#not to sound whiny but i just want more feedback on this since its the longest solo imagine ive wrote so far

[felixsmeshglove]

caretaker - ; - hwang hyunjin x reader

authors note ; honestly, i am so much like this requested reader, i love to care for people so much and if i could i would literally take care of all of them like my babies. feedback is always appreciated, please enjoy!!

genre ; fluff, angst-ish, established relationship

pairing ; sick!hyunjin x reader

wc ; 0.9k

content warning ; emetophobia, discussion of vomit but no vomiting, illness, hyunie cries, burnt-out hyunjin

“hyune please you’ve been complaining about your stomach hurting all day, you were so hot when i touched you! please can’t it just wait until tomorrow at least?” you tried to plead with the man who was groggily attempting to set up his recordings spot for the live. you’d been so worried sick about him, but much the workaholic who wanted to keep up his image, hyunjin had insisted he at least do this live. 

“y/n, my dear you know i need to try to at least get something done..” hyunjin whined back. he sounded so uncomfortable as he sat down.

“okay just.. if you start to get worse, please tell me? please dumpling?” you attempted to reason.

“okay… fine, i will,” hyunjin responded with a weak smile. 

of course, he never told you…

it had only been forty-five minutes since the live had started. now, found yourself rushedly texting chan with a slight stress. hyunjin seemed to just become more and more uncomfortable as the time had gone on. he was now complaining of feeling so cold and shivering, and sweat was causing his stray fringe hairs to stick to his forehead as he seemed even more pale than before.

y/n: chan

y/n: channie

dad chan 🫡: what?

y/n: please can you come up with some excuse for hyune to get out of the live? he’s seriously not looking good

dad chan 🫡: he did the live still?

y/n: yeah and he needs to stop

dad chan 🫡: alright alright i’ll take care of it

y/n: thanks channie

it wasn’t long now before you heard the vibration and ringtone of hyunjin’s phone. he answers while on the live, he’s hugging a throw pillow restlessly with one hand as he holds his phone up with the other.

“hi channie-hung… ….what? you were wanting me to look over those lyrics tonight? aye.. sorry channie, i’ll get to that right away i just have to quick end my live.”

defeated, hyunjin gave a soft and slightly whiny sign off and waved to the camera before ending the live, giving an even louder whine this time.

he curls up on the sofa with a groan, clutching around his middle now as he looks up at you with almost teary eyes. he croaks out softly, with that iconic pout that he always has with those plush, beautiful lips, “i should have listened to you.. i think i’m gonna… fuck.. no…”

hyunjin cries out softly as he blinks back tears, reaching a weak hand out for you. you are by his side within an instant.

you are methodically rubbing shapes into his back as you try to console him.

“just so tired, love.. trying to get everything done lately ‘s been so hard..” hyunjin croaked out in a weak, needy voice.

“i’m gonna get you an ice pack okay..? you’re so warm, dumpling,” you coo softly at him, trailing your hand down his cheek. your palm takes a brief pause over his cheekbone to thumb a few loving strokes into his cheek before continuing its path down his cheek and jaw.

you kiss his clammy, warm forehead briefly and stand up, smiling and humming in response to his weak but affectionate and appreciative gaze.

as you’re returning with a cool washcloth and an ice pack you hear the sickening sound of hyunjin’s dry heaving with dramatic whimpers peppered between the saddening noises.

“y/n..!” hyunjin wailed softly, in your direction. you rush to his side at the sofa, quickly grabbing the small trash that was in the room and kneeling beside him once more.

“i’m here jinnie.. i’m here..” you tried to console the poor boy, running your fingers through his sweat-dampened hair.

“don’t wanna puke.. d-don’t wanna puke..” the sick boy whimpered sadly as he continued to retch, one arm guarding his stomach while his free hand shot out to wrap around your lower back and pull you closer. you were such a comfort to him, he needed you as close as possible.

luckily, with a little bit of time and some slow strokes of his hair, the nausea began to subside, leaving the boy laying there and whimpering like a kicked puppy.

“i’m sorry you’re so sick baby.. lets get you to bed, yeah?” you suggest as he weakly sits up with a groan.

“yes please..” hyunjin croaks softly.

“i’ll make you some soup after you rest a little while okay?” you offer. you reach out to him to assist him to stand up, trying to help brace him. he graciously leans into you, following you to his bedroom and to his bed.

slumping into the bed, he just curls into his sheets and looks up at you with those desperate, puppy-dog eyes.

“stay please? too scared without you,” he asked softly, looking up at you where you sat at the edge of the bed.

“of course hyune, i’ll stay..” you answered, slotting yourself into the bed beside the man, sat up with your back against the headboard. he settles his aching head against your warm thighs and hooks his arms around your waist comfortably, as if that was meant to be his spot.

your fingers find their way to his scalp once more, soothingly massaging through the sensitive roots of his hair.

“should’ve listened to you,” hyunjin mused softly, already closing his eyes as he began to submit to his sickened exhaustion. now wasn’t the time to scold him. you just allowed your poor heartthrob to rest.

[supercantaloupe]

the movie reviews of DEH coming out this week have got me thinking a lot again about why i think DEH doesn’t work and in which ways. normally when i do that i like to find another show that has a similar or shared storytelling device which i think does it better to compare. and given that, now DEH has a stage and a screen adaptation to compare to, i think My Fair Lady is actually a good point of comparison to use for the aspect of DEH i've been thinking about this week.

obviously My Fair Lady and Dear Evan Hansen are. Very different shows, lmao. but i have my reasons: both were acclaimed stage shows that later got turned into infamous films (be it in a good or bad light). but moreover, both shows have an unsympathetic protagonist, which is made more stark and obvious through the transition from stage to screen.

there is an important difference in medium between stage and screen and that has to do with objective framing and point of view. basically, in a theater, you have zero absolute control over where any and every audience member is paying attention at any and every given time. you can direct it with blocking, light, sound, etc, but you cannot force an audience member to look at what you want them to look at for every moment. the framing is inherently subjective in this way because the viewer is free to focus on what they want, and make their own judgments based on that.

film is different; film has an objective framing. it is the camera. when you are viewing a film on screen, you have no power to see anything outside the frame that is shown to you; you don't have the power to turn your head and look at something else in the scene. this introduces an implicit bias in the narrative, because the point of view of the camera is what the audience is practically forced to identify and sympathize with.

now, back to DEH and MFL. both shows have a protagonist who is unsympathetic. but a crucial difference between them is that, while DEH's protagonist is also its point of view character, in MFL they are different.

it's sometimes difficult to separate the concept of "protagonist" from "main character" and from "POV character," but in this case i’m going with a narrative definition of protagonist, where they are the character who changes through the narrative. in MFL's case, this is henry higgins, as he spends the entire show being a whiny narcissistic manbaby until the final number when he realizes that he's developed the ability to care about another human being for their own sake for the first time. while eliza does go from speaking and dressing like a common cockney to a genteel lady, she is not changed as much as a character, and therefore i do not count her as the protagonist.

eliza is, of course, the POV character; she is the center around which the story follows; there are more scenes about eliza alone than there are about henry higgins alone, and those scenes about henry higgins alone tend to be about his relationship to eliza.

the framing of which character is the POV on stage is not so important as it is on film, because, again, objective framing on screen. when eliza's POV on stage turns into eliza's POV on screen, we are able to see henry higgins more directly through her eyes. because she is the POV character, we sympathize more readily with her than anyone else, and more clearly see higgins as the asshole he is, because he treats her like dirt to her face, which we as the audience are also experiencing by proxy. film framing makes more distinct the separation between POV character and protagonist, therefore allowing henry higgins' very unsympathetic personality ring out loud and clear.

DEH, on the other hand, has its protagonist and its POV character be the same character, that is, evan. this was a problem in the stage show, yes, but looking back on the past four years of audience interaction and feedback with the show demonstrates that it's still possible to sympathize with him even though he's a jerk. i believe this is because the show tries really hard to frame him as being sympathetic despite his bad behavior, and the framing from his POV is still more subjective since it is in a theater.

but, just as the distinction between sympathetic and unsympathetic character becomes more obvious on film when the POV becomes more objective in MFL, so too does it become more obvious in DEH.

it becomes even more obvious that the story wants us to sympathize with evan. he's the POV, the framing is objective, we're mechanically meant to identify with him. but that introduces some pretty hefty tonal dissonance when we're being asked to sympathize with a character who does some pretty shitty things (in other words, is unsympathetic)

of course, i haven't seen the film of DEH yet since i am, regrettably, a college student at the moment and not a professional film reviewer. but from what i've read in reviews so far and heard about the songs that were cut, it seems like the film also exacerbates the issues of the stage show through script changes. (for example, the cutting of Good For You really hurts the narrative since that's the biggest moment of evan actually facing consequences for his actions in the show.) it doesn't matter how much the movie is begging me to identify with their POV character; if they're a shitty person, i am not going to sympathize with them!

i think that's at the heart of a lot of the criticism of the film i've read so far. the story banks everything on you liking evan as a person and caring about what happens to him -- sympathizing with him -- when he is utterly unlikable. even beyond the bad casting choice.

is it possible to have an unsympathetic protagonist as your POV character in a film? i'm sure it is. but this is not the way to do it. could DEH have succeeded with an unsympathetic protagonist as its POV? probably, if treated differently. i can’t help but wonder what a dark comedy version of DEH would like like, akin to Heathers. although, what i think Heathers does well that DEH does not is both show that its protagonist does in fact do shitty things we are not supposed to support, and she realizes this after facing consequences for her actions and makes a change in her behavior two thirds of the way through the movie. but, ultimately, as it is, it seems like the route the DEH movie went down was not a good one, exacerbating problems from the stage show both through writing and, more simply, through the medium itself.

[cucumbers-and-olives]

Enemies to Lovers Part 3

masterlist  <<part 1 <part 2 part 3 part 4 (coming soon!) >

Summary: You leave the Gillespie house and head to the airport with Charlie after an eventful two weeks. While at the airport, your flight gets delayed and you learn of some interesting news...

Category: enemies to lovers, angst, fluff

Fandom: JATP

Paring: Charlie Gillespie x fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings/Includes: arguing/fighting, small panic attack, cringy songs i wrote

A/N: so... i can never post on time. and i know its been a while since i posted the last chapter. i really hope you guys like this chapter! please reblog and comment and let me know what you think! your support means everything, and keeps me going, so thank you.

Mandatory Thanking of the Betas: thank you to @wrhen for giving me help and feedback with this chapter!

AO3 link here (coming soon!)

Please don’t repost my work without my permission, in part or whole. My work can also be found on AO3 @cucumbersandolives. Thank you!

Ice & Fire, and Enemies to Lovers are both my own songs that I wrote. All song rights go to me.

“Charlie! Y/N! Your cab is here!” Ms.Gillespie called. You checked under the bed one last time before grabbing your suitcase and backpack.

“Thank you so much for your hospitality Ms.Gillespie,” You said, walking up to her. “If you hadn’t invited me I would have spent Christmas alone, and this was so much better.”

“Christmas alone? What a loser,” Charlie remarked as he put his bag into the trunk of the cab. You just rolled your eyes.

“Charlie, be a gentleman and grab her suitcase.” Ms.Gillespie said with a calm yet authoritative tone. He grabbed your suitcase and did as he was told. “I’m sorry about him, but I’m happy you had a good time. Maybe you can join us next year?”

“I would be honored,” You said, taking a last glance around the house you had stayed at for the past two weeks.

“Hey! Let’s go!” Charlie hollered from outside. “We’re gonna miss the flight!”

“Thank you, Ms.Gillespie,” You adjusted your backpack and stepped outside to the man who had become a whiny teenager.

“Finally,” He said as you sat down. “She’s my mother, not yours.”

“I’m sorry about him,” You said to the lady in the driver's seat. “We’re all ready to go now, sorry for the wait.”

She nodded and began to drive. The scenery was nice, but it only took a couple of minutes for you to start yelling at Charlie.

“Fuck this,” You pulled out his earbud. The niceties could stop now that his mother wasn’t here. “I have tried to be nice to you this whole time, but now I can say this: You want to act like a little boy throwing a hissy fit? Fine, be my guest. But at least do it in someone else’s company, I have been nothing but kind to you, you-” You almost cussed again, but you reined yourself in. He was worth your anger but not that much of it.

He just rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Whatever you say, princess.” His words, taken in another context, could have easily been mistaken for something other than the daggers they were.

~

“It’s delayed,” He said, and that simple fact destroyed the rest of the day. “The plane has some issue. They think it’ll be at least two hours, if not more.”

“God, every time I try to like airports, something bad happens,” You said, slumping back into the uncomfortable airport chairs. You knew it wasn’t the airline’s fault, (well it kinda was), but you needed to get back to work. You fiddled with the cord on your headphones before putting them back on.

“Ah- Not so fast,” Charlie said, blocking you from putting them on. He showed you who was calling him. “If I have to talk to the boss man,” He said, referring to Kenny, “Then you do too.”

“See but I don’t,” You said, as you received a different call. “I have a different boss to talk to.”

“I mean, I’m not your boss-” The girl on the other end of the phone said, but Charlie cut her off.

“Are you actually going to talk to Jadah?” He said, about to accept Kenny’s call.

“No, Charlie. Sav’s phone died, so you talk to your boss and I’ll talk to mine.” You walked around for a bit to find a quieter corner of the airport.

“You okay, Y/N?” Jadah asked, finally.

“No, but that's for another time. What’s up?”

“So… Kenny is telling Charlie about the song showcase, but there’s one thing that he’ll leave out.” She said, leaving you on a cliffhanger.

“That is?” You said, prompting her.

“I- I may have slipped him your demos?” Jadah said slowly, and at that moment, all sense of keeping up public appearances went out the window.

“Jadah! Those were not yours to share! In any capacity!” You took a deep breath and asked your first question. “Where did you get them? I thought that the sound guy and I were the only ones with copies?” “I may have bribed him for a copy,” She said sheepishly. Even though you couldn’t see her, you knew she was nervous.

“Jadah, I have one other question.” You paused, trying to figure out how to ask nicely. “Which songs did you give him? Cause if you gave him Enemies-”

“I gave him Ice & Fire, Enemies to Lovers, and I can’t remember the third one. Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not.” You were, a little bit. “Can you put Savannah on the phone though?” She gave a quick yes, and you could hear the phone being passed between hands.

“Y/N?” Savannah said.

“Did you know? A-about the demos,” You clarified.

“I knew you recorded them, and Jadah had me listen to them. You are amazing!”

“Thank you,” You said. “Uh, E.T.L. isn’t finished yet, but I had the time in the studio so I recorded it.” “Y/N, if you want to be a songwriter, you would be amazing!” She said, but you could tell what she meant.

“I won’t leave you in the middle of a show, Sav.” You were honest with your words. “I know.” She paused. You both knew what amazing opportunities would open up if you did. “Hold on one second, I’m going to go on mute really quick, okay?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

You could see Charlie coming towards you. His walk had a purpose, but one that was unknown to you.

“Hello, Mr.Ortega! How can I help?” You put your hand out to Charlie, signaling to him that if he talked he would be dead as Kenny spoke.

“I’m not sure if the girls have told you, but we’d love to have you perform your songs at the showcase.” He said, and you chose your words wisely, so that way Charlie wouldn’t know.

“I’d love to! What time, and which ones would you like to hear?” You asked, as you pulled out a pen and rolled up your sleeves.

“Ice & Fire, Enemies to Lovers or uh, E.T.L., I believe that was how Jadah referred to it?” He said, and you could tell he wasn’t sure what to call it.

“Yeah, I can do that, any others?” You said, scribbling down quick abbreviations of the titles.

“Oh there was one more, How to Be a Heartbreaker, I loved that one.” He said, pausing. “And I believe that Jadah mentioned that you had a few others? If you want to pick one or two, that would be great!”

“Alright! I know it’s weird to ask this, but no one has given me any details, so what time is the showcase, and where is it?” You asked, excited for the opportunity to perform.

“4:30 this afternoon, in dance studio A.” You wrote down the time quickly.

“Sir?”

“Yes?”

“I’ll be landing from my flight only an hour before that.”

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“You can do it.”

You scoffed a bit as the call ended. “Fuck.” You cussed under your breath.

“Wow, you talked to Kenny, and that's your response to a conversation with him? Anyways, I’m going to grab a coffee, want one?” He offered.

“Uh, I’ll just take a muffin, if they have one.” As you walked away, your brain was moving a mile a minute as you tried to figure out how everything would work.

“C’mon Y/L/N, if there’s one thing you can figure out, it’s making this work. You can do this.”

~

“Owen!” You said, running over to him.

“Hi!” He said giving you a hug, and then he looked at you. “Sav told me, you look like a mess.”

“Yeah, I know. Look, can you fix my necklace?” You said pointing to the jumbled mess it had gotten into around your neck.

“Yeah, ‘course, turn around,'' He said, and you did so. He got surprisingly close as you moved your hair away from your neck, and as he fiddled with it, you could see Charlie out of the corner of your eye. He had a look that you couldn’t put your finger on, but it almost seemed like… jealousy?

“All done!” He said, patting you on the back.

“Thank you,” You said, adjusting your sweatshirt a bit.

“You got this,” He said, grabbing your hand. “Okay?”

“Okay-” You said, but Kenny’s voice rose above everyone else's.

“Hello everyone! If you could turn your attention to the mirror, that would be great!” Everyone’s eyes turned to him, standing on a chair with a mic in hand. “Here's how this is going to work. I’d like our lovely leads to come to the mirror. Anyone else who isn’t singing can stand off of the dance floor over there,” He pointed to an area.

“If you are singing, you can follow me,” Paul said, raising his hand.

“Okay, go!” Kenny said, and as you followed Paul, you could hear him as a question. “Where is Charlie? Jeremy, check that bathroom, and Owen, look in the break room.”

~

“That was amazing Anna! Okay, who is next?” Kenny said, motioning to the person in front of you to come out. “Ah, Kevin, what do you have for us?”

Kevin began to talk, but it was hard to hear anything over your beating heart. You tried to take deep breaths, but it just got louder, and your worries began to overwhelm you. You took a step back in the line, making your way to the back. That would give you some time to overcome your worries before you went out there.

The line seemed to move a warp speed, because before you knew it, Kenny was calling your name.

“Y/N? Are you back there?” He asked, and you could hear everyone start to whisper when you didn’t respond.

“Yeah, gimme one second!” You said, fixing your shirt a bit. You got this. You can do it.

As you stepped out onto the stage Kenny’s face lit up. “There you are! How was the flight?” His eyes were kind, but as you looked into the audience, there were many shook faces.

“It was rough, but I’m happy to be here,” You said, sitting down in the chair in the middle of the stage. You kept taking deep breaths, trying, desperately to calm your nerves.

“I know you have a couple, so whenever you are ready, just say the song's name, and what characters you wrote it for,” Kenny explained. You looked around to see who was there. There was the choreo team, some Netflix executives, the lead cast, and a couple of other people who you didn’t recognize.

“This is lce & Fire, and I pictured Alex and Willie singing it.”

“Oh the desire

Like Ice & Fire

Shout it out loud

They won’t bring us down

Not a disgrace

We’ve made mistakes

Our love is strong

So sing along

I’ve been looking for you for so long

(I couldn’t find you)

Now that I’ve met you I’ve

Done something wrong

Oh, Ohhhh, Oh

Oh the desire

Like Ice & Fire

Shout it out loud

They can’t pull us down

Runnin’ from our past

Met in a crash

Through thick and thin

We can win

I’ve been looking for you for so long

(I couldn’t find you)

Now that I’ve met you I’ve

Done something wrong

Oh, Ohhhh, Oh

The forces pullin’ us together

Can’t stop, won’t stop

Oh hold on a little longer now

We’re Ice & Fire

(Fire)

Two parts of one

(One)

Can’t you see the passion in my eyes

Of Ice & Fire.”

As you finished, the final chord rang out from your guitar. The room was silent until Kenny spoke.

“That was wonderful! Booboo, Owen, what do you all think?” He said, turning to the actors for their opinion.

Booboo nodded to Owen. “Well, I think that your song embodies the characters really well. Uh, I definitely would love to sing it in the show, and I, uh personally can see our characters singing it. You wanna go?”

“Yeah, I agree with Owen on so many levels. I’d love to sing Ice & Fire, if that's okay with you Kenny,” Booboo turned to Kenny and the smile that was on his face was slowly mirrored on yours.

“Let’s do it! You wanna sing any others?” The room held its breath waiting for a response. And so did you.

Your first song had passed the test. Made it through. Your knee started bouncing again and you looked up to Savannah.

You got this. She mouthed.

You cleared your throat and moved the capo on your guitar. “Yeah, uh, this one is called Enemies to Lovers, and I didn’t write this one about any specific characters so it can be changed to fit any of them.”

You started singing and getting into the song. A door creaked open and you looked up, curious, and you continued to sing and play.

It was Charlie. He looked like a mess, like he had just gone to hell and back. Moving among the cast to find his seat, he didn’t notice you singing. Until you started the chorus.

It’s like we’re written in the stars,

Enemies to Lovers

Swinging past the bars,

Baby, we’ll discover-

You, me, we’re not so different,

You, me, we always win it,

You and me, we’re better than we seem,

Enemies

He watched you as you sang, and you, in turn, watched him. As you went into the chorus for a second time, you saw something change in his face. A realization or something, and you turned back to face Kenny as you finished the song.

We are written in the stars,

That's how we became

Well, what we are

Bicker hard and far,

Maybe we’ll discover-

You, me, we are different,

You, me, we can’t beat it,

You and me, we’re worse off than we seemed

You strummed your guitar, leaving the song and the story unfinished.

“That was amazing, unfortunately, I don’t think we have space for it in our show.” He smiled. “Someone will contact you about using Ice & Fire.”

The panel along with the rest of the room, packed up their things and started to leave until just you and the main cast remained. You started to walk out of the room when someone called out.

“Y/N! Wait!”

It was Charlie.

You looked at him, “Yes?”

“What the fuck was that song? Who’d you write it about?” He asked, like a love struck boy.

“I wrote it about you, duh!” You watched his face turn into one of- slight happiness? You laughed and started to walk away. Of course, he would think it’s about him, but why would it be? “Fuck you, Charlie. I didn’t think you were that self-centered!”

“I’m not!”He countered, and you stopped walking to look at him.

“Really? Cause only a self-centered person would ask me that… Or, do you have a crush on me? Aww, that’s so sweet!” You mocked. “See you around, lover boy.”

~

I really hope you liked that chapter! Let me know what you thought!

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Charlie: @thesweetestsinner

[fantasywritings]

Good Boy- Yoo Taeyang smut

warnings: very slight femdom

genre: smut: oral, male receiving, tease and denial, very soft femdom

summary: reader has a fantasy about using a vibrator on her partner, Taeyang; who hasn’t experimented with sex toys before.

The sound of water running down Taeyangs body could be heard coming from the shower. You sat on your side of the bed and waited for him to come back so you can tell him what’s on your mind lately.

“I waited for you” you said playfully as he stepped in your room with a towel covering his torso only, smiling from your previous comment.

He made his way to the drawers and picked underwear and a T shirt.

Despite him being a shy guy, he felt like he had nothing to hide from you, so he usually changed in front of you, today wasn’t an exception either.

“Hey Taeyang?”

“Mhm?” He turned his head while putting on his underwear, after he’s done dressing up he sat near you, pulling you in his embrace, head leaning on his shoulder and hand resting on his chest.

“Have you ever tried toys?” You asked out of the blue, you could see him smiling down at you, eyes in confusion, cheeks becoming slightly flushed.

“Toys? What toys?”

“You know... adult toys” you said while avoiding his gaze, you felt a bit embarrassed for bringing this up so suddenly.

“Why are you suddenly” he giggled in embarrassment, you felt bad for putting him on the spot

“Sorry I was curious that’s all”

“it’s fine, I’ll tell you everything you want to know, no, I haven’t tried it” he said, his checks getting redder.

“I’m really into them so I was asking” you said, still avoiding his gaze

“you are? tell me more” he said, fascinated, smiling down at you

“nothing too kinky, I just like using vibrators, i had to keep myself entertained when you’re busy on schedules or on the other side of the world” you said as you took in a breath “.. and I was wondering if I could use it on you one day” you finally looked at him, to see wether it was a look of approval or not.

“On me?” He said, still smiling down on you, shoving a hair strand behind your ear.

“Yes like, I was wondering if I could give you a handjob and try my vibrator on your cock” you said “we don’t have to” you added. Taeyang sat silent with a slight pout; his usual thinking face. you could tell he was thinking about this.

“okay, I want to try” he said with a soft smile “now? really?” you asked and he nodded as he leaned back on the sofa; hand caressing your cheek, motioning you to kiss him, he let you lead the kiss, your hand still resting on his chest.

“let me get the toys yeah?” you broke the kiss, he nodded as you got up to the closet, taking out a box and placing it on the bed as you go through the toys inside, taking out a wand vibrator, Taeyangs eyes widened a bit while observing your actions from across the room, hands resting on his stomach, waiting for you to control him like a good boy.

You picked the bottle of lube from the drawer next to him and hopped on the bed, placing the items right beside you.

“alright, where did we stop?” you asked while smiling, Taeyang didn’t waste any time and leaned back in to kiss you. You straddled his thigh, your legs from each side of his thigh, your hand making it’s way from playing with his soft hair to roam his body, lifting his shirt off and throwing it on the floor, allowing you to touch his bare skin. Deepening the kiss, your fingers travel from his trimmed chest hair down to his happy trail, your hand rested above his waistband as your lips left his, leaving soft faint kisses on his neck, making him want more. You noticed his member was semi hard, as the outline of his member changed from a shy flaccid cock outline to a growing erection outline.

Your fingers played with his waistband as you gave him a devilish look.

“Stop teasing or I won’t last very long” he said in a deep, impatient voice

“you’ll last for as long as I tell you to, right?” you shot an innocent look at him, for some reason it made him even more turned on than before.

“Anything for you baby” he said in a deep voice.

Your lips locked with his once again, your tongue asking for entry to his mouth, hungrily but gently sucking on his bottom lip. As your hand went down to touch his growing member over his briefs, his kisses became wetter.

Your hand slowly jerked off his member through the thin fabric.

You wanted to see his growing erection, not just the outline of it, you wanted to see his plump head peeking out and the pre cum leaking out of his tip.

you slowly slid down his underwear, his length sprung up as you took them off.

“Lay back baby” you motioned as Taeyang sat back comfortably on your bed, you kneeled between his legs and spread them a bit more.

Your hand held his cock up very gently from his base as you pressed a butterfly kiss to his tip, earning a shy moan from him.

Moving from circling his tip with your tongue to licking his shaft slowly. After he was completely erect, you faced his now plump and big head, placing another kiss as you get up on your knees to take the bottle of lube.

Squeezing the product in your hand and on his dick, being careful to not mess the bed sheets.

Your thumb drew circles on his tip, your hand embraced his shaft, going up and down, feeling the veiny texture of his member. Your thumb slowly massaging the area between his balls and base.

You lifted yourself up again to bring the toy, making sure it’s lubed enough so the friction would be pleasant.

“alright, if at any time you want me to stop, go slower or faster, just tell me okay? I want to please you the best i can” you said and he nodded, giving you a sign to start this new experience.

Your hand embraced his cock from its base, keep it still as you placed the vibrator on spot that connects his head and shaft, going up and down.

“How is it?” You asked while pressing the vibrator to the same spot, earning a moan back as an answer, causing you to smile, that’s exactly the feedback that you wanted.

You then lowered down the vibrator wand to gently press on his swollen balls, as your other hand jerked his shaft and drew circles on his base every now and then.

At first it felt like Taeyang was stopping himself from being vocal, since he was unfamiliar with the feeling, but after getting over the initial shock, he wasn’t shy anymore and gave you whiny moans as feedback.

You then quickened the pace of your strokes, his dick slightly moving in your hand, his sounds hinting that he was close.

You decide to play with him a bit, just before he thought you’d jerk him off to finish, you let your hand loose, lowered the level of the vibrator on his balls.

His hands jumped almost immediately to his cock, but you pushed them away before he could grip on his aching cock.

“...why” he whined in frustration as his body squirmed.

It felt bad to tease him like that, after being such a good boy and let you experiment with him, but at the same time, you couldn’t resist it, and you knew it would make his orgasm even more intense.

“sssh.. ssh” you whispered gently as you put the vibrator on his shaft, on a higher level, earning a moan from him. Then you lowered the vibrator back to its previous position on his balls. Your other hand made its way to wrap around his cock, sensually massaging his tip, making eye contact with him as you spit on it, causing his body to squirm a little more. using your thumb to spread the liquid on his tip and pressing faint kisses on his shaft. Once again, you gripped his aching cock and jerked it fast, faster than before.

As he was getting out of breath you let your hand loose once again. Earning another whine from this good boy. This time his hips automatically raised up to thrust the air, needing something to finish him off but being the good boy he is he didn’t dare to touch himself, in fact, he liked that you have power on him, he liked to feel dominated by you.

As his head fell back once again, tears started forming at the corners of his eyes. At first you were slightly worried, but knowing your partner, if he wanted to stop he wouldn’t hesitate to tell you. Denying him two times is enough for this experience, after all, you don’t want to overwhelm him or make him cry in despair.

You ditched the vibrator, your hands going back to his cock making him squirm as you continue at a slower pace, not wanting to make him painfully sensitive.

After a few light strokes you quickened you pace, you wanted him to experience the best orgasm of his life, your hands worked faster and better than before on his shaft, while you softly pressed kisses to his balls, earning a train of moans.

His thighs were trembling

“please...please” he mumbled under his breath, his shaky voice have you goosebumps.

“You earned it” you reassured him, but he was too fucked out to listen to your words.

His dick twitched in your hand, at this point he stopped caring about the sounds he was making, as you continue to jerk him off on high speed, his hips jerk up as he let a loud grunt, a big load of white thick liquid splashed on your hands, the amount of liquid that spilled out of his pretty tip really seemed as if you emptied out his balls.

You wrapped your lips around his member, causing him to intensely squirm. You hungrily sucked the liquids off of his beautiful cock until his member was completely soft again.

You stepped out of bed, bringing tissues so you can get him cleaned up and any other possible mess.

“Wow.. I came a lot” he said shyly, cheeks flushed from the intense orgasm he just experienced.

“Does that mean you liked it?” you asked naively

“Yes” he chuckled and gave you a sweet eye smile. Almost out of energy, he pulled your body close to him, pulling you in his embrace, resting your bodies together

“You’re amazing” he said in adoration

“You’re amazing for letting me live my fantasies” you kissed the top of his head

“I love you” you murmured into the kiss

“I love you too” he said in a smile that made your heart melt.

[moonttaeil]

a small love letter to all of my followers:

hey this is nikki, your local chaotic blog which sometimes uploads long ass fics that fuck your head up and make you cry like there’s no tomorrow imagining scenarios that might light up something inside of you. I wanted to start off this saying how much I appreciate you all.

I started posting on tumblr around may this year, with my previous blog @/taeils (I had to switch blogs since tumblr bullied me to no end) and I had really great feedback even thought my fics didn’t show up in the tags and people didn’t really know about their existence. Then in august I decided to have a fresh start and open moonttaeils (always supporting my short king yes!) and wow, the visibility and appreciation this blog has gotten in barely five months is insane, I think I quadrupled my following count (which I don’t really mind nor take in consideration? I’ve always said the following count doesn’t really matter if there’s no interaction at the end of the day lol) but yeah, that happened and I’m actually very very overwhelmed by it.

I’ve got known around because of the “frathouse” series, which I LOVE dearly and will always hold close to my heart, but I can’t lie to you guys, I’ve felt as if I’ve been cataloged as that one blog that uploads the frathouse fics, which I don’t really mind to be complete honest, I’ve put on myself a label and people know me because of that, that’s cool I guess? But it is also true that it also pressured me to write something I wasn’t really in the mood to write for. The frathouse series for its more than just a college au and a bunch of fraternity brothers who party and hook up with y/n, I’ve always tried to put out there a message with my writings, a hidden treasure that only those who need to find it will find it, you know? Is that too philosophical? I don’t know, I just know that every story has also a meaning for me since I’ve written them all after an occurrence of my own life (you guys already know this). But returning to the point, i came to a crossroad on which I didn’t really feel like writing more for the frathouse because I really had no message to say, I had no lesson to teach, but on the other and I knew that people were expecting those stories, and people’s expectations were (and still are) very high because of what they’ve read before. I don’t really mind this, I repeat, but the pressure was still there.

That’s why I decided to start “the society”, yet another series but this time focused on the DREAM unit. Now let me tell you, the plot for that series? (And I don’t want to sound condescending) CHEFS KISS. Amazing. I don’t even know how my brain came up with that idea, but again: hard af to write and, damn it, the first episode was 30k long! Imagine what it will be like since there are like 4 more to go. A madness to write. But I still want to write it. And again, after uploading the first part it became so hard to keep writing because of the plot itself and because I felt pressured to keep updating something that I had yet still to write and ugh. Anxiety my dudes, it kicked in. I am still apologizing for not uploading it completely :(

Sooo yeah, that was a wild ride. And since I felt incompetent to keep writing “the society” and I also didn’t feel like writing another chapter for “the frathouse” I told myself: Nikki, you ought to write something! Do it with an one shot! A great idea right? And it was great until my mental health decided to drop to the ground, making the last few weeks really really hard to go through. I repeat (and I know I shouldn’t be saying this) that I am sorry. I feel like I’ve been giving you nothing but empty promises on fics and, at the end, that’s why people follow me on here. I don’t wanna sound whiny, and I don’t want people to feel sorry for me, that’s the last thing I want, but that’s the truth of my current situation. Even though I’ve already written 20k of my latest fic “DYNASTY”, it’s still not close to the end, and I’ve been writing slowly the last days like, maybe 200 hundred words a day, and besides that I’ve been focusing on myself mostly. Trying my best to go back to when I had passion and felt motivation on my whole body and brain to write. Because you guys are the ones that have achieved to make me stay here, and by your words of appreciation, and I can’t stress this enough, you guys have made me so happy I’ve even cried sometimes.

For a fic writer is hard, because not everyone will like your works, tumblr won’t always show your fics on the tags, maybe people will only like them and not reblog, or maybe you won’t get feedback sometimes, and that’s discouraging af. I’ve been there my dudes, it is horrible because you feel like all of your hours invested in that work have been thrown out of the window for nothing. But I had the great luck to get feedback from you guys and I can promise you my heart goes crazy when that happens, so I’m endlessly thankful for that, really.

I am still working hard on getting back on feet and finally post something good. I will not stop until I achieve it and let’s hope that will happen soon, but until then I can only say thank you for staying. Thank you to my followers, thank you to my mutuals (who have always been there and have always sent me encouraging messages than have always lifted my spirit up) and thank you for not leaving me behind on this 2020 !!

I love you guys !!

[dexiao]

Milkshake (m) | Part 2 of 2

Gif originally posted by @doyonqs​

Synopsis: Y/N is an art major that has to write an essay with her ultimate crush.

Pairing: Kim Doyoung x female reader

Words: 2k

Genre: college!au (literally doesn’t matter), smut

Warnings: softdom!Doyoung, sub!reader, oral (male receiving), safe sex

A/N: This was really fun to write, I hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know if you find any mistakes, any form of feedback is welcome :)

Part 1 is here.

This is a work of fiction. It does not portray the real personality of the member.

“Why don’t you look at me now?” Doyoung asked, barely audibly. I obeyed, preparing to ask why. “You look at me so much at the university, why are you so shy now?”

I felt the blood rushing to my face at his words, exhaling and looking away involuntarily.

“Don’t be like that, baby.  Okay?” He continued, bringing his hand to cup my face softly, moving my head to make me look at him again.

I nodded and remained in silence, speechless and suddenly self-conscious about how much my skirt must have gone up my thighs. Doyoung kept his eyes on my face, seeming to scrutinize every feature of it. Slowly, he leaned closer, staring at my lips.

“Keep your eyes open.” He demanded, before bending and pressing a chaste kiss on my mouth. I felt as he could hear my heart, since It beat so strong and fast. My whole body burned from nervousness of being in that situation.

Doyoung moved away a tiny bit, just to stick out his tongue and lick my hips. I panted in response and opened my mouth only enough so his tongue slipped in. The kiss tasted bitter and cold due to his nutty milkshake in contrast to mine.

I gently pressed my tongue against his, feeling my body start to relax. However, he broke the kiss and moved his lips down my jaw in direction to my ear, using his free hand to move away the strands of hair in his way. He released a low and whiny breath next to my ear, whispering right after.

“You can close your eyes now, if you want to.” Then his mouth turned onto my skin again, licking a stripe on my neck before giving open mouthed wet kisses. One of my hands reached for his hair, while Doyoung moved his from my waist to my thigh, stopping after the hem of the skirt.

He caressed the skin of my leg with his palm before shifting it to my inner thigh and urging for me to spread legs apart. Doyoung positioned himself in the middle of my legs and his hand traveled from my knee to my waist, squeezing the flesh with his long fingers. His other hand remained on my head, helping him control the intensity of the kisses he left on my hot skin. I sighed and forced my body upon his in pleasure.

“Are you enjoying this, Y/N?” He asked, kneeling in front of me and letting go of my face, putting both his hands on the outer sides of my knees, head still close to mine. His kisses started going down to my collarbones, and I arched my back in a heavy breath, but his lips moved away from my skin again. “You look so puritan all the time, but you’re acting so dirty and bratty… Won’t you answer my question?”

As he spoke, his nose traced its way over the buttons of my shirt, coming close to the waistband of the skirt. Simultaneously, hands went up my legs under the skirt, grabbing tighter and my hip. I felt trapped under his touch. Doyoung was much more dominant than I imagined, but being controlled like this made want him even more.

“Are you enjoying, Y/N?” He repeated, his challenging eyes gazing straight into mine.

“Yes. Yes, I am” I answered, surprising myself with the breathiness of my voice.

Doyoung smiled mischievously and pressed his face on my abdomen and inhaled as if he wanted to breathe in all the scent on me, until there was none left. I curved my back to the front, using my hands to push even more his head upon my skin. He hummed and the vibration feeling that passed through his voice left me panting.

He removed his hands from my hip and pulled my shirt from inside the skirt, unbuttoning it from top to bottom. At each button Doyoung opened, he left a kiss on the exposed skin. After the last one, he stuck his tongue out and licked all the way up to my breasts, dragging the shirt down my arms and throwing it onto the floor.

Then he pressed his face between my breasts as before, following with kisses by the parts of the skin the bra failed at covering. His hands moved to the clasp of the bra, but didn’t open it.

“Can I see you?” Doyoung asked, looking at my face for permission. I nodded and he unclasped the piece of cloth, sliding it out and throwing it along to the shirt. He licked is lips and brushed his hands at my boobs, cupping them before leaving a simple kiss on each nipple. “You are so beautiful, Y/N.” He stated before kissing the right nipple again, with devoting licks and gentle sucks while massaging the left boob with his hand. I felt him smile and chuckle against me as I moaned from his touch. Afterwards, he switched to the other nipple but his hand traveled to his pants now tight due to the bulge trapped inside of it.

Past a few moments, Doyoung demanded me to lay down, setting a pile of pillows to keep my head higher than the rest of my body.

Still in the middle of my legs, Doyoung lifted my skirt up to my waist, exposing my underwear, which he kept looking at while unbuttoning his own shirt and unbuckling his belt. He threw both behind himself and opened his pants, but keeping them on.

His collarbones stood out as droplets of sweat rose from his neck. His torso was slim and slightly muscular, pale skin. His eyes expressed nothing but desire, hunger, as he examined my whole body. His now messy hair becoming sweaty too.

Doyoung leaned in again, putting his arms by each side of my head and pressing his pelvis on mine in shuttle movements. Automatically, my hands reached his shoulders and legs circled his small waist, bringing our bodies the closest as possible.

He moaned for the first time at my action, causing me to moan as well from that delicious sound. Doyoung kept this for a few more time, before getting on his knees again and travelling his hands through my torso until my underwear. Then he brought his face closer to my venter and pulled the soaked fabric to the side, releasing a hot breath against my cunt.

“God, you are drenched, Y/N.” He stated before running a finger through the wet folds. His thumb went to my clit, massaging it in circular motions. I moaned and felt my body melting.

Doyoung stopped his actions to open his pants drag them down enough to release his hard and glistening cock. He started removing my panties, so I lifted my legs to help it come out. As I put my legs down again, Doyoung held the piece of cloth in his left, rubbing it on his cock and thrusting his hip into his hand, eyes closed and mouth open, breathing heavily. I panted at the sigh and pressed my legs together until his eyes opened again, hungrier than before.

He dropped the panties onto the bed and used his hand to position his cock on my pussy, sliding it on my clit and then back to the entrance, repeatedly, covering himself on my wetness.

His cock looked so beautiful, hard and veiny, all wet because of me. I couldn’t help but reach my right hand to touch it, but pausing before actually touching.

“Can I touch you?” I asked. After Doyoung nodded, I wrapped my fingers around his shaft, pressing it lightly and moving my head up and down. Doyoung watched my movements and sighed. Possessed by the feeling of having control over him for once, I kneeled before getting on all fours in front of him, but never stopping jerking him off.

In a boost of boldness, I went forward and pressed my lips against the tip of Doyoung’s pretty and wet cock before putting it inside my mouth. Doyoung moaned loudly and slapped my ass, making me groan as I started bobbing my head on him. I tried my best to engulf all of his dick, choking a little as my mouth reached its base.

I moved away slowly to recover my breath, letting a stripe of saliva connect my tongue to his cock. Doyoung tore it with a finger, rubbing it on my lips and chin before inserting the same finger into my mouth. I sucked at it as it was his cock, making him moan before pulling it out and sucking it himself.

His other hand moved to my chin, in a signal for me to get up. He squeezed my ass with both hands and licked my lips before going for a needy kiss.

Doyoung laid me on my back again, kissing my neck and teasing my clit with his dick.

“You have such a pretty neck, Y/N.” He spoke in the middle of kisses and little bites. “Do you mind if I choke you?”

“No.” I nodded, feeling Doyoung distance himself to watch my face. He used his right and to choke me as the left switched between pumping himself and massaging my clit. My mouth stayed open, trying to moan but incapable to do so. The blood rushed to my face as Doyoung restrained my breath. My neck pulsated under his hand. He moaned and bit his lips while choking me, removing his hand as I lightly tapped his arm in discomfort.

Doyoung took off his pants and searched for something in his wallet, which I found out to be a condom. After covering himself, he pushed my legs up in direction to my chest and trusted in. I let out a load moan as his cock filled me up. Since it was the first time he stretched me out and it was already intense, my eyes involuntarily filled with tears.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry.” He spoke in concern, caressing my face with one hand. “I should have fingered you first, shouldn’t I? But you feel so good tight like this around my cock.”

It was noticeable how Doyoung struggled to keep himself from moving, waiting for me to fell alright. He closed his eyes, jaw clenched as he tried to normalize his breath while I adjusted to his size.

“It’s ok, you can move.” I said softly.

He immediately started trusting, removing all but the tip of his cock and then burying it again inside my cunt. Both of us moaned as Doyoung pounded into me.

My legs rested on his shoulders and my hands grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him for a hungry kiss.

After breaking the kiss, Doyoung asked.

“Do I make you feel good, Y/N? Is this what you imagined?” He said, pressing his face to my neck and leaving a few kisses, before facing me to watch me answer.

“I feel so good, Doyoung.” I moaned, pushing my hips on his.

Doyoung smiled devilishly and got up, kneeling in front of me. He held my hips up, so my only support were his hands and the bed behind my shoulders. He helped the movements with his arms, making me burn from his deeper trusts.

“I can tell since you take my cock so, so well.” He pressed a kiss on my left leg and trusted a few more times before dropping my hips onto the bed again.

His trusts became sloppier as the knot on my stomach built up, and I could sense that he was near his high as well. Doyoung brought one of my legs down and placed one hand on my clit, rubbing it fast.

“Will you cum around my cock, baby?”

“Yes, Doyoung. I’m gonna cum, fuck.” I answered as my climax reached me, all my muscles tensed and I felt myself clench around Doyoung.

“Look at me while you cum, I want to see your face. Fuck.” He demanded, without stopping his trusts. I faced Doyoung’s lustful eyes and watched as he came as well.

After normalizing our breaths, Doyoung slipped out and got rid of the condom, grabbing a towel to clean us up. He left kisses from my belly to my lips, laying by my side and holding my naked body into his arms.

He kissed my forehead and whispered, before us both fell asleep.

“I hope we can repeat it. Not only the sex, but this as well.”

“Of course we can.”

[writingformadderton]

Happy Birthday, Baby

Ship: Madderton

Word Count: 5507

Summary: Taron and Rich take a two week vacation for Richard’s birthday to get away from the craziness of their regular lives. A private island all to themselves is the paradise they needed. Here’s a peak at how they spend their vacation, with a little surprise awaiting at the end.

Additional Tags: SMUT! Please enjoy this treat and please give feedback! We’d love to hear what you think! Some fluff to hold you over :)

Part 2 of Happy Birthday, Bub

*******************************************************************************************

Rich wakes up yawning and stretches his sleepy body. He looks out of the window and a big smile wanders over his face. Taron gave him one present for his birthday this year and it was everything he could have wished for. Two weeks on a tiny island, just the two of them. Every morning, the manager came to their spot on the island with his boat and dropped off some boxes containing food, drinks, and fresh towels. Then, he left right after to continue on with his day. It was paradise.

This trip gave the couple two weeks of complete privacy and alone time in a lovely house. It included a private beach that lead to a breathtaking view of the crystal-clear ocean, a pool in the back along with a hot tub, and a mini bar inside. It was everything the pair dreamed it would be. They arrived two days ago and today is Richard’s birthday.

Getting out of bed, he rubs his face and wanders into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wake himself up a bit. When finished, he steps outside and wraps his arms around Taron, who’s sitting on the balcony already. “Morning.” he whispers and plants a soft kiss on his temple.

Taron gets up and hugs him tightly. “Happy birthday, baby.” he says and kisses him lovingly. “I have some things in mind for today.” he smiles up to him and plays with his curls.

“Do ya?” he asks curiously.

“Yeah, but first enjoy your breakfast.” Taron says happily and goes inside quickly, coming back with his backpack. He sits opposite of Rich and they start eating. “I thought we could take a boat and drive to the main island. Maybe stroll around the native town and eat some ice cream. We’d be back in the evening and then you’ll see what we do.”

“Okay, sounds fine to me.” he says and looks at T, who has a cheeky grin on his face. What was he up to now?

“Just one thing. You’ll have to wear this when we’re in town.” he gets out a small box from his backpack and smirks at him. “Look familiar?”

“Mm, your birthday.” Richard smirks and thinks back at the dinner they had in the restaurant. Taron’s face when he kept teasing him underneath the table and turned up the power of the plug fixed on his cock. How he squirmed on his seat and bit his lip trying not to moan. How hard Taron came in the bathroom of the restaurant after turning it up to its highest setting. That was a night to remember.

“Since today is your birthday, it’s your turn.” he says smirking and hands the box to him.

“I’ve had to do worse.” Rich chuckles and grins at his boyfriend.

“Wanna try it on now so you’ll see how it feels?” Taron asks and Rich nods. They were parted often and T always had it with him. When they were together, they didn’t need that toy. So Richard only had it in him before, but never fixed on his cock.

Richard pulls down his boxers and puts it on. He looks back at Taron and grins. “I think that should work.”

“Okay. I’ll give you a little taste before we go.” Taron says and gets out his phone, opening the connected app. He moves his finger over the screen, making the device come alive and buzz a bit.

Rich tenses slightly, surprised at the new feeling, and smirks at T. “I can see why you loved it so much.”

“Oh you will today.” Taron says grinning and turns it up more.

Richard leans back in the seat and his hands grab the arms of the chair. He moans softly and feels his body getting familiar with the vibration against his cock quickly. When Taron increases it once more, Richard lets out a moan and his head falls back a bit. But T doesn’t stop and keeps turning it up until Richard sinks into the chair and moans towards the roof of the balcony. His mouth hangs open wide and releases loud deep moans while his hips move in a steady rhythm.

Taron turns it off suddenly and giggles at Richard’s frustrated groan. “I said you could have a taste.” He teases.

Rich sits up straight again and grabs his water. “I see you’re gonna drive me crazy all day.” he takes a gulp.

“Mm.” T grins.

***********************

Later on, they are walking through a native town on the main island, holding hands. Both of them enjoy the sun and the lack of tourists on this island. It’s exactly what they want when they’re on vacation. Not too many people and peace.

But Taron was eager. He wanted to see Rich squirm. When Rich looks away from him for a moment, T gets his phone out. Time to have some fun. “Baby?” he says and waits until Rich turns towards him to turn on the device.

“Hm?” Rich questions, but then his eyes widen and he stumbles forward a bit. “Holy shit, T.” he breathes out. Richard puts on his sunglasses and steps closer to T. He wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s neck when the feeling intensifies and tries to steady himself that way. His body was feeling so good, but they were in public so he could only take it.

Taron wraps his arm around his waist and smirks at him. “Feels good?” he asks and Rich just nods. He turns it up more and watches him curiously.

Richard bites his lower lip and tries to hold back a moan. He smiles a bit trying to cover it up. “This really is even better standing.” he says and lets out a breathy moan when Taron plays with the device again. He’s lucky he picked a long shirt today that covers up his lap.

T leans against the fence towards the ocean and just grins when Rich sinks against him moaning. “Let’s make this a bit more fun.” he says and turns it up a lot more.

Richard’s hands grab the fence firmly and he lets out a strangled moan. His hips buck forward involuntarily and he feels Taron’s arm around his waist.

“Don’t move. You don’t wanna make them suspect anything right?” he murmurs into his ear. Taron sees how much trouble Rich has keeping still and decides to push him a bit further.

As soon as he does, Richard sinks his head down and whimpers. His eyes are pressed close and his lips slightly parted letting out tiny moans. “Fuck, T.” he moans softly and seesaws on his toes a bit. With the next movement of Taron’s finger on the screen, Rich sinks his head down on his shoulder. He groans into it, trying to keep the sound low, and has trouble keeping still. He wasn’t going to make it like this.

“Let’s continue walking.” T says teasingly and turns it off. Rich lifts his head panting a bit and shoots him a glare.

***********************

A bit later, Rich gets them ice cream from a small stand and T can’t stop himself from turning on the device. Rich tenses and bites his lip hard as he takes the ice cream and turns around to Taron. He walks over to him and hands him his ice cream. “Tease.” he just says and starts eating his ice cream in peace again when the vibration stops.

Taron leads him into the little park near the ice cream stand and they sit down on a bench. T looks around and sees that no one’s in sight. He could have his fun and make Rich beg to cum without interruptions.

Richard licks over his ice cream and stops in his movement when he feels the plug buzzing against his cock. “I’m trying to eat, bub.” he says and smirks at him shortly. But T doesn’t stop and Rich moans softly when he catches some of the ice cream with his tongue.

“I know the ice cream is good but that-.” Taron teases and turns it up more.

“Dork.” Rich just breathes out and stops eating, feeling his body tingle all over from the vibrating toy in his pants. He slides forward on the bench and leans back relaxed. Handing his ice cream to Taron, he moans at the sensation on his sensitive cock.

“What are you gonna do if somebody decides to give this park here a little visit?” Taron asks and lets his finger wander over the screen.

“Don’t care.” Rich moans and opens his legs now. His cock is already dripping pre cum from all the teasing before. He is hard as a rock and needs a release soon.

Taron sees the bulge of Richard’s trousers and bites his lower lip. “Want some more?”

“Yes.” Richard says and bucks his hips up when he adds more. “Yess, Taron. Fuck.” he groans and braces himself with his hands on the bench while thrusting forward, trying to ride himself through the pleasure.

T can’t believe his eyes when he sees Richard rubbing one hand over his cock through his trousers and moaning louder than before. He was totally living for it and drowned in the feeling. Rich contorts his face and pants his name.

Richard bends forward when Taron increases the level of vibration again and strokes his hands down his thighs. The Scottish whimpers and braces himself on his knees, moving his hips in a steady rhythm. He starts moaning continuously and throws his head back. “Taaron.” he moans loudly and tries to keep himself together. His cock is pulsing and presses against the fabric of his pants.

“Shh. We’re still in public, baby.” T whispers into his ear and it only makes Rich moan.

“I’m so fucking close.” Richard pants and groans breathless. “Need to cum so bad.” he cries out Taron’s name when he plays with the remote again on his phone.

Taron watches Richard shaking full of lust as he gets closer to his climax. He knows Richard’s short and deep moans and the way his eyes flutter before he cums. Rich starts letting out whiny moans mixed with pants. Just when he feels like he’s about explode, everything stops again. “Enjoy.” T says and hands him back his ice cream.

Richard whines needy and smacks his arm. “That’s not fair.”

“I said teasing as long as we’re here.” Taron states with a bright grin. He strokes through Richard’s sweaty curls and raises his eyebrows. “Someone’s enjoying this.”

Rich rolls his eyes playfully and tucks his legs up on the bench. He pulls down his sunglasses and turns sideways. Lying down, he rests his head on Taron’s lap and looks up into the sky. “You’re mean.” he pouts.

“You’re gonna get to cum this evening, I promise. Let’s say not only once.” Taron promises and leans down, placing a kiss on his forehead.

**************************

In the evening, they are driving back to the island in a little boat. T and Rich are in the backseat enjoying the wind cooling them down. Taron watches his boyfriend, who’s sitting sideways so he can look out at the water. He has his head rested on his arms and the wind dances through his curled hair.

The sun is already going down and the sky displays soft yellow and red streaks. T starts playing with Richard’s hair that shines golden in the remaining sunlight. Rich smiles at him shortly before looking back at the ocean. Taron crawls over to him and rests his head on his shoulder while he wraps his arms around him and tangles their hands underneath Richard’s head.

Richard enjoys having Taron so close. The way he holds him and covers him with his body makes him feel safe. He realizes once more how much he loves his boyfriend and how much he affected his life so positively. Even the little fights they have had or being apart because of a role only made him grow as a person and grow to love him more. A smile settles on his face thinking about it and his heart swells of happiness, having his loving boy here.

“What are you smiling at?” T asks curiously and turns his head to the side a bit.

“Jus’ thinking.” Rich says and blushes a bit. It wasn’t the first time Taron caught him thinking about him.

“About what?” he asks smirking, seeing his boyfriend’s cheeks turning red.

“How lucky I am to be with you. How safe and happy you make me feel.” Rich admits and turns his head a bit to the side now. Now it’s Taron’s turn to blush. “And how much I love you.”

“I love you too.” Taron says and smiles softly at him. Rich smirks seeing his blueish green eyes shining brightly in the sunlight.

“So so much.” Rich mumbles and kisses him lovingly. He pulls T on his lap and lies his own legs over the seat. They tangle their hands in front of Taron’s stomach and T leans against him.

“Ten minutes and then we’re there.” T says and starts grinning when he gets an idea. “You know I’m gonna take care of you when we get back, right?”

“Mm.” Rich hums and looks down at T as he takes his phone out. He wouldn’t dare do this right now. Or would he?

“I could still tease you before I do.” he says in a cheeky tone.

“Please don’t.” Rich says giggling seeing the look on his boyfriend’s face. “Otherwise I’ll cum in my pants and I don’t think I can keep my mouth shut.”

“Oh, usually you can when you have to.” T says and opens the app. He makes the toy come alive and leans his head back to watch Richard’s face. His boyfriend closes his eyes and bites his lower lip, trying to hold back a moan. “And you look so delicious like that.” T says and smirks when Rich opens his eyes and rolls them at him playfully.

Richard’s grip around his boyfriend’s torso tightens when Taron raises the power of the vibration. He hides his face in Taron’s shoulder groaning, and thinks he’s about to pass out when T repeats his action and turns it up very high. “T, fuck-.” he growls into his ear.

Taron loves hearing the strangled sounds Richard makes and feeling his cock getting hard underneath his ass. T has his fun and slides his hips forward a bit, leaning against him again.

Rich has trouble keeping his self-control with T moving on his lap. He pants and begs Taron to turn it off and wait until they are at the house.

T gives in giggling and turns it down to a very low vibration before turning it off completely.

As soon as the boat is out of sight, Taron feels himself being wrapped up in Richard’s arms. Rich kisses the back of his neck over and over again while he presses his hips forward against Taron.

T can feel Richard’s erection against his bum and smirks knowingly. Rich wouldn’t let him get away with his teasing not one bit. He turns around in his arms and grabs his chin, pulling him close. They share a deep and intense kiss, sliding their tongues against each other. T pulls back and grabs Richard’s shirt while walking through the sand backwards. “Get your clothes off and you’re gonna get what you’ve been waiting for.”

Rich grabs him by the waist and picks him up. Taron chuckles and wraps his legs around his waist. Richard kisses him passionately and moans into it, finally feeling Taron’s lips against his own. He walks them over to the door and searches for the keys in Taron’s pockets. When he finds them, he unlocks the door and kicks it open. Inside, he lets Taron down and gets rid of his sneakers, kicking them away. They undress each other quickly and before they realize, they are already in bed and sharing hot kisses.

Taron moves him further up on the bed and starts searching for something in the drawer of his bedside table. He brings Richard’s arms over his head during a kiss and before Rich can react in any way, he finds himself cuffed to the bed. Taron puts a pillow underneath his head and winks at him.

T starts kissing down his torso and takes his nipple into his mouth, sucking it lovingly. Richard moans and his eyes flutter closed at the sensation. Taron switches to the other one and gives it the same treatment, taking his time. He licks a trail down to his abdomen and sinks his teeth into it.

Rich moans at the feeling and looks down at T, who removes the plug softly. Taron’s talented tongue swirls around his cock and coats him in spit. What he can’t see is how T grabs his phone and turns on the plug on a low level. Taron sits up and grabs Richard’s cock. He holds the plug against Richard’s tip and is surprised by a loud wrecked moan that leaves his boyfriend’s chest. Rich throws his head back, arches his back, and pulls at the hand cuffs. “Fuck.” he pants.

Taron opens him up slowly and teases him with the plug. When Richard is opened up enough, he pushes in the plug carefully, soothing his needy boyfriend who begs him to finally put it inside him.

Richard squirms as the plug fills him up, pressing against his walls. He tries to keep still, knowing Taron is still in a teasing mood. T gets on his knees between his legs and smirks at him, coating his fingers in lube. He starts opening himself up and Rich can only growl hungrily as he watches his boyfriend. “Fuck, T, don’t be such a tease.”

Taron moans loudly as he pushes three fingers inside himself, brushing them over his prostate. “Shh, don’t be so impatient.” He says and reaches out for his phone with his other hand. Clicking a rhythm, he turns the vibration on low and Rich tenses as the plug starts vibrating against his walls, stopping from time to time to increase the vibration, and going back down.

Richard is so caught up in the pleasure he gets from the plug he doesn’t notice Taron sit on his knees, straddling his lap. Suddenly, the sensation stops and he looks up at T seeing he got the lube again.

“I’m gonna make you scream my name, love.” he says and winks at him.

“Do something before I cum from looking at you!” Rich whines and makes himself comfortable in the pillows, resting his arms next to his head. This was torture. He was feeling full with an unmoving plug. Taron was taking his time and his hands were cuffed to the bed, unable to fasten the situation. Richard was longing for his boyfriend’s body and not getting it drove him crazy.

Taron giggles and leans down, kissing him softly. He checks the handcuffs and looks at him worried. “Too tight?”

“Just right.” Rich assures him.

T nods and sits up straight on his knees again, grabbing Richard’s cock and coating him in lube. “Let’s see how much you can take.” The Welsh teases him and guides himself down on Richard’s cock. He places his hands on Richard’s chest and moans softly as he sinks deeper onto him. Richard stretching him perfectly as always.

Richard groans softly and bucks his hips up, pushing into Taron as he slides down on his cock fully and gives himself a moment to adjust. When he sees him reaching out for the phone, he knows he will be cumming soon enough.

Taron turns on the plug on a low vibration and starts moving his hips slowly. He doesn’t want to overstimulate Richard. Just wanted to pleasure him. It doesn’t take long before Richard is begging for more. Taron picks up speed, turns up the vibration, and watches Richard’s head falling back in ecstasy.

“Oh fuck, T!” he presses out and pulls at his handcuffs as he arches his back. Rich can barely keep his eyes open but enjoys the pleasured look on Taron’s face above him. His baby was perfect.

Taron can feel him body filling with lust and passion quickly. Watching Richard squirm and be teased to an orgasm had Taron craving him. Now that he could hear his wrecked moans again while he was riding his cock just did something to him. He reaches out for his phone and turns the vibration up a few notches. Watching his boyfriend’s reaction makes him drip onto his torso and shake slightly with pleasure.

Richard lets out a strangled groan when he feels Taron picking up speed and the plug buzzing against his prostate furiously. He can’t think about anything else anymore and he knows how loud he is now. His head falls back and he arches his back up high. This feeling was beyond anything he could’ve ever imagined.

Taron changes his position slightly and lets out a deep hungry moan when Richard’s cock massages his prostate. “Ugh fuck!” he growls and his eyes start fluttering. He was reaching his orgasm as well.

“God, T. I’m gonn-ahh-a cum soon.” Richard moans, his accent thick and coated in pleasure that it makes Taron’s stomach flip. It was music to his ears.

Taron hums agreeing and picks up speed and vibration, rolling his hips aggressively. He can barely pick up the phone now to turn up the vibration once more.

Richards starts thrusting into him fast, his eyes pressed closed. Pure lust and need to cum is rushing through his veins. “Taron-.” he moans and his body starts shaking.

T bites his lip and holds back a groan as he breaks down on his elbows and sinks his head onto Richard’s chest. “Cum for me, baby.” he groans and only a second later he’s releasing himself all over Richard’s torso. His body quivering as he tries to catch his breath.

Richard shouts his name, cumming hard, and fills Taron up. He can barely move his hips, too overwhelmed by his orgasm and the still pulsing plug inside of him. His boyfriend pushes himself up slowly and turns the plug off, lazily riding out his orgasm.

Taron slides down from Rich and removes the plug from inside him, making him growl at the emptiness. He removes the handcuffs before resting his head on Richard’s chest, panting a bit.

“That felt fucking amazing.” Rich pants out and strokes over his head lovingly.

“Glad you liked it.” Taron teases a bit and pushes himself up, kissing Richard sweetly. “Let’s hop in the pool. I’m too lazy to get in the shower.”

Richard chuckles and nods, placing a kiss on his forehead.

**************************

Richard leans against the edge of the pool, Taron in his arms, and smiles at him happily. “I can’t imagine I would be happier anywhere else right now.”

Taron beams at him and kisses him softly. “I’m happy to hear that. I was hoping this vacation would help us to get away from our stressful daily lives.” he runs his hand through his hair and massages his scalp.

“Oh it definitely does.” Rich hums and relaxes into his touch. “I’m so happy to have you, you know?” his boyfriend blushes at him and Richard feels his heart warming with adoration for the younger man in front of him. “Is there a reason you’re blushing like that?”

“Mm, I guess I’m in love with you and hearing such things from you do that to me.” T states and Rich just smirks knowing exactly why. “You’re really good at making me blush you know?”

“I know.” he says and leans his forehead against Taron’s, closing his eyes.

T bops his nose with his own and presses a light, soft kiss onto his lips. “I’m happy to have you too.”

**********************

Taron stares up at the sky and enjoys the last bit of sun still in the sky. Richard is lying to next him on the blanket at the beach and places lazy kisses onto his shoulder. Both of them are still naked, too lazy to put on clothes or cover with towels and deciding to let the sun dry their wet bodies.

Richard rolls himself on top of Taron and smirks down at him. His boyfriend’s eyes are watching him curiously.

Taron sees the hint of hunger in Richard’s deep blue eyes that are normally soft and gentle. He pushes himself up a bit and connects their lips to a hungry kiss. Rich moans into it and braces himself next to his face, deepening the kiss and igniting the passion. His full lips travel down on Taron’s neck, biting him softly and sucking at the reddened skin.

T whines deliciously underneath him as he nibbles his earlobe and Richard feels his body heating up again. After such a day, he needed more of his boyfriend’s touch. This time he would take the lead, make his boyfriend feel good and taking in his beautiful wrecked moans.

He can feel Richard longing for more and lets his hands wander down his back. “Please.” he whispers and that’s all that it takes for Rich. He pushes himself up and turns Taron onto his belly, pulling his ass up in the air and parting his legs.

Richard leans down and grabs his waist, sinking his tongue between his cheeks and pushing it against Taron’s entrance.

T shudders in anticipation and lets out a soft moan, his fingers curling into the blanket a bit. He pushes his knees apart a bit more and makes it easier for Richard to slide his tongue into him. “Mm yes.” he moans and focuses fully on Richard’s tongue fucking him open slowly.

Richard pushes his tongue in as deep as he can and strokes over his lower back lovingly. Rich reaches between Taron’s legs and grabs his balls, massaging them gently. Taron moans his name and begs for more. Richard pushes his finger into his hole and starts pushing in and out.

“More, please.” T growls and sighs satisfied when Richard pushes in another finger. He presses back, needy as hell, and tries to get him in deeper. “Oh fuck, Rich. I need you.” he groans.

“Oh baby, patience. I have to open you up before.” Richard says and pushes another two fingers in, opening him up smoothly and brushes his fingers over his prostate. Taron whines and his body shakes at that feeling. “Feeling good?”

Taron sinks his head down on his hands and moans loudly. “Mm.” he squirms when Richard’s fingers massage his prostate firmly and lets out a strangled moan. “Rich-.”

Richard doesn’t need any words from Taron, knowing what he wants and pulls his fingers out. He sits on his knees and grabs Taron’s hips, pulling him up on his hands. “What do you want love? You want me inside you?”

“Yes, please!” Taron growls and looks back at him. “Don’t worry about the lube or anything. Just do me rough baby.”

Richard groans at his words and pats his bum lovingly. Taron was a real goner for rough sex sometimes and Richard loved it every time. “Ready?”

Taron nods and feels Richard grabbing his hips before he’s already pushing against his entrance. He pushes into him in small, hard thrusts and the burning sensation drives Taron crazy. “Oh fuck, yes.” he growls and bites his lower lip, enjoying the feeling of Richard stretching him perfectly.

“You’re so tight, fuck!” Rich growls.

“Just for you.” T teases him softly.

Richard thrusts forward hard and quick, pushing in completely and making them both moan in relief. With Taron, it always had been something else. Having sex with Richard wasn’t just fucking each other senseless. There had always been passion and a deep love and trust between them. Pure adoration for each other in their eyes and being a hundred percent vulnerable and intimate.

Taron lets out a loud moan when Richard starts thrusting into him in a quick rhythm. “God, keep going like that.” he growls and his fingers curl into the blanket when Richard thrusts in deep.

Rich knows how to make Taron enjoy pure pleasure. He changes his angle a bit and thrusts in slow, stroking his cock over Taron’s prostate. His boyfriend whimpers deliciously and Richard repeats his action with more power.

Taron’s body shudders at that feeling and his mouth falls open in a long groan. “Right there.” he growls and pants a bit. “Harder.” he presses out and his eyes flutter closed as Richard massages his prostate with hard, powerful thrusts.

Richard can feel Taron shaking and how he’s having trouble keeping himself up. He feels his own body heating up rapidly and his stomach flipping. “T-.”

“Fuck, Rich, I’m - ohh fuck! - I’m gonna cum.” Taron can barely choke out and feels his arms shaking underneath his body.

“Go on, cum for me, baby.” Richard groans and watches Taron underneath him tensing and shaking hard as he releases down on the blanket. The moans, the shout of his name, that leaves Taron’s lips is music to his ears. He pushes in once again before he keeps still and fills Taron up with his cum.

Taron breaks down and Richard collapses on top him. Richard rolls his hips lazily through his orgasm while planting tiny kisses on his shoulder.

When they caught their breath and separate their bodies, Taron smirks a bit and gets up. “I’ll get some clothes and a fresh blanket.” Rich just nods staring up in the sky.

Richard enjoys the moment of silence but feels even better when Taron is back next to him again, helping him stand. They quickly hop in the pool to get rid of the sweat and mess they made.

Back outside, they dry each other with a towel and put on a pair of boxers, sweatpants and a sweater that T brought along. Taron lies down the blanket into the sand and looks at Richard for a moment. “Okay, can you keep on standing here for a little while?”

“Yeah?” Rich asks confused and looks at Taron, who’s running his fingers through his hair nervously.

“Okay, I need a moment.” T says and runs his hands through the pockets of his sweatpants. Come on, do it now. “I decided to use this trip for something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time already.” he admits and Richard nods slowly, trying to figure out what was going on. “Well-.” he steps forward and grabs Richard’s hands. “You, Richie, are the most amazing person I know. I love every single inch of you. My life has turned upside down meeting you and we went through some crazy stuff together.”

“True.” Rich chuckles and looks down at him curiously. Was this a cute birthday speech?

“You are so stunningly beautiful and you have those amazing blue eyes that still drive me crazy. I can’t imagine myself without you anymore because we belong together.” Taron says and his voice shakes a bit. “I am so, so happy to have you by my side and I love you so much!” he says and swallows seeing Richards soft look. “But there is one thing we have to change.”

“Okay?” Richard asks nervously and searches Taron’s face for a little sign that would give him a hint. Taron takes a step back and lets go off his hands. “Making me nervous.”

“No need to be. At least for you.” Taron giggles softly and takes something out of his pocket. Come on, now or never. He sighs. “Oh fuck it here we go.” he lets out a shuddery breath and goes down on one knee, opening the little box. “Richard Madden - Oh come don’t you dare crying now!” Taron protests when Richard presses his hands in front of his mouth and his blue eyes fill with tears rapidly. “Let me ask you before you make me cry as well!” he giggles and Rich chuckles a sorry, taking a deep breath. “Richard Madden, would you give me the honor of becoming my husband?” he asks with tears in his eyes and he could swear his heart never beat so fast before.

Rich just nods quickly and tears fall down his cheeks. “Yes!” he says and pulls Taron up as soon as he put the ring onto his finger. Richard connects their lips in a quick kiss before pulling him into a hug and sniffing into his shoulder. “I thought you’d never ask.” he chuckles.

“Oh love, I was waiting for the right moment.” Taron giggles and holds him close in his arms.

“I love you, bubs.” Rich presses out and smiles at him happily.

“I love you, Richie.” T says and fondles over his hair. They sink into each other’s eyes and connect their lips to a loving kiss. They would never be able to forget this day.

@taron-eggmcmuffin @sarahegerton96 @primaba11erina @multicoloredchicken @anxiety-at-the-classroom @maddertonmyheart @madderton-obsessed @naptitimadderton

[prinsesa-ng-musika]

over and over again//an octet oneshot

I made a fic for our resident ego-surfer Jessica! She’s my favorite character from the musical so naturally I’d end up writing about her one day ^-^

Very much filled with headcanons so don’t try looking for certain parts in the script lol, just enjoy <3

Very light blood mention in the part with the stoplight, but other than that, well, if you can get through Octet, you can get through this.

also on my quotev! (@/hundredstorycity)

--

It was a long taxi ride home for Jessica. This gave her time to think, too much time, almost.

After the meeting ended, she immediately went out to hail a cab, and decided to head straight back to her apartment. Not like she would choose to stay outside for an extended amount of time in the first place, and it was already nighttime anyway.

Her phone was back in her bag; they all got their gadgets back from the box after the final hymn. Oddly enough, she didn't feel the urge to check it. Not like that was unusual. She always managed to keep away from screens the first few hours after a Friends of Saul meeting, but eventually those urges did come back, and she would never be strong enough to block them out completely.

Would she ever be strong enough? It's a question she's always pondered upon, albeit worded a bit differently. Back then, it was a question of "did she look strong in the eyes of others?". It was as if she were constantly insecure, always searching up stuff about herself because she wanted everything to be positive. In fact, that's why she joined the Friends of Saul in the first place! All of the veterans knew she was contacted due to her habitual ego-surfing. Even before the incident, "Jessica Schulte" would be the most commonly searched term in her browser's history. The video only made things worse.

Jess stared out the window for a bit, trying not to get too dizzy by the sights whizzing past. That ended up being easier than expected, because the heavy traffic led all the vehicles to move at a very slow pace.

Eventually, they reached an intersection, and the light was red. The already low speed dropped to a flat zero as the cars stopped.

"Ah, New York City, with all its cars, traffic, and the insane amount of stress among its civilians. There's a reason it's called the 'city that never sleeps'" the driver says, shifting the gears to neutral.

"Mhm." was all Jess could mutter in reply.

The view that she was currently looking at was suddenly obscured by a private car halting beside them. The backseat window was perfectly parallel to the one Jessica was looking out from. Inside the car seemed to be a family; a father driving, an older brother in the passenger seat, a mother and two other children in the back, and a baby in the mother's arms. How cute, thought Jess, a nice, loving family. Not very safe, though. Their windows are pretty lightly tinted, so it's rather easy to see through the glass-

With wide eyes, Jess quickly looked away and turned her head forward, making sure to obscure her face.

"Driver, are the windows of this taxi tinted dark enough?" she asks, rather paranoid.

"Well, just as dark as any other car in this city! Except for that one just beside us, I guess. They definitely should fix that; it's almost as if they want people to see inside-"

"Oh okay. Thank you." Jess interrupted. She didn't like conversations lasting longer than necessary, especially when they were about privacy. The stoplight was still a bright red, and Jess wished she could ignore how much it looked like the blood of a newly sacrificed lamb. She also wished that the light would turn green soon.

The driver glanced at her through the rearview mirror. "Miss, you alright back there? You look as if someone's chasing you. On the run, or something?" He laughed.

Jess shook her head. "No, not on the run." More like in hiding.

"Hm." The driver did not sound convinced. "Whatever you say."

Seconds later, the light turned green, and they were set to go. Jessica breathed a sigh of relief as the car next to them took a turn and was now out of sight. She didn't care if it made the driver more suspicious; there were more than enough strangers judging her even without this one.

Instead, she turned her thoughts towards the family in that car, which led her to think of her own family. A beautiful trio they were, a father, a mother, and one lovely daughter. Yes, she had no siblings, but her parents did treat her like an absolute princess, so she definitely enjoyed the solitude. Sometimes her peers would tell her she grew up as the archetypal only child: spoiled, whiny, and always in need of attention. Okay, so maybe the last bit was kind of true, but the rest of them weren't! Not her fault that she grew up in a loving, functional family without any other children in the household!

Then she thought of her other, less functional "family". The Friends of Saul. Though she was a stranger to Saul himself, whoever he was, she was starting to feel a familial kind of relationship with the rest of the group's members. She thought of her first meeting, and how paranoid she was that people would break the rule of avoiding feedback because they didn't like her, and how relieved she was when that didn't happen. She thought of Paula, who'd been her leader for as long as she had been in the group, since she had never met Saul herself, and how kind and gentle she had been to all of them. She thought of today's meeting, and the octet of addicts that were present. Some of them she saw more commonly, and some of them she'd only seen a few times before. She thought of the new girl, Velma, and how awkward yet open-minded she had been. Jess felt rather self-concious when everyone looked at her after told Velma that they were at letter E, but later on she realized it was worth it, and that Velma must have been a thousand times more self-concious than she was.

Then, after what seemed like an eternity of a ride, the taxi arrived at its destination. Jessica paid the driver and muttered a quick thank you, then made her way to the front of her apartment. As she made her way up the stairs, she felt the urge coming back. The Monster, beckoning her to check her feed and watch her own ruin. She decided she wanted to do something else to distract her from that. So her thoughts drifted to the last part of that night's meeting, after they had completed the Tower Tea Ceremony and listened to Velma's share. Karly and Henry were having a quick little conversation about how their experiences were, then Jess suddenly joined their conversation, causing the two to look at her in amusement. Gosh darn it, she thought to herself, I've never been a shy person, so why was that so hard for me?

Finally, she ended up in front of her door. Fishing out the keys from her bag, she remembered what exactly it was she had told the two of them. Smiling to herself, she decided she would try making her own bread.

[andormeddows]

Let the rain fall down ::: John Deacon

Pairing: John Deacon x Fem!Reader

Summary: The reader is terrified of thunderstorms, but John’s always there to help her get through them. Fluff!

Word count: 2524

Warnings: A bad written fluff! Also, there’s a bit of swearing.

Notes: I’m having a lot of mood drops lately and I need to forget them somehow. So, I decided to write a John Deacon fluff for y'all! Also because I’m the one who’s terrified of thunderstorms. It’s raining a lot and I’m having to face them all alone, oh, well… Anyway, hope you like it! Sorry for any mistakes. Feedback is always appreciated!

Masterlist is here!

The rain fell heavily, splattering the apartment windowpanes, big and heavy droplets of water quickly ran down the glass. The wind loudly ran through the crack under the apartment door. John slowly pushed the door open, carefully carrying his bass inside a bag. He usually left it at the studio, but he knew he would be playing it that night.

“YN?” he called uncertain, the pitch black apartment was a clearly giveaway that she hadn’t gotten home yet.

A sudden flash illuminated the room, closely followed by a thunder so loud that John cursed. He nervously bit his lips as he propped the bass bag against the wall behind the apartment door, closing it behind him. YN was supposed to be home by then. The fact was that she was stuck in the library of the university, too afraid to move because of the rain. She had always been terrified of thunderstorms.

She had planned to leave the university early, where she had been working on her research in order to conclude her master’s degree in Chemistry, but her tutor had prevented her from doing so. He kindly dedicated his night to trash every single word she had written so far. There she sat, alone, notebooks and heavy books opened in front of her scared figure while she listened to the rain splattering the high windows. Thoughts about her tutor’s rather harsh words were long forgotten as her body shivered at every flashlight that ripped the cloudy night sky and at every thunder that blasted through her ears.

Lamps were lit on the wooden tables across the gigantic library. There were a few graduation students devouring books before a day of long exams in a desperate try to learn everything they possibly could. She averted her gaze back to her writings and the opened books. The lights faltered slightly as a sudden flash invaded the library, causing YN to desperately close her eyes as a deafening thunder resonated through the silent place.

“Honey, do you want a ride home?” her long-time friend whispered-asked, touching YN’s shoulder lightly.

“Oh, I’m fine,” YN answered, quite scared at the sudden interaction. “I still have these books to read by the end of the night. Something’s going wrong with the experiments at the laboratory.”

“I’m sorry.”

YN shrugged, wincing at another flashlight. “It’s alright.”

“Are you sure you don’t want a ride home? It wouldn’t bother me at all.”

“I’m fine, really. John’s picking me up, by the way,” she quickly lied. God, she was becoming an expert in forging lies. “Thank you for offering the ride. Please, drive safely.”

“I will, YN, don’t worry.”

She disappeared through the high shelves. YN sighed, closing her eyes once again. It was actually pathetic, wasn’t it? Being terrified of the rain as she was, she felt like a whiny five-year-old child. She felt nauseous at the noise of the droplets of the water being so violently thrown against whatever windowpanes; she felt threatened by the roughness of the flashlights and the thunders; she felt weak facing Nature’s force.

John, on the other hand, never underestimated her fears, nor thought they were childish. He needn’t any explanations; he needn’t it to make sense. Seeing that, after a long hour waiting, there was no sign of her, John snatched the car keys from its hook by the apartment door and rushed downstairs. He knew she wouldn’t dare to step outside until the rain had stopped. He also knew exactly where to find her.

He drove carefully through the rainy night. The windshield wipers moved fast, the droplets of water insistently blurring the glass. The soft music on the radio could faintly be heard as he firmly gripped the steering wheel between his hands.

“YN, love,” John’s soft voice reached her ears as his wet hands reached her shoulders. She cringed away at the sudden contact. He felt her tense muscles through the fabric of her thin button up shirt.

“For God’s sake, John!” she exhaled, a relieved laugh escaping from her lips as her hands reached her chest.

He smiled, pressing his lips against the top of her head, a few droplets of water falling upon her. After parking by the university, the walk to the library had been quite long. His hair was damp, clothes stained by the cold water, shoes drenched.

“I couldn’t leave my girl alone on a rainy night,” he whispered against her cheek, softly pressing a kiss to her skin.

YN’s face turned a slight shade of red at those words, retreating herself from his touch. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no. Hell, no! Don’t be sorry,” he insisted, pulling at the empty wooden chair beside her and quickly sitting down, one of her hands in between his larger ones. “I’m picking you up. Let’s go home, love.”

She nodded, gulping slightly. John helped her gather her mess, closing the books she had been fake-reading since the rain started pouring. She shoved the notebooks inside her bag as he quickly went to the front desk in order to ask for a book loan. After stuffing the books into her bag, he seized it in his hands and both of them reached the heavy wooden doors.

“We’ll have to run to the car,” John bit his lips. “Is that okay?”

“Y-Yeah,” she faintly answered.

“I’m right beside you, don’t worry,”

The minutes spent running were anxious ones. YN would cringe at the flashlights, crying out in fear as the pitch black campus surrounded her. John quickly unlocked the car, shoving her bag in the backseat as she hurriedly reached the passenger seat. Soon, he followed, reaching the driver seat and closing the door thud. The muffled sound of the rain reached their ears. As John started the car, the soft sound of the music coming from the radio caused YN to snuggle into her seat.

“Thank you, John,” she murmured, reaching for thigh and squeezing it softly in a caring gesture. Their eyes locked for a split second, John smiled as he saw in her gleeful eyes how much those words meant.

“As I said, I couldn’t leave my girl alone on a rainy night,” he uttered as his fingers gently wrapped around her hand on his thigh, bringing it to his lips and pressing a light kiss against her skin.

The drive back to their shared apartment was silent. It was a comfortable silence, though. YN had her eyes closed as John sang along with the songs played on the radio. His voice had a delicious soothing effect on YN’s tense muscles.

As they reached the apartment, John instantly helped her get rid of her damp coat. “What do you think about having a relaxing bath?”

“Hm, will you join me?” she asked innocently.

“Do you want me to join you?”

She bit her lips as a shy smile found its way to her features. John pecked her lips, taking that as a ‘yes’. “Go ahead, then. I’ll join you in a few minutes. I was planning on preparing a mug of hot chocolate. I’m just gathering the ingredients… Or do you prefer tea?”

“Hot chocolate, please.”

YN reached the bathroom, turning the lights on. She could still hear the rain splattering the windowpanes around the apartment, the wind still violently tried to break inside as it hit the fierce building. She quickly filled the bathtub with steaming water, concentrating in the gentle flow of the transparent liquid through the silver faucet.

“Fuck!” she screams as a thunder echoes outside, so loud it seems a bomb exploded right beside their block of apartments. The lights faltered and YN rummaged through the bathroom in order to reach the door and run to John’s warm embrace.

However, before she could give more than two steps away from the bathtub, the lights wholly went out. YN froze in the spot, nervously digging her nails in the palms of her hands as a strangled cry escaped from her lips and a wan expression found its way to her features.

John’s heart raced as he rummaged through the cupboards in search for a candle and some matches. Soon, his face was illuminated by the bright orange firelight of the candle as he slowly made his way to the bathroom, firmly gripping the tea plate to which he had glued the candle.

“You’re safe, love,” John whispered as he propped the tea plate on the marble sink.

YN nodded eagerly, exhaling in relief. John filled the bathroom with candles, creating a comfortable dimly lit yet romantic atmosphere, breaking the chaotic one created by the thunderstorm. As YN slowly stripped naked, shivering at the cold air that invaded the bathroom, John filled the bath with bubbles. He happily splashed the water so that more bubbles formed, some reaching the tiled floor.

“This is good enough,” she uttered, a gleeful smile on her lips as she approached the bathtub.

“It’s perfect!” he exclaimed, quickly getting rid of the shirt he wore.

YN got into the bathtub, slowly letting the steaming water engulf her tense muscles. “God, this is marvelous.”

She inhaled deeply before submerging in the water. Whipping her eyes and blinking a few times because of the amount of bubbles that surrounded her, she laughed slightly, looking around for John. He watched her features softening as she entertained herself with the bubbles.

“Come on! Are you staying there?” she motioned for him to approach the bathtub, stretching one of her lathery hands in his direction

Sitting up, she gave him room to accommodate himself behind her. She rested her back against his chest as his arms wrapped around her slippery body, gently kissing her shoulders. “Are you feeling better?”

“Absolutely. Thank you, John,” she murmured, turning her upper body in order to face him and pressing a kiss to his lips.

Their intimate moment seemed to push her previous fear to the back of her mind. The thunders kept echoing outside, but John’s presence was enough to make her feel safe. The candled slowly burned out as John kissed every bit of her skin he could reach, massaging her tense back and gently washing her hair, brushing his fingers at her scalp and making shivers go down her spine. She had her eyes closed as he washed her body, his fingers deliciously pressing against her skin.

“Your turn, come on,” she whispered against his fingers as she pressed light kisses to them.

Both of them shuffled in the bathtub, slopping water and bubbled all over the tiled floor. John now had his back pressed against her chest, propping his head on her chest as she cupped water in her hands, gently letting it flow through John’s soft hair. He closed his eyes, smiling cheerfully at the tingling sensation that ran through his veins.

The soft splash of the water was nothing compared to the big droplets of water that still hit the windows. Honestly, he preferred that relaxing sound either. After the water had cooled down enough to make them shiver, both of them left the bathtub, wrapping their bodies in fluffy towels. A few candles had their firelight extinguished.

YN was already snuggled on the living room couch, a few pillows pressed under her relaxed body when John finished cooking the hot chocolate. He reached the candle lit living room holding two mugs. Sitting down beside her, she pressed her head to his chest and both of them snuggled together on the couch.

“This one’s for you,” John handled her one of the mugs in his hands.

“But this is your favorite mug,” YN frowned, uncertainly wrapping her fingers around it.

“For my favorite girl,” he laughed heartily, winking at her as YN smiled brightly.

“Cheesy,” she murmured as she leaned back again against his chest. “How your day at the studio?”

John’s heart leapt at those words. He had been anxiously waiting for that moment. John loved to talk about his days at the studio, his eyes lit up in a way YN had never seen anyone’s eyes lightening up before. Due to his known enthusiasm and excitement, he shyly looked down at their intertwined hands.

YN rolled her eyes, quickly turning her body in his direction, sitting cross-legged on the couch. “You know you can tell me.”

He smiled. “Yeah.”

“Go on, then,” she encouraged him, taking a sip at the hot beverage.

“Well, it was… It was pretty good,” he smiled sweetly. YN could hear the happiness in his voice. “I wrote a new song, you know. I have been working on it for a while now and I finished writing it a few days ago. So, today I showed it to the boys. Freddie loved it.”

Fondness was what he was all about when Freddie’s name escaped from his lips, which had YN smiling lovingly at John. God, she loved to hear him talking about music. It was one of the most beautiful things she had seen in her entire life. He was so passionate about it, that she was inspired by him every day to become a musician as well.

“Do you have a name for it already?”

“’You’re My Best Friend’,” he told YN, taking a sip from the hot chocolate. “Hm, this is good!”

“Stop it!” she playfully punched his arm.

“Are you telling me you didn’t like it?”

“I like it! You know I do, John,” she laughed, pecking his lips. “Now, tell me… Did you and the boys polish it up, then?”

“Yeah, we did,” he anxiously answered without being able to hold back a smile.

YN bit her lips. She knew John was waiting for that question. “Would you play it for me?”

He laughed. “Yes, of course!”

“Oh, fuck!” she hissed as another extremely loud thunder reached their ears and John got up from the sofa, propping his mug on the coffee table.

He reached the couch once again, holding his bass. Sitting cross-legged in front of YN, he propped the instrument on his lap. About to play it, he licked two of his fingers before plucking away at the strings. He quietly sang the lyrics, which had YN closing her eyes in pure happiness.

His soft voice would reach her ears, accompanied only by the bass line. She loved to listen to the non-recorded raw songs, being able to identify each of John’s bass lines when they ended up being recorded.

“This is beautiful, John,” she whispered, opening her eyes.

“Is it?” he asked uncertain.

“Definitely! The boys must’ve loved it.”

“It’s way better when we’re all playing it together.”

“It’s not. I like to listen to you playing and singing along, something you don’t do a lot in the studio.” she uttered, reaching for his hand idly propped against the bass strings.

“Thank you, YN,” he sincerely said.

She smiled and leaned against his soft lips, kissing them passionately. A flashlight invaded the quiet living room and the thunder which followed it had John jumping up, his muscles suddenly tensing as he swore against YN’s lips.

“Oh, well…” she laughed as his cheeks turned a light shade of red. “Someone’s scared.”

[fmdxsujiarchive]

summary: a close producer tells suji the story of his twenty year-old niece falling in love with her first boyfriend, and it takes suji back to the days when she was young, stupid but in love date: multiple times around june to july word count: 2,205 words, excluding the lyrics notes: creative claims (full lyrics & composition) verification self-para for one day of twenty! not name-dropped but some very vague mentions of jae 👀

it’s been a couple of weeks since she’s submitted 26 for confirmation. the feedback that she received from the couple of in-house producers about the song had been overly positive. they say that they’re proud that she’s ventured into something a bit different and that going for a rock ballad style doesn’t sound too bad for her next album. suji knows that they’re mostly teasing her, but she appreciates the genuine support that she’s been receiving. she really wouldn’t be anywhere close to a singer songwriter if all these people surrounding her hadn’t been so helpful and supporting. 

she’s mumbling on about how many she should go find herself an actual studio to work in other than her home studio so that she doesn’t have to borrow equipment from a bunch of people inside the company when the producer that’s been allowing her to use his studio walks back in. he’s brought in some food, and she almost forgets how she hasn’t eaten in about five hours. she gives him a quick thanks. 

“hey, so my niece is turning twenty soon, and i was wondering what twenty year-old girls would like? i literally have nobody else to ask but you, suji-yah.” the look on his face tells her enough that he’s quite desperate for some advice, and she can’t help but chuckle as she takes a fry out from the bag. 

“i haven’t been twenty in so long, oppa,” she replies with a slight hum. “the most typical presents are roses, perfume and a kiss. i’m positive she doesn’t want the last one from you so maybe perfume? just go to olive young and ask them what’s popular these days with college freshmen. i’m sure they’ll be more than ecstatic to help you.” there was nothing special that she received on her turning of age day so she wouldn’t be too much help. 

“my sister—her mom—tells me she has a boyfriend already though so she’ll probably be getting all that from him anyway. isn’t there something more useful?” suji can’t help but laugh at the look of disgust that’s on minwoo’s face as he talks about his niece’s boyfriend. her sister hasn’t blessed her as the position of an aunt just yet, but she thinks she’ll probably understand the feeling one day. 

“if you want to be useful to both your sister and your niece, i say get her a laptop. that’s useful for college freshmen.” that seems to do it for him because he immediately whips out his phone and types on it. she assumes he’s making a note to himself or looking up laptops. either way, he seems to have hit the jackpot so she swivels her chair around back to the computer. 

she’s pulled up an older beat that she’s had drafted since preparations for her first mini album. it wasn’t polished enough then to be released as an actual song, but it was a soft beat that she enjoyed, and so she’d been working on it for a couple of days now, trying to polish it up so that it actually sounded like a song. 

“that sounds nice, suji. almost like a softer version of 26.” suji turns back around at the sound of minwoo’s voice with a raised brow because she hadn’t considered it like that before. the background sounds are quite repetitive as she’d been hoping to keep it minimal with the instrumentation, but now that he mentioned it, she could hear the similarities. “i guess? it has a lot less guitar though because i’m not trying to write another rock song, trust me. 26 was difficult enough though jaehyuk oppa was helpful when it came to the guitar in that one.”

he gets his eyes off of his phone to walk over to the screen. “yeah, but i think where the beat falls is pretty similar. not that it’s a bad thing. i actually think if you were to finish this, it’d go well in an album with 26. that is if gold star confirms 26 which they’d be stupid not to.” she gives him a light punch on the arm out of pure embarrassment from the compliment. 

“okay, yeah, my sister definitely wants the laptop. i think she just doesn’t want to buy one herself for her daughter. speaking of my niece, apparently she’s head over heels for this boyfriend. it’s her first boyfriend so can you blame her?” she can see that he’s trying to brush it off like it’s not bothering him, but she can see the clenched jaws as well as how he’s tapping the soundboard a bit too rapidly. “i think everybody thinks they’re in love at that age.” 

he nods in agreement before telling her how he needs to leave. she nods goodbye at him, and he doesn’t forget to give her one last burst of encouragement about how nice the composition sounds, and she gives him a thumbs up in response. 

now that her distraction was gone, she went back to the composition at hand. it was almost finished, but after minwoo had implanted the idea that it was similar to 26 but softer, she couldn’t help but wonder if it was the right decision to keep taking it. the instruments used are different, but the direction and sequence of things was similar. she puts it on repeat a couple of times before coming to the decision that she still likes how raw it sounds as it was originally drafted back when she was beginning to learn how to compose. she’ll take his words as meaning that her sound just really hasn’t changed too much. 

the volume of the background instrumentals don’t shift throughout the whole song, and she likes that about it. she continues to add a few new sounds as the song progresses, but it returns back to the original composition that she had in the very beginning at the end. the song progresses like it’s telling a story and that after the climax, it comes to a resolution just as it began. just the way she likes it. 

the completed composition is a step up from its very first original draft she created back in early 2019. she knows that her upcoming album is going to be released late into the year, and she thinks the way the muted bells and other instruments work together reminds her of walking on a fresh blanket of white snow. 

she hopes that it’s how others perceive the song as well. 

//

she’s on stand by in the middle of filming and hanging out in her car to avoid the harsh sunlight when she decides that she’s already memorized all five of her lines, and that’d she would like to use her time a little more productively. she takes out her cellphone as well as the notebook she keeps with her at all times in case she gets a burst of inspiration. 

she’s scrolling through her list of compositions that are naked without lyrics when she gets a kakaotalk from minwoo. 

[ hey! my niece really loved the laptop so thanks a lot, suji! but she’s always on a date with her boyfriendㅠㅠㅠ i miss when she was seven ] 

suji can’t contain her laughter at the whiny text, and she’s lucky that she’s the only one in the car right now. it would have been embarrassing to explain what she was laughing so hard about if anybody was around. leaning back onto the car seat, she tries to think back to her own life back when she was twenty. what was it like? was it as great of a transition as people make it out to be? 

twenty would mean six years ago which was exactly when she first debuted with fuse. she doesn’t remember any feelings of being in love around that time or really falling for anybody. all she can remember is the nerves she felt from performing on stage and just overall from being a rookie in the industry. looking back at the text that minwoo sent her, she smiles because his niece seems to be living the life. 

twenty. 

it’s made out to be some extravagant age, but nothing really changes much. however, korea seems to put a lot of emphasis onto the age. you’re suddenly allowed to drink, stay out during later hours and buy lottery tickets. though it also means you no longer can pay a discounted fare for the subway and bus, and that you’re suddenly thrown into a bigger society that’s no longer just school. 

but she can’t help but be a little jealous of minwoo’s niece. to feel like you’ve fallen so deep in love that you can’t live without your significant other though they’re both young. people grow out of love as quickly as they fall in love. she hears stories of how people were in the most beautiful relationships as college freshmen right when they hit twenty, and then they go through nasty breakups and then all marry someone else. however, when she hears those stories, the same people who curse their boyfriend or girlfriend at the same time also tell her that it was a meaningful time of their lives. 

perhaps that’s what’s so beautiful about being twenty. 

being allowed to do wild things, throw yourself into all these relationships but then look back at it and excuse yourself because you were young. because you were fresh, and you didn’t know any better. 

you know, there’s nobody i like so much these days that it makes my heart burst  not since that blue summer of our’s  that we passed through and suddenly faced breaking up 

there’s that feeling that exists when you first fall in love where you feel like you can’t live without the other person, and that you’re going to be with them forever. though she wasn’t twenty when she first felt it, she remembers the butterflies she felt as well as the way her cheeks would flush up at the mere thought of him. now suji looks back at it and laughs because just like minwoo’s niece, she was simply young and stupid but equally in love. loving at that age isn’t invalid, and that’s what she wants to tell minwoo, but she also understands why adults are quick to tell their adolescent children that nothing will actually last forever at that age. sure, there are the exceptions but most people are born as the rule anyway. 

the moment you turned away from me that night i cried alone so hard that i couldn’t breathe i’m still here the same

what was love to me back then?  somehow i don’t think i can love again

suji never actually confessed because the crush came and went, but she thinks that if she weren’t living her life as an idol, and that she was some regular college freshmen going through a breakup with her first love, this is how she would feel. somehow after losing your first love, you’re left with the thought that you can no longer love again. it’s only years later or when you’re meeting someone else that you tell yourself that it was such a silly thought to have. again, it’s the perks of being young. of being twenty.

back then when it was thrilling and clear back then when the whole world was brilliant  that time when i cried alone and hurt back then, at that time

one day in my twenties that seemed like it would last forever

it’s like the butterflies are back in her stomach as she writes down the lyrics as if she’s writing a boyfriend to some non-existent ex-boyfriend from her younger days. there’s a specific face that comes to mind that she does her best to try to erase because she knows it’s foolish; she knows that she’s completely over that now. she doesn’t feel her heart fluttering anymore around him, and she doesn’t blush at his every touch like she used to. or at least she doesn’t think she does. 

suji makes a mental note to herself to thank minwoo—or more like his niece—for being the inspiration to this song. if he hadn’t walked in on her that day and asked for the present recommendation as well as whine about how in love his twenty year-old niece was right now, she doesn’t think she would have been inspired to finish the song. 

it goes well with the soft instrumentals of the song, and she likes the way that it can act as a key to locked up memories that people most likely have of their first love, their first relationship, and their first heartbreak. 

a lot of people like to think that when they turn twenty, they magically turn into complete adults. they go above and beyond to prove that they can care for themselves only to look back at those days about five or six years later and cringe, kicking the blankets as they try to go to sleep with those memories in their head. 

but there’s a nice, cringey emotion that comes with the memory of coming of age. twenty, while legally now an adult, is a transition between still being young and learning more about yourself and the world. not just in love but all around. 

she scribbles little doodles and hearts around her finished lyrics just like she would back in school and closes the notebook with a satisfied smile. perhaps if this song makes it onto her next album, it’ll become one of her favorites.

[serpienten]

something sweet

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky can’t stop thinking about the cute nurse in the Tower. She, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be that into him.

Warning: reader being under a lot of pressure, some language perhaps

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: Well, fuck me this is long. I’m actually scared it’s gonna be boring but I genuinely hope it’s not. Some of this dialog was pretty therapeutic for me to write actually so this fic is a tad close to ma black empty heart. This was for @sgtjbuccky ‘s End of Year writing challenge and I hope I’ve done the prompt justice, Salina. Thank’s for letting me participate :D Please leave some feedback if you like what you read!

* italicized parts are flashbacks

“You’re a punk.”

“Jerk.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re the one out here whining like a baby, maybe you should shut up.”

“Do you need reminding why I’m ‘whining like a baby’? I didn’t shoot myself, that’s for sure.”

Steve rolls his eyes, arms crossed in front of his chest. “I had it under control. No need for you to play the hero.”

“Yeah, right.” Buchy scoffs. The movement makes the wound on his bicep - no, correction, it makes his whole damn body sting like a bitch. He winces slightly and a groan rumbles up his throat. “It sure didn’t look like it. Forgive me for trying to save your life.”

"I don't need you to save my life."

“Don’t play the hero, Steve.”

“I’m serious. Thank you, but no thank you."

Bucky sighs. Bruises, black and purple blotches, scrapes and gashes litter his body and if he weren’t in so much pain, and under the influence of the strongest, most useless painkillers in Bruce’s possession, he’d deck his stubborn as fuck friend in the face. The only thing giving the brunette some sort of satisfaction is that Steve doesn’t look much better than him. Just with one bullethole less.

Bucky doesn’t mind being injured.

In a twisted kind of way, every hit he takes in the field frees him more than it weighs him down. He takes every cut, each drop of blood, every twinge of pain, the ripped skin and the scars and he tries to get better because, at this point, it’s all he can do.

But that still doesn’t mean he opens his arms like Jesus and welcomes rains of bullets or a storm of flying knives to hit him full force. He doesn’t have a death wish. Anymore, at least.

But this time, this injury, is Steve’s fault. And Bucky’d rather die than not take the chance of annoying the righteous, golden boy, I’m-the-standard-come-try-getting-on-my-level Captain America.

“Aren’t you at all worried about me? I could be dying. I could be dying and it would be your fault.”

“You can call it payback for Coney Island if you want.”

“Are you kidding me?” Bucky huffs indignantly, “It’s been seventy fucking years. I lost an arm and am about to lose my life, I think that’s enough.”

“Of course I’m kidding.” With a sigh that revealed nothing but exhausted irritatioin, Steve fell down next to him on the bed. “Stop being such a diva about it, you’ve been through worse.”

“You li-”

“I hope I’m not interrupting.”

Bucky’s head whips to the side and instantly, he grimaces again. Eyes flying shut, he gently re-adjusts the ice pack on his right thigh. He hears footsteps coming closer and his posture straightens a little.

“You two look like you got hit by a plane.”

He opens his eyes to see a woman wearing a white, light coat looking down at a clipboard in her hands. A lovely shade of lipstick colors her lips, which are curled up in a teasing smile, in a beautiful tint of rose. The woman’s eyes flicker over what’s in front of her quickly and even the stupidest person in the universe could tell that she seemed to be more than just an expert in her field. Her legs are spread slightly in a confident, stable stance, soft locks of hair framing her face which - Jesus Mary and Joseph - gives him a whole new reason to feel weak in the knees.

“Hi, Y/N.” Steve lifts his hand and gives her a little wave, as much as the gash on his forearm allows.

The woman, Y/N, looks up from the clipboard and grins. Bucky’s heart stutters in his chest. “’Sup Steve.”

“Oh, you know, the usual.” Bucky looks to his side and furrows his brows at the lopsided grin on his blond friend’s face. How on earth does Steve know her and Bucky doesn’t? He gets injured tons of times more often than the man jumping out of airplanes without a parachute (a fact that, in retrospect, should definitely worry him more) and he’s never met her. Bucky’s eyes narrow and the mechanics in his left arm whir slightly as he clenches his fingers to a fist.

“Sergeant?”

“What?”

They’re both looking at him now, with equally anticipating expressions. Y/N must’ve said something because she re-adjusts to clutch the clipboard to her chest and clears her throat.

“I was asking if you’ve obtained any other serious injuries aside from the bullet wound on your bicep. I’ve seen a few cuts and scrapes, do you need me to take care of them right now or do you want to wait for Doctor Cho?”

“You- You want to look at my wounds?”

“Oh, uh, is there an issue?” Y/N’s eyebrows raised as she looks at him, taken aback.

“Wha- oh, no that’s not- I didn’t mean it to sound like that. There’s no issue. I...” he quickly explains, yet again reminded of his injuries when pain shoots through the backs of his thighs as he hastily scoots forward a little.

Y/N’s confused frown morphs back into genuine concern when he flinches. Something inside Bucky cramped painfully at the urge to make that expression disappear. She of all people, someone as breathtaking as her, shouldn’t be concerned about someone like him.

And then, she takes a step closer.

Bucky’s eyes widen. Simultaneously, he leans back. She notices it instantly and stops in her tracks, a helplessly puzzled expression on her face. “Don’t you want me to take a look?”

His breath hitches in his throat imperceptibly at her proximity. Bucky’s quick to realize that having her touch him when he’s already making a fool of himself without her hands on him wouldn’t be the best idea. He feels his heart thumping heavily in his chest as he shakes his head slowly.

“No, no it’s fine. I’m fine. Peachy. Perfect.” Internally, Bucky cringes hard.

Get your shit together, fuck’s sake.

The image of that white, fluffy cat thingy spreading its arms in a ‘What the fuck are you doing’ kind of way flashes through his mind and for a split second he clenches his jaw.

Steve next to him almost successfully stifles a laugh.

Y/N takes a quick step back and nods. “Okay, I’ll... I’ll tell Helen to hurry.”

She shoots Steve a look of complete and utter confusion, who in return replicates the exact pose of that damned cat Bucky’d just been thinking about, before turning around and leaving the room.

Bucky sharply lets out a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding in the first place, deflating like a balloon filled with too much air. “Oh my god...” he mutters under his breath, over and over again, voice tainted with disbelief.

“What on earth was that?” Steve regards his friend with raised eyebrows. Bucky’s slumps forward, the ice-pack scrunching weakly, wedged between his abdomen and his upper legs, and both of his hands, one silvery metal and the other tanned flesh obscuring the view of his face.

“That was me being you.” His reply is muffled, just like the low whine he lets out right after.

Bucky’s eyes are focused on the long glass wall separating the kitchen from the living room. It’s only Steve and him sitting on one of the grey, soft couches, the former flipping through a book, glasses perched on his nose.

The blond glances at him out of the corner of his eye. “Quit it, will you?”

“Quit what?”

“You know what I mean. Quit it. It’s creepy.” Steve focuses his attention back to the black ink on the book’s pages.

“Fuck you, you’re creepy.”

His friend lets out a breath. “She’s not interested. Quit it.”

“Maybe you should change the record, I think it’s broken,” Bucky says dryly, flopping down on his back, flinging one leg over the backrest of the couch. He doesn’t tear his gaze away from the glass wall, or rather, what’s behind it.

Steve doesn’t deign to look at him. Instead, he simply pushes the glasses, as useless and unnecessary they may be, up his nose and continues reading.

Some of the team members are sitting around the dining table, chattering and laughing faintly. There’s Natalia. Wanda, Sam, Tony. And Y/N.

To Bucky’s chagrin, Steve had told Sam about what had happened that day he first saw her. Ever since then, there isn’t a day Bucky doesn’t see Y/N around somewhere.

And it’s torture.

He can’t seem to be in the same room as her without embarrassing the fuck out of himself and quite frankly, it’s annoying. Steve’s and Sam’s giggles in the background don’t help at all. He constantly fumbles for words, acts insanely clumsy and, according to Tony, looks at her ‘with hearts flying out of his stupid eyes’. In his defense, he can’t exactly help it though. Her presence is addicting. She’s smart, makes him laugh (which isn’t an easy feat to achieve), smells like heaven and has a smile and laugh that threaten to make his knees buckle over every single time. 

Bucky’s so into her, Steve’s started to call Wednesdays ‘Whinedays’ because Bucky has been using the blond’s free day to his whiny advantage.

Of course, all of this would be a hell of a lot easier if she were into him too.

The only issue: She isn’t.

At least that’s what he thinks.

Y/N never fails to amaze and confuse the crap out of him. She flirts with him and shoots him down the second it looks like he might make a move. She touches him sometimes, gentle brushes of knuckles against knuckles or a soft squeeze to his bicep, but as soon as he steps a little closer, she’s jumps back like he just attempted to slap her. It sort of puts a damper on the rapid beating of his heart.

Bucky heaves out a sigh and closes his eyes, raising his hands to rub them over his face.

”Are you coming tonight?”

“To Tony’s rooftop soiree? No, thank you.” Bucky tilts his head to look at his friend.

“You might enjoy yourself. Once in a while, you really should show up.” Steve says it so nonchalantly and so smoothly Bucky has to furrow his brows. Ever since the brunet had joined the team, he’d been largely given the control over when and where he wanted to go. It was a well-known fact that the former Winter Soldier disliked parties for many reasons and most people had accepted that not ten horses could drag him near big crowds. And Stark’s parties were infamous for their loudness and for being on a whole other level of anxiety-inducing. Almost everyone had accepted his wish to not be forced to attend events like that, except for the Captain.

“No,” Bucky replies, a finality in his voice that would’ve put an end to most conversations. Most.

There’s a pause. Then, Steve pushes out a sigh and puts a colorful, completely scribbled over piece of paper to mark the page in his book, setting it down on the table. He shifts his sitting position so that his whole body is now turned into the direction of his sprawled out friend.

“I know you’re strictly against parties. And I respect that- I do.” Steve says with more urgency when Bucky snorts. “But this time, it’s not that big of a deal. There aren’t many people invited, just some field agents, the team and a few others. It’s a small event. I know you can handle that.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Bucky can see Y/N leaving. Sam waves at her just before she exits the room. His mood instantly darkens a little. With one smooth movement, both of Bucky’s feet are planted on the ground and he sits in an upright position. “Quit it, Steve. I’m not interested.”

“Go out with me. Just once. One time‘s all. Whaddaya say, doll?”

“Bucky, I...”

Serenity settles in the tower the second the little party on the rooftop starts.

It’s how Bucky likes it.

Calm. Quiet. Peaceful.

All the commotion he dislikes with a passion is safely up on the roof, far away from the living quarters and anywhere Bucky wants to be at anyways. He likes being by himself. Alone but not so lonely, wandering the seemingly never-ending hallways of the more than large building absentmindedly, until the never-ending hallways end and his absent mind decides whether to go left or right or straight ahead. Bucky’s discovered many things about the tower that way. Empty rooms that might’ve been discarded since the day the structure had been built, storage spaces, rooms with unused training machines and high windows that give a breathtaking view of the city Bucky calls home and also not.

He’s discovered many things on walks like these but, still, he’s nowhere near having discovered everything.

Tonight, he’s somewhere on the seventh floor.

He walks with the shadows dancing around him and tranquility following wherever he goes. Gaze lowered, his footfall is silent as a cat’s. Bucky knows his way around darkness like the back of his hand. After all, it’s where he’s spent most of his life. Out of sight. Surrounded by cold, calculated silence and darkness.

Left. Straightforward. Right. Right. Left.

The only source of light is the low gleaming neon emergency exit sign at the end of the hallway.

Right. Straightforward. Straightforward. Left.

That’s when he hears it.

Bucky stops in his tracks.

Furrowing his brows, he strains his ears, listens into the darkness. There’s nothing at first but then the sound’s back. It’s far away but if there’s one thing Bucky can rely on, it’s his hearing.

The brunet follows the sound, hearing it rise in volume with every step he takes and every corner he rounds. Delicate notes conjoined in a gentle melody wrap around him the closer he gets until they’re all he can hear and all he can feel, and he stands in front of a door that’s slightly ajar. There’s no light peaking through the slight crack.

Who on earth plays a piano without any light?

The melody still floats around his head and curiosity takes the better of him, prompting him to quietly push open the door.

Like countless other rooms in the building, this one has floor to ceiling windows. The city lights illuminate the room eerily and throw long shadows across the floor, but the view is something to die for.

Just like the person Bucky notices in the room next.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I can...”

“No, don’t apologize, I shouldn’t even have...”

His breath hitches in his throat when he recognizes her and he’d very much like to hit himself for the stupid, loud gasp that leaves him because it startles her and cuts of the beautiful melody. Y/N whirls around and looks at him with wide eyes while Bucky takes a step forward and raises his hands reassuringly. As soon as she recognizes him, she lets out a deep breath.

“Jesus, Buck, you almost just gave me a fucking heart attack.”

“Sorry, doll,” he smiles, sheepishly. “That wasn’t my intention.”

“What was your intention then?” she sounds amused and her heartbeat is still going a little too fast and Bucky’s thankful she doesn’t seem to think he was creeping on her or anything.  

“Definitely not scaring you,” he grins and takes a few tentative steps closer to where she sits at the piano. It’s the only thing in the room and for a split second, Bucky makes a mental note to ask Tony if he even knows that this room exists. “Did you walk here in the dark?”

She shakes her head and points at a flashlight lying next to her on the floor.

“Well, I hope you’re proud of yourself,” she says, “Usually, people don’t have an easy time sneaking up on me.”

“Jumpy?”

“Just very attentive. You wouldn’t stand a chance when my guard is up, Barnes.” Y/N looks up at him teasingly when he’s next to her and scoots a little to the side, making space for him on the piano stool. Bucky sits down and the stool creaks precariously under his weight. Y/N giggles softly at the skeptical look on his face. Bucky’s heart shoots to his throat at the sound.

“If it breaks, you’re buying a new one, beefy man.” She snakes her arm through his and pulls him a little closer. It’s a close fit, Bucky’s ass is half on the stool and half off but he can’t and would never want to complain about being so close to her.

“Did you just call me fat?” He feigns offense and feels his heart jump in his chest when she giggles again.

“No no no, you’re all muscle, sweetheart.” She says, a wide grin on her face as she squeezes his bicep teasingly. “I like it.”

“Really.” Bucky looks at her with a raised eyebrow and a lopsided, silly smirk on his face. “Well, aren’t you something sweet.”

On the outside, Bucky’s surprisingly calm. On the inside, however, he’s freaking out. Y/N’s so close and she’s calling him sweetheart and giggling like a literal angel and if Bucky doesn’t get up and run away right now, he’ll probably be stuck on her for all eternity. Not that he’d mind, but his heart can only take so many rejections.

Y/N’s only reply is a soft smile and she rests her head on his shoulder as silence settles once more. Bucky lets his eyes wander over the piano. She’s been playing mere seconds ago but what’s notably missing are the notes.

“How long have you been playing?”

“Since I was a child,” she replies, gently pressing down the keys while she talks. “I used to practice every day but now I only do it once in a while.”

“Why?”

“I guess I’m just too busy now. Being a nurse is more stressful than one would think.” She pauses for a moment and Bucky thinks she hesitates before continuing. “It’s not just physically, you know? Mentally, it’s no walk in the park either.”

She’s not looking at him, instead, she’s fixing her gaze on the black and white keys of the piano.

“I think you’re handling it amazingly,” he confesses, looking down at her.

Y/N chances a glance up at him, seemingly searching for something in his eyes. Perhaps she’s looking for a glint that reveals dishonesty, something that signals her that he’s making fun of her for being so weak. When she finds nothing, though, because why would Bucky be dishonest to her of all people, another sigh leaves her.

“Thanks.” Her reply is a faint whisper that he surely would’ve missed if his hearing wasn’t so advanced.

“You know,” he lifts his right hand to touch her arm that is linked with his left, “if you need someone to talk to... I just- I- I’m here if you need anything. I just want you to know that.”

All of a sudden, tears well up in her eyes. It catches Bucky off guard. It was supposed to be sweet but apparently, he’d said something wrong. He’s about to apologize but she cuts him off.

“God, Bucky, I know. I know... Thank you so much.” She buries her face in the crook of his neck and Bucky can feel her tears dripping hotly onto his skin. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t even be crying right now. It’s so stupid.”

Her sniffling and stifled sobs break his heart into millions of pieces. “It’s not stupid, Y/N.” He disentangles his arm from her to wrap it around her shoulders, voice urgent and leaving no room for protest. “It’s natural. Besides, I’m no one to judge, you know that. I’m a mess.”

“You’re one of the strongest people I know, Buck. If anyone’s a mess here, it’s me,” she says. “I mean, I feel guilty even being around you sometimes because all I want is to talk to you because I know you’d understand but it’d make me feel so fucking guilty. Unloading all that crap on you that literally sounds like a luxurious vacation compared to what you’ve been through.”

Y/N lifts her head to look at him and Bucky sees the streaks of tears on her cheeks. He can’t help but reach up and cup her face in his flesh palm, softly brushing over the skin of her cheek with his thumb. “Stop. You hear me? What happened in my past is the past. I’m not suffering anymore, thanks to everyone around here. You’re suffering right now. And I’ll be damned if I let my past stand in my way of helping you. Do you understand?”

She squeezes her eyes shut and Bucky feels her leaning into his touch. His heart skips another beat. “You know what else?” he says after a short pause. Y/N hums, opening her eyes to look at him questioningly. “You help me too,” he murmurs. “Just... you. I feel better when you’re around. You help a lot.”

A wet chuckle bubbles up Y/N’s throat and she lets her head fall forward, a wall of hair shielding her beautiful face from his eyes. She wraps her fingers around his right wrist and Bucky swears to all the Gods and the devil down below that he feels her lips pressing to the palm of his hand. “Charmer.”

“Nah, darlin’. Just bein’ honest.”

It’s in another moment of silence they spend in each other’s arms that he realizes something. “Hold on, is that why you said no to going out with me?” he asks tentatively, because it’s such a stupid thing to ask in a situation like this. Y/N’s cheeks blush in an adorable rosy color.

“I’m just not really doing this stuff right now. It’s not you, please believe me.”

Instead of answering, she shrugs in embarrassment. “Maybe.”

Bucky chuckles in disbelief. “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge for thinking I wouldn’t want to listen to you.”

“Can I pick?”

Quickly, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, before pulling her into a bone crushing hug.

Y/N squeals in surprise at both actions and laughs while wrapping her arms around his torso.

The city lights give the room and eery glow and large shadows wrap around them like a blanket. They’re in a room on the seventh floor in the Avengers Tower while everyone else is up on the roof partying but Bucky’s never been happier than with her in his arms.

And he doesn’t think that’ll change anytime soon.

[oswednesday]

some deepest lore

 their names wouldnt all be in english but You get it, you get whats going on here, my sona is the oldest but theyre all like the sameish decade bracket like any fck’d up religious family:

okay so there’s thursday who is of the buried and was def a part of the buried ritual, they/he, they managed to get out with some serious damage, most of his body is made of clay now, he still operates in the states, so he goes after his interest in earth sciences like geology rock growth but the pressure from the family causes him to turn directions and he ends up doing accounting business major stuff gets into doing loans specifically for student, his abilities are like applied pressure he can make something feel so dire like he could be like “give me that thing you’re holding” and you’ll feel like the weight of every possible consequence will come down on you, personality wise he’s probs kind of whiny like demanding and needy quick to throw ultimatums

friday i think would also still be in the states she works as like a bioethics doctor like she tells people to pull the plug on their loved ones in a coma and talks them down from life saving treatments due to Costs and Complications, she has a brittle matter of fact personality and hates Excessive noises, like the sounds of people breathing, her abilities like pull the grief out of people so the patients just rapidly deteriorate as the family or whoever refuses treatments, she usually picks someone young patients when she can and leaves a loved one or two out of her control for maximum impact to the nurses and the families

saturday belongs to the lightless flame, she’s in school to be a lawyer at like an ivy league school, she like belongs to a sorority of desolation devotees but she lives in the freshman dorms as an ra where she likes to report basically everything like if you even think of; sneaking a beer or a cigarette into you room save nothing of prescription meds or weed-- it is On Sight, your life is over age 18 she’ll make sure, she’s exceptionally joyless for a member of the desolation, preferring to start fights with like everyone over anything, a stray look? a tone she doesn’t like, her hands are ON you, it’s nice to have like someone like that around so the older members clean up her messes and shield her from consequences, her abilities havnt manifested into contact flames yet, but she makes any room she walks into stiflingly stuffy and is paranormally adept at making people snap at her and start the fight first, which of course gets them expelled and not her, despite being with the desolation she’s still involved with the family and will blow up her other siblings phones with family drama that most of them want no part of

sunday belongs to the hunt, he ran away as best he could in his teens and ended up with like a street dog gang, they end up ripping up homeless people and people who walk at night, squatting in those apartments that crop up meant for businesses that never move in; like those empty high end investment buildings that happen in america, the gang views what they do as cleaning up the streets, he’s very adamant about keeping the streets clean and he moreso than some of them , who get more caught up in hunt pack turf wars,he will chase down a vampire and other such Monsters in his spare time, he def views his birth family as monsters and would Not hesitate, he’s a Gun Enthusiast and whatever he has on him always manages to have a bullet in it, he’s obliviously self centered and completely not self reflective dogmatically,hes the youngest of the group

monday is of the dark, he/she/xey, he was blinded like while sunday was still living with them, it’s saturday who does it and she hasn’t been able to manifest flames like that again, but it had been like mutual rough housing), xey were the closest in the family to actually being what they wanted, like a devoted follower of the ceaseless watcher even after the accident xey still retained some of xeir abilities but like if someone put them on a dimmer, there’s a very dramatic stronghold storming and she gets kidnapped by an american branch of the people’s church, he’s like 15 at the time, (i think it’s a big deal that powers are a Thing for adults that’s so seldom a thing in media, so monday was like a child prodigy like completely atypical) and gets raised the rest of the way up under the dark who wins out his devotion, her powers wax and wane with the moon, when its close to being new she can turn into darkness like a shadow person and creep about unseen in the dark, when it’s full they’re aware of Knowledge of the dark, books that are manifestation of the dark, objects of dark power, people marked who would otherwise fall under the watchers gaze and they can snatch them away, they’re not at the ritual sight, their purpose is to be keeper of dark knowledge, other kidnapped marked people who can handle it end up as like library assistants and since the failed ritual they’ve been spreading the dark news through reading mail orders the kind that just turn up mysteriously to your house like a magazine you never subscribed to, they have an easy going personality all things considered, monday gets excited easily and can always find ways to entertain herself, she enjoys alone time so she might creep in the dark to avoid anyone but likes to sit and be by others when doing anything and is quick to seek like opinions and feedback, xey live in greenland

tuesday also ran away in his teens, unlike sunday, it’s pretty normal, he kept his grades good but not Too good so skirted being too noticed in either direction and had formed a friendship with a set of kids that got out before him, with their help and like an outside support network, he’s been working and living with groups of people with no real direction in a way that never really bothered him to much, he transitions into avatardom kinda, seemlessly, like he just goes to work, comes home, keeps going to work, becomes the work, he’s the manager of an All American fast food franchise, like the fundamental concept of that, a place you’ve never heard of pops up and accepts your application, workers at it just fuse with the friers and people who eat at it end up becoming the ingredients, there are other cogs in the meat machine, he makes sure every place is running smoothly like book balancing and all that practical boring stuff, it’s a living, this happens a bit after the flesh ritual fails, like he’s the second youngest of the group, he has a real checked out burnt out personality

[flyaway-33]

I’ll Take Care of You

Pairing: Roger x American Reader

Summary: Roger comes down with the stomach flu but insists on playing the show anyway, so you are tasked with dealing with him. All fluff with a very tiny bit of sexual innuendo. (Reader is American due to the nicknames she uses and for a little fluff detail)

Warnings: Vomiting, illness

Disclaimer: This is complete fiction and has absolutely no affiliation with any characters or content mentioned.

A/N: I’m very new to this site and have never written anything for Queen before so if anyone reads this, please please send me some feedback, I would love to hear what you think!

“Rog, honey, wake up. The boys are waiting for you to go to sound check!” You shook him gently, trying to wake him from the deep slumber he’d been in since you both went to bed earlier this morning around 5 am. It had been a long night in more ways than one but you had to get him up because the other members of the band couldn’t do sound check without him, especially Freddie, who’s throat was worn raw from the back to back shows they’d had all week. He relied on Roger to pick up the notes he couldn’t hit, which this late in the leg of a tour was most of them. 

Roger groaned, squeezing his eyes tighter and grimacing as his body curled into a fetal position. That is when you noticed the beads of sweat forming on his brow and that all the color had drained from his face. 

All of a sudden his eyes snapped open and he bolted toward the bathroom. You heard the painful retching and your heart sank, confused. He couldn’t possibly be that hungover, he’d only had a few drinks and he normally held his liquor well. You two had left the after party around 2 am which was relatively early, and had spent the rest of that time entertaining each other. 

You padded to the bathroom and knelt behind him, gathering his hair into your hand. You winced, feeling that it was already too late for his hair and you gently slid the hair tie off of your wrist and wound his mop into a messy pile at the back of his head. 

“You’re alright, Rog. Easy does it.” You cooed as you rubbed his back. He spit several times and then dragged the back of his hand across his mouth as he got to his feet. On shaking legs he made his way to the sink and splashed water on his face. He looked like something the cat had dragged in. “Are you okay?” You asked cautiously, joining him in front of the mirror. 

“I feel like hell.” He croaked weakly, fumbling around for his toothbrush. 

“Are you going to be able to play tonight?” 

He looked at you as though you had five heads. “I don’t have much of a choice now, do I? Queen can’t up and cancel a show because the drummer came down with a little bug.” He turned away from you, trying to focus on brushing his teeth but he gagged at the taste. 

“But honey, your role is physically demanding and you’re going to have to cover a lot for Freddie. I’m not so sure it’s a good idea, babe.”

“Didn’t you hear me? I don’t have a choice. You don’t think I can do it, do you?” You could hear in his voice that he was deeply offended. 

“Sorry to burst your bubble but quite frankly I’m not so sure if you can.” You crossed your arms over your chest in defiance.

“I’ll be fine.” He spat through gritted teeth. 

“Okay, babe,” you were used to arguing and you knew there was no point trying to convince him. “You need to at least let Crystal know so he isn’t caught by surprise when you’re extra whiny tonight.”

“I am not whiny!” 

“You’re whining!” You laughed flippantly and traipsed away back into the bedroom. “Take a shower, your hair is sticky. And hurry up!”

You set out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt for him for soundcheck and got yourself ready for the day, pulling your own hair up into a messy bun and throwing on one of Roger’s t-shirts from the last tour. You had stolen it from him and cut it into an edgy v-neck. You knew with your exposed collar bone and teasing hint of cleavage it drove him wild on you, and you hoped it might improve his mood even just for a bit. Even if you were hell bent on verbally teasing him and returning every bit of his sass, you knew the unspoken things were what counted. You two shared the love language of actions, not words. 

Roger came out of the bathroom ten minutes later looking like he wanted to curl up and die. He had the towel wrapped around his shoulders and he shuddered as he entered the chilly air of the bedroom. He was white as a ghost and he immediately sat down on the bed and leaned forward to hang his head in his hands. 

“Rog, honey, look at me,” you sighed, kneeling in front of him. You reached up and placed your hands on his cheeks, raising his head up out of his hands. Your worry spiked as you looked into his deep blue eyes, made more intense by his fever. “You’re burning up. Are sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.” He grunted straightening up and looking away. 

“We need to go we’re already 20 minutes late. The boys are going to be pissed.” You knew you had to let him do what he wanted no matter how much you worried. 

He nodded wordlessly and stood to get dressed, making sure to slip his favorite pair of prescription sunglasses over his eyes and his Marlboro Red jacket over the plain white t-shirt. Five minutes later you were holding on to Roger’s arm, walking out to the parking lot where the rest of the band stood at the bus, seething. 

“Oi mate! What the hell?” Brian shouted, approaching the two of you and meeting you half way. “Its half passed four! We were supposed to start sound check right now!” He got right up in front of Roger and, to your surprise, shoved him, hard. 

“Get the fuck off me!” Roger cried in alarm as he stumbled backward. 

“What the hell, Bri?!” You yelled, clinging to Roger’s arm for dear life to steady him. You knew he would normally fight back but he was weakened by his state.  

“Okay everyone calm down.” Freddie jogged over and grabbed Brian’s arm, spinning him around back toward the bus. “Fighting won’t help, let’s just go. Roger, are you alright?” 

“For fuck’s sake I didn’t push him that hard!” Brian growled as Freddie pushed him toward the bus. 

“I’m not asking him because of that, and if you weren’t so worked up over something so petty as being late to sound check you would see that something is obviously wrong with our dear drummer.”

“What?” Brian glanced over his shoulder. “Oh, he’s just hungover as usual.” He rolled his eyes, facing forward again. 

“I was in bed before any of you last night, for your information.” Roger seethed. “You can just ask Y/N, she was—“ 

“Do not finish that sentence.” You spat sharply, slapping his shoulder. 

“I think I’ve just come down with something,” he continued, “but it’s not a big deal. I can play the show and we’ll be fine.” 

“You bet your ass we’ll be fine.” Brian climbed in the bus first, leaving the rest of the boys and you to find seats far away from him. 

You sat on Roger’s lap for the short ride to the venue and leaned against his chest, feeling his warmth. He held on to you for comfort with his chin resting on your shoulder. “Babe, do you need anything before sound check?” You asked as the car pulled up at the back entrance. 

“Nah, I’m alright, doll. I’ll see ya when we’re done.” He leaned in and kissed your cheek and placed his hands on your hips to guide you off of his lap, then followed you out and went inside the venue with the boys. You spotted the roadies taking a smoke break a few yards away and jogged over to them. 

“Hey! How are you, girlie?” Chris “Crystal” Taylor, Roger’s personal roadie/assistant cheered, reaching up and smacking your messy bun playfully. 

“Hey, Crystal. Look I know Rog won’t tell you, so I will. He is sick as a dog right now and during the show I just need you to keep an eye on him.”

“Aw man, how sick?” He asked, tossing his cigarette butt to the ground and stepping on it. 

“He threw up this morning and won’t eat. He has to have a fever, too but I haven’t had the chance to find a thermometer and take his temperature. I’m just worried he’ll overexert himself tonight. He’s really not well.”

“Of course I’ll keep an eye out for him, it’s my job, and I won’t say anything to him. I know how he can get.” 

“Thanks, Chris.” You smiled and patted his shoulder in gratitude. 

Just then you heard the boom of the base from the venue and smiled. “I guess thats our cue.” 

You and the roadies hurried into the backstage area and watched from the wings. Freddie was fiddling with the piano, Brian was tuning his red special, and Deaky was strumming away a bass riff in his own little world. Roger was glowering at his drums as he loosened the snare and tested it. His sickly appearance was emphasized in the harsh stage lights. They’d barely started and he was already pouring sweat. He looked miserable. 

“Right then. Extra towels tonight.” Chris chuckled, noticing at the same time. “You’re right he looks dreadful.” Chris disappeared from your side and reappeared a minute later behind the drum riser, armed with a towel and a water bottle. 

Watching sound check was near torture for you seeing how miserable Roger looked, but he played as well as ever and everything sounded great. There were surprisingly no arguments, which was a near miracle, except for the fact that you knew the reason was that Roger didn’t have the energy to fight. Seconds after they’d called quits on soundcheck, he was no where to be found. Realizing this, you jogged around to the back hallway, frantically searching for where he may be. You nearly ran right into him as he exited the mens bathroom. 

“Roger! Oh I was worried—“

“Were you now? I’m fine, darling. No need to worry.” He caught you by the tops of your arms and squeezed your shoulders gently in reassurance. He gave a weak smile and you looked closely at him, examining his features and trying desperately to read him. 

“You threw up again, didn’t you.” You stated and his face fell. 

“Look it doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does, Rog. You’re sick and you’re not helping yourself.” You glared at him but felt guilty as you watched his expression change. He looked like he was going to cry and it made you uneasy. “Okay, fine, come on you need to rest and take a nap before the show.” You took his hand and started toward the dressing room. 

“I need a shower.” He groaned as you pulled him down onto one of the sofas. 

“You’re fine, babe, you’re only going to get sweaty again. Come here.” You pulled him to rest his head on your chest and laid back on the sofa with him, stroking his damp hair in attempt to soothe him. It took a few minutes but you eventually felt him relax into sleep. You continued to play with his hair as you watched him. It was insane how you had fallen so hard and fast for this man, and looking down at his thick eyelashes and perfect lips made you want to hold him forever. You were his American Girl and he was your Rockstar and your heart ached knowing how miserable he felt. 

You reminisced on the night the two of you had met and then first dated. you had met him in a bar in Nashville, not realizing that he was famous, and he had worked hard to charm you all night. He had seemed deeply disappointed when you turned down going back to his hotel room at closing time. “I dunno, hun, your chances might be better if you try the right way.” You teased him as you stood to leave, seeing the confusion in his eyes.

“Er, alright. Could I at least have your number, then?” He had looked up at you from his barstool with those enormous, pleading pools of blue and your heart had melted but you managed to keep your composure. 

“That’s a good boy.” You leaned down to peck him on the lips and slipped a folded piece of paper with your name and number written in your swirly handwriting, and he was smitten.

Your first date found the two of you on a drive to Centennial park late on a warm summer evening. You had packed a picnic dinner and Roger had picked you up in a rented Mercedes convertible. You had talked all night about your dreams and plans, and you were shocked to learn that this little British boy was a drummer in a world famous band. A band you yourself even knew of! You realized you had never paid attention to their looks, let alone expect to have been hitting on one of them in a seedy bar downtown. He seemed to appreciate that you weren’t easy and that you weren’t influenced by his fame, and he was oddly attracted to that. He hadn’t ever had a mind to those characteristics before meeting you. 

It was well into the night when he suggested just driving around, and you agreed. You showed him the best rock stations and the two of you had been discussing music tastes and favorites when the opening guitar riff of “American Girl” by Tom Petty began to blare through the speakers. “Oh this is my favorite song!” You had yelped, dialing the speakers up louder than necessary. Both of you sang along together and you basked in the uniqueness of his voice and how your own complimented it. When you had glanced up at him he had a goofy grin that showed you just how much fun he was having, and you felt the same way.

He’d been in Nashville for a week and you had seen him every day. When it came time to leave to continue the tour, he asked you to come.

“Y/N, I can’t bear the thought of never seeing you again.”

“You’ll see me, Rog I’m sure of it. People do long distance all the time.”

“Is that what you want? Long distance?”

“I mean what other option is there, just calling whatever this is a fling and moving on? Because I definitely do not want to do that.”

“Come with me.”

“What?”

“I mean it come with me. You’re my American Girl and I don’t want to go without you. I’ve never felt this way before about anyone.”

His confession melted your heart and you agreed on the spot. You were a drifter, out of university, and didn’t have a home or a job to return to. Your parents called you crazy, but you left with your rockstar anyway and never looked back. The rest was history and here you were taking care of him on tour just four months later and you had never been happier.

The boys barged in about 20 minutes after Roger had fallen asleep and you hissed angrily as they spilled into the room. “Boys!” You protested.

“Oh look at sleeping beauty here,” Freddie cooed. “Shall we give him a kiss to wake him?” 

“Couldn’t we leave him be for just a bit?” You whispered looking down at his sweet sleeping face, wishing you could pause this moment forever. 

Freddie looked at his watch. “Get him up in 20 minutes. We have to make him look presentable.”

“Okay.” You breathed, smiling at the feeling of Roger’s hair as you dragged your fingers through it. You were making him fluffy and you loved how sweet he looked. 

The boys tried to keep quiet as they moved about the dressing room, picking out their outfits and applying makeup and copious amounts of hairspray. 

Thirty minutes passed before Freddie glared at you and you realized you were ten minutes late waking Roger. You gently squeezed his shoulder and whispered his name until his eyes fluttered open. 

“Hey, honey. Feel better?”

He shook his head and frowned. “How long til showtime?” 

“An hour.” Freddie barked. “Warm up group is on in 10.”

“Shit.” Roger said getting off of you and hurrying to the clothing rack. “We gotta warm up, Fred.” He grumbled as he picked out his outfit. He decided on all white. 

You observed for the hour as the boys got themselves ready. Roger had nearly thrown a fit when he couldn’t find a set of drumsticks to warm up with, but he seemed much calmer when Chris found him a pair. Rog and Freddie had their near ritualistic screeching match to warm up their voices, and Roger tapped on everything in sight with his drumsticks as per usual. When it came time to go out, he looked expectantly at Chris who handed him his usual bottle of scotch. Roger poured two shots and stared at them nervously. You knew it was his good luck superstition to take two shots of scotch before the show but you could tell the thought of it made him nauseous. He closed his eyes and shot them down quickly. Gagging slightly much to everyone’s surprise. He’d never gagged on alcohol that any of them could remember. He shuddered and joined the boys as they filed out, twirling his drumsticks and getting into game mode. You followed them out and went with Chris to stand backstage behind the drum riser. He had laid out three water bottles and several towels for Roger and he looked rather tense as Roger finally made his way over after having a brief chat with one of the sound techs. 

Freddie’s voice boomed over the roar of the crowd to introduce the band and Roger climbed up onto his drum stool. You found a monitor slightly to the side of the riser, hidden in the back to sit on and perched yourself atop it with a perfect view of him. 

The first few songs went really well. And after the first two he signaled Chris for a water bottle and downed the entire thing in one go. 

Roger was playing excellently but he looked absolutely beat. You held your breath as he had to execute the flawless transition between Killer Queen and I’m in Love with My Car and sing the entire song. He was amazing, of course but you could just hear the strain in his voice, though you were certain it was only because you knew him so well. You watched as sweat poured down his face and he spat aggressively between lines. You had no idea why he the drummer had written such a drum heavy song that he was always to sing while drumming. It just blew your mind how talented he was. Nearing the end if the song you watched his expression change from frustration to panic and you were on the edge of your seat. As the song came to an end he hit the cymbals to signal the others of the end and immediately spun around on his stool and vomited off the back of the riser. Your heart broke for him and you went to go to him but one of the roadies caught your arm and held you back as Crystal rushed to him with a towel and another water. You watched him with tears in your eyes and he straightened up and dragged the towel down his face in exhaustion and with shaking hands took the top off the bottle and took tiny sips. “Atta boy, Rog.” You said to yourself, knowing the smaller sips would help. 

The whole ordeal was over in just seconds and he was back to facing the audience as if nothing had happened at all. As you looked out over the stage from your hidden perch you realized that the boys didn’t know what had just happened and were setting up for Love of My Life and ‘39, another physically demanding song. He had to stomp on the single bass drum and play the tambourine all while hitting his flawless falsetto. Luckily Love of My Life was first for transition purposes and was a little bit of a break for him as all he had to do was set up his drum.

He went to his mic stand next to Brian and appeared as if he hadn’t just been puking his guts out just moments ago. He put on an impressive poker face and sang his backing vocals so beautifully for Love of My Life it made you swoon. 

‘39 was your favorite song of theirs and you would normally get lost in the sound of Roger’s drum synched perfectly with Deaky’s bass and Brian’s 12 string, but tonight just the thought of watching Roger standing up front and center on the stage performing that difficult song made you feel sick. Brian strummed a little riff on his 12 string as a little transition then flashed a dazzling smile at the crowd to introduce the song, immediately immersing himself in it. You smiled when Roger did his signature “yeehaw!” You were able to relax as you listened to him start the bass beat in perfect time, and you closed your eyes to enjoy your favorite song. You couldn’t see much of the band from where you were anyway. 

Roger’s “woo!” At the end with Freddie’s “all right!” snapped you out of your trance and you smiled as Roger jogged back to the riser. He’s made it through the most difficult parts of the concert and everything was going well despite his backstage setback. The last few songs went by quickly and after the bows Rog came straight to you, exhaustion all over his face. You hopped off the monitor and reached out for him, bringing him into your arms. You sat back on the monitor and pulled him half onto your lap, cradling his head to your chest. He was soaked and burning hotter than you’d ever felt a person. “You did so well, babe.” Your voice was thick with pride as you rocked him gently out of instinct. 

He had his eyes closed and let out a great sight. “I told you I could do it.” He croaked. 

“I know, I know. And I’m glad you did.”

“Ugh whats that smell?” You heard Brian bark as the other three band members joined you backstage. 

“Uhh, Rog, did you do that?” Deaky asked, pointing toward the puddle of sick behind the riser. 

He opened his eyes and looked to see what Deaky was talking about. “Oh, yeah, I guess I did.” 

“When?” Freddie asked, concern laced in his voice. 

“Uhh, just after my car song I believe.” Roger chuckled nonchalantly. 

“Well shit.” Freddie laughed. “Go clean yourself up, darling. You need to rest.”

“You’re telling me.” Roger got to his feet and you could see him visibly shaking. You jumped up and grasped his arm to support him. You couldn’t believe he had just done a nearly two hour concert playing arguably the most demanding role in the band while he was barely able to walk. You were so proud of him but also so incredibly frustrated. You wished you could have done something to allow him to rest instead of play, but the band was his life and you knew he would never let Queen down as long as he lived. 

“We’re taking a bath and going straight to sleep. You need plenty of water and rest.”

“Too bad we have to be up at bloody 5 am to get on the bus.” He spat bitterly.

Part two

[littlethingwithfeathers]

Captain Marvel: Some Feedback

Spoiler free:  It's amazing, and the best nostalgia trip for anyone growing up during the 90s. I loved the characters and their relationships... especially between Carol and Maria. Goose is the cutest thing on four legs. And most importantly, it gave me hope for the MCU moving forward. If Carol ever makes it to Earth, Thanos is in so much trouble! Higher farther faster, baby!

Okay... spoilers behind the Keep Reading!

They did so many things right in this movie. It was big with a fairly sprawling cast and plot, but they still kept it tightly focused on Carol and her journey. Even for all its bombast and craziness (because comic book movie) it was very much a slice of the female experience. And to me what’s more important is that they didn’t overdo anything in terms of message.

Like... take for example her relationship with Yon-Rogg (Jude Law). There is something that feels... icky about it from the start, but it’s not overt. It’s not... obvious. It’s just this sort of background radiation to the beginning of the movie... His instruction for her to “master her emotions” reeks of other wing-clipping measures used against young women. Be calm. Don’t be emotional. Work hard.  So at the end when they face off, he tries to get her to fight the way he’d prefer, because he knows it hamstrings her. And by then she knows her true potential, so she doesn’t play his game. She blows him to kingdom come, locks him in his pod, and mails him home like the naughty boy he is. It’s one of the most cathartic moments  in the film, but what makes it so satisfying is its done without commentary. No one points out what he’s doing and has been doing all along. The story and their portrayals do the work. And that makes it even more effective... because since it isn’t overdone or pointed out prominently by another character, I think it will make people (mainly men) recognize it in reality more readily.

Another place that they got it so right was the relationship between Carol and Maria. Their friendship, a healthy female friendship that transcends separation and time, is so so so well done. They are a shining example of how women are not locked into only seeing each other as competition in a man’s world. Not when they can believe in and support each other. It’s Maria that convinces Carol that she really is a hero in spite of all that’s happened. And again... this is done with a poignant and beautifully shot and acted scene. No external commentary, because it’s not necessary.

I also loved that they included a torture-questioning scene and NOTHING about it was sexualized. She was fully clothed, not in a compromising position (well... hanging upside down is compromising but not like THAT). It was so refreshing. 

They let moments like this just... land. Just be and speak for themselves. And it’s the best thing they could have done, because anyone screaming “OMG FEMINAZI MOVIE” just sounds like a moron to anyone who’s seen it, and when they inevitably try to defend their opinion, they’re going to sound like whiny pissbabies.

Other things that made me screech with joy...

Goose stole the show. And the double act of Goose and Fury gave me LIFE.

The first post credit scene tore my heart out and stomped on it. I’m not ready for Endgame but I’m so ready for Endgame.

The 90′s soundtrack was everything I wanted. Also I loved all the frustrating old Windows computer bullshit. It aged me and made me so happy.

If I had to give any criticism, it’s that I would have liked more Coulson because I’m me and that’s always what I want more of. I also would have liked Ronan to play a bigger role. His inclusion seemed very... token. But his parting remark at the end makes me wonder if we might be getting a confrontation between him and Carol in another movie. If so, I’m fine with that setup. 

All in all... amazing movie and a fitting addition to the MCU canon. Don’t miss it.

[pinkpoundcake]

DESERT DEVIL

CH. 5  FROM THE MEADOW

All Might/ Reader as Female OC

NSFW AU

7K+ Words

Here we go! Finally. I had to pause and do quite a bit of research for this one. I’m pretty happy with the chapter, but I’ll go back and catch some mistakes later! I’ve been coloring in PS and typing  on GoogleDocs all day so my eyes are tired and won’t catch much. We’ll be taking off from here. I’ll warn that there’s no smut in this chapter, but you can anticipate some for the next. It was just out of place, sorry, lmao. 

I’m not sure of the next time I’ll be updating, but you can anticipate sometime next week. Thank you if you stop by! All Chapters are in my desert devil tag. 

I.

“You may not like this, but you all have to understand! It's for the best.”

The crowd erupted into irritated chatter and groans. This was one of those stressful downsides to using your quirk in this way. It would be easier for you to be the conduit for translation, if so many different kinds of minds weren't giving you so much feedback. Speaker, you, all the joined hands in the crowd. All the joined hands in the crowd, you, the speaker. So many different minds you had to help understand.

Your eyebrows tensed hard enough for muscles to spasm beneath your horns. You were bearing a lot of stress, and your main client, the mayor, hadn't picked up on that yet. His little, white paw was still clutched around your first two fingers while you kneeled down on the soap box next to him. Aizawa had taken your other hand, and then his other hand was linked to the next person. Like one big, unhappy pow-wow. Now, the Mayor, he was so eager to console his constituents, you didn't have the heart to tell him his time was almost up.

“How is that any fair?!” Your eyes were clamped closed. You recognized that voice, but you didn't have the head-space to pin a face. High and kind of whiny. That was probably one of the Inn keeper's daughters.

“The raised fee for violating curfew is incentive, my friends! For all of you to reconsider breaking this protective law. Two hours after sundown, we expect everyone to be locked up, or at least within the bounds of town!” Mayor Nezu responded in his usual chipper tone. His beady black eyes drifted over the crowd of grubby, exasperated faces.  

“A majority of these deaths were discovered far out of the edge of town, you see! And by the fees we've collected these long days and nights, some of you have not taken the previous encouragement seriously!” The Mayor spoke more sternly, though he was still smiling. “If you follow the law, you won't have to pay a hundred pieces, and you won't be ripped apart! How lovely is that!”

“So what are y'all gonna do with all of them extra coins, huh?!” You knew who that was without having to open your eyes. It was this young, plucky fella who always loitered outside the general store eyeing women patrons in their nicest dresses on Sundays. The purple gumdrop always liked to inform you that he didn't mind being around too tall fillies like you, and that always made you wonder where in the goddamn his mother and manners were.

“As always,” Mayor Nezu paused “these fees will be added to our tax well for railroad imports and provisions from Tucson. Public works projects, as well, that will improve our water storage for the future. The budget is always available for a gander at City Hall! I might look like a rat, but I'm no thief, ahahahaha!” You would laugh, too, if you could. He was easy to trust, but the Mayor was strange…

“Please, please, any other q-,” the Mayor blinked with surprise as you yanked your hand away and broke the chain. That was all you could handle. You needed a rest if you still had to hold Sheriff Todoroki's hand for the last portion of the itinerary.

Ah...well, alright. They were going to have a brief recess.

II.

The pounding in your head had subsided a portion. You were glad most folks were distracted with chattering amongst themselves in groups while they allowed you to rest up at the stone edge of the empty, town fountain. You were supposed to let Deputy Aizawa know when you were ready to translate again, which should probably be soon. You didn’t know what time it was, but you could feel the sun rising up higher over your head. It was nice for a little while, but now the bright beams were making your horns uncomfortably hot.

Off to your left, you sensed someone’s shadow sweep over. You thought they were someone in a passing group of gossip, but they stepped a little closer and draped something soft over your head. Your eyes ached, but you cracked one open to see who’d come to pester you. You already had an idea of who it was. “I didn’t think the sun was helping.” Yagi stabbed his cane in the dirt, and then sank down next to you. You heard distinct popping from the joints of his knees. He grunted his same, endearing grunt. This was his usual spot, wasn’t it?

“Thank you. It wasn’t.” You muttered. He understood you couldn’t sound as delighted to see him as you wanted. You sighed and brought his yellow shawl up higher to cover up your forehead and a portion of your eyes. It wasn’t medicine, but it felt and smelled nice.

“I don’t have too much time to talk.” “I understand.” Yagi crossed both of his big, rough palms over the handle of his cane, and then rested his chin over his knuckles. He leaned far and set his eyes on wads of familiar and unfamiliar people still discussing the first half of this morning’s meeting.

“Dove,” Yagi didn’t turn his head, but you could feel his eyes roll back in your direction “are you going to be alright?”

“After a few days of rest, I’ll be fine. I promise.” Yagi’s hands were beneath his chin, so you touched and rubbed his side instead to assure him. Maybe this was a little taboo, but no one was paying attention. He was resisting the urge to move closer. You’d never touched him before, not that he could remember. There was a wonderful heat and softness from your fingers that penetrated the thinned fabric of his shirt, and swept each scarred rib. He felt soothed ( oh yes, he was nervous) , but his intention was for him to comfort you, not the other way around.

“Togo.”

You, almost a little too hastily, tugged yourself from Yagi’s side. As if nothing strange had happened, you stood to your feet, and then gave the older fellow his shawl back. You didn’t know when Deputy Aizawa had approached, or how long the sneaky son of a gun had been standing there. By the look on his face, you could tell he had a certain amount of judgement and disbelief for the both of you. He didn’t have any comment, thankfully. Yagi wouldn’t look him in the eye. “I’m ready now.” You cleared your throat. Time to hold Mr. Boss-So-Roki’s hand.

III.

Ah, so you and I aren’t going to see eye to eye, boy?

It was a sick joke from a man who had no real eyes. Yagi had ripped them out from the sockets years prior when his heart was broken, and thirsty for revenge. He didn’t regret it. Men who didn’t respect this precious land didn’t deserve to ever take in its beauty.

“You smell like shit, you old fuck.” Yagi loathed to spit acid like a snake, but he deserved every shred of hate contained in his young body on that day.

The Gambler smelled like what he was made of: dirty money and brimstone and mosquito water.

What a nasty bark, you dog!

You look out of sorts, pup. Could it be that arrow you still have there? Here...let me help you pull that out.  

He had liked where Yagi was. Leg mangled. Curled up on the side of the trail like road kill. The vultures were waiting; circling the sun like the grim reaper spun his scythe. That’s what the boy was after all! An animal pretending to be a righteous man.

“DON’T YOU PUT YOUR FILTHY HANDS ON ME.”

And then Yagi was screaming in agony. The Gambler pulled the arrow out nice’n slow, making sure to twist and turn the carved bone of the head into the most sensitive, spewn places. He didn’t like all the mess on his new, priceless equipment, so he found it proper to smear the blood off on Yagi’s already red, enraged face.

Shut up.

Listen very well, dog. Maybe your body can’t die here, but I hope this lesson breaks your spirit like you broke all of my bones.  In stature, it was certain that The Gambler had never healed right. His body was twisted and gnarled like the lichon.  

Yagi did what he had to do after the whole gruesome ordeal was over. He never, ever wanted to kill another man of his own will after that day.   Uh huh…

So, did his spirit ever heal right?

It hurt his heart to try and answer.

IV.

He hated to dream. They weren’t fair. You were supposed to be able to alter your dreams; be whatever you want and do whatever you want. These were all memories he couldn’t do a thing to change. Perhaps he should have been grateful he woke up still clean, and in his own bed this morning. But at what cost…

He needed to stop thinking about it. Yagi had roped up Bell wrong for the second time since he started packing. He rubbed his mule’s neck and she affectionately bumped him on the shoulder with her nose. He didn’t like bringing her so far out from home, because she was his friend, but he had things he had to do as usual. He was going to meet you after he had his student come to watch his property for the two or three weeks you’d be gone. You needed to arrange your own trustworthy house sitter before you both began your long journey.

Yagi had been worried about you the days after the meeting, more than he should have been worried for himself. There was a lot now to consider. He was well aware that you were both lying to each other by omission. You wanted him to track the Devil. If you hadn’t taken the belt buckle back, he probably would have forgotten not to put it on. He hadn’t told you where you were both going for his part of the deal, either, or why he needed you to read. He had advised you on what to pack, and how long you’d be gone, and you just followed the instruction without question.

Did you really trust him that much? You were both traveling alone. In secret. You were lucky law enforcement only patrolled for law breakers, and didn’t go door to door every night. They couldn’t pay enough for all of that.

When he was finally able to meet you, the crown of the sun was starting to peek over the hard, flat line of the horizon. The sky was split in soft streaks of pink and orange. Pretty. There was no wind for haze. The air was still and cool. If only it could stay like this.

“Are you sure you have everything?” Yagi asked you while fixing the girth that strapped his mule to his small, travel cart. He came up to her mouth and made sure the secures there weren’t too tight. She made a quiet, but shrill sound through her nostrils. “I know you don’t like the bit. Be quiet.” The scolding was affectionate and punctuated with a kiss on her nose.

“Yes, and Kissy’s the same way. I think he tolerates it.” He wasn’t raised for riding, but he handled it well enough. Besides, he was the only horse you had.

You were sure you had all you needed. You had rolled up some provisions and plenty of water into your BaBa’s old saddle bags. You really hoped with your combined items, it was all enough. Traveling made you excited and nervous. You hadn’t been outside of town in years. You both had terrible timing, and would probably be in a heap of trouble for giving no notice of leave when you got back. Still, a potentially dangerous journey. And you’d both be alone.

“They all tolerate a lot.” Yagi shrugged his shoulders and sat up on the seat of his cart. “Let’s get moving, quickly!” He boisterously  thumped his closed fist over his chest since neither of you had a rally drum or trumpet.

You wondered if the Devil would lurk the canyon. The thought of you both running into him in the dead of night, or the beast ravaging your camp made your heart jump up somewhere in your gullet.  Yagi must have understood that risk, and he was still taking you to read whatever it was he wanted you to read. You could in fact translate language if you could touch the surface, but it’d been a long while since you’d done so. Most things of importance were printed in English, and a lot of folks couldn’t read no how, so they didn’t bother you.

“Yagi, do you mind telling me where we’re going?” You asked him after mounting. He took off his big brimmed vaquero hat and flipped it upside down. You could see some of your own wool stuck beneath the cap, but what interested you the most was what was embroidered to the underside: a map of the entire valley. Some parts of the thread were old and dirty, but other portions still retained the vibrancy of being freshly stabbed through. You were a little mystified.

”Up north east.” You expected Yagi to produce a compass, but he didn’t. He knew exactly where to go. He’d never been lost before.

“You’ll see, Dove. I won’t lead you astray.” He made a little beat on his chest again and grinned.

“Well...alright. I’m trusting you, sir.” You squeezed Kissy with your heels.

Yee haw! You were both off.

V.

Yagi was puffing out smoke and steam through his nose at the sight of you. His heart was a rumbling, rolling train and he hadn’t finished pounding in all the tracks.  The sun was setting in the distance. Vibrant hues from that sweet goodbye highlighted every plump curve of your naked body. When you turned in the water’s edge and brought your toned arms up above your head, your outlines rippled and writhed in a fog. You shook out your tail like a tambourine, and glistening droplets whipped around your figure.

His dry tongue lolled from the corner of his mouth. Clamoring on all fours, he was clawing the dirt and sand to make it to your mirage. You smiled at him with all your front teeth, and your pretty eyes, and then beckoned him closer with your long fingers. You were emerging from the pool; prowling to meet him halfway. Everywhere your hands and knees touched turned a luscious green.

Almost there… Come here, Come into me, Yagi.

The sun fully disappeared behind the mountains, and the storm clouds swarmed. He was stabbed with daggers of lightning. His big body and hands were all over your soft, fuzzy hide in a monstrous flash. He was pulling your legs apart because now he was long and strong for you. You clamped his waist, clawed his back, and called him by his real name while he was pumping his piston. With his rain and wind and thunder, and your good green earth, he had you. That's right, with your back down in paradise.

Just like he promised.

VI.

“UGH,” Yagi rubbed the faint cut left behind on his forehead. It stung. He had woke with a jolt and hit the side of the rocky perch he’d chosen for the night. You didn’t have a tent, so he let you have his to yourself. A woman, ugh...ow...needed her privacy. He smeared pebbled and already clotting blood on his sleeve. He hadn’t changed his stance on his own dreams.

He was glad you were paces away. It had to be that way. His excuse this time, was that he needed to be a look out for raiders and bandits. That was one thing, but really, he didn’t know when his body was going to change. Dangerous games. Dangerous thoughts. Dangerous dreams. Yagi glanced down at the personal tent pitched in his trousers. Uh...no, he wouldn’t have wanted you to see him like this.

He’d wait to calm down, water the horse and mule, and then wake you. You’d both been traveling for three days, and you had two days of long, hot, dry, travel left.

VII.

When you both finally made it to your destination, the sun was preparing to rise. Yagi was adamant about wanting to push through the night. You had taken such a long break in the afternoon, that it bled into the evening. You had wanted to go back to sleep so badly. You almost fell off of Kissy’s back twice. Yagi, while flustered and spooked, offered to change his mind on the urgency, but you told him it was alright. You just needed to wake up and put up. You were both on a tight schedule.

The clouds were rolling overhead and you wondered (hoped) that they would block the sun or consider banding together for some traveling rain, but they didn't. The trip had gone relatively pain free, it almost made you paranoid. You had to suffer somewhere, and you hoped the continued drought was it.

“Not too much further,” Yagi pushed up his hat and revealed a smile that gave the rising sun a run for its money. For a man who hadn't been sleeping much, he seemed awfully chipper. Dear lady, you had no idea how full of nostalgia he was. The familiar change in terrain gifted him fond and not so fond memories.

“Is that…” you covered a yawn “is that it?” You squinted through the sleepy tears in the corners of your eyes. In the morning haze, you could pick out blocky structures built into the side of a rock face. At another gander, you noticed some fencing holding in several huddled, sheared sheep. Thatched houses peppered the land on the other side of livestock pens and dry, unharvested crops . It didn’t look like a big, busy town, but it was certainly a settlement. It wasn’t too far off from the murky edges of the Colorado River, and the sight of that provided you even more relief. You didn’t know if you had enough water on hand to make it back to Struggler.

“This is it.” Yagi whipped the reins in his excitement and urged his mule on. She wheezed and groaned with some protest, but picked up her pace. You clicked your tongue and bumped Kissy with your heal so he could match speed. You were both kicking up a trail of dust behind you. Being somewhere new made you nervous, but the energy Yagi radiated made you feel more sure. He had his smile on full beam, belting out something incomprehensible at the top of his lungs with your mounts’ hoof-beats. That almost made you pull your draft to a hard halt. Nothing was wrong. No one was coming after the both of you, and he certainly wasn’t hurt. He was going to see his old friend again.

VIII.

There were plenty of times in your life where you felt a little out of sorts. You didn’t feel awkward exactly, just a touch shy. There was a small crowd gathering around Yagi as some reservation dwellers came to properly greet him, or see what the commotion was about. Some natives looked a little on edge, or as unsure as you did, but then the older fellow Yagi was so focused on, finished greeting the sunrise, and then approached. You figured he was probably somewhat in charge, because everyone politely made way for him, or minded themselves and went back to their early tasks. “Aa,” he was grinning from ear to ear just like Yagi was “how are you, my friend? This is a surprise!”

“I’m...well.” Yagi rubbed his neck, and then removed his hat to return the politeness.

“You made quite some noise on the way here! We were worried about a bandits,” the older man’s eyes were wrinkling around the tanned, weathered corners. He was very tall, though not nearly as tall as Yagi, and wore working clothes like the cowboys who traveled far yonder from Texas. You were amazed at the length of his graying hair. It fell behind him in a long cord, and was wrapped up in a braid with bright, crossing threads. He had a lovely, boxy, woven pattern in his shawl that you couldn’t help but eye up, too. Following the loop of his cover, there was a long scar that crossed his neck, and zig zagged down until it was hidden beneath the collar of his shirt. You knew better than to rubber neck that. Didn’t want to be rude.

You felt him sense your wondering eyes, and take a reserved look at you after allowing Yagi to exchange a bow. You were trying and failing to hide behind your big horse. His friend from another land had no one else for company, just you. His bushy brows rose. You assumed your appearance probably surprised, or tickled him. You were used to that, but he was actually assuming something else.

“Aa, this is your wife, Yagi?”

“No, no!” Yagi awkwardly laughed. “This is…” He trailed, trying to think of something that didn’t sound quite as suspicious. “My friend. I brought her here to translate something, if your clan will allow it. We won’t stay for too long, I promise.”

The fellow’s jaw slackened. He brought his hand to his chin. He looked between Yagi, who was anticipating an answer, and then you who were waiting for the same. You came all this way. You hoped that you wouldn’t get turned away and the journey would be for nothing. Whatever Yagi wanted you to read must have been important, or private, if you had to formally ask permission.

“You want to see the old messages? Don’t you?” The other man hummed.

“Yes, I...think it will help me understand.” Yagi had lowered his voice without meaning to.

“Understand what?” You cleared your throat. They were both looking at each other like there was some kind of secret afoot. If you were translating, you were going to know eventually, right? Yagi’s friend frowned at him. This young woman didn’t know? It wasn’t his place to tell you either. It was his request to offer a yes, or a no. “I’m looking to know a little more about this land’s past,” Yagi dug his cane into sand between the toes of his boots. He leaned on it a little, and then brought his still carted mule in closer with his other hand. “There’s some very old language here that a lot of Mustang’s family can’t completely read anymore. His family has been here for quite some time, many many many years,” he had turned his head in your direction while he dropped you this hint “so I’m hoping to find some warnings or helpful superstitions.”

Ah! Now you understood...sort of.  You wondered what Yagi’s interest in the past was, apart from solving the mystery of the Devil, but you didn’t know him well enough to poke and prod that business just yet. Yet. It did make sense, though. More sense than what you were reading. The Devil roamed this land in particular. Should probably consult who’d been here the longest.

“You’re a scholar, young ma’am?” Mustang asked while directing you both to come into the shade and relieve your mounts. By appearances, he wouldn’t have pegged you for someone familiar with his ancient heritage, but then again, when he’d met Yagi, he was quite skeptical of what a stranger would know, too.

“No, sir, it’s my Gift. I can translate speaking and writing if I touch or focus.” You held up your palm to illustrate. His eyes lit up and he clapped his hands once, then twice.

“You’re both blessed with two gifts, then!” Mustang was smiling again. “If you can understand, we will need to accompany you to record. We would like to remember the past, and hopefully our friend here will find what he’s looking for.” Hearing about your gift looked like it was truly a delight, and that made you feel pretty damn special.

“Oh, of course, I don’t mind. I’d be happy to help as long as I get time to rest.” You were trying to wrap your head around something, but Mustang was ushering you both along to where you and Yagi could set up your tent and tether your animals. He trusted Yagi heavily, so he trusted you, if Yagi also considered you a friend in such a sensitive affair. He was already talking about giving word to his family and friends to prepare a hardy meal for Yagi’s return, and then some other things you didn’t quite catch.

You slipped back into your shy sort of self while the two fellows talked on middle ground. You were unloading some items from the saddle bags, and then in the next moment, Yagi was ushered off somewhere else. You got Kissy and Bell somewhere comfortable and in the shade at a stable near to your allotted portion of the settlement. You were thinking about how...different Yagi seemed here while you were watching from afar. He towered over their hosts, readily available to offer his help, or carry things to and fro, even on his bad leg. He cracked jokes with them, and his smile had yet to really let up. He was louder, more open, though he still minded his manners. You were almost a little envious, but you understood. Yagi and Mustang, and some of his siblings have probably known him for years. You wanted to know him like that, too, but for now, you liked that he called you his friend.

After a while of settling, they were picking out sheep for a meal in the dry wood pen paces over. They did ask you if you minded, which you found a little funny. No one here had an appearance Gift that covered their whole body quite like you, so it was the first thing anyone noticed.

Uh, sheep...lamb. You’d never had it before, and didn’t want to try. So, they offered steer, but you had to decline that, too. It just felt weird. Like unofficial cannibalism even though you only looked like an animal. “My father is a bull, and my mother is an alpaca.” You used your other gift to join hands and inform your hosts before you and Yagi had split.

You got plenty of requests to touch your hair. You were used to that, too. You came out of some of your shyness to allow some touches. It was so white, they said, whiter than bones. And soft without needing to wash it so many times. Did you shear it? Well, of course you did. It grew too fast not to. Do you trade it?  Absolutely, let’s bargain.

You spurred an impromptu trading crowd without meaning to. Everyone watched in wonder as you cut off a cottony wad with your pocket knife, and a new patch of wool readily grew in its place. You had bread, and ground corn, and beads, and one young fellow who was very keen about you staying here with him if you were looking for a partner. You remembered you brought some melons full of seeds along, so you topped off that flurry with a big, beautifully loomed blanket on your arm.

When Yagi found you again, he was trying to hide a laugh behind his hand. There you were at your tent, corralling all of your new treasures and spoils. You were a tradeswoman anywhere, weren’t you?

IX.

“Yagi?” The world was dark and silent. It was hard to sleep while you were so far from your cot back at home. The canvas edges of your borrowed tent quivered with the rustle of the wind. It was kind of cold, so you were glad you had your new blanket, and some of the blankets that Yagi had given you. You did that idiot thing were you didn’t bring your own. You were afraid of losing, or messing one up. Every blanket you had was special. Even your new one.

“Yagi?” You whispered again. You could barely see his dark outline on the other side of the thick fabric. He didn’t snore, so you could never tell when he had gone to sleep.

“Yagi?” You tried one more time. Maybe he was asleep? Better not bother him. But finally he stirred. He rolled over to his other side in the dark, and then poked his head through the opening. He looked exhausted in the eyes, and full by the temporary pudge in his belly. “Are you alright?” Yagi mumbled.

You were okay, just stressed in a certain kinda way. And paranoid. You lied awake with your heart heavy with anxiousness waiting to hear it; the hiss… “I..Would you…” You stammered, heart picking up a beat now that you actually had to ask your question. “Do you think it’d be alright if you were here? If you stayed in here with me?”

Your question woke him. You could see his eyes had brightened. He held that expression while he considered his answer. There were plenty of reasons for him to decline, but oh...you were making that worried little face. He knew you were hoping that he’d say yes, so he did, and dragged the rest of himself inside. He stretched out long legs that barely fit on the inside and rested somewhere on the other side of you.

“Thank you.” You couldn’t ask him to move any closer, though you really, really wanted him to. You wanted his pleasant scent fresh and not just wafting your nose from his blankets. And you wanted him to wrap his arms around you and maybe pat you over the head right between the horns like he did from time to time. Oh good glory, would you listen to yourself? Go the hell to sleep.

X.

Should you be touching this? It felt like you shouldn’t have been touching this. The rock surface Mustang had lead you to on horseback was high up. It took you a quarter hour to climb, and another quarter to catch your breath. Yagi had to climb after you with his head craned to the side so he wouldn’t be looking up your bare legs while your clothes were tied out of the way.You were glad the goat in you didn’t mind, otherwise this traverse would be difficult.

You were expecting writing, but you could read the cluster of rock carvings just fine. You squinted while activating your Gift. Things didn’t come together right away. It’d been so long since you’d used it this way. After another try, you finally started to understand.

A majority of the drawings and glyphs were just entrees. A documentation of the days passed. On this day, the men on horseback arrived. On this day we left to travel elsewhere. On this day the canyon was taken with floods. It wasn’t what Yagi was looking for, but Mustang was recording everything on some dried skin as you moved along.

And then, as the carvings grew older, you read out some stories. You could feel a headache brewing behind your eyes, but by now the intrigue had struck you harder, and you wanted to press on and know more.

The spider woman who taught the weaving. This one was hard to read, it was overlapped with other carvings, but Mustang told you that he was already very familiar with the tale.

The warrior with the heart of a bear. He was drawn robustly with his club leading his people to victory in a battle.

The winding serpent that made the river. It slithered and slunk down the entire length of the race face, splitting into other stories and recordings.

The story of good the meadow where the soil was fair and water plenty.

The Oasis on the other side of the sun, and her warrior protector. To you this one read the same, but it felt important. There was a buzz in your fingertips and the cogwheels in your thick skull got to turning.

You’d stopped relying the info without knowing, too. You had gone silent as the symbols stacked in your mind and made a structured narrative before your eyes. The Oasis’ protector became something beyond being a man, chasing off imps on horseback swinging their knives and  shooting their guns and bringing their greed. The spirit of mother earth entered the crown of his head and made him undying. And when his job was done, and he had to leave to return to the other world, the will of the earth entered the heart of a worthy someone else, and it would be that way for forever and ever.

“Dove?” Yagi touched your shoulder. You grabbed on to him to keep from falling over and hitting your head. You blinked a few times to call yourself back to this realm. Both men were staring at you with concern in their eyes.

“You said you wanted to know something about the land? This,” you let go of the hold on your Gift so you could actually think and respond. “This one talks about the Oasis.”

XI.

“I’m glad that you’re all doing well. Very glad.” The flickering light from the dying fire fluttered over the contours of Yagi’s face. He rubbed the bags beneath his eyes, and then rubbed the skin of his arm. It was faint, but he could feel the itch and tingle; the urge to be his other self. He should have been asleep, but he couldn’t. He had even more to think about now.

“It’s because of you, you know.” Mustang took his seat with the grunt of a grouchy old man, though he held none of that in him. “If you had not come for us, we would have had to leave. We’re always going to be grateful. But now, what about you? You don’t look like you’ve been well, Friend.”

“I haven’t healed.” Yagi thumbed through his book. He’d copied what Mustang had scribbled from your readings in his own personal book; one of the ones he kept hidden beneath his bed. It was all in Japanese, since his English on paper still wasn’t the best. He’d been reading it over and over again since you returned to the settlement. It was too dark to read it now, even with the stars out.

“It doesn’t look like you have. How is your leg? And your chest?” Mustang placed his hand on his belly.

“I need to use a cane most days. Sometimes I spit up blood, but I’m still living, and that’s all I can ask for. I tend to horses’ feet now. I’m no longer in the mines.” Yagi tucked his book away in his shawl.

“Is it…?” Mustang’s eyes hastily darted over to where you were supposedly sleeping. Your eyes were closed, and your full lips gently parted with your gentle breathing. You wrapped yourself up in your new blanket, and the young weaver you bought it from couldn’t have been more flattered by how much you adored it.

“I always thought that you would have your own clan, Tall One. Young women always liked you.” He lifted his arm and flexed it as he reminisced on the old days when they were chasing off blue coats.

Yagi huffed through his nose, and then dryly laughed. “So did I, but time’s gotten away from me.” His eyes fell on you briefly. He was already asking a lot from you. The last thing on his mind was courting (even though it was absolutely one of the first things on his mind). He couldn’t let himself fall prey to whims.

“It’s not too late to not be lonely.” Mustang shook his head. “You might want to, before a younger man with more horses and more silver comes along to bargain for her hand. I can see that you like her. Your eyes are very bad at hiding your spirit.”

Yagi scrunched his nose and screwed up his expression. “I would like to, but I don’t want to hurt her. Mustang...I must tell you something.” He relaxed his face and turned on the log he sat on to properly look his old friend in the eye. There was a heaviness that settled in the pit of his chest.

Mustang held up his hand. “I’ve heard of the Desert Walker from the traders.” His brows were drawn up tight. The bags beneath his eyes were rimmed in red as the fire was on its last log. “The Desert Dweller. Desert Devil. Canyon Demon. Valley Eater. I’ve heard many, many names. We can speak of it, but there’s something else much more important that I must tell you.”

Much more important than his murdering spree?

“Toshinori,” Mustang drew in a breath “I am glad, and grieved that you’re here, because now I must tell you something I know you don’t want to hear.”

“What..what is it?” Yagi’s feet were cold in his boots. Coldness had settled over his forehead and shoulders. The muscles in all of his limbs were crawling and twitching with sheer instinct.

“You know how we’ve struggled here. How we’ve had to fight. How we almost had nothing.” Mustang bit the inside of his cheek. His bottom lip wrinkled and puckered as this news left a foul taste in his mouth and nostrils.  

“Yes, I know.” They’d accepted him. His master had accepted him when he came to this side of the world with nothing but his nose, and the will to work.

“They want to bring the railroad through here. They don’t ask, they just take and assume you’ll show your belly. I smelled something in the air one day, and then a ghost appeared to me early in the morning bring in all of his evil.”

No…

No, it couldn’t be.

“I saw him die, Toshinori. I saw you slay him with my own two eyes, and the eyes I keep behind me.” He touched the closed lids hidden deep beneath his hair with his palm. “But I saw him again, and he made me my family an offer that tempted and troubled me.”

Yagi couldn’t respond if he wanted. His jaw was tensed so tightly that his temple twitched and his teeth ached. All of his tanned knuckles were white.

“He’s like a twisted root. No right arm, and walks with a cane just like you do, friend. He has money like these white men now, they think he’s one of them. He offered my family supplies, and protection if I allowed him to rip this land apart. I refused, and he simply took his leave. I think this troubles me the most.”

You had been awake and listening for a while now. You fought your instinct to adjust your position, but you remained still and kept your breathing slow. You were glad you didn’t snore. That would have been hard to fake. What were they talking about? Or rather, who?

Yagi took deep breaths through his flared nostrils. Just the mention of Him set his blood on fire. His stench wasn’t in the air tonight, but it was burned into his most vivid memories. Dirty money, and brimstone, and worm water, and rotting. A thief, a cheater, a liar, and a gambler. The real demon of the desert had no heart, and no real eyes, and he thought he could own anything like he boasted he could own anything, anyone, and any Gift.

“Perhaps, old friend, there’s still work to be done.”

He still had a promise to keep. To do what this world asks of him in return. And then maybe, just maybe he could keep the promise he made to you.

“I think...I think so.” Yagi rubbed the writhing out of his arms and the prickle from the pores of his scalp. He had to try and hold it in, but he was angry. After all the blood and guts, and the skin of his teeth; putting his body on the line. Adaka’i was still carrying on his business.

And Yagi wondered what business it was. Somewhere in the desert…

XII.

The fire was gone.The world was dark and quiet again on the other side of your closed eyes. There were no hushed voices to listen to, just a bunch of sheep who should have been sleeping, too. So, you crawled back on the inside of Yagi’s tent to dream before you had to head back to Struggler tomorrow. Your head was so heavy and tired. Tired from growing all of that wool, tired from showing off the shapes you could make with your horns, tired from doing all of that reading, tired from doing all of that thinking.

Could you really call this dreaming, though? This was just shameless hoping and wishing. You still wanted Yagi to hold you, and pat your head, and tell you that you were silly. He wasn’t far from where you were, not physically. He came to rest beside you in the tent after Mustang and his little wife had wished him goodnight.

You hoped and wished that he’d bring you up to his chest and let you sleep with your faces close. You hoped and wished that he’d fancy giving you a kiss, too. And you hoped and wished he’d kiss you in places the Devil kissed you. Your body opened your eyes for you before you could get too carried away in that distant land. You were greeted with the dark, and the slow rise and fall of Yagi’s long, bony side.

The Devil...whoever he really was. You wondered if he was looking for you, or if you should even be thinking of him. What were you supposed to think of him? A lover? A monster? A murderer? A demon to sit on your chest? Or a vengeful spirit? You couldn’t have them both, and one stallion was stronger than the other, you knew that for sure. If you were with Yagi, would the Devil finish the job? You just didn’t know. You shouldn’t have been thinking about it now. You were just making your headache worse.

Or maybe you should have. You read for Yagi, sweet, handsome, Yagi, and now it was his part of the bargain.

Without thinking (you were good at that), you pushed yourself up from where you lay and crawled over to Yagi. His breathing changed, so you knew he was awake, but he didn’t move. You were holding your breath as you relocated yourself up against his back. Your cheek pressed against his shoulder. It was kind of hard, like you were expecting, but he was warm and he always smelled crisp. You were almost blue, expecting him to turn over and ask you what you were doing at any moment, but he still didn’t move.

You felt him relax. He was asleep again, and so were you curled up close like a house cat behind him.

[dawnofaqua]

Lucky Charm

I decided to try and write something about Roy and Danny for the first time! I hope you guys will like it, I’m unsure as usual but at this point it shouldn’t be a surprise lmao. Feedback is always appreciated! I thought that with Danny’s hand broken, Roy couldn’t stay away for too long.

“Willow….”

Danny’s voice was a childish whine as soon as Roy picked up the call. He was used to that sound; he used that tone everytime he wanted to complain about something, and Roy never really minded it. It was charming in its own peculiar way, like anything Danny did.

“What is it, what did you do this time? Did you manage to snatch your own wig again?”

He just sighed, a smile on his lips while he relaxed on his bed. Even if he joked about Danny’s clumsiness, he was happy to hear him: they didn’t have time to be together in the last few weeks, between the other man’s tour in Australia and his departure to New York exactly the day Danny finally came home. He missed him, he missed being able to hold him while they were together and hear his voice sleepy and tired when he was going to fall asleep in his arms. The phone calls, right now, were the only thing they had to feel at least a little less nostalgic.

Danny whined again, which made Roy laugh a bit. It was like hearing a little puppy complaining because he wasn’t getting enough cuddles - it was so cute he almost felt his heart melt in his chest.

“Don’t make fun of me, it’s not my fault it got stuck in my top!”

Even if he couldn’t see him, Roy could imagine how Danny was now stomping his feet on the bed, and the thought made his smile grow wider. He didn’t have time to ask anything else, though, because Danny kept going.

“And no, it’s more serious than that. I got hurt!”

Roy’s smile immediately vanished, and it took him few seconds to really realize what Danny said to him. He got up from his position, worried; yes, Danny was clumsy, but not at the point of getting hurt. He tried to stay calm, since he still didn’t know how bad it was - and Danny was always dramatic, so maybe he just meant he cut his hand while cooking or something like that.

“What happened?”

“Haven’t you checked Instagram at all?”

Danny’s voice sounded quite offended, which made Roy only confused. He didn’t really have the time, actually: he posted about his book, his appearance on Drag Race, the few things he was doing in New York… but he didn’t really check anything else. He didn’t have the time.

Since Roy wasn’t answering, Danny snorted and kept talking.

“I hurt my knee on my last show. And I broke part of my hand last night… and I lost my phone. This one is my cousin’s.”

Few seconds of silence followed that discovery. Roy’s heart wasn’t melting anymore at that point, it was hurting, especially knowing he was miles away from Danny. The latter was complaining about everything that happened to him, but to Roy he wasn’t serious enough about them. He sounded like a child that had seen his brother taking his toys from him instead of a person that was clearly hurt and needed someone to take care of him.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? You idiot, what did you do?”

Roy’s voice was higher than usual: he was mad, at Danny for not telling him everything immediately and to himself for not checking his partner’s Instagram, since he seemed to post even when he had to pee on that damn thing.

What made him even more angry was that they were together, and even if they weren’t a couple, Roy was used to Danny telling him everything about his day everytime they had time to catch up. Now that they were a couple, he thought that wouldn’t change at all, or that they would talk even more about everything.

Once Danny heard the concern and the anger in Roy’s voice, his voice lost the whiny note it had before.

“I just- it’s nothing, really, I’m just an idiot as usual. Please, don’t be mad?”

Roy sighed, massaging one of his temple: there was no need to lose his temper, especially not when they were talking on the phone. It still hurt that he didn’t know anything until now, but that wasn’t the most urgent issue for him.

“I’m not mad. I’m sorry, I’m just worried. Are you okay?”

“I guess. I have a cast and I’m getting out of the house just to work.”

“Are you alone?”

“My cousin’s here. He’s taking care of me.”

Roy took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. It wasn’t easy: of course, it wasn’t the first time he was away when Danny was in pain, but that didn’t help at all. Last time it happened he was miles away, in another country, and the only thing he could do was listen to him cry on the phone and try to cheer him up… and it sucked. It wasn’t nearly enough, and everytime their calls ended, he always felt he didn’t do enough. Danny was a physical person, a hug always worked better than all the words Roy could hear, and at the time he couldn’t offer anything but those.

But this time was different. Yes, he had to take a plane, but it wasn’t that far away. This time he had the opportunity to be there for him.

“I’m coming back.”

“What? Roy, there’s no need to, I’m okay--.”

“Yeah, I’m still coming back.”

There was no hesitation in his voice while he was getting up from the bed. Roy had never been the kind of person to take sudden decisions, he always thought about everything at least twice or three times before taking a step like that, but this wasn’t the case. Danny was hurt, and he had all the intentions to come back and take care of him.

“Okay…”

Danny’s voice was still soft, but he could hear how happy he was about his decision. After all, they didn’t have any time to be together once he was back from Australia, and Roy would be lying if he wasn’t happy to be able to go back to him sooner than he thought. He finally smiled again, opening the closet to take out all of his clothes and finally start packing.

“Try not to break your other hand as well. I’ll be back sooner than you think.”

Danny laughed, the same laugh that could make everyone just happy by hearing that. Roy wasn’t immune to it, and even if he was still worried, he felt light as a feather. He couldn’t wait till he was finally able to hear it in real life again.

“You’re a dick. I’ll see you once you’re back, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

___________________________________

“Sooner than you think” was just a figure of speech, unfortunately. Roy had to wait a bit to be able to find a ticket to Los Angeles, and then he had to wait a couple of hours before the departure - that he used to make sure he didn’t leave with unfinished business - and then it was a five hours flight till he was home again. When he finally got off the airplane the sun was already half down the horizon, and it took him another half an hour before he was able to get his bags back. It was a torture at that point, when he wanted nothing more than being immediately at Danny’s place.

He felt like he almost couldn’t breathe. While Danny sounded calm during their call, the more he thought about his condition the more he was worried: that was too much even for his boyfriend’s clumsiness. Roy tried to talk himself out of that mental state, but he wasn’t doing a really good job.

He tried for the whole drive to Danny’s place, but the only moment he was finally able to breathe again was when he was finally inside, after saying hi to Danny’s cousin. He saw his boyfriend lying on the couch, the cast on his arm resting on his chest while he was watching some tv show Roy wasn’t really aware of. He didn’t care about reality tv shows, while Danny loved them because he liked seeing people going crazy on tv.

He didn’t look bad, except for the cast - and that made Roy sigh in relief, while the other man looked at him with a big smile and decided to get up.

“Willow, you’re here!”

“Of course I am, but don’t get up, all right?”

Roy said immediately, and while Danny simply sat on the couch, he also laughed a bit and looked at the older one with a raised eyebrow.

“I broke my hand, not my legs.”

Roy rolled his eyes and then sat next to him, one of his arms immediately going around Danny’s shoulders. Usually, he was the one to cut down physical contact in front of other people since he always considered anything that had even remotely something to do with love and affection private and personal, but in that case he didn’t care about Danny’s cousin in there with him: he missed his boyfriend, dearly, and now that he was finally able to feel his body against his, his warmth and his perfume everywhere, there was no way he was gonna behave.

“Shut up. How are you feeling? Is there something I can do to help?”

He thought Danny wasn’t even listening to him, since he was all curled up against him - his head placed on Roy’s shoulder, eyes half closed, and a happy smile printed on his lips. He wanted to kiss him, but then decided to wait: while Danny’s cousin was doing his best to be discreet, he was still in the same room, he couldn’t simply vanish.

“Better now that you’re here, and the only thing you need to do is to cuddle me and hold me close. I already ate and took care of everything.”

Roy chuckled a bit, holding Danny even closer and then kissed his forehead. That, he was more than happy to do. He stroked his hair gently, scratching behind his ear like he’d do with a kitty, and to his amusement Danny almost sounded like he was purring at the attention.

“Oh, you’ve finally became independent? I’m shocked.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I cooked for him and made sure he was all right.”

Danny’s cousin said with a chuckle, that made Roy do the same while the younger man pouted.

“Don’t sell me out like this, bitch!”

“Oops. Well, I suppose I can go now, it looks like you’re in good hands. Call me if you need anything.”

The man then decided to leave, and once both Danny and Roy had said goodbye, they finally shared a much needed and much wanted kiss. It was innocent and sweet, their lips melting together as if they wanted to become one, but it didn’t go further than that.

“I missed you.”

Danny’s whisper was soft and sweet against his lips, and made Roy smile. He gave him another kiss then, and another one again. It was difficult to stop once he started kissing Danny: after years of holding back, because he never thought there was any chance that Danny actually saw him as anything other than a fatherly figure, now that he had the chance to express his love for the younger man he was almost unable to stop when they were alone.

“I missed you too. And you have to tell me what the fuck did you do to end up like this.”

He added then, his fingers barely touching the cast that Danny was still keeping on his chest. Danny shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal - and while he was still worried, at least seeing that he wasn’t in pain helped his mind to calm down a bit.

“I’m just an idiot, as usual. I fell down and tried to stop my face from smacking on the ground with my hands, and I put this one in a weird position.”

Danny muttered, looking straight into the tv… and Roy couldn’t help but laugh. It was the most basic explanation, and it was the funniest one exactly because of it. He could even see Danny’s face when he fell, and that made it even more ridiculous. Useless to say that Danny didn’t like his reaction: he was pouting again now, poking Roy’s hip.

“Stop laughing you bitch! It’s not funny!”

“Oh, I think it’s very funny. I may use this in one of my shows.”

Danny looked at him with wide eyes for few seconds, then he glared at Roy that was smirking like a cat that got the canary.

“You would never.”

“Don’t test me, you know I would.”

“Bitch.”

Roy laughed again, but this time it was more soft: he wasn’t really making fun of Danny, and at that point he didn’t even want to. They kissed for a little more, but then Roy looked at him with a serious face, that made Danny answer with a confused look.

“You have to be more careful from now on. I don’t want you to hurt yourself like this again.”

His eyes looked down at Danny’s arm, and then his knees. They looked fine, but since Danny told him he had hurt himself there too he didn’t trust his own eyes. The other man clearly saw what he was looking at, and placed his hand on Roy’s cheek. It was soft and warm, just like the smile he was showing him immediately after.

“I’m okay now. You worry too much, you always do.”

“What if you hurt yourself again and next time I can’t be home with you?”

That was the real problem. In less then two months his tour was starting again, and Danny himself had to tour - with a broken arm nevertheless. The thought of going two separate ways with him in those conditions made Roy’s heart heavy; he had never had troubles choosing between his work or anything else, it came naturally to him to choose the first everytime - it was his passion, what he loved to do… but this time around it was more difficult. It was just like last year, when Danny was sobbing on the phone with him and Roy wanted nothing more to be home again, frustrated because there was no way he was able to go back fast since he was too far away from America, but at the same time it was different. It was heavier, even, because this time he was finally able to be completely sincere about what he felt and he didn’t have to hide behind the “concerned friend” facade.

Danny understood it immediately. They talked about it few times, so it wasn’t really surprising that he did. He kissed his lover’s cheek, then his jaw and his lips, in an attempt to make him relax.

“You worry too much.”

He repeated, rubbing his nose against Roy’s cheek. He wasn’t smiling this time, because he knew how hard it was for Roy to just enjoy the moment they had instead of filling his head with concerns.

“I’m gonna be okay. I’ll take care of myself and once we’re both back here you’ll see me without a cast and I’ll be able to jump on you. Okay?”

Roy nodded, trying to relax a little. He didn’t want to waste their time together by worrying about the future - there was time for that, and in that moment there was nothing more he wanted than spending some time with his lover, making sure he was okay and that he had everything he needed.

“Promise?”

“I promise. Now come here.”

The kiss that followed was definitely more heated than the others, but even if he wanted Danny with every inch of his body, he didn’t try and get more than that. It was also clear that his lover wanted the same, his lips were hungry and so were his hands, trying to find their way under Roy’s shirt… and he even whined a little when he didn’t get what he wanted.

“Danny come on, you need to rest.”

“I’m okay, fuck, it’s just my hand. My ass didn’t break, you know?”

Roy chuckled a bit. It was endearing how Danny was always ready for him, and for someone that had always thought he wasn’t that attractive, having a lover that craved his touch in every free minute they had was a surprise and the best ego booster he ever had. He then sighed, stroking Danny’s lower lip: the younger one didn’t waste any time, parting his lips to let his tongue out to play with his finger, and Roy let him do it for a few seconds before he decided to give up. While he usually had a great self control, it was basically impossible to resist Danny, his big doe eyes looking at him, begging him to do something. He needed just that look to feel his own body asking him for more, and who was he to refuse at this point?

“All right, but you’re gonna lie on the bed. I’m doing all the work.”

Danny purred, kissing him eagerly once again before he got up from the couch.

“Yes sir!”

_______________________________

It was late at night: Roy was holding Danny, his cheek on the older man’s chest, both breathing calmly. It was nice, feeling Danny’s body against him, warm and smooth - and even if they made love more than once, that night, he thought they could keep going if it wasn’t that the younger one was already half asleep, mumbling nonsense with his eyes closed. Roy smiled, looking at him with what could be just described as love: he felt so lucky to have someone like Danny at his side. He never thought they’d get past the friends stage, and he made peace with it years ago, but once they had been able to be completely honest between one another, it was like they finally took down a wall that they didn’t want to have. Roy had always felt strong feelings for Danny, but this… this was on another complete level.

‘This’ was a warmth he never felt while stroking someone’s hair, a devotion for every little thing the younger man did, and a desire to protect him from everything and everyone.

“I like when you do that.”

Danny said, his voice muffled against Roy’s skin. It almost tickled, but in a nice way; Roy kept playing with his hair, a tired but definitely happy smile on his face.

“This? I like it too. It makes me relax.”

He heard Danny mumbling again, but this time he couldn’t understand what he said - and decided not to ask. They stayed silent for a while: this was one of his favorite things too. Being able to be quiet with him and still not feeling uncomfortable at all.

Eventually, he thought Danny would simply fall asleep - but instead, he heard his voice a little clearer than before.

“Babe, I want you to sign my cast.”

Roy tried not to smile too hard at the pet name, but he didn’t succeed.

“How old are you, ten?”

“Come on, it would look cute!”

Danny was already up, trying to find a pen in the night table. Roy wanted to ask him why he would even have one in there, but decided not to pry; the answer would have been either about music, something stupid or something dirty. He saw his lover smiling victoriously once he found one, showing it to Roy, and there he was, sitting naked on his bed waiting for him to sign his cast. It was just too cute to resist, so he got up as well, took the pen from his hands and wrote down something. It wasn’t easy, writing on a cast, but in the end the “Get well soon, my chola -Bianca” looked fine. Danny looked at it for a while, a big smile on his lips that became tender when he raised his eyes to meet Roy’s.

“Thank you. It looks super cool.”

“I wouldn’t call it cool, but you’re welcome.”

Roy leaned forward till he was able to meet Danny’s mouth in a sweet kiss; he felt the other one smiling against his lips, and knowing he was able to make him smile was the best feeling he had ever felt.

“This is gonna be my lucky charm. As long as I have your name on my arm, I’ll be fine.”

Danny declared before he giggled a bit, clearly trying to make it look like a joke; but Roy wanted to believe it would be a lucky charm. It was like letting Danny go but with a piece of him, a way to be together even when they were in two different countries.

Roy didn’t say anything for a second, before he kissed his own signature; he lingered his lips on it for few seconds, then he left a trail of kisses on his lover’s stomach and chest, stopping only once he was on his neck. Danny sighed, the arm without the cast already around Roy’s shoulders; maybe he wasn’t as tired as he looked, and he made it clear immediately after.

“Kisses are better as lucky charm though. Keep going?”

He didn’t need to ask more.