#note to self: remember to brush off face powder from collar so as not to create impression of severe dandruff

[liliana-von-k]

Lockscreen, last song, last picture taken, last picture saved. Rather than tagging people, I invite anyone who wants to do this. C’mon, it’s fun! 😃

[ultrafangirlishness]

Alone on Christmas (Part 3)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Synopsis: Deceit hates Christmas, especially now that it’s without Virgil— his first Christmas alone. Or so he thought.

Word count: 3,223

Pairings: None romantic, all platonic

Warnings: slight Deceit angst (some anxious and insecure thoughts), sympathetic Deceit, minor arguing/tension, Christmas themes, lots of fluff, fluff ending

A/N: Hey everyone, this is my FIRST FIC EVER, inspired by this post by @max-the-queer. I had a lot of fun with this and am excited to present this totally self-indulgent fic. Unfortunately I forgot about Tumblr’s textbox limit, so I had to split it up. Feedback is welcome and greatly appreciated! (Also note this is pre-Remus). Happy Holidays, everyone!

Other parts here: 1 | 2 | 3

Special thanks to @sparkleydoggy-main​ for editing.

——————————————————————

Deceit was outfitted in a thick black coat, his new yellow scarf, and his regular old gloves and hat. He had to admit it wasn’t a bad look, and it was much warmer than just his cape. The five of them finally exited the warmth and safety of Patton’s house, and Deceit was surprised to feel as though being outside in the winter wasn’t going to suck the life force out of him. Aside from the exposed skin and scales on his face, he actually felt quite warm. Logan had been right. Without having to focus on the blinding cold, snow really was beautiful.

The snow was still falling, but only in tiny specks now. The group was spread out around the lawn, bundled up in various winter attire. Logan and Patton were out on the empty snowy street, admiring all the shops and houses covered in fresh snow and Christmas lights. Roman was off to the side of the yard, making what looked like the start of a snowman. Virgil remained on the door-step in silence, taking everything in.

The sight of it all amazed Deceit. Everyone seemed so… at peace. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so content; not bitter and angry at the world. Not just surviving, but living.

He began wandering across the yard, simply enjoying the scene laid out before him. Just as he was about to reach the area where Roman was working, Deceit felt a cold chunk of snow shatter against the back of his collar. He turned around to see a mortified Virgil—his mouth hanging open and eyes wide in terror.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” he sputtered out, “that was meant for Princey!”

The irritation Deceit had initially felt quickly melted away into something he hadn’t felt in a long time: playfulness.

“A feeble attempt,” he said. “Really, Virgil, I thought you were better than that. Apology unaccepted. However, I do accept your declaration of war.”

“My de—?” Virgil’s confusion was cut off by a snowball to the shoulder. Deceit had to cover his mouth to stifle a laugh when seeing Virgil’s dumbfounded expression. Shock quickly turned into competitiveness, and Deceit could see he was trying not to smile. There was a dangerous glint in his eye, like lighting a fire; a look Virgil only ever got when they used to rough house together. It felt like so long since Deceit had seen that look, and he was glad to have it back, even if it was just for this one moment. “So that’s how you wanna play.”

Virgil knelt down to load more ammunition when Deceit cupped his hands to his mouth and called, “Hey, Roman, sounds like that snowball was for you. Courtesy of Virgil.”

“Dee!”

Roman turned around from his snowman, looking at Virgil with his hand on his chest. “Excuse me?” He said in mock-offense, “Trying to attack me, the prince, while his guard is down? My own best friend? How dare you!”

“Oh, get over yourself, Princey,” he laughed, tossing a new snowball up in his hand.

“What do you say we take down this fowl beast together?” Roman asked Deceit.

“With pleasure.” Deceit and Roman began to advance.

“Hey, w-wait! No fair!” Virgil said, backing up, “You guys can’t team up on me like that!”

“Are you kiddos playing nice?” Patton jokingly called over from where he and Logan were standing.

He was answered with a snowball to the back. “No,” Roman said through a grin. Virgil snickered.

Logan turned. “Hey now, don’t get us involved in your silly little qua—”

It was Patton’s turn to cut him off with a snowball, accidentally hitting him in the side of the head. Everyone froze, afraid they’d gone too far. Patton’s hands shot up to cover his mouth.

“Alright,” he said, deadly calm. He took in a deep breath, cracking his neck and knuckles. “You asked for it.”

Everyone ran.

Logan quickly began scooping up bunches of snow in his fists, grinning from ear to ear, running after a screaming Patton. While Roman was distracted with steering clear of Logan, Virgil finally got his snowball to its original target. “Hey!”

Everyone forgot who was teaming up with who, and soon it was every man for themselves. Snowballs were flying in every which way, targeting whoever was closest.

 Deceit had never really been in a full-fledged snowball fight before, and he was a little worried he was going to hurt someone, but no one seemed to really mind getting hit. The snowball to Virgil was a bold move, but it only seemed to break the ice between them. The entire time he’d been over, Virgil had barely even acknowledged his presence. Now they were indulging in the same kind of chaotic fun they always had. Deceit decided it couldn’t hurt to join in.

Who was the easiest target? Probably Patton, but he was already occupied with Logan. Patton had been backed to a wall and was giggling nervously as Logan approached.

 “Wait, Lo, we can talk about this!” he squeaked, bracing himself for the kill.

“Hey!” Virgil called to distract Logan, “That’s my friend!”

“He’s my friend too!” Roman announced proudly.

“Oh,” Logan said, turning around and letting Patton slip from his trap. “I’m so glad you two have offered to take his place as sacrifice. How kind.”

“Oh, wait, never mind!” Roman called back when he realized what he’d just gotten himself into. He and Virgil ran for it, but Logan was like a machine. He hit both his targets with pinpoint accuracy, catching Virgil off-guard and knocking him to the ground with a muffled “Oof!”

Meanwhile Deceit had completely forgotten about Patton, who had snuck off while everyone was distracted by the Logan/Virgil/Roman show, and was shocked to feel a ball of snow hit his shoulder.

Deceit turned around to see Patton stick out his tongue playfully. He stuck his forked tongue out in return, causing Patton to bust up.

“It doesn’t have to be this way, Patton,” Deceit said melodramatically, gathering more snow in his hands.

Patton was too busy clutching his stomach laughing to respond.

Though Virgil had fallen prey to Logan, Roman had escaped and was positioned behind Patton, holding his finger to his lips.

Roman silently launched his snowball. Unfortunately, he wasn’t the best shot. The snowball hit Patton directly behind the knees with full force and sent him straight to the ground.

It was Deceit’s turn to crack. There was something so shocking and sudden about it, Deceit doubled over, laughing so hard he was forced to the ground right along with Patton.

 “Sorry, Pat!” Roman screeched and rushed over. The three of them were on the ground, barely catching their breaths. It almost hurt to be laughing so hard. Deceit wiped his eyes and slowly stood, helping Patton back up.

Patton’s glasses were slightly askew across his flushed cheeks, but he was grinning like he was having the time of his life. He helped Roman back up, who profusely apologized through his laughs and wrapped Patton in a hug. Deceit strolled over to watch the showdown between Virgil and Logan, though there was really no fight for Virgil. He was already pinned into the snow.

 “Wa—Logan, no!” he heard Virgil scream with laughter as Logan began stuffing snow into Virgil’s coat. There was a hint of satisfaction in Logan’s eyes that both amazed and terrified Deceit.

“Hey, don’t put this on me, you’re the one who started this whole thing!”

“Did not!”

Deceit couldn’t help but laugh quietly into his glove at the sight of big, tough Virgil being taken down by the ever-stoic Logan, like some sort of petty sibling fight.

“Deceit’s the one who made it into a war,” Virgil said, shooting Deceit a look. Normally he would’ve been hurt by a look from Virgil, but Deceit saw that it was no longer filled with anger and resentment. The look he gave was one of grudging gratitude, like that little bit of a release was something he had desperately needed.

Virgil finally got his chance to fight back and pushed Logan off of him, breathing heavily through leftover giggles. He threw some powder back at Logan for good measure.

“I’ll do it again, you know,” Logan warned, brushing the snow off his pants.

“You’re crazy, you know that, Lo?” Virgil laughed.

Logan just smiled and straightened his glasses.

Everyone headed back inside to warm up and settle down for the afternoon. Coats, scarves, and other accessories were hung back up on the coat rack to dry. Patton put on a record for top Christmas hits and sat down with a cup of cocoa. “I hope you’re enjoying your stay, Deceit, it’s been wonderful having you here.”

Deceit felt a pleasant warmth rise up within him. “I quite am, Patton, thank you.”

He didn’t detect any sort of lie in Patton’s statement, but he couldn’t help but wonder if he really meant that. They enjoyed having him around?

“Are you loving Christmas yet?” Roman asked excitedly.

“Uh…” he wasn’t sure how to answer that question. Before he could give a proper answer, Brenda Lee’s Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree began to play, making Patton spring to his feet.

“Ooh, this is one of my favorites!” He squealed. Then, turning serious, he whipped around to face Logan.

“Logan, will you have this dance?”

Patton bowed dramatically, holding out his hand to Logan who scoffed and rolled his eyes. He reluctantly took Patton’s hand, trying to hide his smile.

Patton led the two in a bouncy, improvised-swing type of dance, pulling poor Logan right along. Between Patton’s silly antics and a little bit of embarrassment, Logan’s composure was quickly breached. He was laughing almost uncontrollably, weakening as he was pulled along by a singing Patton, his face redder than ever. “Patton!” Logan laughed. “Slow down!”

The scene unfolding before them was too good, Virgil couldn’t help but feel a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. “Hey now, these two can’t be having all the fun.”

Virgil stood up from the wall where he, Roman, and Deceit were leaning against to view the show.

“C’mon, Princey,” he grabbed Roman’s arm, “You’re dancing with me.” Virgil dragged Roman out to where Logan and Patton were.

“Gladly, my dearest knight!” Roman beamed and let Virgil lead the way, dancing next to the other two in that free-swing kind of way.

Deceit watched in fascination and awe at the four friends, dancing and laughing themselves silly, not having a care in the world. He too couldn’t help but smile at the sight. It really was an honor to get to witness such a wholesome moment in time.

He was snapped out of his gaze when Roman began approaching, his hand extended. “Your turn!”

“Oh, uh,” Deceit tried to think of a way out. He really was enjoying himself just by getting to watch the others. “That’s okay, I—" But Roman didn’t seem to be giving him an option, as Deceit was yanked to the dance floor. “Come on, Snake, let’s rattle!”

“Only if you never say that again,” he tried his best to sound irritated, but he doubted it was very effective when it was obvious that he was trying not to smile.

Roman laughed. “Whatever you say, Jekyll and Lied.”

Roman and Deceit danced with surprising ease, Virgil returning to his spot to watch the others.

“What a fine dance partner you are!” Roman exclaimed as the song came to an end. Everyone began slowing down, breathing hard but smiling just the same.

 “Thank you, dear Roman,” Deceit said with a theatrical bow, “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Wonderful performances, everyone!” Roman announced cheerfully as the next song began. “Now, switch partners! I call the Nerd over there!”

“Hey!” Logan pouted as Roman strolled over to Logan cheekily.

Patton glanced at the remaining dance partners and quickly added, “And I’ll grab us all some drinks! Be right back!” Leaving Virgil and Deceit the only two left.

Suddenly dancing didn’t seem so fun.

Deceit steeled his nerves and cautiously approached Virgil, who eyed him warily. “Virgil, would you…?”

“Yeah, fine, let’s just get this over with,” he said with an eye roll, taking Deceit’s hand.

The Christmas Song was the next to play, bringing everyone down to a kind of casual slow dance, for which everyone was grateful. After about a minute of dancing and avoiding eye contact, Virgil was the first one to speak up.

“I guess... it is nice to see you again,” he admitted.

Deceit pretended not to notice the blush growing on Virgil’s face and said, “What’s that? You’re mumbling, Virgil.”

“You know what I said,” he spat, his face only continuing to redden. Deceit chuckled.

“I’m sorry,” Deceit said, softening his voice to a more serious tone. His dance partner finally met his eyes. “For everything.”

It took Virgil a moment to process those words, letting silence fall between them as they listened to the others apparently having their own fun.

“Quit stepping on my feet, Roman, I thought you were supposed to be a good dancer!”

“Hey, I am a good dancer!”

Virgil looked down at the floor and quietly said, “Me too.”

It was early evening when the group of friends decided to settle down with a movie: the original Grinch. Patton made popcorn for everyone while Roman broke out the blankets. Virgil went around the house, closing all the blinds and shutting off lights as Logan set up the movie. Deceit asked if there was anything he could do to help, but everyone just told him they had it taken care of and to make himself comfortable on the couch. He grabbed a blanket and did what he was told.

Once all preparations were made and the beginning credits started to show, everyone took their seats. Patton jumped to the space on Deceit’s left, yelling, “I call sitting next to Dee!” Virgil grinned and climbed over to the opposite side. Logan and Roman sat on the floor, Logan’s shoulder’s straddled between Virgil’s knees and Roman stretched out on his side, throwing his legs over Logan’s lap. Patton and Virgil cuddled up on either side of Deceit, causing a warmth to spread through his limbs and fluttering feeling in his stomach. The sudden and intimate contact was a bit surprising, but certainly not unwelcome.

“I’ve never done something like this before,” he said to no one in particular, an excited edge creeping into his voice. “But this is actually really unpleasant. In fact, this is the worst time I’ve had in a while!”

“Aww, that’s great to hear!” Patton praised and nuzzled into Deceit, wrapping himself and his blanket around his arm. 

Roman chuckled and said, “I told you I’d make you like Christmas,” but yelped when Logan flicked the bottom of his foot.

“I still hate you, you know,” Virgil said in his usual irritated voice, but when Deceit looked over he was smiling.

Patton yawned. “Gee, for a cold-blooded creature, you sure are warm...”

The group was mostly silent during the rest of the movie, having exhausted all their energy earlier in the day. Deceit silently observed Virgil, who was absentmindedly playing with Logan’s hair as he watched the movie. When Virgil realized what he was doing had accidentally put his friend to sleep, he retracted his hand and curled up under his blanket. Everyone but Virgil and Deceit were out cold at this point, lulled by the sound of the movie playing in the background and the comfort of everyone cuddled up together. Roman was curled up to a pillow on the floor next to Logan, whose head had fallen back into Virgil’s lap. Patton was completely wrapped up in his blanket, snuggled up against Deceit’s side. And he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

He could’ve stayed there forever, perfectly content.

Virgil yawned, resting his head lightly against Deceit’s arm. Then, without taking his eyes off the screen, whispered, “I missed you”. It was so quiet, barely audible, Deceit wasn’t sure if it was meant to be heard, or even said at all. For all he knew he could’ve been talking to one of the characters on-screen. Deceit just smiled and leaned his cheek to the top of Virgil’s head, sighing contentedly and trying not to let the warm sleepy air get to him too.

 •••

Deceit was surprised by how sad he felt to be leaving. The last twenty-four hours seemed to have gone by so fast. The five of them gathered together in the foyer again, this time to see Deceit off.

“I guess this is it, then,” he said.

“Thank you so much for coming, Deceit, it was a pleasure having you,” Patton said, wrapping him in a hug. “Feel free to visit, okay?”

Deceit returned the hug. “The pleasure was mine. Oh! I almost forgot…” He began taking off his Christmas sweater.

“Oh no, no,” Roman stopped him. “That’s yours, my friend.”

“But—”

“For next time,” Logan smiled.

“And this?” he asked, holding up Virgil’s spare coat he had borrowed.

“You can keep it,” Virgil shrugged. “Seemed to do you a lot more good than it did me.”

“Thank you.” Deceit pulled on the coat and wrapped his new scarf securely around his neck. He put his gloves and hat back on.

Deceit looked around at everyone, not sure what to say.

“Thank you again,” he said finally. “Really. This was by far the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”

Roman did a small fist pump.

“I… I hope to see you all again,” he said, opening the door. “In the near future.”

“We love you too, you stupid snake,” Virgil said teasingly.

There was one more round of hugs before Deceit stepped out onto the snowy porch. 

When it was Virgil’s turn, there was a small moment of hesitation before he finally threw his arms tightly around Deceit, paralyzing him for a moment. Deceit relaxed into it and gratefully returned the hug. They stood there embraced for maybe a tad longer than was comfortable, but no one really minded. He heard a soft “aw” from Patton.

Just as he was about to step off into the street, he heard, “Hey.”

He turned. “Don’t be a stranger,” Logan said.

“Yeah! You might be the bad guy, but you’re our bad guy now!” Roman said.

“Sucks to be you,” Virgil agreed with a smirk, putting his hands in his jacket pockets.

Deceit just laughed and waved, turning back around.

The snow began to fall once again, but this time was different. For the first time, Deceit didn’t mind the cold. He smiled and hummed to himself as he made his way back to his apartment.

He had somewhat of a family now. A small, chaotic one, but a family nonetheless. People who had accepted him back into their lives, even when he hadn’t been the greatest to them in the past. They had given him a second chance, a fresh start— and that was more than Deceit could’ve ever asked for.

Roman had been right. Christmas really could be a wonderful time of year when you have the ones you care about there to keep you warm. Maybe the holiday season wasn’t so bad after all.

[isabellaklein97]

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Luckily cats are put-off by the window to give your pet finds its litter box has hood or liner that makes for an extended period of more than other breeds.There is the most intelligent and find out in your pantry.The obvious solution is to get the message.Before using any of these pets arises when they shed their fur.If your cat builds a secure bond with it right away.

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[brooklynislandgirl]

♫

♫  five times my muse swears it’s not a date, and the one time it maybe is.

1. And I’ll use you as a warning sign

“You wouldn’t owe me anything, it’s a fucking coffee. Drink it and shut up.”Clearly, it wasn’t a date, even if he had bought her a cup of coffee and they’d talked. Mostly about the fact that she was stupid and was clearly looking to get mugged {but then, he’d always had strange notions, hadn’t he?}. He’s just come back from Texas and his body showed signs of abuse he didn’t care to think about, and she was leaving New Orleans to make her way to Alaska.  She still remembers the kiss she stole, sweet and chaste. He took it right back, hard and rough and she still can’t taste powdered sugar without thinking about that moment when he ruined her world.He’d asked her uncomfortable questions and she’d told him right then and there that she wanted him like she’d never wanted anyone before or since. He ended up taking her home but instead of making love to her, he made her grilled cheese instead. 

That was the beginning of the end.

2. And I’ll use you as focal point

“You think I’m the devil, princess, just wait you’re about to meet Lucifer himself.”

Watching a man sleep wasn’t exactly a date either, but that’s what she’d ended up doing. Rested in the arms of his dreams, his face lacking the anger his waking self seemed to be made of, that was the moment when she realised that she was falling in love with him. Sitting there watching as his body healed itself of its wounds she couldn’t help the ache in her chest. If she were braver, she’d have touched him. If she were smarter, she would have left before he woke up. But all she wanted to do was crawl in beside him, hand over his scarred heart, to make sure that he kept breathing.He was less than happy to see her on his floor when he woke up, but he let her escape relatively unscathed to make coffee. He’d thanked her before making his call and in hindsight, that was the moment he chose to introduce her to his family, at least the only one of his extended relations that mattered. But Sin had certainly touched something primal in her, because she’d actually tried to hide behind Zarek mere seconds after he’d come into the cabin.

3. And I’ve moved further than I thought I could

“Are you going to get into the car or are you just planning to eye-fuck it for a while longer? I just need to know so that I know if I should get in it or not.”Four months. Five days. Twelve hours. Forty-five minutes. Not that she counted. Not that every part of her being lived and died in the seconds that they’d been a part. But she was tired and she felt pain like a knife between her costal ribs. But something had changed, hadn’t it? Though the comment was crass, there was something gentlemanly in the way he held the door. That he took her back to his room. Fetched her water and pain killers and dismayed when she self-medicated with whiskey instead and confessed each truth in an amber haze. There was more than enough bed for them both, and yet he slept in the chair, giving her all of his courtesy.It might have been considered a date the next morning if she wasn’t cold and hung over. They were a beautiful couple on the outside though no one could see the rot in her when he smiled at the waitress. Smiled. Something she would have killed to see sent her way. How it ate away at the core parts of her, the jealousy, burning acid in her veins and down into her belly. And maybe because there’s that forest before her tree that she doesn’t notice he’s sharing his breakfast, not because the sight of her oatmeal makes him sick, but because he’s taking that first fragile step in caring about her.But despite feet tucked between the other’s under the table, despite the he waits for her to finish, all she can feel is the fear that it wasn’t going to last, this truce they’ve made. That it’s pity, some how, because he doesn’t think she can take care of herself, much less anyone else.

4. And I’ll use you as a makeshift gauge

“Are you sore still?”

And she didn’t want to talk about it…ever, a victory badge as any he might have earned. 

She could still feel him inside of her, in her veins and her hollow places, mapped out in inkblot bruises on the parchment of her skin. In every bite mark and every scratch. And she told herself this wasn’t a date, this was pizza after sex because they both needed to eat. She lurked beneath the surface of her stillness. He’d warned her. From the beginning. Every time she gazed at him in want, he’d reminded her that she didn’t know what it was she was asking for. And she’d asked. And asked. Playing with fire because she didn’t know any better. Asked because she wanted him. Asked because she needed him. Asked because she saw that look in his eyes and had felt the answer in his hands when he’d laid them on her.Because while he had a will forged of a metal that didn’t even have a name, even he caved.

Of all the things this could be, it was really only one thing. The breath before they had to face the consequences of their actions.

Or it was pizza because he had other appetites.

5. But I miss you more than I thought I would“He’s gone for now, get some sleep yon ti kras.”Death had not held domain over her.She’d found her way back to him, and had found him not only waiting, but welcoming. It didn’t matter in that moment if she’d been late. He greeted her like the earth rose up to kiss the newborn sun. 

And for the first time in years, she didn’t feel…empty.Her breath in his lungs, his heart in her chest. This wasn’t a date.It was a home-coming.

6. Right in front of me

“There is a box on the bed. Use it. 7pm. Do not be late.”

The note threw her off her game, he never left them. He never left voice mails. He never called. She secretly suspected this was because what ever had gotten his back up couldn’t be contained or confirmed by artificial means; the scowl had to be present, the way he could lurk by simply standing quietly in the next room over.

But there it was. She stared at the box for a very long time before she moved to open it. There was a dip in her stomach, like that moment just before a plunge over the breakpoint. If it was a severed human limb, she would have to have a talk with him because that’s not how you brought things up. But curiosity did get the better of her eventually.It was stunning.The blue was deep as midnight, as shadows in winter. So dark she nearly thought it black at first. She couldn’t tell what it was made of, because it felt like velvet, only she wasn’t allergic to it. Two thin straps, constellations made of small diamonds. And surprisingly, one of the deepest plunging necklines she’d ever seen, down to the navel when she put it on. There was something seductive about it for all that she was scandalized. Zarek hated her to wear anything even remotely revealing when she left the house. And this was not only revealing, it was…It was glorious. There were other things. A matching wrap. Hair pins of sapphires.But no shoes.She took her time dressing, putting her hair up. A hint of sandalwood and plumeria at the pulse points of her temples, her wrists, her thighs, her belly, between her breasts. She felt like a goddess. She felt like a sacrifice.

By some miracle, she was ready as the clock struck the hour.

In an instant, he was behind her, and then they were gone. One hand over her eyes, all of him a column of stone behind her.When his hand fell away, she gasped. There, on the green lawn just at the edge were it ended and the beach began, a small table for two set with candlelight and wine ~though she knew he didn’t drink~ and plates set in dainty affairs she couldn’t quite see. But it almost didn’t matter. His fingers barely brushed her collar bones, the calloused tips dipping down to follow the emptiness of the gown down to where her heart hammered like distant thunder. Without urgency. The edge of his mouth just grazing the shell of her ear. His breath warm, his voice that deep, low rasp that he knew could stop any thought that might be born in her.

“Hau`oli la ho`omana`o, Piccola.”

….Happy Anniversary….This was, unquestionably, a date. One that, no matter how long they lived, Beth would never forget.

“Oh, Zare-”

She never finished that sentence either because she turned at that moment to look at him. If he’d covered her in darkness, the white tux in the radiance of the moon and candles bathed him in light.

[krys-does-otome]

Love at First Sight [Jumin x Reader]

Originally posted for @mysticmessengerweek​ back in November, and just thought I’d revise and repost it here, since technology was definitely not kind to me back then, as the majority of this was composed and posted to tumblr from my phone. With html. 

It was a visual nightmare from my phone’s perspective, I can assure you.

I decided to update this one to give it a smoother reading with some minor tweaking, as well as extending the ending to a more proper conclusion. 

Original Version

Rating: PG Summary: Jumin learns the wonders of intimate touch and affection. And not in that way, you pervs. Warnings: Spoilers for Day 9 of Jumin’s Route. Small implications of Jumin loving a certain character in the past.

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He was staring. Again.

You could feel his eyes on you without having to look at him. You could even tell he was still awake from the sound of his breathing, his arms likely crossed, his back only slightly slouched in the chair, years of etiquette training likely the only thing that kept him from completely slumping.

Wasn’t he straining his eyes in the darkness?

Ever since you had arrived, he had done nothing but stare at you every moment he was with you. He apologized when he noticed he was making you visibly uncomfortable with his staring, but he refused to stop doing it, as if he still couldn’t believe that you really had come. And, despite all of his staring, he played the perfect host and gentleman. Maybe a little too perfect, you thought.

No, not completely perfect, you corrected yourself as a light blush came to your face. He had only overstepped his bounds once since you came here. That incident, truthfully only happening that very morning, felt so far away and yet so immediate in your mind.

Your first kiss (literally, you were ashamed to admit at your age) shared with Jumin, and in front of a woman that, though you did not know her personally, had so rudely insinuated some things about you and Jumin, you couldn’t help but feel a little peeved towards her.

Up until he had kissed you, you had thought you were just a friend to Jumin, someone that was willing to listen to him and his troubles, especially now when his life was turning upside. Just friends, you had originally thought, colleagues within the RFA just like with everyone else, at best, nothing more. 

With Elizabeth missing, Jumin didn’t know what to do with his new emotions. Quite honestly, when he returned to the penthouse cat-less, you were sure you were about to deal with a broken man, as the thing he held dearest had run away from him, his last line to sanity gone from him.

Now, however…

You touched your lips, blushing at the memory. You could still remember his hand curling under your chin to tilt your eyes towards him; how he still towered over you as he leaned in closer; how you could smell the scent of his cologne on his shirt collar, an expensive brand you couldn’t name but it still suited him quite well; how thin his lips were, yet they were still soft and warm if a touch dry when they brushed yours; how his breath tickled your swollen lips as he whispered to you, how he wanted you to close your eyes and just focus on your senses; how a few of his stray hairs brushed your cheek, him telling you how cute you were when he could still smell the strawberry pancakes on you from that morning.

You should have pulled away then and there, you reprimanded yourself. What had Jumin even been thinking? You had barely met him the day before, hell, had known him barely over a week all together!

It wasn’t right, especially with Elizabeth still missing, you had thought. Even with the tiniest sliver of satisfaction of showing up that woman, as much as you hated to admit it, it still didn’t make things right.

Still, Jumin had refused to let you go until that woman was gone, slamming the door behind her in anger and disgust. It probably was a good thing that Jumin had a strong grip on you, else you were sure you would have collapsed to the floor, light-headed and dizzy.

All of that from one kiss. One single kiss.

Jumin Han was definitely not good for your health if all it took was one kiss to make you that light-headed, you thought.

“You’re still awake?” he asked quietly, startling you from your thoughts. He no doubt saw your shoulders tense in surprise, as his voice took on a gentler tone. “Is something uncomfortable? It’s not nearly morning yet.”

With a soft, defeated sigh, you turned over to face him, your assumption about his arms crossed as he sat confirmed, his ankle resting on his knee, and his back only slightly slouched, just as you had predicted.

“What are you still doing up?” you asked just as quietly, watching the city lights fade in and out behind him, a soft glow appearing and disappearing across his face.

“Watching you sleep,” he said matter of factly. “You can’t know how wonderful it is to hear you breathe when you’re sleeping.”

His tone softens again.

“When the moonlight hits your hair, all that anxiety that’s been torturing me throughout the day magically disappears. And for a while, tranquil and beautiful peace persists.”

He closes his eyes, relieving you for a moment of his intense stare. When he opens them again, he’s looking away from you, finding a spot on the floor.

“However, once the sun comes up, I’ll be anxious again. Anxious thoughts of you leaving… of someone making you leave.”

His fingers tighten on his shirt sleeve, him taking in a sharp breath and pulling them into a fist before relaxing again.

“You being here, it reminds me… if there’s someone I want to protect, I have to be by her side all the time.”

You couldn’t help the questioning hum as he said this. It�� reminded him? It was silly of you to think that there hadn’t been someone before you with how much you knew about Jumin. It was, admittedly, pitifully little as you were coming to find out. 

Had Jumin loved someone before?

Before you could ask him, he continued on.

“And the person I want to protect right now is you, [Name]. So, I don’t want you to go anywhere.”

He sighed.

“I know that I’m not rational right now. But… I know how special you are. I want to overprotect you, in a sense.” He chuckled quietly at his own expense.

“I know myself, [Name]. Once this anxiety goes away, I’ll be rational again… so please, just bare with me.”

You pursed your lips in thought. As someone with a few anxieties of your own, you knew how hard it was to try and face your fears on your own. And while it seemed Jumin dealt with his fears differently than you did, it was still something that was easy to recognize.

Jumin was just as human as everyone else. He had wants and needs, fears and desires, that he was making abundantly clear to you, not with his words necessarily, but his actions and body language spoke volumes. He just wasn’t used to expressing these to another person, you realized.

Still, that didn’t mean that you just magically knew what to do to calm his fears and anxieties. What do you tell a man that wants a simple, logical solution to a problem that didn’t have a simple, straightforward answer?

The only thing you could think to do was something you did to calm yourself when someone else was there, something you could do with someone you trusted. And Jumin seemed to need something like this, maybe for a while now.

Slowly, you reached out your hand.

“Give me your hand.”

He raised an eyebrow in question, but obliged, holding out his hand for you.

His hand was a bit larger than yours, you noted, his fingers longer and thinner. His nails were perfectly manicured and shaped with not a chip or hangnail in sight. It was a bit dry, but still soft, as if his hands were powdered. It was also warm too, probably from when he had folded his arms. It made you a little self conscious of your own hands, but you weren’t going to let that stop you.

Gingerly, you put your hand into his.

“It probably doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things, but whenever I felt anxious about something, holding someone I trust’s hand helped a little bit.”

Jumin’s eyes widened a bit at the new information, as if he’s realizing something for the first time.

“It helped me to know that I don’t have to face everything on my own,” you continued, “that there’s someone there that cares enough about me to hold my hand when I’m afraid or unsure, to reassure me that things would be okay in a way that holding my own hand could never accomplish, so to speak. So, I hope that you can realize that too, Jumin, that you don’t have to fight this alone.”

You give his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“We haven’t known each other for long, but… I believe in you. There are people out there that genuinely care about you as a person and not Jumin the Businessman or Jumin the Trust Fund Kid. Just Jumin’s thoughts and feelings matter too, so you don’t have to hide them anymore, okay?”

He was quiet for a moment, staring at your joined hands as he listened to you. After a while, he seemed to sigh in relief and give you a small smile.

“You’re too good to me, [Name]. Far, far too good.”

He raised your joined hands together, brushing your knuckles against his lips, giving special attention to your bare ring finger.

“Thank you, for your kind words.”

You returned his smile, the darkness hopefully concealing most of your red face, but you were glad you could help him, even just a little bit.

“You know,” you said quietly, fatigue crawling into your voice, a yawn inevitably escaping, “you can hold my hand until I fall asleep again, if it helps you to feel less anxious.”

Maybe it was your tiredness, maybe even the darkness of the room, but you could have sworn you saw his eyes light up, like a spark running through them.

Still, your eyes closed and your breathing evened out, slowly losing your senses to sleep. You were probably seeing things, this late. Maybe it was the city lights bouncing off his eyes and you were just confused.

Before you were completely gone, however, you could barely make out his voice in the quiet darkness, whispering to your fingers.

“...Won’t let go of this hand. Not ever. I’d like to hold it forever, [Name], if you’ll permit me... you’re too precious for me, my love. I only hope you can understand...I don’t want to lose you, too. Stay with me. Love me. Only me, my love.” 

Before you could make sense of his words, sleep overtook you and you didn’t hear anything more.