#nothing against early access games!! i have so many in my library but they break my heart a lil

[yepiamthesmileyface]

gamer fridge (steam library) is full but nothing to eat... anyone got farming sim type game recs that aren't in early access? fantasy elements favored, but not crucial...

[and-cactus]

I posted a little while ago about 9S and how I was noticing his hidden intentions through the game back when I hadn’t beaten the game yet and I wanted to rework my thoughts now that I’ve finished the game, had some time to process everything, and watched a few youtuber’s analysis on the game.

I said it earlier but I think it still holds true: 9S’ biggest flaw is denial to an extreme. He spent the first half of the game denying any possibility of machines having emotions and is constantly pushing “nothing machines say has any meaning” “they don’t understand anything. They aren’t like us” which is extremely important to keep in mind.

9S is a scanner type and a good one, so good that on all of his missions, 2B was assigned right next to him to kill him on the off chance he started learning anything that he shouldn’t, starts poking his nose in any confidential files that he shouldn’t have access to (which, in route c’s beginning, 9S shows he’s capable of doing very easily as he found confidential data pretty easily in the server.) ((he found the data by following a sound he heard when resyncing and the sound turned out to be a recording of his own voice, I’m still unsure of the significance of that but that applies elsewhere))

So basically 9S’ theme is that he denies everything. He’s smart, he should’ve realized that the machines were mimicking humans and developing emotions and speech patterns as they defied their usual “kill everything and kill it hard” behavior, he calls it “odd” early game whenever they encounter machines who aren’t immediately hostile so this behavior should be noteworthy to him. Chances are that 9S did actually realize, but as I said, he denies it so he doesn’t have to feel anything when he kills them.

At the end of the game when the twist is revealed of 2B really being 2E (seems kinda dumb but the YoRHa boys stage play did the same thing so I guess command just kinda... does that or whatever). Anyway yeah, 2B = 2E, A2 learned that in the library, but when she presents that to 9S her immediate follow up is “but I bet you already knew that, didn’t you...” which is a lot to take in. I know personally I heard that and thought “how the hell would he know that” but he’s a scanner so he could have access to WAY more data than we initially knew. Other than that, it sort of makes sense for him to know. 9S denies so much, if he wanted I’m sure he could’ve hacked 2B and shut her down, go rogue like A2 and be furious “command sent her to kill me, command was plotting against me.” Instead, 9S just ignores it and let’s himself spend time with 2B, get attached to her, love her, even when he knew this girl was created to kill him (and her “why does it always end like this” line after killing 9S after the Eve fight, she seems to imply she’s killed other scanner types before, data 9S should definitely have access to if he already knew so much.)

Finally, I want to talk about WHY he does this. I’ve talked extensively about just how much he denies before, he denies how machines act, denies his emotions, denies his bloodlust, denies his warped sense of love where he’s like Adam where the emotion he cherishes isn’t hate but bloodlust and killing. And that’s exactly why, he’s so similar to Adam. The YoRHa androids’ black boxes are made of the same material as the machine cores, they operate in the same way. As such, we have to look back to 9S describing the forest kingdom machines and how he mentions that machines will repeat the same kind of government over and over again. But yeah, the machines have difficulty learning from their mistakes. They make the Same mistakes over and over again, repeat the same behavior, trapped in a never ending cycle, etc etc. If denial is 9S’ “treasure”, the quality he is obsessed with and keeps repeating like Adam’s hate and Simone’s beauty, that means 9S CAN’T stop denying. He’s cursed to repeat this mistake, over and over and over again.

How many times has he ignored his true nature, 2B’s true nature? When 2B said “it always ends like this”, exactly how many times has she gone through these events of demonstrating emotions for 9S. You could even claim that emotions of love are 2B’s treasure she’s doomed to repeat on end, she tries to keep her distance from 9S at the beginning with her “emotions are prohibited” thing, but she falls into it anyway and has her heart broken again. How many times have they repeated this cycle of fall in love, deny their true role of Executioner, perform her role, get assigned to a new scanner, repeat. All those recordings of 9S talking about information, the recorded voice that called him to investigate the server and led to 9S discorvering the secrets of the moon server. 9S and 2B have been through all of this before and every time 9S learns something he shouldn’t have, whether that be the nature of machines or deeper secrets, he continues to learn these things and they love on through recordings as he’s killed by 2B and brought back to do it all again until he’s needed to be killed again. And neither of them can learn to break the cycle, which is why they only ever escape when 2B dies and 9S lives to break the cycle of Executions. That’s their nature to repeat, “it’s how we are programmed.”

[daleisgreat]

30 Years of Genesis: Going 30 Years Playing No More Than 30 Minutes of Sonic

This summer marks the 30th anniversary of the launch of the Sega Genesis in North America. I had such a nostalgia trip reliving my memories of the GameBoy while crafting my recent GameBoy 30th Anniversary piece, that it only seemed fitting that Sega’s iconic 16-bit platform gets the same honors of recounting my memories with it. If you are looking for a more authoritative historical piece on it I recommend either Phoenix IV or Console Wars. The former is a strictly informative recounting of the history of the system while the latter is an entertaining retelling done in the form of a novel after days of interviews with everyone involved. The following are my own personal experiences of playing the Genesis over the past three decades.

I remember first encountering the Genesis while spending either Thanksgiving or Christmas 1991 over at my older sister and brother-in-law’s house. I was only eight at the time, and remember being perplexed at the black gaming box and the thought that there could somehow be other systems than the good ‘ol NES. I did not subscribe to any gaming magazines at this point and I think I was still about a year away from experiencing Sega’s deluge of combative commercials against the SNES. During that holiday season of ’91 I recalled playing the first Streets of Rage on the Genesis with my little brother nonstop the couple days we were there. I remember being blown away by how superior it was graphically to what I experienced with other NES brawlers before like Double Dragon. We only got up to the stage where we faced off against the dueling karate sisters who kept whooping us and neither my brother nor I had the skills at the time to get past. The next year or two the only times I recall playing the Genesis were at my sister’s for the holidays or the occasional store kiosk. I remember my brother-in-law picked up other games we played regularly like ToeJam & Earl, Buster Douglas Boxing, Toxic Crusaders and PGA Tour Golf. I dug all of them, especially ToeJam & Earl where I had no idea what was happening half the time with its unorthodox level structure and item pick-ups, but loving the co-op gameplay, stylish graphics and its funky beats at the time. Brief memories of store kiosk play from the early 90s consisted of being horrible at the original Sonic the Hedgehog because it was too fast for my childhood noggin’ to comprehend. I also recall being confused at early editions of Madden Football at store kiosks because when I would press buttons to hike the ball ‘Audible’ would appear on screen and then eight or nine-year old Dale had no idea what that meant compared to easier pick up and play NES pigskin games I was conditioned to.

Until Christmas of 1995 I probably played no more than about 10 Genesis games all together. I was more aware of the system by that time thanks to reading magazines more regularly at that point and hearing from classmates who had the system, but until that point I was pretty loyal to my NES still (I did not get a SNES until late ’96). For the Christmas season of ’95 my best friend at the time who coincidentally lived three blocks away from me, Rich, received a Genesis and that was when I got a lot more hands-on time with its extensive library of titles. Rich and I shared a lot of similar game interests which at that time was a ton of sports games, fighters and action/brawlers. For the next several months I was over at Rich’s for countless sleepovers and going nuts with fighters like Mortal Kombat II and Evander Holyfield’s Real Deal Boxing. Real Deal Boxing blew away Buster Douglas Boxing with more authentic boxing gameplay and an insanely thorough career mode where we would take a created boxer and move him up the ranks as champion until his skills gradually weakened with age to force his retirement. We absolutely ate up the sports games at that time. We played what seemed like an infinite amount of Madden NFL ‘97. A much wiser 13-year old Dale was no longer befuddled by the intricacies of Madden and we had so much fun with it. We would create many players to deck out our teams and keep running blitzes to try and injure the players because there was an intense bone-breaking injury sound effect that we ate up. It was like the equivalent of Favreau and Vaughn going nuts in Swingers when they made Gretzky bleed in NHLPA ‘93.

Mutant League Football was another favorite of ours that made that injury sound effect in Madden child’s play. EA also made MLF and it was the equivalent of NFL Blitz at the time with larger-than-life mutants and animals literally killing each other on the field with over-the-top hits. It was possible to force a team to retire due to killing off too many of its players which was always our desired objective! If you have not played its spiritual successor follow-up, Mutant Football League on PS4/XB1 I give it the highest of recommendations because it perfectly capture the sensation of the Genesis game while bringing it up to contemporary standards. We also played a lot of EA’s violent driving game, Road Rash II. Being able to race motorcycles and knock out your competition with chains and nightclubs while trying to evade the cops seemed revolutionary when playing it for the first time! We later discovered EA’s take of Road Rash on rollerblades in the awesome rollerblade stunt/racing game Skitchin’! Fun fact about Skitchin’ is that the competitors you race against have gnarly nicknames like ‘Thrasher’ and ‘Jackal’ and thus in ’96 was the origin of how I came up with what wound up as my online handle but at the time was my radical Skitchin’ username, ‘Gruel’ to blend in with the rest of the pack and have stuck with it all these years later!

After spending several months devouring a good dozen or so Genesis games with Rich, it did not compare to the summer of ’96 when Rich signed up for the Sega Channel! I remember it launched in 1994 and seeing commercials for it at the time where it seemed too good to be true where for about $15/month would net the user a Genesis cartridge that would connect to a cable line and get the Genesis online streaming access to a rotating 40-50 Genesis games a month. That is right, decades before services like OnLive and Playstation Now, the Genesis did streaming gaming back in ’94 and it worked like a charm! Check out this pristine archival footage of the menus to see how it all worked. Sega Channel essentially was what Xbox Game Pass is today, and I am surprised to hear how little it is discussed when people reminisce about the Genesis. We discovered so many new games this way and for that entire summer I was over at Rich’s about three to four days a week binging on Sega Channel games until Rich’s dad got on my case because I was over so often. I remember discovering new sports games on there like the innocuously titled Super Volleyball that we became somehow addicted to and the surprisingly awesome Tiny Toons ACME All-Stars that had its own killer spin on arcade basketball and soccer that it played like NBA Jam but filled with crazy Tiny Toons power-up attacks. Sega Channel is what additionally exposed me to co-op games like General Chaos, the Streets of Rage sequels and Gain Ground and classic single player games like Shadowrun, Comix Zone and Vectorman that Rich and I took turns trying to keep progressing through. Sega Channel also was my first exposure to the classic Bomberman franchise with many nail-biting rounds played of Mega Bomberman! It came as no surprise to me when I finally bought a Genesis a few years later in 1999 that the first games I hunted down for it were those same games I first discovered on the Sega Channel! In April of 1999 shortly after I turned 16 I got my first after-school job and after a few paychecks I went to Wal-Mart to determine what should be one of the first games to buy on my own! This was around the time when Majesco re-released the third, mini-sized Genesis model at a discount price of around $30. I was legit stunned at that price for a brand new system, even if it was for a ten-year old platform at that time I could not help but instantly snatched it up!

If you read my GameBoy special from several weeks back you will recall my lamenting over its lackluster wrestling games compared to the superior ones on the 16-bit platforms. On Genesis, Rich and I played way too much Royal Rumble on the system. Other wrestling games I picked up for the Genesis over the years was the inferior predecessor to Royal Rumble in Super Wrestlemania. While I had a blast with Rumble way back when, it regrettably does not hold up well all these years later with its over-reliance on a button mashing grapple meter that obliterated thumbs that I have no idea how I tolerated at the time. Saturday Night Slam Masters was a unique wrestling game from Capcom. It is essentially Street Fighter II in a wrestling ring, complete with victory taunts, Mike Haggar from Final Fight in its roster and even has a few wrestling moves sprinkled in! I loved how they had over-the-top laser light entrances and larger-than-life character sprites at the time, and I recall enjoying the Genesis version more than the SNES. There was nothing else like it since, and on occasion I will still throw it in every couple of years. I continue to hope one day Capcom will release its sequel, Ring of Destruction in a random collection of arcade games because it never got a home port all these years later.

Sports games ruled on the Genesis! Pictured from clockwise at top left is Holyfield's Real Deal Boxing, NHLPA '93, Super Volleyball and Tiny Toon ACME All-Stars I mentioned some of my favorite sports games for the system above, but it really needs to be emphasized how big sports games were on the Genesis. Both Sega and EA pumped out a seemingly endless line of sports titles for the system. I remember getting into silly speculation with Rich over how much extra memory that yellow tab on the EA carts allowed EA games to play better. For hoops titles I got my NBA Jam and Live fix on SNES, but on the ‘ol Genny my go-to basketball games were the oft-forgotten NCAA skinned version of Jam in College Hoops. I occasionally also threw in the hand-me-down street ball version of NBA Jam in Barkley Shut up Jam. I loved Madden, but Sega’s Joe Montana line of gridiron games were just a notch or two below too. For baseball, Sega’s World Series Baseball titles were in a league of its own when it came to gameplay and presentation with its larger-than-life hitter/batter perspective. For hockey EA’s NHL line was/is legendary! About four or five years ago my friend Derek gave me a ring to come over for some impromptu random gaming and he never played much Genesis before so when he got over I had the Genesis hooked up and laid out all my games for it and of that night we had the most fun playing a few rounds of NHL ‘94. At that point it was a 20-21 year old game and it still held up as one of the best hockey games of all time.

For brawlers I loved the Streets of Rage games, but I think it is my secret shame that I have yet to complete a single one. That must one day change! I did love the exclusive Genesis TMNT game, Hyperstone Heist! It was right up there with Turtles in Time and every couple of years my friend Matt and I make it a ritual to plow through that game. After many attempts we also conquered the Genesis port of the awesome arcade brawler, The Punisher! It does not have as friendly of a continue system as Hyperstone Heist so Matt and I had to learn to play a little more conservatively and not rely on mindless button mashing. It felt gratifying to have all that hard work pay off and beat The Punisher….until we got a copout ending screen of text saying ‘Now play like the Punisher and try hard difficulty.’ We did not, but I wound up looking up the ending several years later and at least Capcom made it worth your while because it had a far more intricate ending than many other brawlers at the time. The one Genesis brawler that always had our number was Captain America and the Avengers. It is a lot of fun to play, but it does not allow that many credits and by setting ourselves up with the max lives and continues that game was still a beast, and even playing conservatively and having so many attempts we only managed to make it to the final boss, The Red Skull, only once. Let us fast track to about a little under 10 years ago when a co-worker approached me about being interested in buying his Genesis/Sega CD/32X along with a couple dozen games. He was saving up to pay off his upcoming wedding and he gave me a list of everything he had along with prices for everything he wanted going by what he saw off eBay auctions. I did some price researching of my own and made him an offer of around $250-ish for the ‘tower of power’ and about 20 games combined for all three systems. Looking back I accidentally lucked out with that offer because it was only a couple years later when 8/16-bit prices on the used market took a huge jump. I never had a must-have desire for a Sega CD or 32X, but there were always a couple of games I wanted to play on them that I eventually hunted down. I liked the versions of WWF RAW, Doom, Virtua Racer and especially Virtual Fighter the most out of my dozen 32X games. I recall as a then 10 and 11 year old being disgusted by early polygonal console games like Star Fox and Virtua Racer and was more on board with FMV games being the future, but remember being a little taken aback by Virtua Fighter indicating that there may be something to these 3D polygons. The 32X version is a surprisingly faithful version to its arcade counterpart.

I need to dive into my SegaCD games more one of these months. I hunted down all the must own titles for it like the Working Design RPGs, Shining Force CD, enhanced versions of Amazing Spider-Man and Batman Returns and Snatcher which I hope to one day knock off my gaming bucket list. Regrettably now my only SegaCD games I invested a decent amount of time into are WWF Rage in the Cage (essentially Super Wrestlemania but with some FMVs and a bigger roster), Slam City with Scottie Pippen (a abysmal FMV-based street hoops title) and the underrated SegaCD exclusive brawler, Prime. I am a huge Ultraverse comic nut and I ate up Prime on SegaCD since it was the only game released featuring characters from that comic book line before Marvel acquired them and cancelled all their books within a couple years (yes, I am still bitter over it). It is only one player, but Matt and I spent a few attempts taking turns at beating levels until we finally vanquished it. We even had an attempt thwarted when Prime was loading the final boss battle when a flipping blackout halted our progress! As memorable as that moment is I will instead forever associate Prime with its unrivaled and unforgettable opening theme music (seriously….give it a listen!). I need to give a shoutout to the official handheld Genesis, aka the Nomad! My brother surprised the hell out of me one year with it for a birthday present. My favorite Nomad memory is my brother getting hyped for getting his own version of Genesis Shadowrun and I told him I would come over and bring my Nomad and my version while he played on his television and we could both start off our own new game and exchange tips and hints in a friendly rivalry type of way. I think my brother must have gotten the Genesis version of Shadowrun mixed up with the completely differently designed SNES version because he tried to run around aimlessly and gun down everything which is not how you want to play the Genesis version. We were planning that day out for weeks and I remember being stunned after about 15 minutes when I was starting to sink my teeth back into Shadowrun’s cyberpunk action-RPG brand of awesome when my brother out of nowhere went ‘screw this, let’s play something else!’

As I wind down I want to give many thanks to Sega for keeping the Genesis relevant throughout this century with its gratuitous re-releases of physical and digital collections. I have no idea why, but I keep on buying them for the convenience of having them for the latest system. It started with the Sega Smash Pack on DreamCast seeming like a killer value in 2001 for 12 games for $40. Then a few years later on PS2 I snatched up Sega Genesis Collection which seemed like an even better value with just over 30 games for $30! Then in the 360/PS3 era along came Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection which offered 40 games for $30!! Sega also sold a lot of the games ala carte via each console’s digital storefronts. Then last year we got Sega Genesis Classics on Xbox One/PS4 with 50 games for $30!!! The last several years Sega also has been licensing out to At Games to release their own pre-programmed Genesis mini console with dozens of pre-installed games. I held off on getting those after hearing how awful its emulation and shoddy production quality is, but after hearing how Sega finally decided to manufacture their own Genesis Mini themselves this fall and handed off the emulation duties to the acclaimed emulation studio M2, I could not pre-order fast enough! I have no idea why I keep deep diving down this well, but hats off to Sega for keeping me coming back again and again! Similarly with my GameBoy flashback piece, I had an unorthodox experience with the Genesis. I was not a hardcore Sonic or Phantasy Star player like the average Genesis owner. If you ask me any day of the week my answer to what my favorite Genesis game is, it could be either The Punisher, Madden NFL ‘97, Shadowrun, Hyperstone Heist, NHL ‘94 or Skitchin’. That is another thing that made the Genesis great was its mammoth library of diverse titles so there was no doubt something for everyone! With that I will put the kibosh on this look back of my favorite moments with the Genesis as I anxiously await for my pre-order of the Genesis Mini to arrive in a few months! Want more Genesis Love from me in Audio and quasi-video form? I was looking through my hard drive archives and a decade ago while I was still doing my videogame podcast, On Tap, we did a special 20th anniversary special on the Genesis where my co-hosts and I reminisce about the Genesis. I went ahead and uploaded it on YouTube so if you want even more Genesis takes then click here to give it a listen! Also recorded throughout 2009 from the On Tap archives was installments from our history of comic book videogames series. In this next episode I uploaded to YouTube is the second part of series where we breakdown every single comic book licensed game on the SNES and Genesis! My co-host Matt and I did thorough research for this episode and played almost nearly every single comic book game from this era in preparation for the episode to give the most up to date research and to see if these games (of which a vast majority are beat-em-ups) still hold up. Click here to give it a listen! My Other Gaming Flashbacks GameBoy 30th Anniversary

[hekate1308]

Stuck Wheel

More living!Crowley because I can and the nile is more than a river. 

Read it on AO3

Somehow, he had never contemplated that they would eventually, inevitably come in contact with demons.

He’d just been... so busy getting used to this life, to actually feeling happy for the first time in... centuries, it had never occurred to him.

And yet at the same time some deep-rooted instincts resurfaced now that he was back where he belonged.

They were working a case in Wisconsin. Possession was a possibility, so Dean had drawn a demon trap in front of the door and their motel room.

Crowley opened it and automatically stopped.

Dean turned around.

“Hey, did you get the grub...” he trailed off and laughed.

“Once more for old times sake?”

“I forgot” he grumbled, passing over the devil’s trap like it was nothing because that was exactly what it was to him, these days.

“You used to put me in one often enough”.

“Well you kind of deserved it in the beginning”.

He rolled his eyes.

It turned out that possession was not only a possibility, but the solution, and soon enough they had a black-eyed son of a bitch in another devil’s trap.

Crowley should have known he’d come after him.

“Your Majesty” he snarled, “oh how they might have fallen. I didn’t believe you’d come back when I first heard of it”.

“Never count him out, isn’t that the same mistake all of you made from the beginning?” Dean asked.

“Of course you would say that, his number one fan boy...”

“I thought it was the other way around” Crowley said, “you should get your stories straight”.

“Oh, it speaks. And here I thought these days you are just the Winchester’s attack dog”.

“Not a good insult” Cas said. “It was levelled at me too once, you know”.

Crowley grinned at him.

“Want me to do the honours?”

After the exorcism, he reflected that now every demon in Hell must know and believe that he had returned.

And just like that, Crowley wasn’t just a member of the time anymore.

He was a security risk.

But when he brought it up, the boys wouldn’t hear of him leaving.

“Come on Crowley” Dean said, “We’re all targets here. You’re no special just because you were King, once”.

“But they hate me especially...”

“Because they like us so much better?” Cas asked.

“I just... I don’t want you to get into trouble because of me”.

“Have you met us?” Sam said. “We got into trouble long before we ever met you”.

If there was one thing he would never have seen coming, it was the Winchester more or less ordering him to stay with them.

Juliet whined from somewhere next to Dean.

He reached to scratch her behind the ears, earning a happy bark.

Little traitor.

“Guess I’ll stay, then” he said lightly.

But he was still worried. Naturally he’d be a target for every single one of the whiny nothings he’d had the displeasure to command for several years.

He should have known better when Ramiel hadn’t wanted the job. Yes, all the Princes of Hell had chosen to leave eventually, but still – what demon wouldn’t even be tempted by power? He’d been an idiot.

It had all laid him to his room in the bunker, though, and he was reasonably sure he’d never feel as content anywhere else.

So when Juliet came slinking into his room later that night, he sighed, patted the spot on the bed next to him and said, “Don’t worry girl, we’re not leaving”.

Maybe some of the demons, the smarter ones, had counted on it. Maybe they had suspected that he would stay, that even as a human he was too selfish to leave.

The point was, he should have known. He should have foreseen what would happen.

But instead, he went on a milk run one day (quite literally; Dean had cut down his drinking considerably, to their relief) and later woke up.

And yet he didn’t.

He slowly became aware. That was probably the most accurate description he could give.

He became aware, and he was moving.

No; his body was moving; he had little to do with it.

In fact, he had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Why was he walking back to his car when he definietyl wanted to stop?

And then he realized.

That’s right, a voice chuckled in his mind, Good Day, Your Highness.

“What did you do to my tattoo?”

I cut through it. It was easy enough once I had you.

“Let go off me right this instant!”

Really? You think it will be that easy? Oh no.

“What are you going to do?”

What do you think? You’re the one who betrayed us, and now you’ve turned human too. Pathetic. I’ll skin the Winchesters and their angel alive, and you’ll watch.

“The Hell I will”.

Ah, yes, Hell. You hated it from the beginning, didn’t you? And we were so stupid as to fear you. You. Look at you.

“I’d rathe you not look in a mirror; you’d only realize just how good I look”.

You think you can be sassy? To me?

Crowley was thinking fast. While he was human, he didn’t think of himself as quite so average as to be unable to break through one pithy demon’s control. It couldn’t be just any minion possessing him.

“Elliott?”

He’d been one of the strongest black-eyed demons he’d met. Crowley had always been careful around him, lest he suddenly grew a backbone; and it seemed he now considered himself superior to him.

What a pathetic piece of –

I have access to your thoughts. You know that, right? To your every memory. Oh my, we do have a terribly sweet spot for the elder Winchester after all, don’t we?

“None of your business”.

It is my business. I have to play you convincingly, you see. I don’t think it’ll be hard; they don’t care enough to pay attention to your every move anyway.

He hated that the insult stung. It was just normal for demons to go after one’s insecurities, and yes, on his bad nights he still worried that the boys were just biding their time before kicking him out when he least expected it.

But he couldn’t allow himself to be distracted.

He couldn’t break through the control, at least for now.

It was time for a tactical withdrawal.

So that was exactly what he did. He built a small wall in a corner of his mind where he could hide behind, even as the demon (and when had he started to think of demons like this anyway? He remembered realizing it, back in the other world, when the other campers had talked about “us” and “them” and he’d suddenly found himself thinking of himself as part of “us”) taunted him some more.

They only took you in just to drop you in a short while, just you wait for it. I wish I could wait and watch, but that’s not really my style.

“Yes, I remember, your style is to cower before whoever’s in charge and hope not to get killed” Crowley said to distract while he was busy building his shields.

Look who’s in charge now.

Crowley found himself suddenly thankful for his habit of killing his own meat suits rather quickly after taking possession of them. This was one of the worst things he had ever experienced, and he remembered every second of his transformation into a demon.

It was just... disconcerting, not being in control.

I think I’ll keep Dean for last, Elliott said, trying to taunt him from his hiding place. I’ll make him watch me killing all the others, knowing it’s your fault, and then –

He didn’t listen.

He had better things to do.

Alright, so he had no control over his body at large; but as long as he was careful, and Elliott was still boasting...

Yes. There. He could wriggle the fingers of his left hand without him noticing – not much, you’d think if you didn’t know better.

But Crowley did.

Because he was certain that Elliott was making the same mistake as so many had demons and villains and whoever else had crossed the Winchesters’ path had made over the years.

He was underestimating them.

Especially Dean.

There was a reason he had never tried possessing someone close to them.

And so he let Elliott babble on and relaxed. For now.

He felt it when he entered the motel room.

He’d always known when the boys were near.

“Hello, boys”.

Alright, that wasn’t even a bad impression.

“Still side-stepping the devil’s trap, I see”.

“Old habits die hard, Squirrel.”

Crowley realized he couldn’t tell if Dean was suspicious or not.

If he’d had control of his throat, he would have swallowed.

The evening went on as it normally would have, but he desperately tried to tap Not me in Morse code against his thigh. He couldn’t do it all the time, of course, and he hoped that none of them would be stupid enough to ask.

Yes, he might just be a simple demon, but he could still do more than enough damage.

As far as he could tell, the boys were acting normal, which of course might just have been a ploy, but how was he supposed to know when he couldn’t see anything?

This was rather annoying.

Elliott now and then tried to get a reaction out of him, but stopped when he gave him nothing.

Demons. Pitiful, really.

But still dangerous.

And so he kept doing Morse code in irregular intervals.

Not me.

Not me.

Not me.

It seemed like they arrived back at the bunker, Elliott happily registering he was in “the Winchesters’ sanctuary” while Crowley swore if he even touched his book collection he’d kill him.

But then something strange happened.

“Crowley” Dean called out, sounding annoyed, “Can you please take your puppy for a walk? She’s about to wreak havoc in the library”.

Juliet was a very well-trained hell hound. She’d never dare to make a mess.

And Dean knew that. Very well.

Crowley closed his eyes (or would have, at least, if he hadn’t been imprisoned in his own mind) and conjured up the emotion of fond annoyance Elliott was probably expecting.

Ah, yes, your dog. Might be tempted to kill her, but that would give me away a little too early in the game, don’t you think?

He ignored him. There was no point in engaging in conversation.

Snarling.

Of course Juliet knew.

Good girl.

Sadly, the boys seemed to already have left the room.

“Shut up, you abomination. You were the only one ever loyal to him in Hell.”

He had to admit that hurt just a little. He’d tried his outmost to make life easier for all of them, but of course they couldn’t have just listened.

Stupid bastards.

“Come on”.

Elliott dragged Juliet across the forest floor.

He’d pay for that.

And yet, while he was preoccupied, Crowley managed to reach into his pocket –

Damn it, he’d used both of his hands to readjust Juliet’s collar. He’d wanted to text Dean.

I might bring in others to watch when I deal with your friends. After that... every demon in Hell would respect me.

“So that’s it? You want the throne? You could have it, but I suppose someone like you doesn’t have the metal capacity – “

Pain ripped through him.

Yes, he was really glad he’d killed that literary agent quickly all those years ago.

But thankfully, a surprise waited for them at the bunker.

Yes, he had memorized the position of every devil’s trap long ago.

Which was why he knew there hadn’t been one on the kitchen ceiling.

And that was where the boys were waiting.

“Got you, you son of a bitch.”

Dean. Thank God.

He felt Elliott’s rage and wished he could smile.

“Did you ever really think I came back human? I just knew – “

Dear God, was he really trying –

“How stupid do you think we are?”

Yes. Tell him, Dean.

“Well” he drawled, “I don’t see why a washed up ha-been should be a better companion than I am. I can offer you a bargain –“

“You know what? I’m not doing that. You’re hurting my friend, Juliet’s whimpering, so you were an asshole to her too, and I should have started dinner an hour ago. Cas, do the honours. Oh, and whoever you are, you son of a bitch: Tell the others that Crowley is our friend, and if you come after him, you come after all of us”.

He heard the beginning of an exorcism and then everything went black.

When he came to, unsurprisingly Juliet was lying next to him on the bed, occasionally barking happily, and Dean was sitting in his room, waiting for him to wake up.

“There you are. Everything alright?”

“Yes. Thank you”.

“Please. He was a terrible actor. I knew that wasn’t you the second you stepped into the room, even before you started sending out signals in Morse Code. But then I usually do with family.”

He told himself his eyes weren’t getting wet.

“I hoped you would”.

“Seriously, his micro expressions were all wrong... And you haven’t had that evil gleam in your eyes in years”.

He reached out to stroke Juliet and ensure she wasn’t hurt.

“The demons... by now every single one of them must know I’m back”.

“Yeah. But then, what’s a few demons?”

“We’re talking about all of Hell.”

“Which we’ve taken on several times already. We’ll be fine. Don’t even start”.

“You don’t know what I was about – “

“You were about to give me a noble speech how we’d be better off if you left. Spare me. I’ve been there myself”.

“So I don’t get a say?”

“Sure, you can leave, but I really hope you don’t, and I know for a fact you don’t want to”.

“Since you are such an expert, Squirrel – “

“On you, your Majesty? Hell yeah I am. Come on; dinner’s ready. Don’t worry, I put a medallion round your neck until we can get your tattoo fixed”.

When he was gone, Juliet rubbed her head against Crowley’s hand and sniffled.

“I know. Me too. Let’s go”.

And he got up to have dinner with his... family.

[fluffy-angry-liberal]

If all nationalism is bad, was Ireland's separation from the UK bad? I'm genuinely not trying to pick a fight, just painting all separatism with the same brush you can end up being overly broad in your conclusions. The Irish Passport podcast on nationalism. It's legitimately a good discussion of nationalism

This’ll be a longun and I haven’t slept much and can’t access my academic resources since I’ve graduated so a lot of this is from memory.

I’ll try and explain my thoughts as best I can but I can’t promise it’ll make sense.

Nationalism today is very different from the world even 70 years ago. Especially European nationalism.

Ireland breaking from the UK was brought upon by what can only be described as awful treatment by the British Government at an institutional level. Much the same can be said for India - Bengal Famine, anyone? - at the time.

Modern day nationalism seems instictively regressive in the world we live in, especially in the West. My experiences of studying and dealing with nationalists at university and in direct politics has most of it be much akin to the politics of Brexiteers who rely on a sense of “other” to blame for all issues.

My first girlfriend was Irish, and I visited Ireland and studied the Easter Rising and the subsequent conflict(s) that saw independence and civil war. It was an entertaining moment when a red blooded Irish man at one of the locations I visited challenged me on my view as an “English lad”, and I stunned him by saying that the Irish had every right to fight for their freedom given what they went through. It’s an interesting point that the Easter Rising didn’t have *that* much popular support until the public saw how the British treated the captives afterwards.

As the executions went on, the Irish public grew increasingly hostile towards the British and sympathetic to the rebels. After the first three executions, John Redmond, leader of the moderate Irish Parliamentary Party, said in the British Parliament that the rising "happily, seems to be over. It has been dealt with with firmness, which was not only right, but it was the duty of the Government to so deal with it".[136] However, he urged the Government "not to show undue hardship or severity to the great masses of those who are implicated".[136] As the executions continued, Redmond pleaded with Prime Minister H. H. Asquith to stop them, warning that "if more executions take place in Ireland, the position will become impossible for any constitutional party".[137] Ulster Unionist Party leader Edward Carson expressed similar views.[136][138] Redmond's deputy, John Dillon, made an impassioned speech in parliament, saying "thousands of people […] who ten days ago were bitterly opposed to the whole of the Sinn Fein movement and to the rebellion, are now becoming infuriated against the Government on account of these executions". He said "it is not murderers who are being executed; it is insurgents who have fought a clean fight, a brave fight, however misguided". Dillon was heckled by English MPs.[139] The British Government itself had also become concerned at the reaction to the executions, and at the way the courts-martial were being carried out. Asquith had warned Maxwell that "a large number of executions would […] sow the seeds of lasting trouble in Ireland".[140] After Connolly's execution, Maxwell bowed to pressure and had the other death sentences commuted to penal servitude.[141] - Wikipedia, Easter Rising

In the modern day no member of the UK see’s such brutal crack downs. We have a democracy and what’s more we have devolution. I want a Federal United Kingdom where there’s even more power to the devolved nations and ESPECIALLY the Welsh, who have a worse deal than Scotland because the Scottish Govt has done a better job getting money off Westminster.

When I speak of Nationalism I refer to it in the modern 21st century Western pressence. Nationalism in regions and unrecognised states like Tibet you can argue is an entirely different ballgame.

Scottish Nationalism especially annoys me as there is a great trend of “blame gaming” where even things that are completely under Scottish control is blamed on Westminster, partly because it’s the Tories. It feels reactionary rather than based on any true principle. Also I fundementally believe in the modern united and global world we have, more borders are a bad idea. Northern Ireland is a tricky case because obviously the right to self-determination is a thing but the hardcore “unionists” of Northern Ireland are arguably fueled by nationalism to a degree I cannot stand. It’s a strange case of “seperatism” in a “unionist” sense, even though I know plenty of Northern Irish who have no love for the English but are aggressively against the Republicans - you can imagine how much fun I had studying war studies with some of THAT lot. I lean in favour of a unified Ireland partly because geographically it makes sense, and politically Northern Ireland is a tricky case within the United Kingdom. Westminster keeps being put in control of it due to it’s Parliament not being able to form a stable government and so it becomes tricky to see it as a true part of the UK in a stable sense.

From a historical standpoint Scotland HAS had some vile treatment but not in recent years. Sure the Conservatives don’t treat them well but the Tories frankly don’t treat anyone well. I know people who were aides to Lib Dems during coaltion and you would not believe the arguments that went on behind closed doors. The Tories are very southern centric but that’s no reason to make a politics of seperation based on one groups bad politics, the North of England (define that how you will) has many gripes it can pick up with that. When I studied in Hull it was easier and faster for me to get home just outside of London than my friends to go half the distance by rail across routes not focused towards London. That’s not a nationalist issue that’s an issue for any Scottish, Welsh, North East, North West, Borders, Cornish, Northern Irish politican to try and take on.

Seperatism is a blunt instrument and in a world with devolution I don’t believe it’s necessary and in an ideal Federal world it’s not at all necessary. Especially if we manage to sort out this fucking Brexit bollocks. Scotland and the rest of the UK share a common culture, mostly the same land mass and putting up a border in the modern world seems stupid. Indeed a lot of what the Aye side argued would be the case made it feel more like technicalities than any real difference. A case of “stuff the Tories” rather than anything.

Civic Nationalism is a game of “otherness” and blaming on others beyond all else. “We don’t want that and so we need rid of them” is exactly the same argument every stupid thrice damned Brexiteer argues for, it’s civic nationalism to the extreme. Sadly having graduated I can’t access the things I used to but there was a wonderful article I wish I’d saved on our Library system that noted just how much Scottish Nationalist arguments for Independence crossed over with Brexiteer arguments for Brexit (ignoring the left-wing Brexiteers who had other gripes to pick).

To blanket suggest that civic nationalism was “progressive” seems entirely based around “Well I like this thing but not that thing”. 

Nationalism made sense in a world where the modern ideals of being a State mattered, or when your identity was being so brutally oppressed or put down often with armed force (Ireland early 20th century, potentially Tibet today). When it comes to states that have been somewhat forcibly made there are many arguments around re-drawing borders or the like, as seen in the Balkans and the middle east post-first world war - “Nothing more dangerous than a white guy with a map and a pencil, and he’s practically deadly if he has a ruler”. However all too easily “nationalist” forces get out of hand due to the very nature of their reliance on “otherness”. In a Western Democracy we have the priviledge and liberty to discuss these things and try and resolve it more simply, and in Europe we have a culture of crossing borders now in the post-war enviroment. The UK has existed for something like 300 years as it is, and Scotland isn’t so very different from England in any way other than which political party is currently dominant. Nationalism isn’t what’s needed anymore, nor is it healthy. And what is especially required is not to let the ghosts of the past dictate the politics of the future. Crimes must be owned up to, apologised for and the people educated on them, efforts made to fix it if necessary/possible/feasible. But people of my generation in Ireland who actively hate the English for our crimes there are no better than the 40 year old twats on telly here who rant about the Germans as if they’re still goose-stepping around in jack boots because they watched too many war films when they were kids. It’s all just civic nationalism and breeds otherness, dislike and nothing healthy in the modern world we have.

And that’s just nationalism. Don’t let me even get started on the economics of Scottish Independence even before Brexit was a thing. Or the fact that the SNP are hardly my favourite people as a group, regardless what their supporters dismiss.

This has been long and probably not very coherant, I last wrote an essay on this little sleep in finals but at least then I had Hull University Library to throw figures and facts whilst I argued about the differences between East-West Germany in the modern world.

And boy was that a fun topic to be had.

[swimintothesound]

Holiday Traditions, Metalcore Nostalgia, and Worshiping Our Own Past

Now that the holidays are upon us, it’s officially my power season. As much as I am a militant proponent of Having a Summah, Winter is a close second favorite for one reason, and that’s tradition.

Tradition is the all-encompassing, all-important, and infinitely-renewable source of holiday cheer. A celebration of our own past, and the past of our loved ones. It’s the one thing that makes this time of year truly precious and different from any other. Perhaps best of all, “tradition” is entirely unique from person to person; a double helix of reverence for our own history and memories.

Obviously, most people have traditions that they share with loved ones; picking out a Christmas tree, overeating at family dinners, watching specific seasonal movies, etc. Even the most atheistic household in the world probably has something unique that they do around this time of the year, even if it’s just going to the movie theater to avoid crowds. As great as those communal institutions are, I’ve been a staunch believer that the small, self-made traditions are as just as important as the big shared ones.

Tradition as a concept is so important to me that it was one of the first five posts I ever wrote on this site. Since I’ve already got multiple Christmas/year-end posts cooking up (and because I recognize my excitement for the holiday is offputting to some), I’ll instead use this specific write-up to focus on November.

Fueled by nothing but the endorphin rush of nostalgia and slavish devotion to the Christmas spirit, hyper-esoteric rituals begin to leak into nearly every aspect of my life by the time that Halloween is over. I watch specific episodes of TV shows, replay old video games, change the wallpapers on all of my devices, listen to old podcasts, and of course break out the winter music. In fact, one of the primary reasons for my seasonal exuberance is because I’m allowed to revisit music that’s only “acceptable” to listen to during these months.

As much as I love the gigabytes worth of Christmas music in my library, my “Winter music” playlist consists of much more than just on-brand holiday tunes. Over the years I’ve come to fully-embrace being the guy who gets into Christmas as soon as Halloween is over only because it marks the time of year that I get to break these songs out. Like I said, I’m not going to dip into holiday music on here yet. I don’t want to subject you guys to that much Christmas spirit, I’m merely trying to contain myself.

The point is that it would be a disservice to listen to these songs any time besides now, if only because it would make them less special. Obviously “Jingle Bells” would feel weird to listen to in July (and it does sound like a quirky character trait from a Noah Baumbach movie), but there’s just as much, if not more “regular” music that I relegate to the holiday season.

Case in point: the topic of this post. I tend to dip back into my high school-era metalcore around this time of year. Psychoanalyze that all you want, but I’ve now got a fiercely-cultivated playlist culling hundreds of songs from various years of angsty Christmases past. It’s a weird combination, but maybe this music provided me with some counter-programming that combatted both the warm holiday music and cold weather.

You can consider this write-up a bit of a pseudo-sequel to this post from earlier in the year about springtime metalcore. It’s weird because these two seasons are really the only time that I dip back into the genre, but man do I still have a soft spot for it. It’s mainly weird because these songs and albums now fill me with as much joy and holiday happiness as the tonally-inverse Christmas tunes.

At any rate, the same disclaimer on that earlier post applies here: I’m not necessarily proud of any of the music on this list, but it’s a concoction of albums that I find particularly potent. Records that have brought me years worth of happiness, and still have the power to collectively inspire me.

Artifex Pereo - Am I Invisible (2009)

Much like Julien Baker’s 2017 album, Am I Invisible begins with a single, eerie wooden creak. Perhaps belonging to an old floorboard or the frame of a handmade door, this haunted timbered gasp immediately gives the listener a sense of place, as if the entirety of Am I Invisible is settling into your headphones then and there. There’s a brief pause, and then the group’s vocalist Evan Redmon makes his presence known as he belts out the album’s title over a seemingly infinitely-layered vocal take. The remainder of the EP is a 25-minute sample platter that combines the best moments of Kurt Travis and Tilian Pearson-eras of Dance Gavin Dance. The album’s closing track “Neighbors” showcases the band’s already-sharp ear for songwriting, melody, and awe-inspiring emotionally-impactful build-ups. While the group only put out one more release with this early line-up, they still managed to capture something incredibly special on this early EP.

Bring Me The Horizon - Suicide Season (2008)

Back in high school, Bring Me The Horizon’s debut album, Count Your Blessings was the hardest thing I’d ever heard in my life. Filled with bangers like “Braille (For Stevie Wonder's Eyes Only)” and “(I Used To Make Out With) Medusa” multiple tracks from this album would go on to become genre-defining anthems for this era of the hardcore scene. As you could imagine, the record was an absolute revelation in 2007 and served as the first real brush with deathcore that I’d found palatable at the time. When stacked against the genre-wide impact of their debut, most fans went into the band’s sophomore album with near-impossible expectations.

Softening every aspect from vocals to instrumentation, Suicide Season represents the band’s fully-fledged pivot into a more accessible metalcore sound. While it initially fell flat for me, something kept calling me back to Suicide Season, and in 2017 it’s now my favorite album of the entire genre. Filled with immaculately-produced songs of bile and aggression, tracks like “Diamonds Aren’t Forever” have come to represent the absolute best that this scene has to offer. While the band has continued on a path toward an increasingly-accessible sound, Suicide Season is an achievement that remains an untouched peak of 2000’s metalcore.

A Bullet for Pretty Boy - Revision:Revise (2010)

Hailing from East Texas, A Bullet for Pretty Boy’s debut album is a near-perfect Woe, Is Me doppelganger. Featuring punchy driving instrumentation, tight glitchy drumming, and absolutely crushing breakdowns, every track on Revision:Revise is a pointed showcase of each band member. Guitarist Derrick Sechrist belts out catchy clean choruses, alternating vocal duties with Danon Saylor whose throat-shredding screams impress their weight upon the listener’s consciousness.

While each track is thoughtfully put-together, the album’s definitive performance comes in its final six minutes on “I Will Destroy the Wisdom of the Wise.” The track, which initially made its debut on the band’s 2008 demo, finds new life here thanks to two years of instrumental honing, and a newly-added Tyler Carter feature. It’s quite hard to oversell exactly how much I love this track, but up until last year the song had the unique distinction of my most-played song of all time, and if 200 listens isn’t a commendation then I don’t know what is.

“I Will Destroy the Wisdom of the Wise” is my single favorite song of the entire metalcore genre, my wonderful discovery, and lone takeaway after years of embedding myself in the scene. Every element of the song is immaculate, a marvel to have been captured and recorded in such a flawless state, forever encased in unchanging code. Every word is considered, the drumming is ferocious, every moment is well-placed, and the Tyler Carter feature is the vocal cherry on top of an already delicious sundae. A triumph of the genre.

Chiodos - Illuminaudio (2010)

Fronted by the inimitable Craig Owens, Chiodos was a trailblazing post-hardcore band whose 2005 sophomore album All's Well That Ends Well served as an entry point to the post-hardcore genre for millions of listeners. In late 2009 Chiodos announced their intention to carry forward as a band without Owens, publicly ousting one of the genre’s most seminal figureheads. Skeptical, cautious, and apprehensive, most fans went into the band’s following album with their guard up; how could the next guy possibly stack up? Like many other fans, I assumed I’d be over the band given the major pivot the comes with the changing of vocalists. In late October of 2010, a friend gave me an impassioned plea to give Illuminaudio a listen, and man am I glad he did. The record is a sprawling, conceptual, and voracious release that aimed high and still managed to surpass every possible expectation.

Much like his predecessor, Brandon Bolmer finds himself handling both clean and screamed vocals throughout the project, managing to reach both high-pitched Owens-esque croons and deep, soul-puncturing screams. The guitar and bass both sound full and rich, providing the perfect counterpoint to Tanner Wayne’s tightly-wound drum patterns. To put it simply, everything is on-point because the band wanted to prove their mettle now that the main star had left. Not only did Chiodos succeed, but they also created the best album in the band’s history and another one of my favorites in the metalcore genre. Owens’ eventual return in 2012 turned Illuminaudio into the unwanted black sheep of the Chiodos family, but in a way that makes this record all the more one-of-a-kind. Truly lighting in a bottle.

Crimson Armada - Guardians (2009)

With unrelenting vocals, and brutal machine gun-like instrumentation Crimson Armada’s debut album is a little rough around the edges but worth revisiting. The album’s title track “Guardian” alternates from fierce rapidly-spit screams to deep skull-crushing breakdowns. Similarly, “The Sound, The Flood, The Hour” is an absolutely punishing and ruthless track with a surprising amount of melody and musicality (once you adjust to the band’s vocals).

Dance Gavin Dance - Acceptance Speech (2013)

Far and away the most recent album on this list, Acceptance Speech released in the fall of my third year of college. While I’d largely grown out of the post-hardcore scene by 2013, Dance Gavin Dance remains the one group from the genre that I still listen to regularly. After numerous lineup changes, Acceptance Speech marked the band’s first release of its current incarnation featuring Tides of Man’s Tilian Pearson on vocals.

The album kicks off aggressively with “Jesus H. Macy,” luring long-time fans into a sense of familiarity with Jon Mess’ screamed vocals. The album is home to some of the band’s most experimental tracks like a crushing riff on “Carve,” chopped-up vocals on “Demo Team,” and the remix-ready “The Jiggler.” The album also hosts one of the strongest closers that the band has ever had on an album, making for a nice bookend of screamed Mess vocals.

While I didn’t think much of it at first, Acceptance Speech grew to be my favorite from the band. The entire record has a beautiful feeling uniformity and wholeness to it, making for one of the most pointed albums in the band’s discography. The whole thing has a wonderful haze to it, like it’s been filtered through a cold December night in the city. There are warm glowing lights, and you can practically see the steam rising off the band as they play. It was proof that Dance Gavin Dance wasn’t going to let one member stop them. I’m glad that they’ve continued with this lineup for so many fantastic releases now because this album only represented a new creative peak that the group set for themselves.

A Day To Remember - And Their Name Was Treason (2005)

A Day To Remember made a name for themselves in 2005 by embracing a unique mixture of metalcore leanings and bouncy pop-punk influences. While later albums are far more polished, fleshed-out, and nuanced, there’s something undeniably charming about the group’s debut. Every band member is still so young and green here, it’s endearing and inspiring to hear such a massively-successful and influential band in such a rough state.

Starting off aggressively with “Heartless,” the band eventually winds its way to the light with “You Should Have Killed Me When You Had the Chance” and “1958,” songs that offered glimmers of the group’s later brilliance. Even in this underdeveloped, underproduced, and underwritten state, there’s an undeniable appeal and magic at play on And Their Name Was Treason, and it’s easy to see how the band made a career out of jumping from pop-punk choruses to metalcore breakdowns. The first of many successful outings in an incredibly-fruitful career.

Dead and Divine - What Really Happened at Lover's Lane (2005)

Much like A Day To Remember’s debut album, Dead and Divine’s 2005 EP captures a band in its charming infancy. While their later full-lengths would go on to favor (and hone) a much more aggressive post-hardcore sound, What Really Happened at Lover's Lane features a softer, more careful approach to the genre. With crisp cleans and deeply-growled screams, each song explodes into brutal crescendos of original storytelling. The band’s masterful approach to the build-up is best exemplified by the album’s closing track “Goodnight, Quiet City,” an acoustic ballad that suddenly erupts into a fierce wall of grief before finishing in an orchestral swell accompanied by piercing anguished growls.

Emarosa - Emarosa (2010)

Things seemed to be trending upward for Jonny Craig in 2010, he’d rejoined Dance Gavin Dance after a two-album absence and mended fences with Emarosa in order to helm the group’s killer sophomore album. While things came off the rails quickly after its release, Emarosa’s self-titled record took every sound developed from the band’s earlier works and improved on them markedly.

This is the first time the band congealed into a fully-formed, standalone entity. While many of his other projects see Craig’s vocals taking the lion’s share of the spotlight, on this release the band figured out how to fit his singing into the instrumentation in a way that everything folds together into one presentable package. It’s a record of constant forward momentum, and one of the best uses of Craig’s incredibly-distinct vocals.

Issues - Black Diamonds (2012)

Formed after the spiteful dissolution of the groundbreaking Woe, Is Me, Issues features a nearly-identical lineup of musicians with a few welcome additions. The group’s 23-minute Black Diamonds EP officially announced the members reuniting, addressed the previous group’s turbulence, and outlined their resolution to move forward with positivity.

After addressing the extra-musical drama, the remainder of the EP is simply overflowing with unique ideas, bringing dozens of fresh elements to a genre that had become stale within the space of a few years. By infusing metalcore with electronic elements, R&B, pop, hip-hop, and much more, the group managed to create something far greater than the sum of its parts: something wholly original and different in a scene where such concepts are often rejected and deemed unmarketable.

Featuring poppy cleans by Tyler Carter and deep fight-inducing screams from Michael Bohn, Issues added some much-needed excitement to the metalcore scene, and Issues’ originality helped differentiate them not only from their previous group but also from the rest of the genre. Two years later the band had released their first full-length, and an accompanying EP that reworked 8 of the band’s songs into newly-formed acoustic tracks. These acoustic versions managed to breathe new life into these already-great songs while also serving as further proof of the band’s musical versatility. These releases represented a positive turning point in my view of the genre and definitive evidence that there’s room for growth in this industry and in life.

Secret and Whisper - Teenage Fantasy (2010)

As with any other popular music scene, bands are born, break up, and then disappear forever. Throughout the early 2000’s literally hundreds of post-hardcore groups got together, created a Myspace, released some music, and then vanished as quickly as they’d appeared. Of all the bands from this era that released music and died out, the one that I miss the most is Secret and Whisper. If anything, I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky that they worked together long enough to leave us something as heartbreakingly beautiful as Teenage Fantasy.

Probably the least “hardcore” of all the bands on this list, this would be my one recommendation to anyone reading this list who is not interested in the scene. It’s one of the most out-there and original approaches to the post-hardcore genre, and an entry I hesitated to include with the other entries on this list.

For 44 minutes Teenage Fantasy shines, glimmers, and brims over the top with fresh ideas. Simultaneously otherworldly and down-to-earth, the album is a glossy and emotional journey into the depths of frontman Charles Furney’s psyche. “Youth Cats” opens the album with a snarling guitar riff and a mythical lyric about the ‘lady of miracles’ who commands the river. Straight out of the gates Furney’s voice is volcanic, straining and stretching, brushing his upper register as the bass bounces back and forth beneath it. “Youth Cats” kicks the entire record off with an unrelenting forward momentum that gives the whole album a sense of immediacy and spectacle.

From there literally every. single. track. hits. Throughout the 44-minute running time the vocals soar, the drums hit hard, and the guitar rumbles, all of which swirl together like paint on a well-worn wooden palette, resulting in one singularly flawless record. Even the slower songs like “Upset Seventeen” have a Daniel Johnston-esque charm to them that make them more personable than nearly every other post-hardcore song you’ve ever heard. There are weird electronic diversions like “Pretty Snarl,” and even typically-boring song topics like love and death are addressed in surprisingly eloquent and thoughtful ways. Sometimes the group ventures out even further than expected, addressing topics like animal testing on “Star Blankets” and drawing parallels between serial killers and stardom on “Famous For a Century.” Everything is handled with a surprising level of tact, but also in a way that nothing sticks out as a poor fit. The entire record is unreal, cavernous, and dream-like. It impacts you once and then slowly envelops your body like warm sand. Truly unlike anything I’ve ever heard before or since. A wonderful and underappreciated masterpiece.

We’re Not Friends Anymore - You Are Television (2010)

Clocking in at a blazing 13 minutes, We’re Not Friends Anymore’s second (and final) EP finds a band that is hungry for success. The vocals explode and smolder, and the instrumentation brings a distinct groove and movement, making for surprisingly danceable tracks that spring to life. It is a breakup album, but one that seems as ready to move on as it is willing to dwell in the past. I’ve never heard anything like it, and the EP’s punctuality makes for a breezy listen that will quickly embed itself in your brain and worm its way to your heart.

This is only an abridged list of my favorites, you can listen to these albums and many others through this Spotify Playlist.

[star-wars-canon-blog]

An Introduction

When it comes to Star Wars, I grew up in a strange period of purgatory.  Unlike the kids of the 70’s and the 80’s, (the latter of which only comprising the first three years of my life), I have no memories of seeing any of the original films in theaters. But neither did I spend my golden years surrounded by the omnipresence that is Star Wars, like the children of today.  My earliest memories of Star Wars come from commercials for Micro Machines’ “Star Wars Action Sets,” or the odd clip featured on Muppet Babies. It wasn’t until I was nearing 7 years old that my father was prompted by the promotional sale of THX’s digitally remastered VHS release to buy these movies on a lark, and show them to my sister and I.

In later years, I would collect each and every one of these, in lieu of any of the Kenner line.  They imprinted on me, early.

Now, my father is not the ubergeek that I am. This was a guy who owns his own construction business, loves college football and was the quintessential jock, growing up. In my youngest years, I do recall him being a fan of Star Trek - The Next Generation, but aside from that, he didn’t, and still doesn’t, bear the trappings of what we would recognize as “nerd culture.”  And yet, even so, he had a sneaking suspicion that we might appreciate these movies. Little did he know he was creating a monster. My sister and I sat glued to the TV as we binged both A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back, periodically taking breaks to run upstairs from the TV room and re-enact our favorite scenes. For the record, I do remember the revelation of Vader’s true identity spoiled for me long before I ever saw the movie.

"Well, thank you, Mr. Blow-The-Picture-for-Me.”

Of course, the day after that was Sunday, which meant we were both returning to our Mother’s house, after spending the weekend with Dad.  My parents had divorced a few years prior, which meant that every other weekend we spent with my father, while the remainder of the time, we lived with her. This, of course, meant that it was going to be another two weeks before I got to figure out what happened in Return of the Jedi. It was agony. I couldn’t focus in school, (not that I was overly concerned with that, anyway), none of my friends had seen any of them, so I couldn’t even talk with them about that, and, of course, this was a time before the ubiquity of the internet, so looking up spoilers wasn’t even an option. After a few days, I begged and pleaded with my mom to take me to Blockbuster Video so that we could rent the third movie.  They didn’t have it.  Not that it was already on loan...they simply didn’t have a copy in stock.

And apparently, insisting my mother buy me ANOTHER copy of the trilogy was “unreasonable.”

Finally, the two weeks were up, and after a grueling two-hour car ride to Chatham County, North Carolina, I threw my copy of Return of the Jedi into the VCR and sat with my sister to watch.  It was pure catharsis. The fear, the anxiety, the uncertainty about the future that Luke must have felt between episodes V and VI was mirrored in my own grip of suspense, and when the Jedi finally returned, he did so with gusto.  To my relief, Luke did not end up killing his father, but instead, met a form of reconciliation. A realization that despite their differences, Luke and Anakin were more alike than perhaps either of them initially realized. It hit me very close to home. After all, if there was hope for Vader and Luke, perhaps there was hope for me and my father, as well.

My father and I’s relationship was complex, to say the least. As mentioned previously, we could not have been more different in terms of interests and hobbies. For that matter, we often found ourselves butting heads more often than not. As a child of divorced parents, especially at such a young age, I had my fair share of trust issues that manifested themselves in assorted ways. And my father’s patience could sometimes be very thin. In retrospect, I feel that he did the best that he could, and I certainly didn’t make things any easier on my part. My desires to dream big often came at the cost of my focus on reality. In short, the idea of staying on the farm, fixing Moisture Vaporators seemed like agony, while I’d rather be playing with my Skyhopper.

“Ptew! Ptew! Take that, Womprat!”

Much like the aforementioned pair, my father and I did eventually grow to a more mutual understanding that came with age and maturity, on both of our parts, and a developing sense of compromise. However when the credits rolled for the final time, I remember being struck with the strongest sense of depression. After all, it was over. There were no more adventures to be had. Of course, there were rumors, at the time, of the prequel trilogy coming to light, soon...but those were many years incoming. Until my next trip to the library revealed to me that the adventures had not ended...they had only begun.

While far from the first written, Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn Trilogy books certainly among the most popular and groundbreaking.

My sister, being a bit older than me, was able to tear through Timothy Zahn’s Heir to the Empire and subsequent books, while I tried to occupy myself with slightly easier fare.  I tore through Kevin J. Anderson’s Young Jedi Knights series the way kids today absorb Harry Potter. Which doesn’t surprise me, as from a narrative standpoint, the two bear very striking similarities. For the record, I’d take training on Yavin IV with Luke Skywalker over a letter from Hogwarts any day of the week. As for creating my own stories, my stepmother worked for a distribution company that focused on memorabilia, and as such, I had access to not only toys but trading cards, posters, cardboard standups, everything.  And of course, at the time, catalogs and special orders were the only place where such things could be procured. Christmas of that year consisted of nothing but Star Wars.

Imagine, if you can, a time when Star Wars merchandise was hard to come by.

I finally got to see my favorite movies on the big screen once again when in 1997, the Original Trilogy was re-released into theaters for the Special Edition. Seeing the updated special effects was...kind of cool, but I never felt there was anything particularly wrong with them in the first place. Spoiled by such realistic effects as seen in Jurassic Park, their dated hokiness only added to their charm. To me, it was somehow more impressive that they were able to do all of that without computers. But the bonus side-effect of the Special Edition was the bringing of Star Wars back into the cultural spotlight. Not only did toys return to the shelves, but games like Rebel Assault II and Masters of Teräs Käsi for the Sony Playstation gave these weird little movies that only I seemed to love a sense of legitimacy.

Ahh, Masters of Teräs Käsi, the fighting game that gave players control of their favorite Star Wars characters. Like Luke, Leia, Chewbecca, and of course, the unfortunately monikered Hoar.

Of course, being a kid, I didn’t have much of the geeky sense of ownership that comes with a niche interest becoming more mainstream.  To me, I was simply thankful that my friends were starting to take an interest. Within a few years, speculation began to stir about the impending release of Star Wars: Episode I. And then came the day that the trailer dropped. I remember waiting hours, on my dial-up connection, for a grainy trailer to load, playing whatever footage had already buffered over and over again until finally getting to watch the entire trailer from start to finish. Now, in my older, more cynical times, I would cringe at the enthusiasm that I expressed for The Phantom Menace, but of course, at the time, I was simply happy to see another Star Wars movie.  And while my first love shall always remain the originals, in spite of myself, I can’t outright say that I am capable of hating any of them.

Hate does, after all, lead to suffering…

It seems almost embarrassing to say that most of my passions can be sourced, in some way, from Star Wars. My love for reading developed from both the previously mentioned Young Adult novels and also Lord of the Rings, books that were recommended to me simply because of my love of Star Wars. I grew up from playing “the Adventures of Luke and Leia” with my sister to telling my own stories via many of the Star Wars Role-Playing Games that have come out across the years, (and continue to do so, to this day.) My admiration for Voice Acting coming from the sheer astonishment that the guy who voiced the Joker in my favorite cartoon also played Luke Skywalker. And my love of filmmaking can be traced back to the puppetry and special effects utilized in the originals. Indeed, this blog, a Star Wars blog, is the conduit through which to pursue my passion for writing.

With movies being released, television shows in development and/or production, numerous comic book titles published by Marvel, and full-length novels being written on the regular, this franchise - which started out as three simple movies - only seems to be getting bigger by the day. This blog, for the most part, is an exploration of the stories that exist within the Star Wars canon. An exploration of the overarching story of the Skywalker family, and the struggles of the Light against the Dark. In addition to that, however, it is also an insight into the fandom of Star Wars, itself, and just what it is about these stories that want us to create our own. Whether you love the prequels, or hate them; whether the idea of a new generation of Star Wars fans delights or repulses you, and whether the codifying and quantifying of canon versus Legends is a source of relief or frustration -- we all want to live, if only for an hour or two, in a Galaxy Far, Far Away...