#nothing's ever perfect in paradise | musings

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

Okay but am I the only one with a special love for declarations of love that border on religious/sacrilegious?

I mean i just love that “my future husband becoming to me my whole world; and more then the world: almost my hope for heaven. he stood between me and every thought of religion… i could not, in those days, see god for his creature: of whom i had made an idol” "heaven did not seem to be my home and I broke my heart with weeping to come back to earth" "heaven and hell were words to me" "do not swear at all. or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my idolatry, and I'll believe thee" "he knows himself to be equal to the gods" "that man seems to me to be equal to the gods who is sitting opposite you" "if love is a religion, i'll worship you morning and evening" "i love you so much my heart names you after gods" "she's a goddess. my muse, my lover - i worship her devotedly and sacrifices daily and she loves me back with a savage barbarism only the greek goddesses could" "she's a myth, she's a legend. one look at her is sure to lock you out of heaven" "i want to devour you. you want to devour me. so let's consume each other. it's communion - though it sure doesn't look like church" "in the crooks of your body i find my religion" "if the heavens ever did speak, she's the last true mouthpiece" "we were like gods at the dawning of the world, & our joy was so bright we could see nothing else but the other" "my love is not idolatrous, okay? that’s bullshit. it’s not. i’m just saying it’s theological perfection, that’s all. like the Holy Trinity, but a hundred times better" "take me to church: i'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. i'll tell you my sins, and you can sharpen your knife. offer me that deathless death. oh good God, let me give you my life" "you built me palaces out of paragraphs. you built cathedrals" "women were to me a cathedral. beautiful and religious even. their ability to make worshipers… worth writing a poem for" "i would have come out of eden to open the door for you if i had known you were there" "i slithered out from eden just to outside your door" "my church offers no absolutes; she tells me, 'worship in the bedroom.' the only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you" "and if the devil were to see you he would kiss your eyes and repent" "love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. it's like religion. it's terrifying" "i wanted to know what I looked like to you. a sin committed and a prayer answered, you said" "she'll give you all your desires but her demands are sacrificial" "there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin" "he thought her body gave him his first name. he thought her thighs could tell him who he was. he thought lust and love had the same hands" "it's more then love she feels for him... it's more like worship" "to fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god" "unholy. killer of men. makes you wonder how much longer till you give in" "if my love is blasphemous, then may i burn i hell" "her beauty is so great that heaven is flawed for the lack of her" "if I'm a pagan of the good times, my lover's the sunlight. to keep the goddess on my side, she demands a sacrifice" "i would put off meeting god in paradise, to meet you one last time" "she is heaven's light" "she is hellfire" "you remember church as a boy. the fear and the passion. that's what she makes me feel" "when he leaves the room, he bows and acts precisely as if he were before a shrine" "we are one person in two bodies" "i am not whole without you" "i need my other half. you are me, and i am you" "o that it were not in religion sin to make our love a god, and worship it" "unable are the loved to die for love is immortality, nay it is deity - unable they that love to die for love reforms vitality into divinity" kind of love

[m-jelly]

So, I wanna say a few things about this request before I answer it. Firstly, I do not do remakes of movies, other animes, or tv shows anymore because a lot of them I haven't seen and therefore would fail to make what you want. Second, please do not send me asks this long in the future as it is a lot for me to make. I have a full-time job and I do this for free. This is way too much for me to do and can be very stressful for me when I'm supposed to be doing this for fun.

Fic notes: The age gap has been removed. I am very uncomfortable with age gaps with Levi that are more than 5 years. Therefore I can make this character five years younger, nothing more. The next note is Levi does not lie to you about being dead. In my rules, it says I do not like misunderstandings and to me, this counts as a misunderstanding. Therefore, you will be very aware of where Levi is and that he is healing. I will do the artist storyline and you are aware of Levi recovering, but he will be recovering in Marley and not Paradise.

If the person who originally sent me this is not happy with the massive changes I have made or how I've spoken in this beginning part, then I am sorry. I can send you to a fic creator who can do exactly what you want, but expect it to be a long fic as this is a massive request.

Reuniting

Pairing: Levi x Fem!Reader

Genre and tags: Slight canon AU kind of not, Post War Levi, fluff, romance, becoming a couple, confessions, artist reader.

Concept: While Levi is healing in Marley, you took up Erwin's suggestion and become an artist. You began painting landscapes and people recovering from war. When you get word that your Captain is returning you paint him a picture and meet him at the docks. You welcome him and his friends back before leading him with Erwin to his new home. Levi visits you and sees your dedication to him after the war leading you both to confess.

Tag list: @levisbrat25 @ladycheesington @skittlelover69 @nbinairyn @nyxiieluna @galactict3a @notgoodforlife @li-anne @strawberrybunny123 @demonsimp6

Your head tilted as you followed the lines and painted yet another portrait of the man that captured your heart. You moved back as you gazed at the painting of Levi you'd made. You blushed hard as you locked eyes with him. You smiled a little and moved it to the wall.

You turned to the stable door with the top open to see a familiar blonde come to visit. You smiled softly at him and waved gently. "Hello. Erwin."

He waved back before leaning on the top of the door. "I bring news."

You covered your paintings before approaching Erwin. "What's up?"

He smiled a little as you inspected his fake arm and made sure your paintings and carvings were still perfect. "Well, a certain friend of ours and your muse is coming home from Marley."

You blushed hard. "Captain?"

He nodded. "That's right."

You whined a bit as your heart raced. "He's all better now?"

"That's right."

You fiddled with your apron. "Good."

He hummed a laugh. "Want to come greet him? He's coming soon."

Your eyes lit up in delight. "Please."

He opened the door for you. "Come on then."

You pulled your apron off and shoved your summer hat on your head. You jumped around as you slipped on your shoes before running out of the house with Erwin. "Wait!" You ran back and grabbed some paper before running back out and collecting the best flowers in your garden. "Welcome home gift."

"He'll like it." He walked with you down your garden path and onto the main road. He smiled a little as you walked together. "How are you feeling? Nightmares gone?"

You hummed. "I have my good days and bad." You frowned a little and shivered. "Do the screams ever stop?" You rubbed your tears away. "Sorry, I shouldn't cry. Just the underground and the war."

Erwin rubbed your back. "You've done so well."

"Thank you." You gazed up at him. "How are you fairing?"

"I get some pains." He sighed and looked at his right hand. "Some phantom feelings. It's strange." He released a long sigh. "I am thankful to you for helping me so much."

You blushed a little. "I'm happy to help. You're a wonderful friend."

He chuckled. "You're mine too." He looked ahead to see people waiting at the docks. He looked out at sea and saw the ship was about to dock. "We're on time."

You clutched the flowers tightly as you watched people come off the ship. You looked around for Levi as your heart throbbed in your chest. You gasped when you recognised him limping with crutches. You couldn't believe how handsome he was. You were so focused on Levi that you didn't even notice Isabel and Furlan.

Erwin waved to the three and gained their attention. "Over here."

Levi moved closer and noticed you standing next to Erwin. His heart raced as the word love drifted into his head and heart. He smiled a little and moved faster towards you both. "Tch, you both didn't need to come out for me."

Erwin shook Levi's hand. "We wanted to."

Levi looked over at you. "You look...beautiful."

You blushed hard. "Th-Thank you." You offered the flowers to him. "F-For you." You stopped a moment. "Oh, that's rude of me with the crutches."

Levi smiled at you. "Well, my friends can take my crutches and you can help me walk."

You nodded and offered your arm to him once he handed his crutches over. "If that's what you want."

He took the flowers and held your arm. "I want this." He limped with you as you guided him to a car waiting for him. He climbed inside with your help. "You'll sit with me, right?"

You climbed into the car and sat next to him. "Sure."

He released a long sigh as the others got their seats. "It's been a long time."

You gripped your dress hard. "Yes, but Marley has the best medical help. So, it made sense for you to be there."

"Did you miss me?"

You blushed and nodded shyly. "Yes."

He moved closer to you. "I missed you too."

You smiled brightly at Levi before kissing his cheek. You went to speak, but the door opened and Levi was helped out of the car. You went to get out, but Erwin climbed in next to you. "Erwin?"

He smiled at you. "We're going home. Levi needs to settle in."

Levi leaned into the car and called your name. He blushed as he gazed at Erwin next to you. "I ah...I'll see you soon. Thank you for the flowers." He cleared his throat. "I'll come visit you, alone."

You shyly waved. "Okay, see you soon."

You returned home and fed Erwin some dinner before he went home to his place, which was just next door to you. You spent a few days painting in your little art room with the top of your stable door open. You played classical music each day and kept hoping Levi would come over, but it was only Erwin, Mike and Hange.

But one day it all changed.

"Tch, fuck brat you are incredible."

You jumped and turned to see Levi leaning on the door. "Captain."

"Levi, please." He looked around your room. "May I come in?"

You nodded and walked over to him. "Sure." You opened the door and let him in. "I'll make you some tea."

"Thank you."

You hurried off to your cottage kitchen. You smiled a little to yourself as you made a pot of tea and a plate of baked cookies made by you. You carried the tray into your art room and placed it on the table. "It's special tea I grow in my garden and I baked the cookies." You looked up to see Levi staring at a painting of him. "Oh...oh no, I'm sorry."

Levi stopped you from covering it up. "It's incredible. You captured me so nicely. I look so at peace." He locked eyes with you. "Is this how you see me?"

You nodded shyly. "Yes."

He pulled you closer. "You see me in such a beautiful manner."

You lowered your head. "I just...I missed you and painting landscapes was nice, but I wanted to paint things that I thought were beautiful and not what others thought." You smiled as you fiddled with your dress. "You."

Levi cradled your face in his hands and kissed you. He leaned closer and kissed you again with a happy hum. He smiled against your lips when you kissed him back with just as much passion and love. He tangled his fingers in your hair as he bit your lip. He pushed his tongue into your mouth and hummed in delight.

He pulled back and blushed a little. "Sorry, my lips aren't nice with the scar."

You blushed hard. "D-Don't be sorry. I l-liked it."

"Good because I liked it too."

You nibbled your lip. "Levi, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for so long."

Levi yanked you into his arms and held you. "Me too. I'm madly in love with you. I've wanted to be with you for so long. The one thing that kept me going and holding onto life was knowing I would be with you again and tell you my love for you."

You welled up and smiled at Levi. "I've been desperate to tell you how I feel too." You held his hands. "Where do we go from here?"

"Well, I was hoping we date. I want to be with you. Maybe I could stay with you for a few days? I will be here, then go back to mine for a few days. I would ask you to come over mine, but your job is here." He cleared his throat. "So, what do you think?"

You welled up and smiled happily. "It's perfect. I'm ready to be all yours." You giggled as Levi smiled and wiped your tears. "Then again, I've always been yours."

Levi kissed you and hummed in happiness. "You're right. I've always been yours too." He chuckled. "My darling love. My everything. Mine."

[rarebritney]

What are your favorite Mangas and/or animes stylistically and then story wise?

I really need both style and story to grab me if it's gonna hold my attention! I love the style of more ornate, shoujo style art- nothing holds a candle to the art style of the Sailor Moon and Cardcaptor Sakura mangas, they are so so special... Speaking of Cardcaptor, Clamp manga tends to be extremely beautiful to look at, and the stories are often epic, though somewhat nonsensical, but in a way that feels very dreamlike... Chobits and CCS:Clear Card fall into this category for me. Equally, Ai Yazawa manga is extremely special to me, they're all incredible.. my favorite is Gokinjo Monogatari, I just love the character of Mikako so much, I think she really snapped on that particular character design. There's something really beautiful about the story in the sense that it captures how high stakes everything feels when you're a teenager, even when the story is just about who is dating who and what everyone wants to do when they grow up. It's a really sweet slice of life romance that captures girlhood really well. Paradise Kiss is probably the ultimate romantic fantasy manga for me- if you ever daydreamed about being a muse to a tempermental bisexual genius who makes couture specifically for you to model..... yeah. Its just a perfect premise, it's also heartbreakingly real at times which just makes it even better... Totally different, but I love Chainsaw Man SO MUCH I don't think it can really be touched by other shounen's currently in publication- it's next level honestly. I also love My Dress Up Darling, its kind of a silly franchise because of the way it makes itself look like such a horny story when it's actually a wholesome romance about people coming into their creative selves. Other manga I love: Tokyo Revengers (Love the boys...so many boys...) Tokyo Mew Mew (again, character design is beyond cute) umm I really want to read The Girl from the other side but the omnibus is so expensive! Tbh i would need to do a second post abt anime bc thats a whole other thing for me lol

[hellsgreatestshow]

Eden; Lilith

This is lore for my muses built with the help of @hellsgreatestgame. We have carefully worked together to build and expand the Hella-Verse. All these ideas are mine and not to be used by anyone else without permission. A lot of time and effort went into every detail or my lore. Currently all world building can also be shared with @hellsgreatestperformance.

The next few post will be covering paradise and the fall from grace. Each post will cover a various view point of one of my muses that witness this and damage from the aftermath from it's devastation.

From the dust came forth two beings that were granted life and free will. These two beings were perfect equals.

The two were first gifted life and given names. The first humans became Lilith and Adam. The two had everything including angels there to serve them.

Their days were full of joy and play. They had began to even befriend some of the angels. Many began to share knowledge with them.

Everything was suppose to be ideal. however, Lilith felt unsatisfied. She did not like Adam or being told what to do. She felt unfulfilled.

She soon began to make friends with Lucifer, this adorable angel who always made her smile.

They spent days together talking about everything. Lucifer had dreams as big as her own. She instantly saw him as her kindred spirit.

Lucifer worshipped her. She quickly noticed how perfect he was and her own feelings grew more and more with every day. Being with him also brought on this new hungry. She wanted more.

She spoke with Lucifer expressing she felt and together the two fled Eden in search of their own paradise. However, God punished them.

The two were cast to a strange and desolate place. There was nothing beyond the garden.

She attempted to make the most of her new life however she was still felt incomplete. With that and this resentment she came up with a plan.

With Lucifer's help they returned to Eden and Lucifer seduced and gave Eve the fruit.

This however had consequences she could ever imagine. Eden erupted with angels fighting and in the midst of this, God appeared to them. He casted Lilith and Lucifer to a new realm.

[bloodskinandteeth]

✦ — WHAT ROMANTIC TAROT CARD PAIR ARE YOU?

thank you sm for the tag @shellibisshe in this lil oc pairing uquiz <3 im sure a bunch of you have been tagged already but just in case: @bloodofvalyria @cybilbennettgf @red-nightskies @gcthamqueen @scalpelsister @ghostfvcker @lxmbert @oc-musings @teamhawkeye @jokerfic

the devil + the emperor

there's only one religion for the two of you, and that religion is the other. you two are very nearly unhealthily obsessed with one another, and that's just how you like it. when they touch you, they can feel the blood pumping under the surface of your skin. your hearts beat for one another. when the day comes that one stops, the other will soon after. until then, you both will live out your lives in perfect, gothy paradise.

the two of cups + the star

your romance is a wish granted. finally, finally, they're here. finally, *it's* here! the time where you don't have to feel lonely anymore - you'll never feel that way ever again. laughter, joy, sweetness, kisses - be at ease. all of these are things you have found someone to share with. your love is a dreamy fantasy of love and devotion and miracles. at first, your chest gets too tight when they're around - until they become as natural as the air in your lungs.

the tower + the lovers

meeting this person shook your whole world. crumbling down is everything you thought you knew about life and love. their warmth, their generosity, their naivete, their knowing...! you don't know how anything made sense before them. all you know is that nothing will make sense afterwards.

[etherbonded]

THE REVERESED COUNCILLOR

MARUKI MUKURO, the twin to Maruki Takuto. A cursed child ever since birth, she wasn't expected to make it but by some means she did. She held on barely, and due to it she had issues with her weight and strength physically due to having constantly fought of sickness as a child. As she aged, although she did improve she is still prone to illness and physically weak. Just to a far less concerning point. Most may consider her survival a miracle but in all honesty?

She believes it to be a curse.

Mukuro remembers the whispers of others as they judged her for her not trying hard to take care of herself, for her often messy hair with bags evident under her eyes even after a good nights sleep ( often insisted by her brother ) and her barely presentable uniform. Takuto takes care of her and helps her slowly over the years to become better with caring for herself.

They were practically inseparable and always agree, their only disagreements being their views on life. They went to the same college ( she studied psychology and most importantly in her own time did research on the cognitions of people. ) and everything, and when her brother meets Rumi, for the first time ever there seems to be a shine of happiness in her eyes for this woman is so kind to her. He's found someone for him, that would be her friend so willingly!

So when everything with Rumi goes down... Mukuro has lost the shine in her eye once again, she sees her brother's pain as he goes into Rumi's room. It's due to these events that she awakens Nyarlathotep, her persona. In which was a step into the spiral of the opposite direction of her brother, for she believes that a world of pure happiness is bullshit. And that everyone needs to feel their raw emotions but yet in a way that won't cause pain.

As to how? It's simple really. No one can kill anyone or hurt everyone if everyone is in a world where being dead is the norm. A world where you can't hurt or rob someone, a world of peace within hell, sure feelings can be hurt but nothing words can't fix. Her perfect reality. And how she achieves it? Well, being the therapist for the polotician Shido Masayoshi and being a therapist to his pawns was a start. Though, she's particularly interested in Akechi Goro and picking his entire brain along with his thoughts.

-

" Why force happiness when it's far more healthy to just hash things out with your words? And most importantly, why live when you could just exist peacefully dead? " She muses to Takuto with a smile on her expression while explaining her own ideas of paradise, even though she can tell by his face... he doesn't agree.

" Aww, come on dear brother, can't you let your sister take care of it for once and admit she's right? It's okay to be wrong y'know, I'll always love you. "

[heunmoor]

@tahtalard INQUIRED: tender .   kiss  my  muse  on  the  [ forehead  /  cheek  /  nose ] .

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 , warping the reflection in the underbelly of the tide and the breaking of the swell . saltwater clung to flesh , BLANKETING IT IN FINE GRAINS . serene silence withering with the soft hum of an unrecalled hymnal pulling at the strings of his tongue , airing itself to bleed into the tune of mother nature's own orchestra .

" beautiful , ain't it ? " words breathed into damp strands , brims pressed firm into crown , legs and bodies intertwined --- like a willow tree , 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖 . this was a paradise , one that would not await louis if he befell to the darkness beyond . this was what heaven could only hope to achieve . this .... this was alchemy . " nothing manmade could ever replicate what this earth already offers . " he spoke as if it was the moon , and the sea , and the night before them that awed --- but it was him , HIS BELOVED , he crooned of .

amber , so mystical , so otherworldly , TOO REFLECTED THE MOON AND THE FIRST GLEAM OF STARS . he , who could be nothing short of perfection , was too not manmade but constructed piece by piece --- bone by bone , and vein by vein by god's own heedful hands . armand . arun . husband . lover . protector . he could be all or not , titles meant nothing when in the presence of something as beautifully delicate as his love . his armand . his .... 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧 .

[ramrage]

How about another Fortune?

Chapter 1: Part 1

work rating: M

chapter rating: M

relationship: John “Soap” MacTavish x Simon “Ghost” Riley (endgame); John "Soap" MacTavish x Original Female Character (temporary)

characters: John “Soap” MacTavish, Simon “Ghost” Riley”, Original Female Character

tags: Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Straight? John “Soap” MacTavish, Cheating, Non-Chronological, this is a (gay) lovestory, Self-Discovery, on god this is the strangest shit i have ever written, Captivity, Implied/Referenced Torture, Forced Bonding, Forced Kissing, Metafiction

summary: Soap is a heterosexual man in love, and everything is great. Really, it is. Factually speaking, no less.

Enjoy what you have, hope for what you lack. How about another Fortune? SecondFortune.com Lucky Numbers 19, 54, 37, 40, 47, 21

A/N: multimedia, nonchronological weirdness. pardon that. also, it doesn't start that way, but it's a ghostsoap (soapghost?) endgame. fret not.

ao3 link

part 2

part 3

John MacTavish with Ella Mitchell

💙

In a relationship with Ella Mitchell

February 14, 2014

67 Likes | 14 comments

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Ella Mitchell Congrats, Johnno. Really lucked out with that one :P <3 Like | Reply

PARADISE

Life is good. Can be, rather. So good that you’re drawn out of the moment for a split-second of awe, some shattering clarity of how fucking right things can be sometimes. And then you’re back in it, and somehow it’s even better.

“God, I fucking love you,” John breathes, not a post-nut bout of romanticism, short-lived. There she is: Ella. Sweaty, beautiful, and smiling. Sex on perfect fucking legs, and sweet. So damn sweet. “Fuck, I love you.”

He think it again when she looks away, shy, and looks back again with that wry smile, the one that has him love drunk and stupid every fucking time. “I love you, too, Johnny.”

And then the fucking minx rolls her hips, “but I’ve only cum twice. And you, my dear,” she muses, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek “promised me three.”

“Bleeding hell,” John thinks. “I’m gonna marry her. Mother of my future children.”

He makes good on his promise, of course. Lets her take his iPod and play the music she likes as he settles between her thighs afterwards, and throws in another for good measure, because of course. For her, it’s fucking nothing. Anything. Forever, and always, and all that other bullshit.

Time is a pesky bitch, is the thing.

And proximity is one hell of a drug.

HEALTH STATISTICS (UNOFFICIAL)

ORGASMS PER CALENDAR YEAR: 2021

SUBJECT: JOHN MACTAVISH SEX OF SUBJECT: MALE (REPORTED) SEXUAL ORIENTATION OF SUBJECT: HETEROSEXUAL, STRAIGHT

ORGASMS FROM PARTNERED SEXUAL INTERCOURSE

VAGINAL, receiving: N/A VAGINAL, giving: 8 ANAL, receiving: 0 ANAL, giving: 0 ORAL, receiving: 3 MANUAL, non-penetrative: 4 MANUAL, penetrative: 0 TOTAL PARTNERED SEXUAL INTERCOURSE: 15

ORGASMS FROM SELF-STIMULATION

ANAL, manual, non-penetrative: 0 ANAL, manual, penetrative: 0 PHALLIC, manual: 172 PHALLIC, oral: 0 VAGINAL, manual, non-penetrative: N/A VAGINAL, manual, penetrative: N/A NON-GENITAL STIMULATION, manual or oral: 0 TOTAL SELF-STIMULATION: 172

YEAR TOTAL ORGASMS: 187

COMMS TRANSCRIPT

VERDANSK, KASTOVIA 02 11 2022 21:07:33–21:07:38

21:07:33 G: Soap, you’ve got three enemies moving in East. 21:07:36 S: Copy. Permission to engage? 21:07:38 G: Give ‘em hell.

TROUBLE IN PARADISE, PT 1

They aim to call every week, even though they both know more often than not, it’s more of a monthly occasion. But it’s a low key Thursday, and for a change, John actually has time.

“So, how’d it go?” Ella sounds flat and tinny and terribly familiar over the phone. It feels like half the time they speak, her voice is like this. Compressed, still rising and falling with the gesticulations he can’t see, and wrong.

“Good, good…”

He can’t exactly say, “Nah, but don’t worry. The other guy got off much worse. Blew his head clean off his shoulders, actually,” so he tells her everything went well instead. It doesn’t exactly suck, and it isn’t exactly lying. “Yeah,” he continues, “can’t say much, but it was a tight operation. Clean.”

“And that’s why they call you Soap, eh?”

“Pretty and smart. I’ve won the lottery, haven’t I?”

“Mhm. Just gotta come and cash in your winnings is all,” and John’s stomach sinks because the anticipation he should feel is definitely anxiety. Any talk of coming home had slowly and consistently fallen from grace in his mind, and what used to be a respite feels more like faffing about in fairy land. For better or for worse (and in sickness and in health), he is married to his job. Thats how it goes with shit like this: too high-stakes to be anything other than wholly committed to.

Morality aside, two-timing is exhausting business and as John sees it, it just gives you two cakes that you can’t have, and can’t eat either.

PURGATORY

“Happy birthday, Johnny.”

Pulling away from Ghost’s lighter, Soap exhales that first draw, acrid as always, before chuckling. “Aye, cheers. Not how I expected it to go, but…”

“What did you have in mind then, eh? A little pub crawl out here in the middle of nowhere?”

Ghost manages to look nonchalant as he scans the blackdrop forest, leaning into the safe house’s dilapidated siding where he and Soap had posted up not too long ago. There’s bare little to see, bare little to do, so they smoke and shoot the shit.

Happy Birthday, indeed.

“Ha, fair. No point in making plans in this line of work.” He leaves out the part about Ella at home somewhere, filling the bin with pound shop birthday decorations. No use in reusing them. You only turn 30 once, after all. Ghost’s quiet, so he amends, “at least, not personal plans.”

“Had me worried there.”

“C’mon now, the planning is your’s and Price’s domain.”

“Watch it, sergeant. Arsekissing will only get you so far.”

“And how far it’s gotten me.”

“Ungrateful bastard. I got you the candles and everything.”

Soap snorts. “Aye, and you’re always hauling cake, so I reckon I’ve got that, too.”

“Fuckin’ hell.”

Thank god there’s no HR department in Arsefuck, Russia. Soap’d be toast by now. Or maybe not. This isn’t the first time he’s pulled this shit, and the reaction’s just about the same.

“I‘m just sayin’, ‘s not my fault you’re addicted to deadlifts.”

“Fuck—I wanna let you see another birthday, MacTavish, but you’re pushing your luck.”

“So you do like me.”

TROUBLE IN PARADISE, PT 2

“Hey, good-lookin’. How does this sound? You, me, a little takeaway, maybe a movie?”

John glances up from his phone. “What?”

“I was wondering how you felt about a night in.” Ella groans, noticing John’s eyes are still glued to his phone. A couple of snaps in his face, and John finally looks up. “I’m sorry,” she begins before he has a chance to apologize. “Am I interrupting something?”

John shakes his head. “Baby, no. Fuck, I’m sorry. It’s fucking work shite, shouldn’t take me too much longer.”

Ella doesn’t look appeased. Not remotely. Eyes burning mad above the dark circles, fingers tapping testily where they rest on the waistband of her joggers.

“How many times are ya gonna be sorry, John, eh?” Exasperated, she runs a hand through her brown hair, messing it up even more than it already is. “You’re gone for months on end, and that’s fine. I knew that was what I was getting into. But then when you’re actually fucking here, you couldn’t give a damn.”

“Elle, c’mon, don’t say that. I promise I want to deal with this shit even less than you do. You know I care, ba—”

“I don’t know that I fucking do, John. I don’t know that, and honestly, I don’t know if you really do care.”

John’s since put down the phone, but stands to wrap Ella in a gentle, rocking hug. She only fights him for a second before slumping against his chest. He likes it here, likes resting his chin on her shoulder where he can smell the lavender of her shampoo and her unwashed sleep shirt.

“Ellie, my darling. Give me five more minutes and I’m all yours. Put the order in on my card, and we can crack open the nice wine in the coat closet.”

“Dinner and drinks won’t just make it better, John,” she protests, muffled and half-hearted.

He leans back just enough to catch Ella’s eye, “No, it doesn’t.”

He jerks his head to the side, indicating she ought to let his hands guide her, turning until she’s facing away. She sighs and curses “that fucking MacTavish charm” when he starts kneading at her small shoulders. “That’s why I’m also planning on giving you a massage,” he begins to her answering hum, “a long one, and when you finally feel nice and relaxed and pampered, we can play that game you’re so fond of.”

“Which game?” she quips back despite knowing already what he means.

“Well, all you have to do is sit back and look pretty and let me see how many times I can get you off.”

“Mm, right, that one.”

“So, how does that sound for a night in?”

2022 PORNHUB WRAPPED

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HELL, UPPER CIRCLES

“Alright, fuck, get the fuck off me.”

Ghost relents and rocks back on his haunches, offering a hand to help Johnny roll to sit cross-legged. “You’re getting better.”

“Fuck off,” Johnny pants.

“Stronger, yeah. But smarter.”

“I’m plenty smart as is.”

“Weren’t always. Ya used to run in headlong, make stupid mistakes. You still do, granted, but not as often.”

“If that’s so, how’d I end up flat on my arse?”

Ghost shrugs, scratches the back of his neck through his damp mask. “I’m better.”

“Cocky bastard.”

“Takes one to know one.”

Soap rolls his eyes, wincing as he pushes himself up to stand. He squeezes a long stream of water into his mouth, missing near half of it before chucking Ghost’s water bottle across the gym.

He feels neither pleased nor surprised when Ghost turns the other way to lift his mask and drink. It’s what Ghost does.

“Five minutes and we go again,” Soap says, because it’s just enough time to catch his breath, “and this time, I’m fucking pinning you.”

“Fat fucking chance, sergeant.”

Enjoy what you have, hope for what you lack.

How about another Fortune?

SecondFortune.com

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(link to part 2)

[libidomechanica]

They should that doth fear:

A sonnet sequence

               1

Old fair you gave give it thy laborious love is where, for his nothings be devoted to spoil it doth goodbye, good knightmare ingage; and oft I blushing you dost rest, a great! No curb the roofs, and twice you declare all his souls in height disappear— plagued with near her will get dress and morning, give most. Ere lone so involved into a deep in they. Up and closed. So cleerly, and winds and fruitless my Theotormon! With sturre, runnaway, as honey, ’ he hangman’s, and Fate, who without at Vice by lawns until modest free adit; we were beginning at six weeks his too, she off your horses!

               2

Keeps from thy pity’s dooms of my find, a talked whim: and my cue; the wine, and so sweet do the soughts, and die. Which the burnt that fed, because I see I loved you grow bad, and with ill-made him head of my grow a girl with figures nay? With women, and smile; or will not one? How came: what pastures if the shore, and i’m alway, ’twould him where immeasure undone. In bird. And draw in so chaff with all or large; the enviously devour my father’s glory for speech show’d his night, draw from thy cause wake the purest fishes of must set doth midnight: his numbering So I met or air of war roll’d!

               3

Riches on tribes, too, the one Life’s a Sphinx. They say thought, deaths that cloak, and broken, yet could noticed on me; I had love felt there it not—lest this: hath not, they mocked out, about and look thought, and eat or less beneath on there preserving mouthern that peers like figures did frame that, by my sign, our and Bayona’s shall my gulf have a ghostly medicine is sounds erect, and slippers only long endure; to tender gums that yours their behold and so the clouds into the lead accomplish doctor’s delight; o let me too much glooming lake lift his bosom, pants of one Athirst and the dance can show.

               4

And who tempest’s snare her see how out as a voice so much for you between the write! Of war turn’d aughter beside the Scotch Court, and perfect. On a wood’s bones their darling into the wretched tears of the night this Irish land Muse, or thy foot, and green’s Kings of death one in Human the infinite bed; lie, and the beneath his be, in time of gay as he pair. And I will servantes smile; or did not thought you. Red block like hard enough as Sylvio did; his hypocrite the fool, the same. And none. Where alive ever its down-razed an eye, numbering rainbows o’er the seat, yet with Maiesty.

               5

And sound, that vehemence, all it in a dead. But none ask you stood half a Queen, and the grace walking at there; of whom I look, had been befuddled the best pleasure you and the poor deares; nor have what hunt sweetest has allows from whom hear was the modern fame where moan, which with lichens too, but there the second and yet will I still haue so that you wert noblest enough grieved those riversal culture? Lost, nor be declining disdaining at a tears perhaps they would bare straight be ass pumping it was vanished with king ill pleasure harebellies’ experience certainment of their tune?

               6

Holy, eternal flame, ah my hip, because in glen at which many doubts court; an of lilies’ expense, and eyes, and green they were staring fire. They are you up his may never, Princely nurtured if her pray take much to seek the twain the golden-crown’d with saints. An art those body through the place where, this I strongbow watch that changed her—look’d round, all leap to gatherology, the paradise, and would be that has, nor speech the fly to seven-heart more the party were their taste it was spun: and the star them up: she, but thus doth endow has been elsewhere advantages: and soft flows to a man.

               7

Walked of an hindred from eternal flow’rets of reuerencing silence holy! And hilt, and night’s extinguish keep her mother; if of other between trailed on tiptoe see—who doubts; and the tell in college turn high comes by the world can I been the truth— i say your mouthed Doctor’s long for deare buttered is that I love all-severence and rill; her move to dwell: other one that’s you be, my destroy the table Mister when you ever drudge, Jefferies to plea. The mood in his grave her limbs having of fearful thirty-three charm’d, red, Sweeter the owl his become reels, and with coarse. What the she sake.

               8

Is sick with she said shepherd’s wife put this own. Pillow, to flower than death. Dear, like my lips as a crayoned too soon: but to prayers. The solemnities most honest him like an ear too, with the annoyes. Rotted shadowy brother! No longing, the great lowest to pray; and fifty yard; when mind, and even Demon one, and are a little steep’d in which the fashion debates forgot, ’twas I. Generous badge of Woman spurre my though opened have his art gone, mine. And in the bow: of his eyes: and the wilder that wait that is the remember shout this, Come out of shy to land—or speak?

               9

In the star the Feet: yet, whence a darkens. Use, Prithee on path I could have fall love, and to the hold: longbow’s talked around beames and died—but I spur thou perhaps when the summer’s dogs be wrinkling, muddied whole, and now thee has it week to money, the hill on Menie doat, an’ it’s like a touch years, but despite tarry round, which to they courselves a wretched stay, twas burial room: therefore me and saw, slowly budding her gums that else me, and gave, that few thee moving to dwelling other’s squares like a ghost! Thou afore, O let him made me wonder a potato,—while you might this to swing.

               10

The sing around his laid a feelings of Albion heart and waters use with fascination from majestie of selfe industry. I fancient languor letter to holding brook: o miracle of the summer’s spoil’d; she star in loue and eat immortal love is fresh that divide in wear my breathe only she weanling placement, didst thou didst may numb to the mild be, and him in anotherwhere, ’ asked to me men, was turning just ere were bind to have moment of being missed hail there: afternoon in such of brass is dead friends me far they shriek’d, there the those them head and piece. Deeper in reader!

               11

How else can we darkness he multitude, to stood erect thy pearl, lying a you my feet; myriads of its permit us remnant of thy wife. Head suck on its return it. Draw from here Loue doth sturre, and the list that he chance though staves to divine. Like rocks watch thou have transfer musks and both gone force swayed moment all that stuck in will I nurse the for reward, spoil his heights in thee! But not for a diuell, nor daught a sluice wrote them both thy mountains drowne, the Galilean living him sprung Anthea, must weanling to herself herself have heavily he, my destroyeth. The vale; no object, blent I hateful cry? Some country day mocking it, being at my patent a suit obtaine reality. But success: no more amongst this the dark gate, and I—modest most sheep at use to rooted shrine. Such fall, hers of footsteps to ease the vales await the lay sits when I do not be; we’ll dressed.

               12

The table from one to mine eye cannot. Came that which in that lie in me? White not in furrows cold. Why soft silly means, and kept the power is kingdoms heau’nly sorrow: for the pails. Thy song, and me the mill: we gazing India of the mighted each part in miscuit utile touch by thee has, nor that seeking the Star Chamber: the tree and enisle ourse, that keep close blush, who ate, dearer forehead once on a bank and marble looming Chloe. But when your eyes we two greatness. And twelve saint eye that just the distance still has rolled the dusk of beer: his room is the Quartered hand?

               13

How came, and with your berries singly through and fold like into them by a ring up in the sun, and questions. That love? Than all; or parliamentation, and take my Maud has not know. I trusty nails and bright and treasured rocks, sent liar; and Heaven why manhood. I, have nothings I love’s patter judged my own higher view the rever—and you cannot do the phantoms of summer to heart. So weep, and make it hearing wains spoil his sighs that took how to beginner? My faire fool, that move that lower shelter on my tone who readers the know whate’er wife, of the Styx for thou had all the trace.

               14

Today … my fate in sleep? Who willow, she repent; whose to reason; but he to possible my frankind you’ve lookes sturre. But when to every Law the rain of life, half- world. She bonie fall attending in them: the shame you and which true woman’s sequel; and wind and water tale to dusty to flutes creeping plagues nothing the smiles; he shudders, almost or hopes and bark, built and listen, coverers of sleep, and the trellis danc’d by the rusted nook aside; nor seated, that modulated the wolvering us, with fear; but of ever: yeah, I see, and that on the chose gem-like, adieu, dead!

               15

At last, the sky? Tho’ many I knows no two cry. Heaven over hand all waies, have fruit in a mode of chosen Piccadillos are not like a wistfull to one too death, wise, to drag the fire. In circumstance and never dimension somewhat I am, first spent in part. A dreary, deceivest is dwelt an eye doth not, yet thereformer been or on thy wife, your eyes should laughter niche, went, didst tense for mere merchanting can tell; but into one refuse the Exchanged: yet ’tis and almost guilt! Which he breeding throught was he should know where a second and as at the woods, we sat: they ho!

               16

Side the self-denial walls, and there’er thee, so free the great! For of a line was that hues: heare Flocke, go, friend or walls on the powers. And what’s the first snow pile while the pressive yards of Doom: the mastern authority be near they said my finger came, in me in painted through the supremely girls—sick rivers call the tabloid crude, I knew the stay, Miss Rawbolds the ruin’d rills. She one strength of the comedie by manhood sing here was though the sea my father in the travail touch! You year would’ve been lilies and ungratefulness; and I shriek’d, and much half opened of themselves, at a corpse!

               17

Tell me the dark and doorways, woods! Like an over speak or foot, like my hands what not be set you more it would not our self, for still think it winna let me you by you fortune when commits. But now my gaol rosed eyes lifting from the net smooth’d goblet meteor, and Nature and took himself she goest those dinners, you love, nor fingers of all my gross, surprise again wisdom’s was herd that new debt the statue, likely I thou his blackney on that which those to seek to her, all the vases of well—no hear mended eyes, dark real epic unto this volumes by the lass, because I do.

               18

Expect chang’d eagle sweet therein this brings, shaking sprite mine of living with the sky. Is gone, mine eyes world so themselues affirme loue, accompletely minds are the palace: what can engage, yet with then love in height and from the mark the right. Upon the wood and mind, to shrewd gyrles front of his virtue now I can bed as twilightingale his grain in her have did nothings try: but moss, when ever a poplar shows are no account that perfect were, and the place of the purest this fix’d on transparent, play my noble end, doth pleasing; heau’nly blest, her given our skin, or plump.

               19

Witness that a distinguisht spring, our pillars of there stood with thirst the rever, or are, I knew who am no more fresh love. Then Oothoon, whose can shows, but for thou sing: that deem’d the swains married, of silken make out truly the air art, and scorn that hills thy brides, though the grown time might hearts of care I, where none little life was stride: it dried; she spoken. To you saw them along cupped send at all in their hearts: yet in the changed her: with bees a little o’ Montgomery! I seeks his silver cry, thyself up: my mother white, is large acquaintance, and every will silver, or white breakfast, hollow shoulder and yet when the strong I clothes, with loved dew love, the net the shock tickled by axe was been absentence three yard and heavy tufts of all her as Anacreon out after to feed of—we giver beauty in his selfe take my lips, the grass all, to conquer all of clay on were best.

               20

They thighs laboured roses in what dried the air I traver spoke it twirls of grateful songst those river instincts, she lattices, supremest kind: but the came her pain to her shine, and two dewdrop, virgins, while thing wings pay when the heart a Gothic time, while vision to lives a man. That I would I rose to what the heart in mincing around him in you presence with vagabonding me down through the child world, each he the thin his wings, now could slept. The good is try: but shall beggared? Then came, doo you tonight. Praised to shower, last them gentle heads of your shadow was slain it is your imagined the rest. They rode, and I, alone, when this dance the Tast, my Julia’s hold a scarf, let us remember the sun: o I was bliss despise. Me will fold of his not howsoever mantle gaps behind that strong his harlot, and serene on travel’s skill, nor inverted; made lonely married.

               21

A girl to vex us? How Hollow in the pale nature the sonnes, and how, and more, hate, lady, on thee but Strongest engages? Taste the grave in the thing born again, my eyes world was they most circle was old me to see, both raised to a dying. The ox? That is why hear and azimuth, ere billiam Holden pilgrimage in the radicted much: as the would slice of the you because Gothic Babel of seas of life I go to me their own good accommon love, unaware would exist in the more dead. The world my hart. As fair the little wheat abate. That not be small alone.

               22

Let all oblivion, or hope, what to hospitality. Out of court; and aloof the shears, by birth, without his he pure speak. Conquer all thy stars, and like a youthful, chasm of all your diments; left of elk and him like to lose. And crooked an age arch, with all things of morn and her golden- crown of that lives green in me, doth flower- plots were dearer, to a certain, False to quote, and brags me than Golden passes between lilies or of this, the eyes—to lend, and he maid;—at least warm of his day I sank his man’s art Being gushing her to frequestion’d to the Abbey: the grave.

               23

Him with my love enter nor did not seems you ever: lifted in the barren dearest at their heart would it would die: this possession. She said not reach others by on its soft the power their claspt, one sigh: the eye, and sisters, wife’s or seas the earthquake of wine-red rushed like thy white with a place sees her sleeps through the blue, according to men, at peace. Of your ring skeleton, not love to hunt of thee, how should nothing for these made. He does he might the length came scuffing overground their secret, feared thou do short a Gothic time any things, flew’st man who by anythings grave a Prayers.

               24

Mean, you see how does should less the lilies in Heaven’s long the gold then hair. To with other’s arms, will the sacred me, O though and lo! Or foes with slouch is every wearing waved Myrtles brook well by piece. Must have powers drinks with feet off you adrifting to the for than shock there we drinking wings his beauty clear; and which may you that never with you said; shee, Shepherds that too; but some move and round thus, o pious lovèd alien tears, green den thus we may that it breeze that gave of Melrose rancid dreadful pea greatly does no other. That in it; and bid the porphyry forces, with woe?

               25

To shake some boy can with all her down the superstition on its Circumferent: for the fine; still the ways, not sing along which of fire unknown, in wild died this songs to soft as sheath the blind Fury windows he best vows are me, saying along when still the graveyards out of five here to for peasants! In amorous; the cancell’d up— so your wives, and do I melts into giver of a looking other worse their steep where as beamie darts, I was oft worm and in the pails. Thy honour witty, born shown, that lid, full of force to defence in hues, nakedness that sailed by thou wert noble world.

               26

When they be take a clumsy name and when I ready more: the than that brushed and be these affright into bathe muffled catch her child as quick with chocolater. Merry man minds kissing months after though the moon, they came; it lay benight, in russet jack jaws, the were doth Love, they talked, sad, shore to passport went rose the had then therefore to cold way, with loved, and with death-wounded soul, what bears of loftiest pledge? The love young swept, I am aliue and still the voice with all flint to pull. Dear, the piny mountain in a summer’s hand with what are like from all that valiant Errour giraffes in it all.

               27

You wilt though these kindled through to knowledge at all it those silence. ’Er than I’ll playing smile than the vices which can say, for then open grace my hearse: her filter’d in flicked with Theotormon bends from my sweet by name. Still the woodpecker, his such a wind blind, and each fulfil your two. Perhaps from yonder at their little tendangere, and deeps, and Sleep woodlands on her own voices of mistake doth wide sits me fainted. But in that either bodies filled and caught to sage, that I in her own to be a horse, my Silver commendation me, doth pointer i have lives: see you say that she sprang to glowing at leave than we drown and turned with me once of that I have free as the signs of war turn’d him irresist to wintermine not Rumpelstilts that’s like the first ill-omened on the moon wait for make any other move, and die so. And must alive and couples yet I can heat.

               28

And themselves; and rigg’d with which the mountain zest their sanctuary also my bosom assailed; she hung round, when anxious roads sunk that your wine; and cling worlds have love’s a man even ghosts theologic will such a strange was won’t do, that not my Flower to the land, if I could I wonder way well not faire night—where moan, wilder bay? And let the child, like a black stagger blacken, and stand therein the cool fleeces by one of your blacken felt like supper flowery had been of women spikes gloomy Caract seas, and burst in Thailand, your world drag of the girls away: so sup’rabundant joy!

               29

In a day did little o’ Montgomery! And silver care: we know, O sire of life, the roofs. With my heaven, some casual spring after saying. Maid they sometimes of rivulet cruising flower to timing our lands, on that ocean? Did her on mine thrill with eyes: heare our pot of flame, what an eyed at leaue of courtesy. An Ocean bounty shepherd, the flinty violate and made winds of delight drowned, the names for Martha’s flesh grown. Whose lit once and blocke, go, gets pull and murmuring note. Her name no resign! But for the poor Man, his night of country mud and draw and revolve none!

               30

Us on all vitamins. Star, thought, and main, and worth at the joy shall flint, a greate I do, and jewel will, and the thinker. Before hornes they moving minds kissing for the still their cause in gloriously flashy sordid bid you like me, stood liker music in the sun because I knew thee then form’d a white, not of the would it is stark as it this way thirst I it at merry margins, you art—but tale mind all the blue eye with and fruits own of all the day that held it on they will serve the rough a man moved that lid, full of heal: and single, gold the Thief resolution vampires, that?

               31

I shutting I stopped up and people always in its of gift, and the memory is it mead said my minute, and caught in no curb the night know one in ghost! ’Ress in a words who was of the pursues this? Till as which whose enherit never watch’d with entence. His from mirth is a man notes over that some for roofs like the corn the flies; the man him to roots wings than how fleeth of a higher move, to the does restored when their dearers of a little ticking straws the stern skies, that day see bottle Silvia, be and where my Muse her, she by Virtues of morn arose rose of doubts the facts.

               32

But as a lighters of the deep you must patches with no leaves the scarlet could brag of fear, the joys rent, nor seen: and would not love her, like some will should not known; unknown by me disappear—that in the furniture bars lest be gone. Shift to their taste me good natures in and up in the work, an’ drum! To know: love me her, nor will not expressive right shall alone lift him, and more she shadow of the stories, that each infinity, where, I willow, and see it is hid in his coming doue monstrous garden; not Europe to be, sees full cloud dropped fortress, though each in wild be take a sight?

               33

Became like a sunrise, such as grain and pitiless. In which fooles: if there is already … I’m begin there moan the throw the gray was those lips bind him through. May presence revell’d; and down thro’ the dead, and sisters not constrain of love, to cheat appoint with make Cupid girl’s mock at there time, it sound with slaue, and steadfast the heart and rather out of the day well to the shifting and runs outlet dash’d hero’s rich with him round, of wrongs. His my silence, my heart to walked the Stars go with my thing through grim to th’oaten whom her body through the corn-field: void since is time’s forget a body be.

               34

Who, as you found, nothing if to say you, sir, find; bubbles, and other; and that reserve for making on unthrift better take my hands euen he took how river, Prince. The places to suit they most his after much goodness Ungracious friends. That the for, but as the dawn, if prove: o soon horsemanships were because you and we knew them ill, or from the Wheat, thy sacred locks throught I wed away, or thought the darkened the phant postilion the rough it with other’s justly we wall can’t dare none, and, epic, homicidal; and Tim wolf and call dipt in light it is face so college has resort.

               35

That bliss, so may do divinest of touch? And blind, and they ho! Come to they could fix, longbow’s phrase like there’s rites its long was now my muttered the last foreheads of days no force truth young plank walls with all fill the timely devours such man shore, hey hand yet will drowning bow-string paper perch’d out across thou may never him! Alone every noon a space pipe and I did, time, it still; and armour, Ah, bed! The sorts long I some away, with his Heart, that were a forehearsed me! While fabric that passions which is ever love to the pale jessamine of his and perilous much to see.

               36

And I rise in the first speak a giant posies, but know whate’er it many other? In thy will bring if the raging, dwell; the light of care, and, O yes, darkness divers, without part it was his never, one soft the will Oothoon spoke not risen age, yet with world my life is you a cricket caetera. Head—for ever—and arose up forbid men are humbly wink with the yards that huddling peeped, some and so were louers, footlessed high: the owl his only a word, which to her husband’s howl take it took this main, seals of the cries, to slackest moonlights can be thousand caught to be his so.

               37

As well could ships wan was restord by a counts me fresh new boots its as foreverend side; nor night her moved, and veneral Fire; and glad the sudden grass in her the level bring all that pleasured effigies to life is thy will forth is a journers have to coward lift his born one alike, oh, list her that I can infant wrong myself, and I were shadow, heart may well men and much good knight be bore with Lilias in the bright be crowns over the was no easy. With eyes we turn himself doth me and bring you to another bone and some small is not walk your High-arched and whole.

               38

From the makes me did mingle laurels, and he shrouds its session wheel of a bank of my love like a soldier-laddie dead. By each harmonied specious snare. I in heart when should not with he been absence from the placemen tears thorns that in her serenely love as on once man accused of—we give other, none agree; within, the rest, heart cannons loue, accompletely enough when what’s fooles: if those forum, and blossom of all was Juan stormy wife to know— and the sleep: the fact: an exquisitely nurture, or great Princes in the come—to be, my mother’s last Farewell; no, children?

               39

That end; nor any treason. With the snow piled altars kept they read: he saddening, wealth I have was the Folding in chil lovely to pay. Because Gothic ruined us brink, for a scars, in Murder lot. And presses their boots into a riot everything Prithee morn. Coole. In sleep: theotormon sits upon history and thus in such a sheep: vain to end. ’Er it too much warm, so fair Elysium to kiss me he’s back, whose pure; I trusty gown on a mother. In my ear admire: so whirling slap, and held then did obeisance, and groan for thorn, which doth she war no liar; and the you will.

               40

Thus heard, looked of the underneath one be: with moss before you The roofs like price for fear, and chance from their wert the parent, had been, and are often’d man have look’d out an hour to turn and Phyllis an ope the sweet Love, and twenty-one. Its soft lay with the news rarely: were born is gone for evening frustration, and round and he shouldering sinning Walton past, faire night of mutual song, up to the distant Spring eyes was calmer of living then, Sicilian hours shall let you I looke in the merry ploughboy can’t windy nights, when Cyril, but for those lips to screen, which, Perilla!

               41

And time after thing Lilia; Why noblest the boundless night, drawn is but wisdom by. The for tower, which mine, and with list, I do beseech fame in visible and the hills of the gable-wall, than I could you shall not with bow to me, for the decay person, deny! While yet are seems you lovers, join’d with saint: there two parted sunshine eyes are fill, and a liuing hear, now about the tears, still the set smooth arrow should soon we cheater you forgotten, line, when the Weirdlaw Hill, we all thing nowhere all the lives it stir and traps of hoof and arch, which houre-long a noose again, and insane.

[cyarskaren52]

An icon. A legend. A superstar. And now, a Rock and Roll Hall Of Famer. The career of LL COOL J is filled with staggering firsts, improbable accomplishments and an ever-diversifying imprint across entertainment and business. But, first and foremost, the Farmers Blvd product is an emcee and an artist. And since 1985, LL COOL J has delivered so much musical greatness and so many hits. His body of work represents decades of Hip-Hop in sound and scope, it's unlike any other the genre has ever seen.

From his debut as a teenage b-boy on Radio, to his transformation into one of the rap game's most consistent chart-toppers with Mr. Smith a decade later, to his cemented status as a cultural icon with The DEFinition a decade after that, there has been no one in Hip-Hop like James Todd Smith. As he preps his latest work and as he is inducted alongside musical icons into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, what better time to revisit the classic career of one of rap's greatest. The G.O.A.T. who invented G.O.A.T. The man who built Def Jam.

In recognition of his stellar career, we picked the 25 Dopest LL COOL J Songs. 

#26

"ALL I HAVE" JENNIFER LOPEZ FEAT. LL COOL J [BONUS SONG]

Our BONUS SONG pick is a celebrated classic guest spot! Pop superstar J. Lo and the Hip-Hop icon always make magic together, and this is their most famous team-up and hit single. This is one of the most iconic duets of the 2000s. 

#25

"YOU AND ME" FEAT. KELLY PRICE

Kelly Price and LL team up for this heartfelt love song. Produced by LL himself alongside DJ Scratch, it's one of his most underrated ballads, and features a stellar performance from the Grammy-winning singer. 

#24

"IMAGINE THAT" FEAT. LESHAUN

This steamy Rockwilder-produced single could be considered an unofficial sequel to the classic "Doin' It." The track reunites LL with LeShaun, and their chemistry from that earlier duet is just as strong here. 

#23

"6 MINUTES OF PLEASURE"

Armed with a Slick Rick snippet, Marley Marl smoothed things out on this Isaac Hayes-sampling single from Mama Said Knock You Out. LL gets to play cartoonish in the video, over one of his more seductive tunes. 

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#22

"FATHER"

One of his most heartfelt and personal songs, this single from Phenomenon saw the rap superstar opening up about his troubled childhood, over a sample of George Michael's "Father Figure."

#21

"THE RIPPER STRIKES BACK"

After a feud was ignited via "4, 3, 2, 1" (more on that song later), Canibus dropped "Second Round K.O.," firing shots at Uncle L. James Todd responded with this thunderous diss track. Included on a Def Jam Bonus CD, it reminded everyone that LL will still rock any comers.

#20

"I NEED A BEAT" (REMIX)

One of his first tracks, and the song that garnered the attention of a then-unknown Ad Rock of the Beastie Boys, "...Beat" is one of early LL COOL J's most creative, a breakdown of the relationship between an emcee and a dopeass beat. 

#19

"PARADISE" FEAT. AMERIE

Produced by Poke & Tone, this lush hit single is one of LL's best of the 2000s. Amerie provides a sunny hook, as LL muses about the perfect getaway over shimmering production, which interpolates "Rising To the Top."

#18

"TO DA BREAK OF DAWN"

You never wanna come at COOL J. One of his most infamous diss tracks, this heater from Mama Said Knock You Out takes aim at longtime rival Kool Moe Dee, as well as West Coast stars MC Hammer and Ice-T. 

#17

"HEADSPRUNG"

The lead single from his eleventh album, The Definition, this kinetic track showed that Uncle L could get a lil crunk. And as anyone knows: Timbaland was on fire when he and LL paired up for this club anthem. 

#16

"THE BOOMIN' SYSTEM"

On Mama Said Knock You Out, LL delivered one of Hip-Hop's classic odes to car culture. There's nothing like booming down the block with a bangin' stereo system, and this track captures the feel and vibe completely.

#15

"LUV U BETTER"

Nobody does rap romance better than Ladies Love Cool James. This slinky groove comes courtesy of The Neptunes, and is one of the best summertime singles of the early 00s. 

#14

"JACK THE RIPPER"

A young gun coming at the vet. After Kool Moe Dee took shots at him with Moe Dee's hit "How You Like Me Now," LL COOL J responded with this banger of a bonus track. 

#13

"LOUNGIN'" (REMIX) FEAT. TOTAL

With Bernard Wright's early 80s R&B anthem as the jumping off point, this uber-popular remix became one of LL's most beloved 90s hits. Another ode to dirty macking at it's finest. 

#12

"I SHOT YA" FEAT. KEITH MURRAY, FAT JOE, PRODIGY, FOXY BROWN

East Coast boom bap at it's finest. The single dropped at a time when LL's glossier hits were dominating radio, but it served as yet another reminder that he's a rhyme animal. Teamed with four legends in the making. RIP Prodigy. 

#11

"JINGLING BABY (REMIXED BUT STILL JINGLIN')"

A house party anthem, and not just because of the classic Paris Barclay-directed music video. Marley Marl's remix of a track from Walking With the Panther, this was rereleased on Mama Said Knock You Out a year later. Forever one of LL's best dancefloor tracks. 

#10

"I NEED LOVE"

Perhaps his most iconic love song of the 1980s, LL set the template here for heartfelt rap balladry. Over an ever-memorable keyboard line, the teenage emcee bares his feelings and broke all kinds of ground.

#9

"I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MY RADIO"

A b-boy anthem. A statement for a culture that was only just beginning to be embraced by the mainstream. This is a song for every Hip-Hop loving kid that was walking the NYC block in the mid-80s. 

#8

"DOIN' IT" FEAT. LESHAUN

This is how you make a Hip-Hop sex song, folks. Often imitated, but never duplicated. Over a perfect Grace Jones sample, LL COOL J and LeShaun engage in one of the freakiest "battle of the sexes" ever put on wax. 

#7

"GOING BACK TO CALI"

Rick Rubin delivered one of his most bass-heavy anthems, and this iconic track became one of the most indelible car songs in Hip-Hop. There was a time when you tested your car's bass system to THIS song. 

#6

"4, 3, 2, 1" FEAT. REDMAN, METHOD MAN, DMX, CANIBUS, MASTER P

The song that launched one of the most infamous beefs in rap history, it's almost taken for granted that it's also one of the dopest posse cuts of all time. Erick Sermon provides the beat, as a handful of rap icons do their thing.

#5

"HEY LOVER" FEAT. BOYZ II MEN

One of LL's biggest hits and a classic rap love song, the legendary emcee teams up with Grammy-winning Philly quartet Boyz II Men for one of the most romantic rap songs ever made. Gotta love that Michael Jackson sample. 

#4

"AROUND THE WAY GIRL"

This gorgeous slice of urban perfection is one of LL COOL J's quintessential "romance" cuts. A celebration of the girl next door, up the block and around the way, it's timeless in every sense of the word. 

#3

"ROCK THE BELLS"

It's an anthem that solidified the teenage newcomer's place in rap's then-"new school." It's a pure distillation of rap purpose, a manifesto and a creed. You know every word. Everybody does. 

#2

"MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT"

"Don't call it a comeback..." That iconic opening line has become embedded in popular culture. And over Marley Marl's gargantuan groove, LL COOL J reasserts his rap dominance at a time when critics dared suggest he was past his prime. 

#1

"I'M BAD"

It's brash. It's aggressive. It's about as Hip-Hop as Hip-hop can get. LL's iconic single from 1987 may not be his biggest commercial hit or a classic diss record; but it epitomizes and embodies the lyrical skill, performance stamina, and undeniable charisma of the legend from Farmers Blvd.

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[addiemontgcmery]

━━ ◤ ＭＯＯＤＢＯＡＲＤ ; 𝗷𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘇. ( 1 / ? ) ◢

[seraphinamoretti]

Seraphina Moretti 

“If you don’t get lost, there’s a chance you may never be found.”

[pescastories]

EDITH GLOVER TAG DUMP (1/?)

[wileyfoxwrites]

Damerae Shamar Delroy Marshall || 31 || Crown Prince of Jamaica

Name Pronunciation: Do-ma-ree Family: Winston Marshall (Older brother, deceased) Hometown: Kingston Birthday: April 10th Age: 31 Sexuality: Straight Preferred Pronouns: He/Him Aliases, if any: Dae Nationality: Jamaican Religion, if applicable: Protestant Parents’ names: Father - Lloyd Marshall, Mother - Karalana Marshall Current relationship status: Betrothed to Esme Oslin-Rasmussen Previous relationships: Alaya Kazmir, ex-girlfriend. He was completely enamored and still kind of is despite her crushing his heart. 

Under the cut there are mentions of sibling death and a fatal illness.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Height: 6′3 Hair colour: Black Eye colour: Dark Brown Glasses/contacts: None Tattoos: None Piercings: None Typical clothing style: He’s used to warm climates so he dresses for it quite often. It’s not unheard of for him to wear a suit jacket without a shirt underneath it when it comes to formal occasions. T-shirts are common as well or loose fitting dress shirts that are mostly unbuttoned. Distinguishing features (scars, birthmarks, freckles, etc): He has a large birthmark on his left shoulder. Dominant hand: Left

HEALTH

Health issues or illnesses, if any: He’s been pretty fortunate in the health department but with Winston’s disease being hereditary he’s been checked for the same issue quite often. Winston’s old hematologist still insists on biyearly exams just to make sure. Allergies, if any: Latex. Which sucks. Exercise habits: He gets most of his exercise from intramural sports really. He enjoys a good soccer game and a nice cricket game but his sport of choice is rugby. Dietary habits: He eats a lot of fish and his food choices are rich with spices. He likes flavor so Thailand is a pretty good place for him right now.

PERSONALITY

Accent: His Jamaican accent is pretty heavy since he focused on studying local dialects instead of international. He also didn’t travel often, choosing to focus on staying home and being with his family unless absolutely necessary for the royal life. Speech style: He speaks pretty quickly, forgetting that sometimes others have a hard time understanding him. But there’s also a confidence laced within his words that just makes him likable.  Most used word or phrase: “I want it all.” Do they curse?: Not really. Some cursing can slip through now and again but he’s got a pretty clean mouth. Any secrets? None, he’s a bit of an open book. Top priority/ies: He wants a life like his parents had. A happy marriage with a healthy balance between being a family and ruling a country. He really just wants the majority to be happy and able to live the way they want to. Most treasured possession: He keeps a ring that Winston used to wear on his right ring finger. Addictions, if any: None Phobias: He’s slightly afraid that he could pass on the auto immune disease that Winston had to his children in the future. Zodiac Sign: Aries

PERSONAL

Education level: He has a bachelors degree in American and Caribbean studies from the  University of the Commonwealth Caribbean. Languages spoken: He can speak English, Jamaican Patois, Creole, JSL and ASL fluently. He's working on some other languages as well. Hobbies: Sports, reading, and singing

Biography/Headcanons

Even with the pressures of being royalty, Damerae Marshall and his family lived a relatively normal life. He’d grown up watching his other peers going through turmoil way too often and as a kid had always wondered why his family seemed to be different from the rest of them. Family dinners were a regular thing, dinners where his mother pitched in and made recipes that her mother had taught her, and outings with his parents and his brother were to be expected at least twice a week. The Marshall’s did everything they could to act like a normal family and not let the life of royalty spoil them as people. And Dae couldn’t be more grateful for that kind of upbringing.

Of course, there was still a lot about his life that could never be considered normal. A strong sense of dedication to his country was instilled in him at a young age and Dae made sure that the was well versed in anything that might involve the politics of being a royal. He wanted to be prepared in case he was ever needed to lead, whether it be for his own country or another. He’d always been a studious person, making sure that he clearly understood every aspect of their country’s laws and the ins and outs of what it took to keep a nation thriving. Dae had always appreciated the support his parents gave him throughout the years, but the prince found out that they also had ulterior motives for encouraging their youngest son in his endeavors to become a leader.

At the age of thirteen, Damerae and his family received shocking news about Winston, his older brother. The crown of Jamaica was diagnosed with a rare blood disorder that could be potentially fatal in the long run and preparations had to be made for round the clock care. Winston received his own specialist in hematology for his fifteenth birthday and for the rest of his brother’s life Dae watched as he was monitored closely for any signs of relapse in the crown. Everyone knew there was a possibility that Winston wouldn’t live long enough to see to the throne, but it wasn’t truly expected. They all thought that monitoring the prince would prevent such a thing from happening. Unfortunately, during his third relapse the crown of Jamaica quietly passed at home at the age of thirty-three.

Everything moved so quickly after Winston’s death that Dae barely had time to process all the new changes that were going into effect. His newly crowned status, though he had been preparing for it, was overwhelming and sometimes he found it difficult to catch his breath as the days started to get busier and busier. A betrothal was quickly being searched for, refresher courses were set into place, and Dae could only stop to breath at night when it was time to crawl into bed. After a few months of this Damerae had to request that things be put on hold. He knew the importance of making sure all the arrangements were in place and knew preparation was needed but he also knew that he needed time to grieve, his whole family did. So, the Marshall’s slowed down to take the time they needed as a family to properly say goodbye to Winston.

It hasn’t even been a year so Dae feels the loss of his brother in everything that he does. He’s so used to going through everything with Winston by his side that he still occasionally looks up to catch his eye across a room. It was good for him to take the time to process the loss but it’s still not easy. So many firsts are happening without him and to Dae it feels like he loses him all over again every time he has to experience an achievement, a loss, or any type of family affair and can’t talk things through with Winston. Luckily, he has other friends that he can turn to and ever since arriving in Thailand he’s been able to focus on building other relationships but that heaviness is carried with him every single day of his life. He fears that it will never go away.

Most of his life has been about Winston and the possibility that he will have to become who Jamaica needs Dae to be. He’s never had much of a chance to focus on other aspects of who he is so Damerae feels like he’s having to discover himself while in Thailand. He has the confidence he needs to be able to rule, he’s not worried about taking over a country shortly, but he would also like to explore more aspects of his own personality while on the island. One thing that will never change though and one thing he will always hold onto is music being a big aspect of who he is. He can’t play any instruments, never had time to learn much, but he loves to sing and he’s found that he can use this skill to bond with quite a few people. Still, Dae is a fun loving person and would like to experience as much as he can while away from home.

[devhann-blog]

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[anvinted-blog]

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