#not the single author blog post from 2012 coming in and it's got HANDS

[diluc33rpm]

[bonesliketambourines]

Hiya! It's the Festive Fanfic Author Ask! Drop this on or off Anon into the askbox of your favorite authors you'd like to know better: Which one of your own fics do you think feels the most You to you? Which one of your stories would you suggest to read if someone wanted to get the gist of your personality?

Hi there anon!

I got this ask twice, so I’m going to answer it in two somewhat varying ways, if you don’t mind indulging me! I’ve posted part two here.

This was a tough question, and my friends can attest that I panicked and said “what if you don’t have an actual personality and are in fact just a cobbled-together mishmash of every person you’ve ever found cool” when I first got it. But the more I looked at it, the more it made me think, so thank you for that!

First, I’d like to say that a little bit of me goes into every single one of my stories. I can honestly say that out of everything I’ve written (and that will be 50 Drarry works in 2020 once I post my December drabble, can you believe?), none of them were anything less than from the heart. That doesn’t always translate to an excellent fic, of course, that wouldn’t be realistic, but all of them are Me, at least a little bit.

In these asks, though, there are two fics I’m going to highlight, and this part got super wordy so I’m putting it under a cut; thanks to anyone who reads through to the end of my rambles haha.

The first one is just tell me when it’s alright, which was my @hd-wireless 2020 contribution. This was my second major fest fic for the Drarry fandom (and my second major writing attempt in years; I abandoned fanfic and my other fandom in 2012 and just came back to it again in 2019, and didn’t start interacting properly with fandom and writing until 2020), and I poured a lot of time and effort into this fic. It was an idea I’d had for months, but if it weren’t for @tackytigerfic pushing me to sign up for the fest, and the unending support of the friends I’ve made this year, including but not limited to @maesterchill @shealwaysreads and @p1013, it would have lingered forever unfulfilled in my mind.

This was also a pretty major fic for me in that it was written from Harry’s POV. I tend to gravitate to writing from Draco’s eyes (which I’ll address in the second part of this answer), but this story could only have been told from Harry’s perspective, and I was very nervous about that.

I love Harry Potter as a character; I always have. There’s a lot of negative to be said about the source material and the author (let me just stop here to say that TERFs are not feminists, feminism isn’t feminism unless it’s intersectional, and transphobia and any other type of bigotry is not welcome on my blog; I am fallible and make mistakes but I always want to learn, so if I’m saying or doing something wrong please don’t be afraid to message me, and if you don’t agree with my above statements please unfollow me), but the Harry Potter series did so much to enchant an entire generation of kids and get them into reading; its importance really cannot be understated, and it’s doing the series a disservice to minimize its impact.

There was a time in the HP fandom where disliking the character of Harry Potter was sort of en vogue, and I never understood that. Here we have a boy who experienced some of the very worst humanity had to offer, and came out on the other side still brave, and kind, and forgiving, and generous, and good. He was handed the shittiest luck imaginable, and he wasn’t the smartest, or the most magically talented, but because he was able to rise above it all and love he was able to triumph.

As I grow older, as I see more and more of what this world is like, and how the systems of power in both my country and others actually function, I find myself returning to the story of a boy who became a man much too soon, who was given no breaks and provided no quarter, who watched as friends and family alike died around him, and despite it all managed to do good. What a powerful message. What a powerful character. What an incredible example, for a young child growing up in the divisive environment we find ourselves in these days; a fictional hero who won not by strength, or cleverness, or outwitting and othering his enemies, but by love.

So, with all of that, how could I ever write from the perspective of this character?? I’m much better at writing from the eyes of someone who sees and loves Harry, I’d always thought. But again, this story necessitated being told by Harry, and so I had to do it.

I probably spent more time thinking about this fic than I did writing it. I agonized and stressed and worked myself into a lather about how I was going to make it live up to the idea I had in my head. How, I thought, am I ever going to get such an iconic character right?

This Harry has a lot of darkness in him, a lot of sadness that, based on the comments I got, resonated with quite a few people. He’s traumatized, and he’s unaware of many parts of himself because he was never allowed to learn or to grow, and he’s still trying so hard to live up to the idealized image of himself he was confronted with the second he stepped through that archway into Diagon Alley when he was eleven. He’s not straight but he’s not gay, and he doesn’t know how to articulate what he wants or how he feels; and once he does figure it out, once things seem to settle for him, he’s suddenly up against yet another enemy to battle, but this time it’s his own mind.

Depression is an insidious, horrific thing. It slinks into your mind and crushes you down while simultaneously tricking you into thinking you’re not that bad off, and this is normal, and everyone probably feels this way, and who are you to complain after all? It slowly chips away at your joy and your purpose until you’re left surrounded by an uncleaned house and an inability to do anything to right yourself, no matter how much you want to. I don’t think it would be surprising to anyone to know that I’ve dealt with depression for my entire life, back almost as long as I can remember; I struggle with the apathy it presses into me daily, and there are days when, just like the Harry in this story, I can’t get out of bed, I can’t make my home a pleasing, calming place for me to be, and I can’t do anything but dwell on what I’ve done wrong and who I’ve done it to, and how they’re all going to leave.

There were scenes in this story that were incredibly hard to write. There are scenes that I had a hard time re-reading when I went back and revisited this story a few weeks ago. But this, more than anything else I’ve ever written, is the closest I’ve ever come to addressing my own personal demons, to articulating how it feels to be pinned in place by your own brain like that. And truly, Harry Potter himself was the only character I could ever write who would be able to fully embody this particular battle that so many of us face.

This fic has some of the sex scenes I’m most proud of, and some of the character interactions I like the best, but at its core it’s about a young adult adrift in the world, battling with his own brain and doing his best to bring himself some measure of peace and happiness. And for that, as hard as parts of this were to write (and read), I will always be thankful I was given the opportunity to publish this.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you.

[mustafa-el-fats]

in: Featured, Heading Out On Your Own, Money & Career, Networking, Professional Skills

Brett & Kate McKay • August 9, 2012 • Last updated: September 23, 2020

Managing Your Online Reputation

This article series is now available as a professionally formatted, distraction free paperback or ebook to read offline at your leisure.

All the basic life skills we’ve covered so far in this series have been things that your dad, and even your granddad, had to learn when he left home for the first time too.

But today’s young man faces a new challenge that Pops never encountered: managing his online reputation.

Despite the nascent nature of this skill, I truly believe it’s one of the most important things we’ll talk about in this series. As the line between the offline and online world gets increasingly blurry, your online reputation is your reputation. Before you meet your freshman roommate, before you pick up a date, before you shake the hand of a potential employer…you better believe they’ve already Googled you, already formed a first, first impression about you, your interests, and what kind of person you are. Thus, if you’re not careful and conscious about the content you create online, you can end up shooting yourself in the foot in all areas of your life.

Heading Out on Your Own…And Into a Fishbowl World

Leaving for college or another kind of adventure after high school has long been an exciting and heady time. It’s an age where you’re experimenting with ideas and values, testing new freedoms, meeting new people, and often changing your mind about who you are and what you want out of life. One week you feel one way, and the next you feel another. During this process you often make mistakes, and do bone-headed things that twenty years later will still make you wonder, “What was I thinking?”

Just a decade ago, only you, and a few of your closest friends, would have held the memory of those crazy and sometimes cringe-worthy moments. The only record of them could be found by digging up a private photo album or journal.

Today…it’s a whole new ball game.

Now, everything you do and say can potentially become part of your permanent and public record. Everybody’s got a smartphone and can snap a picture of you anywhere, anytime and post it online. And things that go up online about you and from you can remain there forever. Mistakes you made when you were just 19 can haunt you for the rest of your life. Being a young man used to mean you could entirely reinvent yourself by moving to a new place and making new friends, but now your online reputation will follow you wherever you go.

I don’t mean to sound all doom and gloom about it. But that’s the sobering reality of living in the Internet Age, and it doesn’t help to bury one’s head in the sand and try to whatever that reality away. It absolutely doesn’t mean that college can’t still be the fun, spontaneous experience it’s always been; it just means you need to take a conscious, proactive approach to taking responsibility for what parts of that experience end up online and in the public eye.

Why Is Proactively Managing Your Online Reputation So Important?

One of the greatest things about the internet is that it is a giant pot that people can both add to and take from. This puts the most enormous wealth of knowledge in human history right at our fingertips and provides an endless amount of inspiration that can be added onto and “remixed.”

The downside of the big internet pot, is that the moment you put something into the pot, you pretty much lose all control over it. Many viral embarrassments have started out as something someone just wanted to share with a few good friends. But those friends shared it with their friends, who shared it with their friends…on and on until it ended up on Tosh.O.

There are essentially no guaranteed take backs when it comes to what you put online. You can erase your Facebook status, blog post, comment, tweet, or video, but someone else may very well have already shared it, copied it, taken a screenshot of it, or downloaded the video and reposted it somewhere else. How websites looked on a certain date in time are captured and archived on sites like the WayBack Machine (take a look at AoM circa 2008!). Emails that you thought you deleted forever can still sometimes be retrieved, and just because you deleted an email doesn’t mean the person you sent it to didn’t archive it. If someone else wants to post something of yours, you may not be able to get them to take it down without suing.

All of which is to say, pretty every piece of digital content you create can potentially exist forever. And this digital record can be accessed by any of the 250 million internet users in the US, not to mention the 2 billion online all over the world.

What’s on that record can have a big impact on both your personal and professional life.

Your college’s admissions office may have Googled you when they looked over your application. As soon as your freshman roommate knew you’d be bunking with him, he Googled you. When you network with someone at a party and tell them about your great idea, they’ll Google you later. And 81% of singles say they Google or check the Facebook page of someone before meeting him or her for a date.

Even though only 7% of Americans think their online reputation influences hiring decisions, in reality, 75% of US companies have made an online screening a formal part of the hiring process, 85% of recruiters and HR professionals say that having a positive online reputation influences their hiring decisions, and 70% of recruiters say they have rejected candidates based on something they found about them online. And since those numbers come from a study done in 2009, they’re undoubtedly even higher now.

What kinds of online discoveries cause recruiters and HR personnel to push your resume to the trash? This chart shows the most common red flags employers look for:

As you can see, it’s not just content you create that employers are checking out, it’s stuff your friends and colleagues post too. Be careful who you associate with.

Some young folks may be tempted to respond by saying, “Well, if a company is going to reject me for posting pictures of my drunken revelry, I wouldn’t want to work for them anyway.” But that’s pretty short-sighted. I’d venture to say that these companies aren’t rejecting candidates so much because they like to drink or swear, but rather that their willingness to show off these behaviors publicly shows a lack of judgment and wisdom. Not at all an unreasonable assumption.

The information that new friends and potential employers can find about you online may not even be true. Some people will try to verify it, some will not. And what they see will often come without any context – maybe you were being funny, maybe it’s an inside joke, but they won’t know that, they’ll simply make immediate judgments about what they find. This is why when it comes to managing your online reputation, you must be both proactive and defensive — deleting anything inappropriate,  wisely choosing the digital content you create, and purposefully creating positive content about yourself.

Self-Reflect Before You Self-Reveal

“Young people in particular often self-reveal before they self-reflect. There is no eraser button today for youthful indiscretion.” –James Steyer

There are some practical ways to manage your online reputation, and we’ll get to them in a moment. But the first step in taking responsibility for your online presence is creating a mindset for how you want to approach your online life.

Matt Ivester, the author of lol..OMG! (despite the silly-sounding title, this is actually a great book, with solid advice from the guy who learned about online reputation management firsthand from his misadventures in founding Juicycampus.com), suggests three questions to ask yourself before you put something online:

1. Why are you doing this?

Why? This is the most important question of all, and one that unfortunately usually goes unasked and uncontemplated.

Today’s colleges are welcoming the first “digital natives:” they’ve never known a time when the internet wasn’t a huge part of their lives. And even for those who are old enough to have used encyclopedias for elementary-school research papers, interacting and participating online has become so ubiquitous that it’s hard to imagine that life was ever any other way. This is just how things are, and we do what everyone else is doing, so much so that we hardly ever ask why we are doing those things.  Once we do start asking why, the answers are surprisingly hard to come up with and articulate.

Why do you update your status or share a link on Facebook? Do you want to share news? Are you bored? Do you want to be thought clever? Are you trying to make someone else jealous? Do you want to see if people feel the same way as you? Why?

Why do you care how many likes or upvotes something you submit on Facebook or Reddit gets? Is it confirmation that you shared something with value? Why?

Why do you leave comments on blog posts? Do you want the author of the blog to know that you appreciated the article? Do you think you have the insight to add that might help another reader? Do you want the author to know how and why they are wrong? Why? What do you hope to accomplish? Do you think it will change their mind? Is it because the psychological angst you feel when you think someone is wrong needs to be discharged? Why?

Why do you participate in online forums? Does it provide a feeling of camaraderie? Do you like to hear others’ opinions? Why do you respond when you think those opinions are wrong? Why do you care what a stranger thinks about you? Why?

When you ponder the why behind creating any kind of online content, from a status update to a YouTube video, you may come up with a reason that you find satisfactory and worthwhile. Or you may find that your motivation is hard to make sense of and decide it’s not worth your time. Either way, by asking why, you’ll become what Ivester calls “a conscious creator of content.”

2. Is now the right time?

The internet creates a perfect storm for impulse control: at the same time that it actively solicits impulsive communication and make satisfying those impulses incredibly easy, it makes taking back the results of those impulses incredibly difficult; it’s easy to hit “send” or “submit,” and quite hard to un-send and un-submit something.

Facebook asks, “What’s on your mind?” while Twitter wants to know “What’s happening?” They owe their existence to people’s desire to share their thoughts, videos, and photographs – and they need to be constantly fed to survive and grow and make money. And blogs (including ours) want to engage readers and build community and so ask for comments. The internet is set up to encourage you to share whatever thought crosses your mind, and taking that thought from your cranium to the walls and screens of the digital world only takes a few clicks.

But just because you can share your thoughts on impulse doesn’t mean you should. Not only because you probably haven’t thought through the why behind wanting to share first, but because strong impulses are usually born from strong emotions: anger, depression, and grief, or from chemically-altered states (like being drunk). When you spout off and share personal feelings while emotional or trashed, you will likely come to regret it once those strong emotions fade or you sober up.

The best thing to do when you feel you’re dealing with an impulse to put something online that you might regret later, is just to sit on it. The internet creates a false sense of immediacy, giving you an overwhelming feeling that you have to respond now. But what you’ll find is that something that felt super urgent and mega important to say in the moment, will seem totally pointless when you wake up the next morning.

One method I use to thwart impulsive responses is to imagine myself living before the internet. If I feel a burning urge to tell the author of an article what a chucklehead he is, I think of reading a magazine in the 80s, and how I would have had no outlet to express my opinion about it besides writing up a letter to the editor or talking to my wife or close friends about it. Or if something annoys me and I want to rant about it on Facebook, I think of a time before Facebook when I would have had no choice but to keep my rant to myself. It makes me realize that just as sharing whatever crosses your mind wasn’t necessary then, it’s not necessary now. The fine-folks of the 80s, while they made some questionable fashion-choices, weren’t any less happy than we are now that we’re able to shout what we’re feeling and thinking to everyone 24/7.

3. How controversial do you want to be?

The younger generation  (including those my age) was raised with a lot of rhetoric about how special and unique they are, how important it is to be “authentic,” and that it’s good to be “transparent.” This can lead folks to throw caution to wind about what they share online because, “I’m just trying to be me! And if other people don’t like it, they can bite me!”

But just because you can now display your opinions and personality to a greater number of people than ever before, doesn’t mean you should, or that the more you share, the more authentic you are. Going back to my suggestion of thinking about life before the internet, people used to only be able to share their quirks with a close circle of family and friends, and they weren’t any less themselves than we are (actually they were probably more themselves since they didn’t get instant feedback on all of their quirks).

Examining the meaning of authenticity isn’t within the purview of this post (although it will be a future series), but suffice it to say for now that the ideal for many of the great men of the past was not transparency, but sprezzatura – only revealing themselves to others slowly as a relationship of trust developed. You may want to “be yourself” by trumpeting your religious, social, and political beliefs online every chance you get, but if those meme’s you keep flooding Facebook with is the only thing new acquaintances know about you, they may decide they don’t want to get to know you before they even do — they’ll miss the complexity of your character that would have shown through over time…that you’re both a liberal and a rabid gun owner, or a fervent Christian and a scientist, or a zealous vegetarian and a Marine.

The three questions above can go a long way to helping you judiciously choose what and what not to post online. A final question to consider is what the general public might think of the content if for some reason what you post went viral or you were suddenly thrust into national prominence. Would it embarrass your family? What impression would a stranger have of it? You and your friends might think it’s funny, but would others find it offensive? You never know who’s going to see your post, what’s going to be dug up on you later, and who might be looking at your phone.

How to Manage Your Online Reputation

Managing your online reputation involves both deleting content you don’t want out there and creating content you do. Follow the steps below that Ivester and others have suggested, and complete each step right after you read it. This is the kind of thing that’s easy to put off indefinitely. Do it now.

1. Google yourself.

Before you can know what actions to take to manage your online reputation, you need to know what’s already out there. To do this, first deactivate Google’s customized search – when you typically do a Google search, the results Google brings up are based on things like your location, what you’ve clicked on before, and things your friends like. But you want to see what would come up if someone else searched for you. Here’s how to take off the customized search feature.

If you have a common name like “Rob Smith,” then search for your name with a qualifier like, “Rob Smith St. Louis,” or “Rob Smith Tulane University.”

After you look at Google’s results for you, check out other search engines like Bing and Yahoo as well.

When you look at the results that come up for your name, try to imagine what conclusions someone might reach about you if they had no other context for that content, and knew nothing else about you.

2. Try to remove content that you don’t want showing up in search results anymore.

After you do a search for yourself, it’s time to try to delete things that showed up that you’d rather not have out there anymore. Maybe you signed up for an internet forum with your real name. Maybe you left a comment on a blog post under your real name. Maybe you wrote a review or a blog post that you now feel is too controversial. Some of these things you can delete yourself.

If you can’t delete something yourself, like a blog post comment on another person’s blog, then try to contact the owner of the site to see if they will remove it for you. They may or may not, but the nicer you are about it, the greater the chance of them helping you, so make your request as civil and appreciative as possible.

If you can’t find the contact information for the site owner, try the site WHOis. Website registrars are required to publish the contact information for the person who registered the domain. Oftentimes when you look up a site on WHOis, you’ll find that the owner has decided to keep their direct contact information private and have instead given a proxy email address. Either way, your email will end up in the same place.

Understand that even if you’re successful at removing the offending content from a site, it may take a few days or even weeks before it’s reflected in search engine results. Also, understand that the offending item really hasn’t “gone away.” There’s a chance that it has been archived on the WayBack Machine. Remember, what’s put on the internet stays on the internet forever.

Moving forward, be extremely judicious when using your real name online.

3. Proactively create a positive first impression online.

Your best bet in managing your online reputation is proactively creating positive content about yourself that pushes the bad stuff off of the first few pages of search engines. Set up accounts with large social networking sites that typically rank high on Google and other search engines. Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Google+ profiles are often on the first page when you look up someone’s name. Set up accounts with them and post stuff that you’d be proud to have your name associated with.

The best thing you can do to ensure positive stuff associated with your name is at the top of search results is to start a blog and update it regularly. If you can, try to secure a domain name with your given name for your blog. What should you write about on your blog? You can publish your resume (redacting phone numbers and addresses, of course), write posts sharing insights in an expertise you might have, or use it to create a portfolio of your work if you’re a freelancer. Whatever it is, make sure it’s stuff you want associated with your name.

Cross-link your blog and all your social networking profiles together: put your link to Facebook and Twitter on your blog, a link to your LinkedIn profile and blog on your Facebook account, and so on.

Even if you don’t plan on using Twitter or Google+ or even putting anything on your blog, it doesn’t hurt to have your name registered with those accounts and domain. You don’t want some Joe Schmo mucking up your good name with a bunch of crazy online antics.

4. Adjust privacy settings on Facebook and clean up your Facebook Profile.

To ensure that potential employers or love interests only see the best of you when they look you up on Facebook, make the following adjustments:

First, take a look at how your profile page looks to the public. If you see any information visible that you don’t want strangers to see, make a note of it.

To change what’s visible on your profile page, click “About.”

Click “Edit” on the next page.  On each segment select “Friends” if you don’t want anybody who’s not your FB friend to see a particular piece of information. For networking reasons, I’ve left my job and school information visible to the public.

Visit the Facebook Privacy Settings page and adjust all your privacy settings so only your friends can see photos and status updates you make.

On the privacy settings page, update what your friends can share about you under “Timeline and Tagging.” Enable the ability to review and approve posts or photos that you are tagged in before they’re published on your Timeline. You can also disable Facebook’s tag suggestion when your friends upload photos that look like you. You don’t want your name tagged in an unflattering photo or post.

While you’re on the privacy settings page, limit who can see posts from the past. Even if you used to post everything publicly, this will retroactively make those posts private.

Review the photos that you’re tagged in and untag yourself from any unflattering photos. While you’re at it, you might ask your friend to remove the photo if it’s something you don’t want out there. Even if you’re not tagged in the pic, it could come back to haunt you.

Leave groups and unlike pages that may be seen as controversial…or just dumb. At least set the privacy settings on them so only your FB friends can see the pages you like.  how.

5. Be more conscious of what you share and whom you share it with on Facebook.

Ask the three questions we covered above before posting something on Facebook. That will save you a lot of grief.

Also, take into account if what you’re about to share is appropriate and relevant to ALL your Facebook friends. You don’t need to share your weekend plans with your old boss and former professors. In real life, you adjust what you talk about depending on your company — do the same on Facebook. Create lists on Facebook for close family/friends, acquaintances, professional colleagues, people that are the same religion as you, people you enjoy talking politics with, etc. Before posting something, ask yourself if this is something all your friends would be interested in or is better for a specific list of your friends. And even if you’re only posting for a list of close friends, still keep in mind what others would think if that status or photo got shared with people outside the list. It could happen.

6. Create strong passwords for your accounts.

If the recent story of tech writer Mat Honan’s online life being completely demolished by hackers doesn’t motivate you to strengthen your online security, then I don’t know what will. Create strong passwords for all your accounts and change them every six months. A strong password is at least 8 characters long and includes at least one special character (&!#) and both upper and lower case letters. Your passwords shouldn’t be the same for all your accounts. To manage all your passwords, use an app like LastPass.

To reduce the chance of getting hacked, enable two step authentication. Here’s how to do it on Google (if you use Gmail) and Facebook.

7. Use passwords on your laptop and mobile devices. 

An unattended laptop or mobile device provides a devilish opportunity for friends or random strangers to mess with your online life. I know several people who had to do a lot of scrambling to recover from an offensive tweet sent from an unattended iPhone by a mischievous friend. Avoid that. Enable password protection on all your mobile devices.

8. Set up a Google Alert for your name. 

Keep your finger on the pulse of what’s said about you on the web by setting up a Google Alert for yor name.  Just enter your name as a search query and Google Alert will email you a digest once a week (or daily if you want) of all the new content that’s hit the web with your name in it.

Conclusion

The internet is an amazing educational, social, and networking tool — you just need to use it wisely. Using it too little can be just as damaging to your personal and professional life as using it too much. Be a ���conscious content creator” and use sound wisdom and judgement in deciding where you personally want to draw the line between your public and private life.

Any other tips on managing your online reputation? Share them with us in the comments (only after asking yourself why you’re commenting and making sure it’s the right time, of course)!

 

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Going Undercover: How to Protect Your Privacy Online

Being a Gentleman in the Age of the Internet: 6 Ways to Bring Civility Online

Escape the Algorithm!

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How to Support and Follow the Art of Manliness

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ResourcesDoru Ciobanu • January 24, 2019 • 0 Comments

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One of the most significant mistakes many creatives make is the failure to promote their work.

You can have the best product in the world, the greatest app ever, or the most beautiful WordPress theme, but if you don’t showcase your work, you’ll never score big. A tight budget should not be an excuse. There are some marketing efforts you cannot ignore. One of the most effective promotion channels is video content.

Video is King

Do you know the saying “A picture is worth a thousand words?” Then how much is a three-minute video worth? Three minutes of footage multiplied by 25 frames per second increased by 1,000 equals … a lot. You do the math.

Video content is taking over the web. In 2019, video content will account for 80% of global internet traffic. More than 64% of consumers buy a product after they watch a video. One billion hours are spent YouTube daily. Apple overhauled its macOS App Store to feature video content for app presentations. These are the headlines you see every day on the web. Do you see a trend?

Do You Have a License?

There is no recipe for perfect video content. It depends on what you want to achieve, what type of video content you want to create or what is your target audience. However, most videos have one thing in common. Whether you are creating a demo video, a tutorial or a presentation, you need music.

Now imagine you just finished your promo materials, upload them to YouTube, your first customers are already downloading products, five stars reviews are flooding, only to have YouTube suspend your channel. Or, even worst, imagine that after your 665th sale, you receive an e-mail with the subject line: Copyright Infringement.

VIDEO

This is a scenario that could happen if you are using copyrighted music WITHOUT AN APPROPRIATE LICENSE. Hey, but you’ve got that music or sound effect from a website giving away them for free. You are covered right? Your favorite blogger even recommended this site in his “70+ websites to download free music” blog post.

Well, most “free music websites” have a disclaimer and, probably, an indemnification clause that absolves the site owners of any liability and any obligation whatsoever to check the licensing state of the *mp3 file you downloaded, and your favorite blogger is busy writing his next article (possible topic: top 70+ copyright lawyers). This is an unexpected turn of events.

Creative Common Licenses

The most important thing you should know about copyright, music and downloading is that most of the time when you download a song from a legitimate source, you license it. Yes, you don’t own it. Anyone with the same license as you can use it. The only way you get exclusivity is either via an exclusive license or when you get the copyright transferred to you.

When you license an audio file, you can use that file only in a way that is compliant with the licensing agreement. The most common licenses for free music are the following:

CC0 1.0: Universal Public Domain Dedication. No copyright applicable. Usually, the copyright owner dedicated the file for public use, or the copyright itself expired. You can download, use, remix, share, and do anything else you want without having to credit the artist.

CC-BY 2.0: Attribution Generic. Just like above, but you must provide an attribution link to the original artist.

CC-BY-SA: ShareAlike. Anything that uses the piece of music licensed this way should be made available under the same license.

CC-BY-NC: NonCommercial. You can’t use this audio-file in anything that’s intended for commercial gain without written permission from the artist.

CC-BY-ND: Attribution-NoDerivs. Any audio file released under this license should not be remixed in any way, including using it as a soundtrack to a video.

So, if you are looking for free sounds, these are the licenses you should look for. We have a handpicked list of CC resources that’s a great place to start.

Free Music Archive

Free Music Archive should be your first check. Launched in 2009 by WFMU, The Free Music Archive is an interactive library of high-quality, legal audio downloads. Unlike other websites, uploading content is granted only on an invitation basis and all audio files are hand-picked by one of the project’s curators.

Files are grouped in 16 style genres, and each style has its sub-genres. A nice touch is the blog section where you can discover tracks to draw inspiration from. Of course, there is a charts section – featuring the most popular files, a track of the day widget, a recently added widget and more.

Free Music Archive is not only a repository of free files, but it’s also a platform for artists to showcase and promote their work. Each artist has it’s own page on the platform with bio and links. If you like what you hear, you can always donate via the tip button.

The site is not as mobile friendly as you would expect, but the iOS and Android apps are a good alternative.

Pay attention to the license box next to each track. While most tracks feature a Creative Commons license, some use an FMA license restricted to personal use. There is no easy way to sort for commercial use licenses, so take a close look at any song before using it.

ccMixter

You already have permission. This is the moto ccMixter features on its homepage. A clean and responsive interface will help you navigate ccMixter’s impressive collection of sound files. There are three main categories to choose from: Film and Video, Commercial Projects and Video Games.

You can navigate files via tag search. Choose genres, instruments or style to narrow down your search. Also, don’t forget to filter for the license you need.

While ccMixter has no problems with quantity, it does have some issues with the quality of the files uploaded. Not everyone has the latest tools, inspiration or skills to produce high-quality music, so you’ll spend some time here to find a suitable track.

The entire ccMixter sound collection is available under an attribution license. As long as you give credit to the artist, you’re free to use it for whatever project you have in mind.

FreeSound

FreeSound is a project founded by the Universitat Pompeu Fabra of Barcelona and aims to create a collaborative database of audio snippets, samples recordings. Being a community-driven project, FreeSound has an excellent forum board with thousands and thousands of threads. Review sounds, get feedback on submissions, post requests, showcase projects and browse a legal and attribution section forum. FreeSound is the definition of a community project.

While, at the first glance, the UI seems antiquated and unintuitive, you’ll get the hang of it in minutes. The best way to start is via the search bar and work your way around from there. No matter what kind of sound you need, you’ll find it. Each file has a specification box with info on the license, type of file, duration, size, bit-depth, channels and sample rate.

Next to each file, you’ll find the three types of licenses available on FreeSound: zero (CC0), attribution (BY) and attribution noncommercial (BY-NC).

Incompetech

While Incompetech’s music database is much smaller than FreeSound or ccMixter, you’ll appreciate the granular filtering capabilities. In addition to genre, tempo or length, you can also refine your search by “feeling,” which should help you find the perfect track for your project. You can preview the track on the site and download it as *.mp3.

All the files on Incompetech are available under a CC-BY license, but you have to either credit the author. If attribution is not wanted or impossible, a commercial license is available.

FreePD

FreePD is a repository of music and sound released under a public domain license. There are 800+ files to choose from in eight categories. You can download them at once for $25. Remember, this is not a license fee; you only pay for the commodity of a single download. FreePD is maintained by Kevin Macleod, also behind the Incompetech project, so many of the tracks you’ll find here are his creations.

Musopen

Founded in 2012, Musopen is a non-profit website that hosts music recordings, music sheets, sounds, apps and even educational materials without copyright restrictions. Musopen is on a mission to offer free music to anyone. Unlike other websites, Musopen is focused on classical instrumental music and covers various musical themes such as Baroque, Classical, Medieval or Renaissance. Navigating the extensive catalog is easy either by using the navigation menu or by typing a keyword in the search bar. All files can be previewed online, downloaded or bookmarked for later.

Up to five items can be downloaded per day. Those who need the download limit lifted or want to support Musopen’s mission to offer free music to anyone, can upgrade to paid memberships. Memberships come with lossless formats, music requests and unlimited downloads.

YouTube Audio Library

The Youtube Audio Library is an extensive curated library of permissible license audio files that you can use on the platform and outside it.  The library has two big categories — free music and sound effects.

Furthermore, a filtering system is available to sort by genre, mood, instrument, duration or attribution. The download format is an 320kbs bitrate *mp3.

Non-Commercial vs. Commercial Use

CC defines noncommercial as “not primarily intended for or directed toward commercial advantage or monetary compensation.” While the definition may seem vague, it was specially designed this way, to protect both the licensor and the licensee. When in doubt, look for a commercial permissible license, ask the licensor for an exemption or pay for the commercial use.

Here are some examples:

Using a CC-BY-NC song for a wedding video = Non-commercial

Using a CC-BY-NC song to showcase the same wedding video on the videographer’s website = Commercial

Using a CC-BY-NC song as the soundtrack to a summer trip on a personal website with no ads = Non-commercial

Using a CC-BY-NC song as the soundtrack to a summer trip on a travel blog that uses ads or any other monetization methods = Commercial

Using a CC-BY-NC song in a Vimeo video = Non-Commercial (if you disable monetization)

Using a CC-BY-NC song in a YouTube video = Commercial (btw, CC-BY is the only CC license that complies with YouTube’s ToS)

In some legislation, the legal doctrine may cover some use case scenarios as fair use, meaning that you could still use CC-BY-NC audio on commercial websites, but, do you want to deal with a possible violation of copyright laws? For example, in 2014, Deutschlandradio, a non-commercial broadcaster in Germany, featured a cc-by-nc photograph on its website. The author sued Deutschlandradio and won on the basis that, in German law, non-commercial use means personal use. While the broadcaster is indeed a non-commercial organization, the business model alone was not enough for an exemption.

Conclusion: Always Check the License

If you want to be safe, you should only use CC0 or CC-BY licensed music. For any other license, carefully check and follow the requirements. If you are in doubt get in touch with the artist or with a lawyer. Better safe than sorry. While most of the time you’ll get an e-mail requesting a takedown of infringing content, there is always the possibility of legal action. Trust me, you don’t want to deal with it.

You can also pay for a commercial license. There are plenty of libraries where you can get high-quality music and sound effects for a reasonable price. By doing so, you will reward creators for their efforts and encourage them to create more content. Of course, you can do the same for authors that share their works under CC licenses. Most of them probably accept contributions.

So, if you have any question on the topic, know a great CC library that I’ve skipped or want to showcase your videos, drop a line in the comments.

http://j.mp/2S4y2pN via Designmodo URL : http://j.mp/2hBowrF

[lundeby]

The Life and Fiery Death of the World’s Biggest Treehouse

The Life and Fiery Death of the World’s Biggest Treehouse

Its dedicated, sagelike maker isn’t at all upset.

Matthew Taub

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/ministers-treehouse

May 4, 2020

For the thousands of people around the world who’d once visited and admired the world’s largest treehouse in Crossville, Tennessee, the news came as an awful shock. In October 2019, a blaze consumed the singular construction. But for Horace Burgess, the treehouse’s architect, this is just how things go. He was well acquainted with how it feels to lose your own, self-built treehouse in an angry conflagration. Heck, he’d already burned one down himself.

“It was just evil,” says Burgess of the older treehouse he built and then razed back in the 1980s. There was “no good about it.” The house had ended up serving as Burgess’s hideaway for doing drugs, which he committed to quitting after the deaths of some friends. Trouble was, the house itself had become part of the habit. A voice came to Burgess, saying that he had to burn the house down if he was going to rebuild his life. And it wasn’t just any voice.

People typically think “you’re a little bit crazy when you say that God spoke to you,” Burgess admits, “but really he’s the one that tells us to put our pants on in the morning.” Looking back, Burgess says that burning that first treehouse down—on God’s advice—was “probably the most sane moment in my life.”

Having freed himself from the demons trapped in that treehouse, Burgess, a pastor who grew up in Crossville, set about dedicating his life to religion and his community. Ironically, those commitments quickly brought him right back to building treehouses. After all, he knew he could do it well, and he understood that if he could share it with others it could serve as a positive force in the community rather than as a destructive force in his private life. “It was just something I enjoyed doing,” he says, seemingly uninterested in understanding why. As an aside, he mentions casually that he’d actually completed five or six treehouses in total by that point in time—even if people only ever seem to talk about the one that was about to come.

So, in 1993, Burgess got down to work on his family’s farm—139 acres that, according to Burgess, once contained a “zoo” with two of each animal, like a landlocked Noah’s Ark in central Tennessee. Not knowing where things would lead, he simply started by building a staircase, one he actually called the “Stairway to Nowhere.” It was more meditative than anything else. “I had totally turned my life over to the lord,” he says, and inspiration struck one day when he was actually “sitting down and praying for anything but a treehouse.” It was then that “the Spirit of God quickened me,” he says, and Horace Burgess gave in to the treehouse impulse and resolved to turn the Stairway to Nowhere into the world’s largest arboreal construct. And why not the largest? God had promised Burgess, after all, that he would never run out of material as long as he kept building, and building, and building. It sounds Old Testament stuff.

“I’m getting ready to build the world’s largest treehouse out here,” Burgess told his neighbors after the revelation. Half-informing them of his decision, half-asking for their permission, he understood that the undertaking would impact the whole community. “Someday you’ll have to watch when you pull out of your driveway,” he told them. They told him to go for it, though he suspects that “about 12 years later, they were wishing they had never agreed.”

For the next dozen years, Burgess just kept building. Higher and higher, wider and wider, until, plank by plank, nail by painstaking nail, he had single-handedly built a mansion extending 97 feet into the air. The numbers—a quarter-million nails, for example—are just one way to appreciate the scale of Burgess’s achievement. With such a monumental product at the end, it can be easy to overlook the daily grind, the unromantic resourcefulness that turned his inspiration into reality.

Burgess says he “tore down barns and outbuildings, and people would have different kinds of places that they would want me to clean up” in exchange for the dislodged materials. This ongoing bartering process allowed Burgess to state that the entire treehouse was made of recycled wood, and with other kinds of recycled materials. And, thank God for that. Burgess says that over the course of the 12 years of construction, the cost of nails more than doubled.

He never stopped, never doubted the project, never got hurt beyond small cuts from nails here and there. He says he saw it like his own personal Field of Dreams, encouraged by the conviction—“without a shadow of a doubt”—that if he built it, “they” would come. Indeed they did. Once Burgess put a roof over the treehouse and opened it to visitors, in 2005, he was quickly welcoming guests from all over the country and even the world. Many simply caught chance glimpses of the treehouse as they passed through, many others planned road-trips specifically to see it. Still others, says Burgess, flew in from as far away as England, France, and Guatemala, among other places. Couples even started lining up to get married in the treehouse, and Burgess told The New York Times that he officiated some 23 weddings there. On account of Burgess’s vocation and the elevated aura, the site came to be known as the Minister’s Treehouse.

“Just like architectural marvels of old, it was a modern-day example of human ingenuity and determination.”

Those who made it to the treehouse, even years ago, still attest to its grandeur, as if it was an icon of ancient architecture. “Looking up at it from the ground, I couldn’t get my head around the fact that one man had created this place all by himself,” says Chad Gallivanter, a videographer who visited the treehouse back in 2009, in a written message. “Just like architectural marvels of old, it was a modern-day example of human ingenuity and determination.”

Pete Nelson—a professional treehouse architect who has built more than 350 over the course of his career, and who hosts the show Treehouse Masters on Animal Planet—was similarly impressed. “As a builder,” says Nelson, “I was just really intrigued by how he managed to take what were clearly just leftover scraps and turn them into this edifice.” With first-hand knowledge of what goes into creating “something like that, and knowing it was just him,” all Nelson could say was, “Wow, this guy is the real deal.” Indeed, Nelson returned years later with a camera crew to shoot an episode of Treehouse Masters about Burgess’s creation.

And so, for years, Horace Burgess played the humble carnival barker, welcoming strangers into his mystical offroad apparition. That changed in 2012, when the authorities permanently shut down visits over safety concerns. According to Burgess, a retired engineer who had come by the treehouse wrote to the state that he “had seen some things that was unsafe,” leading to an inspection that resulted in the declaration of a public hazard. The state, says Burgess, wanted him to pay for new engineering work to be done to bring the treehouse up to code. Burgess wasn’t interested.

“Everything in it was unsafe,” Burgess admits with a laugh. “I see no way that you could make a 97-foot treehouse safe,” at least not in the legal sense. While no visitors had ever been hurt, Burgess didn’t fight the decision—just as he had done before, he simply let it go. He sold the property and returned to private life, his massive creation looming just down the road in majestic obsolescence.

Glenn Clark, the most recent owner of the property, told local television station WBIR that he had no intention of tearing the treehouse down, had no idea what caused the fire, and was upset about its destruction. Clark could’t be reached for comment.

Not everyone, however, was willing to let it go. Lindsey Turner, a graphic designer from western Tennessee, visited the treehouse years after it was formally closed, and trespassed onto the property in 2015. “I just love strange, relatively little-known, off places,” she says, likening the treehouse’s spirit to that of the “Mindfield” in Brownsville, Tennessee, a kind of physical diary documenting the life of the artist, Billy Tripp. The treehouse, she says, was “a living piece of art that was constantly changing. I just thought that’s something I’ve got to try to see”—even if that meant getting loose with the law.

She braved the condemned public hazard on her own, and wrote in a blog postthat “I felt my stomach jump up to my throat as I thought about how I was two, three, four, five floors up on wooden boards that were constructed by a man with no blueprints”—a sensation not exactly quelled by the “widely spaced floor boards” that allowed her to look down and see just how high she had climbed. Still, in yet another nod to Burgess’s amateur architectural prowess, she says it all felt “surprisingly stable.”

The musician Lilly Hiatt, who visited the treehouse just in summer 2019, felt safe for reasons beyond the building’s structural integrity. She understood that Burgess “had so much thoughtfulness in his heart when he was making this,” and she could feel that. She “felt very comforted,” she says, “by the inspiration of it all,” adding that the feeling she had in the house was more intense than any she’s gotten inside a traditional church. “It felt very loving,” she says, and in turn she “didn’t feel too guilty about the trespassing.” It was clear from standing inside that Burgess “built this because he wanted people to see it and feel inspired by it, and that’s what I came here to do.” If she were caught, she figured, “maybe he’ll pardon me.”

Each of these visitors remembers the treehouse for its sheer expansiveness and scale, physically and spiritually, the sense that it was somehow infinite unto itself. “Just when you thought you couldn’t go any further,” writes Gallivanter, “another staircase revealed itself.” Exploring it was a kind of journey through unrelated ephemera that combined to create their own world: furniture, appliances, statues of the 12 apostles, a basketball hoop, graffiti. At its center was an enormous chapel, replete with pews, a pulpit, and a large cross. “I couldn’t get over how massive this room was,” writes Gallivanter. “It was a testament to the man’s faith and what he valued in life.” Burgess thought it fitting to have a church in the trees: “There’s just something about being up above things,” he says, that makes it all “a little bit more tolerable.”

That peace of mind seems to have returned to ground level with Burgess, who met the treehouse’s demise with predictably sagelike stoicism. Fifteen minutes—that’s all it took for the flames to consign his masterpiece to memory. And we’ll probably never even know why: The weather was clear on that October night, and there was no electricity in the structure. Trevor Kerley, Chief of the Cumberland County Fire Department, says the current property owner declined to have the fire investigated.

It’s tolerable for Burgess, in part, because he had already lost something before losing the structure itself. What meant most to him about the treehouse was meeting “a lot of wonderful people” whom he would never have otherwise met—but those introductions essentially stopped when the site was closed.

Past visitors seem to be taking it harder, and in the initial weeks following the fire, Burgess says he was hearing from several people per day. “You don’t know how anything touches another person,” he says. “It’s just story after story of how people were blessed when they visited the house.” Hiatt says that her visit filled her with “a lot of hope,” with “realizing how compelled humans can be by a higher calling.” The Minister’s Treehouse didn’t charge admission, or propel Burgess to any sort of conventional fame. It just was—a defiant, aspirational, proudly strange manifestation of arbitrary inspiration. It “will now be the stuff of legend,” says Turner.

Don’t expect Burgess to tell you what, if anything, will rise in its place. “I’m just waiting,” he says, “on what God wants me to do next.”

You can join the conversation about this and other stories in the Atlas Obscura Community Forums.

[yeskraim]

The gadgets that refuse to die

Or is it? Turns out, it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes, if they garner enough of a fanbase, it’s possible for so-called obsolete gadgets to get a second lease on life. Sometimes, thanks to the combination of open-source software and a passionate community, beloved gadgets can live on for years after they’ve supposedly run their course.

Rebble: Pebble’s Return

One of the best examples of that is the Pebble. Having raised over $10 million on Kickstarter, the smartwatch effectively put the crowdfunding site on the map (it remained the most funded project on Kickstarter for years). And that was just the original; subsequent iterations like the Pebble Time and the Pebble 2 would also break Kickstarter records. The latter raised over $12 million while the former raised a whopping $20 million, and is still the number one most funded project on Kickstarter to this day. Despite the arrival of the Apple Watch and Android Wear, it’s clear that Pebble had a devout following.

David Groom, known online as “ishotjr,” was one of them. He was an early backer, and eventually acquired every single Pebble device that he could get his hands on. When the company announced that third-party developers could create smart straps for the Pebble Time, he was especially excited. “I was like, no way,” Groom, a self-described hardware hacker, told Engadget. “I could interface my Pebble with an Arduino and stuff! I was freaking out.” He was so excited about it that he traveled all the way from his home in Ann Arbor, Michigan to a hackathon in Boulder, Colorado. The long trip was worth it, however, because he wound up winning the contest. “That was the turning point. I met all the Pebble people, and everyone was so awesome. I was deep in it.”

Groom ended up throwing himself into the Pebble community. He helped organize local events, curated the app store, and even co-authored a book on Pebble development. “I was doing the maximum amount of Pebble stuff I could,” he said. He would also spend a lot of time in Pebble-related Slack and Discord channels. “We have this community, mostly thanks to Pebble’s amazing developer relations team.”

In late 2016, however, the tide turned. Groom and his friends heard of layoffs at Pebble, as well as rumors that it would be shutting down. Then the news broke of the Fitbit acquisition. “That really accelerated the level of freakouts,” he said. “We all panicked.” After all, a smartwatch isn’t much use if the apps won’t work.

But instead of suffering quietly, the Pebble developer community took action. “We were downloading everything we could,” said Groom. “People wrote scripts to grab all the SDK, the documentation, all of it.” Two days later, Rebble, a resource site for all things Pebble, was born. In Rebble’s inaugural blog post, Groom wrote: “The aim of Rebble is to bring the many disparate efforts under a single banner, concentrating energy and enthusiasm to maximize the likelihood of continuance and resurgence of Pebble as a platform.” From then on, the crew got to work reverse engineering APIs, writing documentation and attempting to build a new home for users.

Fitbit did support existing Pebble devices for a while, but the company ultimately pulled the plug on June 30th 2018. Mere months before that, however, Groom and co. introduced Rebble Web Services, a replacement for Pebble’s soon-to-be shut down servers. Surprisingly, Rebble even worked with Fitbit to make the transition as smooth as possible.

Katharine Berry, a Rebble co-founder, said in a blog post that the team was grateful for Fitbit’s support: “[Fitbit has] been keeping the Pebble servers running even longer than they’d originally announced, and they’ve given us some needed extra time to come up with a solution for you. If Fitbit had not purchased Pebble, it’s likely that the Pebble servers would have shut down with no notice at all.”

Several years later, and the Rebble website is still going strong, with over a hundred or so users still making use of their Pebbles. Rebble is able to keep it all going thanks to Patreon donations and the work of a handful of volunteers. When asked what sort of technical skill I’d need to load Rebble onto my Pebble, Groom said all I needed was the ability to click on a link. “There’s a how-to section and an FAQ as well,” he added. There’s even customer support. “We have a whole customer service system,” Groom said. “There’s a support ticket system, and a Discord channel where people can ask for help.”

Chumby’s resurrection

Pebble is not the only gadget that has survived long past its expiration date. Remember the Chumby? The cute smart alarm clock debuted in 2006, long before Amazon revealed its Echo Show smart display. It offered quick, glanceable information like the weather, Facebook and Twitter posts, RSS feeds, digital photos and video streams. “The Chumby was introduced shortly after WiFi was introduced,” Andrew “bunnie” Huang, Chumby’s founder, told Engadget. “To rewind to those times, there were no smartphones, and if you wanted to use your computer away from your desk, it meant dragging an ethernet cord to your bedside.”

Despite its adorable nature, the Chumby was really more of a proof-of-concept for the underlying software which was meant to be run on TVs as well as PCs. In fact, Sony used a modified Chumby OS for the now-defunct Sony Dash, which was similarly dubbed as a “personal internet viewer” designed to sit on your nightstand.

With the recession in 2008 and the arrival of the iPhone, Chumby’s days were numbered. Plus, instead of using Javascript/HTML5 for its widget framework, it used Adobe Flashlite, which grew out of favor with developers; Adobe eventually retired support for it. Still, Huang said that nearly 100,000 Chumby units were sold (Sony Dash sales, however, are unknown). Without the service, they would be effectively useless.

But this was another case where a beloved gadget found new life. Duane Maxwell, who was the CTO and one of the founders of Chumby, continued to support it long after Chumby ceased operations in 2012. As the primary author of the control panel, he said he knew more about the overall system than pretty much anyone associated with the company.

“A couple of volunteers, including myself, continued to manage the system for about a year until the money ran out to support the back end,” Maxwell told Engadget in an email. “There was a company hired by the creditors that was supposed to sell the assets of the company, and although they did manage to find buyers for the furniture etc, they did not have the expertise to sell the intellectual property or electronics.”

So, Maxwell formed a company called Blue Octy LLC, and made a cash offer to the shareholders. It was accepted, which gave him ownership of the physical servers as well as the software, domains, databases, documentation, trademarks and copyright. After some time completely rewriting the backend to “more contemporary software standards” he’s managed to update about 100 widgets and added almost 30 more.

“By the time I was done, from a user-facing standpoint, the new system was functionally identical to the original Chumby backend service,” said Maxwell. That said, it cost a lot of money to host the server and keep it running, and he was only one person. So, he created a tiered subscription. If all you wanted to do with your Chumby was to use it as a cute alarm clock that played music, there was no cost. But as soon as you wanted to add widgets back into the mix, that would cost $3 a month. Thankfully, that subscription is per user, so if you had more than one device, that price would cover all of them.

“We also provide email support and occasionally repair devices,” said Maxwell. “The new system came online in 2014 and has been running continuously since.” When Sony discontinued the Dash, Maxwell was able to allow Dash owners to use its service too.

Further, Maxwell’s wife manages “The Chumby Store,” which sells replacement parts such as power supplies. “Some users donate devices they no longer want, which we refurbish and sell as well. Those folks that don’t want subscriptions, but still want to provide financial support can also buy charms, stickers and other swag.”

The night of the living dead… gadget

The Pebble and Chumby are just two examples of so-called obsolete gadgets that have been brought back to life. There was the Nabaztag, a WiFi-enabled robotic bunny released in 2005 that conveyed information through wiggling its ears, changing colors and making sounds. It officially died in 2011 when the Mindscape company ended support for it, though it was resurrected later through open source means. Last year, the original design team even ran a successful crowdfunding campaign to bring the Raspberry Pi-based version of it back to production. Still, this appears to be a one-time project, and it’s also clearly meant for those with quite a bit of technical know-how.

Then there’s Berg’s Little Printer, which was a strange yet adorable internet-connected receipt printer that debuted in 2012 but shuttered in 2014. The idea behind this quirky gadget was that you could print out the weather report, to-do lists and your daily schedule, all on physical paper with little fuss and low cost. Berg did turn the printer’s commercial code into an open online platform called Sirius, but unless you had some technical knowledge, your Little Printer was still a brick. In 2019, however, a company called Nord Projects resurrected it with a brand new iOS app plus a new feature: you could use it to send and receive messages from other Little Printers. Think of it as a text, but in physical form. At the point of this writing, the service still seems to be up and running, so existing Little Printer users can try it out if they wish.

There are likely other devices that have survived obsolescence — maybe even some of your favorites — but they’re obviously a pretty rare phenomenon. For the most part, we still caution most consumers that their favorite connected gadget won’t last. But who knows, if its fanbase is passionate enough, and if there’s someone out there willing to spend time and energy keeping it alive, then it might be worth it to hold on to your old gadgets just a little while longer. Not only is that good for the environment, it’s good for the pocketbook too. It could even mean a less cluttered junk drawer.

Images: Engadget (Pebble watch); Getty Images (Chumby with coffee): All others are press images.

The post The gadgets that refuse to die appeared first on Gadgets To Make Life Easier.

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[enrica534games-blog]

5 Romantic GAMING Ideas

Gaming Blogs

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Firstly, we fucking loved Atari. It's difficult to envision how loved Atari was back then, specifically in this day and age but for a bunch of us developing up round then Atari had been synonymous with videogames, each in the arcade and at residence. The Atari VCS appears laughably primitive to us now but back then it was the most astounding factor, bringing an ever-increasing selection of brightly-coloured and playable games to your telly, beating the crap of the boring Pong-based machines that had come just before it. The name Atari” became synonymous with the act of gaming itself and kids would say they had been coming round to play Atari” (as would similarly occur with the name Nintendo” some years later). Plus they made or licensed some of the very best coin-ops in the arcade, so if you have been a gamer at the commence of the 80s, you by default loved Atari.

It appears there was no one at White Wolf who recognized that leaving this passage out would not impact the book in any meaningful way whatsoever - no one operating a game at their kitchen table is obtaining their gaming group's characters travel to Chechnya to discover the persecution of homosexuals throughout their Friday evening game, and if they are, they will have to be intelligent enough men and women to do so without White Wolf's published words. Leaving it out impacts nothing at all. Leaving it in affects the company's reputation.

Online gaming holds immense potential for developers as effectively as investors. The above list tends to make it apparent that on the web gaming has emerged as a major segment of the entertainment sector. With mobile games, spend-to-play games, and cost-free-to-play (F2P) games becoming even extra creative, it is anticipated that the worldwide on-line gaming market will develop at an immense rate.

Whether it is the NES Classic Edition, the Xbox One's capability to play Xbox 360 games via backward compatibility, or the revival of nostalgic game consoles from generations past, the retro gaming craze has in no way been greater. Satisfy your retro fix with Ideal Buy's wide choice of retro consoles and accessories, and show off your retro pride with Figures & Plush Toys of your favourite video game characters.

When it comes to mobile gaming, Android no longer finds itself in the shadow cast by the iPhone. And that is great news if you've gotten your hands on game-friendly phones like the Galaxy Note 9 , ROG telephone or Razer Telephone two — or genuinely, any brand new Android phone ready to fill up with all sorts of games. Browse via Google Play, and you will discover a surplus of top rated games across a wide selection of genres. Whether or not it is action and adventure, puzzle games, or titles that the entire loved ones can appreciate, our roundup of the ideal games obtainable for Android offers one thing for each sort of gamer.

For the moment, traditional consoles are extra well-known than ever, but it really is not a stretch to consider them dying out. Cloud gaming technology is rapidly maturing to the point exactly where it could effortlessly come to be the mainstream choice, even if other folks continue to exist for enthusiasts. Equivalent to how film buffs still seek out physical media and music fans nevertheless commit thousands on record collections, specialised hardware will likely usually have a spot in the properties of hardcore gamers.

The higher mobile development price is driven by both organic growth, lifting the overall marketplace, and cannibalistic development, at the expense of other segments. In addition to the initial casualties of mobile development (handheld console and on the web casual and social gaming), Newzoo notes indicators of slower growth in (on the net) Pc games and MMOs as spending is diverted to mobile devices. Mobile is now anticipated to turn out to be the largest game segment by revenues in 2015.

It would not be a surprise to come across a substantial quantity of our viewers being devoted gamers. In today's context, it is a affordable thing to take into account progressing your business enterprise or career in the field of gaming. And for a great explanation as well as it is such as an exciting enterprise venture. But, gamers as a crowd are fickle, especially when it comes to design and functionality.

Revenues of the Southeast Asian games market place are anticipated to double to $two.2Bn by 2017. Thailand will stay the largest industry in terms of gaming revenues in Southeast Asia, closely followed by Indonesia and Malaysia. Singapore will continue to develop but will drop industry share to faster growing countries. Vietnam and Thailand will develop in line with the general market place, keeping their industry share.

The firm prides itself on taking distinct approaches to developing its item lines. Through 2012 Green Man Gaming acquired the Playfire social gaming network to each broaden its user base, as well as leverage the wealth of player information accessible. The firm has also got into independent game publishing in 2014. To much better have an understanding of how Green Man Gaming got to exactly where it is, and exactly where the on-line retailer fits in amongst bigger digital distributors such as Steam and Origin, DFC spoke with founder and chief executive Paul Sulyok.

What Can You Do To help Accumulate The GAMING From Destruction In Group Media?

I run a gaming weblog myself and I've personally identified that my most well-liked posts feature older games. If you continuously chase the newer trends, you will be below continual strain to maintain reviewing those new games. It does properly for traffic but it means that you have to retain pouring time and sources into it at all hours of the day.

Though lots of of smartphone gaming apps pale in comparison to these games that are created specifically for handheld gaming consoles like the PlayStation Transportable, the Nintendo DS3, and other folks, they can nevertheless, supply you with virtually the similar level of gaming experience. This can be further enhanced if you use the Power A MOGA Pro Mobile Gaming Method that features an Xbox 1-inspired game controller that you can use to attach your Android-primarily based smartphone or tablet. It comes total with full-sized grips, dual analog sticks, D-pads, illuminated action buttons, triggers, and even shoulder buttons to mimic the gaming expertise of a genuine gaming console. Make confident you also check the rest of our Xbox a single accessories for much more excellent goods like this.

You are quietly accepting and at peace with your choice to turn into a board gamer for life. Your loved ones knows you really like board games and most likely play them with you. Your close friends know enjoy board games, and you have great gaming groups. You have committed to assigning portion of your residence to be a board gaming area. For the very first time, you've started to remove games from your collection. Possibly you have sold the games, or you just don't have space to hold virtually all of them. Mentally you accept that you do not need to have to play each and every game, and you've in all probability narrowed down a handful of games that you want to play regularly.

Play is a bold and minimalist absolutely free WordPress how to monetize gaming blog theme best for the gamers if you are pondering to make a great gaming web-site. This theme is totally integrated with WooComerce plugin that aids you to open an on the internet business enterprise. It is created with lots of wonderful features that support you to build a large number of versatile content. This theme is Search engine optimization optimized that is perfect to begin your journey in the gaming market. The theme is actively maintained and often updated prior to every single important WordPress release. And the theme looks outstanding on all the screen sizes.

[gailmalooft]

Distiller’s American Whiskey Reward Information – 2018

Selecting out a dozen whiskeys from American manufacturers is a difficult activity, however any individual’s gotta do it. Those whiskeys have all been launched previously 12 months and all are extremely really helpful for the whiskey drinker for your existence—which incorporates you! If you happen to’re no longer certain what to shop for, let our American Whiskey Reward Information for 2018 assist you to out.

BOURBON PICKS

Those bourbon alternatives aren’t elderly in anything else however new, charred American oak barrels. Vintage flavors are provide with each and every pick out coming in at no less than 100 evidence. Really useful for the traditionalist.

Previous Fitzgerald Bottled-in-Bond nine 12 months / Photograph Credit score: Previous Fitzgerald

FOUR ROSES 130TH ANNIVERSARY SMALL BATCH BOURBON

4 Roses 130th Anniversary Restricted Version Small Batch Bourbon marks the 130th anniversary for the logo which introduced in 1888. Crafted through grasp distiller Brent Elliott, the Kentucky directly bourbon is comprised of bourbons elderly 10-16 years with various mash expenses and yeast recipes. Bottled at a barrel power of 108.three evidence, you’ll in finding cherry fruit, leather-based and cooked apples. SRP $140

OLD FITZGERALD BOTTLED IN BOND 9 YEAR (FALL 2018)

This Previous Fitzgerald Bottled-in-Bond Sequence is scheduled to be launched on an allotted foundation each and every spring and fall all over the following 5 years. The spring editions will characteristic a inexperienced label whilst the autumn releases will endure a black one. The packaging for this bottle used to be impressed through an unique 1950s Previous Fitzgerald diamond decanter. The Fall 2018 bottling marks the second one unlock within the wheated bourbon collection. Brown butter, pork jerky and coconut are simply some of the flavors to find. SRP $90

KING OF KENTUCKY 14 YEAR KENTUCKY STRAIGHT BOURBON

King of Kentucky is a whiskey emblem that used to be first presented in 1881. Brown-Forman received the logo in 1936 however retired it in 1968. Now 50 years later, they have got resurrected King of Kentucky, now as a Kentucky Immediately Bourbon (previously it used to be a mixed whiskey). The title is a connection with horse racing, “the game of kings”. Elderly 14 years, it spent the primary 7 in a heat-cycled warehouse and the final 7 years with out. Those are unmarried barrel releases, so be expecting to peer evidence starting from 125-135. Handiest 960 bottles to be had. Be expecting loads of oak affect with vanilla, barrel spices and a protracted end. SRP $199

BOURBON BARREL FINISHES

Those bourbon alternatives used barrels which elderly one thing rather than whiskey. This gives an added layer of fruit for each and every pick out. Really useful for the gourmand.

Wild Turkey Grasp’s Stay Revival / Photograph Credit score: Wild Turkey

WILD TURKEY MASTER’S KEEP REVIVAL

That is the 3rd U.S. expression underneath the Grasp’s Stay collection. It used to be impressed through Wild Turkey Signature, which Jimmy Russell presented within the early 2000s. For this bottling, Eddie Russell traveled to Jerez, Spain to supply the 20 year-old oloroso sherry barrels utilized in completing. The bourbon elderly for 12-15 years in new, charred American oak and ahead of being transferred to those sherry barrels. Search for flavors of berries, chocolate and pancakes—want I say extra? This one’s within the working for my best whiskey of the 12 months, so when you don’t purchase a bottle, all of the extra for me! SRP $150

PARKER’S HERITAGE BARREL FINISHED

Barrel Completed marks the 12th version of Parker’s Heritage, a restricted version version whiskey named in honor of the past due Heaven Hill grasp distiller Parker Beam. Barrel Completed is comprised of bourbons that elderly for 7-Eight years at the higher flooring of Rickhouse Q. The bourbon then spends 4 months in barrels that in the past held orange curaçao liqueur ahead of bottling. Tastes of dried orange peel with out overpowering the vintage bourbon flavors. A bourbon worthy of Parker’s title certainly. SRP $89.99

ANGEL’S ENVY CASK STRENGTH BOURBON (2018 EDITION)

This cask power Kentucky directly bourbon elderly for as much as 7 years. The bourbon barrels are hand-selected and mixed ahead of completing its maturation in port wine casks. First launched in 2012, Angel’s Envy Cask Energy Bourbon 2018 Version is bottled at 124 evidence. The cask power bottlings are all the time particular and this 12 months’s model isn’t any other. A stupendous after dinner sipper. SRP $200

RYE PICKS

If you happen to occur to win the lottery—no longer being facetious, some states/retail retail outlets do lottery drawings for extremely allotted bottles—and get your arms on a bottle of Sazerac 18 Year or Thomas H. Handy, through all manner purchase them. For everybody else whose quantity isn’t drawn, those rye suggestions are for you. A perfect pick out for the ones on the lookout for spice.

Balcones Texas Rye 100 Evidence / Photograph Credit score: Balcones

ROSSVILLE UNION MASTER CRAFTED BARREL PROOF

Because the title suggests, that is the cask power model of Rossville Union, the primary proprietary rye emblem launched through MGP Substances. It’s comprised of a batch of 83 barrels—famous at the entrance of the bottle—that elderly in new, charred American oak. Barrel Evidence is bottled at 112.6 evidence and is to be had in make a choice markets within the Midwest and Southwest US. If you happen to’re a rye drinker, likelihood is that you’ve had whiskeys produced through MGP, as they provide one of the highest identified manufacturers within the industry. This barrel evidence rye is a brilliant worth. SRP $69.99

BALCONES TEXAS RYE 100 PROOF

Launched in mid-March 2018 in party of the distillery’s 10th anniversary, this rye whiskey from Balcones is comprised of 100% rye and is bottled at 100 evidence. The rye mash invoice comprises 80% uncooked elbon grain from north and northwest Texas in addition to crystal, chocolate and roasted rye types. Elderly just below two years, this product is matured in new American oak barrels and diluted to evidence with Hill Nation spring water. Cinnamon, darkish chocolate and toasted rye grain anticipate you. SRP $39.99

MICHTER’S 10 YEAR SINGLE BARREL RYE

After over a 12 months of inventory depletion, the newest batch of 10 12 months Unmarried Barrel Rye used to be made to be had in a while ahead of July 4th this 12 months. The barrels of rye have been chosen from Michter’s shares of getting old whiskeys through grasp of maturation Andrea Wilson and authorized through grasp distiller Pamela Heilmann. As is the case for Michter’s whiskeys, that is extremely allotted and in restricted availability. If you happen to do get your arms on a bottle, be expecting leather-based, cherry fruit and darkish spice. SRP $160

OTHER AMERICAN WHISKEYS TO CONSIDER

Those whiskey alternatives suppose out of doors the field when it comes to the mix, the barrel, or the mash invoice. And considered one of them is solely to this point in the market, it needed to be incorporated on this class. For the explorer.

Westland Garryana three|1 / Photograph Credit score: Westland

WESTLAND GARRYANA 3|1

Garryana three|1 is known as after the Quercus garryana, a species of white oak sourced from the Pacific Northwest. Earlier editions married ratios of full-term matured garry oak to conventional oak casks. On the other hand, restricted provides compelled grasp distiller Matt Hofmann and blender Shane Armstrong to make use of a sequence of vattings and casks finishes for this 12 months’s version. Along with Garry oak the distillery employs new American oak, 1st fill ex-bourbon, 1st fill ex-port and fill up ex-Westland casks. All of the barrels used in reality tie the whiskey in combination. SRP $149.99

WOODFORD RESERVE STRAIGHT MALT

That is the most recent member of Woodford Reserve’s Distiller’s Make a selection circle of relatives of whiskeys which incorporates the logo’s Straight Bourbon and Straight Rye whiskeys—all everlasting fixtures. The Immediately Malt is comprised of a mash invoice of 51% malted barley, 47% corn and a couple of% rye. As opposed to that, the whiskey is made identical to the opposite Distiller’s Make a selection whiskeys in all different spaces of manufacturing which incorporates getting old in new, charred American oak. This Immediately Malt differs from Scotch malt whisky because the latter should be comprised of 100% malted barley and new, charred oak barrels are infrequently used. It’s bottled at 90.four evidence. A perfect whiskey to check out, particularly when you’re simply entering malt whiskeys. SRP $34.99

BARRELL WHISKEY INFINITY BARREL PROJECT

This whiskey venture is a take off from the infinity bottle that some whiskey creditors and fanatics around the globe create. Pouring the final ounce or two in their whiskey as they end a bottle right into a separate bottle creates a novel mix. Barrell has carried out that with this whiskey which, for this batch, accommodates Tennessee whiskey and rye; Indiana whiskey completed in oloroso sherry butts; Indiana rye; 100% Polish malted rye completed in curaçao barrels; Scotch whisky; and Irish whiskey. Each and every unlock might be other, as new whiskeys might be added to the batch as wanted. The bottling date will mark the brand new batch. Bottled at cask power of 59.65% ABV. SRP $70.

With Distiller, you’ll all the time know what’s within the bottle ahead of you spend a cent. Price, Assessment and Uncover spirits! Head on over to Distiller, or obtain the app for iOS and Android these days!

The publish Distiller’s American Whiskey Gift Guide – 2018 seemed first on The Distiller Blog.

The post Distiller’s American Whiskey Reward Information – 2018 appeared first on Liquor Gift Baskets.

from http://liquorgiftbaskets.net/2018/11/24/distillers-american-whiskey-gift-guide-2018/

[ellismorris0]

Distiller’s American Whiskey Reward Information – 2018

Selecting out a dozen whiskeys from American manufacturers is a difficult activity, however any individual’s gotta do it. Those whiskeys have all been launched previously 12 months and all are extremely really helpful for the whiskey drinker for your existence—which incorporates you! If you happen to’re no longer certain what to shop for, let our American Whiskey Reward Information for 2018 assist you to out.

BOURBON PICKS

Those bourbon alternatives aren’t elderly in anything else however new, charred American oak barrels. Vintage flavors are provide with each and every pick out coming in at no less than 100 evidence. Really useful for the traditionalist.

Previous Fitzgerald Bottled-in-Bond nine 12 months / Photograph Credit score: Previous Fitzgerald

FOUR ROSES 130TH ANNIVERSARY SMALL BATCH BOURBON

4 Roses 130th Anniversary Restricted Version Small Batch Bourbon marks the 130th anniversary for the logo which introduced in 1888. Crafted through grasp distiller Brent Elliott, the Kentucky directly bourbon is comprised of bourbons elderly 10-16 years with various mash expenses and yeast recipes. Bottled at a barrel power of 108.three evidence, you’ll in finding cherry fruit, leather-based and cooked apples. SRP $140

OLD FITZGERALD BOTTLED IN BOND 9 YEAR (FALL 2018)

This Previous Fitzgerald Bottled-in-Bond Sequence is scheduled to be launched on an allotted foundation each and every spring and fall all over the following 5 years. The spring editions will characteristic a inexperienced label whilst the autumn releases will endure a black one. The packaging for this bottle used to be impressed through an unique 1950s Previous Fitzgerald diamond decanter. The Fall 2018 bottling marks the second one unlock within the wheated bourbon collection. Brown butter, pork jerky and coconut are simply some of the flavors to find. SRP $90

KING OF KENTUCKY 14 YEAR KENTUCKY STRAIGHT BOURBON

King of Kentucky is a whiskey emblem that used to be first presented in 1881. Brown-Forman received the logo in 1936 however retired it in 1968. Now 50 years later, they have got resurrected King of Kentucky, now as a Kentucky Immediately Bourbon (previously it used to be a mixed whiskey). The title is a connection with horse racing, “the game of kings”. Elderly 14 years, it spent the primary 7 in a heat-cycled warehouse and the final 7 years with out. Those are unmarried barrel releases, so be expecting to peer evidence starting from 125-135. Handiest 960 bottles to be had. Be expecting loads of oak affect with vanilla, barrel spices and a protracted end. SRP $199

BOURBON BARREL FINISHES

Those bourbon alternatives used barrels which elderly one thing rather than whiskey. This gives an added layer of fruit for each and every pick out. Really useful for the gourmand.

Wild Turkey Grasp’s Stay Revival / Photograph Credit score: Wild Turkey

WILD TURKEY MASTER’S KEEP REVIVAL

That is the 3rd U.S. expression underneath the Grasp’s Stay collection. It used to be impressed through Wild Turkey Signature, which Jimmy Russell presented within the early 2000s. For this bottling, Eddie Russell traveled to Jerez, Spain to supply the 20 year-old oloroso sherry barrels utilized in completing. The bourbon elderly for 12-15 years in new, charred American oak and ahead of being transferred to those sherry barrels. Search for flavors of berries, chocolate and pancakes—want I say extra? This one’s within the working for my best whiskey of the 12 months, so when you don’t purchase a bottle, all of the extra for me! SRP $150

PARKER’S HERITAGE BARREL FINISHED

Barrel Completed marks the 12th version of Parker’s Heritage, a restricted version version whiskey named in honor of the past due Heaven Hill grasp distiller Parker Beam. Barrel Completed is comprised of bourbons that elderly for 7-Eight years at the higher flooring of Rickhouse Q. The bourbon then spends 4 months in barrels that in the past held orange curaçao liqueur ahead of bottling. Tastes of dried orange peel with out overpowering the vintage bourbon flavors. A bourbon worthy of Parker’s title certainly. SRP $89.99

ANGEL’S ENVY CASK STRENGTH BOURBON (2018 EDITION)

This cask power Kentucky directly bourbon elderly for as much as 7 years. The bourbon barrels are hand-selected and mixed ahead of completing its maturation in port wine casks. First launched in 2012, Angel’s Envy Cask Energy Bourbon 2018 Version is bottled at 124 evidence. The cask power bottlings are all the time particular and this 12 months’s model isn’t any other. A stupendous after dinner sipper. SRP $200

RYE PICKS

If you happen to occur to win the lottery—no longer being facetious, some states/retail retail outlets do lottery drawings for extremely allotted bottles—and get your arms on a bottle of Sazerac 18 Year or Thomas H. Handy, through all manner purchase them. For everybody else whose quantity isn’t drawn, those rye suggestions are for you. A perfect pick out for the ones on the lookout for spice.

Balcones Texas Rye 100 Evidence / Photograph Credit score: Balcones

ROSSVILLE UNION MASTER CRAFTED BARREL PROOF

Because the title suggests, that is the cask power model of Rossville Union, the primary proprietary rye emblem launched through MGP Substances. It’s comprised of a batch of 83 barrels—famous at the entrance of the bottle—that elderly in new, charred American oak. Barrel Evidence is bottled at 112.6 evidence and is to be had in make a choice markets within the Midwest and Southwest US. If you happen to’re a rye drinker, likelihood is that you’ve had whiskeys produced through MGP, as they provide one of the highest identified manufacturers within the industry. This barrel evidence rye is a brilliant worth. SRP $69.99

BALCONES TEXAS RYE 100 PROOF

Launched in mid-March 2018 in party of the distillery’s 10th anniversary, this rye whiskey from Balcones is comprised of 100% rye and is bottled at 100 evidence. The rye mash invoice comprises 80% uncooked elbon grain from north and northwest Texas in addition to crystal, chocolate and roasted rye types. Elderly just below two years, this product is matured in new American oak barrels and diluted to evidence with Hill Nation spring water. Cinnamon, darkish chocolate and toasted rye grain anticipate you. SRP $39.99

MICHTER’S 10 YEAR SINGLE BARREL RYE

After over a 12 months of inventory depletion, the newest batch of 10 12 months Unmarried Barrel Rye used to be made to be had in a while ahead of July 4th this 12 months. The barrels of rye have been chosen from Michter’s shares of getting old whiskeys through grasp of maturation Andrea Wilson and authorized through grasp distiller Pamela Heilmann. As is the case for Michter’s whiskeys, that is extremely allotted and in restricted availability. If you happen to do get your arms on a bottle, be expecting leather-based, cherry fruit and darkish spice. SRP $160

OTHER AMERICAN WHISKEYS TO CONSIDER

Those whiskey alternatives suppose out of doors the field when it comes to the mix, the barrel, or the mash invoice. And considered one of them is solely to this point in the market, it needed to be incorporated on this class. For the explorer.

Westland Garryana three|1 / Photograph Credit score: Westland

WESTLAND GARRYANA 3|1

Garryana three|1 is known as after the Quercus garryana, a species of white oak sourced from the Pacific Northwest. Earlier editions married ratios of full-term matured garry oak to conventional oak casks. On the other hand, restricted provides compelled grasp distiller Matt Hofmann and blender Shane Armstrong to make use of a sequence of vattings and casks finishes for this 12 months’s version. Along with Garry oak the distillery employs new American oak, 1st fill ex-bourbon, 1st fill ex-port and fill up ex-Westland casks. All of the barrels used in reality tie the whiskey in combination. SRP $149.99

WOODFORD RESERVE STRAIGHT MALT

That is the most recent member of Woodford Reserve’s Distiller’s Make a selection circle of relatives of whiskeys which incorporates the logo’s Straight Bourbon and Straight Rye whiskeys—all everlasting fixtures. The Immediately Malt is comprised of a mash invoice of 51% malted barley, 47% corn and a couple of% rye. As opposed to that, the whiskey is made identical to the opposite Distiller’s Make a selection whiskeys in all different spaces of manufacturing which incorporates getting old in new, charred American oak. This Immediately Malt differs from Scotch malt whisky because the latter should be comprised of 100% malted barley and new, charred oak barrels are infrequently used. It’s bottled at 90.four evidence. A perfect whiskey to check out, particularly when you’re simply entering malt whiskeys. SRP $34.99

BARRELL WHISKEY INFINITY BARREL PROJECT

This whiskey venture is a take off from the infinity bottle that some whiskey creditors and fanatics around the globe create. Pouring the final ounce or two in their whiskey as they end a bottle right into a separate bottle creates a novel mix. Barrell has carried out that with this whiskey which, for this batch, accommodates Tennessee whiskey and rye; Indiana whiskey completed in oloroso sherry butts; Indiana rye; 100% Polish malted rye completed in curaçao barrels; Scotch whisky; and Irish whiskey. Each and every unlock might be other, as new whiskeys might be added to the batch as wanted. The bottling date will mark the brand new batch. Bottled at cask power of 59.65% ABV. SRP $70.

With Distiller, you’ll all the time know what’s within the bottle ahead of you spend a cent. Price, Assessment and Uncover spirits! Head on over to Distiller, or obtain the app for iOS and Android these days!

The publish Distiller’s American Whiskey Gift Guide – 2018 seemed first on The Distiller Blog.

The post Distiller’s American Whiskey Reward Information – 2018 appeared first on Liquor Gift Baskets.

from http://liquorgiftbaskets.net/2018/11/24/distillers-american-whiskey-gift-guide-2018/

[theconservativebrief]

In early July, a video game writer named Jessica Price embarked on a lengthy Twitter thread about the storytelling differences between games meant to be played as single-player experiences and games meant to be played by lots and lots of people at once, like Guild Wars 2, the massively multiplayer online role-playing game Price was a writer for.

Price’s thread received a perhaps too-haughty response from gaming YouTuber Deroir, who disagreed with some of what Price had to say. Price — who is, after all, a woman on the internet and thus is subject to a stunning amount of social media pushback and condescension — put Deroir on blast, first tweeting: “Today in being a female game dev: ‘Allow me–a person who does not work with you–explain to you how you do your job,’” and later following up with: “like, the next rando asshat who attempts to explain the concept of branching dialogue to me–as if, you know, having worked in game narrative for a fucking DECADE, I have never heard of it–is getting instablocked. PSA.”

The Guild Wars 2 community erupted in outrage at Price, who had either stuck up for herself against the endless onslaught of needling criticism that comes with being a woman online or had abused a position of authority to call a popular member of the gaming community an asshat by implication. (Price’s tweet didn’t directly call Deroir an asshat, but it was hard to miss her meaning.)

A few days later, ArenaNet, the company that makes Guild Wars 2, fired Price and her co-worker Peter Fries, who had defended Price in several Twitter threads. Price told Polygon that she was not given a chance to explain herself, or to apologize. She was simply fired, as was Fries.

The broad outlines of the controversy drew comparisons to Gamergate, the controversial movement that began in 2014 and involved a bunch of gamer and alt-right trolls using the cover of concern for ethics in video gaming as an excuse to harass women in the industry and to claim that calls for better representation and diversity within gaming were destroying video games.

Was Price’s firing a result of Gamergate’s actions? Not directly, no. Deroir was not a Gamergate adherent, and he wasn’t agitating for Price to be removed. Plus, plenty of people who found Price to be in the wrong weren’t Gamergaters.

But the answer to that question also has to be yes, because of how thoroughly the matter was discussed in Gamergate’s favored corners of the internet, which mostly jumped to Deroir’s defense, and because of how completely Gamergate changed the way games are talked about online and how women in the industry have to think about what might happen to them, something Price touches on in her Polygon interview.

In the years since 2014, Gamergate has metastasized and evolved into what feels like the entire alt-right movement, to the degree that many of the names boosted by the hyped-up controversy, names like Milo Yiannopoulos and Mike Cernovich, saw their stars only rise when they became central to online communities that backed the presidential candidacy of one Donald Trump. Gamergate went from a fringe movement that struck most people who heard about it as a weirdo curiosity to something that took over the country, as Vox’s Ezra Klein predicted it would with eerie accuracy in late 2014.

Gamergate didn’t manage to completely eliminate more diverse storytelling in games, as at least one silly controversy from this year would indicate, but it did slightly paralyze the video game industry. And that paralysis has begun to spread to other spheres of our culture.

Members of the movement have developed a tactic that they have deployed again and again to drive dissension in assorted online communities, using a mix of asymmetric warfare (in which they stage lots and lots of small strikes at giant corporations that don’t quite know what to do in response), the general lack of accountability applied to the movement’s various decentralized figures, and a tendency to turn progressive concerns inside out, in a weird attempt to reach parity. Gamergate didn’t really have anything to do with Price’s firing directly, but it also did, because Gamergate is now everywhere and everything.

The movement arguably elected a president. And just this past week, in a much higher-profile case than the firing of Jessica Price, it got director James Gunn fired from Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy franchise.

James Gunn attends the premiere of Ant-Man and the Wasp. Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Disney

Perhaps the above mention of “Mike Cernovich” has already pinged some part of your brain that remembers keywords from the news and headlines of the past few days; it was Cernovich who helped engineer a push to have Gunn fired from the third Guardians of the Galaxy film, by dredging up and encouraging his followers to circulate several of Gunn’s old tweets. Many of the tweets contain jokes about topics like rape and pedophilia.

Gunn’s roots are in over-the-top shlock cinema (he began his career at the famed low-budget genre movie company Troma, and his first credit is for writing Tromeo and Juliet). He directed the first two Guardians movies to general acclaim, and both his overall positivity and his general disdain for Trump have earned him more than a few left-leaning fans on social media platforms.

But that same disdain for Trump — and, of all things, the widespread pushback against a tweet in which filmmaker Mark Duplass praised conservative writer Ben Shapiro, which inspired Gunn to chime in on the fray — made Gunn a target for folks like Cernovich.

To be clear, Gunn’s past jokes are awful. They have surfaced before — most notably in 2012, when Gunn was hired to helm the first Guardians film. A blog post he had written in 2011 about which comic book characters fans would most like to have sex with drew ire from numerous left-leaning critics and social media personalities. Gunn ultimately apologized for his comments, and vowed to do better.

Later, in 2017, he told BuzzFeed that in the early days of his tenure at Marvel, he’d abandoned the persona that aimed to be a provocateur and adopted the persona that evolved into his current Twitter self. As described by BuzzFeed’s Adam B. Vary:

“I protect myself by writing scenes where people shoot people in the face,” Gunn said, chuckling. “And if I have to think around shooting someone in the face, it’s harder, but I think it’s more rewarding for me.” He cleared his throat. “I felt like Guardians forced me into a much deeper way of thinking about, you know, my relationship to people, I suppose. I was a very nasty guy on Twitter. It was a lot fucking edgy, in-your-face, dirty stuff. I suddenly was working for Marvel and Disney, and that didn’t seem like something I could do anymore. I thought that that would be a hindrance on my life. But the truth was it was a big, huge opening for me. I realized, a lot of that stuff is a way that I push away people. When I was forced into being this” — he moved his hand over his chest — “I felt more fully myself.”

And what’s “this”?

”Sensitive, I guess?” he said. “Positive. I mean, I really do love people. And by not having jokes to make about whatever was that offensive topic of the week, that forced me into just being who I really was, which was a pretty positive person. It felt like a relief.”

Yet all those old tweets remained on Twitter. Considering both Gunn’s 2011 blog post and the way he talks about his old tweets, it seems hard to believe that neither Marvel Studios nor its parent company, Disney, knew of their existence.

But when Cernovich surfaced a whole bunch of them last week in a graphic designed to strip them of as much context as possible, more and more conservative and alt-right personalities started passing them around, and Disney’s Alan Horn finally announced on Friday that Gunn would no longer be working for the company. (Gunn, for his part, made one of the better, “Yeah, I fucked up!” statements in a decade that seems to provide a new one every other week.)

Then Cernovich and his friends turned their sights on other comedy figures with provocative jokes in their past, like Michael Ian Black, Patton Oswalt, and Dan Harmon. Few of these men suffered consequences as severe as Gunn did for past jokes. But all were hounded endlessly on social media. Harmon even left Twitter.

I don’t particularly want to defend Gunn here. A lot of his old Twitter material is truly awful. It often takes the shape of a joke without actually being funny, which is deadly to anybody playing with comedic land mines like gags about child molestation and rape. Meanwhile, it’s also hard to believe that a white dude who directed two of the biggest movies of all time won’t get another chance in Hollywood, even if he has to step back and spend a year or two making indie movies.

But the way Gunn was fired sticks in my craw, just a little bit. It’s the biggest example yet of Gamergate and its ilk forcing a major public figure out of the job that made them a major public figure. By stripping events like this of their context, Cernovich and company might think they’re forcing the left to confront its own hypocrisies, or winning smaller battles in a larger culture war, or simply driving critics of the president off social media.

But make no mistake, they’re also destabilizing reality.

The cancellation of Roseanne in the wake of Roseanne Barr’s offensive tweet has been compared to Gunn’s firing. It shouldn’t be. ABC

The recent event that Gunn’s dismissal has drawn the most comparison to is ABC’s firing of Roseanne Barr from the now-canceled TV show that bore her name. (The series will live on as a spinoff titled The Conners, sans Barr.)

In that case, too, an awful tweet (in this case, a racist remark about former Obama staffer Valerie Jarrett) led to somebody who seemed protected by recent success being removed from the franchise that had yielded said success. And in that case, too, the person fired had worked for the Walt Disney Company, the biggest behemoth in the entertainment industry, one that’s about to swallow another behemoth like it’s a tiny little goldfish.

But pull back some of the layers and the two events couldn’t be more dissimilar. The most obvious difference is the timing. Gunn wrote his tweets in the late 2000s and early 2010s, before he was hired by Marvel and long before he became a critic of Trump. Barr’s tweet was published the morning she was fired.

This is not to say that Gunn’s tweets are excusable but, instead, to point to all the instances in which Barr posted horrible tweets shortly before ABC picked up a new season of Roseanne, only for Disney and ABC officials to laugh them off. If Disney meant to establish a precedent with what happened with Barr, it was essentially, “If you have skeletons in your closet, whatever. Just don’t add any new ones.” Gunn, if nothing else, had seemed scrupulous about the “not adding any new ones” part (that we know of so far, at least).

An even bigger difference between Gunn’s and Barr’s tweets concerns the context of the tweets and the intention behind them. Most of us might judge Gunn’s tweets as bad jokes, sure, but they’re mostly recognizable as jokes, and jokes in the style of 2000s Gen-X comedians trying like hell to provoke a reaction by being as “edgy” and offensive as possible.

What’s been interesting, too, is watching many of the comedians in question — including Gunn and Black but also folks like Sarah Silverman, Sacha Baron Cohen, and South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone — try to figure out how to navigate an era when the ironic offensiveness they trafficked in has been co-opted by a movement that insists they always meant it, deep down. Most have become vocal Trump critics. But few have managed the transition very easily.

This is the danger in making jokes rooted in ironic offensiveness, even when you’re a master of the form (like Silverman is). At a certain point, somebody is always laughing right alongside you and taking from the joke the message that racism is okay if it’s funny, or that provoking a reaction from someone by joking about rape is funnier than the joke itself.

Ironic offensiveness is far too easy to twist into the idea that nothing is worth caring about, and that getting those who do care to lash out is the funniest thing possible. That idea is now the basis of an entire internet culture that kept splintering, with one of those splinters becoming dedicated to trolling above all else. It eventually got to a point where nobody was sure who was serious and who was joking, or if there was even a difference.

Start to unpack the comedy of the figures listed above, or of their modern comedic descendants and fellow travelers like the terrifically funny hosts of the leftist podcast Chapo Trap House, and you’ll find that somewhere, deep down, they care deeply. The ironic offensiveness and shocking humor is meant to spur a reaction that hopefully guides you to a similar sense of caring and sincerity. But that requires genuine engagement and thought, and it’s easy to opt out of genuine engagement and thought when you’re laughing, in favor of taking the joke at face value.

This, I think, is what happened to Barr, who went from being an incisive comedian to being a millionaire many times over to being someone who promoted some of the same conspiracy theory nonsense that Cernovich peddles. (It’s no mistake that many of the tweets Cernovich surfaced to try to tank Michael Ian Black’s career involved him simply talking about pizza — in the worldview of Cernovich and Barr, there is a massive left-wing conspiracy to engage in pedophilia and protect fellow pedophiles, often using “pizza” as a code word for child sex.) Gunn didn’t really believe what he was saying; Barr did.

But does that context matter? Or does the statement itself matter? The fact is, both Barr and Gunn said horrible things. If we draw hard moral lines in the sand, if we insist that certain things matter to us and are important to uphold as ethical guidelines, does it ever matter that somebody might genuinely move past something bad they did in the past, might become a better person? Or are we all, always, defined by our darkest, worst moments?

Gamergate briefly devoured the internet in 2014. But it never really went away. Shutterstock

A little over a week ago, the most popular Gamergate subreddit, Kotaku in Action, briefly went offline. The user who had created the subreddit in the first place, david-me, then posted to r/Drama (a subreddit dedicated to tracing internal Reddit action and excitement) saying that he had shut down KIA. Explaining his logic, he wrote, in part:

KiA is one of the many cancerous growths that have infiltrated reddit. The internet. The world. I did this. Now I am undoing it. This abomination should have always been aborted.

So in this moment with years of contemplation, I am Stopping it. I’m closing shop and I can’t allow anyone to exploit my handicap. I’ve watched and read every day. Every single day. The mods are good at what they do, but they are moderating over a sub that should not exist. The users have created content that should not be. Topics that do not require debate. And often times molded by outside forces.

We are better than this. I should have been better than this. Just look at the comment history of any users history. The hate is spread by very few, but very often. Overwhelmingly so.

Reddit and it’s Admins are Me. They are the stewards of hate and divisiveness and they let it go. They go so far as to even claim there is nothing they can do about it. Those with upvotes could have been stopped by others with equally powerful downvotes. Fallacy. 100 evil people with 100,000 upvotes can not be defeated by 100,000 with 100 downvotes.

Reddit stepped in. It restored Kotaku in Action, and by extension restored one of Gamergate’s most prominent platforms. The subreddit hadn’t directly violated Reddit’s hate speech rules, even if it was constantly dancing on the very edge of them. If Kotaku in Action is a cancer, as its founder alleges, then it is one that remains free to spread unchecked.

When I was covering the early days of Gamergate, I believed the core of its argument was, in essence, that caring is a waste of time — that wanting video games to have more diverse characters and the industry that makes them to have better representation across the board was a pointless exercise. Gamergate adherents seemed to believe the focus of the industry should be making better games, an argument that ignored that for many, having more diverse games was necessary for having better games.

I was wrong. The core argument of Gamergate, and of the alt-right more generally, has always been that caring is hypocritical. Deep down, both movements believe that everybody is racist and sexist and homophobic, that the left, especially, is simply trying to lord a moral superiority over everybody else when, in secret cabals, they kidnap babies and run child molestation rings out of the basements of pizza restaurants. This idea is referred to as “virtue signaling,” meaning that there is no such thing as real virtue, only a pretend virtue that people deploy to try to win points with mainstream society, when everybody would be better off dropping the pretense and letting their most offensive freak flags fly.

And it’s tricky to combat the idea of virtue signaling, because of course we all virtue-signal all the time. Parents virtue-signal to teach their children, and corporations virtue-signal to make their products seem more palatable to a rapidly diversifying America, and I virtue-signal every time I tweet something that says I’m supportive of, say, the Black Lives Matter movement without joining affiliated protests.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t want the broader goals of BLM to be realized immediately, or that corporations won’t take your money regardless of color or creed, or that parents shouldn’t teach their children not to resort to violence when others say or do something they don’t like.

Virtue signaling is still virtue, even if in your heart, you’re so angry or upset that you feel like punching someone. Cynicism about the motivations behind good acts doesn’t erase that the acts are good. We all do all sorts of things for a variety of complicated reasons. It doesn’t erase the fact that the net result of those actions ultimately has very little to do with our motivations.

The argument of Cernovich and his cronies is, ultimately, that none of us is actually good, that we are all venal and horrible, and that we live in a world where we should all, always, be pitted against each other, defined only by our worst selves. And because nobody is ever going to fire Cernovich for all the times he’s tweeted about rape, because he’s a self-made media personality, the war becomes ever more asymmetric. The only people who can hold Gamergate and its adherents accountable are members of the movement, who will occasionally toss someone out but almost always do so under the pretense of a game or, worse, a joke.

There are real people whose lives are ruined, each and every day, by Cernovich and his ilk, and our modern corporate media climate continues to have no idea what to do about it, because the battles are deliberately constructed to strip away context and to predetermine their outcomes from the first.

Twitter isn’t actually everywhere, but it feels like it can be everywhere. Andrew Burton/Getty

I began this article with the story of Jessica Price instead of the story of James Gunn for a reason. It’s entirely possible you haven’t heard of either, but if you’ve only heard of one, it’s almost certainly James Gunn. Yet the devastation to Price’s career will be much more substantial than whatever happens to Gunn, who will at least be collecting residuals from the Guardians movies for the rest of time.

Price’s situation is a valuable lesson in how so much of this works because the circumstances of her firing are muddier and harder to prosecute. Yes, the representative of a corporation that sells a service probably shouldn’t be calling her customers asshats. But any woman with a large enough social media profile knows just how quickly a seemingly innocuous, “Actually…” can turn into a massive dogpile of Twitter yahoos with nothing better to do. What happened to Price ostensibly has nothing to do with Gamergate. But its shadow lurks nonetheless, because it is now everywhere.

Could Price have handled things better? Probably. Should she have been fired for how she did handle them? I find that a lot harder to argue. It suggests that every employee of every organization with a vaguely public-facing persona has to be 100 percent perfect all of the time across all platforms, or else. And if you remove enough context from just about anything, you can make somebody look as bad as you want, unless they’re anodyne and milquetoast all of the time, which leads to sitting US senators suggesting that perhaps James Gunn should be investigated for pedophilia “if the tweets are true.”

The idea, I guess, is that we should all just turn off the internet and step away from social media when things get too hairy. But I would hope we all realize how impossible that is most of the time, and it’s in that imbalance that Cernovich and his pals forever create dissension and uncertainty.

I said above that what Cernovich wants to do is destabilize reality; that might seem like a big leap, but think about it. We’ve already gone from “these are bad jokes” to “if the tweets are true,” from carefully examining the thing in context to quickly glancing at the thing with as little context as possible, so that it looks as bad as it could possibly be. And when you’re fighting a culture war, and grasping for requital, I suppose that’s fair. Culture wars, too, have their victims.

But this still leaves us with a world where the terms of the game are set by a bunch of people who argue not in good faith, but in a way designed to force everybody into the same bad-faith basket. They are interested not in finding a deeper truth but in the easy cynicism of believing that everybody is as dark-hearted and frightened as them, that the world is a place that can never be made better, so why even try? Flood the zone with enough bad information and turn reality into enough of a game and you can make anything you want seem believable, until bad jokes become a dark harbinger of a horrific reality looming just over the horizon.

I’ve never believed that approach can win in the long run. I’ve always believed that in the end, some sort of truth will hold fast, and the fever will break. But sometimes, of late, I wonder if I’m wrong — and the only thing that stops me from convincing myself is the fear that accepting even guarded optimism as futile would only turn me into one of them, forever spiraling and never reaching bottom.

Original Source -> James Gunn’s firing shows we’re still living in the Gamergate era

via The Conservative Brief

[sandyparish1-blog]

You'll Never ever Believe Which 'Game From Thrones' Actors Were In 'Harry Potter'.

In the tryout tape, which was originally posted to YouTube in 2012, but has because obtained additional traction, the actor does not family or communicate Drogo's vernacular, Dothraki. In North America, chili particle typically describes the blend of spices, typically cayenne, cumin, garlic powder, paprika, as well as oregano, commonly utilized to period chili-- as in, the dish. You at first obtain the feeling Rush Rally 2 is actually stepping an alright product line, doubtful whether to steer towards being actually a gallery game or a simulator. If you treasured this article and also you would like to be given more info regarding this site i implore you to visit our internet site. While manual 1 was perplexing with their video game structure, this was one thing appealing and also different. I just liked and also showed kindliness with Quin along with exactly what happened in manual one, today I merely preferred him to start with a fresh start. 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[vermille-amani]

What 2018 means to me

I have forgotten the existence of this blog! My last post was in 2012?? 2013?? WOW that was a loooooooong time ago.

I’m no longer active on blogger ever since i changed my url for a while and when i want to use it again, somebody else already took the goddamn url. seriously, i got extremely frustrated (that url has constant traffic coming. traffics = ads = revenue) and because of that, i am so over with blogspot.com. merajuk konon. 

OK nobody gonna read this who am i explaining to???? internet bots??

 I can’t believe i’m turning 25 this year, twenty fucking five years old. 

First of all, becoming an adult is hard, especially if you got nothing on you. like money and stuffs. Adulting is a lot more complicated than just getting married and live in a nice house with fast wifi.

How to buy a house? a car? 

How to apply for loans? 

How to be successful?

How to avoid being scammed? 

How to get married to a nice lad?

How to multiply my income?

How. How. How.

The worst part? You have to figure it out by yourself. 

Nobody’s going to hand it to you like a teacher teaches a student. Unless you ask someone. If you’re lucky enough, you got the right information. If you’re not, welcome to the real life! 

ON THE SIDE NOTE.

Being an adult so means freedom. That’s what i like about my life stage right now. I get to choose. I have options. Most of all, i have the capability to achieve whatever my goals are provided i work hard and smart. 

So in 2018, i’ve decided on some big changes. Made big decisions.

Getting control of my weight.

Girl...I have gained a whooping 10kg! The kilos started piling up somewhere in 2015-2016. In 2017 i tried to lose the excess weight but failed. countless times. Mostly due to half ass-ed effort and lack of discipline. Enough is enough. I’m tired of feeling uncomfortable with my own body. I hate feeling fat. I hate it when my thighs brush against each other when i walk. I hate my double chin. 

I make it a mission for me to change my lifestyle and eating habit. I’m on my 4th day of being vegan (for starters, i did a 1 week challenge) and so far my motivation is as hot as blue fire.

Practice creative living.

I was inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Creative Living”. She’s also the author of “Eat,Pray,Love”. It basically means living a life that is driven by curiosity rather than fear. It means doing whatever makes you feel alive, not necessarily making money from it. Just as long as you love doing it. It means believing that ideas have soul, and they come to you to be manifested by you. 

Confront my fears

Fear of failure.

Fear or rejection.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of being judged.

Get my own space/place.

This is uncertain. I wanted to stay in my current place because its sort of like a hostel for adults but unfortunately they didn’t have any single room available. I don’t want to move into a rental house because i refuse to socialize with the housemates and i am lazy as fuck. I don’t wanna think about cleaning schedule and dealing with 4-5 other brains which could be freaks or psychos. So right now, i’m completely grateful with what i have. I know something better is just waiting around the corner.

I find comfort in typing this post. It’s like i’m in the zone y’know. 

[andrewdburton]

Purpose and the Value of Money

I mentioned the other day that my financial philosophy has changed a bit since I left Get Rich Slowly in 2012. One of the biggest shifts is where I believe we should place our focus.

In the olden days, I thought money itself was a fine focus. I wanted out of debt. To achieve that goal, I needed money. Today, I view debt reduction as a side effect, not a goal.

After I got out of debt, I wanted to build my savings. To achieve that goal, I needed money. Today, I view savings as a side effect, not a goal.

After I built a modest nest egg, I wanted to gain greater wealth. To achieve that goal, I needed money. Today, I view wealth as a side effect, not a goal.

After I gained greater wealth, I realized something. I’d been chasing the wrong thing. What I really wanted was happiness, and happiness isn’t something you can just go out and grab. Just as debt reduction, savings, and wealth are side effects of certain choices, happiness too is a byproduct of our choices and the lives we lead. Happiness comes when our actions are aligned with our purpose.

Gradually, I came to understand that purpose was actually my goal all along. Truly, it’s the goal for each of us. When we have a purpose, and when we’re able to pursue that purpose with passion, everything seems to fall into place.

A big reason I returned to writing about money after three years away? I realized it’s part of my greater purpose. That’s also part of the reason I bought back Get Rich Slowly.

None of this is new, really. People have been thinking about this and talking about it for centuries. For millennia. But each of us needs to come to this realization on our own.

Some folks never have this epiphany, and that’s fine. But for those of us who do experience it, it can change our lives. It changes how we view our work, our play, our relationships — and our finances.

The Real Value of Money

This is all on my mind because a couple of weeks ago, I read an article from Mark Manson on the real value of money. Money, Manson says, is merely a store of value — one of many stores of value in our lives. It’s not that money is intrinsically valuable; it’s that it represents value.

He writes:

Money is a touchy subject. That’s because most of us, to a certain degree, associate a lot of our self-worth and identity to our job and how much money we make. It is, quite literally, a market valuation of our skills and competence as a person, and therefore we all get a little bit testy and scooch around uncomfortably in our chairs whenever money is brought up. But money is merely an arbitrary store of value. It is not value itself.

Manson spends some time discussing the nature of money: its nature, its fluidity, its effects. He describe how money creates what he calls “experience cycles”, some of which are positive, and some of which are negative. “People who fall into these experience cycles with their money soon become slaves to earning a buck,” Manson writes. “They begin to see money as the singular purpose of their life. It becomes the whole of their motivation.”

I think you can see where he’s going here. Like me (and millions before us), Manson is arguing that true wealth isn’t really about money.

To Manson, true wealth only occurs when the way you earn your money is aligned with your values. True wealth only occurs when the way you spend your money is aligned with your values. And true wealth only occurs when your earning and spending are aligned with each other. “Money is often a means towards success,” he writes, “but it is rarely success itself.”

Here’s the key takeaway:

The real value of money emerges when we leverage it as a tool towards our success rather than making it success itself. When we channel it towards the experiences and values that we find more important. When we use it to build an innovative business, when it fuels our creativity or infuses our community, when it supports our family or shares love with our friends or adds to our personal health and satisfaction.

In short, the real value of money comes when it helps you pursue your purpose.

Instead of simply reading the handful of quotes I’ve posted here, I encourage you to read the entire article at Manson’s always excellent site: The Real Value of Money.

Do What Works for You

And here’s the key takeaway I want you to get from my article: Purpose is powerful — but there’s no single right purpose for everyone. Each of us is different. Each of us has unique strengths and weakness, unique value systems. What’s right for me may not be right for you.

Over the years, I’ve met a lot of folks who are passionate followers of certain authors and speakers. Sometimes these authors and speakers focus on money, sometimes they focus on religion, sometimes they focus on politics. Their followers like what they say (or, sometimes, how they say it), and without realizing that it’s happened, they gradually adopt the value systems of these gurus. In effect, they adopt the guru’s purpose as their own. I think this is a mistake.

The path to purpose is different for each of us.

Instead of adopting a guru’s purpose (and belief system) as your own, you ought to sift through what he writes or says to find the bits that ring true to you, the elements that are applicable to your life.

The thing is, most of us never consciously consider our purpose. In fact, a lot of folks think this sort of talk is a bunch of new age bullshit. It isn’t. (Or it doesn’t have to be.) Taking time to consider what you truly want out of life is an excellent way to help steer you in a direction that makes you happy, a direction that brings you true wealth. (Coincidentally, it often leads to monetary wealth, as well.)

Who Are You? — and What Do You Want?

The first thing I ask readers to do at Money Boss is to to create a personal mission statement. I think that’s a great exercise, and I encourage you to do that too, but I don’t intend to fully promote my Money Boss agenda here at Get Rich Slowly.

Instead, I hope you’ll set aside a few minutes to answer three simple questions, questions that can at least prod you toward thinking more about your purpose — and how that purpose relates to money. These questions come from The Seven Stages of Money Maturity by George Kinder. (He, in turn, seems to have borrowed them from the work of time-management guru Alan Lakein.)

Here are the three questions Kinder uses to help his clients get clear on their values:

Imagine you’re financially secure. You have enough money to take care of your needs, both now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything? Let yourself go and describe your dreams. What would you do if money were no object?

Now imagine that you visit your doctor. She reveals you only have five to ten years left to live. You’ll never feel sick, but you’ll have no notice of the moment of your death. What will you do in the time you have remaining? Will you change your life? How will you change it? (Note that this question does not assume unlimited wealth.)

Finally, imagine your doctor shocks you with the news that you only have 24 hours to live. Nothing can be done. At this time tomorrow, you’ll be dead. What feelings arise as you confront your mortality? What did you miss? Who did you not get to be? What did you not get to do?

Answering the first question is easy (and fun). There are many things we’d do if money were no object. But as the questions progress, there’s a sort of funnel. They become more difficult to answer, and there are fewer possible responses.

According to Kinder, the third question usually generates responses that follow five general themes:

Family and relationships. Ninety percent of responses to the final question contain this topic.

Authenticity or spirituality. Many responses involve leading a more meaningful life.

Creativity. Surprisingly, a large number of respondents express a desire to do something creative: to write a science-fiction novel or to play guitar like Eric Clapton.

Giving back. Further down the list are themes about giving back to the community, about leaving a meaningful positive impact.

A “sense of place”. A fifth common theme (though nowhere near as prominent as the top three) is a desire to have some connection with place: a desire to be in nature, to live someplace different, or to help the environment.

Kinder says that some people — the facts and figures people — look at these questions and ask, “What does these have to do with money?” They have everything to do with money. When you understand what you want to do with your life, you can make choices — financial and otherwise — that genuinely reflect your values.

All of these questions are meant to cause the participant to ask herself, “Who am I as a person, stripped from what I do as a job every day? Is it possible to derive meaning and satisfaction with this stripped away?��� Inevitably, the answer is yes.

From my experience — I’ve used these questions in workshops for several years now — your answers can also be like a roadmap to help you discover true value of money.

The first time I wrote about Kinder’s work here at GRS was in February 2009. I’d just attended a conference where he presented his three questions. Answering them had a profound impact on my life, changing its course entirely. I didn’t see my exact purpose all at once, but I did see that my life wasn’t congruent with my values. I made changes — one of which was selling this site. (Ironic then that re-purchasing Get Rich Slowly is congruent with who I am in 2017!)

The post Purpose and the Value of Money appeared first on Get Rich Slowly.

from Finance http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2017/10/18/purpose-value-money/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[erindatesla]

Flasback Friday: Roach Guy, From Pests to Pal

January 09, 2014

If I'd had a blog in 2011, you would have heard a lot about "Roach Guy" in the last two years. (With some encouragement) I've decided to compile all the posts that would have been. At it's worst it's my greatest diary entry, at it's best it's the foundation for my first book. Either way, brace yourself for too many words.

Message Monday: The Roach Breeder November 2011

I messaged this guy on OKCupid because his profile said he had a collection of small pets and cared for his plants like children (or something). He only posted one picture on his profile and it was from a distance, so I don't even know what he looks like. I know, I'm so brave. His reply:

As it turns out, HE BREEDS ROACHES. It's important for you to know that one time when I saw a roach in the living room I locked myself in my bedroom to cry until my dad showed up to dispose of it. I was 20.

Yet for some reason, his roach breeding doesn't bother me that much. Granted, I will never enter his home so long as he willingly houses these pests, but I'm oddly intrigued by this guy. I've had a busy week so I've been slow to reply and got this message from him:

SHOULD I BE CONCERNED THAT I STILL WANT TO TALK TO HIM??

The good thing is that if I ever date him he already has a nickname among my friends: Roach Guy.

My Date With Roach Guy and His Toe Shoes December 2011

Against all odds (read: the fact that he breeds roaches), I ended up meeting Roach Guy (RG).

We met for dinner at Native Foods in Costa Mesa, since I'm a vegetarian and he is too! (pescetarian, technically). Not really knowing who to look for thanks to his lack of photos, when I first arrived and saw an old man, I feared I was being Catfished! Then I spotted him: bearded, nice smile, casual clothes and those shoes that have a slot for each toe. There's always a catch, right? If roaches weren't enough, he had to be wearing toe shoes??

I'm pretty shallow, so this should be a huge, waiving red flag for me. But I had the best time! His demeanor is calm and friendly, and we had so much to talk about. I found myself wanting to know everything about this human. Eventually we wondered why the restaurant employees were turning off the lights, only to realize it had been 4 hours and we'd shut the place down! Time had escaped us. I could maybe talk to him forever? But like, toe shoes.

"EXCUSE ME, MAY I LIVE ON YOUR DRESSER FOREVER?" - GERALD

Meet Gerald December 2011

I saw Roach Guy again -- we met at a cool spot of his choice in Santa Ana, and when I arrived he gave me an ORIGAMI DINOSAUR that was holding a bouquet of flowers.

Did you read that? An ORIGAMI DINOSAUR. That he made. With his hands. In his spare time. For me. it was holding flowers. HE SIGNED AND DATED THE BOTTOM. Internally I melted and swooned and died twice. Don't worry, externally I played it supes cool.

After dinner we caravanned to the beach to watch something magical take place in the sky or something. It was the night of winter solstice, so we found a spot amid the rocks to talk and gaze. A cop found us and told us the beach closed at 10 ("nature was closed," so to speak) so once he left we relocated to a grassy area nearby, only to be splashed suddenly by sprinklers. RG covered me with the blanket he'd brought and we found dry land. Eventually we made our way down to a lifeguard tower hidden away from the cops and sprinklers. To arrive there we had to go down a dark and quiet street, the kind in horror films where you scream at the girl "DON'T GO HE'S GOING TO MURDER YOU!" But thankfully I had politely asked him not to murder me earlier in the night, and he obliged. In retrospect, it could have been a scene from a rom-com: sitting on a lifeguard tower under the stars, talking, laughing ETC. ETC. ETC. In the moment it never seems as picturesque.

When my friends asked how the night went all I had to say was, "he gave me an origami dinosaur that was holding a bouquet of flowers" and they knew I was smitten.

Roaches Are Tenacious March 2012

They say roaches can live 10 days with their heads cut off. Who is out there testing this theory, I don't know. But apparently they're determined little suckers.

Just like Roach Guy.

Despite the fact that we had a great third date and that he's super sweet (he emailed me "e-soup" when I was sick!), I dropped him like hot potato. At first I told him I was busy, then I stopped replying to a majority of his texts and emails. I KNOW, I'm the worst! However, like a roach isn't phased by nuclear war, RG wasn't phased by my distance. He even asked me to get ice cream on Valentine's Day which provoked several feelings and thoughts: 1) how sweet 2) should I be insulted you think I'm free for Valentine's Day, on Valentine's Day 3) wow you're persistent it has been like six weeks, brah 4) that's really cute I love ice cream should I go.

I didn't go. Instead I continued to be vague and distant. Then he emailed me the most charming little letter you ever did see. I wish it was a love letter and not a "WTF happened, Erin" letter. My favorite sentence:

Although our times together were brief relative to linear time they were rich in substance, and there was a strange effect on the normal progression of time when you were around.

Isn't that the most poetic? I apologized and after some email banter we agreed to be friends in the future. I'm kind of into that idea but refuse to act interested because duh.

I Have A Crush On A Guy Who Once Bred Roaches January 2013

BLAPTICA DUBIA

After two hangouts that were pleasant but nothing to write home about, Roach Guy and I began talking on the phone more often. One day I said, "it's weird we still talk on the phone even though we've only met 5 times." What I meant was that we were essentially strangers, yet I felt really comfortable talking to him at length. He misinterpreted that as "let's hang out," and I didn't correct him.

We were supposed to watch a movie at my apartment, but while he was driving over my friend offered me two free tickets for a Muse concert. I "asked" Roach Guy if that was okay (read: I dictated that we were going to a concert) and he agreed to go. The concert was great, yeah yeah yeah, but what really stands out is how much we LAUGHED. After the concert he was laying stretched out on my living room floor and I was sitting on my couch when I realized I had a crush on him. Well, more than a crush, I like him. After all this time! I try and find all these reasons not to like him such as,

1. he is repulsed by butter, which is my favorite food 2. he sleeps on his floor instead of using his bed 3. he despises authority figures while I'm over here like #respect.

While I would normally mock a guy for the above and blame these differences for a reason to distance myself, in this case it's made me realize that you can't just like piece of a person. When you like someone you like someone, and I like Roach Guy.

One night this month we talked on the phone for four hours. We discovered we could be silent without feeling strange, and we could talk about being silent without feeling strange, without feeling strange. During this conversation we made plans for him to come up and see a movie with me, and he asked if we could call that a date. After an extremely long pause I said sure. He had JUST told me twenty minutes earlier that he didn't want a significant other so that he could explore his path to enlightenment. MEANWHILE I'LL EXPLORE MY PATH TO HEARTBREAK.

The night of our date he put his arm around me during the movie, and afterwards we got pizza and ate it in my living room . He put concerted effort into befriending my ferocious chihuahua, and in no time they were buds, melting my heart once and for all.

QUIZ: ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE March 2013

BOXER JOHN CONTEH DRINKING BEER IN THE SHOWER DECEMBER 1978 (PIC: DM) THEN SO CAN I OKAY??

Like his namesake, Roach Guy has vanished into the dark. When we did speak briefly he said he is seeking introspection. (Introspecting? Is that a word, I don't know.)

He's doing exactly what I did to him when we first met, so I can't get mad, technically, without being a hypocrite.

I'm kind of mad. More like, sad, if anything. Like drink-beer-in-the-shower-while-singing-Rilo-Kiley-at-the-top-of-my-lungs-until-my-friend-shows-up-with-pizza-sad. GURLZ YOU KNOW WHERE I'M AT WUT UP.

This is a totally normal female reaction to a male, and I feel comfortable sharing it on the Internet in light of the fact that it may sound like a diary entry.

As such, I'm creating a quiz that any future dating prospects must complete:

QUIZ: ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE **Graded: PASS or FAIL 1. Are you "emotionally available"? a) yes b) no 2. If you answered "a" above, are you sure? a) yes b) no 3) Do you like butter? a) I fucking love it give me all the butter b) ew Correct answers: 1. a; 2. a 3. a

If you answered "b" to any of the above questions you cannot put your mouth on my mouth even if you're the funniest.

I'm Grateful for the Internet* January 10, 2014

*This isn't really a post about the Internet, per say.

The next time someone asks me my favorite place in the world I'm just going to be honest and say the Internet -- I spend all of my time there these days! Who cares where I am when I can talk to anyone just about anywhere from any of my devices!! In this day and age and decade of my life (#twentysomething), it's hard to meet people, and the Internet makes it easier. #single #nerd #dateme

ROACH GUY LOVES NEW GIRL.

Thinking about my addictive relationship to the Internet and therefore Facebook/Twitter/Blogs/OKCUPID, my mind wanders to Roach Guy. I made a friend on the Internet you guys!! It almost makes filtering through aggressive 46 year old men worth it.

After his introspection, Roach Guy eventually resurfaced from the dark, and though we fizzled out "romantically" many moons ago, we've maintained a friendship that I really appreciate.

Recently he asked how I would write about "Roach Guy" on my blog (he's a big supporter, thanks brah), and I told him I didn't know what exactly I'd write about him. He said I had a good point: there weren't any crazy stories besides his nickname and, "Other than distancing ourselves, which we both did in the same way, it was all just nice casual dates where we laughed and had delicious pizza." My gut reply was "eff you" because old crushes and darkness and emotions, but I took the high road (kind of) because he is my friend and like, #dignity.

Instead I called him out on the vagueness around whether our hangouts were "dates," and eventually he admitted that he'd been too cowardly to tell me he just wanted to be friends (you know, because I didn't catch on when he disappeared for a couple months). He, like most guys, can be clueless. Most likely he doesn't realize (or care) that my crush on him didn't just disappear when he did. Though he admits it was "cowardly" to not tell me his (lack of) feelings sooner, he also said I could have asked.

Well, one time when he left my house after a night "where we laughed and had delicious pizza" I asked if it was a date. He said "let's leave it open to interpretation." I digress, and this recent conversation about his (lack of) feelings for me is certainly not the point of this #FlashbackFriday.

In fact, I'm very much at peace with my friendship with Roach Guy -- I enjoy our texts, SnapChats and quarterly IRL hangouts quite a bit. It has made me realize the importance of BRUTAL HONESTY, OPENING ONES' HEART and COMMUNICATION in relationships - romantic or otherwise. Plus, it taught me a lot about the snap judgements I so often make. What if I'd written him off when he mentioned roaches?? I'd have missed out on an awesome friendship.

On February 2, 2013, RG and I grabbed beers in Long Beach. I'm going to end this with a few quotes from Roach Guy, unattached to each other but all from the same conversation about relationships and the friend zone (god I'm so thankful past Erin kept a journal and wrote down quotes like a stalker):

One day someone will see how kind I am and love me back.

I have so much love to give.

I will always like you and be attracted to you.

[char27martin]

I Landed 4 Book Deals in 1 Year With No Agent: Here’s How I Did It

The year 2016 was a banner year for me: I got four book deals with four different publishers! Three of those books were published in 2017, with the fourth scheduled for a spring 2018 release. It’s been an exciting ride, but also a complicated one: juggling several projects in various stages of production over the past year. There were many times when I had to clear my head to be sure I was responding to the right editor about the right project and keeping up with overlapping deadlines. Here’s how it all unfolded, and how I stayed sane throughout it all:

This guest post is by Susan Cushman. Cushman was co-director of the 2010 and 2013 Creative Nonfiction Conferences in Oxford, Mississippi, and director of the 2011 Memphis Creative Nonfiction Workshop. In addition to having over a dozen essays published in various anthologies, journals, and magazines, Cushman has authored two books and edited two, including Tangles and Plaques: A Mother and Daughter Face Alzheimer’s (eLectio Publishing, February 2017), A Second Blooming: Becoming the Women We Are Meant to Be (Mercer University Press, March 2017), author, Cherry Bomb, a novel (Dogwood Press, July 2017), Southern Writers on Writing (University Press of Mississippi, 2018). A native of Jackson, Mississippi, Cushman has lived in Memphis, Tenn. since 1988.

Book Deal 1: Cherry Bomb, my novel, was conceived about seven years ago. I had written my first novel a couple of years earlier, but it ended up on a shelf in my closet. One of the characters in that novel wouldn’t keep quiet, and she reappeared as Mare, the graffiti artist protagonist in Cherry Bomb. Once I completed the manuscript, I hired a freelance editor and also got feedback from several published authors who graciously served as early readers. Finally I was ready to find a literary agent to represent me and get me a book deal with one of the Big Five houses.

That’s when it all went a little sideways.

I spent six months querying roughly 75 literary agents. I did my homework—finding agents who represented books with similar themes as mine, or whose readers might also like my book. About 25 of them asked to see the full manuscript and complimented my writing style, which was encouraging. Then the rejections came. Most said things like “I can’t figure out to market this book,” or “I can’t find a niche for this.” Finally, an agent said she loved the book and wanted to work with me. She had represented a famous author whose book was full of art and religious overtones, like Cherry Bomb, so I thought it was a match made in heaven—until she started sending it to different editors (and charging me about $750 each time) who not only disagreed with each other, but who were trying to move the book in directions I didn’t want it to go. The agent was pushing me strongly toward the commercial fiction genre, while I was trying to hold onto what I hoped would be literary fiction. When she asked to send it to a third editor for another revision, I parted ways with her. It wasn’t an easy decision, as I felt I was leaving behind my dreams for a big book deal.

I only spent a few weeks querying agents again—maybe about 25 this time—before making the decision to look for an independent press that didn’t require agent representation. Researching my options online and through social media contacts, I eventually connected with Joe Lee of Dogwood Press, who had served on a panel at a writing conference I helped direct a few years ago. We signed a contract to publish my novel in July 2017.

During this lengthy process of birthing a novel, there were periods of relative inactivity that drove me crazy. Hence, I always had several varied projects in the back of my mind at the same time. I’m sure a single publisher would never have contracted me for such a wide-ranging mix of overlapping books, and I also tried not to talk too much about each deal with the other publishers. But having multiple projects in the hopper at once help eased my anxiety in the waiting periods.

Book Deal 2: Tangles and Plaques: A Mother and Daughter Face Alzheimer’s (eLectio Publishing, February 2017) had a completely different type of genesis. From 2008­–2016, I wrote 60 posts on my blog, Pen and Palette, about caregiving for my mother, who died from Alzheimer’s last May. A few months before her death, while I was still trying to find a publishing home for Cherry Bomb, I got the idea to collect those posts into a memoir/essay collection. I again did some online research into small presses. I got a quick response from eLectio Publishing in Little Elm, Texas, and the process was smooth and fast. They allowed me to include lots of photographs and, as with Dogwood Press, I was able to suggest artwork for the cover. They don’t have a publicity director, but marketing is something I actually enjoy, so I was off and running with more than a dozen events from March–May.

Book Deal 3: A Second Blooming: Becoming the Women We Are Meant to Be (Mercer University Press, March 2017) “bloomed” in the midst of my work on the first two projects. Three of my essays had been published in anthologies between 2012 and 2015, and I love the genre. So I decided to try my hand at putting together a collection. I invited twenty women to contribute (and they all said yes!) their stories of “second bloomings” after loss, illness, divorce, or in second careers, second marriages, or second “lives.” All of the contributors were published authors, including a few well-known ones, so this time I decided to query academic presses. In addition to Mercer University Press’ stellar reputation, I think it was their director Marc Jolley’s words that won me over: “If you don’t let us publish this, I’m still going to buy it for my wife!”

A Second Blooming is now in its third printing, and I had a ball visiting the hometowns (and states) of many of its authors for readings and signings with them at their local booksellers. At one point, one publisher expressed concern that marketing these books so close together was going to be a problem—that I would use up my reader base and wear out my welcome at bookstores. I’ve been amazed at how many bookstores have welcomed me back multiple times, and how many readers have come out for more than one of my events.  (There was only one situation that I wish I could go back and change: One of the premiere bookstores welcomed me for two events, but not for a third in the same year. The third book was my novel—the project I cared the most about—so I was disappointed at not being able to have a reading at this particular store for the novel. I should have discussed all three books with the store manager at the beginning of the year, and I would have probably been given the choice of which two I could have readings for.)

Book Deal 4: Southern Writers on Writing, my fourth book deal of 2016, was another product of those “slow weeks” between deadlines with the other three presses. (Yes, even with three books in the works you’ll still have slow weeks!) Having had so much fun and success with A Second Blooming, I wanted to create another anthology. This time I invited 26 southern authors (13 men and 13 women) to contribute to a book by southern writers about writing. Since I’m from Jackson, Mississippi, and went to school at the University of Mississippi, I decided to query the University Press of Mississippi. Fortunately they were interested right away, so I didn’t have to spend time looking for a publisher.

Working on two anthologies was a bit tricky, in that I would sometimes forget which contributors went with which book. I even sent an email to the wrong publisher once, with concerns about reprint rights for a previously published piece that we were including. Fortunately, she just laughed it off.

I keep hard copies of everything in file folders right next to my desk. When I’m finished working with some aspect of one project, I put that file folder away and get out another one to work on. It’s a form of physical compartmentalizing, and it helps keep me organized. I also keep a physical calendar on my desk (I don’t use an electronic one) and clearly mark each day’s deadlines, reminders, and appointments. This is crucial with so many marketing events overlapping with deadlines for editing, follow-up emails and calls to media folks and booksellers. These are my best multitasking tips:

Keep hard copies of all paperwork for each project in separate file folders on or near your desk. Put each one away when working with the contents of another one.

Be diligent with your calendar, whether you use electronic or handwritten format. Clearly mark all deadlines (I use lots of red ink and stars and yellow highlights) for each project.

Treat each project with respect—don’t hurry through what you might consider less pleasant tasks on one book to get to something that’s more fun on another project. This is tempting—I, for one, much prefer marketing and final editing to first drafts and heavy revisions—but you must stay disciplined.

Consider spacing the projects out a bit more than I’ve done. Two weeks apart for the release of my first two books was a bit tight. In retrospect, three to six months between projects might have been better. On the other hand, you don’t want to lose momentum when you’re excited about your work!

And yes—I’m already working on a fifth book. My first instinct was to write another novel, and I still may do that at some point, but for now I’m putting together another essay collection. This time the essays are all mine, and they reflect most of the important areas of my life: art, spirituality, mental health, family/adoption, and sexual abuse. When I started gathering all my essays—previously published and not-yet-published—I discovered I have over 55,000 words ready to be organized into a book. My publishing plan might surprise you, given the story you’ve just read: I plan to query literary agents for this one.

(To follow my journey, subscribe to my blog to find out what happens, friend me on Facebook, or follow me on Twitter. I’d love to e-meet you!)

    The post I Landed 4 Book Deals in 1 Year With No Agent: Here’s How I Did It appeared first on WritersDigest.com.

from Writing Editor Blogs – WritersDigest.com http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/there-are-no-rules/landed-4-book-deals-1-year-no-agent-heres

[ronaldmrashid]

Financial Dependence Is The Worst: Why Each Spouse Needs Their Own Bank Account

If you plan to get married, then you better plan not to get divorced. Otherwise, what’s the point? You’ll end up wasting money on lawyers. You’ll absolutely disrupt your finances. And if you have kids, they might have to go to therapy in order to make better sense of the cruel realities of the world.

According to a 2013 Kansas State University study of more than 4,500 couples, it found that arguments about money was by far the top predictor of divorce.

According to creditcards.com, approximately 7.2 million Americans (4.4 million men and 2.8 million women) have hidden a bank or credit card account from their live-in spouse or partner, the report found.

What’s going on? For one, if you are constantly feeling financially constraint, there’s no surprise that your relationship will suffer. Therefore, making enough money to live a comfortable lifestyle is important. Then getting 100% on the same page when it comes to spending and reaching financial targets is the obvious next step.

But even rich people go through breakups all the time. So clearly there’s something else going on after a couple starts earning a comfortable income as the hidden bank and credit card accounts survey indicates.

Welcome to the terrible world of financial dependence, where no matter how much your household earns, you’ll never feel free if you aren’t earning your own income. 

Why Every Spouse Should Have Their Own Bank Account

One of the best gifts you can give your spouse is the gift of financial independence. I’m not talking about showering your spouse with riches once you get married. I’m talking about supporting your spouse in making his or her own fortune in addition to contributing to the family fortune.

After all, financial independence by definition includes being financially independent from each other. Many of us remember the sheepish feeling of having to ask our parents for money growing up. The same feeling still exists as an adult without your own bank account.

Over the years, I’ve had over a hundred spouses tell me how they wish they had their own money to spend freely without fear of judgement from their spouses. Let me share three specific examples.

Husband of a heiress who lives in a mega mansion.

“Sam, the reason why I spend so much time trying to become a published author is because I want to make my own mark. Right now, I’m seen by strangers as just some chump who married into money. No matter how much I tell people I married for love, nobody will fully believe me. I want my own identity. I want to eat what I kill. I want to have the freedom to buy what I want without drawing from a pool of money my father-in law left us when he died. I don’t deserve it. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined a poor kid raised by a single mother would one day be asked to host political fundraisers at his home. I need to right the scale. “

Business school classmate who married a Google engineer back in 2007. 

“We live a comfortable life down in Menlo Park. Google’s stock is up more than 4X since we graduated back in 2006 and we feel financially secure. It’s wonderful being a full-time mother of two, but it’s exhausting as you’re now finding out. I had a great 10-year career working as a chemical engineer until we decided it was best for me to stay home. He made more and the family benefits at Google are amazing. But ever since I decided to be a SAHM in 2012, I miss the feeling of being able to make my own money and spend money on silly things without having to explain myself to my hubby.

Although we are a team, I’m always second guessing whether I should spend on even the simplest of indulgences. For example, when my back and hands were starting to kill me from having to rock my youngest to sleep for an hour each evening, all I wanted was to get an hour long massage. But instead of charging $120 on our joint credit card where he checks each line item, I decided to just spend $20 in cash on a chair massage at the mall because I was afraid he’d complain that he could easily give me a massage for free! I love my husband’s frugal ways, but his massages don’t come close to what professional hands can do.”

A reader shared one of the reasons why she got a divorce.

“We never made a lot of money, around $85,000 combined, or so I thought. He liked to handle the finances so I just let him do his thing. Then one day I found a pile of ATM withdrawal receipts stuffed in his coat pocket that totaled about $8,000 over the past three months. When I confronted him about the receipts, he admitted he had a separate account used for playing poker. He didn’t want me to worry, explaining to me poker was just a fun outlet.

It turns out he was actually a great poker player and had over $50,000 in the account! I was pretty proud of his success in the beginning, but then I realized he wasn’t always going to play poker during the nights he said he was. I won’t get into the details, but I strongly believe that if your partner isn’t completely honest about you about money, he’s probably hiding something else as well.”

Reason #1: The Release Valve

The common reason for each spouse wanting their own bank account is the desire for independence as all three examples demonstrate. There’s no greater feeling than being free to do whatever you want with your own money. Because it is impossible to 100% agree on every single aspect in life, having your own bank account provides a release valve when partners don’t completely see eye-to-eye on a particular expense so that pressure doesn’t build up to the point of explosion.

In the massage example, the husband couldn’t fully empathize why his wife would want to spend $120 + tip on a massage he thought he could provide for free. And because his wife doesn’t have a salary, she felt guilty spending $100 more than what she could get for a 25 minute chair massage at the mall.

Over time, resentment builds up by the wife, especially since taking care of two young children is way harder than going to work at Google for 10 hours a day. The husband, on the other hand, might disagree with her assessment and may begin to resent her for thinking this way given he’s purposefully shielded her from all the corporate BS he’s had to deal with.

Without a release valve, the chance for arguments and ultimately divorce increases.

Reason #2: The Insurance Policy

Having independence is just one reason why each spouse should have their own separate bank account. After all, before each partner met, each enjoyed independence for years. The other reason for having your own financial account is insurance.

Let’s say something bad were to happen to you and the legal system somehow ties up your assets in probate despite a clearly written will. Or perhaps your life insurance company decides not to pay out the claim you spent 15 years paying. Who knows what snafus await after an unfortunate event. They happen all the time.

If you have your own finances, you can more comfortably wait out the storm while the legal system makes you whole. In other words, your bank account is your worst case scenario. Knowing that my wife has her own healthy bank account let’s me die more peacefully knowing that at the very least, she’ll do just fine without me and our accumulated wealth and vice versa.

Related: How Much Life Insurance Do I Really Need?

Reason #3: The Financial Trainer

Just like how a workout buddy helps motivate you to do one more set or eat one less slice of pizza, your spouse can help motivate you to earn and save more as well.

By having separate financial accounts, you can clearly see where each of your finances stand. You can challenge each other to see who gets to a certain savings amount first. Or if your starting amounts are vastly different, you can challenge each other based on a percentage increase amount. The number of different challenges and the ways to get there are endless e.g. the many different types of side hustles and investments one can undertake to boost their income.

The ultimate goal is to push each other to achieve optimal finance performance while concurrently building a stronger financial life together. If you completely co-mingle your funds, it’s hard to tell exactly how much you’ve contributed to the household. The more murky your contribution, the easier it is to feel demotivated or be misinformed by how much you’ve contributed.

Keeping separate bank accounts also minimizes the temptation of “cheating” by overly relying on your spouse. Don’t take away your spouse’s sense of pride and accomplishment like the man in example #1.

The Horrors Of Having Separate Bank Accounts

I know by now a lot of you are completely befuddled with the idea of giving each spouse the gift of financial independence. I don’t blame you since for so long, the tradition has been for the husband to earn and the wife to stay at home. But it’s the year 2017 folks, modern up!

Believe in equality between men and women. Every little girl and boy growing up today should believe they can have a fantastic career and be financially independent on their own.

If you are financially independent, you can weather a breakup much easier. Don’t think divorce won’t ever happen to you since the statistics prove otherwise. If you are financially dependent on a person you no longer love, life won’t be easy.

But to recognize the other side, here are some aghast comments from my post, How To Overcome Money Addiction, when I wrote, “I borrowed $10,000 from my wife” to invest in an Austin, Texas real estate crowdfunding deal.

Aghast comment #1

“I will state flat out that I think everything should be shared and that I am a bit alarmed that you ‘borrowed $ from your wife’ although I don’t know your situation, I just want you to succeed, marriage and all, especially with all the baby talk on this blog as of late.”

Aghast comment #2

I hope you don’t take offense, as I have never looked into any surveys or studies on the subject, but I know several people whose marriages have ended and many of them kept separate accounts. It just seems like (to me) the two becoming one should mean everything!”

Aghast comment #3

“My wife and my finances are completely merged, so the concept of borrowing money from her is ridiculous!”

I have no problem with couples 100% mixing their finances together. I hope you have no problems with the way we’ve set up independent financial accounts and a joint account. But let me explain anyway why I used the term “borrowed.”

Since we first met, I’ve always wanted to give my wife everything I could conceivably offer. From paying off her college loans after my third year of work, to buying a house in San Francisco for both of us to live a more comfortable life while young, I’ve always had a desire to provide. Some might say these actions are the result of true love.

I owe her a lot because she has been with me since the beginning when we were broke college students. During my senior year while I was interviewing for jobs in NYC, she’d wake up at 5:30am just so she could call and make sure I wouldn’t oversleep for a 7am interview. We have a special relationship because money was never a deciding factor for why we came together. Further, I never want money to ever aversely affect our relationship.

I’m proud to say that she has never needed financial help from me. She enjoyed a fantastic 13 year career and was able to negotiate a severance in 2014 with some coaching by yours truly. She continued to work for two years after I negotiated my severance, even though she didn’t have to because she felt a great sense of accomplishment being her own financially independent woman. But after two years, I was too bored at home and wanted to spend more time with my best friend.

Because I care for her so much, I felt bad during my cash crunch to ask her for money to cover my investing addiction. I know we are life partners and share everything, but I just hate asking anybody for any money, especially someone I care about the most. Conversely, it’s easy to borrow money from a bank because you don’t nearly have the same relationship with an amorphous institution as you do your spouse.

We have separate bank accounts along with a joint bank account to provide maximum flexibility. We loved encouraging each other to save aggressively while we were both working. Now as business partners, we share profits evenly and always remind each other to mobilize our capital each month. We talk about all large financial decisions like buying a car or a house before doing anything, and for everything else, it doesn’t really matter.

The Stay At Home Spouse

So far I’ve addressed separate financial accounts between two working spouses. But how does a stay at home spouse expect to earn his or her own money if he or she doesn’t have a job? Well that’s easy. Being a stay at home parent is easily worth the median income of your city. And if you don’t believe so, then take the number of hours your stay at home spouse works and multiply it by the average hourly cost for daycare or a nanny. That is the amount of money he or she deserves to make.

Now take that monthly salary and subtract it from the day job working spouse’s salary, and that figure should be his or her income which can be spent however he or she chooses. Of course, it’s a good idea not to spend it all. The money should be allocated similarly to the way the day job working spouse’s money is allocated in terms of savings, investing, spending, and so forth.

If you believe in happiness, then you believe in financial independence for both spouses. And if you believe in financial independence, then you should not be opposed to each spouse having a separate bank account along with contributing to a joint account. The ultimate goal is to create household wealth together, while also ensuring each spouse never loses his or her freedom.

Happy Independence Day America!

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Readers, what are your thoughts about each spouse having their own bank account? If you are against financial independence, please explain. Don’t you think happier spouses result in happier marriages? What is the downside of having separate bank accounts plus a joint account?

Related:

The Average Net Worth For The Above Average Married Couple

Poor Little Rich Women (The New York Times)

from http://www.financialsamurai.com/financial-dependence-is-the-worst-why-each-spouse-needs-their-own-bank-account/