#novellachallengeby8l

[janzzyyboo]

The Sound of Your Voice: Distortion Twenty - Six

#TSOYV

IT’S BEEN A WEEK SINCE ALEX’S CONFESSION about his condition as well as knowing their feelings with one another. Although there’s love among them, they did not really clear out their status. Honestly, their current relationship or some might say friendship was good enough for her. Knowing Alex reciprocated her feelings, it made her happy. Her phone vibrates, and as she opened it, she saw his message. “See you, pumpkin.”

                  Today, Alex will help her in terms of filming for her music video. Going home, Ash rested a bit and fed smokey. She cleaned herself and prepare for things she would bring. Thankfully, she just paid her bills last time and so, she bought foods easy to bring. Ash decided to go at the café just because she likes it.

                  Looking at the mirror, Ash looked at the lady in front of her. With the usual messy bun Ash decided wear a dress. It was a square neck sage floral sunday dress with puff sleeve. The dress was own by her mother. It was a dress her dad gifted to her mom. She caressed the dress, appreciating its beauty because she really values it. With a little tint and powder on her face, Ash picked up her paper bag full of foods and blanket and her small bag and made her way where Alex was.

                  RIDING OFF FROM THE VEHICLE, Ash saw the familiar structure of the café. More plants outside and the atmosphere it gives was really serene. Ash suddenly felt nervous and shy.

                  He’s just going to help me. It’s not like it’s a date. Let’s go. Clenching her hands by holding the paper bag, Ash opened the door. The cold breeze of the air conditioner sent chills to her spine. Seeing Alex with apron while brewing coffees, Ash couldn’t help but think he was so handsome.

                  Meanwhile Alex heard the door chime. A new customer has arrived. He was trying to be quick as he could because he has a schedule with Ash. Brewing the coffee, Alex was about to call her mom to ask for help, but when his eyes settled on the lady standing across the door—he was stunned to see her in the dress. She looked like she was from the medieval era. A lady straight off from a classic book. Alex was still in awe. He couldn’t help stare at her that long when her mother spoke.

                  “Someone’s got struck by the lightning of Aphrodite. Ako na nga dyan ‘nak. Makatitig rin wagas eh.”

                  “Ma, naman. Si Zeus yung lightning eh.”

                  “Ay ganoon ba, sorry na.”

                  “Pero agree ako doon kay Aphrodite.” Alex chuckled.

                  Ash walked herself at the counter, “Good morning.”

                  Alex chuckled in her mind. Seeing Ash get embarrassed was always a sight for him.

                  “Good morning.” Then, he followed, “Ma, ito pala si Ash. She’s a student at The Vinci. She’s a friend. Pupunta kami ngayon sa beach kasi tutulungan ko siya sa music video na project nila.”

                  Linda grinned at his son’s introduction. Friend pala ha. “Ah ganoon ba. Sige. Mag-iingat kayo.”

                  “Good afternoon po, tita.” Ash then, reached out her hand which made Linda taken aback. “Mano po.”

                  Linda let her hold her hand as she put it to touch her forehead. An honouring gesture.

                  “Ay, walang problema. Mag-iingat kayo ng anak ko ha.” Linda replied back and he looked at his son with a teasing look.

                  AFTER A FOUR-HOUR TRAVEL the two of them has arrived at the beach. It was a private beach, one of his dad’s properties. They could smell the salt breeze air upon arriving. Alex picked up the paper bags they brought. Her mom gave them a few cookies and a bottle of ice coffees which Ash’s really thanked for earlier. Ash and Alex replaced their footwear with slippers. Upon walking, she couldn’t help but get mesmerized by the sight in front of her. The breeze was reminding her that she’s alive. Meanwhile, Alex was happy to see that Ash’s seemed to like the idea to go here.

                  “Alex, ayusin na natin ‘to.” Ash said as she picked up the paper bags. Both of them started to set up the blanket at the sand and put the foods in there. It was like a picnic but at the shore.

                  Alex and Ash took their seat and enjoy the view in front of them. He gave her cookie that she gladly accepted. Upon eating, Ash’s eyes gleamed at the flavor. “Ang sarap ng cookies. No wonder daming customers sa inyo.”

                  Alex just smiled at her. “Thank you, si mama ang toka sa baking n’yan. Matutuwa yun.”

                  Both of them enjoy each other’s company while eating peacefully. The whole scenery screamed tranquility. Alex picked up his compact camera from the paper bag and took photos of the lady beside her while she was writing something on her notebook. Seeing Ash in that state, Alex really realized that he has no room for doubt. The writer he has been following for years was in front of him.

                  “Punta muna ako doon, Mr. Guitarist.”

                  “Go on.”

She was feeling the salt breeze from the ocean, let alone her toes touch the seawater. Seeing her enjoying the moment, Alex did not waste any time. He positioned the camera and captured the lady in front of her. Breathtaking. She sees beauty in this imperfect world, and that's how she rebels. Even though things get tough, she still chose to move forward. Even though she has millions of reasons to give up life, she still chose to continue breathing.

Even though it was easy to give up, she still sees a billion reasons to keep on living. And even though life was indeed difficult, she sees beauty in her every day. Alex saw her eyes were glistening. She looks forward to feeling the salt breeze from the ocean, let alone her toes touch the seawater. She looks forward to reaching more of her dreams. She sees beauty in this imperfect world, and that's how she rebels.

Both of them enjoyed their time as they worked together on her music video. The sunset was starting to formed at the sky. Alex continued filming her silhouette as she walked at the seashore. The sand was capturing as well their foot prints.

                  Ash and Alex stayed a little bit more at the seashore to appreciate the crescent moon above. Darkness found itself to the sky. The ripping sounds of waves filled their ears. Good thing, there was a post lamp near the ocean.

                  Alex was staring at the pictures and said, “You wanna stay a little longer?”

                  “Ikaw ba?”

                  “Hmm, medyo nagkakaroon na rin ng mga lamok, pumpkin?”

                  “Okay, let’s go. I’m good naman na.”

                  The two started to pack up their things and went straight to the small rest house Alex’s family own. Ash was really thankful for this. It was Alex who proposed the idea when what she wanted was just make a slideshow of photos taken from her apartment. This was too much for a music video, but the time she had with Alex here what she appreciates the most.

                  Walking together, Ash pressed her lips. “Alex.”

                  “Hmm?”

                  “Thank you.”

                  Alex then, asked her. “For?”

                  “Just for everything.” ***

[janzzyyboo]

The Sound of Your Voice: Distortion Twenty-Two

#TSOYV

SITTING ON THE COUCH, Alex and Linda was talking about his sickness. Linda was worried with his son. He always acted and said that he was fine and strong, but Linda knew it was for them so they don’t worry.

                  Alex was staring at the wall. He’s not used talking about this in front of his mother, but he had no choice. “Ma, wala na akong magagawa eh. Syempre, lagi talagang kakatok yung symptoms dyan paminsan-minsan. I just have to deal with it. Tanggap ko naman na Ma.”

Linda was in pain seeing his son deal with the inevitable disease, slowly eating his life. If she could just take the pain, she would. She just wants her son and daughter be happy and live a long life ahead of them. But still, she couldn’t just give up.

                  Linda asked Alex. “’Nak, ayaw mo ba talaga magpa chemo? Gagastusan natin anak, wala naman masama i try, ‘di ba?

                  This was what Alex expecting. The chemotherapy. Other than being expensive, chemotherapy does not guarantee success. The struggle as well with this treatment takes toll in person’s body. He did not like to be a burden with his family.

                  Alex looked straightly with his mom’s eyes. “Ma, naiintindihan kong gusto niyo lang ang best sa’kin. Gusto niyo gawin hangga’t may paraan pa. Salamat ma. Pero okay lang bang pag-isipan ko muna?” Alex said it, but he was not planning to take her mother’s suggestion. He could tell that he’s starting to get used at the visits of his symptoms. Every time he was having an episode, it was a struggle, but he would always get through it.

                  If this was the first time he knew it, he might pushed the idea of chemotherapy, but now that he accepted his fate, he was actually laid back on it.

                  Not that he didn’t value his family, but he just don’t like to be a burden.

                  “Sige nak. Pero sabihan mo naman ako kapag nahihirapan ka. Alam mo namang ayoko ng ganyan na ‘di ka nag sasabi. Nak, ‘di namin maiiwasan na mag-alala sa’yo kasi mahal ka namin eh. Naiintindihan mo ba ‘nak?” Linda said. Her voice was trembling, and a lone tear fell from her eyes.

                  Alex felt his heart sank on the sight in front of him. He never wanted to worry them. “Opo, ma. Oh, tama na iyak, para namang pinapatay mo ako agad ma. Sabi ko naman sa inyo, malakas ‘to eh. ‘Di lang malakas, gwapo pa!” Alex said in joking manner, as he touched his chin and raised both of her eyebrows. Linda chuckled at his son’s remarks.

                  He followed, “Ma, I’m strong. Okay?” Then, Alex hugged his mom.

                  TODAY WAS THE FOURTH DAY OF INTRAMURALS 2017. Alex arrived at the university and went straight to meet up his band mates. They were at the cafeteria, waiting for their order, takoyaki.  

                  “Yo, pre. Kumusta?” Briar asked as he laid his hand closed, fist bumping Alex. He accepted the gesture and responded, “Ayos naman, galing akong café.”

                  Ember and Stephen just nodded at his presence as the two claimed their orders. “Ito ham and cheese sa’yo, Ember.” Stephen said pointing out to another Takoyaki for Alex. “Oh, pre. Ito sa’yo. Kain.”

                  Alex gladly accepted the food and eat them with delight. Stephen asked the group after swallowing what he was eating, “Yung Fun Run mamaya nang ten am until lunch, sali ba kayo?”

                  Alex raised his hand, signaling he was participating. “Me. Sinabihan ako ni Sir P.E. nung nakaraan eh, para daw makasali naman ako. Nakakahiya naman tumanggi eh.”

                  It was Ember who spoke in his nonchalant voice, but was worrying deep inside him. “Ayos lang?” then he looked at Alex.

                  Alex baffled in his question. “Bakit naman hindi?”

                  Stephen interjected, “Syempre, about you know. Sick.”

                  Then, Alex just remembered that he already told his condition to them.

                  Alex chuckled at them. They surely were worried about him which he inwardly appreciates. “Oo naman. Parang ang hina-hina ko naman.”

                  His friends just shrugged at him. “Quarter to ten na. Mag ready ka na. Doon tayo sa track field.” Briar said and he handed the red tie to Alex that he was going to put on his forehead. Their program was in red team.

                  “Alright, eh kayo?” Alex asked.

                  “Sa kabila kaming track field, team white kami ni Stephen, tapos si Ember, green sila. Enjoy!” Briar said and the friends found their way to designated areas.

                  Wide space for track and field, there were a lot of students participating in the fun run. This activity welcomed non-athlete students. There were mini quarters in nearby areas for the required face paint. Sitting on the chair, there were people appointed to paint the faces of students participating at the fun run. Alex was closing his eyes as he let the student paint.

                  Feeling the paint brush and cold liquid of paint on his face, he remembered what happened at the break room in the café. His condition. His mom. His family. Himself. Then, Ash’s face filled his mind.

                  Death is unknown. And what lies unknown is fear. Fear of Death.

                  A little later, the student called him as a sign that the paint was finished. The student’s voice woke him up from his reveries. He thanked the student and decided to walk a bit for there was a few minutes until the fun run begins.

                  Tents all around, students eating street foods. It was kind of fun to see the students with ties on their forehead.

                  Fun. Alex did not think much of that before, but when he got diagnosed, he started to noticed trivial details around him. His feet froze from walking, his eyes stuck at the lady sitting at the bench. Since their last conversation, Alex continued sending her text of reminders. He restrained himself to sit beside the lady. He just smiled inwardly while looking at her and thought that the face paint looked good on her. The beautiful hue of yellow, sunflower complimented her skin. Bright, just like how he sees her.

                  Alex went to the starting line up and other students did the same thing. His eyes wandered, searching for someone. A lady. He couldn’t seem to find her. Students on the cue, organizers with horn and poppy horns were ready.

                  The fun run has started. There were students with towels clung on their shoulders, tumblers holding. In the vast track and field, the students we’re having fun running. Alex did not push himself to run so fast and just lie low with the speed. As he run, the trees and sceneries around him passed by at their sight. A familiar messy bun and figure was just few meters in front of Alex. He did not want to assume, but he run faster to take a little peek if the lady was the one, he admired. 

                  His intuition was correct. He was trying not to be so obvious, when he saw the familiar paint of sunflower on her face. Running slowly, Alex could see the lady breathless. He couldn’t resist not to talk to her, so he did. Holding his tumbler while running slowly, he went beside her. “Water?” The lady was startled when he heard him.

                  Seeing Alex beside her, Ash was lost for words. Even though he has face paint on, it was a face not to be easily forgotten. Especially for Ash. She must admit it was just days, but she missed him. She acquiesced and nodded at his offer and grabbed the tumbler. She looked at him again. She was just checking his reaction when she heard him spoke again.

                  Alex raised both of his hands as if he was giving up. “No worries, I haven’t drink that yet.”

                  Ash just chuckled at his statement. “I don’t really care about that, silly.”

                  The fun run ended in verve atmosphere. Ash and Alex talked comfortably with each other. They haven’t opened the topic about her being Astraea. In Alex’s mind, he doesn’t want to rush her and talk about serious things especially during intrams, he promised to give her time.

                  Just them talking lightly as of now was fine enough for him. “Gusto mo, ice cream?” Alex asked her when he saw there was selling at one of the food stalls.

                  He smiled. Ash couldn’t really resist the food. When he came back, Ash was just sitting on the bench. He sat beside her. He was about to give her the ice cream, when Ash reflex came by. With her towel, she gently wiped off Ash’s sweat on his forehead.

                  She forced herself not to blush and nonchalantly accepted the ice cream and eat it happily. Alex knew it was not the time to think about it, but seeing Ash licked the ice cream from cone made him shiver.

                  When did you become a pervert?

                  “Thank you for the ice cream, Mr. Guitarist.” A smiled formed in between of his lips as he eats his ice cream. ***

[janzzyyboo]

The Sound of Your Voice: Distortion Twenty One

#TSOYV

ASH noticed his weary demeanor. Alex was sweating a lot and Ash could really observe that he was exhausted. She has been with Alex and being friends, she could see how Alex can sometimes easily get tired. She felt guilty a bit for disturbing him like this. Even though Alex told her that it was okay, she felt like she was invading his privacy. In the end, Alex let her be so, they could spend time together.

                  “Before that, alam kong ‘di maayos ang pakiramdam mo, Alex. You sure you don’t need paracetamol or pain reliever?” Ash asked him as they eat their ice creams.

                  “I’m all good, pumpkin.” Alex said as if he was really okay. “Ano yung gusto mo i-share? Your mood seems to be ecstatic. Gusto mo sa balcony tayo?”

                  “Nah, okay na dito Mr. Guitarist. You rest there while you eat ice cream.” Ash said as she positioned herself on the floor.

                  “Malamig d’yan eh, dito ka na tabi tayo.”

                  Ash rolled her eyes. “Fine.” Then she sat down on the couch with Alex as they enjoy their ice creams.

                  “Earlier, I visited my mom at the facility. Alam mo, namiss ko siya ng sobra. Remember I told you that my mom was doing great? I witness it earlier.”

                  Alex saw how grateful Ash with the way she talked about her mom. Her eyes were glistening in delight. Her journey has been tough and she were the sole witness how she survived, and how she was continuously surviving.

                  After taking a spoonful of ice cream, she looked at him. “Alam mo kanina, nginitian niya ako. Although ‘di pa siya nagsasalita, that was a great progress. Grabe. I can feel that she could recognize me. Nakatingin siya sa’kin eh.”

                  “And I was there, leaning in to her. Naka wheelchair kasi si mama. You know what happened next?”

                  Alex was listening attentively to her. “She was patting my head. You know, her hand was so warm, and that was such a huge progress. In a span of three years, she was unresponsive and she was in a stable state, but now…”

                  Alex set aside his ice cream and asked her. “Hmm, pumpkin? Can I hug you?” Ash nodded at his question. She normally doesn’t, but Ash just let herself be and feel the warmth from his hug. Alex warmly smiled and hug her tightly. It was a hug of validation. Alex softly patted her back and Ash appreciates the gesture.

                  With sniffing sounds, Alex jokingly said, “oh, tama na iyak pumpkin. You should be happy, bakit ka umiiyak?” With a frown, Ash replied, “tears of joy, ‘di mo ba alam ‘yun?” she rolled her eyes as a response. Ash grabbed her ice cream and eat it happily.

                  “You okay now?” Alex asked and Ash nodded as she sniffed. “I’m happy for you. You did great, pumpkin.” Then, like a reflex, Alex brought his face to her and kissed her forehead.

                  Ash instantly reacted “Wha—” when Alex just avoided her gaze and took a spoonful of ice cream to somehow to calm his nerves.

                  The heck. Gago, ba’t ko ginawa ‘yun.

                  When Ash calm down, she threw his usual teasing back to him. To taste his own medicine.

                  Grinning lightly, Ash retorted. “Now, now. Look at that tomato face of yours, Mr. Guitarist.” Alex cleared his throat to hide his embarrassment.

                  Remembering that Alex has something to share as well, Ash just casually eats her ice cream and ask him.

                  “It’s your turn, Mr. Guitarist.”

                  “Hmm, about?”

                  “You have something to share as well, ‘di ba?” Alex’s face turned into serious expression that made Ash tense a bit. “Ang seryoso mo naman, Alex. Stop with the pranks.”

                  She felt more nervous seeing Alex with the same expression. He was being quiet as well.

“Uy, ano ba’ yun?”

“I want to be transparent with you, Ash.”

He’s not even calling me pumpkin. The atmosphere felt like a corporate meeting with the people in higher positions.

“Alright Alex. I’m all ears.”

Alex was still contemplating and thinking how he would say it. But he has to. No matter what she thinks, what her reaction would be, he would respect that. The longer this matter goes on, the worst it will get.

With long sighed, he finally let her know. “Remember last last last time, when you first entered this apartment?”

“Hmm, yung nagkasakit ka and I took care of you?”

Alex nodded. “Actually, ‘pagkatapos mong alagaan ako, ‘diba nagtagal ka pa ng konti? You actually fell asleep while leaning the wall. Ang sarap ng tulog mo that time, so ‘di kita ginising.”

Ash replied, “and?”

“Kahit papaano, naging okay naman yung pakiramdam ko. I’m sorry, but I lifted you up without your consent, then I trespassed to your space and room in order to lay you on your bed.”

He was looking at Ash who was in daze. Meanwhile for Ash, the thought of Alex lifting her up embarrassed her. She knew that Alex did not do anything to make her mad, but she still asked.

With an intimidating expression, she asked him. “You did not do anything wrong, did you?” Ash expected Alex to be in defense and tell her that he did not anything, but the latter was just silent.

Ash felt like her heart sank, “So, you did something.”

With nervous expression Alex said. “No, I didn’t. It was an accident.” In Alex’s mind, he was pertaining to himself, seeing her notes, knowing she was Astraea. However, in Ash’s mind it was not. Alex shivered upon seeing Ash in her cold and ruthless demeanor.

“I’ll ask so elaborate it for me. Specifically. So, where did you touch me? Did you have fun?”

Alex’s brows furrowed and he was confused. Like a bulb that rang beside his head, he got the idea. “Uhm, I didn’t do anything sexual with you, Ash. I promise.”

“You just said that it was an accident. So, what exactly?”

“It’s about you, being a writer.” Alex retorted.

Again, silence befell between the two. Ash was still in daze trying to process what she just heard. From her cold demeanor, her face was blank. Confused must it be. Alex then continued to explain, so there were no misunderstandings anymore.

“From here, I transferred you on your bed. I was about to go out, when my eyes caught your notes on your table. Nakita ko yung mga writings mo, ideas and all. I’m really sorry.” Alex was really genuine in his apology. Ash could see the sincerity in his voice. He knew him so long now. Ash was still in daze, processing her thoughts when Alex whined a little at her.

“Pumpkin. Say something.” That woke her up in her reverie.

Ash calmed down. “That was just ideas and writings, it’s not like you’re going to plagiarize it, right? Or will you?”

“It’s not just about it, pumpkin. I was an avid reader of yours. Of Astraea. I’ve been following you for years now. And I honestly can’t believe it until now.”

Ash was still in dazed. Alex on the other hand did not know what to do with her being silent. But he understood as well that it might be a shocked for her. Honestly, Ash did not know what to feel. It was mixed emotions. Bombarded with thoughts, Ash didn’t notice that she talked out loud.

                  She indulged herself in eating the ice cream and Alex was just watching and he just shrugged it off. These antics of Ash was always adorable, but he just couldn’t believe that this weird person was that Astraea.

 Really? Alex thought, then he just chuckled inwardly.

“’Di ko alam mararamdaman ko. The heck? I thought he did something unforgivable to me, well on that matter wala naman. I know him, ‘di niya magagawa yun, but still—he’s a guy. On the other hand, he just said that he was an avid reader of mine. What an actual fuck? Sa dinami dami ng tao na meron sa buhay ko eh, yung kilala pa ko as a writer. What in a film series is this? I’ve been anonymous for years now, yet someone actually knew?” Ash was still eating her ice cream time to time when she speaks.

                  Ash just realized that she talked out loud and that made her eyes widen. Then, she looked at him. “I’m really sorry, Ash. Kahit sabihin kong ‘di sinasadya, nandyan na. ‘Di ko sinabi agad kasi…” Alex paused for a while and he gulped. “Baka kasi layuan mo ako or iwasan mo kapag nalaman mo.”

                  “Ayun, sinabi ko na rin. Ayoko kasing may tinatago sa’yo especially if you’re really involved in it.” Alex said in apologetic tone and he was avoiding her stare. There was a short silence there. She was a little frustrated, but she understood now. Ash sighed.

                  “Mr. Guitarist, first of all I want to thank you for transferring me back then to my apartment. I must be a bother. I appreciate you caring.” Then she smiled.

                  “Although I’ve been reading a lot of information as for studying. Tonight was really a lot. I don’t know what to say. You see, I kind of appreciate na ikaw ang nakaalam na ako yung tao behind Astraea, because I know you’re a nice and kind person. But I was still speechless. I’m not mad, okay? Can you give me time to process things?” Ash said in serious manner, looking straight at his eyes.

                  “Of course, Ash. I’m really sorry for prying.”

                  “I believe you when you said na ‘di mo naman sinasadya. I’m not mad, I just don’t know what to feel as well dahil I was comfortable being unseen. Especially with my writings, alam ko na mas mapag i-igihan ko yun with me being anonymous.”

                  “I understand your sentiment so well. Again, I’m sorry.”

                  Alex and Ash decided to call it for the night.

                  “Thank you for today, Alex.”

                  “Salamat din, Ash. May sasabihin din pala ako sa’yo. It’s about myself. Don’t worry about it too much. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

                  Ash smiled at him. “Okay. I look forward to that.” Then, he accompanied her till she entered her apartment.

                  “Good night, pumpkin. Have a blast in intrams tomorrow.” Alex waived his hand while leaning on the wall across Ash’s apartment door.

                  “Have a good sleep, Mr. Guitarist.”

                  THE THIRD DAY of intramurals 2023 started with the continuous competition between sports. Variety of athletes has only one same goal in their mind. To win the championship that was the same for cheerleading contest. Then, around afternoon the awarding ceremonies held.

                  Meanwhile, Alex did not go to the university today. It was not because of what happened last night. But because of his usual reason. He has to help her mom as well at the café. He was glad that Ash was not mad at him. He thought he might lash out to him because of it. Although, he was feeling a bit of being self-critical because of what happened. Of course, Ash was not so okay with-it real time. He respected that; it was just that Alex was not comfortable with it.  

                  It’s okay. I’ve been honest. I have to give her time. It’s okay.

                  Alex proceeded his day with the usual tasks and works he did at the café. He thought it was another same day, but his mom informed him that they have to talk. Talk about something. Alex had an idea about it, seeing her mom’s serious expression.

                  It’s about his condition. Alex knew that there will be a day that he has to tell his mom about it after all. Mama Linda was just worried about him. Honestly, he does not want to talk about it with her mom, but for her not to be anxious, he has to make sure that after this talk, he assured her.

                  Usually, he has to go home and bade a lovely farewell. But today, he’ll be staying a little longer at the café. When his shift ended, minutes later the ones who will be replace him arrived.

                  The two was having their dinner at the second floor of the café, where there were five break rooms for more privacy. Alex was starting to joke around. “Ma, ang seryoso niyo naman masyado. Papanget  kayo n’yan lalo sige.”

                  “Ay nako, tigil-tigilan mo ako Alex.”

                  “Oh, wrinkles niyo oh.”

                  “Alex, umayos ka.”

                  Then, after eating, his mom confronted him. “Alex… anon ang plano mo anak?”

                  “Plano, ma? ‘Di ba nasabi ko na sa inyo? Kaya nga ako lumipat ng tinutuluyan.”

                  His mother was clearly worried. “Nak, alam kong gusto mo naman maging independent. Sabi mo noong nag usap tayo nung na diagnose ka, you wanted to live your life the way you wanted it until… basta. ‘Di ka nagsasabi sa’kin. Noong nakaraan, kung ‘di pa kita tinawagan “di ko malalaman na nag i-intensified na naman yung symptoms mo.”

***

[janzzyyboo]

The Sound of Your Voice: Distortion Eleven

#TSOYV

ASH MADE use of her rest tonight. She was sitting on the usual corner of her room. Looking at the calendar and tasks, she started drafting for the chapter two of their research. With designated topics, she began researching. The only sound in the room was smokey’s snore, typing chime and the low blow of her electric fan.

                  The quiet environment and the thought of evening left Ash feeling phlegmatic and drowsy, but there she was forcing herself to do the task. Yawning at front of her laptop, she sighed. Blinking and slapping her own face. She went to her kitchen to make an ice coffee. It was a weapon for the enemy—sleepiness.

                  Feeling sluggish, she cracked a block of ice and put the pieces in her mug. She was even poking her hands on it letting the coldness sober her up. There she was trying how long she can endure by letting her hands rest on the ice eventually ice-burning herself. She took her hand off, grimaced by her own antics.

                  Ash focused on doing her tasks. Thankfully, the ice coffee she made helped her to sober up and afterwards, she opened her site to check her blog notifications, which was same as usual. As she read the comments of gratitude and greetings, her heart felt warm and she inwardly smiled at the sight. A message notified her email. It was a publication offer. A publishing company offered to publish a compilation creating a poetry book. Honestly, she was stunned. It was an unexpected opportunity.

She was still processing the information till she read it again. There it was, she has a chance to become a published author. Who would have thought? Ash let the message for now and would take her time thinking about it. She was absolutely grateful to that. It was a first time for her to get an offer like that.

                  Ash decided to cook something for her dinner though it was already late. She went to the stove, put a pot with water to it till it boils. She was going to eat pancit canton. Her messaging app rings repetitively.

                  @ella: hi guys, kumusta ang drafting sa chapter two?

                  @hitch: use your time wisely, take a rest din pa minsan minsan.. if you have some questions or concerns, lapag niyo na lang dito sa group chat.

                  @ashley.garcia: This week matatapos ko na yung tasks ko.

                  @ella: ash pa ba.

                  Ash left her messaging app be. She opened her music player app and play some of the Eternal Slumber’s songs. She was perhaps a bias due to her little attraction to Alex, but honestly for her, their songs were just so good. It was a first time to her to get drawn in the music. The way they play was delicate, yet aggressive in some ways. The songs, especially Alex… the way he sings, it felt like he wanted to break something… to break something unbreakable.

                  A chain maybe. Kumusta na kaya yun? I hope he feel better now.

                  Ash texted Alex for the first time.

There’s no reminder today? Btw. I hope you feel better now. Get well soon, Mr. Guitarist. Then, Alex’s face entered her mind. It was already late. While listening to their songs, Ash received a text message from the facility.

Subject: Important Update on Your Mother's Treatment Plan

Dear Ashley Rayne Garcia,

I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to provide you with an update on your mother's progress during her stay at the facility. After a thorough evaluation, our medical team has recommended the addition of another medicine to expedite her recovery process.

This decision has been made with the utmost consideration for your mother's well-being and is aimed at ensuring the best possible outcome for her health. The new medication is designed to complement her current treatment plan and address specific aspects of her condition.

If you have any questions or concerns regarding this adjustment to her medication, please do not hesitate to reach out. We understand how important your mother's health is to you, and we are here to provide any support or information you may need.

Thank you for your understanding, and we remain committed to providing the highest level of care for your mother.

Best regards,

------, Administrative Assistant

St. Jade’s Psychiatric Facility

                  The facility also informed Ash that as much as possible, they would like to meet her in order to further discuss the condition of her mother. She replied back agreeing to visit the facility.

                  I miss you, mama. Bibisitahin na kita ulit.

                  Ash’s mom was a soft-hearted person. She was a mother anyone would like to have. A loving mother, a supportive and a caring one. Ash remembered that when they were still complete with her dad, her mother would often cook their favorite dishes. Sinigang and Adobo. She was the mother that cares for family. She would welcome them warmly when they got home. Ash from the school, and her father from work.

Kaya minsan, kapag nakakakita siya ng mga family gathering, halimbawa sa mga mall o daan, ‘di niya maiwasan mainggit. Well, yes. She was embracing the peace given her situation, but just like a normal human being, she was also craving for a companion. Although at the end, she was already used to being alone.

***