#not to be a savior or to assert some high ground of ‘good’ through acts i’m too tired for that shit. catholicism and all can go burn

[diluc33rpm]

1/3 Do we have a moral obligation to care for others? To what extent?

as in are you morally obligated to listen to this entire album? absolutely

[physicalturian]

[18+] Deranged Love - Hanma Shuji x F!Reader - Part 1

[Probably contains spoilers from the anime and the manga] [She/Her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone is +18]

Words: 9403

Archive of our own

Warnings : Explicit! / Blood / Injuries / Guns / Bruises / Choking / Blood / Graphic depiction of violence / Killing / Murder / Crying / Trauma /

Summary : Wrong place, wrong guy. Wrong in so many fucking ways it only made the attraction more sick and twisted...Yet I wanted more of him and would end up doing anything for him, with him.

If you feel like I should add more warnings, send me a dm or and ask, I'd rather be safe than sorry

- - -

Routine.

This would be how I would describe my way of life, a routine. I liked it like that, it was safe, comfortable and I was sure of what would happen. Far from me the idea of only doing the same things over and over again, I would sometimes go out with my friends or see a movie—doing things on a whim was not off the table. But I liked knowing what I was signing up for. Surprises, however, never were a thing I enjoyed—seeing my friends in my house when all I wanted was to relax after work was something dreadful and annoying to no end. I would pull through and be a good host, nonetheless, making sure everything was enjoyable, but I would be drained by the end of their stay.

Perhaps that need for reassurance, for a safety net, was the reason why I never truly took an artistic path or even considered any artistic career. It was too free, too unpredictable, too risky. Never could I have imagined myself doing such a thing; those who did were in my eyes the boldest and I admired them greatly for following their dream, but I was not bold, I preferred the solace of a job I knew would always bring me money. A simple 9 to 5 job was fulfilling enough for me; for some it was not, but I enjoyed it. It was something I could do and found relaxing to do, even when there was more rush. It just made sense to me.

There was not much thrill in this job. The people were nice enough; the clients were a bit bitter from time to time, depending on whether the job we had done was in their favor or not. Some of my colleagues would tell me crazy stories about some firms they had worked on or with and I would have a hard time believing it, but perhaps it was because different departments would deal with different types of clients. I had simple people: homeowners, tax payers, easy stuff. I liked it.

Now, even if I was keen on this routine that I had of going to my job, using the same transports, the same paths, headphones in to ignore the people around, I knew when following that same path would bring me trouble. I knew when to break that routine even just a little bit.

Tonight was one of those rare occasions. As I walked back home from work after having had to stay one more hour to help my colleague Darren fix his mistake—I made sure to tell him he owed me for helping him this late—I saw a group of men surrounding someone on the street. With one glance around, the entire street was empty except for those seven men and their victim. The usually crowded place was completely deserted and as I wondered how it could have happened, I noticed bikes at the end of the road blocking any possible traffic. It did not take a genius to know this was something far above me, there was no way I would interfere with that. Turning around, I made sure my steps were less heavy, less determined and started walking back. I did not have time to think I was going to get out of there safely when I heard, “Miss! Call the police-“. A thud sound, followed by a pained moan reached my ear.

When I dared look over my shoulder, I saw the man on his knees, blood pouring from his nose. I recognized him, he was a creepy older man that would sometimes stay longer on the train to look at younger women. Glancing at the other people around him, I kept my face as neutral as possible. Should I call the police? The outfits they wore all had the same sigil on them, the same pattern, and since they did not look like high schoolers I hardly believed those were school uniforms. Which led to the conclusion that they were the ones the news talked about a lot. The city was filled with gangs fighting over territory, not hesitating one bit to kill anyone who would cross them. I was sure of myself, assertive, yes… but I did not possess a savior complex. Seeing that man on the floor made me realize how wrong the system was, but I could not risk taking part in the situation and helping him. There were too many and clearly a lot scarier and stronger than I was. Looking away, I kept walking and heard them laugh, “That’s the right thing to do missy, he deserved it-“ “I said I was going to pay as soon as I got the money!” The victim interrupted; he was speaking very fast, but the fist smashing his jaw was faster to tell him to shut up. “It ain’t about that, you know it!”

Playing my music again, louder this time, I walked away and let them deal with everything, taking a different route than the one I would usually take. It’s alright to not have helped, you wouldn’t have made a difference… But he deserved it… I can still call the police… A turmoil inside my head started as I kept walking. After a few minutes, I grabbed my phone and dialed the police department’s number; they picked up quite fast, asking me what the emergency was. “There are gang members beating up a man in-“ “I’m sorry ma’am we can’t help with that, have a nice evening.” And just like that, the person on the other end of the phone hung up. Looking at my phone incredulously, I called again, all while taking a turn and walking by a warehouse, “Hello, you must have misunderstood me earlier—it is not a joke, there are gang members in the-“ This time, I was not interrupted by the person on the phone but by my arms being grabbed suddenly.

My heartbeat picked up, I suddenly felt sick and my head started spinning. When things like this happened, we’d always think it only happened to others, so when I realized it was happening to me, I did not feel well. Blood drained from my face, from my entire body. It all happened so fast: one moment I was walking past the warehouse, then suddenly my phone hit the ground and I joined it when I was thrown on it with force. My cheekbone took all the damage as someone pressed the side of my face onto the wet ground and made sure to put weight on my back to stop me from moving. I was shivering in fear already, but that fear only grew when my hair was pushed out of the way by a bloody hand, its knuckles painted red and brown from fresh and drying blood. The action did not feel one bit intimate, it was scary, intimidating. With the pressure on my back, I was pressed against the hard floor and could barely breathe, but in a situation like this I knew better than to talk.

I knew that. Yes.

So why did I talk? Why were my nerves acting up in moments like these?

“I am sure you got the wrong person—I’m just an accountant-“ A gun was now pressed against my cheek, I took it as a sign to shut up and did so. The man on my back twisted the gun a few times against my cheek, making me open my mouth from the weird movements against my teeth, like someone forcing a dog to open its jaws to get food out of it. “Aren’t we noisy? Tonight wasn’t the right night to feel heroic, girl.” The man asked as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I closed my eyes in discomfort, my breath hitching. Laughing sadistically, he continued talking, this time his tone lowered, “Rats shouldn’t snoop in businesses that aren’t theirs.” I felt the weight shift on my back, then heard him ask someone, “Keep beating him up, I’ll take care of her then we’ll continue having our fun,” His voice was stern but I still heard some tones of him being carefree, he was enjoying this. He then addressed someone else, “Sounds good to you?” The answer consisted of muffled cries, attempts at screams that were cut off by hits then a gun cocking. With a sigh, the man on me pulled the gun away from my face and tutted the man who was bound on his knees.

I felt the weight leave my back but did not dare move, I stayed right where I was. Steps on the humid ground were heard, getting away from me but clearly approaching the man who I assumed was being tortured. The gun fired soon after, startling me as I tensed up and closed my eyes a few seconds before opening them again. The crazy man that put me on the ground laughed loudly, “Come on, it’s just the thigh, you can still walk for now, yeah?” He had said. Turning my head to look at them, I saw the older man on his knees, hands tied behind his back and suit bloody. His tie was undone, and he had wounds all over his face and chest. “I said you can walk, yeah?” Recognizing the voice, I could put a face to my aggressor as I watched him remove his glove before grabbing the victim by his arm and making him stand up, only to force him to wobble a bit. “See! I am being nice! Talk and it’s all over, come on.” He cooed in something that could be seen as sweet if it wasn’t happening in a warehouse with violent people and a man bleeding on the ground.

“I told you! I don’t know anything I-“ The man with the long earring in his left ear did not think twice before punching the office worker in the face with enough force. I believe I heard his nose crack. I caught a glimpse of the tattoos adorning his hands but could not decipher, from how far I was, what was written on them. The crazy man laughed after the punch, “Wrong answer! Haha, you have one last chance, ok?” He said, leaning over so that his face was at the same level as the other man’s. From my place on the ground, I could only see the wicked smile on his face, and it made me feel uneasy. The tall violent man was clearly crazy, having such a man roaming the city did not seem safe at all and it scared me to think of what else was happening in the shadows. “Alright, alright, please Reaper-“ The man he called Reaper gripped his chin tight and chuckled, “Straight to point, I don’t have time to waste on vermin like you, you’re no fun.” He said as a matter of fact, as if they both believed this. His face had turned serious so quickly that I feared the moment I felt like I could escape, he would change his mind in half a second.

The bleeding man nodded quickly, tears streaming down his cheeks, “It’s Silas&Sons—That’s the name of the firm that discovered something was off-'' While I was left in shock at the mention of the firm I worked at, the Reaper grinned and brought the gun to the man’s forehead, “Wasn’t hard, was it?” the man tried to tell him not to shoot, adding that the violent one had promised he would stop. The latter shook his head, “I said it’ll all be over! Listen carefully next time,” He said the last part like a parent berating their child then winked and pressed the trigger, killing the man in less than a second as his body hit the ground, blood spattering behind him. The man with black and blond hair looked at the body on the ground and chuckled to himself, “There won’t be a next time, but you get the jest.” He huffed with a wave of his hand before handing back the gun he had been given earlier. Turning around, his eyes locked on mine. I widened my eyes in pure terror and turned my face to be in the position he had left me in; I was aware he had seen me, but I was hoping he would not mention it.

The other people that were in the room had gone silent and were probably all looking at me, the woman lying on the floor, shaking, dreading for her life. The odds of me coming out of this unscathed seemed to be decreasing the more I observed what was happening around me. A stinging pain reached my scalp making me hiss, as someone lifted my head from the ground to make me look at them. While turning my head their way, I saw two men sitting on a crate, one with two braids that were long enough to go down to his ribcage while the other had shorter purple hair and glasses. Boredom adorned both their features alongside blood stains on their outfits, and yet they were nonchalant about it. I saw a man leaning behind another crate but barely managed to catch a glimpse of his tattoo that the man called Reaper snapped his fingers in front of me. “Here, I’m your tormentor, not them, yeah?” He grinned. Meeting his gaze again, I forced myself to keep my mouth shut and kept my eyes on him.

“You’re being courageous, not even crying yet! You’re a fun one, gotta love it.” He said happily, his hand patting the cheek that had taken most of the damage when he slammed me on the ground. I flinched when I saw his hand approach my face then winced at the rough touch against the bruising skin. “What will I do with you little rat? Eavesdropping ain’t nice, tattling ain’t it either.” The latter was said in a more serious tone as his expression turned somber, any humor that dripped from his words a moment ago was completely gone and he was now looking at me with caution. “Get up, come on.” I did not have a choice, the grip in my hair did not slacken and I had to follow his movement to avoid most of the pain. My clothes were dirty and damp from the humid ground; I felt my legs shake as I got to my feet and hissed at the pain when he yanked my hair for me to follow him quicker.

Pushing me forward, he threw me against the crate where the two other men were sitting. Hitting my shoulder against the wooden item, I swore under my breath and was about to fall to my knees again when the man with the long braids wrapped his legs around my neck and somewhat choked me. Caught off guard, I gripped his shins tight and tried to break free, but his hold only tightened. I heard him mock me while he dug his heels deeper in my biceps from the position he was in, “Stop moving and it’ll stop hurting, fuck you’re stupid.” He sighed with disdain, bringing me closer towards him but it only pressed my neck against the wood. Gritting my teeth, I stopped trying to get him to let go and let my arms fall to my side, when I felt the choke weaken and took a large intake of breath while focusing my eyes anywhere but on the man in front of me.

The manic laughter I had now heard many times in those few minutes I was on the floor reached my ears again, “I can see you wanna live, what are you willing to do to stay alive?” He asked in a light tone. It was a real question, but I did not want to do anything. I wanted to punch them and make a run for it, but they had guns and strength, none of which I could match in any way. I kept my mouth shut again.

The Reaper chuckled again, “I don’t know if you keeping your pretty mouth shut is a curse or a blessing-“ he stopped himself and slapped my now undamaged cheek with as much force as he could, making me yelp at the pain. I kept my face turned the direction his hand had turned it, but he gripped my chin forcefully and made me look at him. His expression had turned almost sour as he stared right into my eyes, “Fucking answer the question, what are you willing to do?” he spat, his face only breaths away from mine. Keeping a frown on, I uttered, “I wasn’t calling on you, there were people blocking another road-“ His mouth contorted into a smile once again as he pushed my face against the crate before letting go as he threw his hands in the air, and turned around on himself once, “She speaks! God it’s so entertaining to see you’re—Still. Not. Crying.” He gritted through his teeth the last three words before leaning over once again, his face very close to mine just like before.

“You’re telling me it’s a coincidence then?” He asked in a playful tone, clearly mocking me.

Fuck I wanted to make a run for it and get away from here. My heart was trying to beat out of my chest the longer I spent time here, the only thought running through my mind was: I am going to die here. How else would I end up? He had killed a man that had told him what he wanted to know, so no matter what I said he would kill me, right? Stammering a bit, I nodded the best I could with legs still around my neck, “Yes, I hadn’t seen you were here, I-“

“You’re funny! I’ll give you that! God you’re-“ He pulled back and made a rapid movement of his arms approaching me, as if putting me on display, “You’re fun! Ran, let her go.” The first part was said in excitement, the latter in the utmost seriousness. The moment he had spoken those words, the man let go of my neck and I was about to stumble when the Reaper grabbed me by the shoulders. He was tall, strangely tall, way above average, and it only added to all the traits that already made him scary. My whole body tensed, I thought this was it. He glared at me for a few moments before speaking to one of his friends, his gaze never leaving mine, “What do we know?”

An unknown voice reached my ear, it was close, so it must have been the other man on the crate, “Seems like a civilian, said she was an accountant. She also seemed surprised when the vermin said Silas&Son.” That perked the Reaper’s interest.

“Oh, so the little girl knows things. Have they sent you?” He asked, forcing me to look up by gripping my chin once more. He did not care the amount of strength he used, he couldn’t care less if I was uncomfortable, to him I was just a puppet that he could throw around and play with. Clearly he was right since I moved along and did not fight back. If I did, I would die, I was sure of it. “I was walking home from work—I saw my usual path was blocked and people were ganging up against a man so I-“ “You ran? The rat isn’t one for conflict, eh?” He patted my head and smiled almost reassuringly before letting go of me, making sure I fell on the floor. “Then? Make this quick, this ain’t the time for a bedtime story.”

“I called the police so that they could check—they said it was none of their business so I tried again and you-“ Fuck I was stuttering, the stress was too much and once I had fallen on my back, he was a lot more intimidating. He could just pull out his gun and shoot me, I could not get up with how I was shaking.

“You tried to do the right thing, right?” He asked, his back now turned to me. I could not gauge his emotion, so I replied sincerely, “Yes, it was all that I could do-“

Suddenly he turned around and pointed a gun at me, grinning, “Wrong! You could have helped the poor, poor man on the street, yeah? But you didn’t, why?” I did not reply right away, so he waved the gun around before crouching right in front of me and taking a good look at me. “They were too many-“ “That never stops a hero, does it? It’s all about charisma, determination, letting your body act faster than your brain, no?” He asked rhetorically, but while I waited for him to continue he sighed and looked down, his gun dropping lower as his arm fell limp. He started mumbling to himself a moment, using the gun to scratch his hair. Perhaps it was not the most adequate time to do so, but I looked at his outfit and saw he was wearing suit pants and a white business shirt. Quite the outfit for a murderer, but he had made sure to pull his sleeves up to not stain it. He was right in doing so since all the blood from earlier was on his black gloves and his forearms.

“Tell me, rat,” He slowly looked up and gave me a wicked smile, “Are you a hero?” He brought the gun to my forehead and all I did was close my eyes in fear. A sob escaped my lips as I tried to back away, but I was only met with the wooden crate, accidentally bumping my head against the shoes of one of the men sitting on it. “Do you believe there is good in this world? That it deserves to be saved? Hm? Would you die for this pathetic excuse of a world?” He pressed the gun even more against my skin. I heard the click as he disengaged the safety and tried to close my eyes even more than how I had already shut them, but found it impossible. My entire body was shaking, there was no helping the sobs escaping my mouth even by covering it.

I felt a gentle hand push my hand away and opened my eyes in confusion, only to see that the man who was holding a gun against me was grinning, “Answer the question.” He turned the gun horizontally and rested his arm on his knee as he placed his head on his free hand, completely relaxed. Getting lost in thoughts, I stared emptily at him while he started counting down, “Three…” Am I a hero? How would one describe a Hero? None of the mythological heroes could define me, none of those famous franchises either. “Two, think faster.” What answer did he want? Should I give him what he wants, or should I just be honest? “One-“

“I’m not a hero, I didn’t call right away because he deserved it, I-“ Taking a deep breath, I tried to take a hold of myself and calm down the best I could. “He harassed people, no one ever did anything about it-“

“See! Wasn’t hard, was it? Good girl,” He patted my head before moving the gun under my chin and raising it with the end of the gun, his finger never leaving the trigger, “You’re also a bad person then, you’re like us, right? Some people do deserve to die!”

Shuddering, I took a shaky breath and inhaled, “I’m nothing like you-“ “If he died it’s because ye didn’t act quick enough, don’t you agree?” He inquired with a pleading look, the mockery never leaving his tone. “I don’t, no.” My words were followed by the gun leaving my person as the man stood up quickly and barked out a laugh before asking his friends if they had heard that, they only grumbled in reply. He tucked the gun in the back of his pants and I quickly let my head down in fear I had triggered him somehow, frightened it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. “I like you, accountant woman. I just wanna see one thing to know what I should do with you—well two, but I’ll start slow.” Bringing his arm behind his back, I tensed again but then felt the gun hit my ankle as he threw it at me.

“Shoot me,” He ordered as he crouched in front of me, his arms crossed over his knees while grinning broadly. “I killed a guy, right? I am bad, killing me should make you a hero.” His little speech was stupid, it only started a vicious cycle of death with no end. Killing a killer that killed one person? It’d make me a killer that killed one person, and so on. But he brought his hand to mine and wrapped my fingers around the handle of the gun before pressing it against his forehead. “Here, you can’t miss from this close, show me you got guts! Come on, do it.” That grin turned into something scary, manic, he was getting off on the thrill. But my hands were shaking, I had never held a gun before, never intended to, but tonight was nothing if not exceptional. When I tried to put my arm down, he grabbed my elbow and kept it up, “It’s you or me, come on, make this fun for both of us-“ “I’m not shooting you in the head! You’re insane-“

Hearing my words well, he barked a laugh then guided the gun to his heart, one of the men behind me sighed and told him to hurry up, but the Reaper only shushed him. “Here, then? Sounds better?” Nothing was right in his head; I couldn’t understand what he was doing. No matter how hard I tried, I did not know the point he was making, but taking all this time to think about it made me lose the position of power he had given me. Forcing my hand to let go of the gun, he took it and, at the speed of light, put it in my mouth, making a sob escape it as he did so. “That’s a missed opportunity, too bad.” He shrugged then as I saw him press the trigger. I closed my eyes, my hands gripping my thighs so tight, it must have left some marks under the fabric of my pants.

The click of the trigger echoed, and I felt myself jump on the spot at how loud the bang was—so this is it? That thought crossed my mind rapidly, but was shoved aside by the loud ringing in my ears. I then heard footsteps echoing around the warehouse. The gun was no longer in my mouth, there were no bullets, it was a blank; I felt my stomach churn and opened my eyes in panic before pushing my tormentor away. I was surprised when he let me do so, but it was better for him. Slamming my hands down, I was on the floor as I emptied my stomach on the concrete. Chuckles reached my ears along with the whispers of a few words, “Can’t even stomach a bit of gun play.” “Should have killed her, blood stench leaves easier than vomit.” The latter comment made one of them laugh.

When I was done, I thought for a second that death was quick, most of the time. And when it wasn’t, you expected it, you weren’t filled with stress. Hence why no one ever spoke of post-mortem vomit. It made me laugh only for a second until I was pushed back on my ass when the man with the earring pressed his foot against my chest, making me wince. “Your name, what is it?” he asked seriously.

Feeling some sort of confidence build up, I looked up at him and leaned over, using the hem of his pants to wipe my mouth, but did not answer. The seriousness on his face turned into the look of someone who had been challenged; he snapped his fingers, then I heard someone say my name, my birthdate and my birthplace. Looking at the person who kept reading out loud, I saw the man with a tiger tattoo on his neck approach before tossing my wallet at me. I did not know when they had found the time to pickpocket me, but they managed to. My cheeks were burning up from the sickness, the stress and the embarrassment this entire situation brought but I still tried to keep my head high, for what it was worth. Bringing my hands to my face, I only now felt the tears that had rolled down my cheeks.

“Okay little tattletale, I think I’ll let you go for now-“ “Are you not going to kill me? Isn’t this what you do?” I asked in a weak voice, not even attempting to get up after all the time you had been mishandled. Both the man with the earring and the tattooed one were standing in front of me. The former reached out for my hand to help me get up, I did not take it, so he sighed loudly and bent over to grab my bicep and forcefully get me up. “We only kill snitches and annoying fucks, are you one of those?” I was about to tell him no when he leaned over suddenly and pressed his index against my lips to shut me up. Startled, I tried to step back but he held the back of my head with his free hand and beamed, “No, you’re not. You’re gonna be useful, you’re just the right amount of malleable,” The finger that had left my mouth moved to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, I shivered in disgust, “I can see it in your eyes that you’ll be a fun one to work with.”

I tried to pull away from him, but his hand gripped my hair tight and kept me in place, stopping me from leaning back when he approached closer, “Since you’re not a hero, we’ll make you a villain then—I mean, it’s not going to be hard considering your stance on killing.” He grimaced at that before turning it into a full laugh and letting go of me.

“Rindou, take her back to her place-“ “I’m not doing that, I got plans with Ran. Send the tiger boy, we’re done for tonight.” The one with purple hair and glasses said as he hopped off the crate, followed by the other man on it. It made the Reaper’s face turn sour as he gripped the one who had just spoken and tightened his hold on his shoulder, “I don’t do escorting, that’s your job.” He gritted through his teeth.

Seeing the tension, I put my wallet back in my bag and cleared my throat, “I’ll—I can walk home on my own, by now they must be gone-“ All of them looked at me with a threatening gaze, I felt like a deer caught in headlights. The man with the braids started walking off, Ran was his name I believe, along with the man with the tattoo on the neck, while the two others stayed right there and glared at me. When I took a step back, taking their silence for permission, the Reaper wrapped his arm around my shoulders and held me close to him, “Right, I’ll do it tonight. Just because she’s a fun one-“ “I can walk home alone, it’s no problem,” I tried to push him away, my hands were shaky and had a few scraps. Without the constant manhandling, not that I missed it, I could feel the dampness of my clothes and how cold it was getting.

Looking down at me without any expression on his face, the Reaper turned us around and waved everyone goodbye, his arm never leaving my shoulders. “We both know that’s not true, if we let you walk home alone you might get beaten up by—how did you put it? ‘Gang members’, yeah, that was what you said on the phone.” He hummed, shoving his free hand in his pocket as he guided us outside. I felt uneasy in his hold, I felt like he was walking me towards my execution. I did not want to lead him to my house, but what choice did I have? He would find it sooner or later; at least that’s what he said, but I did not know how much truth there was to it. In my eyes, it was but a small group of violent men that had killed someone.

“In the end you did get beaten up by a gang member, but it could’ve been worse.” He said lightheartedly as he stopped in front of a car. When I paused my steps and still did not look at him, simply waiting for his next move, I felt him grab my chin and turn my head towards him. My breath hitched in fear as I met his golden eyes. He seemed a bit bored now, but I couldn't care less how he felt, I wanted to bolt away from his touch. “You should disinfect that, and you’ll definitely bruise, but you probably have makeup or something to hide that.” He shrugged.

When he leaned over again, I brought my hands in front of me and closed my eyes to stop him from touching me, but I only heard him huffing a laugh next to my ear as he opened the door of the passenger seat. “Get in, I’ll drop you off.” Looking up at him, I blinked a few times then glanced at the inside of the car. I don’t know what I was expecting, something dirty, bloody, disgusting perhaps. But instead, it was perfectly clean, not a speck of dirt in sight. It looked like an expensive car, but perhaps it was just very clean, I did not know. Still unsure, I hesitantly got inside and was about to close the door but felt a certain strength holding it back. The man was leaning on the door and bent over to peek his head inside the car, thinking he needed something. I pressed myself more against the seat to let him grab what he wanted, but his hand reached for the belt and fastened it for me.

“Wouldn’t want you to escape—ah, I mean, safety first.” He said mockingly before winking and slamming the door shut. My hands found their way to the belt and held it tight as I watched him walk around the car. His steps were too big for me to make a run for it, he would catch up on me in no time, I was stuck with him. As he entered the vehicle and fastened his own seatbelt, he pointed at the glove box and handed me his gloves, “Put them back and hand me a wipe, tattletale.”

His craziness was a lot more toned down, for a second I wondered how many faces this man had. The one I was seeing right now was intimidating from how put together he seemed, the other one was scary from how unexpected his actions were. “Why aren’t you killing me?” I asked without looking at him, focused on pushing the gun out of the way inside the glove box and grabbing the little pack of wipes. Giving it to him, his brow was quirked, “Because you’re a good girl,” He grinned, wiping his hands as he continued, “No one would ever suspect you’re working with the likes of a gang. You’re gonna be useful and that’s all that matters, you should be thankful I didn’t kill you. I hate people who eavesdrop.” He said, as he shoved the wipe in the door compartment.

“I didn’t eavesdrop.” I muttered, looking outside the window when he started the car. The laugh that erupted out of nowhere scared me, making me tense again, I dared to look his way and saw his manic smile again. “So, you’re an accountant, pretty boring. You should be thrilled I chose you.” He said in a mix of pride and humor before increasing the volume of the music then drumming his fingers on the wheel. Thinking about his words some more, I glanced his way and lowered the volume, catching his attention as he looked me dead in the eyes. “What if I don’t want to work with you?” I asked, measuring my tone to not piss him off, it did not take a genius to understand this man was unstable and that I needed to tread lightly around him.

Even with as much care as I put in my voice, his reaction was sudden when he turned the wheel and stopped the car on the side of the road. Passing cars honked in annoyance but the man did not care one bit while I had slammed my hand on the dashboard to stop my head from hitting it. Insulting him under my breath, I looked up and saw he had placed his arms on the wheel, his left cheek resting on his forearm. “Then leave. Get out right now, nothing’s stopping you.”

“What’s stopping me is that you’ll kill me, or you’ll run me over, multiple times,” I could see the smile on his face was spreading, but he did not move. The condescendence in his lack of reaction, of action, annoyed me but at the same time frightened me, was he going to slam my head against the window? Against the dashboard? I did not know, but I continued, stammering this time from how nervous I was becoming, “My life is on the fucking line, that’s what’s holding me back.” I spat. My eyes had never left his, even as his smile turned into a grin and his slender fingers gripped the wheel tighter.

When he did not look away, I did. At the same time, I turned on the seat and fully looked ahead instead of facing him. A silence set for a moment then I heard the car start and the man sighed, content, “You’re smart to stay, you’re only alive because I can use you. If you had left, I’d have shot you and left you on the side of the road to die.” He said in a light tone. The words he had spoken had the same effect of a bullet; my guts took a hit without being truly hit. I did not have a choice at all, I was stuck working for a man I did not know without even knowing what I had to do.

His hand rose and I closed my eyes, flinching slightly, “Type in your address, tattletale.” With the little confidence that remained, I lifted my shaky hand and typed it in while telling him that I had a name. Then added, “You should use it. Maybe there is a name I can call you by?” I was not asking for his ID, nor anything specific, if he had a codename in his stupid gang or something like that I would go with it, but calling him Reaper in my head sounded idiotic. “Sorry doll, I think nark or snitch suits you a lot more.” He hummed a moment, throwing me a glance from the corner of his eyes as his hands moved on the wheel absent-mindedly. Huffing in annoyance, I placed my elbow against the window and rested my chin against my fist, thinking he was done. After all, why should I care what he called me? I should simply call him an asshole if he was so keen on calling me a snitch. Or perhaps I should live up to the title and do exactly that, tell the police.

A hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me out of my daydream with my head bumped against the window. Wincing in pain, I heard the man laugh loudly while being focused on the road, “That’s deserved for not paying attention.” He said through laughter. “Pay attention to what? The road? I’m not the one driving-“ “To me, you should keep your guard up, snitch. Who knows what I could do.” He said with a deadpan expression. Without looking at me, he brought his hand to tuck my hair out of the way, then glanced at me and smirked. His touch was light, almost gentle. It allowed me to get a proper look at his tattoo, but I could not focus on it at all, I only tensed up before feeling him grip my throat and bring me closer to him. I made a choking sound and complied to avoid as much pain as possible, “You can call me Hanma, as long as you don’t scream it from every fucking rooftop.”

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. This night was not going as planned at all and every time I found any respite, it would be ruined, and the man would turn violent again. I could not let my guard down, I knew it but when he would just stay put, I could not help myself but think he was done. Clearly he wasn’t. His hold lessened a bit, so I took the opportunity to claw his hand away and pull myself back, my own hand around my throat in protection. “They called you the Reaper.” I croaked, wanting him to talk more so that I wouldn’t have to.

“They did, yeah.” He shrugged.

That was it. He did not add anything else. The matter was closed. When I asked him why they did that, he pulled the car on the side of the road again, startling me in the process. With how on edge I was, I did not realize where we were and thought he would be mad again, but instead he looked over my shoulder and nodded, “That’s you, get out.” He told me as his left arm rested on the wheel while the right one was on the back of the seat, casually leaning on it while looking at me. Looking behind me, I saw my house and felt some hope at finally being able to get home and yet… I did not leave right away and instead prodded, “The news talks about your gang, how many people did you kill?” His eyes traveled from my head to my hands then up to my head again, the arrogance never leaving his face as he leaned back against the car door and waved a hand dismissively, “Take a guess, I think it should be fun.”

I was about to give him a number when he leaned forward quickly, his face right in front of mine as he whispered, “Don’t forget those in comas or those at the hospital, they might not be dead, but they might as well be,” He chuckled happily then approached even closer, his lips right next to my ear, “They’re only alive because I said they could be, like you are. One wrong move and,” leaning back quickly, he clapped his hands, “Bang, dead.” He said dead meaning those in the hospital, but I fully understood he was threatening me, I was not an idiot.

Taking this as my cue to go, I unbuckled my seatbelt and when I was about to open the door, I heard the mechanism of the car locking it. Turning around to look at Hanma, I wordlessly asked if he needed anything else. His hand reached out towards me, “Your phone.”

“I didn’t record this or anything, I was not on a call with the police either, I-“ snatching it from my hand while I was rambling, Hanma tried to unlock it but instead was met with a locked screen. Hesitantly, I took it from his hand, mine being a lot shakier than his seeing how steady his were and unlocked it before giving it back to him. A minute passed and he handed the phone back to me, “We’ll be in contact. Things are gonna change for you, doll. Hope you’re ready for what’s coming.”

He was an unusual character, he was confusing, violent, and surely insane. All of those things added up in my mind, making me accidentally let it slip, “How can one be ready with you? Crazy man…” I said it all under my breath and huffed the last part as I pushed the door open. I let out a sigh when the door opened easily, part of me even thanked the man for not keeping me in any longer but I was still on my toes, certain he would say something else as I left the car, but he did not.

Grabbing my bag, I shuffled away from the car that still hadn’t moved and kept glancing over my shoulders until I reached the door where I struggled to put the key in the keyhole. At each failed attempt my frustration grew, the swears flooded out of my mouth easily and soon it turned into a stupid crying of frustration. “Fuck this, fucking shit-“ when the key finally fit, I hurried inside and locked the door behind me again but this time with the sliding lock, knowing full well I would struggle again too much to lock my door with the key seeing how tensed I still was.

The darkness of my home was what welcomed me. It was awful, it was cold and above everything it felt oppressive—my face was heating up, I was suffocating, my clothes were burning my skin, but I was also shaking. Fanning my face, I made my way to the bathroom with heavy steps, my breath was quickening, was it breathing or heaving? I needed to calm down, I needed to ground myself but I did not know how, this never happened but I felt like I was dying. I could not breathe, my lungs hurt at each intake of breath. “Fuck, fuck, shit, calm down“ I panted while taking off my clothes, I needed to take everything off, I wanted to burn them, it was filthy, disgusting and smelled wretched.

As I took off my top, I caught a whiff of the stench of the warehouse and let out a sob but did not let it stop me even if I could not breathe. I removed the rest of my clothes and knelt by the bath, leaning over to turn the shower on but did not wait for it to be warm to step inside and let it pour all over my dirtied body. The coldness made me take a deep breath that seemed to have helped with the panic attack I was having, but it did not help the crying, so I let it all out while I was washing up. What have I gotten myself into? What happens next? What am I supposed to do now? Is he going to ask me to kill someone? Am I going to have to use a gun? I didn’t want to do any of those, I only walked by something I had nothing to do with and—letting out a scream of frustration, I sat down in the bath and let the water rain on me. I ran my hands through my wet hair and placed my elbows on my knees, grunting again, “I don’t do gangs… I do numbers, I don’t have time to murder people…” I mumbled.

Letting my own words sink in, I let out a chuckle at first and focused my gaze on the wall in front of me then laughed again, shortly. I don’t have time to murder people, yeah… “Because if you had time you would?” I asked myself jokingly as I stood up, laughing again. Shaking my head, I shut the shower off and got out, almost slipping on the water that had splattered around the bath. I hadn’t taken time to put a towel on the floor or prepare anything, fortunately I managed to balance myself and took one from the closet. Once I was dry, I wrapped my robe around my form and stopped in front of the mirror, taking a proper look at the damage I had taken.

The scratch on my cheekbone was bruised, there was another bruise on my neck that I could probably hide with a turtleneck, the season allowed it, and if not with a turtleneck then a scarf would do the trick. Disrobing myself just to take a look at the rest of it, I had some bruises on my arms where I was grabbed to be moved roughly, without counting the pain on my ass but no one would see that. Passing my tongue over my teeth, I was glad as I still had all of them, but my jaw hurt, “Did I bite the inside of my cheek? At what moment could-“ A flashback of when the man slapped me with full force appeared in my mind, fueling me with a bad feeling of uneasiness as I put back my robe. “Bastard…” I huffed before opening the door of my bathroom and stepping inside the dark room again. Talking to myself, I continued, “Nothing’s stopping me from telling the police, who does he think he is? I could very well call them, yeah…” I paused in my steps and scoffed dryly, “Not that they’d listen.”

The news was always talking about the gangs in the city, telling us that the police were working on stopping them, but no one knew the people that were supposed to defend and help were a bunch of sellouts, bribed out idiots. The system we had put our trust in had decided to fuck us over and to leave us to ourselves, it was because of them that I was in this situation. It’s not like it had been hard to stumble upon one of their gang meetings. They might claim discretion, but if anyone could find them, it was anything but. “Who am I kidding? I am fucked,” I barked a laugh and turned on the light, “Guess I am a gang member-“ I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the man my thoughts were plagued with, sitting on my couch, his legs crossed with one ankle over a knee. “Not exactly, you still need to prove yourself. But I love the enthusiasm!” He said while placing an arm on the back of the couch and looking at me with a satisfied smile, not even fully facing me, only to look right ahead once he was done talking.

Usually, one would say don’t turn your back on your enemy, but he was the predator here, he had nothing to fear, I was the one shaking in my metaphorical boots. Deciding to not be useless, I was about to shuffle to the kitchen discretely when I saw him beckon me closer by bending his index finger. Thinking I could play it off as not having seen it, I took one step towards the kitchen when I heard him click his tongue over his teeth, “I said, come here.” Stopping dead in my tracks, I did not speak, and silently opened my bag to pull out my phone and start recording. His hand gripped the back of the couch and I heard him chuckle mockingly, “Ran said you were stupid, but we both know you’re not, now come.” Putting the phone properly on the furniture, I followed his order and walked up to him to stand right in front of him, my arms crossed over my chest to close my bathrobe up to my neck.

“How the fuck did you get in?” I spat. He was not driving, which meant he could not throw me out of a speeding car. He was not surrounded by other maniacs either, and if he had a gun and decided to shoot me, I would have proof of it. There was a semblance of safety, even amidst the fact that the man had broken in without caring. It led me to have some confidence.

The man grinned and leaned over, his elbows resting on his knees. His demeanor was one of a man in control, he knew he could do anything to me because I would bend, he said it himself, I was malleable. But not for lack of will, simply by fear. And if he kept bending me this much, I would not last long, I would break. As long as I feared him, he had the upper hand… but I was not feeling fearless yet. With a low chuckle, he simply said, “Broke in with pliers,” then showed me the pair of pliers lying on the couch. I glanced at my door and saw the chain of my lock was broken as he had said, but that loss of attention directed to him annoyed him. Snapping his fingers, he brought my attention back to him, “Here, you should make a double of your key-“ “I’m not doing that. First, you’ll pay me back for breaking my lock, then if you want to meet up for whatever you got planned for me, you pick a spot but not-“

My breath hitched when Hanma rapidly stood up, his form towering mine as he looked down at me with his hair falling randomly on his forehead. “We got a lotta confidence suddenly, don’t we? Go ahead, finish your sentence, I’m listening.” He cooed in a condescending tone, his face approaching mine as he hovered slightly over me. Looking up at him, I looked down to his chest feeling my confidence wane slightly. When I tried to step back, not liking how close he was to me, he placed his hand on my shoulder to stop me. “Come on partner, let it all out, you seem to have a lot on your mind. Keeping it all bottled up ain’t gonna end up well. We should get along if we’re gonna work together, yeah?” He said in a fake listening attitude, we both knew he didn’t care but I was riled up and clenched my fists.

“I don’t want you in my house, you’re a piece of shit. I don’t want to get along, I want you to fuck off—Get out.” I managed to say everything without stuttering, but his grip tightened on my shoulder, making me tense up even if it was not painfully tight. Simply knowing that nothing was holding him back, not his mind, nor his ethics, nothing. His mood was the turning point of his actions, which means one change of emotion could make him go feral and hit me, it scared me. Hissing mockingly, he tilted my chin up to make me look at him, a smirk adorning his face, “Make me leave then, do something about it.” Grabbing both my shoulders, he pushed me back slightly then spread his arms wide, a huge smile on his face, “Go ahead, I won’t do anything—it’s free hits,” He taunted. When I did not move, he pointed at his face and licked his lips like an animal looking at its next meal.

“Do it, show me your guts, little rat! I hit you right? I put a gun to your head, that must be so annoying, right?” Biting the inside of my cheek, I could feel my frustration building up inside me again. He had done all those things, and no regret was written on his face, none. He had killed a man, broken inside my house, manhandled me and hit me. He had mocked me, humiliated me, mistreated me and while it all happened in a short time span, I already felt strongly about him. Reminding myself all that, I hadn’t realized the hit that flew from my person until it landed on his jaw, my fist feeling like it had hit a wall. His face turned to the side by the end of the action.

Using the heel of his hand to wipe the blood that dripped from his mouth, he looked at me with hooded eyes and grinned, his teeth colored red, “That’s hot, but ye shouldn’t have done that.”

[Part 2]

[fannishcodex]

I actually have mentioned this before, but I’m putting in its own post:

I had a lot of hopes and expectations for Buff Frog too, and I felt he was a wasted opportunity in the TV movie.

Buff Frog before the TV movie had this awesome development as an individual and a monster doing what he can to resist mewman oppression overall for the sake of his family and his people, while still growing to care for Star when she acts differently from other mewmans he’s likely encountered. This includes what seems to be his own specific plot arc, when he tries to get past the magic force field to the hoard of food the mewmans keep for themselves, food his family and people need. He does this specifically for two episodes.

The magic fritz is happening, and it apparently reaches a high point in the TV movie with knocking out a lot of magic, leaving the formerly dominant mewmans at a disadvantage. This should apply to the force field around the hoard of food, that magical force field should have been disrupted and brought down. I’m pretty sure, if I recall correctly, that’s shown briefly to have actually happened. /Why/ doesn’t Buff Frog take advantage of that? Why don’t any of the other monsters he had been working with take advantage of this, Boo Fly, hedghehog monster, bulldog monster, etc.? Buff Frog had not started his conflict with the magic mewman force field alone, he had allies who shared in his goal of breaking through that and getting the food it hoarded away. As @lemonadesoda pointed out to me in chat, it would’ve also made sense for Buff Frog and co. to have kept up surveillance over the magic force field, like Boo Fly could have kept an eye on it, and noticed when the magic fritz brought it down.

While Buff Frog’s fondness for Star continues to be sweet, I don’t think it should have outweighed his own individual character and continuing arc. In the TV movie, what does Buff Frog actually do? He mostly just supports Star, and doesn’t really have his own individual input on the whole matter. He doesn’t have a distinct POV on the TV movie’s situation, because he really should have a different perspective on the mewmans losing their magic, from his place as a monster oppressed by mewmans and their magic. And even if it could be rationalized as Buff Frog is really just doing all this for Star, his willingness to just go along with Moon is kinda maddening. The big “Puddle Defender” scene is doubly frustrating because it does come close to some real quality, but it stumbles badly when Buff Frog doesn’t maintain his anger or aggression with Moon when she really deserved it, and it would have made sense given Buff Frog’s lot in life so far and what he has likely gone through before as a monster trying to survive in a mewman-dominated world. Moon’s reaching out for common ground doesn’t really change or fix anything for Buff Frog’s status. Moon doesn’t even really seem to get it still; that this common ground isn’t enough, or actually doesn’t exist as she thinks it does. @lemonadesoda brought up this really good alternative idea in chat, that Buff Frog did not have to accept Moon’s conclusion--he could have and should have rejected her. Rejected Moon’s assertion they were the same with, “No, we aren’t.” Because the massive power imbalance still exists between them. And Moon is really missing the point--I swear, Moon does not actually apologize to Buff Frog for the horrible stuff she said about monsters in general. She just skips over to essentially thinking, “well, Buff Frog is a parent, so he must be all right in that at least;” she skips to--and this is what it feels like to me--making Buff Frog an /exception/, that he’s /not like the other monsters because he’s a parent like her/. And it of course bugs me that Moon’s not called out on this right then and there, and that episode/section of the TV movie leaves her unchallenged and feeling like she discovered something new and amazing. If she’s called out for it later, great--but I think her not getting called out for it in the TV movie even a little/largely getting away with it is one of the problems with the TV movie and lowers its overall quality.

The elephant in the room--I want Star to realize her entire society is in the wrong and she takes steps to help change that, but I don’t want it to end up that she “saves” the monsters and everyone. I don’t want something like the White Savior trope. Enter the main monster characters from the start of the show--Buff Frog, Ludo, Toffee. I want actual teamwork between Star and those monsters on fighting mewman oppression, but then also actually leaning more toward the monsters do actually perform the most work in changing their fate, with Star helping them and bettering herself. While I want Ludo and Toffee to go in this direction too, along with Buff Frog, I’m focusing on just Buff Frog right now for this--so, I was really thinking Buff Frog would continue to develop as an independent force for the betterment of his kind, and would in terms of story mechanics really help make sure it didn’t get White Savior tropey with Star. After the TV movie, I’m concerned about this. My trust in the crew isn’t there anymore. I’m not sure if this is going to be executed well. I really don’t want Buff Frog just supporting Star, I want Buff Frog as an active player in improving the lives of his own people, and to be allowed to have his own distinct voice and POV.

[requiem-dailyprophet]

Witch Tips and Horoscopes 5/1~5-7/2019

Aries

March 21-April 19

Your words are powerful, and certainly not meaningless this week. While you may go back and forth deciding the best way to express yourself, the New Moon offers you the chance to assert your views without drama. Owning and standing in your truth will prove challenging throughout the week, as you are pushed to make many karmic choices around professional goals. Deciding which venture is worth your energy is dependent on how valued you feel. Don’t be afraid to ask for more than your regular rate—you may be surprised by what you are offered. The same advice proves fruitful in personal relationships. Asking for more will yield high rewards, as long as you communicate honestly and effectively about your needs, leaving the subject open for negotiation. Listen to others and they will meet you half way.

Taurus

April 20-May 20

After a mini hibernation, you are coming back in the limelight stronger and wiser than ever. The New Moon pushes you to get back into the swing of things. However, there still is a fine line you must cross this week between working and nurturing yourself. Finding a balance between what you give to others and what you take for yourself will be challenging in the beginning of the week.  Obligations consume your schedule, yet you want to enjoy the merriments of life away from the office enjoying the springtime air. Divide your time 3 ways—split between “you” time, work time, and time with others. This will allow you to find the equilibrium you need and rest before your anxieties take control. A hot calming bath with CBD oil, rose petals, and Himalayan salt will elevate you toward tranquility.

Gemini

May 21-June 20

No other zodiac sign knows better than you that words can hurt. While you may be tempted to get one last definitive statement out there to others who have offended you this week, you may want to take a step back and think your feelings through before cutting others down to size. What may feel good in the moment, will wind up eventually hurting you down the road. Before asserting your opinions and hurts on others, write down your feelings on a piece of paper, or send an email to yourself expressing your sentiments. This will help you understand your emotions better and allow you to release the built up frustrations and anxieties from within. If you still desire one-on-one communication, it’s advisable to call upon a mutual acquaintance to act as the buffer to minimize collateral damage.  

Cancer

June 21-July 22

After weeks of focusing on others, you are finally reclaiming your personal power. The caveat, is that you still may be struggling to loosen your claws away those who do not serve your best interests, as the ups and downs of these relationships have proven to be exhilarating. Unfortunately, this is a false security. While you may enjoy the highs and lows of such partnerships, as they keep you on your toes, it will prove mentally and emotionally exhausting by the weekend. The New Moon asks you to place all that pent up energy on healing yourself, not others. Reevaluating your role in such circumstances and relationships will give you much food for thought, allowing you to rethink your past behavior. While you may be inclined to work out issues with others, put your needs first. Take time for yourself this week, then decide your next move.

Leo

July 23-August 22

Life has been a tad monotonous lately. The same old routines are making you lustful for excitement. Whether it’s your fiery thirst for adventure, or your desire for higher minded pursuits—you are in the mood to battle on all fronts (physically, emotionally, and mentally) this week. However, you are also feeling emotionally fierce and protective, which may inspire arguments to occur. Rather than battle with others, challenge yourself to grow within and use your gusto to break down the restraints of your subconscious mind through mindful breathing. Mindful meditation will help you connect on a deeper level with the self (body, heart, and mind), as well as understanding your feelings on a soulful level. Adding this healing technique to your day-to-day activities (even for two minutes a day) will prove beneficial in the long run. 

Virgo

August 23-Sept. 22

This week you are cosmically called upon to take a leap of faith—within others and yourself. While you may feel as though you are standing by the edge alone, you must believe in the higher good of those you hold dear. Even if people seem uninterested and busy, you can rely on their support. More importantly, learn to listen to the voice inside your head. Trusting your sentiments may be challenging, as past events have made you weary of your intuition. Don’t ignore your inner-voice. More often than not, it can be a savior from mistakes. Also, make sure to connect with like-minded people who can sympathize with your issues within your community. It’s hard to take risks alone. If your friends are busy,  then it’s important for you to meet others (who are going through similar situations) which can be a solid soundboard.

Libra

Sept. 23-Oct. 22

Life has been moving at an accelerated pace for you, throwing your scales off-balance. This week calls for you to take steps to reorganize and revise all sectors of your life. Making lists may be beneficial. However, you need to change your strategy in how you implement tasks. Compartmentalizing and prioritizing will allow you to focus on that which is urgent. Blocking out distractions and vampirism will add more vitality to your day. Your time will free up and your vibe will be high, as a result of disconnecting from those who drain your energy. Also, don’t be afraid to say “no.” Creating boundaries, setting limits, and turning down work can feel freeing. The final and missing piece of the puzzle, to maintain your balance, is to allot more time toward self-care. Indulge yourself as a reward for your hard work.

Scorpio

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

This week forces you to evoke your strategic mind, in order to win big against those who aim to hold you down. In the past, you have lost your temper and fought hard for others to see your views. This week, you are using your mind to allow others to take notice of your splendor. Manipulative games and hurtful words will seem like a waste of time, as you are realizing that you are spending more time engaging in drama than evolving your situation towards greatness. This may result in you draining your energy on nonsense, rather than the endgame. Take strategic steps and alliances that will ensure success. Most importantly, don’t be afraid. No one can hold you back from achieving your goals. Remember, you are a born fighter—don’t be scared to reclaim your throne.

Sagittarius

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

As the cosmic doer of the zodiac, you love to manifest new projects and activities. This week, you are inclined to create something tangible, which you can touch and feel in the material world. This may result in a new partnership of artistic or romantic nature (also,, the desire to start implementing grounding exercises into your daily vibe). Awakening your senses will make you feel more alive in the moment. Connecting to earthy delights (whether it be by meditating with your feet firmly planted in the ground or ASMR) will awaken your soul and brighten your spirit—even activating the pleasure center of your chart. The tingling feeling within, will clear out your head and motivate you to feel freer than usual, evoking your passions that have been dormant over the past seasons, in time for your spring awakening.

Capricorn

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

Insecurities may flair up this week, pushing you to take a deep hard look at yourself in the mirror. Squashing childhood trauma can be a life long objective, but this week you are letting go of some pain from the past. Looking your fears straight in the eye, will kill any negative thinking and resentments you have with felt within, lessening the burden you have been carrying. You will feel reborn and renewed by week’s end. Change starts within. Becoming the ultimate version of yourself is a lifelong process. You have the power to transform yourself, as long as you commit to doing the work. What you may find along your path of self-discovery, is that you are already the person of your desires and dreams—you just got lost along the way and couldn’t see yourself clearly.

Aquarius

Jan. 20-Feb. 18

This week is pushing you to evolve your core beliefs, which may involve you implementing alone time under the New Moon to help revolutionize your life. The veil that once blindfolded your eyes is falling off, giving you the opportunity to see situations and people clearly. Recently, you may have been manipulated into conflicts and unscrupulous activities that have proven to hurt your ego, rather than elevate your spirit. This week, you are dropping the facade and allowing others to see the “real” you. Your feelings may be unfiltered and raw, but they are your sentiments and should always be honored by others. Being honest about personal setbacks and triumphs will move you past the fake tough exterior you’ve created, giving others and yourself the chance to connect with the purest part of your soul.

Pisces

Feb. 19-March 20

This week serves as your cosmic wake-up call. You may feel as though you have been in a deep slumber for months, as you start to clearly see who you can and cannot trust. Also, you will come to see who will stand by your side through thick and thin. Your friends may not actually be as true blue as you had once thought, allowing you to consciously disconnect and cut the cord from their energy. Letting go is always hard, but in your case essential for your personal health. Toxic connections will consume your energy, cause exhaustion, and anxiety. While you may decide not to confront others (although you will fantasize endlessly about this all week), make sure to cut the energy you give to the situation—only then can you live in accordance with your highest self.

[dailyofficereadings]

Daily Office Readings February 17, 2019 at 11:00PM

Psalm 89

Psalm 89

God’s Covenant with David

A Maskil of Ethan the Ezrahite.

1 I will sing of your steadfast love, O Lord,[a] forever; with my mouth I will proclaim your faithfulness to all generations. 2 I declare that your steadfast love is established forever; your faithfulness is as firm as the heavens.

3 You said, “I have made a covenant with my chosen one, I have sworn to my servant David: 4 ‘I will establish your descendants forever, and build your throne for all generations.’”Selah

5 Let the heavens praise your wonders, O Lord, your faithfulness in the assembly of the holy ones. 6 For who in the skies can be compared to the Lord? Who among the heavenly beings is like the Lord, 7 a God feared in the council of the holy ones, great and awesome[b] above all that are around him? 8 O Lord God of hosts, who is as mighty as you, O Lord? Your faithfulness surrounds you. 9 You rule the raging of the sea; when its waves rise, you still them. 10 You crushed Rahab like a carcass; you scattered your enemies with your mighty arm. 11 The heavens are yours, the earth also is yours; the world and all that is in it—you have founded them. 12 The north and the south[c]—you created them; Tabor and Hermon joyously praise your name. 13 You have a mighty arm; strong is your hand, high your right hand. 14 Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; steadfast love and faithfulness go before you. 15 Happy are the people who know the festal shout, who walk, O Lord, in the light of your countenance; 16 they exult in your name all day long, and extol[d] your righteousness. 17 For you are the glory of their strength; by your favor our horn is exalted. 18 For our shield belongs to the Lord, our king to the Holy One of Israel.

19 Then you spoke in a vision to your faithful one, and said: “I have set the crown[e] on one who is mighty, I have exalted one chosen from the people. 20 I have found my servant David; with my holy oil I have anointed him; 21 my hand shall always remain with him; my arm also shall strengthen him. 22 The enemy shall not outwit him, the wicked shall not humble him. 23 I will crush his foes before him and strike down those who hate him. 24 My faithfulness and steadfast love shall be with him; and in my name his horn shall be exalted. 25 I will set his hand on the sea and his right hand on the rivers. 26 He shall cry to me, ‘You are my Father, my God, and the Rock of my salvation!’ 27 I will make him the firstborn, the highest of the kings of the earth. 28 Forever I will keep my steadfast love for him, and my covenant with him will stand firm. 29 I will establish his line forever, and his throne as long as the heavens endure. 30 If his children forsake my law and do not walk according to my ordinances, 31 if they violate my statutes and do not keep my commandments, 32 then I will punish their transgression with the rod and their iniquity with scourges; 33 but I will not remove from him my steadfast love, or be false to my faithfulness. 34 I will not violate my covenant, or alter the word that went forth from my lips. 35 Once and for all I have sworn by my holiness; I will not lie to David. 36 His line shall continue forever, and his throne endure before me like the sun. 37 It shall be established forever like the moon, an enduring witness in the skies.”Selah

38 But now you have spurned and rejected him; you are full of wrath against your anointed. 39 You have renounced the covenant with your servant; you have defiled his crown in the dust. 40 You have broken through all his walls; you have laid his strongholds in ruins. 41 All who pass by plunder him; he has become the scorn of his neighbors. 42 You have exalted the right hand of his foes; you have made all his enemies rejoice. 43 Moreover, you have turned back the edge of his sword, and you have not supported him in battle. 44 You have removed the scepter from his hand,[f] and hurled his throne to the ground. 45 You have cut short the days of his youth; you have covered him with shame.Selah

46 How long, O Lord? Will you hide yourself forever? How long will your wrath burn like fire? 47 Remember how short my time is—[g] for what vanity you have created all mortals! 48 Who can live and never see death? Who can escape the power of Sheol?Selah

49 Lord, where is your steadfast love of old, which by your faithfulness you swore to David? 50 Remember, O Lord, how your servant is taunted; how I bear in my bosom the insults of the peoples,[h] 51 with which your enemies taunt, O Lord, with which they taunted the footsteps of your anointed.

52 Blessed be the Lord forever. Amen and Amen.

Footnotes:

Psalm 89:1 Gk: Heb the steadfast love of the Lord

Psalm 89:7 Gk Syr: Heb greatly awesome

Psalm 89:12 Or Zaphon and Yamin

Psalm 89:16 Cn: Heb are exalted in

Psalm 89:19 Cn: Heb help

Psalm 89:44 Cn: Heb removed his cleanness

Psalm 89:47 Meaning of Heb uncertain

Psalm 89:50 Cn: Heb bosom all of many peoples

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Isaiah 63:1-6

Vengeance on Edom

63 “Who is this that comes from Edom, from Bozrah in garments stained crimson? Who is this so splendidly robed, marching in his great might?”

“It is I, announcing vindication, mighty to save.”

2 “Why are your robes red, and your garments like theirs who tread the wine press?”

3 “I have trodden the wine press alone, and from the peoples no one was with me; I trod them in my anger and trampled them in my wrath; their juice spattered on my garments, and stained all my robes. 4 For the day of vengeance was in my heart, and the year for my redeeming work had come. 5 I looked, but there was no helper; I stared, but there was no one to sustain me; so my own arm brought me victory, and my wrath sustained me. 6 I trampled down peoples in my anger, I crushed them in my wrath, and I poured out their lifeblood on the earth.”

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

1 Timothy 1:1-17

Salutation

1 Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the command of God our Savior and of Christ Jesus our hope,

2 To Timothy, my loyal child in the faith:

Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.

Warning against False Teachers

3 I urge you, as I did when I was on my way to Macedonia, to remain in Ephesus so that you may instruct certain people not to teach any different doctrine, 4 and not to occupy themselves with myths and endless genealogies that promote speculations rather than the divine training[a] that is known by faith. 5 But the aim of such instruction is love that comes from a pure heart, a good conscience, and sincere faith. 6 Some people have deviated from these and turned to meaningless talk, 7 desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make assertions.

8 Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it legitimately. 9 This means understanding that the law is laid down not for the innocent but for the lawless and disobedient, for the godless and sinful, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their father or mother, for murderers, 10 fornicators, sodomites, slave traders, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to the sound teaching 11 that conforms to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me.

Gratitude for Mercy

12 I am grateful to Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because he judged me faithful and appointed me to his service, 13 even though I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and a man of violence. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, 14 and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 15 The saying is sure and worthy of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the foremost. 16 But for that very reason I received mercy, so that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display the utmost patience, making me an example to those who would come to believe in him for eternal life. 17 To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever.[b] Amen.

Footnotes:

1 Timothy 1:4 Or plan

1 Timothy 1:17 Gk to the ages of the ages

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Mark 11:1-11

Jesus’ Triumphal Entry into Jerusalem

11 When they were approaching Jerusalem, at Bethphage and Bethany, near the Mount of Olives, he sent two of his disciples 2 and said to them, “Go into the village ahead of you, and immediately as you enter it, you will find tied there a colt that has never been ridden; untie it and bring it. 3 If anyone says to you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ just say this, ‘The Lord needs it and will send it back here immediately.’” 4 They went away and found a colt tied near a door, outside in the street. As they were untying it, 5 some of the bystanders said to them, “What are you doing, untying the colt?” 6 They told them what Jesus had said; and they allowed them to take it. 7 Then they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks on it; and he sat on it. 8 Many people spread their cloaks on the road, and others spread leafy branches that they had cut in the fields. 9 Then those who went ahead and those who followed were shouting,

“Hosanna! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord! 10 Blessed is the coming kingdom of our ancestor David! Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

11 Then he entered Jerusalem and went into the temple; and when he had looked around at everything, as it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the twelve.

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

[inherentsleep-blog]

Accounting for Actors, the United Fruit Company and Socialism and Man

 This is the reflection article I had to do with the Guevara document, and link it to a modern document. It could totally be more coherent if it was more focused, but I just though I would post what I was working on. This article presents a short analysis of two documents looking at the Caribbean and Central America during the twentieth century. Accounting for Taste: Export Bananas, Mass Markets and Panama Disease by John Soluri is an environmental and economic history of the rise of banana production in the Americas, and a critique of other literature in that field.  Socialism and man in Cuba by Che Guevara is a primary source document about several related topics surrounding the rise of socialism in Cuba and the vision of the future presented by the Cuban revolutionaries. This analysis argues that just as the functionalist model of behavior fails to encompass the rise of the banana trade, it also fails to describe the Cuban revolutionary movement. It further asserts that just as Soluri argues that previous analysis had erroneously stripped actors of agency at the expense of invisible forces, Guevara makes the same mistakes in his writing.

 Accounting for Taste describes the rise of the banana industry in general, but particularly the United Fruit Company from multiple perspectives through the years 1890 to 1960. In recording the history of the United Fruit Company, he discusses the effects of value, taste and aesthetics that led to the mass adoption of the Gros Michael banana. He discusses first how domestic production was concentrated into a few vertical producers of the goods. Discussion of Panama disease is a core part of the article, particularly how it was interrelated to a fall in biodiversity and its economic effects on banana production. Soluri covers the slow adoption of the Chiquita banana and the factors surrounding it. He then briefly discusses the latter stages of the United Fruit Company, including the rise in competition within the market and the pivot by the company in an attempt to market their bananas as a differentiated ‘high quality’ product. He does not, however, link these decisions to the traditional monopoly structure of firms.

Soluri gives an account of the history of the Gros Michael banana. He describes how its seedless nature, large size, high bunch count and ability to be shipped all joined to help make it the dominant banana of the Americas[1]. He then describes how those same qualities, with its distinctive aesthetics and entrenched market position kept it in production even after Panama disease swept through the plantations. The absurd conditions that the plants had to be grown under, with abandoned fields[2] and massive tracts of empty land waiting for crop failure[3], were a statement to the profitability of the fruit, but also the failure to find an alternative. The heavy capital flooding and recovery of field was even more so. Functionalist explanations for the longevity of the banana are not able to fully explain the long-term success of the fruit.

           The economic history presented of United Fruit Company and its transition to a vertical structure also gives a clear picture of the goals of the company, and presents a near textbook example of the business model. It is somewhat surprising that Soluri gave so little analysis of the business model of the company, considering how much time he devoted to the environmental history and his comments about the agency of the actors surrounding Panama disease, and their response to it. [4] Considering the massive profits,[5] income and market share[6] of the United Fruit Company, as well as the omnipresence of their marketing within the banana market[7], it seems clear that the United Fruit Company was able to hold at least a partial monopoly. When this is understood, the fact that United Fruit limited production with its massive tracts of unused land makes significantly more sense, as flooding the market would have led to a loss in profit. Instead, they focused the market on quality in an effort to limit the competing supply of fruits and create an artificial shortage of the highest quality bananas, filling the rest of the demand with lower quality fruits. Then, when they lost their production monopoly, they attempted to use marketing to differentiate themselves and re-create a monopoly on ‘luxury bananas’. The anti-competitive tactics they used fall directly in line with this explanation, and it falls squarely into traditional monopoly analysis.

Socialism and man is an ideologically dense and wandering text as Guevara jumps from one topic and concept to another, something Guevara himself notes in his conclusion.[8] Due to this structure, commenting on every single point Guevara speaks on is impossible, and one must take all of his statements as his true opinions (as the scope of this article would otherwise be massive). Within this uncritical reading, some of the topics discussed include: his view of individualism within socialism; a discussion of social duty as a ‘societal function’; the pursuit of morality as a nation; and freedom versus realism within socialist states. He also discusses Castro as a voice of the people, the failure of capitalist social movements, Marxists theory as compared to Marxists-Leninist, the goal of society being education and the “original sin” of artists and intellectuals. He finishes with a warning against dogmatism, and a rallying cry to help create the humans of the 21st century, though he admits to not quite knowing what that would look like.

A reasonable portion of Socialism and man is dedicated to refuting the claim that the socialist revolutionary period removes individuality at the expense of the state. Guevara fails to do that, and also manages to reinforce the opposing point with later statements. He describes the fact that Fidel is the named and known personal leader of the revolution[9]. This does not, as he seems to think, describe individualism within his nation, but instead describes a personalisation of politics. He then describes that Fidel understands and can speak to all problems of the Cuban people due to his personal charisma[10], dismissing dissent out of hand. In order to continue the revolution, he is describing, Guevara then goes on to suggest the construction of revolutionary institutions.[11] These very institutions have had traditionally been effective partly for their role in depersonalization of politics, especially within Latin America.

           Through the text, Guevara often both ascribes dissent and resistance he doesn’t like to invisible systems,[12][13][14] and turns to vanguardism[15][16] to describe why all problems are not actually problems at all. This same turn to vanguardism, however, makes any true functionalist explanation of the revolution impossible, as the revolutionaries are in pursuit of intangibles.[17] Also within the text, Guevara within the same few paragraphs laments that he cannot see solutions to certain problems as he is not an artist[18] and the fact that there are no artist revolutionaries[19] while immediately afterwards lambasting them in general without a hint of irony.[20] While he attempts to address this by claiming they are worth less for not being revolutionaries[21] and therefor must be instead educated from the ground up as both artists and revolutionaries, that doesn’t address the possible existence of someone being both a revolutionary and an artist other than his total dismissal of them, nor the lack of them in his movement.

Guevara, within his analysis, makes the very mistake Soluri criticizes previous works in his field of making. In his conclusion, Soluri argues that agency has been stripped from people by ascribing many of the results of their actions to forces of nature, in this case the “the ravages of a disease”[22]. His evidence is strong, suggesting that instead of the being an ‘act of god’, the banana corporations continually and dangerously exposed themselves to risk factors through selection to a single crop and destruction of biodiversity. Guevara ascribes any dissidence to inhuman enemies of the revolution or inevitable results of his ideological models, curbing agency (other than a static choice to ‘join the revolution) in the name of these invisible ideological models, usually capitalism. Those who flee his country after revolution, for example, are characterised as “completely housebroken”[23] instead of any other reasonable motive. Guevara speaks in-depth about how pressures both within capitalism force behaviors, and how that systematic pressure can be used to create his new educated and moral population.[24] This analysis strips actors of agency, instead giving that agency only to systems and revolutionaries. Further, by turning opposition into a purely systematic problem but is allies into heroic individuals struggling against a system, he both dehumanises opponents, delegitimizes anyone disagreeing and grants his followers a ‘savior motive’ as the vanguard of America.[25]

           Accounting for Taste: Export Bananas, Mass Markets and Panama Disease and Socialism and man in Cuba represent very different texts written in very different eras. Because of this, more than being comparative pieces Accounting for Taste functions as additional analysis and Socialism and man in Cuba acts as a supporting document when comparing the two. Soluri arguments on functionalism and agency are valuable commentary that can be additionally applied to the Guevara document.

   [1] John Soluri, “Accounting for Taste: Export Bananas, Mass Markets, and Panama Disease”, Environmental History, Vol. 7, No. 3 (Jul., 2002), pp 389

[2] (Soluri 2002), pp 395

[3] (Soluri 2002), pp 394

[4] (Soluri 2002), pp 403

[5] (Soluri 2002), pp 391

[6] (Soluri 2002), pp 397

[7] (Soluri 2002), pp 392

[8] Che Guevara, “Socialism and man in Cuba”, trans. Brian Baggins, section Danger of dogmatism

[9] (Guevara 1965) section Introduction

[10] (Guevara 1965) section Participation of the masses

[11] (Guevara 1965) section Conscious process of self-education

[12] (Guevara 1965) section New status of work, Invisible laws of capitalism, The individual and socialism

[15] (Guevara 1965) section Role of the individual

[16] (Guevara 1965) section Love of living humanity

[17] (Guevara 1965) section Love of living humanity

[18] (Guevara 1965) section New impulse for artistic experimentation

[19] (Guevara 1965) section New impulse for artistic experimentation

[20] (Guevara 1965) section New Revolutionary generation

[21] (Guevara 1965) section New Revolutionary generation

[22] (Soluri 2002), pp 403

[23] (Guevara 1965) section New impulse for artistic experimentation

[24] (Guevara 1965) section Conscious process of self-education

[25] (Guevara 1965) section Role of the individual

[dailyofficereadings]

Daily Office Readings February 13, 2017

Psalm 89

Psalm 89

God’s Covenant with David

A Maskil of Ethan the Ezrahite.

1 I will sing of your steadfast love, O Lord,[a] forever; with my mouth I will proclaim your faithfulness to all generations. 2 I declare that your steadfast love is established forever; your faithfulness is as firm as the heavens.

3 You said, “I have made a covenant with my chosen one, I have sworn to my servant David: 4 ‘I will establish your descendants forever, and build your throne for all generations.’”Selah

5 Let the heavens praise your wonders, O Lord, your faithfulness in the assembly of the holy ones. 6 For who in the skies can be compared to the Lord? Who among the heavenly beings is like the Lord, 7 a God feared in the council of the holy ones, great and awesome[b] above all that are around him? 8 O Lord God of hosts, who is as mighty as you, O Lord? Your faithfulness surrounds you. 9 You rule the raging of the sea; when its waves rise, you still them. 10 You crushed Rahab like a carcass; you scattered your enemies with your mighty arm. 11 The heavens are yours, the earth also is yours; the world and all that is in it—you have founded them. 12 The north and the south[c]—you created them; Tabor and Hermon joyously praise your name. 13 You have a mighty arm; strong is your hand, high your right hand. 14 Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; steadfast love and faithfulness go before you. 15 Happy are the people who know the festal shout, who walk, O Lord, in the light of your countenance; 16 they exult in your name all day long, and extol[d] your righteousness. 17 For you are the glory of their strength; by your favor our horn is exalted. 18 For our shield belongs to the Lord, our king to the Holy One of Israel.

19 Then you spoke in a vision to your faithful one, and said: “I have set the crown[e] on one who is mighty, I have exalted one chosen from the people. 20 I have found my servant David; with my holy oil I have anointed him; 21 my hand shall always remain with him; my arm also shall strengthen him. 22 The enemy shall not outwit him, the wicked shall not humble him. 23 I will crush his foes before him and strike down those who hate him. 24 My faithfulness and steadfast love shall be with him; and in my name his horn shall be exalted. 25 I will set his hand on the sea and his right hand on the rivers. 26 He shall cry to me, ‘You are my Father, my God, and the Rock of my salvation!’ 27 I will make him the firstborn, the highest of the kings of the earth. 28 Forever I will keep my steadfast love for him, and my covenant with him will stand firm. 29 I will establish his line forever, and his throne as long as the heavens endure. 30 If his children forsake my law and do not walk according to my ordinances, 31 if they violate my statutes and do not keep my commandments, 32 then I will punish their transgression with the rod and their iniquity with scourges; 33 but I will not remove from him my steadfast love, or be false to my faithfulness. 34 I will not violate my covenant, or alter the word that went forth from my lips. 35 Once and for all I have sworn by my holiness; I will not lie to David. 36 His line shall continue forever, and his throne endure before me like the sun. 37 It shall be established forever like the moon, an enduring witness in the skies.”Selah

38 But now you have spurned and rejected him; you are full of wrath against your anointed. 39 You have renounced the covenant with your servant; you have defiled his crown in the dust. 40 You have broken through all his walls; you have laid his strongholds in ruins. 41 All who pass by plunder him; he has become the scorn of his neighbors. 42 You have exalted the right hand of his foes; you have made all his enemies rejoice. 43 Moreover, you have turned back the edge of his sword, and you have not supported him in battle. 44 You have removed the scepter from his hand,[f] and hurled his throne to the ground. 45 You have cut short the days of his youth; you have covered him with shame.Selah

46 How long, O Lord? Will you hide yourself forever? How long will your wrath burn like fire? 47 Remember how short my time is—[g] for what vanity you have created all mortals! 48 Who can live and never see death? Who can escape the power of Sheol?Selah

49 Lord, where is your steadfast love of old, which by your faithfulness you swore to David? 50 Remember, O Lord, how your servant is taunted; how I bear in my bosom the insults of the peoples,[h] 51 with which your enemies taunt, O Lord, with which they taunted the footsteps of your anointed.

52 Blessed be the Lord forever. Amen and Amen.

Footnotes:

Psalm 89:1 Gk: Heb the steadfast love of the Lord

Psalm 89:7 Gk Syr: Heb greatly awesome

Psalm 89:12 Or Zaphon and Yamin

Psalm 89:16 Cn: Heb are exalted in

Psalm 89:19 Cn: Heb help

Psalm 89:44 Cn: Heb removed his cleanness

Psalm 89:47 Meaning of Heb uncertain

Psalm 89:50 Cn: Heb bosom all of many peoples

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Isaiah 63:1-6

Vengeance on Edom

63 “Who is this that comes from Edom, from Bozrah in garments stained crimson? Who is this so splendidly robed, marching in his great might?”

“It is I, announcing vindication, mighty to save.”

2 “Why are your robes red, and your garments like theirs who tread the wine press?”

3 “I have trodden the wine press alone, and from the peoples no one was with me; I trod them in my anger and trampled them in my wrath; their juice spattered on my garments, and stained all my robes. 4 For the day of vengeance was in my heart, and the year for my redeeming work had come. 5 I looked, but there was no helper; I stared, but there was no one to sustain me; so my own arm brought me victory, and my wrath sustained me. 6 I trampled down peoples in my anger, I crushed them in my wrath, and I poured out their lifeblood on the earth.”

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

1 Timothy 1:1-17

Salutation

1 Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the command of God our Savior and of Christ Jesus our hope,

2 To Timothy, my loyal child in the faith:

Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.

Warning against False Teachers

3 I urge you, as I did when I was on my way to Macedonia, to remain in Ephesus so that you may instruct certain people not to teach any different doctrine, 4 and not to occupy themselves with myths and endless genealogies that promote speculations rather than the divine training[a] that is known by faith. 5 But the aim of such instruction is love that comes from a pure heart, a good conscience, and sincere faith. 6 Some people have deviated from these and turned to meaningless talk, 7 desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make assertions.

8 Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it legitimately. 9 This means understanding that the law is laid down not for the innocent but for the lawless and disobedient, for the godless and sinful, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their father or mother, for murderers, 10 fornicators, sodomites, slave traders, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to the sound teaching 11 that conforms to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me.

Gratitude for Mercy

12 I am grateful to Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because he judged me faithful and appointed me to his service, 13 even though I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and a man of violence. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, 14 and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 15 The saying is sure and worthy of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the foremost. 16 But for that very reason I received mercy, so that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display the utmost patience, making me an example to those who would come to believe in him for eternal life. 17 To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever.[b] Amen.

Footnotes:

1 Timothy 1:4 Or plan

1 Timothy 1:17 Gk to the ages of the ages

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Mark 11:1-11

Jesus’ Triumphal Entry into Jerusalem

11 When they were approaching Jerusalem, at Bethphage and Bethany, near the Mount of Olives, he sent two of his disciples 2 and said to them, “Go into the village ahead of you, and immediately as you enter it, you will find tied there a colt that has never been ridden; untie it and bring it. 3 If anyone says to you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ just say this, ‘The Lord needs it and will send it back here immediately.’” 4 They went away and found a colt tied near a door, outside in the street. As they were untying it, 5 some of the bystanders said to them, “What are you doing, untying the colt?” 6 They told them what Jesus had said; and they allowed them to take it. 7 Then they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks on it; and he sat on it. 8 Many people spread their cloaks on the road, and others spread leafy branches that they had cut in the fields. 9 Then those who went ahead and those who followed were shouting,

“Hosanna! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord! 10 Blessed is the coming kingdom of our ancestor David! Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

11 Then he entered Jerusalem and went into the temple; and when he had looked around at everything, as it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the twelve.

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.