#notsickenough

[makemeskinnysblog]

[nonbinaryventing]

TW ED Vent #2. 9/17/2021

Goodmorning! Today I’m using the excuse of my jaw hurting in order to just have a smoothie for breakfast. Unfortunately the milk is what's the issue in it. (200) approximately I think. Fuck. I need to get rid of that. It’s not too bad though, I can just skip lunch somehow and save room for dinner. Plus there’s not really anything I want to eat

c̶h̶i̶p̶s̶,̶ ̶c̶h̶i̶p̶s̶,̶ ̶c̶h̶i̶p̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶s̶a̶l̶s̶a̶,̶ ̶t̶o̶r̶t̶i̶l̶l̶i̶a̶ ̶c̶h̶i̶p̶s̶,̶ ̶1̶3̶0̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶7̶-̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶7̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶1̶0̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶1̶5̶,̶ ̶1̶5̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶2̶7̶8̶ ̶c̶a̶l̶o̶r̶i̶e̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶i̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶b̶a̶d̶l̶y̶ ̶p̶l̶e̶a̶s̶e̶

I’ve also been starting a fear foods list, right now it doesn’t have too much but that’s because I can’t think off the top of my mind.

Pizza Icecream

Chicken

Homemade Mac and Cheese

Cornbread

Bread of any sort, especially if it’s big.

Mozzarella Sticks

Anyways, I have school now, check in later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Its 2:48 pm

I didn’t ever finish the smoothie. Let's push the calories down to (95)

i̶'̶m̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶h̶u̶n̶g̶r̶y̶ ̶i̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶

I’m not even hungry, so it's okay to wait till dinner tonight. I shouldn’t go past 500 at this rate.

i̶'̶m̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶h̶u̶n̶g̶r̶y̶

j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶i̶t̶e̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶t̶w̶o̶ ̶p̶l̶e̶a̶s̶e̶

This is torture.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fuck I ate I ate, I wasnt supposed too, why can’t I be a fucking puker or something why can’t I ever get myself to do that.

Salsa and Chips (167)

Granola Bar (150)

Total: (317)

I’ve had a total of 412….. I can’t eat dinner. I can't. Wait.. I can go biking for 40 minutes later, that'll burn 300 calories at least. That's the only way I can eat tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I went biking before dinner (-110) and when I got home it was time to eat. We had shrimp tacos- I had one (149). To be honest, I didn’t want more than just 1, and I was full after having it.

2̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶n̶i̶c̶e̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶h̶u̶n̶g̶r̶y̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶i̶r̶s̶t̶ ̶p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶

When I had gone biking I bought 4 things at the store, 2 monsters, 1 coke, and 1 bang energy shot for working out.

After dinner I went on long-boarding for about 15 minutes (-65), and now we’re caught up to now. I’m currently watching Jacksepticeye play The Last of Us 2 and I’m drinking the Coke (0) I got for the caffeine seeing that I feel absolutely dead.

Total calories as of now.

386.

I can have a snack tonight

Don’t eat, keep it lower than 500, that’s better for you. Don’t eat. Don’t eat.

I know the voices are right, I know I should keep it below 500.. But she’d be upset… she’s already been eating less because of me.

i̶t̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶f̶a̶u̶l̶t̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶.̶ ̶

s̶h̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶e̶a̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶.̶

̶i̶t̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶f̶a̶u̶l̶t̶.̶ ̶i̶t̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶f̶a̶u̶l̶t̶.̶ ̶I̶T̶S̶ ̶Y̶O̶U̶R̶ ̶F̶A̶U̶L̶T̶.̶ ̶

SHUT UP SHUT UP

It’s not it’s not

It is.

If I don’t eat she won’t eat. She’s told me this before… but she needs to eat, she needs to be safe and healthy, she matters.

Unlike me.

I can do whatever I want with my body, it’s the only thing that I have control of. I need to be smaller. I’m not sick enough. I’m not passing out daily because of this. I need to get to a point of starving myself but that’s so hard to do. I don’t want to eat. I don’t want too. I want it gone.

I forgot to mention, I weighed myself this morning. I weighed 103.0. It went down again, it's so easy it's so so easy.

Trail mix (140) stupid fucking idiot,

Cheese-crackers (200) fucking die.

Total: 726

Bench Press: 5 minutes (-26)

Total of today: 700

I’m not too disappointed but I’m still disappointed in myself.

should have lied to her. you should have. you should have told them you were going to eat and then not actually get anything. you should have lied you stupid dumb bitch!

I’m just going to get off for the night. Goodnight to whoever is reading this.

[gsilverveilb]

. • 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ • Hindi porket may sakit wala na akong karapatang mag selpeh. Pero kung meron man isang bagay na sigurado akong hindi papalya kahit may sakit pa, ang aking buhok. Eto ang bukod tanging nagpapangiti sakin liban sa asawa ko pag nakaharap ako sa salamin. Ok. Bye... • 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ • #justanotherhairday #arteartehan #notsickenough #yungtotoo #ayawkopumasok #icanfeelit #doesntlooklikeit #alagangvatika #walangkokontra #wagtitigannakakaumay #magseselpehakohanggatgustokoh #longhairdontcare #longdarkhair #straighttothepoint #morena #akonanaman #pointandshoot #withGalaxy #expatlife #Dohaexpat #Dohadiaries https://www.instagram.com/p/B1V9QKJHwNI/?igshid=ky31wrqkcqgr

[zhuin0330]

Microwave a cat, why havent I thought of that #notsickenough #nothingsgonnachangemyfearforcat #ailurophobia

[silverinkwings]

I'm not sick enough kept echoing in my head as I watched the video I won't be accepted im not sick enough they are gonna gay bash me they will force religion on me like everyone seems to do #lost #religion #mercyministries #treatment #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #notsickenough

[ificouldhelpyouforget]

All I want to do is lay in bed and cuddle someone until I feel better, but despite feeling bad, it's not enough to call in so I have to save the dream for another day... :/ #cuddle #sleep #bed #undertheweather #work #cantmiss #morals #notsickenough

[teanotwar-original]

Not sick enough to NOT edit footage and pictures! #skatelife #footage #editing #notsickenough