#not to be confused with Redd Foxx

[admiralgiggles]

I did see a fox, even if it didn’t see me. 😂

[snowlessknitter]

The Masked Singer: S5, E6 (Group A Finals, Last Wildcard Joins) Running Commentary

As always, I post before I see an unmasking, so do not take these as spoilers. These are just my guesses and thought process as I watch the show.

Russian Dolls 🪆: They’ve toured all over the place and performed at the White House. And now there’s four dolls? But only three of them were shown singing. I’m still convinced this is Hanson. But I can’t find anything about the band performing at the White House or for a President.

Robopine 🤖 🦔: The number 6, a Golden eagle, the initials MM or MW, a referee indicating traveling (when a basketball is carried instead of dribbled, which is illegal and results in possession going to the other team). Is it Marlon Wayans? Or could it be a basketball player? Or someone who likes to travel? AKA seems to suggest he may have changed his name at some point. I’m still a little stumped as to who he may be, but I’m gonna guess, strangely enough, Jamie Foxx! He’s won an Oscar, and Jamie Foxx is his stage name (his real name is Eric Marlon Bishop; he took the stage name “Jamie Foxx” during his days as a standup comedian because he noticed the women were being called to perform first at shows...he took the name Jamie because it was unisex and wouldn’t easily give away his gender, and the surname Foxx is a tribute to Redd Foxx, a comedian and actor who was best known for starring in the popular sitcom Sanford & Son in the 1970s).

Seashell 🐚: I saw a lot of sibilance in this clue package...as in a lot of S sounds. “She Sells Seashells”, “Strength Supplements”. Since I last saw her, I’ve taken a look to see who this might be. There’s also a reference to “Motown”, which could indicate she is either from Detroit or has connections to Detroit. All those S sounds could be referring to Sister, Sister, which is set in Detroit, Michigan. The stars of that show were a pair of twin sisters, Tia and Tamera Mowry. But there’s only one Seashell, not two. I only recall one episode of Sister, Sister that involved either one of them singing: and that was a season 3 episode where Tamera sang “I’m Goin’ Down” by Rose Royce, and in the episode Tamera was too happy to sing a song about heartbreak. So I’m gonna go with Tamera Mowry on this one rather than her sister Tia.

Orca 🐳: $3, Orca has two kids, could be twins. But I think the Hawk seals this for me, in addition to looking into his previous clues a little further. Mark McGrath (best known as the lead singer of Sugar Ray) has 10-year-old twins, and the Hawk clue is a reference to his friendship with actor Ethan Hawke, as the two are often confused for each other by fans. (Hawke will sometimes sign autographs as “Mark McGrath”, while McGrath will sometimes sign his autographs as “Ethan Hawke”.)

Yeti 😈 ⛄️: Berries, surrounded by women, big heart and kiss symbol. Sounds like he’s either an R&B star or was in a boy band at some point. Or perhaps an R&B boy band? Maybe Omarion? Jenny’s guess of Ray J is also a good guess. I’m not sold on a guess, so I’m gonna go with Omarion for now.

[cartoonessays]

OFF-TOPIC: All the Rage

Dave Chappelle has just released his latest stand-up special on Netflix, Sticks & Stones.  This stand-up special comes after four other comedy specials that have been beleaguered with criticism over Chappelle’s material about the LGBTQ+ community, particularly transgender people, and about the women who accused Louis CK of sexual misconduct.  And Sticks & Stones has attracted just as much controversy as any of Chappelle’s other Netflix specials if not more.

And that’s by design.

The special opens up with this quote from Kendrick Lamar’s “DNA”

Tell me somethin’ / You mothafuckas can’t tell me nothin’ / I’d rather die than to listen to you…

In Sticks & Stones, Dave Chappelle sets himself up as some kind of defiant martyr fighting the good fight against so-called “cancel culture” or any moral busybodies who get offended by any jokes he or any of his other comedian friends might have told at any point.  Many of those who express praise and enthusiasm towards Sticks & Stones defend it on similar grounds, writing off any criticism of it as people being “too sensitive”, “offended”, and “trying to cancel Dave Chappelle”.

Enough dancing around the subject.  I found the special really tired and juvenile.  What he’s doing here is thumbing his nose at any critic who had dared to take issue with anything he has said in his prior Netflix special in a way that eschews the thoughtfulness that Chappelle is capable of for petulance.  That might have been okay if it was funny regardless, but I didn’t think it was.  A better version of what Chappelle tried to do here was more than 30 years ago, in Eddie Murphy: Raw.  Eddie Murphy opened up this special complaining about criticism he got for his last special from Mr. T, Michael Jackson, and the gay community with much funnier jokes.  The crescendo of this bit was his brilliant story of Bill Cosby calling him on the phone to browbeat him about his foul language.

A bunch of the critics praising Sticks & Stones are calling it revelatory and a breath of fresh air in this moment of time.  Really?  All this is is Chappelle’s version of “PC gone mad” in response to criticism, which is not a novel concept.  Carlos Mencia’s whole shtick 15 years ago was to crack jokes using racial stereotypes and then spend the next ten minutes guilt tripping the audience into laughing by expressing faux-martyrdom aggrievement over “political correctness” or “sensitivity”.  This is as cliche a comedy staple as “take my wife, please”.  Other comedians who have gone this exact same angle include Jerry Seinfeld, Roseanne Barr, Larry the Cable Guy, Ricky Gervais, Bill Maher, Chris Rock, Andrew Dice Clay, Lil Duval, Jim Norton, Patrice O’Neal, Nick DaPaolo, Joe Rogan, Doug Stanhope, Rob Schneider, Lisa Lampanelli, Eddie Griffin, John Cleese, George Carlin, Aziz Ansari, Sarah Silverman, DL Hughley, Tracy Morgan, Adam Carolla, Amy Schumer, Tim Allen, Aries Spears, Russell Peters, Redd Foxx, Dennis Miller, Mike Epps, Patton Oswalt, Jeff Dunham, Sam Kinison, and Louis CK just to name a few.

Despite this being a cliche, I think taking the angle Dave Chappelle took here is more expedient for himself than ever.  A part of the reason is because our society has become more politically polarizing than ever.  A lot of the discourse around Sticks & Stones falls along politically partisan lines (yes, I know that includes myself too).  Most of the people defending Dave Chappelle so ardently are right-wing pundits/publications like Breitbart, Dana Loesch, and Gavin McInnes and most of the people criticizing Chappelle are liberal/pro-LGBTQ+ publications.  Chappelle and his defenders are using this special as a denouncing of “cancel culture”.  I hate that term and I hate the framing around it even more because it’s so vaguely defined other than the fact that it’s nakedly partisan.  The screeds against “cancel culture” are not so subtle digs at the left and reinforce a narrative that the left wants to censor everything and that the right are the true defenders of free speech and free expression.  It’s weird that the “cancel culture” designation never applies when the right-wing gets upset about Nike, Gillette, or Keurig coffee makers.

I think a better name for all of this is “outrage culture” and it’s nonpartisan.  So much of our public discourse is handled on social media, particularly Twitter, that rewards shorter and more attention-grabbing hot takes over lengthy, nuanced analysis.  And one of the easiest ways to grab attention is by being outrageous or inflammatory.  In response, online publications of all political stripes write their headlines in inflammatory ways that grab attention in order to be shared on social media.  Even if the actual article has more nuance to it, most people don’t read past the splashy headline anyway.  In regards to politics, it has further defined people, whatever their personal views may be, in reaction to what they aren’t or what they disagree with.  It’s partially why so many people have blamed things like the 2016 Ghostbusters film or Star Wars: The Last Jedi as the reason they voted for Trump or why they’ll vote for Trump again.  It’s also why so many of the people praising Sticks & Stones so zealously have attempted to use it as a rallying cry for Trump and Trumpism.  This also goes for any liberals who expressed a desire to buy Nikes or Gillette razors after the right-wing meltdown over them.

Sticks & Stones was a rallying cry to anybody that has defined themselves or their politics to being anti-politically correct (which isn’t only right-wingers, but largely encompasses right-wingers) to look to Dave Chappelle as a hero to wrap themselves around.  I felt the same way about Louis CK’s stand-up “comeback” where he mocked school shooting survivors, millenials, and non-binary kids.  CK was hugely popular on college campuses and liberal crowds despite never being “politically correct”.  He was also often very thoughtful in the way he towed that fine line when tackling touchy subjects.  But in light of his sexual misconduct scandal, he must have figured that he permanently burned a bridge with that crowd so he pivoted to a crowd that doesn’t care that he sexually harassed multiple women.  This same crowd also tends not to think too highly of the Parkland shooting survivors for their gun control activism or trans and non-binary people.

The thing is, Dave Chappelle and Louis CK don’t give a damn about any of these right-wingers or their pro-Trump causes.  They’re just looking out for number one.  Breitbart wouldn’t write fawning articles about Chappelle if the focus was on him expressing discomfort over a white person’s laughter over a blackface sketch he was doing on his show.  They wouldn’t rally around Louis CK either if he was still telling jokes expressing confusion as to why women would want to date men based off violence against women statistics.  Conversely, Nike and Gillette don’t actually give a damn about putting an end to police brutality or toxic masculinity.  If they were to discover that they could make more money off of using “Blue Lives Matter” sentiment or objectifying women, they would do it in a heartbeat.  This is all this whole shit is.

I suppose that’s ultimately the joke in all of this.  I don’t find it very funny, but I suppose I’m just too sensitive, right?

[oldshowbiz]

August 1958 - Timmie Rogers, the first major Black comedian to emerge in the post-war period, was brutally beaten by an army sergeant on the base where he'd been booked to perform. Rogers was the first of a new generation of stand-ups that included Nipsey Russell and Redd Foxx.

Timmie Rogers was the first Black stand-up comedian to play before white audiences. In the 1940s Black performers could sing and dance for a white audience, but it was generally verboten to just talk and joke as yourself. Rogers played both Black and white clubs and was a hit in both. He was known for his catch phrase, “Oh, yeah!” He occasionally sang and danced and even released several soul singles, but was best known as a fresh, brash, stand-up comic.

Timmie Rogers was a regular on The Jackie Gleason Show where his stand-up act made him a crossover star. He had just finished a month at the London Palladium with Liberace and Dick Shawn when he was booked for a month's worth of work, doing comedy on US army bases all around Europe

He had just finished performing at two different US Army installations in Germany when he arrived for his third and final show of the evening, scheduled for 12:15am, Saturday night. Upon arrival at midnight, a white army sergeant screamed in his face, "Where's the fucking emcee?"

It was 15 minutes before showtime. Timmie Rogers reportedly asked the sergeant, "What's the problem, man?" The sergeant accused him of being late and yelled, "Don't call me man'!" He punched Rogers in the face, knocking him against a shuffle board table, throwing him to the ground.

Two white soldiers watched while the army sergeant repeatedly kicked the comedian while yelling the N-word. Rogers suffered internal bleeding, two black eyes, three broken ribs, and several cuts and bruises. Rogers was already well-known. A famous star. He had just spent a month entertaining US soldiers.

The army sergeant was court-martialed for "inflicting grievous bodily harm, felonious assault, and conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentlemen." He was expected to get five years in jail if convicted. Several witnesses saw the sergeant scream the N-word and assault the comic.

The army sergeant claimed he never touched the comedian. He told the press, "I’m in a blouse uniform and I’m going to beat up some [N-word] in the back yard? That would be ridiculous. I never laid a hand on him. I know better than that. I’ve been in the army sixteen years." 

Later the army sergeant admitted to the crime. As the Pittsburgh Courier reported, there were audible gasps in the court martial room when the army sergeant was acquitted of all charges other than disorderly conduct. He was fined one thousand dollars and went back to work.

Rogers was livid, calling it Deep South style justice. “Man, the jury was Little Rock and the judge was Governor Faubus! Billy and Yvonne Moore, two English actors, saw the whole thing and offered to return from England to testify. The army refused to bring them back for the trial. [The Major] was really reeling and completely confused about the starting time of my performance. Man, he didn’t know what was happening.” 

Due to his injuries, Timmie Rogers would no longer be able to dance in his act, but his stature as a stand-up comedian only grew. He enjoyed even greater cross over success in the 1960s, appearing in hundreds nightclubs and television shows. A pioneer.

[unspectacularmarvels]

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – The Missing Episodes: series one, volume one

Two bickering, incorporeal aliens take up residence in Kira’s breasts and refuse to leave.

When Quark obtains one of the last shipments of Hibernian potatoes, a now extinct crop, O’Brien is determined to keep them from his friends & family - and the rest of the Alpha Quadrant. Because he’s Irish.

Sisko’s childhood friend Lafayette pays him a visit, causing him to reminisce over his long-forgotten past as ‘Sisko Slap de Chienne’ on the streets of New Orleans.

Nog and Jake persuade Odo that a dried-up piece of alien s**t is in fact the fossilized remains of one of his own kind, prompting him to undertake a dangerous journey into the Gamma Quadrant.

Quark opens a Vajazzling boutique on the promenade.

Kira is determined to preserve the Bajoran equivalent of Morris Dancing, now confined to a single rural village following the occupation, in an episode that doesn’t really go anywhere.

Garak starts a craze for flared trousers, forgetting that strutting space is at a premium on a Cardassian space station - or is that all part of the plan?

Sisko’s baseball goes missing and Jadzia is convinced that Dax has it stashed away in their Trill pouch. 

Bashir embarks on a romantic relationship with a Nerubian female, unaware that they mate for life by fusing genitalia. Meanwhile, Odo is confused by a lava lamp.

O’Brien hastily buys a curious alien plant from Quark when he forgets his anniversary, but Keiko soon discovers it has a malevolent intelligence…and one heck of a singing voice! Everyone eagerly awaits the scheduled passage of an enormous, rather phallic-looking cargo transporter through the wormhole and competes to be the one to crack the best joke when it occurs. Everyone, that is, except Odo, who believes the Cardassians are planning to use the distraction to attack the station. And Kira, who just doesn’t find penises funny...

Quark acquires highly-sophisticated (and outlawed) mind-control technology, which he then uses to get Dax to perform erotic dances at the bar. Bashir soon owes him more Latinum than he can ever repay and, on the verge of a breakdown, decides to do something desperate… Sisko’s enstranged uncle, Fred, arrives at the station and attempts to set-up his own junk-collecting business, much to Odo and Quark’s annoyance. Guest stars Redd Foxx.  Quark stumbles upon an ancient shipment of Beanie Babies and the craze soon sweeps the station - but all may not be quite what it seems. Meanwhile, Jake and Nog search for the legendary ‘Gerry the Space Gopher’ Beanie when the super-hot Dabo girl they like announces that she’ll do anything to get hold of it...

Sisko receives a heavy blow to the head resulting from an accident, and awakens believing himself to be a no-nonsense, bad-ass detective called ‘Turbo Shaft.’ Unfortunately, Gul Dukat is due to arrive at the station to discuss the release of several Bajoran POWs.  

Kira isn’t in it this week.

[junker-town]

Garth Brooks fans mix up Barry Sanders with Bernie Sanders on a jersey

People got VERY mad at the singer.

Barry Sanders, one of the best running backs in NFL history, is a Detroit legend who wore the number 20 throughout his 10-year career with the Lions. Bernie Sanders is a democratic candidate for president in the 2020 election.

Unfortunately for Garth Brooks, some of his fans aren’t as familiar with the former as they are with the latter.

View this post on Instagram

Detroit You carried me all night long But you always have I’m in love with you! love, g #GARTHinDETROIT

A post shared by Garth Brooks (@garthbrooks) on Feb 22, 2020 at 8:17pm PST

Brooks held a concert in the Motor City last weekend, marking the occasion on Instagram with a photo of him wearing a Barry Sanders jersey. While intended as a nod to one of the city’s greatest sports legends, it sparked total anarchy as hundreds of angry Brooks fans assumed the photo was a statement of support for Bernie Sanders, who was not a Hall of Fame running back.

“Good grief. Can’t you just do what you get paid to do ???? Why why why does it have to involve politics !!! So sad. We don’t pay good money for anything other than to watch you perform. Thought you were different. ‍♀️”

Some fans were mad at Brooks for supporting communism AND socialism.

“Nothing like supporting a communist to loss a few fans! How about going to a successful socialist country and doing some research? Oh yes, you can’t because there aren’t ANY successful socialist countries!”

Others wanted him to #SticktoMusic.

“I wish you would’ve kept your political preferences to yourself. Peace out.”

“Well guess ur no different from other celebrities,,but thought u might be. We dont need to know who u vote for an especially at ur concert”

Some plan to boycott Brooks over his love for Barry Sanders, the football player who is not running for president.

“I will never spend a cent on anything that has to do with you. I will turn the station on one of your songs come on.”

“Won’t play Garth Brooks on American Veterans Radio any longer. Betrayal”

Even a Michigan voter wasn’t aware of one of the most legendary athletes in state history.

“You just lost thousands of fans in Michigan Just stick to your music. #trump2020landslide

#KAG ”

Hopefully Brooks wife, country singer Trisha Yearwood, isn’t planning on honoring any NFL legends in the near future.

“I will always love your music, but you must have down a rabbit hole and swallowed a crazy pill. Disappointing, I sure hope Trisha keeps politics off her shows.”

This person just wants Brooks to pray.

“The problem with you people in music, acting, etc, is that you can’t keep your noses out of politics with the public. The American people don’t care what you think. Why dont you pray and stop pitting us against each other. We are tired of your hatred and disrespect to the President. Keep your opinions to yourself instead of displaying it.”

Perhaps he’ll wake up soon and stop liking really good football players.

“To each his own....but any “legend” who can support a socialist rather that the undisputed GREATEST POTUS OF ALL TIME @realdonaldtrump can take pride in knowing you’ve lost a fan who has been with you since day one. Perhaps you’ll wake up soon.”

In an effort to help those confused by the Sanders conundrum, here are other potential Sanders mix-ups I’d like to clear up before things get out of hand.

Colonel Sanders is the corporate mascot for fast food chain Kentucky Fried Chicken. He is not affiliated with Bernie Sanders.

Deion Sanders is a Hall of Fame defensive back and current NFL broadcaster. He is also not Bernie Sanders.

The aisle at Lowe’s labeled “SANDERS” contains products designed to remove rough material from wood, metal and other materials. Tools do not have a political affiliation.

Sanford and Son was a popular sitcom in the 1970s starring Redd Foxx. While it might sound like “Sanders” if you say it quickly, the show is not related to Bernie Sanders.

Sanders Beach is just south of Pensacola, Florida. Despite being named “Sanders” and having an abundance of sand, it does not have a preference in the 2020 election.

I hope this helps.

[danmacrae]

Silly 90s Intro Blab: A Thing To Skim Through On The Toilet

Hello! I’m semi-tolerable nuisance Dan MacRae! Why am I shouting at you? Not sure! Sorry, I’ll take it down a notch.

Instead of learning how to pleasure a woman or how to unlock the mysteries of grooming, I have devoted my life to TV nonsense. Blessed YouTube presence RwDt09 has been collecting these amazing compilations of era (and sometimes season) specific TV intros and they are my everything. Imagine having a child that didn’t suck? That’s the feeling RwDt09′s videos put in my heart.

I've been obsessively rewatching this collection of mostly forgotten early '90s TV intros. The bulk of these shows died a quick death and feel like the product of whatever drugs TV execs take. (Probably something snorted from one of those awesome McDonalds coffee straws they ditched in like 2002.) Because I'm a handsome pin-up hunk of the year, I wrote some dumb blurbs about the first few shows and have some stray thoughts on the rest. This appeals to no one but me AND I APOLOGIZE TO NO ONE!

In the immortal words of John Lennon, let’s get biz-zay!

DINOSAURS: I’m at a point in my life where I can acknowledge that Dinosaurs sucked. It’s incredibly freeing. Christ, this is like that stupid-ass Norman Lear show where dogs did social commentary BUT WITH HENSON PUPPETS! I hope Baby Sinclair was stomped to death and eaten as pudding before the extinction series finale. (Yes, that happened.) The intro isn’t bad, mind you. You get the lumbering theme song and Earl gets stuck in a door CUZ LAFFS! TIMES SURE HAVEN’T CHANGED HO HO HO! God I hate these fucking dinosaurs.

Intro MVP: It’s not a stellar pack, but we get a bit of Robbie Sinclair who census data has shown led to a variety of surprising sexual awakenings for youths at the time.

SCORCH: A 1300-year-old dragon named Scorch visits the 1990s on a budget that looks not far removed from Skank on The Ben Stiller Show. The song will make you want to barricade your sex organs from a world where you can bring children into a world with THAT CAWAZZZY SCORCH! The theme song really is a special brand of irritating and Scorch looks like a malformed Deviant Art dildo with a vaguely religious bent.

Intro MVP: Probably John O’Hurley for not actually appearing in the intro. (Even with O’Hurley’s weird résumé.)

FISH POLICE: Not to be confused with the (ARF! ARF! ARF!) Dog Police, Fish Police and Family Dog are shows I know almost exclusively from being mentioned as examples of the crappy post-Simpsons primetime animation gold rush. Fish Police actually looks good animation-wise, but it’s pretty clear you’re gonna be sledgehammered with endless “COULD YOU IMAGINE FISH DOING THESE OLD TROPES? DO WE NEED TO CALL A SEARCH PARTY FOR YOUR SIDES? ARE THEY SPLITTING ALREADY?” jokes. Congrats dipshits, you made a cinema-touched precursor to Frankie & George. You dummies. Also there’s the tone of casual racism UNDER THE SEA so do with that what you will. DID YOU SEE CHINATOWN? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT?

Intro MVP: Thank goodness they specified who John Ritter voices so we could all bask in Inspector Gil as a character name. Fuck you, Fish Police.

CAPITOL CRITTERS: Christ, this looks UNWATCHABLE. Like walk into oncoming traffic as an alternative unwatchable. Capitol Critters centers around an animated mouse named Max (voiced by Neil Patrick Harris) witnesses his family being murdered in Nebraska and moves to D.C. and wait what the fuck is going on with those roaches? (Racism, mostly.) Who thought this was a good idea to invest time, money and animator joint damage in? Stephen Bochco, baby! I have a perverse curiosity to see an episode but after 90 seconds I know I'd be dying to eat a fucking gun instead of suffering through any more of Capitol Critters.

Intro MVP: Gotta be Bochco. Also, EAT SHIT BOCHCO!

And now a really tiny blab about the rest. Watch this clip package, ya goofs!

FAMILY DOG: Folks were fucking horny for Spielberg TV shit in the 90s, ditto Tim Burton too and that's how an Amazing Stories, uh, story was morphed into a shitball TV series that Brad Bird wanted no part of. Also, I have no idea how to explain things like the CBS StereoSound chyron to anyone born after Clinton left office.

THE CRITIC: Nice to see you, Jay Sherman! This is a lovely intro and you likely know that already. I've done a few rewatches of The Critic (not the web series season, though) and I say the show definitely holds up and is far from a duketastrophe. That said, some of the parody film clips that got raves at the time are kinda creaky in hindsight.

CHARLIE HOOVER: Can I say something? Fuck Sam Kinison. Hmm... That's a bit harsh. I guess I just don't get him on any level. The only thing he's done that I've ever found all that funny was when he said he wished Andrew Dice Clay die of stomach cancer from the inside out, like Bette Davis. Kinison's not my cup of tea is what I'm getting at. In Charlie Hoover (GET IT HURF HURF), Kinison is a foot high loudmouth in a long coat that's getting 40-year-old square Tim Matheson where he needs to be in life.

A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN: Or... "Betty Spaghetti's Here Which Is All The Star Power You Need!"

HARDBALL: A League Of Their Own had a fun, feel good intro with all the corny touches of ol' timey baseball. Hardball tries to sell you on Joe Rogan: Baseball Fella and the vague scent of urinal troughs.

GOOD GRIEF: Howie Mandel golfs in a cemetery and it's not particularly clear if he's just fucking around on strangers graves for fun. (Alternate Theory: Those graves belong to the family from Bobby's World. All the Generics!)

THE FANELLI BOYS: If enjoy broad Italian-American stereotypes to the point of falling down laughing at the sight of a pizza box, you'll love The Fanelli Boys! Joe Pantoliano and Christopher Meloni both star.

SOMETHING WILDER: Something Wilder was the sort of show where I wished Gene Wilder well and still kept 5000 miles away from watching it. Also, Wilder's face on that house is CHILLING.

DUDLEY: Embrace the luxury hotel elevator elegance of Dudley! Does it feature Dudley Moore make a series of faces where he seems surprised by everything? You better believe it. This was also where Max Wright got work in-between taking abuse from a cat eating alien and Norm Macdonald.

CAROL & COMPANY: It's a bit Carol Takes On in the intro with Carol Burnett in assorted costumes and that's alright because everyone does the assorted costumes intro thing. Tickets to the show are blown across America and get in the hands of whatever Orphan Black Carol happens to be in the area.

THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW: This is an extremely 90s sort of intro that feels like something more upscale soft rock stations did in TV ads at the time too. Richard Kind directs a bit of paper at someone midway through.

DREXELL'S CLASS: One of more storied entries in the Dabney Coleman being an asshole catalogue. The first intro features Dabney, ol' Drex himself, just hanging around in class being hot shit and occasionally mimicking a flying dinosaur. The second intro is a more traditional clip collection highlighted by a young Brittany Murphy (WHO WAS MURDERED! FACT! REMINDER!) and Coleman in a wild 8 ball jacket. Rembrandt off Sliders also makes an appearance.

TEECH: If this intro looks exactly like a sitcom where a Cool Black Music Instructor™ teaches Prep School bad boys in Bush Sr era America that's because it is exactly that sort of sitcom. Maggie Han deserves better.

THE ROYAL FAMILY: It seems extra cruel to take Redd Foxx's popcorn away considering he'd be dead before the fifth episode even aired. Della Reese is in this, die-hard Della fans.

ROC: This intro works perfectly. We get Charles S. Dutton, Ella Joyce and an easy to digest Jerry Lawson theme song. (En Vogue would do the theme later.) It’d be nice if they could get Edgar Allan Poe wagging a finger at seafood or something else in the background to push that Baltimore thing even more, but I still wish this intro from 25+ year old Fox comedy all the best in its future endeavours.

BREWSTER PLACE: Speaking of good intros, Brewster Place is a first rate brand of TV welcome. Brenda Pressley is the MVP of the intro over Oprah Winfrey which might explain why Brenda Pressley has been missing since 1992. (I know she’s on The Path. Just play along.)

SUNDAY BEST: The intro equivalent of getting someone to throw shit at a wall, we get an early 90s NBC grab bag of fuck it whatever shots of TVs and TV dinners with poor Carl Reiner trotted out partway through.

AMERICAN CHRONICLES: Mark Frost and David Lynch paired for a documentary series in the early ‘90s on Fox because Fox was like fucking UHF at the time. The industrial strength creepy opening doesn’t include any shots of narrator Richard Dreyfuss turning towards the camera and that’s a damn shame.

AMERICAN DETECTIVES: If you get horny for stressed out real-life detectives, this will send your undergarments to Mars! Lots of mustaches here. A whole Safeway bag’s worth. Some real rural gas station rock going on with that theme tune.

FBI: THE UNTOLD STORIES: The tone of this entire intro is: “Hey kid, wanna see a dead body? Or twenty?” Creepy music blasting over Jackie Kennedy on the back of JFK’s death limo and Wayne Williams heading to trial equals primetime party fun!

ENCOUNTERS: THE HIDDEN TRUTH: Suck it, Sightings! Encounters is leading a new dawn for crackpot horseshit to eat Bugles to! I appreciate the shameless X-Files knockoff intro thing Fox is doing (cuz it’s their show) that comes complete with head shop blanket alien head popping up midway through.

STEPHEN KING’S GOLDEN YEARS: Essentially Garth Marenghi's Darkplace with one hell of a music rights win tacked on.

TRIBECA: This opening reminds me an awful lot of terrible movies I was bullied into watching on VHS at a friend’s house.

WIOU: One thing I like in a TV intro is when something fun happens with the title onscreen. It’s a minor thing, but the way those WIOU letters turn into view? HOOCHIE MAMA! Eight is Enough’s Dick Van Patten does a fantastic job of conveying that being a weatherfellow is tough work.

GABRIEL’S FIRE: I will never for the life of me understand how the early ‘90s could not sustain a James Earl Jones fronted program titled Gabriel’s Fire. Those worlds are supposed to meld beautifully.

PROS & CONS: Gabriel’s Fire would morph into the more lighthearted Pros & Cons which symbolized its new form by laying it on thick with the Video Toaster touches. Instead of James Earl Jones peering at you from the darkness, this go-around it’s a lot of smiles and silly moments with Richard Crenna.

BURKE’S LAW: Hearing “it’s Burke’s Law” at the start of that intro is like when “Do you smell what The Rock’s cooking?” would play before Dwayne Johnson would wander down a ramp to kick Triple H in the stomach. In this case, it’s to get you fired up that Gene Barry’s back on television. This particular episode promises Dom DeLuise and Tawny Kitaen together at last!

MAX MONROE: LOOSE CANNON: If you only see one intro for a Shadoe Stevens vehicle that transitions from a Donut Hole shot to an extended leer at a lady’s bum, make it this one!

TEQUILA AND BONETTI: The creators of Tequila and Bonetti know that if you want folks to get on board for an L.A. dramedy about a New York cop and streetwise police partner dog, you should kick things off by trying to make you feel sorry for this asshole who “accidentally” murdered a kid. Seriously, that’s the route Tequila and Bonetti goes with this fucking insane opening that begins with newspaper headlines screaming “COP KILLS 12 YR OLD” while he cradles a black girl in her arms and then BOOM! we’re spun around to JACK SCALIA GRINNING AROUND WACKY LOS ANGELES AND ALL ITS CRAZY CHARACTERS LIKE A DOG THAT JUMPS THROUGH A FUCKING WINDOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? THIS IS LIKE IF SOMEONE STROKED OFF THE HANNITY VIEWING AND KEPT WHAT WAS SPURTED OUT ONSCREEN! It’s just a really, really, really bad intro.

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New from Al and Linda Lerner on Movies and Shakers: Dolemite is My Name

Eddie Murphy is back and a riot in a role as a smiling, potty-mouthed entrepreneur with style and chutzpah! He plays Rudy Roy Moore, the raunchy stand-up comedian, rap and blaxploitation movie pioneer who used it all to become a success in the 1970’s.

Director Craig Brewer (Hustle and Flow) loved Moore’s “glorious flaws” and makes this one fun film showing them off. Emmy and Golden Globe-winning writers Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski (Ed Wood, The People vs. O.J. Simpson and working on Coming 2 America) had fun putting words in Murphy’s mouth. The  secret to Moore’s success is that he stole what made others a success and came up with his own way of working on a persona. In this case, he becomes Dolemite! That’s right up Murphy’s alley. His talent is the ability to morph into any character and looks like he’s having a ton of fun playing Moore in this film.

The film shows how Moore, working in a record store, saw Moms Mabley, Redd Foxx and Richard Pryor’s filthy comedy records flying out the door and decided to make and market some of his own. Wrapped in brown paper, they were attractive to raunchy comedy fans. Moore is even credited with the first rap as he imitated his idol, Mohammed Ali, rhyming tropes like “ Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.” Of course, Moore’s fast-talking was filled with obscenity flashing a big, bright smile. 

Murphy carries well the flashy outfits topped with fedoras and a big bow tie to show off Moore’s success as he keeps recreating his bad self. Costume designer, Ruth E. Carter (Oscar winner for Black Panther) comes up with some crazy looks for Murphy to strut Moore’s stuff. Assorted Afro hairstyles of the ’70’s complete his look. And the dresses are sleek and silky for the ladies. 

Moore liked sexy, crime-based action movies and kung fu and decided to make himself the leading man in one himself. The scene where Murphy talks about how he’s going to act showing off what he thinks are kung-fu moves will crack you up. Moore took the money he earned from his stand-up comedy tours to bankroll his first raunchy, bloody, action movie. 

Moore hires a writer(Keegan-Michael Key) to write his alter ego starring role as a pimp coming out of prison who wants revenge on his enemy. He picks up a zaftig, side kick who is an ex-backup singer named Lady Reed played by DaVine Joy Randolph. Randolph is a full-figured actress who has a Masters from the Yale School of Drama. She’s also Tony nominated  and is a trained opera singer who plays very fine with Murphy in this role. No doubt you’ll be seeing more of her. 

Brewer really shows what Moore was able to do as a filmmaker. You see him scrambling with a make shift cast and crew, setting up scene after scene to shoot in a dilapidated hotel. Some of the best takes are from Wesley Snipes as D’Urville Martin, the director of Moore’s first Blaxploitation masterpiece. After each ridiculous scene, he looks at the camera with a dead-pan expression of befuddled confusion that is very funny. Credit to Murphy for hiring Snipes whose career had been halted by tax and legal problems. 

Moore’s first film became such a big hit, ($58 million in today’s dollars), that he made six more Blaxploitation films! You could compare it to “The Room” or “The Disaster Artist.” They were all bad, not in the good sense, but became popular nonetheless. 

You can tell Murphy had a good time making this film, every time he flashes that big smile. It is the perfect comeback for him having fun playing off Craig Robinson, Keegan-Michael Key, Chris Rock, Snipes and especially in scenes with Snoop Dogg. Snoop actually gives the real Moore credit for influencing his own style.  He says that if there were no  Rudy Ray Moore, there would have been no Snoop Dogg. 

Brewer likes stories about the underdog and this is no exception. Moore wanted to be somebody and he was a gutsy pioneer who knew how to tap into his own outrageous, obscene talent. Murphy gives Rudy Ray Moore plenty of personality in a perfect role for this talented actor. Dolemite is dynamite and because of Eddie Murphy, his name you’ll remember. 

Netflix/Davis Entertainment          1 Hour 57Minutes               R

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Comedy on Vinyl Podcast Episode 274 - Jim Hanna on Redd Foxx - Laff Of The Party (Volume 1) Before you say anything, we know that’s the wrong album cover – I lucked out and Volume 1 came in Volume 2’s sleeve.  Confusion abounded beforehand, but then we sat down and had a grand time talking about Redd Foxx, a guy neither Jim nor I were heavily familiar with before.  Jim is a great a View Original Post and Listen to Episode Here: http://bit.ly/2CmQy6h (via The Comedy on Vinyl Podcast)

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Episode 274 - Jim Hanna on Redd Foxx - Laff Of The Party (Volume 1) (via ComedyOnVinyl.com)

New Post has been published on ComedyonVinyl.com

Before you say anything, we know that’s the wrong album cover – I lucked out and Volume 1 came in Volume 2’s sleeve.  Confusion abounded beforehand, but then we sat down and had a grand time talking about Redd Foxx, a guy neither Jim nor I were heavily familiar with before.  Jim is a great actor who got his start on my favorite sitcom, NewsRadio, and who has gone on to be in a ton of things you’ve probably seen.

Host: Jason Klamm Producer: Mike Worden Guest: Jim Hanna

JimHanna.net Laff of the Party (Volume 1) on Vinyl

Check out Celery Sound Records, my new sketch comedy record label at bit.ly/comedyalbums

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