#not to sound like a melodramatic teen but nobody understands and nobody cares and im alone.
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everyone around me making me go Fucking Insane and i am About To Fucking Snap
#everyone in my life makes it excruciatingly clear that they only tolerate me when i let them say whatever they want to me and walk all over#me and dedicate my life to serving them. if i want to live my own life or not let people treat me however i want or dare to want to be happ#then at best im talking back and whining and crying and being a little bitch who cant handle anything and needs to grow up#if im unhappy thats my own fault for being a failure and i need to just work harder and do better and not make people mad if i dont want th#them to remind me that im a failure and that they dont care about me let alone love me#genuinely i dont think anyone has ever loved me. they 'love' the version of me that dedicates its life to serving everyone else#if i do anything besides jump for joy at the privilege of being insulted and talked down to and treated like an inconvenience that nobody w#wants then im the one causing problems#im fucking miserable and sad and lonely and everything sucks.#not to sound like a melodramatic teen but nobody understands and nobody cares and im alone.#and at this point i think i just have to accept that its going to be like this until i die. nothing will ever change.#ill either be trapped forever or ill somehow escape and fall back into the same cycles and either way itll kill me#ghost.txt
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