#notice me adding “(personally)” a lot because I do not want the astarion stan smoke

[tomurakii]

I made a post a little while ago about how I find Gale's arc much more satisfying when you're dating him, and in a similar (but opposite, I guess) vein I like Astarion's arc much more when you never sleep with him.

I'm sure I'm not the only one that is a little uncomfortable with the idea of building a relationship off of sleeping with someone who did it to manipulate you into looking after him, and I also feel like letting that happen (to me personally) feels like you reaffirm that world-view to an extent. Even at the end of it all, there is reason for him to believe that his bad intentions that night really were the reason you got roped into liking him. He doesn't have to "get on his back for breadcrumbs" anymore, but he still did, and it still worked and secured him the only person who's ever cared about him. I find it much more narratively satisfying for Tav to have never been attracted to him, but to care deeply for him and watch out for him regardless. It means that there's no way for Astarion to worry he tricked Tav into liking him, his initial come-on didn't even work. Tav supported him despite having literally zero stake in it, because the world has good people in it. Because people can care for him for more than his appearance or utility.

I think the dialogue if you break up with him at the confession also reaffirms this; he says he's had thousands of lovers, but never a friend. I think what Astarion needs, more than to fall in love with the first person he ever bit (what with vampirism and blood-drinking being a long standing metaphor for sexuality, making Astarion basically a Vampire Virgin which I want to make a proper post about), are people who are unphased by his attempts to play to his assets, and yet care for him fiercely anyway.

Plus so many of his cutscene dialogues portray such a great friendship. His gossipy little dialogue that triggers the day after you sleep with someone else, just asking out of curiosity and becoming invested if you tell him it was good. Describing/complimenting his appearance and ending it by saying he's not quite as good-looking as [insert love interest], which he approves of. Engaging in a silly little hypothetical conversation about which of the others you think would taste best. Astarion (by virtue of having the most dialogue in general) has the most dialogue about the other companions, which I think gives him this "best friend you talk shit with" vibe that I absolutely love. He's the bestie that you go to and share your dating horror stories with, who'll roll his eyes and pat you awkwardly on the back as you cry while also planning a murder about it.

Also I (personally) find him deeply unsexy. So this is largely wish-fulfillment lol.