#not to mention the tedious “make sure it works” during Aug-Oct

[hikarisouai-blog]

The perks of salary - during the off seasons, you get paid to do nothing at work except scroll social media looking for time to kill or something to do. You have weekly meetings detailing office shenanigans and how Sales is about to start a robot battle using modified Roombahs to showcase how good our firm is at the "techy nerd stuff". People want in and don't know the first thing about modifying, much less programming, Roombahs. But your team does - and your phone is blowing up from Slack messages. Teams from other offices you ain't ever heard from dub it the RoboDome. You and your coworkers at the same position/dept. across all branches are banned due to accusations of bribery, theft, and schematic alterations ripped from the iRobot website within the first few hours of the announcement. You become "consultants" for the participating teams, by accepting dog/cat pics, donuts, and covered shifts on holidays. You go back to scial media scrolling the rest of the week, before you remember that you don't need to even be at the office anymore (a habit of yours from the insane crunch period from last month) and file with HR for "work from home". You dread the upcoming crunch time in a few months so you pretend this is how work is done the entire year. You go to tumblr to view your favorite fandom trending and see Neil Gaiman' blog. You remember the dread of work in the last few 'crunches'. You doomscroll more. Still get paid to reblog.

The downsides to having a salary - you work overtime almost every day/week during crunch times with no OT pay or bonuses. You reenact a breakup scene everytime you leave your bed, it hasn't had the bedding washed in over a month, and your coworkers are all zombies begging for someone with brains (to come relieve them from the slog of chugging out code in PHP because one of our clients demanded it in that language). One of the clients called about a syntax typo that crashed everything on the user end and made their systems look "like the Matrix if it was a Scy-Fy knockoff". There's a programmer who has quit at the lunch table at least three times this week but can't officially send off his resignation because his wife is pregnant and needs his insurance benefits (she's doing her residency and can't afford shit). The coffee you reheated in your mug is from last week, and your breakfast of one wrinkly apple and half a bag of Veggie Straws was the only fresh thing you've seen in days. No one knows who is in charge of what, and you keep getting texts asking where you are hiding because all of you engineers owe the dept lead a program from last week that was due a month ago. You get the first email from the owner/CEO of the year, thanking you all from his office that he has been sleeping in for a few days now. There's 4 shareholders that you've never seen or met and they all want monthly updates from each dept. Someone's calling out because their kid is sick and you can taste the salt in the air. You are hiding with the other engineers in one of the 'executive' workstations, feeling like you are putting your forehead against a cheesegrater when you see the jumbled mess of PHP and what you think is PowerShell. You quietly type away and remind your coworkers and yourself, "I need this job".

Between all of this you have periods of normal, healthy, and productive periods of work. You stay at home, get up and shower and get to work, and you do all of your tasks from your living room. You come in for meetings once a month, excited to see people. On special projects you come in everyday. You see code and you see hardware and you see all kinds of cool things that made you fall in love with your career. You hate the "Big 4" in IT for corrupting and warping your industry. You hate what greed has done to necessary industries like IT, education, medical and public services.

You hate how everything that is a commodity eventually seems to turn into a necessity and in turn gets warped for profit and gains. Need a degree? Go get a pricey degree! Need medical attention? You need pricey insurance! You want to use public services? Sorry, we have underfunded those in the last decade or more. They aren't gonna be as helpful - or you can spend more money on this other useless service that kinda sorta works better and is more than the other one! (I'm looking right at you Amazon, and your stupid book subscription thing.)

You are sick of it, but because you make more money than should be possible at your workplace you try to suck it up and tell yourself that it's what you signed up for, like how retail workers know about Black Friday. So you suck it up. And go back to mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds while getting paid.

The benefits of salary: paid to browse.

The downside? Your career's enshittification has you regretting your life choices.