#notreallysherlockbutanyway

[ogsherlockholmes]

The Stolen Cigar Case

In my Sherlock Holmes collection, there is a book included that is a collection of short stories inspired by Sherlock Holmes. For example, there are parodies in there or other detective stories similar to Sherlock. One of there parodies is written by Bret Harte and it is called The Stolen Cigar Case. The detective in it is called Hemlock Jones, which isn’t even the strangest part, and it is narrated by an unnamed character that is supposed to take the place of John Watson.

 In the story, Hemlock Jones is living at Brook Street lodgings. The narrator enters and begins massaging his shoe (?). Hemlock makes a deduction, which was really simple, but the narrator was very impressed. They then talk about other ridiculous cases Hemlock has solved, before he announces that someone has stole his cigar case. The narrator tries to help him by suggesting ways to find it, which Hemlock writes down. Hemlock then leaves to do something, so the narrator looks through the jars in the apartment, all containing wildly specific substances. The narrator tries to open Hemlock’s drawers to see if he forgot that he put his cigar case in there, but one of the handles was sticky. He goes to sleep, and thinks he can feel hands in his pockets, then wakes up to see Hemlock smiling at him. The narrator goes to leave, and Hemlock hugs him (?) and helps him put on his coat.  During the days after, he finds Hemlock wearing disguises in the street, but pretends he doesn’t recognise him. One day, he visits Hemlock. Hemlock accuses him if stealing the cigar case, and lists how he knew it was him, but they were all ridiculous reasons. The narrator continuously tells him that he didn’t steal it, but Hemlock would shout at him every time. At the end, the narrator opens the drawer and Hemlock’s cigar case is in there. Hemlock kicks him out. 

These are all lines that are taken from it:

[The narrator] gently caressed his [Hemlock Jones] boot.

[After Hemlock knew it was raining] There was no deceiving this man!

I became dumb at once. 

I rose and embraced him warmly. 

"Do you remember the cigar case presented to me by the Turkish Ambassador for discovering the missing favorite of the Grand Vizier in the fifth chorus girl at the Hilarity Theatre? It was that one. I mean the cigar case. It was incrusted with diamonds."

I could scarcely believe my senses. He, the great Hemlock Jones, accepting suggestions from a humble individual like myself! I kissed his hand reverently

Left to myself I cast a cursory glance over his shelves. There were a number of small glass jars containing earthy substances, labeled "Pavement and Road Sweepings," from the principal thoroughfares and suburbs of London, with the sub-directions "for identifying foot-tracks." There were several other jars, labeled "Fluff from Omnibus and Road Car Seats," "Cocoanut Fibre and Rope Strands from Mattings in Public Places," "Cigarette Stumps and Match Ends from Floor of Palace Theatre, Row A, 1 to 50." Everywhere were evidences of this wonderful man's system and perspicacity.

When I came fully to my senses, I found Hemlock Jones sitting on the other side of the hearth, his deeply concentrated gaze fixed on the fire.

"I found you so comfortably asleep that I could not bear to awaken you," he said, with a smile.

on my turning to go he embraced me warmly—a rare exhibition in that man of ice. He even helped me on with my overcoat and pulled out and smoothed down the flaps of my pockets. He was particular, too, in fitting my arm in my overcoat sleeve, shaking the sleeve down from the armhole to the cuff with his deft fingers.

There is a lot more in there, so this is the link for the PDF  https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Condensed_Novels:_Second_Series/The_Stolen_Cigar_Case

When I read this, I thought this was a modern day parody, but it was written in 1900. The fact that people were basically writing fanfiction in the Victorian times is hilarious, but also how they wrote it so that Watson deeply admired Sherlock.