#not the one w cajun chicken bc it’s ……. not fucking cajun at all

[bibleofficial]

typical alcoholism L: shitting hurt

[shawtuzi]

finking of morning sex w plug!eren

mdni pls and thank you///cw include: black fem!reader, drug usage (weed), a lot of sexual tension, lazy morning sex that eventually turns kinda rough, some fluff

9:03 AM

the early morning sun nearly blinded you as eren opened the blacked out curtains in your shared bedroom. “ren what the fuck,” you whined burying your face in the plush pillow you were just a few seconds ago sleeping so peacefully on. eren chuckled, bringing a blunt he had freshly pearled to his lips that were still a bit swollen from last nights activities. you’d recently gotten into nibbling and biting on his lips during your intense kisses and although he found it extremely hot he was definitely paying the price for it.

“suns up mama, time to get up….unless you want me to finish this without you,” he smirked blowing a fat cloud of smoke in your direction. you lifted your head from the pillow, a deep scowl on your face. you begrudgingly sat up making eren grin, “yeah that’s what i thought, go freshen up real quick i’ll roll another one while you’re gone.” you let out a dramatic sigh before making your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face.

when you walked back into the room eren was laid up on the bed, little o shaped clouds of smoke flying into the air. “turn on some music,” he grumbled and you quirked a brow waiting for him to finish his sentence with a ‘please.’ when he saw you weren’t moving the realization hit him pretty damn quick, “sorry i meant turn on some music please.” you smiled and happily complied, turning on the speaker. you put on ‘feels like summer’ by childish gambino before flopping onto the bed. “careful baby careful—almost made me ash on my chest,” he chuckled giving your ass a light smack.

“yeah yeah whatever gimme some,” you plucked the blunt from his hands and took a long hit. you maneuvered your body onto his lap, his morning wood definitely not going unnoticed. “what’s on the agenda for today babydoll,” he asked tracing his name over and over on your thigh with his index finger. you handed the blunt back over to him before speaking, “mika invited us to brunch at one, then i have my nail appointment at four, we’ll have to do some grocery shopping tonight, and then i was thinking for dinner i could make that cajun chicken alfredo you like so much.” eren was trying to listen he was really was!! but it was so damn hard when your clothed pussy was directly against his dick that was practically straining against his boxers.

“you listening to me ren?” you giggled snapping your fingers in front of his face. a lazy grin broke out on his face and he nodded, “mhm of course i’m listenin’.” the room was slowly but surely becoming boxed and the more it did the more you and eren we’re feeling the effects of the drug. “had a dream about you last night,” you hummed, leaning back, resting your hands on his muscly thighs. eren smirked, his eyes drifting to your cunt that was practically swallowing your panties. he grabbed the second blunt he had rolled and lit it, “yeah? tell me all about it mama.”

“you were eating me out…and you had those fuckin’ grills in. you were doing such a good job i think i might’ve came in my sleep from it,” you sighed dreamily thinking of how damn fine eren always looked when he had his grills in. you felt eren’s dick twitch but didn’t dare say anything, deciding to tease him a little and see how long he’d last. he handed the blunt to you, a low groan rumbling in his chest. “those grills always make you so weak in the knees don’t they?” he said giving you a lazy smirk. his rough hands trailed from your thick thighs, up your tummy, and finally to your breasts where he gave them a soft squeeze. his thumbs brushed over your nipples and you shivered, nearly dropping the blunt in the process.

you head felt like someone had yanked out your brain and replaced it with hot air bc by god all you could think about right now was eren eren eren. “you dream about me a lot?” he asked, mindlessly toying with your breasts. oh he didn’t even know the half of it. you ran your tongue over your bottom lip, nodding at his question. you were supposed to be doing the teasing, but as always eren had the upper hand and was able to turn you into mush with just a few lewd touches. he looked like a dream right now—his jade eyes were red and hooded, his hair that was usually up was down and cascaded beautifully over his broad shoulders, and he had this damn smirk on his face that was getting your panties wetter by the minute.

‘rendezvous’ by partynextdoor (a song that just so happened to be on your sex playlist) began playing, increasing the sexual tension tenfold. eren’s nonchalant façade began to crumble once of felt your wetness begin to seep into the material of his boxers. “you know if you wanna fuck all you have to do is ask, can practically feel your heartbeat on my dick,” his words made your breath hitch making him smirk for the umpteenth time. “no you…no you can’t! don’t be weird,” you pouted slapping his chest. you hadn’t even realized how turned on you actually were until you felt how uncomfortably slick your pussy had gotten.

eren slowly pulled your panties to the side and this mf actually whistled when he finally laid eyes on your soaked center. “such a pretty pussy,” he mumbled to himself running a finger through your slit. eren took one final hit of the blunt before setting it in the ashtray on the bedside table. without warning he plunged two fingers in your cunt making you gasp but as soon as they were in he pulled them right back out. he brought his fingers to his lips and sucked your essence off of them until they were clean. “i think i’m gonna let you do the work this morning,” he smiled, snapping your panties back into place. you were taken aback at his words a soft ‘huh?’ leaving your pouting lips.

“this weed got me feeling kinda lazy, use me to get off baby i know you can do it,” he gave your thigh a few soft pats and you whined. you sat up just the slightest bit to pull eren’s boxers down mid thigh, his painfully hard dick slapping against his toned stomach. it was a struggle to get your panties off without fully standing up but you managed, and as soon as they were off you began grinding your pussy up and down his dick. each time his mushroom tip nudged against your clit you let out a little mewl that was music to eren’s ears. “goddamn babydoll haven’t even put it in yet and you’re already making my dick wet as fuck,” he groaned, digging his fingers into the plush of your thighs. your slick had his dick glistening in sunlight and man oh man was it a sight to see.

you didn’t even care that he wasn’t inside you yet, all you could focus on was how hard n warm his dick was. “you already gonna cum? hm?” eren breathlessly chuckled and you replied with a weak ‘uh huh.’ one side of eren wanted to take charge so bad and just fuck you silly, but the other part of him was loving how you were taking the lead and becoming so so consumed in the pleasure you were getting just from grinding on his dick.

within minutes you were cumming on his dick with a pathetic whimper, your hands slamming onto his chest so you were able to ride out your orgasm for as long as possible. you were incredibly sensitive in that moment thanks to the two blunts you previously smoked, but that didn’t stop you from wrapping your hand around eren’s dick, using your cum as a lubricant to slowly jerk him off. “just…just need a minute to regroup,” you breathlessly giggled, flicking your wrist a tad faster. eren groaned quietly, his eyes fluttering shut. “take all the time you need baby i’m—s-shit, i’m content as can be right now,” and he really was!! he had gods most beautiful creation taking care of him how could he not be loving life right now??

“‘kay think i’m ready,” you whispered to yourself before moving your body up until his tip was at your entrance. you slowly lowered yourself down, whining at the stretch. it rlly didn’t matter how many times you and eren had fucked you just couldn’t quite get used to the stinging stretch from that first push in. you finally bottomed out and eren’s hands wasted no time finding purchase on your hips. you felt so full.

“feels s’good ren,” you mewled, slowly moving your hips up and down. you pressed your lips to his in a needy kiss which he happily returned, shoving his tongue in your mouth in the process. “i know baby i know. feel so fuckin’ good—like heaven i swear you feel like heaven,” he grunted, bucking his hips up. you sucked his bottom lip into your mouth, giving it a few soft nibbles. ‘so cute’ he thought to himself as you suckled on his lip. he brought his thumb to your clit, rubbing lazy circles onto the throbbing nub. “keep doin’ that m’gonna cum again,” your voice was becoming slurred as your second orgasm of the day was approaching.

you buried your face in eren’s neck letting out little chants of his name as your orgasm washed over you. your mind was so fuzzy the only thing keeping you grounded was the smell of eren’s pine scented body wash. “come back to me baby it’s okay i got you,” he murmured in your ear, stroking your back gently. “want…want some more but i can’t do it, need you to take control please,” you whimpered, twirling your fingers in the silky soft strands of his hair.

eren pressed a kiss to the side of your head and wrapped his strong arms around your back before bucking his hips up. usually his pace would be fast and unforgiving, but he knew you had plans for the day and didn’t want to make you completely fucked out. “yeah jus’ like that baby…love the way you fuck me,” your honey smooth voice moaned directly into his ear. oh how eren loved the praise. eren glanced at the alarm clock on your side of the bed:

10:37 AM

as much as he wanted to savor this moment he knew you’d need at least a thirty minute breather to regroup from the sex, and then it would take you about a good hour to get ready for brunch so unfortunately he had to make this quick. his thrusts picked up and you squealed from how hard his dick was bumping into your pressure point. yeah you’d definitely need a pretty long break afterwards. you removed your face from his neck and after what felt like an eternity eren was able to see your gorgeous semi-fucked out face. you couldn’t help the little droplet of drool that escaped from your kiss swollen lips—he was fucking you that good.

“c’mon renny gimme that nut i need it,” you pouted, squishing his cheeks together and giving him a sloppy kiss. eren moaned into your mouth, his thrusts becoming sloppier by the second. “m’gonna give it to you don’t worry—f-fuck gonna…gonna fill that pretty pussy up,” he practically growled, giving you a harsh smack on your ass.

“gonna fill you up so full you’re gonna feel me in your tummy all—”

thrust

“fucking”

thrust

“day”

really really hard thrust

“oh shit!” you cried, unintentionally biting down pretty hard on eren’s poor bottom lip. the mix of pain and pleasure had eren’s eyes rolling as he finally came inside you with a deep groan. you weren’t too far behind, your orgasm hitting you like a truck. eren stilled his movements completely but kept your body in an iron grip against his. he hadn’t even realized your head had found purchase once again nuzzled into his neck until he heard little sniffles. worry began to coarse through his veins as he lifted your head from his neck, inspecting your face with his brows furrowed.

“what’s wrong? what happened? did i hurt you? why are you crying? talk to me please,” questions were coming out of his mouth left and right making you giggle. “wha-what? why are you laughing?” the smallest pout was settling on his lips and you internally cooed at how cute he was being. you cradled his jaw in your hands, giving his nose a soft kiss. “m’fine ren it was just a little intense, that shit is strong,” you laughed again, referring to the two roaches in the ashtray. eren let out a tiny sigh of relief after hearing you were okay, a small smile now making its way onto his lips. “damn you bit my lip kinda hard huh?” he chuckled, sweeping his tongue over his bottom lip and tasted the faintest bit of something metallic.

“m’sorry baby,” you frowned giving his lips three kisses. you slowly lifted yourself off of him making you both groan in unison. “i should probably go shower—don’t wanna be late,” you sighed, sitting up, careful not to let eren see the wince on your face. although eren was tough as nails, seeing you in any kind of pain after sex absolutely broke him.

eren sat up as well and followed you to the bathroom, his eyes drifting to the cum that slowly made its way down your thigh. “didn’t you already shower while i was sleep?” you quirked an eyebrow as steam began to fill the room. eren wrapped his arms around you from behind, giving your neck a sweet kiss, “i did but i certainly don’t mind taking another one with you.” you felt something hard poke at your back and it was all starting to make sense. “really eren? really? we just got done not even ten minutes ago,” you giggled breaking out of his hold. eren licked his lips as he examined your naked body, “s’not my fault ole boy likes you so much.”

“yeah whatever horndog.”

<333

[wecanlivelikejackxsallyifwewant]

So a week ago yesterday, we were back from Florida. I was given inspiration, from a friend, to recap what all we did (that I can remember) from our time in Florida so it can be solidified in history and I can look back on this post and reminisce! Here it goes!

August 10: All packed in the car, there was nothing else to do but go. My friend was staying with my dogs and it was so hard to say goodbye. Clayton hopped in the back seat, me in the front with my Halloween doggo blanket and my eye mask/head phone combo and Kevin driving. I specifically remember warning Clayton that he should switch sides bc at some point I’m going to want to recline my seat. I also specifically warned him that I snore really bad in the car 😬 idk what it is! Is it the angle of the chair, is it that I’m not laying flat? I truly don’t know. Anyway, that night was just driving, stopping for gas, smokin’ weed, and sleeping. Nothing to write home about.

August 11: We’ve arrived! Our condo is on the 3rd floor- all steps, no elevator 😑 it’s fine. We’re all sleep deprived, a little cranky and snippy w each other. It’s fine, we get over it once we see the view! Hermitage by The Bay!

… We start talking about all the stuff we want to do. We did none of it, but it was still a special time! We immediately unpack and unwind for a little bit. A couple naps. Then we linked up w the husband-to-be and hit the beach! Me, Kev and Matt went for a late night bite at Rockin’ Tacos. Bomb food!! Great street corn 🌽

August 12: We get pretty good nights rest! The beds were really comfortable- at least mine and Kevs was! We woke up leisurely and we hit this great Asian cuisine restaurant for lunch. So good. Rained for a bit, didn’t last long at all. Hit the beach again! Met a cute lil crab 🦀 his body was like the size of a silver dollar. Then we went to the strip cluuuuuuuub 💃 Nick fell in love w a beautiful, Colombian stripper. Clayton fell in love w a petite, blonde stripper. I met a stripper who was from MO! She hung out w me and the bride-to-be for the rest of the night fr, unless she was up of course. Two strippers told me my makeup looked amazing 💁‍♀️ We were given the most delicious shot from the bar tender: pineapple upside down shot. One word: DANGEROUS. Too good. Somewhere along the way “FF” was born 🙄 when I said it, it stood for “Fucking Fuck” others weren’t as kind *disappointment*

August 13: Woke up, went on a minor grocery store run then landed at Floyd’s Shrimp House. Cajun chicken pasta for me… you know the deal! We got a mountain of fried pickles. Then we did a night walk on the beach and some lounging around the condo. Had Whataburger for the first time!

August 14: Wedding Day! Dustin came over to avoid seeing his bride. We chilled. The wedding was great. I got a lot of good shots! There was definitely a storm a brewing!! We got off the beach just in time. The reception was great. Matt and his bridesmaid “hopped up” and Nick and his did a secret handshake. Cute. One person asked me if I got my makeup done w the bridal party, one person asked if I was a makeup artist and two people complimented my makeup! We danced forever. Don’t stop believing was the last song before it was over. Then we went to Vibe night club. The drama that ensued, pssssssht. Dumb. So, Matt saw these two girls, started talking to them, it was going fine. Then he starts yelling at them, the music did get louder but they kind of looked over at me w a weird look on their face. I talk to them one time and I’m a cockblock. Okay 🙄 we continue, they sat next to me so I talked to them a few times. Got them hooked up w a pineapple upside shot! They loved it. Matt tried to talk to them again but I said something while he was and he got mad again talking about me being a cockblock. I was TRYING to get them to talk to me more to trust me to enough to get them to at least dance w Nick and Matt but he didn’t give me a chance!! Matt dances w a crackhead and that was interesting. Anyway, it gets kind of boring honestly, doesn’t really start jumpin until this group of girls comes in and they’re all twerking on the dance floor, the only ones out there living they’re best lives! Then a bikini contest was happening but thankfully we all agreed to close out our tabs and leave so we were walking out the door when this happened. Bless. We get back to the condo, Kevin’s the first one to pass out. Nick and Matt are bad influences! *Shaaaaaaame* Then Matt passes out. Nick and I stay up talking for like an hour about tattoos and a bunch of other stuff. I’m pretty fucked up but not as much as him. So he inevitably ends up on the floor. I ask him if he wants help to bed, we get him on his feet and I’m like “okay, you ready to walk?” He says “yep!” Then instantly becomes dead weight. I drop this dude 🤣 I laugh at first but then make sure he’s okay and he didn’t hit his head or anything. He says he’s good so I get him a couple pillows and a blanket, he’s out. I’m the last one up!

August 15: We don’t start out great. Everyone’s in pain, Kev and I get into a fight- you know how people get when they’re all together for too long. You butt heads, it’s fine. We get past that and hit this amazing Hawaiian restaurant. Soo good. Then we meet up w the newlyweds and go to the pier. It was awesome! We saw dolphins 🐬 and sea turtles 🐢 and this pelican flew down right next to me! It was awesome. After that we go to the Crab Trap. Again, Cajun chicken pasta! Then we head to the condo to pack. ☹️ we had a good time and ate great food. I got some saltwater taffy from the crappy Irvin’s (there were two right across the street from each other) plus my souvenirs.

August 16: Nashville! On our way back we hit Nashville for some Jacks bbq. Made it home pretty late. The dogs went nuts! It was so good to see them 🐶🐶 Thank goodness we had the next day off!

August 17: Blaire is born!

August 18: I QUIT MY JOB!!

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

hi i saw this on @fruityfreddie​‘s blog (bless bri’s heart) and wanted to do it so i could take a mental break from writing this joe smut (it is.... overwhelming rn) so here u go

A - age: 19 (my fake id says 21 tho lmao)

B - birthplace: buttfuck egypt, iowa (yee yee boys)

C - current time: 8:15ish pm

D - drink you last had: topsy’s cherry limeade 

E - easiest person to talk to: my bff since 7th grade and our friend from D.C. they’re literally my ppl i love them so much even if we are wildly different ppl

F - favorite song: rocky mountain way by joe walsh/the eagles depending on who you are (six blade knife by dire straits is a v close second)

G - grossest memory: i was on winter break in cancun just this past december with my cousins and some friends and in the middle of the night my cousin literally started throwing up in the resort room’s bathroom and while she was throwing up all of the tequila she shit herself through her WHITE pajama shorts. iconic moment truly but disgusting the picture of it still haunts me. side note: at the resort i very drunk-ly karaoked we are the champions and made friends with a girl who karaoked dont stop me now so the power of queen is truly almighty

H - horror yes or horror no: as long as it has a good plot yet. horror for the sake of horror like all that jigsaw shit is STOOPID imo

I - in love: nope just livin life for me

J - jealous of people: only jealous of anita dobson and that is that

K - is there no k???? alrighty then i’m adding “kryptonite” (your biggest weakness): champagne, curly hair (ugh i’d give it all up for mark ruffalo), and cats

L - love at first sight or should i walk by again: i’m actually pretty sure i’m allergic to falling in love because i’ve been told i’m a detached person unless i rlly know someone so like.... your feet might fall off before i actually fall in love w u

M - middle name: renee

N - number of siblings: two (a younger brother and an older sister)

O - one wish: i rlly wanna be able to secure my ideal position in the field i’m currently studying (Social Media Management) so for me that would be like... managing the social media of an actor, musician, or someone in the fine arts side of things. hehe

P - person you last called: my brother bc we passed each other on the road and he had his new gf with him and i wanted to meet her

Q - question you’re always asked: are you adopted? bc the rest of my family has brown hair, and 3/4 of the rest of my family has brown eyes, dark skin, and curly hair. now tell me how tf this fits in with any of that:

R - reading anything right now?: Four Days In November by Vincent Bugliosi (its about the kennedy assassination and its RLLY good i bought it when i visited dallas by myself last summer)

S - song you last sang: Sedona by Houndmouth hehe

T - time you woke up: 8:30 am bc college has literally made it so my body is up at 8:30 every day no matter how late i went to bed

U - underwear color: purple hehe they’re not cute i’m about to start my period so i’m preparing for the worst 

V - vacation destination: if we’re talkin where am i going on vacation next, no effing clue. i’m pretty much working all summer but I’m going to see The Struts in July and Queen + Adam in august so thats kinda a vacay??? but if its my ideal vaca destination then Southern Germany for sure

W - when was the last time you really laughed: this morning bc i took a video of me sneezing and then started crying bc it was so funny i wish yall could see it im fucking hilarious

X - x-rays: im genuinely lucky that i’ve never had to have xrays besides my FUCKED UP TEETH but i had braces way back in elementary so its been a big ol minute 

Y - your favorite food: honestly? creamy teriyaki cajun sauce on a penne pasta and if i feel like eating meat (a usually rare occasion) a lil chicken in there. slaps so fucking hard yall (meat makes my shtummy hurt)

Z - zodiac sign: Cancer (dont roast me i match with brian may we are one)

also i tag any of yall that wanna do it ugh the original rules are to tag 10 ppl and i dont even know 10 ppl on here im intimidated by everyone