#not very happy with the shading either so im gonna put a second version

[auto-manic]

when your champion gets shot by an arrow tipped with some bizarre paralysis poison and gets stuck clinging to you like a koala and her weird vampire friend that's good with this alchemy stuff isn't around

[hansolmates]

jjk; angel’s trumpet [01]

summary; one second, your life is flashing before your eyes and the next, you’re transported into a world exactly like your own. but the jungkook you meet in this world isn’t a renowned singer or your former almost-lover, in fact he has no clue who you are and why you know him so well. as you work to find your way home lost and confused, you conclude that you’re either dead or in the middle of the most wicked drug trip of your life. pairing; idol!jk x reader (f), alternatively film producer!jk x reader genre/warnings; fluff, angst, supernatural, idol!au, non-idol!au, alternate universes, themes of fate, language, alcohol consumption, mentions of smut in future chapters w.c; 2.7k a/n; after spending an entirety of june on this fic im proud to release it! this story is based on the prompt “I’m losing my mind!” for @btsghostiewritersnet​ BGW Bingo Bash! I hope you all enjoy this mini series and stay tuned for this wild ride

[01] [02] -> masterpost

“Just give it up!” Jungkook snaps, and you flinch at the sudden raise in voice level. Jungkook is a soft spoken person, only really having the audacity to speak up at the strength of his friends or when his body burns with attention after a performance. The fact that he chooses to use this tone around you, gets you seeing white hot. 

“How can I give up something that hasn’t even started?” you shoot back just as stubbornly. He won’t even let you in his room, and it pains you that he wants to fight out in the hallway where anyone could walk in and see. You glare at the heavy arms that bar your way inside, as if he’s creating a barrier for you, both emotionally and physically.

You hate this. For the past three months you’ve hated this version of yourself, manifested between the strained relationship of you and Jungkook. It pains you to see each other like this. Jungkook’s ears are tinged red with fever, simultaneously a little sick and a little annoyed at the fact that you wouldn’t let up. 

It wasn’t always mismatched stares and bouts of mixed signals whenever you two entered a room. There was a time when it being in each other’s presence was like a breath of fresh air, a bakery full of nothing but sweets and mouth-watering confections. That’s not to say that your relationship with Jungkook was, or is easy. After all, Jungkook chose a life that is never meant to be easy, no matter how far deep. 

But at the crux of everything, deep in your gut, you know that the both of you have that spark. 

“We can’t be together.” Jungkook states simply, pressing his coral lips together in a thin line. “My career! The traveling, the media, my crazy schedule, all of this, it doesn’t match.” 

It doesn’t match. Like the way a toddler puts a triangle block in a square space. In your opinion Jungkook is pointing out shallow, baseless reasons. You’ve gotten this far together, not quite addressing any officiality but leading to it. If all of his reasons really mattered, you wouldn’t be here right now. Unfortunately, Jungkook’s deciding to cut the line when the two of you have already sunk so deep. 

You’re both hurting, Jungkook doesn’t want to admit that. 

“But that doesn’t matter to me!” you reason, and you’re crumbling. Jungkook was once a fighter, too. Today, it feels like it’s just you who’s taking a stand, grappling on thin slices of thread that resemble what little confidence Jungkook has in the both of you. “I want to keep you grounded. I want to be the person you come home to.” 

Jungkook’s face reaches the final boss: a frustrating shade of scarlet, stunned at how shameless you are. You didn’t care, you know what you and Jungkook feel for each other is real. 

In a fit of emotion your hands reach for the crook of his elbow, grappling the black fabric between your fingers. It’s enough to ignite heat in your veins, starved of touch from so many nights apart and text messages that weren’t enough to convey how you truly felt. 

Jungkook’s eyes drag from your grip to your face, eyes glimmering. You look so small in the large hallway, empty and echoing between both your heaving breaths. There’s acute control in his expression, as if he’s grappling to reach both an inner and outer peace with himself. 

You bite your lip, sealing away your whimper of protest as he takes his hand in yours, untacking your grip. He’s not rough, but not gentle either as your hand pendulums to your lap. 

He turns his back to you, and for the first time you’re glad he looks away because the tears have already fallen. “Maybe in another world, we’d work out. But not this one.” Jungkook whispers, slamming the door to his studio. 

•━━━━━━»•»💮💮💮«•«━━•••

“Baby, it’s okay! You’ll find a new person to love!” The neverending flow of liquor and poetics is provided by none other than Sehlyung, a fellow employee you befriended after you got hired as a language teacher. 

You barely register Sehlyung’s hopeful smile through your misty eyes. Feeling bloated with liquid and far too tired to reply, you bob your head against the bar table. 

Sehlyung is the epitome of a fun time, and the first person you thought of to help quell your aching heart. A relationship that first started off as snide jokes and offhanded work qualms that eventually turned into a deep understanding and care for each other. After a long day of work she pulled through for you, showing up at the bar like a warrior in emerald green pencil slacks and an untucked blouse. At the edge of the bar she absentmindedly winds a lock of pale curly hair, sipping languidly from her electric blue beverage. 

“Listen, I get it. You think it’s the end of the world because Jungkook seems like the perfect catch—” the pretty blonde pauses when she notices your lip tremble, “but! He’s not that perfect, y’know. He—he sweats, sweats a lot, it’s like he’s freakin’ Niagara! It takes forever to get outfits on him in-between sets, it’s like clothing a wet noodle.” 

You choke back a laugh, shaking your head. “That is one flaw.” 

“A-and he’s very,” she starts waving her hands around, plucking the answer out of thin air, “competitive? Remember that one time Nabi said he couldn’t finish that whole loaf of milk bread? And then he accidentally ended up eating the parchment paper?” 

That has you in a fit of giggles, recalling how scared he was when his urge to make Nabi regret her words bit him right back in the butt. The hospital’s personal phone became number 8 on his speed dial shortly after. 

A fond, tentative smile melts on Sehlyung’s lips. At least you had it in in you to laugh, which Sehlyung knows is a good sign. She runs her fingers over your hair, forehead damp from your previous wallowing and overconsumption. ”You’re gonna find yourself a simple, wholesome partner! One who’s top-tier normie and will have all the time in the world for you!” 

You grimace at the thought, despite how uplifting that sounds. You once thought that was the only life for you, a nuclear family with two point five kids (the half point being a puppy, of course.) While you wouldn’t mind that kind of life, after meeting Jungkook you decided long ago that all you ever needed in a relationship was his company and combined happiness. 

“Time isn’t the issue,” you slur, voice warped from how your lips fall tiredly against your arm. “This issue is that he doesn’t want to try.” 

Sehlyung doesn’t say anything to that, but instead prefers to pour you another glass of liquid despair. Of course, she knew how Jungkook got. Sweet and caring, but headstrong, letting nothing get in the way of his music. 

Evidently, you’re one of those things. 

“Boys are dumb,” she says simply, swinging her head back. 

“I’ll be okay,” you murmur, “it just hurts. There’s no closure, y’know? I feel it, I feel so much love for him. And I know he feels, he feels something.” 

Sehlyung bites her lip, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Hey, I got you a gift.” 

That gets you to perk up, your head tipping a miniscule degree. She pulls out a glass, filled with a clear liquid. It’s small, almost vial-shaped, enough for barely two shots. Inside, there’s a young flower shaped like a bellsprout. 

“It’s angel wine,” she chirps, pulling your shot glass to give you a hearty pour. “The old lady was selling it when I was getting my mom her ginger wine.” 

“Hm, is it like ginseng?” you ask curiously, grabbing the now half-empty bottle where the wet flower sat. The bell shape, despite being bloated with residual wine, still clung vibrantly to the glass. The bumblebee yellow and sunset orange tint looking absolutely mesmerizing. However, you’ve never seen an infused liquor quite like this. 

“Think so,” Sehlyung shrugs, “I’m sure you’ll like it though! I told her about how you got dumped and she said you’d need this to cap off your night!” 

She snatches the bottle from your hands, making sure it’s sealed tight before slipping into your purse. “That wine’s special, baby,” she winks, “save it for yourself when you get home, alright?” 

“Gee, Lyungie,” you deadpan, swirling the fragrant liquid, “I’m so glad my boy drama is spreading to your wine dealer.” 

Your friend holds her own drink in a toast, urging you to drink up. You don’t need to be told twice, the floral liquid going down surprisingly smooth. It’s sweet, and your whole body tingles. It’s like the feeling of being outside, and the sun shines over your exposed skin like a warm kiss. For a brief moment, you feel like you’re seeing pink and orange, blissfully satiated. 

“Mm,” you hum, licking your lips in hopes the feeling will return to you, “that’s some good stuff, got anymore?” 

Sehlyung scoffs, only mildly jealous that you get that particular drink all to yourself. “I wish. An arm and a leg cost me that, my hometown is very far!” 

The rest of the night is a haze, a comfortable one. Sehlyung goes off about Namjoon and his countless wardrobe malfunctions, keeping her from going home on time one way too many nights. You talk about how you’re getting into real progress with Soobin’s English, and how he doesn’t complain his head hurts when he speaks in full sentences. Hopefully he isn’t too mad when you send him a pop quiz next Tuesday. 

Sehlyung’s cab drops you off first, and she bids you a hug and kiss goodbye. She tells you to come a little early before your first class, because she wants to redesign Seokjin’s blazer for a new shoot and she wants you to pick out the best crystals. 

You know she just wants to show off and that your opinion is minimal because most of the decisions are made weeks before, but the gesture is appreciated. From Sehlyung’s knowing gaze, you have a feeling that she’s also doing this because she wants to keep you at arm’s length for as long as possible. 

The cab zips away first, leaving you in front of your apartment complex. You’re teetering on your heels like an infant, and you’re surprised that you managed to fake-sober this far into the night. 

Speaking of. It’s beautiful outside. With a tired sigh, you wrap yourself further into your burgundy knitted scarf, begging for warmth. You feel a fresh bout of tears surfacing as you look onto the pale yellow moon, shrouded by thick ghosty clouds among the starless sky. You wonder if Jungkook is looking at the same moon, thinking the same thing. 

You shake your head and wipe your tears, absolving you of that romantic notion. Jungkook hasn’t had the time to look at the stars in so long. You imagine he’s probably either working or sleeping soundly in his bunk, completely oblivious of the semi-depressing night you’ve had. You don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse that Jungkook doesn’t have the opportunity to dwell on feelings for too long. 

The midnight sky starts to flicker, as if night and day are competing for dominance. Either that, or it’s really late in the night and early in the day. Your vision starts to blur, and you wonder if the secretary at the front desk would be so kind as to help you up to your apartment. It’s embarrassing, but it’s better than you cracking your skull open in the middle of the hallway where anyone can find you. You clutch your head, bemoaning on how much alcohol must be running through your blood if you’re hallucinating this much. 

Wiping your bleary face, you dig into your purse for your keys. Upon pulling out the key your favorite lip balm rolls onto the street. A little part of you feels like leaving it behind so you can get to bed, but it’s your favorite one and you are so close to finishing it. Muttering a curse at the thought of bending down at the possibility of you vomiting in public, you quickly scramble to the ground. Your knees buck at the pavement, tiny stones digging into your skin. Focusing your gaze on the pink and blue plastic, you reach for the glittery tube. 

Unfortunately, you’re not quick enough to notice the moving truck swerve the corner and skid towards your body. 

•━━━━━━»•»💮💮💮«•«━━•••

The first thing you notice is that it’s unbearably bright. Like when you vegetate in a dark classroom watching a movie, and the teacher suddenly flips the lights on without warning and your brain panics from the shock. 

You’re also painfully sober, as if you didn’t have a liquor-based dinner. Your bladder doesn’t feel like a small child is sitting on it, and you’re wide awake. 

Someone’s yelling at you, their voice shrill from emotion yet gravely from the early morning. Suddenly there’s a whip of hot air against your hair and a harsh skid as the smell of tire on gravel fills your nose. You’re on sensory overload, and you don’t have the capacity to care about your surroundings. 

This is probably the third time you have to mentally repeat to yourself that it’s daytime, the sun shining brightly on your fallen form. Your body is splayed out in a half-starfish position, and you quickly close your legs in fear of someone seeing up your skirt. You put up a hand to cover your face, and it’s instantly snatched up by a larger one. 

“Hey, hey! Are you okay? I know I turned the corner pretty fast, but you shouldn’t be standing in the middle of the street like that!” the person calling you sounds frantic, frustrated at your lack of response. 

Your eyes flicker to the small jet black cruiser strewn across the sidewalk, haphazardly parked. Fingers curling around the person’s hand, you look up at their face and scream. 

It’s now their turn to collapse on the floor, eyes wide and terrified. Their soft black hair is fluffy and sweaty from using their helmet, now rolling away from their grip. 

“What?” he screams back, as if there’s something on his face. His hand whips up to clutch his collar, undoing the top button because he’s starting to sweat profusely. “Are you really injured? Do I need to call an ambulance or something—” 

“Jungkook!” you cry, ripping the woolen scarf from your neck to wrap it around the top half of his face. You scramble between his legs, making sure his piercings, tattoos and any other identifiable part of his body is concealed. You don’t even think about your fight from last night, knowing that it’s miniscule in comparison to Jungkook being swarmed by PR. “Kook, what the fuck? It’s broad daylight, you can’t be out like this without a mask! Where on earth did you hide that bike? Why—are you wearing fucking pastel green? Since when have you added color to your wardrobe?” the boy noticeably pauses at the attention to his outfit, tensing under your ministrations. “Dispatch will have your ass and the devil Min Yoongi’ll kill you again for sneaking out—”

It’s then that Jungkook snaps, two strong arms pushing you away like paper. You don’t expect Jungkook to ever lay a hand on you, and with a surprised yelp you’re painfully shoved onto the pavement.  

“Get off of me!” he cries, and throws your scarf on your lap. “Who the hell are you and why do you know my name?” 

He’s scared, holding his helmet like you’ve burned him. His doe eyes are glistening and dewy, as if you’re someone he should be running away from. 

“Jungkook—” and as you hold out your hand to him, you realize. 

I’m losing my mind, you think, clutching your head to double-check no injury has come to your brain. His hair is much, much longer. It waves and falls into his eyes, as if he’s just gotten out of bed. He’s wearing a backpack, and you notice some crumpled post-its sticking out of the zipper. Clipped around his neck is a university ID. Heck, he isn’t even wearing an outfit you recognize. Gone are the cargos and oversized sweats, replaced with professionally tapered dress pants and a plain polo. 

Is...  is Jungkook wearing khakis? 

It’s daylight, you’re sober, and the Jungkook that’s standing in front of you is not your Jungkook. 

[swordmaid]

creator tag meme

tagged by the local angel @giuseppearcimboldo thank you so much lizzie!

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

VERY happy i can fill this out because i’ve been so productive this year lol. also this is all gonna be jb bc ive been RELENTLESS and spamming and i would apologize but i wont lmao 

1. jb eros/psyche au.

i am talking about everything i have done for the au btw, because i’ve done quite a handful of things and honestly i really love all of them--even the doodle ones which rarely happens. anyway, i love this au in general. i think the tale is perfect for them, and i’m happy with the works that i managed to put out most esp this one that’s based on canova’s sculpture of eros and psyche. translating sculpture into digital art was interesting since it was all about converting the weight and structure of the sculpture into the screen and i think i managed to do it imo! i love how brienne looks heavy in his arms, i love how strong jaime looks holding her up and i especially love the way i shaded her dress to mimic the lines that the statue has. all in all, this au slapped and i actually want to do more of it but i have no inspiration right now. 

2. jb as classical art series. 

honestly i never thought that this was going to be a series lol i thought it was just a two time thing, but then i did another one, and then another one, and then another one and now here we are. i love all the pieces that i’ve done for it actually. my favourite thing is that they’re all not direct translations of the original art. there are some aspects that i’ve taken and adapted while also putting my own flair into it. i love the reverse colour scheme with klimt’s kiss and my own rendition of it. the gold being the accent highlight in a field of murky brown/black whereas klimt has the black squares present to emphasis the richness of the gold and yellows. i also like the little thing i did where i put the geometric shapes outside of the subject instead of inside (what he did). i put on the tags that i didnt like how it turned out but i actually like it lol i just didn’t like how long it took me i get too impatient with my art i think. anyway. i love this whole series sm i think all the pieces have their own character, and tbh i always get nervous adding another piece into this just because all the ones that i’ve done has been so well received i don’t want to be a disappointment lool. regardless, i love classical art and i love jb and i love being able to put the two together hehe we love to be self indulgent

3. la belle fleur sauvage commission. 

aka THIS commission that was based from SD’s fic, la belle fleur sauvage. some behind the scenes with that one--that one took me SO long to do, like it was taking longer than i had wanted and i felt very bad and i am forever thankful for sd’s patience 😭😭😭. i really can’t be too mad though since i was working on the third year of my degree, but i still would’ve wanted to finish it sooner than i did. but as for the art itself---i actually love it lol. i always say to zoom in on my stuff to see all the details but i WISH folks would zoom in on that because it’s so big and so intricate. i love how everything turned out; i love how rich the colours are, i love the composition for all three panels, i love how the SKY looked like actually that’s the first time i sat down and painted clouds with that technique and i am so happy and pleased with how it looked im using it for everything LOL, i love jaime’s outfit in the 2nd panel---i actually designed a whole outfit for that and he DOES have his pouches and daggers, etc. stuff that he would have with him if he was a mercenary, but because of the cropping, those details were taken out but it’s THERE. i love the colours and the shading on the 3rd panel. it looks so soft and romantic and it’s everything 😭😭. honestly i didnt know if i was able to finish whole three panels just because of how big the project seemed, but tbqh this piece really pushed me as an artist and im really happy that i had the chance to work on it (-’: 

4. early morning.

this one is a more recent piece and i was thinking post canon jaime/brienne married and either living in casterly rock or evenfall hall. originally the sheets were gonna be red with the gold brocade but i just made it green to make their location more ambiguous. they’re in a castle because of the finery, but which castle i have no idea. anyway i love their faces here in particular--jaime because it’s not often that i draw him old (this is the second time i drew old jaime i think?) and i love how he turned out here. i love how he looks like a silver fox and a dilf and we really do love that for brienne. full disclosure, i have no idea how to draw older folks since i don’t have a lot of practice in that area so im glad my lack of experience doesn’t show lmao. i also love how soft brienne looks here! the little smile on her lips is very sweet, her body language and how relax she seems is very telling abt her confidence in this scene also i think i drew her hands hella well haha. all in all i think it’s a really sweet art! and the full version is not so bad either jaime’s ass was referenced from marble sculptures so you know im aiming for Quality. but i love this headcanon of a younger brienne tiring jaime out, i’ve read a handful fics about it and im happy i can do my own version of it hehe 

5. unravel.

wow we love domesticity. someone said that if you compile all my ns*w art of them together it’s like they haven’t left their bed ever since they got together and you know what? love that for them it’s what they deserve. anyway i chose this one because of how sensual and simple it is. their body language really does all the talking ; jaime’s hand pulling on the ties on her shift, her hand on his hair, how soft and lazy their kiss looks--it’s enough to tell the story me thinks! i just love how simple this whole thing is but it’s very effective. there’s really not much to it besides what you see but that’s really enough.

i am actually very proud of myself with how productive i’ve been. it’s really not often that i get as much drive and energy to post so much art. iirc my art tag is nearly 200 content already (i think it’s 180 ish rn?) and honestly that’s a LOT if you told me ill be making more than 100+ content for jb i would’ve been like nah im too lazy for that lmao. but im really proud of myself this year! i think i pushed myself as an artist and i’ve familiarized myself more with my strengths as well as my weaknesses. i have a clear idea on the areas that i need to work on, and i’ve really gotten more comfortable with being happy with my own pieces and i’m trying not to put myself down more if something doesn’t go the way i want it to. also, i’ve had the opportunity to work with more people this year--so for the people who has commissioned me or IS commissioning me rn--- thank you so much for trusting me with your visions 😭😭 ive never expected to get this kind of reception with my art but i am very grateful for all of it. 

anyway as for the tagging i tag -- @na-bruma-leve / @dreadwulf / @dilfjaime / @fawnilu BUT i would highly recommend you to come along and snatch this tag meme up like a little raccoon because we all should start being proud of our own works imo !!

[benhardyisdaddy]

In The Shadows - Part 4

MASTERLIST 

(okay so i feel like this is rlly long so im sorry lol my fics r like either super long or short no in between IM SORRY i hope u like it tho sksksks ily BYEEE oh also this pic gives me hot mysterious bf vibes so im using it)

Word Count: 2,750

You scarf down your warm meal within a minute. You stare at the now bare platter in front of you and smile. This is the fifteenth warm meal you’ve had in the last five days. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, breakfast lunch and dinner. Ben never misses a meal for you. You’re slowly getting healthier. The second day you were here was very challenging for you. You had broken out with a severely high fever. You couldn't control your shaking and could barely keep anything down. You had passed out three times in that day. What caused the fever? You two were still uncertain. You were so dehydrated and weak, it could've been triggered from anything. But you’re better now. Your skin is gradually getting its color back, the bags underneath your eyes are slightly less dark and now you can officially stand up without feeling like you’re going to tumble over. And that was a great feeling.

You continue to stare at your plate while lost deep in thought, when Ben knocks on your door.

"Come in!" you call out.

The door gently opens up and he peeks in. He grins and strolls over to retrieve your empty plates.

"Good?" he asks.

"Delicious." you reply back.

He smiles and walks to the window and pulls open the curtains. You gather your hair into a ponytail and hold it with a rubber band. Your hands feel your scalp and it's, of course, oily. You quickly become self conscious around Ben and look away. You don't want him to notice how scummy you must look. When you have no water to take showers with, it's kind of hard to maintain your hygiene. Ben looks over to you and you look down at your hands and your dirty nails. You try to quickly clean them.

"Hey," he says, trying to get your attention.

"Yeah?" you ask, still looking down.

"Follow me."

You look up fast, shocked. Ben walks to the door and stands there looking at you. You furrow your brows and shake your head not understanding.

"I want to show you something." he says, noticing your confused expression.

"You mean I can actually leave the room?" you ask, dramatically.

Ben fake laughs. You smile and slowly attempt to stand from the bed. Within seconds he's next to you and holding your arm. You gasp at his touch and freeze. He notices how tense you become and quickly lets go.

"I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “I was just gonna help."

"It's fine." you say back fast. "I'm fine."

You look up and half smile. Has this man housed you and fed you and kept you alive? Yes. Is the man still a vampire? Yes. Do you trust him?

No.

He takes a step back and walks to the door. You grab a hold of the medal cart that holds your IV and steady yourself. You walk towards the door and wheel it next to yourself. This is the first time you’re leaving the room since you’ve been here. You walk into the hallway and look around. A door at the end of the hall is closed. Another door beside it is closed as well. Ben starts walking to the left of your room as you pass a set of stairs that leads downstairs. You pass them and walk to another closed door. Ben opens it up and it reveals a bathroom. You stare into it confused.

"Ta da!" he sings out.

You look to him and back to the bathroom.

"Wow, um, it's big!" you say, attempting fake excitement. "But I already have a tinier version of this in my room."

He laughs and walks even further into the giant bathroom. You walk in behind him and look around. White. Everything is white. A white bathtub, a white shower, white toilet, the floors and walls are white, the counters and sink are even white. You walk in even further and notice a large cardboard box sitting on the counter. You look at it and then to Ben.

"Okay, well, while I was out, I decided to go into a store and look around. I figured, you've had a hard week, and you're a girl, and you might, maybe, like these?" he says, dragging his sentence out.

You walk to the box and slowly open it. Inside is a variety of different things. Mascara, eye liner, foundation, blush, powder, eye shadow, a toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, a razor, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and last but not least, tampons. You pick up the pink box and look over to him. He's blushing and shrugs.

"I had no idea what to get. I just figured you might need-"

You put up a hand to stop him.

"It's fine. Thank you. Honestly. I don't know the last time I've seen or even worn makeup. I use to all of the time before all of...this. So, seriously. Thank you."

He smiles widely and nods. Then his head perks up a little more as he holds up a finger.

"I almost forgot. Here," he says, walking to the shower.

He opens up the door and turns the handle to the right. Water pours down from the shower head and you stand there in amazement. You’re use to toilets working, but never showers. Steam fills the room as the water continues to rush down. Ben looks to you and smiles.

"Oh, here," he says.

He slowly reaches out for your arm and you jerk away, not thinking. He looks at you and lifts his brows. You smile apologetically and allow him to touch you. He peels away the tape of the IV and slowly pulls it out. You hiss at the slight sting, but it's over quickly. He grabs the IV cart and smiles.

"I'll leave you two alone." he says teasingly.

You laugh at him and smile. He exits the room and closes the door behind him. You walk to it and out of habit, lock it. You turn back to the shower and quickly undress. You lay your clothes on the counter and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You stare as you cock your head to the side at your reflection. You’re dirty and bruised. You close your eyes and take in a deep breath. You step into the shower and feel the warm water pour over your sore back. Your muscles ache as you lean your head back and allow the water to pour over your face. You grab the body wash and lather it all over your skin. All of the mud and dirt and blood that you have collected on yourself all washes away. The bottom of the shower turns into a brown mess as it all rinses down the drain. You finally wash and condition your hair. The oiliness is officially gone! You grab the razor and shave the tiny forest on your legs and under arms. Relief. You then stand under the water for several more minutes enjoying every last drop, then you finally turn it off.

You slowly open the shower door and step out. You grab a white towel hanging a hook and dry yourself off. You wrap it around your body and walk to the foggy mirror. You wipe some steam away and stare. You’re clean! You can't help but smile. You look to the counter and grab the deodorant. Something you’ve missed so terribly! After that, you brush your teeth. The strong minty flavor over takes your taste buds. You brush and brush and brush until you feel like they're clean. You spit and wipe your mouth. You look back up and smile in the mirror to view your teeth. As you’re examining your now pearly whites, there's a light knock at the door. You pause and listen.

"It's me," calls out Ben. "I have clean clothes for you. I'll just sit them here by the door."

Before he's done talking, you walk to the door and crack it open. He looks you up and down and then to your face. You suddenly remember all you have on is a towel. You fold your arms over your chest and blush.

"Uh, here you go. They were my sisters, if that's okay. They're clean, I promise. Oh, and the, uh, underwear… I got them from the store as well. They're not my sisters." he says as he laughs.

You reach out and take the clothes. You can’t help but laugh back at him.

"Thank you," you say.

He nods his head and awkwardly takes a step back.

"Okay, I'm just gonna..."

You quickly nod your head as well.

"Oh, yeah. Me too..."

You slowly shut the door and lock it again. You look at the folded clothes and sit them on the counter. You put on the undergarments and are happy that they fit. You then slip on a black tank top and grey sweats that are tight around your ankles. A large, long sleeved maroon colored cardigan is in the pile. You slip it on and then the black socks. You examine yourself in the mirror. First clean clothes you’ve had in months. Being here has given you a lot of firsts. You grab the towel and squeeze your damp hair. You bend over and shake your head. You stand back up and the room slightly spins. You grab the counter and steady yourself. It passes.

You then look to the makeup and think to yourself for a moment. Makeup or no makeup? You haven't worn it in months. You don't really need it anymore. I mean, when vampires take over the world, makeup doesn't seem like a big issue anymore. Then again, Ben did get it for you. And it wouldn't hurt to maybe look nice for once. Maybe just some foundation. He did get the perfect shade. You grab the tiny glass bottle and shake it. You open it and pour a little on your fingers. You spread the liquid all over your face and gently massage it. Your once red skin from the hot shower is now flawless. You look down to the mascara and pick it up. You shrug, open the tube and gently swipe it all over your lashes. In an instant, your eyes are brighter. You put the mascara back and grab the liner. You slowly put a thin line of black across your lid. You pull back and make sure it looks okay. You walk to the door and take a deep breath. You slowly open it and peer out.

You take a step forward and a movement catches your eye. You look forward and the room all the way at the end of the hallway is wide open. Inside is Ben. His back is turned to you as he lifts up his shirt over his head and tosses it to the ground. You feel almost guilty for watching, but you don't look away. You watch as the muscles in his back tense up with every move he makes. He grabs a shirt that was lying on the bed and puts his arms through it and then turns around. You realize that he's going to see you, so you freeze. He looks up to you and your eyes lock. Don't look at his abs, don't look at his abs. He slips his shirt over his head and walks towards you. He stares you up and down and shakes his head.

"Wow," he says. "You look-"

"Clean?" you interrupt.

He laughs and nods.

"Definitely clean."

You smile and turn to walk back to your room. You suddenly don't feel as insecure about yourself. You sit on the bed as Ben opens the drawer to get more supplies for the IV, when all of a sudden there's a knock at the door downstairs. You both pause and look at each other fast. Your heart races as you wonder who the hell that could be? Ben closes the drawer and stands up. He looks to the hall and then back to you. He slightly smiles.

"I'll be right back. Stay here." he says almost sternly

You nod quickly as he exits the room and walks down the stairs. You jump up from the bed and tiptoe to the hallway. You stop right by the stairs and listen. You hear a voice talk and then Ben. It's another man. You can only make out the words 'girl', 'healthy' and 'eat'. Eat!? Your heart races even faster. Eat what?! Eat me!?

"That wasn't the deal!" you hear the man shout.

A loud crash vibrates through the house. You jump at the noise and run back to your room. You look around frantically. You need to hide. You run to the closet and open it. Inside it's packed with giant, heavy cardboard boxes. You look through them, but they're all filled with either clothes or books. You turn around to run to the bathroom, but are stopped in your tracks. A brunette man wearing a long black trench coat is standing in the doorway, blocking it. He's smiling at you.

"Hi there." he says.

You say nothing. You continue to watch him as he steps closer. The man looked human, yet didn’t. His skin was unusually pale and his eyes were bright red. The bags under his eyes were almost black as every vein in his body bulged. His fingernails were disgustingly long and sharp and his overall features were distorted and terrifying. You knew exactly why he looked like this. This is what happens to a vamp when they live off of human blood.

"You must be (Y/N). Ben told us all about you."

You take a step back.

"He was right, you are pretty. And skinnier than I thought.” he says disappointed. “He was suppose to fatten you up. You know, the skinny ones always taste bland."

Your body begins trembling. Fatten me up?! Ben’s job was to get you healthy and what? Eat you? What happened to not hurting you? Nothing makes sense right now. He lied. He lied to you! And now you’re about to die, all because you actually thought you could trust him. A vampire! How stupid were you?  

"Oh well,” continues the man. “It doesn't matter. You'll still taste good."

And before you know it, the man lunges at you. You scream and run to your bed and jump on it. You attempt to run for the door, but he's too fast and blocks it. You stop and slowly back up. Tears flood your eyes, you can't stop them.

"Ben!" you scream out.

The man coldly laughs.

"Ben! Please!" he yells in a mocking tone. "It's no use." is all he says.

In a flash, he's in front of you with his hand tightly around your throat. You grasp his wrist and struggle to breathe. You try to fight out of his grip, but it's no use. He's too strong. The room starts to spin as you lose oxygen. You keep trying to scream for Ben, but can't.

"You know, it's a shame. He really liked you."

Just as the man reaches down to bite your neck, you hear a giant whack. The man tumbles forward as you slide to the ground. You take in a deep breath and cough. You hear another whack and look up. Ben is on top of the man, fighting him. A giant slash is on his forehead as thick black ooze pours down. Ben has a large frying pan and is slamming it into the man's head. You feel a sharp sting in your right arm and look down to it. Blood is oozing down from a long cut that you must have gotten when sliding down the wall. You look behind you and spot a sharp nail sticking out from the windowsill. You look back to Ben and you’re heart almost stops. They were both paused and glaring at you, their eyes pitch black. The man's face is snarling as he looks to your arm. A drop of blood drips down and splashes onto the hardwood floor. You look back up and in slow motion, Ben screams at you.

“RUN!”

The man is under him, trying to claw his way to you, leaving scratch marks on the floor. His actions and snarling almost turn animalistic. You finally understand what's happening. You fly up and do exactly as he says.

You run.

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[tidethreads]

Im that disappointed 5sos fan anon lol. Ok let’s start with: what the fuck?! Youngblood album sounds kinda amateur-ish. I am really surprised that this album sounds very radio pop-y. Also wearing nail polish and glitter on stage isn’t exactly gender bending like people in theatres have been doing that for ages. Can you review youngblood pls (i mean if you dont want to thats ok)

Same anon (sorry for my english its my second language heheheehe)

Oh you don’t have to apologise for your English (it’s great, really), it’s not my first language either, don’t even worry. x

I wasn’t all that surprised by the sound, all the uncertainty around the release and the eventual delays and re-recordings kind of tipped me off that lots of people had a say in how it was gonna sound and that it had to be sonically accesible to people etc. In all honesty, though, I don’t think that worked out.

Moving onto my review of the songs. I’m putting a read more because it got quite long, also I know I still have a lot of followers who like 5SOS so don’t hate me as most of my reviews are neutral/critical/negative. I’m open to discussion, though.

Youngblood: Don’t really have much to say about this, it’s pretty average to me, quite nice to listen to after the letdown that was WYB. I was disappointed by the live performances of this, though, Luke’s not a bad singer but this song live is just… not that great.

Want You Back: Ugh it’s clear this was an effort to include some super radio-friendly songs. This was reportedly written last and after the initial weird delays surrounding the album so it’s even clearer this was some kind of effort to produce a song that pleases “the masses”. I didn’t like the music video. As to the lyrics, I’m not the biggest fan but I appreciate the little details (freckles on your back etc.), other than that they are too general and repetitive and boring.

Lie To Me: Ahhhhh I have so many emotions when it comes to this song. It’s a big fuck you from me to anyone who shaded me and anyone else who remarked how unhealthy the influence that relationship had on Luke. I loved it when we first heard it live, I was so excited for the studio version and then the studio version just… sucked. I hate the production, I’m not into the vocalisation and that has made me not want to listen to it at all, when it’s one of the songs that get me the most, emotionally speaking, and I like the lyrics as well.

Valentine: Similar issue as with Lie To Me. I loved the live performance and felt let down by the studio version. The lyrics are generally good and cute except for a few minor lines I dislike (“classic together like egyptian gold” ??) but that’s personal preference. All in all a cutesy song that makes me all soft, I love happy cute love songs.

Talk Fast: I just feel nothing when I listen to this song. Nothing at all. It’s regrettably forgettable and all I can think of when I hear is that it would be good as a movie soundtrack. The bridge is too random for me.

Moving Along: Yes, finally a good song. I like the lyrics, I like the theme (Luke’s breakup songs about Arz are fascinating to me). It gives good insight into what he was feeling after the breakup, and honestly everything about that relationship interests me, I was /incredibly/ emotionally invested in it.

If Walls Could Talk: The most thematically interesting song on the album, without a doubt. The feeling that their fans would stop adoring them if they knew about the band members’ private lives, including the not so nice parts? Fascinating. Another song that the production kind of ruins for me - I just don’t like this sound very much. Also, the lyrics could have been better.

Better Man: Cheesy concept and cheesy lyrics but I like the chorus quite a bit (except for the “darling”). The pre-chorus after the second verse should have had different lyrics IMO. Also I don’t like the bridge (“you’re the only love that could make this bad man better” ?? really ?). Also the way Luke sings “better” in the chorus makes it sound like he’s imitating a british accent.

More: A little too rock for me but that’s personal taste and it’s not bad, I quite enjoy listening to it. Another song that’s painfully obviously about Arzaylea, which, again I like since it gives insight into the relationship.

Why Won’t You Love Me: The first verse is nice, I’ll give the song that. The rest I’m not the biggest fan of, I mean the chorus sounds immature and whiny and I get a mixture of bored and annoyed when I listen to the song in general.

Woke Up In Japan: I just… don’t get the song. I don’t have a lot to say about it, I’m not into the sound of this either.

Empty Wallets: Why is this song on the album. I can imagine it’s cool live but it’s another song I just can’t bring myself to care for. God, the further we get the less I can say about these songs.

Ghost Of You: Probably my favourite song sonically. The first time I heard it I immediately thought it was another breakup song about Arz, but someone said it was about the girl’s suicide so idk. Sad but pretty song. I saw a post on here by someone I’m not gonna name because I’ve had an issue with them once in the past, but they were basically pointing out that the song is in three quarter time and you could tell they were kind of feeling themselves for spreading this “inside knowledge” of how three quarter times are “dance songs” and I mean yeah, waltzes are in three quarter time but I was rolling my eyes so hard that everyone was praising the blog for being so insightful and thanking them for “sharing this knowledge”.

Monster Among Men: Finally something sung by Michael. Also, as I’m typing this the chorus is starting and I’m suddenly remembering why I don’t like this song. If I remember correctly, this is one of the songs Julia Michaels was involved in, which I have mixed feelings about. The chorus ruins the song for me, I’m not even interested enough to think about the lyrics.

Meet You There: All I can think of when I hear this how Arz leaked part of this. The lyrics are kinda cute (?) but sonically I hate that part after “I’ll meet you there” - you know what I mean. It’s the opposite of what I like listening to - that’s obviously not their fault, though.

Babylon: Love it, this is what I wanted the entire album to sound like. Also, listening to the album back-to-back you only realise how much you’ve missed Calum’s voice when you listen to this. Probably my overall fave? It makes me smile, I like the lyrics, I like the vocals, and I’m not going to a MYT show but it seems to work well live as well. Actually, the further the song progresses the more I like it. I’m gonna have to add this to my spotify songs now. (The only thing that irks me is how stereotypical this is for the trend of American writers to take a word that sounds ~exotic~ or ~cultured~ or ~decadent~ to gain people’s respect for having such a large vocabulary/are of knowledge.)