#now I won't be able to sleep
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Dealing with a flooded apartment while home alone was absolutely not on my to do list today lol
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why am i a completionist
#bioshock#bioshock 1#wanted to open up the basement area in poseidon plaza#now i won't be able to sleep#those game devs made a really good horror game#my screenshots
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DS9 "The Begotten"
The main story of this season 5 episode is - Odo gets his shapeshifting powers back, after the Founders took them away in season 4's finale "Broken Link."
So this is what they did to make this happen.
Quark sells Odo a baby Changeling they'd only just discovered. Odo realises he's going to have to do some parenting. There are arguments with Dr Mora Pel, the Bajoran scientist who tortured Baby Odo when the latter was just a gravy stain on a lab bench.
The Baby Changeling begins to learn ... then they start dying, and Odo can't save it. It dies, but it restores Odo's morphogenic matrix, and Odo becomes a blob again.
Only ...
Well, two things. One, they did not have Section 31 just yet.
And two ... they did not have the morphogenic virus story yet - that was to come in season 7.
However ...
During season 7, when they revealed the existence of the virus, they pinpointed the exact date when Odo had been infected.
The date, in season 4, when Odo had visited Earth.
Which meant that Odo had been a carrier of the virus during "The Begotten" in season 5.
And Odo had passed on the morphogenic virus to the dying baby Changeling.
He'd unwittingly killed the closest thing to his own child.
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I can't fucking live in this place much longer.
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I'm on a level of tiredness that is about to send me into orbit
#I'M SO EXHAUSTED HELP#I COULDN'T EVEN NAP EARLIER BUT I CAN'T NAP NOW OR ELSE I WON'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP TONIGHT#AHHHHH#naff nuh huh#i have to do something but concentrating is so hard
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I hate Thoma from Tokyo debunker
Don't know why but I just hate him not as much as I hate leo but you get it and I needed to get it off my chest
That's it
Thank you for reading my bullshit
Unfortunately, I am in love with him TᴖT I want him so bad it is unfunny, pathetic even. He would laugh, degrade me, and I would fall further because I find that hot for reasons I might want to bring up with my therapist.
I have mentioned I think Tohma might have someone outside of Darkwick he is trying to work towards a better world for. I like to think it's a sibling, maybe a younger sister because I have been reading Tokyo Revengers again- idk I just know he's got some softness in there. He likes taking walks in nature and that's the one thing we know about him. I want to give him flowers-
I am so sorry anon please forgive me for simping
#<3 asks#tokyo debunker#tdb#tohma ishibashi#because i make everything about future kid aus i had this stupid idea of like#mc who has a kid from a hook up w delinquent tohma but when he became a ghoul darkwick erased her memories#so like tohma has to sit and seethe over how the matches don't work on her now but did back when he was ruining his life#he has questions he can't ask#he has to watch rui and haku hit on his child's mom and he's not able to do anything about it#... and then someone shows up and starts messing with ghouls missions trying to protect the mc#idk i need to go back to sleep#(to be clear that's not what i had in mind for the actual au I'm working on it was just a lame idea i won't do anything with)#(idk i just like love triangles with tohma i think he works well with them)
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didn't like any of the other sketches i did for tonight's ep so i hope a tiny sleepy gene will suffice
#bob's burgers#gene belcher#i won't be able to watch this (or any future eps) live bc i have “uni” and “responsibilities” that i have to be up early for#my timetable changed so now i have tuesdays off and not mondays absolute joke i tell u#me when i can't stay up til 2am to watch funny cartoon and am instead an adult and therefore must act like one (boo 👎👎)#I'M SUPER EXCITED TO SEE ALL OF GENE'S COSTUMES THO it looks like the character designs had a lot of fun w this ep based on the promo image#AND MR AMBROSE i'm so sad i can't see this live but i'm a whole baby and need like 10hr of sleep to function so zzzz#my stuff
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i officially resigned today :')
#i still have to work there bc i've got a one-month notice period. but i did it!!!#the conversation with my boss went well! she was really nice and supportive#she said she was worried about me bc she could tell i was struggling. and that she understands my decision#and in case i won't find a new job this month they can extend my contract#i cried a lot 😭#and now i'm terrified and sad bc i really love some of my coworkers and i don't want to leave them#but at the same time i'm SO relieved. i feel like i will be able to sleep well tonight. for the first time in weeks#k.txt#also sorry guys i've been mia. and sorry for not answerings your messages#but between working full time searching for a new job doing final assignments for uni and crying. i honestly don't have any energy left#i only logged in to tell you the big news :') and now i'm back to my assignment :( see ya in a week when my exam hell is over
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#waiting to start not one but TWO immunosupressants and knowing exactly what date it's going to happen is so weird#because there's a deadline on your immune system now#and i spend most of the time not really thinking about it and then out of nowhere I'll be like#oh yeah#in just under two weeks I won't have my good immune system anymore#i wont be able to rely on it as i always have because it won't be there#and i know Exactly when it's going to happen#it's. in all honestly it feels bizarrely like being at the vets when sobi was put to sleep#it was the right thing to do it was the right time to so it and i knew it was coming#we need to do this so my immune system doesn't keep eating my intestines in its fervour#it's the right thing to do it's the right time to do it it's needed and necessary but I'm grieving all the same#yes okay maybe it's stupid to equate starting immunosuppressants with my pet dying#maybe im being overdramatic about all this#ive had people tell me it probably wont be that bad it'll probably just give me a normal system j shoudl stop stressing about all this#i should stop feeling so sad about all this#and that doesn't help one fucking bit#i do feel sad about this. i feel very sad about this. i am experiencing grief about this#dont tell me to make my emotions smaller#the nurse said i would could as high risk. that i will need to avoid people who even just have colds#this is not a small change. this is me losing something i have relied on for my entire life#something i have taken a stupid pride in for my entire life#and it feels just like being at the vets. gently stroking sobi's head as he died#putting him to sleep. putting my immune system to sleep. telling it did well#it'll come back one day i know (i hope) but for now it has a deadline#crunchy rambles
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#I just think it's ironic how I spent so much time thinking about leaving this country. but the moment I said: hey maybe I could make it work#if I find a good job and income maybe I could make it work. because I don't /want/ to leave#because this is my home and I know I won't be able to find myself anywhere. the MOMENT I decided to stay here and fight for my own future#and MAYBE be able to get my own place and just be at peace... THE MOMENT I decided that#things went to hell. and now ALL I think about 24/7 is where am I going to go? what should I do to leave? how much will it cost?#where do I begin?#and I'm lost and I feel like I'm trapped and running out of time because I don't know what's going to happen#and for the first time in a while I'm feeling /desperate/#it's like I'm grieving this country even before leaving it. but also grieving my life here#and the worst thing is that I don't even think I will (leave). I just want to. but I can't (hence the 'trapped' feeling)#I really wish I could go to sleep tonight and wake up in a safe place where I could be happy#my own little place is all I want. I don't even ask for endless fortune or beauty or love or anything#just a way and a place to be#random#personal#my shitty English#ohhhh... to be free to cry. what a dream. instead I have to take deep breaths and keep moving#where to? no idea. but moving it is
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Just me and my hairspray against the bugs i can't reach
#time to start burning my lavender oils#why do i keep finding them in my bedroom when i wanna sleep now i won't be able to sleeeeeeep#i'd sleep on the couch but then my roommate's the huge spider i haven't killed bc it got a mosquito so life is its reward
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woke up at 2 am from weird leg pain that might be thrombosis <3 now I'm at work it still hurts and I'm panicking <3 thinking about going to the ER later but I don't wanna miss work so it'll have to wait until the evening <3 life is full of many such delights <3
#now i'm most likely panicking over nothing#but i also don't wanna die of something very preventable and i have no other explanation for the pain#it might be a nerve issue or something but i won't be able to sleep tonight if I don't get it checked out#but hey on the bright side i got a gynaecologist appointment later this week to get closer to an endometriosis diagnosis#to quote my brother 'Leben ist Leid'#girlblogging
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I wanted to post something coherent to sum up my feelings after Czechia won, but... I'm feeling so many intense feelings at the same time that I can't even put it into words. I'm still shaking. From all the stress, euphoria, crying... This is something I've been waiting for for sooo damn long and now it's finally happening.
I just wanna say that I'm very proud of this team. I think it was Radko Gudas in one of his post-game interviews who said that all of them fought together as a team for the coat of arms on the front of the jersey, not individually as the names on the back of their jerseys. And he was absolutely right. It was so obvious. They were getting better and better with each passing game and they absolutely deserved that trophy.
Many people were already hating on this team before the tournament even properly began. They were saying that they don't have a chance to make it through the semifinals. They were saying that Roman Červenka shouldn't wear the C and that he shouldn't even be on the national team because he doesn't deserve it.
But despite everything they made it.
THEY ARE WORLD CHAMPIONS ❤️
#i'm not making any sense i guess#but i'm so damn happy#i won't even be able to go to sleep now#czechia#iihf worlds 2024#hockey
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Natsume: You didn't sleep a wink last night. Why not go and grab a few now? Natori [sparkling]: I'm just fine. It takes more than sleep deprivation to dull my dazzling self, so don't you worry your fussy little head. Natsume [concerned]: Nonsense like that is exactly what someone suffering from sleep deprivation would say! Sensei: Oh really? Has he been sleep-deprived every day of his life?
so i've been watching the natsume dub -
#sensei referring to matoba as the 'pirate-princess-tightrope-walker'????? PLSSSS#sensei to natsume about matoba: your wussy little punches won't do jack#also yes sensei he probably has been sleep-deprived every day of his life. this man is a dumpster fire#thanks to qserasera (thank you qserasera!!!) i've been revisiting the natori and matoba episodes#i had started a rewatch earlier this year but got sidetracked early in season 2 so i'm picking up from there#so to refresh my memory i read through the episode summaries i had written for season 1/early season 2#and got SO EMOTIONAL??? just from reading the summaries? what the fuck???#me earlier today: i can't reread le petit prince right now because my heart can't take it#also me: tra la la let's see what natsume is going to do to pulverize my soul into powder today#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#natori shuuichi#my posts#anyway i probably would never have tried the dub except that someone put some clips of english dub matoba on here#and i was OBSESSED with the voice acting???#i'm so glad i decided to try it because so many of the line readings are just delightful#natsume and sensei's bickering especially#i don't love madara's youkai voice. and i like the japanese voice playing touko a lot better than the english voice#but it's nice to be able to listen and like do the dishes at the same time! i love subs but you can't really multitask#i guess since this is the dub i should be calling him master not sensei but i'm too used to sensei#i must say though that i'm really enjoying natsume calling him 'master kitty cat' in full earnestness#i don't speak japanese so i wasn't getting the full effect from 'nyanko-sensei'#i get now why tanuma was so embarrassed
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just found out that instead of my mom my fucking shitass dad is coming home FOR A WEEK
#ugh i really want to kill someone rn im so mad#why can't he just fucking leave us alone#i know he used to be home 24/7/365 days just a year ago but istg it took us no time to adjust to life without him#now he comes home for like 2 days and my blood starts to boil i can't bear him he's so fucking irritating and interfering#mom coming home would have been relaxing finally burden free after 15 days#now the burden will be double tripled he's such a fucking lazy slob he can't even get his own glass of water#and he'll sleep in our room because it has ac UGHHHHHHHJHH it's so yuck i won't have a minute to myself and my mental health will decline#even MORE than it already has like if that's even possible#and he doesn't take his fucking meds so he's all weak and sick and lazy and he expects us to coddle him#well you know what fuck him im not even going to pretend to be happy that he's here or be nice to him and try to make him feel welcome#he broke this family up and it's going to stay broken up forever so fuck himmmm#and i have a freaking 750 ml bottle of vodka lying in my dresser what the fuck do i do with it now huh?????#it's only like 1/4th empty 3/4th is still full#and it's my sisters birthday on 26th and they'll both be here ugh i was sooo looking forward to actually celebrating with her#now she'll feel miserable and horrible and it'll be JUST like every other birthday she's spent at home#fucking grand#ugh god i sooo do not want to cook dinner for 4 people im so sick of this#and he isn't even satisfied with dinner he fucking eats like 4 times a day he wants a hot breakfast and lunch and evening snack and dinner#man i hope something happens to him and he isn't able to come🙏🙏 god if you're real 🙏🙏🙏🙏
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#every once in a while#ever since my dad died#I'll get this awful feeling that I'm never going to be able to be happy again#The way I a did before#But even when he was still here I'd feel this way sometimes#Cause there are so many people I have given so many peices of myself to#Who I don't think I'll ever see again#Cause they moved away#Or went to college while I was still in highschool#Or they stopped homeschooling and went to public school#Or they left the homeschool group I was in#Or life just happened and we lost touch#And now I cant stop thinking about it and I can't sleep because my brain won't stut off#Tho really it's cause I slept for four hours earlier today cause I had a migraine
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