#not worried about terrorism bc people don’t usually do terrorism to random houses in the countryside

[boneless-mika]

Anyway I was trying to find out why the threat level increased in Sweden (how I found out about the angering Iran, Iraq, and Yemen) and the first result was from “rädda barnen” (translation: save the children) who provide easy to understand disaster information to kids and they said it’s normal to be worried to the children. However I think perhaps I am even more worried than the children… not about terrorism but about the fact the leader of Iran stated “[Sweden] has gone into battle-array for war on the Muslim world.” which uhh is not looking great for our very long no war streak

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Teenage Years)

Tony Stark x daughter!reader

warnings:

a/n: this is LONG so please dont let this flop

prompt: y/n is 12-16, takes place from Avengers 1 to Avengers 2

The Early Years (1) The Intense Years (3) The Aftermath (4) Continued (5)

starting out with tony powering stark tower with clean energy:

it was very late, you were supposed to be asleep

“what are you doing up, missy? it’s way past your bedtime”

“it’s my fault, i let her stay up to see her dad’s big achievement” -pepper

just vibing on the couch with absolutely no intention of sleeping anytime soon

you really did take after your dad

“how was the show, sweetheart?”

“uh, cool?”

coulson showing up when he did

you were excited bc you knew he had to be there for superhero stuff

“hi, agent coulson!!”

“hey there, kiddo!

BEGGING to come with your dad

“no. absolutely not. there is absolutely no way im letting you get involved in any of this”

you got involved

but like, not the whole “im a 12 year old superhero” involved

“y/n, sweetie, this is dr. banner, you’re gonna be his assistant in the lab!”

“—what?” *bruce utterly shocked*

talking that man’s ear off oh my GOD

he taught you a few things along the way, though

it ended up being very educational

“yeah i built my own suit! it’s definitely not as cool as my dad’s...and he put a bunch of safety controls on it. obviously, i could bypass them and do whatever i wanted, but it’s best not to break his trust, you know?”

“you are astonishingly wise for a 12 year old”

bruce being kind of scared around you because he thinks he could hurt you

also scared you might hurt yourself on the scepter

CASUALLY talking to the rest of the avengers

“so, you’re stark’s daughter? now i’ve met three generations of starks.” -steve

“oh, wonderful, there’s a smaller one!” -thor

“hey, y/n, it’s good to see you again. still practicing those moves i showed you?” -natasha

listennnn as you got older you started to exert more of your father’s personality traits

you developed his sarcastic and occasionally ill-timed humor...and

YOU WERE COCKY AS FUCK

“i mean, i’m not saying that i’m better than you but i know you’re thinking it”

when the helicarrier was attacked nobody really knew the correct way to protect you

“dad? dad??”

“right here, y/n, come with me”

tony brought your suit for emergency purposes

“you put this on and you stay here, understand?”

oh, another thing you got from him? NOT LISTENING

helping where you could, the first step to becoming a superhero, right?

being really upset when coulson died

but understanding that it was apart of the job

going back to new york for some alien ass kicking and having the whole team check on you every thirty seconds

“y/n, how’s it going?” “stark junior, are you doing okay?” “need any help out there, kid?”

“you guys don’t have to babysit me” “i’m still kickin’ it, thanks”

tony calling right before he went through the wormhole

“hey sweetheart, just gotta let you know that i love you and i am so proud of everything you’ve done”

the avengers holding you back from him when he fell back to the ground because you were unreasonably worried for obvious reasons

“is he breathing? steve? steve, let me see him! JARVIS, are you there?”

falling on the ground and hugging him (with your clunky-ass armor still on)

“hey! yeah, i missed you too”

*clink clink* pat on the back

schwarma stop

“you’re gonna eat it and you’re gonna like it”

having your own input on the stark tower remodel

taking a slight pause for random stuff

you’ve definitely drawn his mustache/goatee on your face before

“please tell me that’s not permanent marker”

“it’s permanent marker”

you and pepper doing mother/daughter things for bonding (but you and her already had a great relationship)

unreasonable amount of cussing from your father has rubbed off onto you and now he doesn’t notice when you say bad words

natasha taught you how to shoot so that was cool

“if i can shoot a repulsor, i think i can shoot a gun”

“whatever you say, baby stark”

obviously the team is just a bunch of protective uncles and an aunt

“i miss [insert avenger here]”

resume to iron man 3

just tinkering in the shop with pops

“are you sure that’s safe, dad?”

“duh, why wouldn’t it be safe?”

you were right and it was not safe

sometimes you proved your dad wrong and it made him happy?

“well would you look at that, you’re right”

learning how to help your dad with his anxiety and panic attacks

the house in malibu got blown up and your dad disappeared

you were benched by pepper effective immediately

“don’t you think it would be better if i were still out there? someone has to be out there and...i don’t know, protect the people?”

“y/n, please, you’re still a kid. i can excuse fighting aliens but i draw the line at terrorism”

“you can excuse fighting aliens??”

pepper sent you to a different house and hired a...babysitter

zip zip zip its AOU time yall remember the beginning of that at the hydra base

*explosion* “oh, shit! didn’t mean to do that...”

“watch your language, y/n!” -cap

“don’t tell my daughter what to do!”

having an external monologue that everyone just kind of rolls with

“glad i put a heater in this suit” “anyone up for burgers?” *humming Eye of the Tiger*

going back to the lab with tony and bruce and being very uncomfortable with the idea of ultron

“okay dad, you know how im usually right?”

“lighten up, kiddo. remember what i taught you about trial and error? this is a learning experience”

*bruce and you side eying*

“i’ll ground you”

“what?!”

“kidding, im kidding”

a lot of kid jokes from other partygoers

“isnt it past your bedtime”

“very funny”

actually dressing up nice for a change, as opposed to an oil-stained band tee

but then ur outfit was ruined because you had to shoot murder bots :(

“not cool! i designed this room!”

tony still got all the blame for ultron while you and bruce went 😬

tony made a joke about ultron being your brother and you didn’t talk to him for hours

“oh, come on! you have to learn to laugh at your mistakes!”

“poor choice of words, stark” -literally everyone

🎶getting to see your worst feaaar🎶

which was a mixture between tony not surviving the wormhole and being abandoned and vulnerable again

your phone got confiscated “because of ultron”

meeting wanda and pietro on better terms

“you are stark’s daughter?”

“um, yeah, that’s me. i sincerely apologize for anything he’s ever done wrong while i’ve been alive”

actually getting along with them (plus you were in a similar age range)

“uncle rhodey!!!”

“staying out of trouble, i hope?”

“define ‘trouble’”

okay okay, enough of that. besides a few robots hitting you and you hitting harder...and ultron taking a couple personal jabs at you after accessing some of your social media accounts...it went back to normal(ish)

you made a friend of wanda and visited the avengers compound weekly and helped with training

and nat gave you some spy pointers to help you if you ever found yourself without the suit

when you left the compound after thor that day, you had some nice father/daughter time

“why don’t i give you a driving lesson, yeah?”

“you’re gonna trust me to drive this thing?”

“sure, why not?”

you drove very fast, wonder where you learned that from

he was clasping onto the seats and whispering curse words

“next time, you can drive with happy”

[pappydaddy]

A Lumberjack and A Mullet ii (b.h.)

  A/N: This is the requested second part to A Lumberjack and A Mullet. This piece still references a bad home life and child abuse. However, this is going to focus more about Billy and the reader finding safety and happiness in each other, but unfortunately, there will be mentions of the abuse. Once again, this is not a good depiction of someone suffering through this situation since I am once again trying to keep this on the lighter side of things. 

Disclaimer: This is an imagine that involves a very sensitive topic. This imagine contains mentions of child abuse, violence, and an unhealthy home life - please read with caution. Reader’s discretion is advised.

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

Show/Movie: Stranger Things

Requested

Loosely inspired by Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift bc I was listening to it when I started to write it and this happened.

Part One | Part Two -You’re here! | Part Three 

Warnings: Mentions child abuse, violence, and an unhealthy home life. Reader’s discretion is advised.

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

Here are some resources from child abuse advocates:

- Child Maltreatment from World Health Organization   - Children Rights Organizations in Canada/some U.N.

If you or anyone you know faces the issues/treatment addressed in this imagine, please, please know that you are not alone, that someone out there can help you and understand what you are going through. Please never hesitate to reach out to organizations and advocates in your area. My DMs are always open for anyone who needs someone to talk to. Once again, please reach out to someone if you need help - there are tons of people to help.

- not my gif - 

Billy Hargrove wasn’t a good idea. He was a heartbreaker, a playboy of great proportions, everyone saw it. Many have fallen victim to his charming ways and were left with their hearts bleeding in their hands. Even Y/N’s friends (who were far from angels themselves) were warning her about him, but they didn’t see the Billy she saw. Somehow, in that fateful Saturday detention, they managed to break each other’s walls down with a smile. The tenderness in his touch shocked Y/N when they first held hands, but it shocked her, even more, when he had the same tenderness when he had held her in his arms for the first time. 

  They had become dependent on each other. They were each other’s safe space. Even now, as Y/N cowered in the corner of her darkroom, flinching every time her father’s fist collided with the weak wood separating them. The wood cracked, it was only a matter of time until the door finally broke. Standing on shaky legs, Y/N trusted her gut - knowing that she had to get out of there in the case today was the day that the door gave out under the strong punch of her father. Her heart thundered, drowning out the thump of knuckles against the splintering wood as she grabbed her book bag. Slipping on her raincoat, she yanked open the window. A few raindrops fell through the open window, but she slipped through anyway, pulling the hood over her hair. 

  The night was darker than normal for ten at night, the rain clouds attempting to smother the moon’s light. The drop from her room was scary, her room being on the second floor and all. Her bag hit the wet grass before she eased herself out the window, her fingers gripping the ledge in terror. The soles of her converse kept slipping against the wet siding - her fingers becoming slick as rain pounded them. Squeezing her eyes closed, she kicked off the side of her house, her grip finally letting go of the ledge. For a moment, she felt weightless as she plummeted to the ground, her knees bent in anticipation of meeting the ground. With a squish, her feet met the wet grass, water splashing up on her ankles as she let out a hiss, her ankles stinging from the impact. 

  Without a second thought, she slung her book bag over her shoulder and booked it to the nearest payphone. Despite it being quite a ways away, it was still closer than Billy’s house. As rain pelted down on her, drenching her raincoat, she felt warm tears slipping down her face - a stark contrast from the cold rain. The phone booth door rattled as she pulled it open, slipping into the clear booth. She took another breath, watching the raindrops fall, the yellow light from the streetlight casting down on the lonely booth. As her eyes followed the racing raindrops down the plexiglass, she thought about Billy - trying to halt her tears and trembling body.

  They had just finished another Saturday detention, once again ending up sitting on the hood of Billy’s car just like they had for the past three months. Y/N sipped at her soda, tucked under Billy’s arm as he leaned against his windshield. The winter months were melting away just like the snow that had covered the group a few weeks ago. Y/N leaned against Billy’s chest, the pair watching the stars as they sat in content silence. “Do you want a sip?” She suddenly asked, craning her neck to look at Billy, twisting to practically lay beside him as she extended the almost gone soda to him. 

  He dropped his eyes from the twinkling stars to look at her. “Sure, are you done with it?” He asked, gently taking the fast-food cup from her. 

  She nodded, her hand falling to rest on his chest, her head resting on his shoulder as she gazed up at him. “Yeah,” His strong jaw clenched as he took the straw between his lips, drinking the rest of the lukewarm soda. She smiled at him when he glanced down at her, leaning down to press his lips against her in a peck. Y/N hummed against his lips, her legs wrapping around one of his jean-clad legs. “I never want this to end.” She stated, her other hand coming up to twirl one of Billy’s blonde curls around her finger. 

  “Never want what to end?” Billy asked, his deep voice rumbling in his chest. She sighed at the feeling of the vibrations in his chest, his large hand tracing random shapes on her hip. 

  “This. You and I laying here,” She clarified. “I never want to go home.” She muttered the hand that once rested on his chest reaching down to pick at the blanket Billy had thrown over them in an effort to keep them warm longer. 

  “Pretty soon, that won’t be your home, I’ll be your home,” Billy told her, squeezing her closer to him. She hummed, pulling the blanket up farther before laying her hand back on his chest. “After we graduate, and I mean right after we graduate, we’re loading up my car and heading to California to start our life together.”

  “Do you really think I’m California material?” She asked, peering up at him again. 

  “I know you are.” He replied confidently. 

  That’s another side of Billy nobody but she saw: the dreamer. He had big dreams of moving back to California someday, getting back into surfing.  She sighed, peeling her drenched bag off her back. Pulling out a few quarters, she slipped them into the payphone, picking up the receiver before quickly dialing the number she knew by heart. Instantly, she heard the ringing as she drummed her fingers against the phone, glancing over her shoulder. She always felt like she was in a horror movie when she was out during the night, especially when she stood in a phone booth at night. “Hello?” A young voice spoke through the phone, making Y/N let out a breath. 

  “Hi, Max. Can I talk to Billy, it’s important.” She rushed out to the younger girl, recognizing the voice immediately. 

  “Yeah, just a second.” She answered her. Y/N could hear Max faintly call for Billy, saying that she was on the phone for him. She supposed Neil was out since Max was the one answering the phone. It was only a few beats of waiting until she heard the shuffling of Max trading the phone off to Billy. 

  “Hello, babe, what’s up?” He asked. Y/N could already see him leaning against the wall by the phone in a white wife-beater, the phone pinched between his shoulder and his ear, his arms crossed over his chest with a smile on his face showing off his perfect teeth. 

  “I need you to pick me up, I jumped out my window.” She rushed out, trying not to get distracted by the visual of him. She heard him jolt on the other end. 

  “Where are you, I’ll come to get you right away.” 

  “The payphone, the one I usually call you from.” She told him, knowing that he knew which one she was talking about. 

  “Okay, stay in the booth, I’ll be there in a few minutes.” With that, he hung the phone up, but Y/N wasn’t offended. This was how it normally went when she called him to pick her up. He would always hang up right away, her safety being the only thing he worried about. He would drop everything run to her. She silently hung the phone up, leaning her back against the plexiglass. Closing her eyes, she listened to the rhythmic sound of rain hitting it. A ghost of a smile stretched onto her face as another memory flooded her mind. 

  Billy held her in his arms as they laid on the grass. They watched the fireworks, their faces lighting up with each explosion of colour in the sky. Her hands gently played with his hair absentmindedly. It was the Hawkins’ Fall Festival, armed with games, fireworks, fall-themed foods, and an overcrowded field. Even though they were camped out far away from the festival itself, they still marveled at the extravagant fireworks it had. “Pretty good third date, huh?” Billy’s voice interrupted the fireworks, making her turn her head from the loud pops. She was shocked to see him already looking at her, his eyes soft as they flicked over her face. 

  “An extremely good third date,” She corrected him, pressing a kiss to his cheek before settling back to watch the remaining fireworks. “The Fall Festival has never been so enjoyable for me. Thank you.” She whispered not lifting her head to look at him as she spoke, her eyes dancing across the dark sky the colourful sparks fell - fading out completely before they fell to the ground. 

  She felt his arms tighten around her, then his lips pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her hair. She signed instinctively, melting into his warm embrace. “You don’t have to thank me,” Billy spoke against the top of her head, his lips lingering as he took in the scent of her shampoo. “Did you put perfume on to the top of your head?” He asked, pulling away as he caught a strong whiff of her perfume - a scent that drove him crazy and sends his mind whirling.

  “Yeah,” She admitted quietly before looking up at him defensively. “I read about it in Cosmo so I wanted to try it out, what are you going to do about it?.” 

  Billy let out a barking laugh, squeezing her affectionately as she started to laugh along with him. “You’re adorable.” 

  The sound of Billy’s car pulled her from the memory. Fluttering her eyes open, she was met with the blinding lights of his car speeding towards the booth. With a squeal of his tires, he pulled over to the curb. Grabbing her bag from the ground, she pushed the door back open. In a blink of an eye, Billy was out of the still-running car and wrapping her in a hug. Her bag dropped to the wet concrete as her arms settle over his shoulders, his hands pressing into the small of her back to press her flush against his body. 

  They clung to each other, hands fisting each other’s clothes. “I am so glad you’re okay.” Billy murmured into her neck as he swayed them gently. Her smaller hands let go of his rain jacket, her hands resting on his jaw to pull his face from her neck, their eyes meeting. 

  “I’m always going to be okay as long as you’re with me.” She whispered. Not even a second later, his lips were on hers, the force of the kiss nearly knocking her over. Automatically, her fingers buried themselves into Billy’s soaked curls as their lips moved together, pouring all their love into the kiss. Fireworks exploded within them, just like they exploded in the sky the night of the Fall Festival.

  She knew people said that Billy wasn’t a good decision, that she should run, but she also knew that she would never run and that he was the best decision for her. The was abundantly clear now as his lips caressed hers with the utmost care and love, his hands holding her as if she’d break if he held her any tighter. 

[quillyfied]

playing catchup, here’s some thoughts about DCA episode 120, with 121 coming here in a bit.

- I love these fireside episodes, and Satine Phoenix is an excellent person to mediate their discussions; she’s very warm and empathetic and these losers need that desperately

- Strix’s timeline is screwy, as I believe I have discussed on this blog before, but…uh…there’s a particular piece of Strix backstory Holly wrote that if it happened before she went to Baba Yaga…yikes. I don’t want to discuss it in too much detail but Strix would still have been so, so young for this particular piece of trauma, that’s gut-wrenching to think about. All of their childhoods included some form of trauma at a heartbreakingly young age and all of it is hard to think about but wooow.

- Paladin training is no joke, but I wonder how much younger than the others Evelyn was, to have advanced to full paladin status at 22 (probably younger). Given her leg, that’s really hella impressive.

- Relissa and Kagan are TERRIBLE and I can’t wait until we meet them, I am hoping for bloodshed on Diath’s behalf. But now Diath’s question to Paultin during the therapy episode makes more sense—“Was she nice to you?” KILL ME

- Diath’s fond smile and his tone of voice when he says her name after Strix says “so we CAN kill them!”, I’m drowning in my feelings pls help

- Yeah, trying to parse the conversation better, it does sound like Diath was dating both of them. So polyamorous Diath is most likely canon, which is…huge, honestly.

- Just going off of the body language and his facial expressions…that is not Diath’s root fear of cages and enclosed spaces. He probably had that long before Relissa and Kagan got to him. If anything, being imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit would probably crystalize that fear into a full-on psychosis, if it wasn’t there already

- okay imagining little bitty Evelyn zipping around in her boots makes me SO HAPPY, what a cutie patootie she must’ve been. Her expressed desire to be helpful is also very telling of an active child who felt useless bc she couldn’t get around as well, and I’m sure Father Sunbright capitalized on that desire to be useful to turn her into the self-sacrificing paladin she is (I’m sure to make her self-sacrificing and indebted to him personally, not just Lathander, but I’m bitter about him and hope either he doesn’t get raised or if Telastin tries, he just doesn’t come back…sidenote, I wonder if Chris is worried about too many plot threads out there waving in the wind that he has to braid back together, I’m sure he can do it, but this season is so complex compared to others)

- MORE ABOUT PAULTIN��S CHILDHOOD PLS. NATE. NATE PLS. I know that alcohol-induced amnesia is a huge part of Paultin’s character as an in-game expression of Nate not having much of a backstory for him, but come on, it’s been years XD He probably wouldn’t spill about it just yet, anyway, Diath hasn’t. I’m just grumpy and impatient.

- Aww yeee plot pie

- I feel like Paultin and Sandra having a rental is an important detail in this particular case; it feels like a setup, if this crime family was making a habit out of going into noble houses and Paultin and Sandra’s house was close to one. Maybe Sandra was mixed up in something she shouldn’t have been and Paultin didn’t know about it bc he’d been busy with work before she died, but the face-mangling in particular is suspicious to me. The whole death scenario in general is just brutal, suggesting extreme emotion or senseless bestial mauling (leaning towards the second), but making the face unrecognizable…there’s usually a reason why that happens, and that reason is usually either trying to cover their tracks or body-planting. So what I’m saying is, I’m reserving a shred of suspicion that Sandra might not be dead (actually evil, off doing other things, not sure what the motive would be, we just don’t know enough about her for me to make a clear judgement, but I’ve got my eye on you, Chris). I do not want that to happen at all in the least, for many reasons, but still…hmm.

- Diath’s reticence makes so much more sense now but I’m still a little heartbroken that he doesn’t feel comfortable enough with Strix, at least, to divulge a bit of his childhood to her. Yes I am upset as a viewer that there’s still so much we don’t know (upset AND excited), but after everything the Waffle Crew has been through together, it’s still baffling to me that they have mistrust and uncertainty. But them’s people, I guess, they all have their trauma that they’re carrying around.

- “Please don’t call me Hokage” OMGF JARED

- For real, though, after the clusterbumble Plurio tried to pull with saying Paultin owed him, seeing the real legit 100% authentic Diath express yet more of his devotion to his friend by tracking down people who hurt him deeply in the past has me absolutely sobbing, these stupid boys care about each other so much. Also vengeance!Paultin is kinda terrifying to watch but it’s been a while, it will be interesting to see where his rage takes him this time.

- (Esepcially given the talk he gave Alisanda about rage and revenge and how that hatred never goes away and changes a person for the worse, hoo boy, I hope for their sake that Relissa and Kagan really didn’t kill Sandra)

- EVELYN NO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU CHILDREN. My inner daycare teacher is screaming.

- Nat’s devotion to Diath is a+++++ and I think she in particular is very good for Diath’s development as a person and a leader. Also Anna and Jared using sign language onstage was great, I don’t know if all if it was legit since I don’t know much, but it was still cool to watch.

- Diath needs to go bond with Simon next…especially once next episode finally sinks into him :P (I am pretty sure they let slip to Diath what happened with Simon and the kid during the therapy episode, but the players forgetting details is okay, they’re all human beings with busy lives and insane schedules)

- Paultin acknowledging Evelyn as Simon’s mom is the BEST, I’m just waiting for Simon to call them Mom and Dad out loud now :P

- THROW THAT SHADE, PAULTIN, YOUR SON HAS LEARNED FROM THE BEST. YES DIATH, LET’S DISCUSS HIDING THINGS.

- AGREED, VLAHNYA, THEY SHOULD ABSOLUTELY TALK MORE.

- Squiddly’s mode of breaking the fourth wall without actually breaking the fourth wall is amazing, I’m not sure what to call his in-universe fluidity with the rules of reality but it’s delightful, I’m so upset it is a little weird for Nate to hold entire conversations with himself in a dnd setting

- They need to learn to take care of the kids…and themselves…AND EACH OTHER…I think I feel a whump fic coming on

- All of these poor broken adults need a mental health day where they just do things for themselves, where’s that special episode, Chris Perkins

- little lesson about love~ (once again getting SO CLOSE to someone explaining to Strix about feelings and giving her context for romantic emotions, WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP CHICKENING OUT ON HER, SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS BEFORE I DIE)

- Paultin’s face-touch to Diath is a masterful little touch of comedy, combining Paultin’s two favorite pastimes: 1. Messing with Diath, and 2. Bringing back random plot elements and using them to greatest effect. I am 99% sure that part of Paultin’s motivation for doing that was planting the idea in Diath to touch someone ELSE’S face :P Or at least, the part of me that knows Paultin ships his friends as much as we do wants to believe that. Jared’s face through the whole thing was killing me.

- Parenting, you guys. PARENTING. BEING RESPONSIBLE ADULTS. Oh gosh they’re going to have to leave Waterdeep at some point (bc I have a suspicion that Dungeon of the Mad Mage is going to be, if not THE last, then one of the last arcs DCA has, IDK how much longer fifth edition is gonna last and how many adventures they can turn out for it?? How often do they update DnD???), which means leaving the kids, which means there’s going to be a goodbye episode and I’m NOT READY.

- Elements of this are bleeding pretty flawlessly into the next episode, whether Chris actually watched the fireside as of streaming 121 or not, so once that post goes up, I’ll be glad to explore more about Simon and why I’m screaming in terror and delight.

[nethersphereadventure]

Day 1182

Okay so I already done fucked this so let's go again here reee to deleting things.

It's been 3 1/4 years since I started this and so much has changed. Let's start at the beginning shall we. Last time we were here I was stressing about exam results and my place in the world. Here's my thoughts kinda ordered but also really not.

Leaving home; Well, the first and biggest event was leaving home to go live w my dad. Tbh I think the less said the better

Relationship; My longtime crush asked my out and I was crazy enough to not initially accept him! We all went together as family members to go see Cosmo Sheldrake which was incredible multigenerational experience even if I was exhausted

Swimming; This was not the greatest of days. I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't even get out of bed to go on a day I'd really looked forward to with my 2 best friends. I think I worried them but just ghosting out but I was really touched how they completely turned my day around. It was also during that period which we absolutely abused free cinema tickets to go see mamma Mia 2 and into the fade (weird German movie)

We got Harry and Peter

Prom, picnic: I'd had my hair and nails done with mog and it was insanely hot. well it all started with morrigan and finn coming over to watch the handmaiden. They stayed the night and it was lovely but I felt like absolute garbage the next day, which was when we were supposed to go on a picnic but I ended up on my dad's bathroom floor for most of the day. I still felt a bit woozy the day after for prom but I just had to keep drinking and I was okay despite nearly flashing many people including my tutor and head of year. I stayed at mogs but didn't go to the after party bc of the obvious shiteness. I had a lovely or not so lovely chat with finn on the floor. We all eventually passed out in a spoon train only to be awoken by Joanna throwing malteasers at us through the window.

Budapest; this meant I ended up going to London twice in about 3 days. The first trip was with finn and Dom to go see flight of the conchords. It was fantastic. Then came the trip to buda. We travelled to Lucy's House where we had amazing pizza and a fitful night's sleep. Then caught a taxi and an insanely early bus to Heathrow. We made it and the ended up having to pelt across Munich. When we arrived in buda the first mishap was Radley getting yeeted off of the bus by the driver and they had to sneak back on. Then we went to our lovely apartment and then did all the usual things of sightseeing, looking at museums, going to the baths and ruin bars as well as cat cafes. The house of terror and the hospital in the rock were really amazing experiences. Also surprisingly there were some really cool thrift stores! Then we came back and ended up getting stuck at Heathrow by missing our bus by like 2 minutes. Luckily radleys dad picked us up for the long journey back home.

Our birthday happened at some point maybe hereish?

Exam results; I was insanely stressed about these. I couldn't sleep the night before. Morrigan messaged me in the morning to say she'd gotten her results before ucas was technically supposed to open so of course I checked. I was able to tell my dad before we even left the house and he cried. We met my mum down at school to collect my actual results and then went for tea. I got a monkey card which was honestly the most exciting thing.

Greenman; we actually had tent poles this time and I married an alien.

Camping; we met up with some people we haven't met up with for ages and we basically had freedom to fuck around in Lyme Regis and the surrounding areas. I got a load of cool free badges from a vintage shop owner because I helped him sort them. There were so many other cursed shops it was great especially the penny arcade where we spent a lot of our time. Also I lost the end of my toe to a wall in Lyme Regis which was real exciting. On our way back the worst happened and I had to pee in someone's driveway.

Greenbelt; I've already kinda talked about this but I've never been to a place where I know so many artists. It was so nice to be independent but also have a great time with my dad and rest of the family. It was the first time we'd been there alone for a very very long time.

Uni prep; this was wild and I couldn't do it and kinda had a breakdown which included spreading my stuff all over the living room. Finn came over and calmed me down so much.

Coming to uni; my dad brought me up here to Manchester with all my badly packed stuff. We moved in and he gave me this real cute necklace and painting which made me cry which set him off. We set up my room and he left. I just sat down and didn't know what to do with myself. So I did the thing only a normal person would do and knock on every single door in my block in the hope that someone would answer and one person did! It was Emily. I felt so awkward the first time just like sat with her. Luckily I encouraged her to go around again and I met more people. When my family came up to see me we even dragged Dan and Albert out with us.

Freshers; this was incredible. I met so many people at jcr events in Vickies. It was so sweaty and crowded. There were two biggish events for me. The first one was the palaver of deansgate takeover. I forgot my ID. I tried to take the bus back but it took me to the wrong accommodation. Then found somebody willing to buy me an uber and come to my accommodation where we luckily picked up chloe as well. We then finally made it in. This was the night I met Gabriel. Secondly was the night I boycott the festival and met up with randoms in Plymouth . It was great fun even if we don't really talk. However this was all a little marred by Finns breakdown at freshers. We were all so worried.

First semester was just a time of getting familiar with everything and messing around, learning how uni and essays worked. I went to Swansea to surprise Finns for the weekend and he almost cried. Also travelling back from mogs at 2am we just got left by the bus driver which was interesting to say the least.

Christmas and New year: this was a crazy time, we had a really nice few Christmas days. The first actual one was with mum. We basically just ate and watched TV throughout the day. Then there was one where we met up with the cousins which was indeed lovely. Grandma went into hospital on new year's eve, we kinda knew it was the beginning of the end. This meant my entire new year's was nervous but I felt surrounded by friends still.

Now. The here and now. Everything this still crazy. I feel a load closer with my flatmates. We've laughed, cried and gotten drunk. We've danced all night and done all manners of dumb shit. There's been love and slightly less anger. We had an amazing dinner dance the other night and it was truly fantastic to be there with people. After was a also really good fun and we cuddled together until about 7am. Beside my flatmates I've met many great people through our Friday drinks. Aurora, zillion, luke, Danny, jess, gabby and karin etc. I've also got to see kash, aoife and phoebe again. Finn came to see me in Manchester for an entire week so he also met them. It snowed loads and was wonderful. We cooked, slept, messed around, watched films whatever and it was great.

The future-- for me in the short term its relatively simple. I just need to write essays and pass my classes and it's all gucci. However the day after tomorrow is brexit and the who really knows?

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x11 recap

(Aka the one where Keaton and Dr Sun face off in an exciting round of  “~Whose Presence Is The Least Wanted~”. Spoiler: they both win.)

Delayed a little by a spontaneous three-day trip across the state and a few late shifts, but finally here at last. So thanks your your awesome responses to last week’s recap, and prepare for a large quantity of thoughts and opinions because damn this ep was actually good??

Noooo. Roman. My baby. Why must you suffer so much??? I mean sure there was the terrorism and the murdering and all, but... well, just as I don't see Remi and Jane as the same person, Times New Roman and Old Roman are also not the same. Plus, given that messed up childhood he had, his violence is kinda unsurprisng. And I just can't help it okay, he's my scruffy psycho puppy and I love him. And Jane does too, which is why she's always visiting him (FOR THE LAST 2 WEEKS WHAAAT. mORE ON THIS IN A SEC) and trying to make sure he's eating and getting some rest and just basically being the sweetest sister ever ughhhhh. But he's understandably starting to crack, being caged up in there like an animal, and ugh can I just hug them both rn

Okay this next scene is a Nas scene, ergo I don’t care about it, so I'm gonna just pause for a second and vent about this whole two-week-jump thing. Because you know what can happen in two weeks in this show?? Everything!! Like literally from the time Jane rejoined the team in the premiere up to the events of last ep (aka a total of 11 eps), only TWELVE DAYS had passed. (Yes, I counted). So let's think about this. This means that Jane came back into the team's lives 12 days ago. She met Roman 12 days ago. She was shot by Zapata 12 days ago (though you would never know it based on her physical activity... #tvmedicine). And wanna know some other things that happened in that 12 days? 11 days ago Weller found out he was gonna be a father (Allie was like 15 weeks along at the time, at best guess??), and Borden asked Patterson out. Approx 6 days ago, Jane kinda pretty much admitted to Weller that she loved/loves him. She found out about the baby a day later, the same day Allie was shot. (Again, not a hint of that injury any time we've seen her since!). Weller and Nas started sleeping together 4 days ago, while Jane's 'happy ending' fantasy (*sobs*), and her failed date with Oliver happened only three days ago. Then let’s not even get into the whole shitstorm of Shepherd’s trap and the team nearly dying and Patterson discovering Borden’s betrayal just a day ago. So are you seeing my issue here?? All these things happened in LESS than 2 weeks, and now we've just jumped forward that entire block of time and ugh what the hell did we miss in all those days??? I’m actually legit worried about what bad things could have happened/are brewing...

Aaand speak of the devil. Or devil-lady. Nas is apparently doing something shady (shocking, I know) and Weller comes to investigate, since apparently she's been 'sneaking off every morning'. Oh, great. You know what, maybe I'm glad we've skipped ahead two weeks, if these two have continued their... whatever the hell this is... during all that time. But seriously dude, Jane is back and you guys are actually on good terms again, why are you still with the rebound??? Unless... unless she's no longer the rebound but rather the barrier. Like with Jane back and their old connection starting to reform, maybe he's using this thing with Nas as like a buffer to keep himself from gravitating back to Jane-- lbr, he's the proverbial moth to her flame, and vice versa-- and so basically this thing with Nas is all just a way of protecting his heart by keeping it far away from the one woman who could truly crush it? Honestly rn that's the story I gotta go with bc otherwise I’m gonna get stuck obsessing over wtf is going on here with these two  completely ill-suited people. Sigh. But anyhow apparently Nas used to get messages from this sign from the Sandstorm informant (did she ever look into how though? Like did the informant know or pay off the person who types them? Or did they hack in themselves? Surely that was a lead that should have been followed??) and so apparently she's still checking it. Also damn, the quote up on the sign: "The soul can never be cut to pieces by any weapon"-- very true about Jane, given all she's been through and how strong and incredible she's manages to remain through it all....

But anyway now there are two thug-like dudes just sneaking thuggishly amongst a bunch of shipping containers and lbr it's already a better scene than the previous one. And then a Distinguished Looking Man and a younger man (his son, I'm guessing?) exit one of the containers, looking Distinguished and Mysterious. Dude, I hope you guys didn't come from far away, bc that would not have been a fun journey...

Ooooh Weller's lady-juggling is apparently not going so well as he ends up missing Allie's appointment-- what's she now? 20 weeks, give or take? And yet that's one tiiiiiny belly she's still got... like okay yes, some women barely show at all, even well into the second trimester, but lbr NEVER TV WOMEN. TV women are usually always sporting one of those massive fake belly things so that we, the poor silly viewers, don't forget that “HEY THIS LADY GOT KNOCKED UP, THERE'S DEFINITELY A BABY KICKING AROUND IN HERE SO GET READY FOR IT TO FLY ON OUT AND MESS SHIT UP AT ANY MOMENT". And yet, with this show... nothing? Some slightly baggier clothes, maybe, but not even a moderate bump. What does it mean?? Are they sneakily trying to tell us that ~all is not as it seems~ with this pregnancy (like hey, maybe Allie even sneakily moved the appointment forward so Weller would miss it)-- or, am I just reading to much into things, and the show’s prop-masters were simply out of stock on the Defo-Preggo fake bellies and decided it didn't matter and we probably wouldn't notice its absence anyway? Seriously I have been super suss of this pregnancy from the start (mainly bc why the hell would it even have been written into the story unless for some kind of ~Shock Drama~ down the track) so maybe I'm looking too hard for hints? Lbr it's gonna take a fair bit to shake me from my 'Allie is a Sandstorm operative and is faking the pregnancy bc of reasons' theory. And Cutie Connor can totally fit into that too. But anyhow Weller is a sweetie and is trying very hard to be a Good Dad(TM). Oh, my son. Why do I strongly get the feeling that you will never even get the chance to be a dad to this baby. (*whispers* there's always your babies with Jane to look forward to, tho...)  

Oooh it's back-to-work day for Reade (two weeks post-surgery really isn't enough for a physical job like his, but whatever I'mma overlook it) and omg he and Zapata having an awkward little chat and dude is this really the first time they've spoken since that terrible kiss? Really?? So there was just radio silence between them, two best friends, for two weeks while he was practically an invalid. Ooookay. Sure. On a brighter note, there was a rat in the lockerroom that Reade had named Whitey Bulger hahaha. That's adorable. I hope it was released humanely. Reminds me of the mouse that used to live in the wall of my parents’ house and its hole was right near the computer desk so I would feed it crumbs when I was up on the computer at like 3am haha. Ah, good times. Also okay hold on google says that Whitey Bulger was an infamous crime boss who murdered like 20 people. Ohhhhh and apparently he was an FBI informant, aka a rat. I wonder if the rat was white, too? Though generally wild rats are brown. But wow okay I am getting very distracted (lbr it's the secondhand embarrassment from this super awkward interaction, I can't deal so I’m avoiding the whole thing lol)

Phew okay now we can switch to a far more pleasing scene-- my baby Patterson is back at it, and I'm not even gonna comment on the bullet-wound recovery time. Just look at this restraint I’m showing. Anyway based on Zapata's very pointed comments, lil baby Patterson has refused to take any time off. Ugh. Though if I were her I wouldn't really want to be at my apartment either. I wonder if Borden left anything there... :( also Patterson still has a nasty headache, which sounds ongoing and is not all that consistent with the eardrum-stabbing. It could be a bunch of things, including lack of sleep, but... I wonder. Maybe Sheherd was sneakier than we thought. But for now let's just hope our baby is okay.

Looolll I feel like I'm watching a married couple having a fight over what's best for their kid or something. But lbr here if not for the pressure that Weller's facing to show that he's 'punishing' Roman somehow (seriously we know how Pellington fels about Roman, not to mention how all the agents under Weller’s command must feel about the man that helped kill 12 of their own), I feel like he would be on Jane's side of this argument. Although, he probably also recognises the influence Roman has over Jane, and might be worried that Roman could pull her away from him... but anyhow it's entertaining to watch these two in their own little bubble with Nas off to the side, just awkwardly hovering there like she's an afterthought. Neither one particularly wants her input rn but she has to be there, so... but then she suggests bringing in an 'expert' that she knows and that sets off instant alarm bells for me. DO NOT TRUST ANYONE ASSOCIATED WITH NAS, INCLUDING NAS, OKAY GUYS? THEY’RE SNAKE-PEOPLE, THE LOT OF THEM. This is bound to bode ill for Roman and Jane and like probably everyone somehow

Aw my clever baby has cracked (or re-cracked) an old tattoo, which previously had given them a random number but now correlates to a shipping container-- naturally, the very one that our mysterious duo exited earlier. And due to some handy camera unscrambling, we know that Distinguished Man is a supposedly-dead warlord dude that did a bunch of bad things and was actually indirectly involved in the team nearly getting killed in Turkey last season. Oooooh, drama.

So the kiddies are heading into the bullpen-- Reade joining Weller and Jane as they head together to the main briefing area. So wait how come Jeller were off on their own just then, given that the team was all just together down in Patterson's lab a minute ago? (*cough* quickie?? *cough*) But anyhow traces of nitroglycerin were found in the container apparently so ooooh bomb??? But apparently the company who paid for the container also paid a bunch of dough to some other lady, so the team brings her in-- and finds out the money was 'life insurance' from the death of her brother a few days ago. But hold on, she never even saw the body, said that he'd already been taken to the morgue. And bingo, this story is already throwing up a ton of flags. I can tell you from direct experience that when a person dies in hospital, a doctor (ie, me) is immediately called to certify them, and then we tuck them in nicely and ensure they look peaceful before we contact the family and allow them to come in. And unless the family is like hours and hours away, the patient will remain in their room until they've had a chance to say goodbye. If the family can't get there for a long time, they're taken to the hospital’s mortuary where they await pickup by the family's chosen funeral director. At any point in this process the family can still be taken to see the patient if they wish. So clearly, something else happened with this woman's brother, and someone paid off multiple hospital staff to make it look how they wanted. Definitely not easy to do. And now, according to Patterson, it turns out he was actually transferred elsewhere... this is all veeeeery shady

Ugh Jane going to Roman and using Borden's coffee example to help reach out to him. Ughhhh. And then ugh he asks her if Shepherd loved them and why she wiped his memory and this puts Jane in such a tight spot bc if she said Shepherd did it but didn't love him then how does she explain later that she herself did it out of love and aarghh. But her answer "maybe she thought it was the only chance she had left to get you back” is a good answer. I'm still sad that she had to lie to him about it, and the ramifications that that's going to have. Please understand, Roman, she loves youuuuu and only wants what’s best for you!

Meanwhile Patterson's found the person who last visited the dude in hospital, bc she's da boss. And then Weller asks if she ran the plates and she practically rolls her eyes at him, sassily gesturing over her shoulder just as a photo of the plates appears on the screen behind her. Badass. The team subsequently goes chasing the car-- which is conveniently like ten mins away-- and suddenly it's like we’re in the middle of a black SUV convention when the team surrounds the target cars, the two separate sides differentiated only by the fact that out of one set of cars comes our badass team with their big guns, and out of the other comes a murdering, bloodthirsty, terrorist warlord... and something much worse. KEATON. And lbr I will forever be proud of Jane for the fact that she has her torturer directly in her line of fire and yet doesn't even once struggle with the temptation of pulling the trigger. Because no matter what she's been through-- and no matter what Remi did in the past-- Jane is not a killer. (Let's just agree to overlook the whole thing with Fisher bc that man was an evil little weasel and deserved what he got). And then Zapata discovers a possible bioweapon in the car, ratcheting tensions even higher until Keaton is all 'chill, it's just a pilfered body part'. And lbr, Keaton is so damn repugnant that this is the only way he could ever steal anyone's heart. (badum-tish?). But omg then Jane tells Weller-- while staring at Keaton with bared teeth-- that he was the one who tortured her. And being the little shit-stirrer he is, Keaton tries to imply that Weller has known all along (actually only two weeks and 4 days, but who's counting), and Jane's trust in Weller wavers just slightly at that, given that he'd told her from the start that he hadn't known anything about her torture. Which was true, at the time. And now he quickly reassures her-- while staring absolute daggers at Keaton-- that he only found out in Bulgaria. I wonder if he's mentally reliving that last meeting bc oh boy I sure am. Ah, those satisfying choking sounds. But anyhow, it turns out that Warlord Man's son needs a heart transplant and the CIA is providing it in exchange for info about planned terrorist attacks. The traces of 'nitroglycerin' that was found in the storage container was actually from the kid's heart medication (glyceryl trinitrate, in case you're interested, though he likely wouldn't be on that medication for this particular condition. Also to get those traces around the container I guess he must have been doing a Great-Escape style boredom activity, just with throwing his tablets instead of a ball. Anywho tho Jane tells Weller he can't trust Keaton, and as he always does (or did, in the old days) he finds a way to do what she suggests that is also going to appear acceptable to the Big Bosses. Which in this case means inviting Keaton and Co into their base. Joy. 

So not only does the team have to work with the world's biggest asshat, but there's an attack tonight that they need to stop. Zapata takes Anton the Warlord's phone and laptop to Patterson bc apparently she can't face the idea of interviewing him with Reade (come on kids, we're all grownups here) and everyone suddenly disperses, leaving Jane alone in the room with Keaton. I kinda feel like that's an oversight that Weller wouldn't actually make (and lbr he's always been super aware of where Jane is and what she's doing at all times) so I kinda feel like he is deliberately giving her this chance to face Keaton alone? He knows she wouldn't do anything foolish-- such as, say, try to choke him to death, like a certain someone-- and knows she needs this closure. And omg Keaton is now boo-hooing about missing his kid's basketball games because he had to spend his time 'interrogating' her. Damn, that's cold. He's literally acting like she wronged him. (Can I claw his eyes out now, please?? Since Jane is too good of a person to do it??). But well, at least Keaton’s shittiness gives us this scene of Jane storming into Weller's office. He's sitting and staring pensively at a watch in his hands-- what's the significance? Was it his father's? What am I missing here?? and she bursts in all angry and hurt that they're working with Keaton after what he did to her, which lbr would basically feel like everyone dismissing it as no big deal. But thankfully Weller makes it clear-- with his Serious Voice and turbulent eyes-- that he hates it too and even nearly killed Keaton when he found out. And boy, does that take the wind out of her sails. Yes, Jane, Mr Always-Do-The-Right-Thing literally nearly murdered a high-ranking government official for hurting you. And ugh you can see how much that means to her-- lbr with them, that's basically as much an admission of love as any kiss could be... 

Aaaand then of course Nas has to appear to ruin the moment, because that's literally like her entire role on this show; Ms Shady Backstabber and Moment-Ruiner. And oh joy, she's brought her 'expert', who on one hand I am pleased to see is a disabled WOC, bc yes good tv representation, but on the other hand I wish she just wasn't there at all. That actress was great in Quantico though. Literally tho in the first minute the doctor has called Roman a 'prisoner' and a 'killer'. Biased, much??? I have literally treated jailed murderers myself, and the entire medical staff would always refer to them only as 'the patient' or at the very worst, 'the inmate'. So this lady is really already rubbing me the wrong way here. As much as I dislike her, though, I agree that Jane shouldn't be there for her assessment. But ugh I hope she can watch on cameras or something just so someone is keeping an eye on what they do to my poor puppy... but seriously tho let's all take a moment to appreciate how well Jane keeps herself in check like all the time?? I mean she's constantly copping crap from people and she just takes it with such grace (okay sometimes with a little less grace but generally very well) and ugh I just love her so much

Speaking of Jane, she takes her turn watching over Anton, and while the man refused to say a word to Reade, the sight of Jane has him opening right up. I feel ya, buddy. I'd spill my guts to her too. I enjoy that they bond over their mutual hatred of Keaton. Can I join that party? Also ugh the way he talks about his son not being like him, and being deserving of a proper life... kinda like Jane still deserves a good life despite who her 'mother' is and what she's done. But oh geez, his next line-- "You know what's the worst thing that can happen to a man, Jane? To lose a child." AAAAHHHH RED FLAGS RED FLAGS THIS IS FORESHADOWING I JUST KNOW IT. DOES THIS MEAN THE WRITERS ARE GONNA KILL OFF WELLER'S BABY??? DOES IT???? And then oh shit, the son dies (I am still sure that that line was foreshadowing more than just his death though) and the team is all like wtf do we do??? Naturally Keaton thinks the only option is to lie, which Jane strongly disagrees with, both of them turning to Weller, who brings them both with him to see Anton. Keaton gets in there and starts spouting lies-- only for Weller to step up and tell the truth, while also being genuinely sympathetic. Yaaaaasss my son taking Jane's side and doing the right thing, as he should :) And ugh she is so sad for the man's loss and tries to get him to see that his son wouldn't have wanted this. 'His ideals aren't like yours' oh boy does she know all about that. But even her heartfelt pleas can't get through to him (come on, dude, look at that faaaace) and so now the team is really in trouble... But as always happens when shit hits the fan, everyone turns to Patterson, who naturally comes through, tracing a phone that got a coded message from Anton's phone, giving them the lead they desperately need...            

But while my beautiful and trustworthy team is busy doing that, Shady and Shadier are starting their mindgames on my poor lil caged lion Roman. Keep your devil-claws off him, ladies! That means you, sneaky shrink! Also if he is believed to be so dangerous and unstable, there is no way she would be that close to him, especially without any guards present. He could kill her in a single second. And speaking of which, baby Ian just stabbed the hell out of one of the other boys at the orphanage (the one that stole his coin), seemingly on the order of their captors? And in the earlier flash that we got, the guy said "Will you kill your rabbit now?" So these are two separate memories, right? The rabbit is really a rabbit, yeah? Like ‘rabbit’ isn't a metaphor for a 'target' or something right? Either way, daaaaamn, these poor kids...   

Aaaaahhhhh we're getting another Jeller heart-to-heart moment in the caaaarrrr! I've missed these. I so wish Reade and Zapata were in the back seat pretending not to exist like they did in the good old days when Jeller were having a ~moment~, but sadly not this time. But ugh Jane is again expressing her fears about Roman's reaction should he find out that she zipped him, and I love this bc not only is Jane allowing herself to turn to Weller again for comfort, but she's also being open with him about her feelings, ensuring there's nothing hidden between them anymore (at least on her side. While I assume she's figured out the whole Nas thing, I doubt he's outwardly said anything to her). And ugghhhhh Weller doesn't hesitate to comfort her, reminding her that she has become a completely new person-- aka, a good person-- after her wipe. Yaaaassss for Weller acknowledging that Jane and Remi are separate people. And then ughhhh he says the wipe was the best thing that ever happened to her but lbr it's the best thing that ever happened to him??? That memory wipe brought her right to him, gave them the opportunity to know each other and fall for each other. Hers wasn't the only life that was changed forever the day she climbed out of that bag. But omg he's still not done??? He tells her that she not only saved Roman's life by doing what she did, but whatever hope he has left (of a life, of happiness and normalcy) is a gift that she gave him. Oh lord, help me. And then he turns to her and puts the heart eyes up to high beam and boy are they blinding. I'm legit gonna have lightspots in my vision for like the next hour. But ugh what I love most is that these are not his previous "I adore you and everything you are" hearteyes but more of an "I have done so wrong by you and though I know I could never make it right I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying" hearteyes and honestly JUST LET ME DIE. Oh wait, nope, I am about to die bc now we're in the other car with Zapata and Reade AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH THE AWKWARD. Save me. At least Reade is trying to talk it out like a grownup whereas Zapata is all but stuffing her fingers in her ears and going "la la la la I can't heaaaaar you" lol. 

Thankfully, Weller chooses that moment to rescue us all (he probably needed a distraction of his own bc he was becoming too lost in Jane's eyes haha) and everybody pulls into a place that looks kinda reminiscent of the spot where Zapata shot Jane. Everyone fans out, including Jane, and I will forever be so happy about the fact that she's back out with the team and trusted with a weapon and they all know they can rely on her as a true team member and ughhhh I'm just so happy to be getting back to the real heart of this show. And speaking of things that are right at the very core of this show, Weller has managed to get himself blown up yet again, this time by trying to stop a dude who had wired a bunch of basketballs on a rack into a bomb. Bad dude gets away with a bunch of other bombs, and Weller gets away with barely a scratch-- which doesn't stop Jane from yelling his name in alarm and immediately running to his side, even giving us an Unnecessary (but sadly not all that Lingery) touch on his arm as if she's reassuring herself that he's okay. Ah man. You guys are killing me. While this season has certainly frustrated me in regards to Weller's actions towards Jane, it definitely doesn't disappoint in hers towards him. Ugh, my stupid in-love babies, how I adore you

Anywho the whole crew is on the site now (including Keaton, which literally everyone there/the entire world could do without) and they realise that though there's no major basketball games on tonight-- which of course our resident ex-gambler knows-- there is a youth league game on, aka the one that Keaton's daughter is playing at. And how do they know this?? Because my baby Jane is a freakin' genius as well as a badass, and she actually listens to what people say, even if those people are jerks and don't deserve a second of her attention. And so now when Jane speaks, everyone listens, which is why they're all currently bolting to the kids' game. And Keaton is all "he's doing this to get at me" *whinge whinge*, and Jane is all 'bitch shut up there's a lot more people there than just your kid'. But naturally Keaton continues to bitch bc he's Keaton, then even annoyingly brings up the whole being a parent thing, at which time Jane sneaks an almost-sad look at Weller, because freaking everyone has to continuinally remind her that the man she loves now has a permanent tie to someone else. Great, thanks, show. 

But anyhow despite Weller having everything under control, Keaton manages to ruin everything as usual, getting his own agent killed and forever traumatising his daughter in the process. Weller and Keaton then bugger off in search of the daughter while Jane and the other two take out a bunch of baddies like the badass little team they are. Ah, so good to see them like this again. Jane splits off from the others to chase more baddies while the two of them try to defuse the bomb with Patterson's help. Bc when in need, always call Patterson. Jane's fight with the baddie in the gym is kinda hilarious, like at one point she sends him sprawling but rather than knocking him out she waits politely for him to get up before continuing their fight. Such manners :P  Although given the fact that she then slams a kettleweight straight into his face/chest, maybe she’d used up her quota of good behaviour haha. Meanwhile Patterson shuts down the cell signal to the area, preventing the bomb being activated via the mobile phone detonator... ummm is that a thing that's actually possible? Idek. Anyhow Weller and Keaton find the daughter at gunpoint in the locker room, and Weller's all "I haven't got a shot" though lbr I bet that ‘Mr Exceptional Marksmanship Award’ could totally shoot that guy's exposed hand. A moment later he gets the shot anyway when Keaton draws the baddie out, and all seems to have ended happily until-- dun dun dun-- there's another baddie, right about to shoot both Keaton and his daughter!! Only to be shot by Jane first, aka my perfect beautiful princess who always saves any life she can, even if that life belongs to the piece of slime that tortured her for three freakin’ months. Hey Weller, take notes. If Nas had been in Jane's situation just then, she would have sat back and watched. No doubt about it. At least Keaton is man enough to genuinely thank her tho, to which she gives pretty much the much more professional-sounding version of "screw you, asshole" lol. You go, girl.

Oh boy. So you put Roman into an ‘MRI’ and are now basing your diagnosis on the absence of a perceived response to a few pictures. Good lord, woman, you must have gone to a worse medical school than Borden. I don't even know where to start with this. Firstly the scan you're thinking of is a PET scan, but you literally can’t make this diagnosis based on that anyway!! And honestly lady have you ever opened a psych textbook in your entire life, there's a whole bunch of criteria to diagnose Antisocial Personality Disorder and ROMAN LITERALLY DOES NOT MEET THEM. Even Old Roman doesn't meet the majority of them, and New Roman meets practically none. This woman is a CHARLATAN and I will not TOLERATE THIS DISRESPECT TOWARDS EITHER OF MY BABIES. Gaaawd. So now poor Roman is in danger of being locked away in a padded room for his whole life on the word of one woman; one woman who they know nothing about except that she comes recommended by Nas (which should be an automatic black mark against anyone's name imo) but also a woman who just told Jane-- aka Jane who grew up in Hell's Orphanage and has been through unfathomable shit her entire life including three months of recent physical torture-- and this woman just told her she can't possibly imagine how 'terrible' this Sudanese orphanage was that she visited once as a student. Good lord, can I slap her yet. Please. At least Jane kind of calls her on it, raising the point that she grew up in exactly the same way as Roman, but it's clear the snake-charmer's mumbo-jumbo has her doubting herself. Ugh. At least Weller doesn't seem at all happy with the idea of having to lock Roman up-- probably bc he knows how it'll hurt his precious Jane, and after allowing her to suffer for so much of this season he's finally gotten his shit together and realised she didn’t/doesn't deserve any of it and now desperately wants to make up for his previous ass-ish ways.

Speaking of ass-ish ways, Zapata has decided to grow up a little and reach out the olive branch. Thank god. She even apologises, which is impressive, because this is Zapata... although she still manages to turn it into a bit of a joke. I do love the "you're not even my type, though" (we know, Sarah is) and the "why, too smart or too classy?" Thankfully he calls her on the classy part, and yaaayy we are back to the sassy banter that I like :))) Brotp forever please. Also Reade aren't you still on pain meds? You shouldn't really be drinking... And then aww she wingmans for him (which would have been hilariously awkward if the girl had actually been checking HER out. Man, that would have been amazing). But then hold on writers, what is this little ~look~ she throws back at him?? Please tell me that that was just a slightly wistful 'If only I could love him as something more than a brother, who knows, we could have been a good couple" and not a "I'm pretending I don’t have feelings for you bc though I actually am in love with you I don't want to drag you down into the trash pile with me". Bc legit if the writers go down the path of the latter, I'm going to be so pissed. JUST LET THEM BE BEST FRIENDS, OKAY??? NOT EVERYONE WITH OPPOSITE GENITALS HAS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER, GEEZ.

Naw Patterson finds Jane sitting behind the mirror, watching over Roman like the loving-- and worried-- big sister that she is. And Patterson, bless her, my precious angel made of fairy dust and sunshine-- gently reassures her that 'psychology isn't even a real science so you shouldn't listen to anything the shrink says' (or something along those lines lol), and then ughhhhh when Jane is basically acknowledging that she has no power to fight the shrink's diagnosis because she 'isn't objective', Patterson gifts us with this: "Maybe that's the point. Weller wasn't objective, and he brought out the best in you. Maybe you can do that for Roman". And so the Queen has spoken: lack of objectivity = LOVEEEE, and love will set you free and all that jazz. But ugh Patterson I could kiss you rn (not like I would ever need much encouragement any other time, tho lol)

Okay if no kissing then could I at least write you a prescription for some better pain killers because I hate seeing you suffer like this (ugh Shepherd what sneaky thing did you do to my precious baby). At least the pain meds that she has-- while useless for the pain-- actually help her to crack the leopard clue. Wooo! Shame she had to get Nas involved, but at least she's telling Jane pretty much immediately. And because Patterson is a genius, she determines that the clue points towards a chick in some bikie gang, who is seen in a photo with none other than Roman. Guess we know what next ep is about!!  #exciting

Oh joy, an Allie and Weller scene. I was totally just thinking that this ep needed more of them (#not). But oh my goddddd he's been nesting, setting up a nursery and buying a crib with the highest safety rating and trying out colour swatches for the walls and oh my lord this is simultaneously the worst and the best thing bc 'excited prospective-dad Weller' is SO ADORABLE but the circumstances and partner are definitely... less than ideal, shall we say. Siiiiiiiigh. And then BAM Allie's suddenly moving to Colorado with Connor and Weller cares too much about her to ever even consider trying to get her to stay and so okay I see two options here: either the writers are trying to make us think Allie is going to be out of the picture, so when some Big Bad Thing happens involving her and the baby, it'll be an even bigger twist; or, she literally does move to Colorado and the show very occasionally mentions Weller's interstate baby in future seasons just so we don't start thinking that the whole storyline was just a really protracted, mass-shared bad dream. Since the second would just be embarrassingly bad screenwriting, I'm pretty much hoping for the first option...

Well, there it is. Happy Blindspot Day, and see you for the (hopefully much more punctual) next installment!