't think about them... ever again... You obsessively chanted to yourself while staring blankly at the copier and munching on your third candy bar. The mechanical machine whirred loudly as it spit out page after page of references that were needed for your current case. It was so loud, in fact, that you weren't aware that another person had entered the room until you felt a sharp pinch on your ass.

You suppressed the urge to scream as you jumped back, mind now alert as you whipped around to see the culprit.

Now standing a few feet away was one of the very same men with platinum blond hair that you were trying so actively to purge out of your mind. You had never admitted it to anyone else out loud, but secretly you did favor one brother more than the others... the slight mannerisms and the way that he held himself causing many obsessive dreams on lonely nights.

And here he was... alone... the closest he has ever been.

"Hi." You greeted dumbly, not even confident enough to say his name. Your eyes flickered from the ground back to his face before holding out your chocolate. "Kit-kat?"

His face remained neutral as he reached out and broke off a section from the bar, eyeing you up and down more properly than before.

"You know my name." He remarked before biting the chocolate wafer in half and slightly gestured his chin towards you. "Yours?"

You told him, a bit surprised that he didn't seem to know it after that disaster of a confrontation. Had he not read through the accusations? Or if you were such an unnoteworthy person to him, why was he here... talking to you?

He's going to kill you, you pervert.

"Do you eat?" Just as you were preparing to plea pathetically for your life, you were instead caught completely offguard. Confusion overtook you as your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to understand the question.

"Eat? You mean like... eat food?" You asked slowly, mind going completely blank as you watched him pop the rest of the wafer in his mouth and chew slowly. Even with something so small, your knees were going weak at the close proximity. You shook your head gently to refocus, dangerous thoughts like these were what got you into trouble in the first place. "Um, I guess? Yes?"

"Good. Six o'clock, pervers." He declared firmly with a stony expression before turning to walk away. Unintelligent noises of sputtering and half words left your mouth as you moved to walk with him, keeping a bit of a distance as you held your copies tightly against your chest.

"Six o'clock what?"

"You eat dinner, with me. Or I step on your neck, your choice." He said casually, eyes keeping straight ahead as he spoke... almost ignoring that you were even there.

"What? Where? Why?" Even though you were trying to whisper as you paced through the hall, your voice was rising in octaves as each question left your lips with little filter. He stopped his long stride abruptly, inadvertently causing you to flinch as he turned back to look at you. The slightest ghost of a smile toyed at his lips as he stared you down like a hunter with eyes on its game. You remained as still as humanly possible as he leaned down to speak in your ear.

"I will find you."

You watched him turn around once again and strut down the hallway like a man on a mission while you stood there, mouth gaping like a goldfish. He was coming for you, that much was certain... There was no where or time that you could possibly hide from the not-so-secret item of your affection.

Should you be horny or terrified?

Both. You decided. Both sounded good.

[bughead-fic-request]

Seven Minutes in Purgatory: with your enemy who you have slight sexual tension and you figure out if you are going to fight or make out

Seven Minutes in Heaven

Summary: Betty finds herself playing a round of seven minutes in heaven after lying about her crush for years.

Words: 2,102

Warnings: A really tasteless joke about Sylvia Plath, spoilers for the graphic novel The Watchmen, kissing and fluff

A/N: Sorry nonnie, this isn’t a fighting kind of fic. This feels like it could be an AU outtake from The Stacks. I’m also experimenting with a clean cut version of Jughead. This isn’t the best, I’m not happy with the ending but I’m working shit out and I also edited this myself so there is probably errors. 

Betty Cooper did not want to be in Archie Andrews basement playing seven minutes in heaven. She felt like she was too old for this silly game. They were seniors in high school, most of them were already having sex, a little kissing was nothing.

But Betty was not like most of her senior classmates. She knew that kissing whoever she had to kiss that night would be a very big deal considering there was only one person in that circle she really wanted to kiss.

She had done a good job of hiding her feelings for the past three and a half years. At any sleepover she found herself at she always admitted to having a big fat crush on Archie; the gorgeous, red-headed quarterback that took every girls breath away. It was common knowledge that Betty was into Archie. Quiet, kind, blonde Betty Cooper loved the hottest guy in school. It was a joke and Betty was fine with that just as long as no one knew who she truly pined for.

Archie loved to tease Betty about it and he loved the way her gaze made him feel. Betty may not have been popular but she was beautiful. The type of girl all the guys ignored but everyone secretly had wet dreams about. Archie loved flaunting himself in front of her. He liked stringing her along, making her squirm, making her sweat whenever he was near.

But Betty was a very good liar.

She knew what the girls at her school were like; they were cruel and would tease, taunt and torture her about her crush. So Betty had to hide the truth, make something up to get them off her back but the truth was she had no interest in Archie.

Her real crush was the raven haired best friend of said quarterback, Jughead Jones.

Archie and Jughead’s friendship made no sense. Jughead didn’t play sports, he wasn’t vulgar, he wasn’t obnoxious but instead was a straight A student like Betty. He was the head editor for the school newspaper, head of the debate team and student body president. He also volunteered at an animal shelter part time.

Ever since his father, Forsythe Pendleton, turned his troubled life around and became mayor of Riverdale, Jughead had a dream of becoming the president. He had a knockout smile, dressed well and had a magnetic charisma. It was probably the reason Archie and he got along so well. People were drawn to both of them but for very different reasons.

Betty’s crush on Jughead didn’t come out of no where. She always noticed how handsome he was but had no reason to ever speak to him. Not until one afternoon she saw him at the Riverdale Public Library.

It was the beginning of their sophomore year, he was sitting at the same table as her on the opposite side and at the other end. Betty had finished her homework a while ago and was reading for pleasure.

Jughead was reading The Watchmen. He was hunched over the book, his arms straining against his dress shirt. He had been working out with Archie and it was starting to show. His hair had fallen out of place and it bobbed in front of his face while he took in the material.

“Are you liking that?” Betty asked, finally gaining the courage to do so.

Jughead startled and looked at Betty with wide eyes. “What?” He replied.

“Are you liking The Watchmen?” She asked again clarifying .

Jughead flashed a dazzling smile. “Um,” he ran his hand through his hair pushing it all back into place. “I like it but I think I’m too much of an optimist to identify with it. I think there are other ways to unite us and make the world better.” His smile grew. “It’s still really interesting though.”

“I wish I could be as optimistic as you. I think Moore’s right, we won’t stop trying to kill each other until there is a threat bigger than each other.” Betty looked away from him and wished the creeping flush in her cheeks would go away.  

“What are you reading?” He asked move down a chair.

A giggle escaped Betty’s lips. “The Bell Jar.” She looked over at him and laughed.

“I hear that Sylvia Plath has a very sunny disposition.” Jughead joked.

“Yeah but just don’t leave her alone in the kitchen.” Betty immediately made a noise of disgust and her whole body flinched at her stupid joke. “That’s so offensive. I don’t know why I said that.” She shook her head bringing her hand to her cheek to soothe her embarrassment.

He laughed. “I’m Jughead Jones.” He said holding out his hand to her moving down to sit across from her.

“I know.” She grinned. “I’m Betty Cooper.” She took his hand in hers.

“I know, you are the only person who has a better grade point average than me. If it wasn’t for you I’d be at home in my hot tub with all the honeys.” He made the same face of disgust Betty had made earlier. “I don’t have any honeys. Women aren’t objects. I’m sorry.” He looked away from her his cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink.

Betty laughed and that’s where their friendship began. They didn’t really acknowledge each other at school and Betty tried to ignore all the girls that flirted with him. She tried to not to feel hurt when he took other girls to dances and she never asked him about the only girlfriend he ever had, Ethyl Muggs. She couldn’t be jealous; she spent years in silence when she could have easily said something.

They carried on their library friendship, helping each other with homework, exchanging favorite books and eventually talking about their other likes and personal lives.

“You know I can help you with Archie, you know that right?” Jughead told her as they looked for a book the librarian swore they had.

“I know,” she rolled her eyes. “You’ve offered many times.”

“I know but it must suck pining over someone for years and nothing ever happening.” He told her pulling out a book to look at its cover and putting it back.

“It’s okay, I’m not really interested in Archie anymore. I got over it.” She crouched down and raised a book up to him with an interesting cover. “Have you read this?” She asked.

Jughead shook his head. “So you’re just over him, just like that?” He questioned.

“Well, if I’m being honest, I never liked him. I just said that to get Veronica and her ghouls off my back.” Betty stood up and threw her arms up in frustration. “It’s not here.” She placed her hands on her hips.

“So you’ve had no crushes all through high school?” Jughead took a step towards her pushing up the sleeves of his shirt.

“I didn’t say that.” Betty glared at him.

“Do I know him?” He teased with a cocked eyebrow.

“You don’t not know him.” Betty tried to walk past him but he caught her by the wrist.

“Who is it Betty?” He interrogated.

She could feel her cheeks start to grow hot. “It doesn’t matter, it’s not a big deal.” She shook her head.

“Is it me?” He joked poking her in the side.

Betty looked away from him and her entire face went red.

Jughead read her reaction and his demeanour changed. “Is it me?”

Betty shifted uncomfortably in the aisle trying to break away from him. “Jug, please. It’s not,” she sighed. “I’ve dealt with it for this long, I know you’re not into me. Its fine.” She smoothed out her ponytail still not looking at him.

“Bets.” He whispered, wrapping his arm around her waist pulling her flush against him.

She finally looked at him with confusion in her eyes as she tried to understand what he was doing.

He took in the look on her face and leaned in, his lips lightly brushing against hers.

“I found it!” The librarian, Mrs. Downey, exclaimed coming around the corner.

Betty and Jughead stepped away from each other awkwardly rubbing the back of their necks. “Thanks so much, Mrs. Downey.” Jughead took a step forward and grabbed the book from her as Betty fled, gathering her things and leaving the library as fast as she could.

That was a week ago and now Jughead was sitting across from her while Veronica Lodge taunted her, encouraging her to spin the bottle.

With a sigh Betty leaned forward and spun the bottle praying that it would land on anyone other than Archie. Seven minutes alone with Cheryl Blossom would be better than her arrogant pretend crush.

Betty closed her eyes and took a swig of her beer regretting to agree to come, regretting to agree to play the game. She heard the bottle stop and Archie laughed.

“Sorry Betty, these lips are going to have to elude you for another round. My boy Jug is just gonna have to do.” Archie teased.

Betty opened her eyes and looked up to see Jughead making his way across the circle, his hand outstretched to her. “Lets go.” He said motioning his head towards the old wood panelled closet in the 70’s styled basement.

Betty took his hand and headed over to the closet handing her half finished Corona to Veronica.  Jughead ushered her in before him and closed the door.

They stared at each other in the faint glow of the low watt bulb that swung overhead. They both took deep breaths, the tension between them palpable.

“Hi.” Betty said.

“Hi.” Jughead replied as he took a step towards her, staggering for just a moment before he pushed her against the wall, his lean, warm, muscular body pressing against hers as their lips met.

Betty breathed the kiss in, her palms flat against the wall as his hands rested on her hips, his thumbs sneaking under her shirt rubbing small circles into the bare skin there. He tasted like the rum he had been drinking and he smelled like the Old Spice body wash he had been using since they met.

Jughead broke the kiss, catching his breath and resting his forehead against hers. “I have wanted to do that for so long.” He smiled.

“For the whole week you’ve known I liked you?” Betty joked.

He looked at her. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since you told that stupid Sylvia Plath joke all those years ago.” He admitted.

“What about Ethyl? What about the girls you’ve dated?” She asked trying to catch her breath.

“As much as I wish I hadn’t done this, I dated them to dull my want for you. It never worked, that’s why none of my relationships worked out.” He admitted.

Betty’s eyes went wide. “Why didn’t you say anything?” He questioned.

“Because I thought you were into Archie.” He shrugged.

Her head fell back and she let out a growl of frustration. “I gotta worse at lying.” She reprimanded herself. She righted herself and looked at him again, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him toward her.

They kissed, his lips were slightly chapped from the cold weather but still felt perfect against hers. Their hands roamed over each other’s bodies innocently as the realization that this was finally happening set in for both of them. He pushed himself closer to her, nudging her knees apart with his own, edging closer to a spot where no other person had ever touched her.

“Jug, I’m a - I mean I haven’t.” Betty began to stutter.

Jughead couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his lips. “Betty, we have like 45 seconds left in this closet, that’s not enough time to do that.”

Betty’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Cheryl said it only takes about 30 seconds.”

“Well, I feel bad for Cheryl cause she’s been having some terrible sex.” He joked.

“And you’re not a-“ Betty trailed off.

Jughead shook his head. “No, Ethyl.”

Betty nodded and tilted her face back up to kiss him just as the door flew open and Archie, Veronica and Cheryl stood at the threshold.

Betty and Jughead looked over at them slowly, still embraced. “Hey guys, what’s up?” Jughead said.

“What the fuck bro? She’s into me!” Archie exclaimed.

“I’m really not.” Betty told him. “Sorry bro.” She added with a wink.

Jughead grinned. “If you guys could give us another seven minutes that would be great.” He said leaning over to close the door and he and Betty picked up were they left off.