#not the full blown bogan one | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

letterbead93-blog · 5 years ago

Text

BREAKING NEWS: Harley “Durianrider” Johnstone in Disgraceful Road Rage Incident

Serial sleazeball and full-time asshole Harley "Durianrider" Johnstone has just made the news here in Australia, and for all the wrong reasons.

After a motorist came a bit too close for the vegan troll's liking on what appears to be Norton Summit Road in the Adelaide Hills on Sunday, Johnstone completely lost whatever tiny shred of sanity he had left and went into a bogan meltdown. The cracker is that Johnstone, money-grubbing attention-whore that he is, thought it would be a great idea to post footage of his outburst on YouTube. He evidently wasn't planning on Channel Seven also sharing the footage on their top-rating current affairs show Today Tonight. Unlike Johnstone's dipshitted YouTube followers, Today Tonight's demographic aren't so forgiving of obnoxious vegan assholes. After watching the footage of Johnstone screaming "kill me, fucking kill me!" at the motorist, Today Tonight's Facebook page lit up with dozens of folks eagerly volunteering to do just that.

Here he is ladies and gentlemen, the world's most loathsome vegan, in all his feral glory:

For the record, I absolutely despise car drivers who drive dangerously close to cyclists, especially when the neighbouring lane is completely empty. But I'm nowhere near convinced this driver's actions warrant the histrionic carry on displayed by Johnstone. I've had assholes come a lot closer to me whilst riding than this guy did to Johnstone. Furthermore, the BMW driver appeared to have crossed the double white lines while passing (you're allowed to do this if passing a cyclist) - hardly the kind of accommodating behaviour you'd expect from a member of the pigheaded "Cyclists Should Get Off the Road!" crowd.

It's also important to note there was a cyclist approaching from the other direction, which meant the BMW driver had to be careful about pulling out too far to the right.

And last but not least, the driver seemed pretty calm and rational about the whole thing, and wasn't yelling the usual "You @#%s shouldn't be on the @#$%&# road!" stupidity that so many of our other feeble-minded motorists mindlessly recite. If this guy was out to "kill" cyclists, he wasn't very enthusiastic about his mission.

Methinks the Doucherider, grandmaster of overeaction and tantrum-throwing that he is, chose the wrong motorist to try and make an example of. And while he no doubt figured posting the exchange online would garner a boatload more hits for his monetised YouTube channel, the whole charade seems to have blown up in his ugly face.

If Johnstone and his British-accented buddy really believed their lives had just been jeopardized, and that the driver was trying to "kill" them, why didn't they just ride straight to the nearest police station and show the cops the footage? As history clearly shows, the Doucherider has no qualms about running like a little sook to SAPOL and accusing people of causing him harm, so why the reluctance in this case? Oh wait, in this case he actually had footage of the incident, and it pretty much showed his claims to be nonsense. So instead of going to the cops, Johnstone and his clueless mates posted the footage on YouTube, thinking his loyal followers would automatically side with him. Like I said, he clearly wasn't planning on the mainstream media picking up on the story.

There are several important lessons to be learned from this video.

Lesson #1: Shit Diets Can Cause Shit People

Vegan diets are not good for one's mental health. Studies have repeatedly found vegetarians suffer a higher incidence of B12 deficiency than omnivores, with vegans showing the highest incidence of all (thanks to their complete avoidance of animal foods)[1].

Why is this pertinent to the current conversation?

Because vitamin B12 is absolutely crucial to mental health.

The Oxford Vegetarian Study found death from mental and neurological diseases was a whopping (and statistically significant) 2.46 times higher among vegetarians[2]. While I normally couldn't care less about the farcical science of nutritional epidemiology, an RR of 2.46 is far more robust than the usual anemic and confounder-prone RRs cited for suppoosedly evil (but perfectly healthy) foods like red meat. Furthermore, this statistical association between meatless diets and neurological/mental dysfunction has a very plausible explanation, given that B12 is crucial for healthy cognitive and neural function.

And the OVS was hardly the only study to indicate negative psychiatric consequences from meatless diets. Studies in Germany, Austria and Australia show a higher rate of mental health problems among vegetarians[3-5]. Here in 'Straya (that's bogan for Australia, mate!), a study of over 9,000 women found vegetarians and 'semi-vegetarians' were far more likely to have been diagnosed with iron deficiency, anaemia, depression and anxiety disorder. Vegetarians and semi-vegetarians also reported more menstrual symptoms (irregularity, premenstrual tension and severe period pain) than non-vegetarian women, had a higher incidence of constipation and other bowel problems, were more likely to be depressed, have difficulty sleeping, and to experience panic attacks or palpitations. Most alarmingly, they were far more likely to have engaged in deliberate self-harm than non-vegetarians[6].

Yeah, go vegan. If you want to be a miserable, constipated sod.

Lesson #2: Get off the Drugs, Australia.

The second key issue this video raises is the potential mental impairment caused by illicit drug use. Johnstone has admitted to taking steroids and methamphetamines. He claims he no longer uses them, but given his long and well-documented history of blatant lying, and the behaviour he displays in the above video, I'm simply not prepared to take his word for it. Standing in the middle of a public roadway, incoherently yelling, screaming and begging for a stranger to kill you, is textbook classic meth-head behaviour.

I personally have little issue with healthy, grown adults taking judicious doses of well-studied anabolics like testosterone enanthate in short cycles (this does not mean I use them myself, and anyone who claims otherwise is more than welcome to put their money where their libelous mouth is and pay for me - and themselves - to get tested). Having said that, I have a pretty poor regard for the risky polypharmacy so prevalent these days, where people of highly questionable intellect self-administer large doses of multiple anabolics, along with a host of associated pharmaceuticals in an often questionable mission to minimize the side effects of the former. Given Johnstone's extremist tendencies and the video footage of him bragging about the large amount of steroids stashed at his bogan batcave, I'm guessing his steroidal endeavours involve a lot more than just short, judicious cycles of enanthate.

As for non-anabolic drugs, I cannot even begin to condone using toxic garbage like cocaine and methamphetamines, both of which Johnstone has also admitted to using. As someone who has never even smoked a cigarette, I just don't get illicit recreational drugs, I really don't. Despite their well-documented decades' long history of screwing people's lives up, millions of people around the world continue to experiment with them, and then act surprised when their lives fall apart and their health turns to shit.

"Hmmm, this junk ruins livers, kidneys and brains, causes people to act psychotic, makes them look like crap, destroys lives and families, and often kills people ... Yep, I think I'll start taking it!"

Fucking brilliant.

And nowhere is this bizarre process of deduction more prevalent than in Australia. The United Nation’s World Drug Report 2014 found Australia had the highest proportion of recreational drug users in the world. Given that, at last count, there were some 188 sovereign countries in the world, that's an absolute disgrace.

The shameful statistics confirmed Australians as the world's most prolific users of ecstasy, third for methamphetamine, and seventh for cannabis. Australia ranked second only to the US for addiction to opioids such as codeine and morphine, the use of which was disproportionately high among Australian women[7].

And the real cracker is that, despite living on an island with a very large pool of water separating us from South America, Australians are the world's fourth biggest users of cocaine. Maybe border security should worry less about about Johnny Depp's dogs and Bodybuilding.com packages, and more about containers full of "furniture" from Colombia. Or even better, maybe Australians should just stop snorting toxic shit up their nose.

You know, just a thought.

Lesson #3: Lift Your Driving Game, Australia

The third thing I'd like to address is the truly appalling behaviour of a sadly large proportion of Australian motorists.

To listen to a lot of Australian car drivers, you'd think cyclists are the biggest menace that ever blighted Australian roads.

[SCENARIO: TWO COPS AT THE SCENE OF A DEVASTATING ROAD ACCIDENT]:

COP 1: "So what happened here, Junior Constable Peachfuzz?"

COP 2: "Well, Senior Sargeant Beergut, according to witnesses, this guy on a lightweight racing bicycle ran a red light and hit a semi-trailer. The force of being hit by a 60kg lycra-clad bloke on a 7kg carbon-fiber bicycle caused the 50-tonne truck to fly into the air, overturn, and land upside down on a school bus. This caused both the truck and the bus to explode, causing all buildings within a 75-metre radius to catch fire and burn to the ground. So far we've counted 144 bodies, but we expect there to be more. Also, one of the cyclist's water bottles dislodged and hit a koala."

COP 1: "Fucking cyclists! If they were forced to pay rego fees like us angelic car drivers, none of this would've ever happened!"

Yep, there's a reason why no-one ever accused this country of being an epicentre of intellectual brilliance. It seems the same mentality that could do no better than the terribly lame "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Oi, Oi, Oi!" as our international sporting chant also shaped much of the motoring public's view of cyclists.

The reality is that while hundreds of cyclists have been killed by motor vehicles in Australia, the number of car drivers killed after their vehicles were hit by bicycles amounts to a big fat ...

ZERO.

The indisputable fact is that the most common cause of accidents, injury and death to Australian motorists is THEMSELVES and OTHER MOTORISTS.

I repeat: The biggest danger to Australian motorists is THEMSELVES and OTHER MOTORISTS.

To all you Australian drivers: Every time someone leaves their car at home and rides their bike instead, be it for work, shopping or leisure purposes, that is one less missile on the road with the potential to kill YOU, YOUR FAMILY, and YOUR FRIENDS.

Think about it.

Research by the Adelaide and Monash Universities (the latter involving actual camera footage rather than the speculative hogwash that the MUARC unit is so adept at) shows that around 75% of accidents and near-misses between cyclists and drivers are the fault of drivers. Analysis of accidents involving cyclists and motor vehicles in the mainland US and Hawaii have shown similar results, while a study in London found two-thirds of motorists were to blame.

Why?

It's not rocket science, folks. Cyclists are far less likely to act in a manner that could initiate accidents with cars because they have far more to lose. A car driver has the luxury of being encased in a 1,500kg shell comprised of metal, rubber and plastic. A cyclist has no such luxury, and when 70-90kg or so of rider + bike collides with a 1,500 kg+ missile commandeered by some dipshit busy sending SMS messages, it's not hard to work out who will come off second best.

While Johnstone is a complete loser and seems to have a death wish, most of the Australian cycling public does not. It's high time Australian drivers learned a modicum of respect and patience. Not just for cyclists, but for other motorists as well. I've always thought poorly of the standard of driving here in Australia, but after riding in Spain, I find the Australian attitude towards other road users and especially cyclists to be nothing if not appalling. While our clueless, revenue-raising cops hide at the bottom of steep hills, engaged in the patently sleazy activity of booking motorists exceeding our arbitrary and non-evidence-based speed limits by a few KMHs, no-one seems to be doing jack to address the feral, territorial and highly aggressive attitude that is so commonplace among Australian drivers.

Little surprise that while Australian speeding fine revenue continues to reach new highs, the road toll in most Australian states is increasing.

I challenge anyone who is not institutionalized in a psychiatric facility to watch videos like the following, and then repeat with a straight face how it is cyclists who pose the biggest danger on Australian roads:

Folks, give cyclists room. It's not that hard. If Spanish bus drivers were able to safely commandeer massive coaches around me on narrow and incredibly windy roads like the epic ascent out of Sa Calobra (over 20 hairpin turns!), then there's simply no excuse for you not to do the same in a nimble sedan on wider and straighter stretches of road.

And if you can't safely pass a cyclist without allowing a safe gap, then here's a suggestion. It's pretty revolutionary, so you may want to sit down for this:

WAIT UNTIL IT'S SAFE BEFORE YOU PASS.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you!

No really, thank you!

Aw, c'mon, you're too kind!

In all seriousness, the seemingly simple and commonsense idea of slowing down for a few hundredths of a second to allow a cyclist to get past an obstruction like a parked car is just beyond the reality of many Australian motorists. Instead, as if possessed, they'll either hold steady or even stomp on the accelerator and squeeze past you, placing your life in very real danger lest you wobble a few inches off course from the resultant shock.

As for expecting these reckless, impatient grumps to hold back a bit in the hills until it's safe to pass ... fuggetaboutit. Wherever they're going - the pub? home to watch the cricket? - is so important, so fucking urgent, that they'll even dive into blind corners to get past you. This actually happened to me yesterday - some loon raced past me in his approach to a corner, only to be greeted by a car coming the other way. Thankfully said loon swerved back into the left lane lane in time and nothing came of it, but the irony is that the actual corner itself contained an asphalt shoulder that would have allowed me to pull to the side and let the kamikaze in question past without incident.

But nope, a lot of Australian drivers just can't friggin' wait. They just have to get past you, and they have to get past you NOW, damnit!

After a month in Mediterranean Spain, I came to realize something about Australia:

It's a highly strung country.

Australians still like to view themselves as a happy-go-lucky bunch, but a few days on Melbourne roads will quickly dismiss that stereotype. Far from being a carefree people, we live in a stressful, consumerist culture where everyone seems to be trapped on the debt treadmill. Everything is expensive, including our utilities and real estate, which currently rank among the most costly in the world. We live in an over-governed nanny-state, ruled by a bunch of pork-barrelling sleazeballs with the temerity to tell us the "age of entitlement is over", while they continue to do everything from using helicopters for short trips that could have easily been completed by car, to enjoying lifelong salaries after they leave office - all at the public's expense.

Last year I read about a recent survey that ranked Australia the eighth happiest nation in the world (the Danes, apparently, were the cheeriest of all). As soon as I read that, two words entered my mind:

"Fuck off."

Followed by:

"Seriously, just fuck off."

We've got the highest rate of drug use in the world, we have twice the suicide rate of countries like Italy and Spain, we had to introduce special laws to deal with a plague of random king hit attacks, and our capital cities are now home to the kind of psychotic driving and road rage that years ago most Australians would've only ever seen in a Hollywood action movie. But we're in the top ten cheeriest nations?

Yeah, no worries.

Either that survey was put together by the same jokers responsible for the polls predicting "NO" to a Brexit and a runaway Hillary Clinton win, or most of the Australian respondents were stoned when they filled in the questionnaire.

Lesson #4: If You Can Afford it, Educate Your Kids Overseas

One of the common arguments cited by the anti-cycling brainiacs is that "cyclists do not belong on the road".

Remember my comment about no-one ever accusing this country of being a hotbed of intellectual brilliance? That's due to a couple of factors:

1. Australia does not have a learning culture. A regrettably large number of Australians would rather watch cricket or get drunk than read a book. That's not entirely their fault, for reasons to be discussed in factor #2:

2. The Australian education system sucks. A recent international comparison of education standards shows Australia is getting creamed, not only by Asian countries like Singapore, Japan, Chinese Taipei, Korea and Hong Kong, but even Kazakhstan — the Central Asian country satirised in that horseshit Sacha Baron Cohen film Borat.

Anyone who can retain the natural curiosity and inquisitiveness characteristic of children after surviving 10 or more years of the substandard, stultifying Australian education system is a special individual. Heck, anyone who emerges with decent reading and grammar skills is pretty unique. Employers frequently complain that even university graduates can't spell or structure sentences properly, and a 2008 survey found 47% - almost half - of Australians were functionally illiterate!

"That means they can't read the instructions on a medicine bottle, they can't read a map, they can't read a recipe," laments Jan Richards, manager of Central West Libraries in NSW.

If Australians struggle to read a recipe or the instruction label on their bottle of anti-depressants, don't expect them to read the road rules for their respective state. If they did, they'd learn that the right of cyclists to ride on the roads is enshrined in law. To illustrate this point, let's take a look at the laws in South Australia, where the Doucherider vs BMW Alpina incident occurred.

Australian states either incorporate the Australian Road Rules or feature their own partially modified variant. Here's S14 and S15A from the ARR as reprinted in the SA regulations, which define what a "road user" and a "vehicle" are:

South Australian legislation, and the ARR upon which it rests, clearly state a rider is a road user, and that a bicycle is a vehicle. So too is a horse and cart and a motorized wheelchair. Speaking of horse and cart, another common retort by the anti-cycling geniuses is that roads were made for cars, not bicycles. Actually, they were originally made for horses. As for bicycles, they were invented before motor vehicles. If modern roads are not adequately designed for cyclists, that's hardly the fault of cyclists - it's the fault of road designers and the governments who steal so much of our money in the form of taxes, fees, fines, levies etc, etc, and then give us such a terribly deficient road system in return.

So when Australian motorists claim cyclists do not belong on the road, they are not expressing the law but their own personal ignorance and bigotry. Imagine if they tried applying this logic in other areas:

JUDGE: "Why did you stab the victim when he was minding his own business and posing absolutely no threat to you, Mr Shiftycock?"

DEFENDANT: "Because he was wearing a One Direction t-shirt, Your Honour."

JUDGE: "What?!"

DEFENDANT: "He was wearing a One Direction t-shirt."

JUDGE: "That hardly constitutes grounds for fatally wounding someone, Mr Shiftycock."

DEFENDANT: "Oh yes it does, Your Honour! I don't like One Direction, and therefore people who wear One Direction t-shirts shouldn't be on the footpath!"

Australia, The Clever Country.

Not.

Lesson #5: Some Cyclists are Idiots Too.

Before I kick this section off, I want to point out something that would be bleedingly obvious in a country where half the people weren't semi-literate:

Cyclists are only human.

This means that, just like motorists who make earnest mistakes on the road, cyclists sometimes make earnest mistakes too. Sometimes they misjudge the speed of an oncoming vehicle, sometimes they don't even see that vehicle until it's too late. As with motorists who make honest mistakes, this falls under the categories of human error and incompetence, not malice arising from an evil two-wheeled conspiracy to take over the country's road system.

Let he who has not sinned ...

Now that we've got that out the way, it's time to acknowledge a disappointing reality: More than a few cyclists act like idiots on the road, too.

In Victoria and South Australia, cyclists are legally allowed to ride two abreast. But sadly, the same education system that produces PhDs with crap English skills and dipshit drivers who think a lightweight Colnago is more dangerous than a supercharged Monaro with P-plates, also produces a not insignificant number of cyclists who can't count.

If there's one thing that pisses motorists off, it's driving along, only to be slowed to a crawl by a group of cyclists unnecessarily riding 3 or more abreast. A sin, I know for a fact, that Johnstone and his selfish riding buddies are 100% guilty of.

And let's be honest - while riding two abreast might be legal, there are circumstances where it's just not a good idea. You know, like in the middle of corners on narrow, windy roads. On a recent trip to Adelaide during the Tour Down Under, I decided to go for a ride along scenic Gorge Road to Gumeracha. On the way back, I came into a bend and couldn't believe what I was seeing up ahead: Two female riders riding two abreast, with one in the middle of the lane and the other sitting on the dividing white lines and at one point actually crossing over them into the oncoming lane (note to the PC crowd: Testosterone is not a prerequisite for foolhardy behaviour).

This was in the middle of a corner, for chrissakes! I ended up passing them on the inside, because passing them on the outside would have meant riding in the centre of the oncoming lane! There was simply no excuse for them not to be sitting to the left of the road, and if a car had approached at speed in either direction, things could've gotten real ugly, real quick.

It's people like this who help worsen the already struggling public image of cyclists. While the rest of us do the right thing, stick to the left, use hand signals to indicate our intentions to motorists, and give a friendly wave or thumbs up when motorists do the right thing, you idiots are out there stubbornly undoing all our good work.

Fair's fair, folks. You want respect on the roads? Then you unrepresentative numbskulls should wise up, show some respect yourself, and stop making things worse for the rest of us.

As for Harley Johnstone, why don't you just fuck off back to Thailand, asshole? That Today Tonight story, while alerting thousands of people to what a complete jackass you are, is now threatening to set back cyclist-motorist relations in this country a millennium or so. While Australian cyclists have reacted to that video by almost unanimously rejecting you as an unrepresentative disgrace, and while a lot of the comments on the Today Tonight Facebook page are by people wise to your stupidity and the idiocy of your fanatical vegan ideology, those comments also contain a frighteningly large number of nutters expressing some pretty disturbing anti-cycling sentiment.

Before I sign off, it would be remiss of me not to give credit where credit is due. I want to say a humongous Thank You! to all the decent Australian motorists who are abiding by the new laws, and giving us cyclists a safe berth when they pass. Believe me, your courtesy is deeply appreciated. Please, please keep it up. Please ignore all those moron motorists whose diatribes about cyclists would see them charged with hate speech if they were talking about certain other minority groups. And, please, don't ever even begin to think that a puerile waste of space like Harley Johnstone is representative of Australian cyclists.

Ride and drive safe people, we're all in this together,

ciao,

Anthony.

---

Anthony Colpo is an independent researcher, physical conditioning specialist, and author of the groundbreaking books The Fat Loss Bible, The Great Cholesterol Con and Whole Grains, Empty Promises.

For more information on Anthony's books, click here.

---

The Mandatory “I Ain’t Your Mama, So Think For Yourself and Take Responsibility for Your Own Actions” Disclaimer: All content on this web site is provided for information and education purposes only. Individuals wishing to make changes to their dietary, lifestyle, exercise or medication regimens should do so in conjunction with a competent, knowledgeable and empathetic medical professional. Anyone who chooses to apply the information on this web site does so of their own volition and their own risk. The owner and contributors to this site accept no responsibility or liability whatsoever for any harm, real or imagined, from the use or dissemination of information contained on this site. If these conditions are not agreeable to the reader, he/she is advised to leave this site immediately.

References

Pawlak R, et al. How prevalent is vitamin B(12) deficiency among vegetarians? Nutrition, Feb, 2013; 71 (2): 110-117.

Appleby PN, et al. Mortality in British vegetarians. Public Health Nutrition, 2002; 5 (1): 29–36. Available online: http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/78/3/533S.full

Burkert NT, et al. Nutrition and Health – The Association between Eating Behavior and Various Health Parameters: A Matched Sample Study. PLoS ONE, 2014; 9 (2): e88278. Available online: http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0088278

Michalak J, et al. Vegetarian diet and mental disorders: results from a representative community survey. International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, 2012; 9: 67.

Baines S, et al. How does the health and well-being of young Australian vegetarian women compare with non-vegetarians? Public Health Nutrition, 2007; 10 (5): 436–442.

Ibid.

United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime. World Drug Report 2014. unodc.org. Available online: http://www.unodc.org/documents/wdr2014/World_Drug_Report_2014_web.pdf

Source: http://anthonycolpo.com/breaking-news-harley-durianrider-johnstone-in-disgraceful-road-rage-incident/

0 notes

dramabus2-blog · 5 years ago

Text

BREAKING NEWS: Harley “Durianrider” Johnstone in Disgraceful Road Rage Incident

Serial sleazeball and full-time asshole Harley "Durianrider" Johnstone has just made the news here in Australia, and for all the wrong reasons.

Here he is ladies and gentlemen, the world's most loathsome vegan, in all his feral glory:

It's also important to note there was a cyclist approaching from the other direction, which meant the BMW driver had to be careful about pulling out too far to the right.

There are several important lessons to be learned from this video.

Lesson #1: Shit Diets Can Cause Shit People

Why is this pertinent to the current conversation?

Because vitamin B12 is absolutely crucial to mental health.

Yeah, go vegan. If you want to be a miserable, constipated sod.

Lesson #2: Get off the Drugs, Australia.

Fucking brilliant.

You know, just a thought.

Lesson #3: Lift Your Driving Game, Australia

The third thing I'd like to address is the truly appalling behaviour of a sadly large proportion of Australian motorists.

To listen to a lot of Australian car drivers, you'd think cyclists are the biggest menace that ever blighted Australian roads.

[SCENARIO: TWO COPS AT THE SCENE OF A DEVASTATING ROAD ACCIDENT]:

COP 1: "So what happened here, Junior Constable Peachfuzz?"

COP 1: "Fucking cyclists! If they were forced to pay rego fees like us angelic car drivers, none of this would've ever happened!"

The reality is that while hundreds of cyclists have been killed by motor vehicles in Australia, the number of car drivers killed after their vehicles were hit by bicycles amounts to a big fat ...

ZERO.

The indisputable fact is that the most common cause of accidents, injury and death to Australian motorists is THEMSELVES and OTHER MOTORISTS.

I repeat: The biggest danger to Australian motorists is THEMSELVES and OTHER MOTORISTS.

Think about it.

Why?

Little surprise that while Australian speeding fine revenue continues to reach new highs, the road toll in most Australian states is increasing.

And if you can't safely pass a cyclist without allowing a safe gap, then here's a suggestion. It's pretty revolutionary, so you may want to sit down for this:

WAIT UNTIL IT'S SAFE BEFORE YOU PASS.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you!

No really, thank you!

Aw, c'mon, you're too kind!

But nope, a lot of Australian drivers just can't friggin' wait. They just have to get past you, and they have to get past you NOW, damnit!

After a month in Mediterranean Spain, I came to realize something about Australia:

It's a highly strung country.

"Fuck off."

Followed by:

"Seriously, just fuck off."

Yeah, no worries.

Lesson #4: If You Can Afford it, Educate Your Kids Overseas

One of the common arguments cited by the anti-cycling brainiacs is that "cyclists do not belong on the road".

Remember my comment about no-one ever accusing this country of being a hotbed of intellectual brilliance? That's due to a couple of factors:

"That means they can't read the instructions on a medicine bottle, they can't read a map, they can't read a recipe," laments Jan Richards, manager of Central West Libraries in NSW.

JUDGE: "Why did you stab the victim when he was minding his own business and posing absolutely no threat to you, Mr Shiftycock?"

DEFENDANT: "Because he was wearing a One Direction t-shirt, Your Honour."

JUDGE: "What?!"

DEFENDANT: "He was wearing a One Direction t-shirt."

JUDGE: "That hardly constitutes grounds for fatally wounding someone, Mr Shiftycock."

DEFENDANT: "Oh yes it does, Your Honour! I don't like One Direction, and therefore people who wear One Direction t-shirts shouldn't be on the footpath!"

Australia, The Clever Country.

Not.

Lesson #5: Some Cyclists are Idiots Too.

Before I kick this section off, I want to point out something that would be bleedingly obvious in a country where half the people weren't semi-literate:

Cyclists are only human.

Let he who has not sinned ...

Now that we've got that out the way, it's time to acknowledge a disappointing reality: More than a few cyclists act like idiots on the road, too.

Fair's fair, folks. You want respect on the roads? Then you unrepresentative numbskulls should wise up, show some respect yourself, and stop making things worse for the rest of us.

Ride and drive safe people, we're all in this together,

ciao,

Anthony.

---

Anthony Colpo is an independent researcher, physical conditioning specialist, and author of the groundbreaking books The Fat Loss Bible, The Great Cholesterol Con and Whole Grains, Empty Promises.

For more information on Anthony's books, click here.

---

References

Pawlak R, et al. How prevalent is vitamin B(12) deficiency among vegetarians? Nutrition, Feb, 2013; 71 (2): 110-117.

Appleby PN, et al. Mortality in British vegetarians. Public Health Nutrition, 2002; 5 (1): 29–36. Available online: http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/78/3/533S.full

Michalak J, et al. Vegetarian diet and mental disorders: results from a representative community survey. International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, 2012; 9: 67.

Baines S, et al. How does the health and well-being of young Australian vegetarian women compare with non-vegetarians? Public Health Nutrition, 2007; 10 (5): 436–442.

Ibid.

United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime. World Drug Report 2014. unodc.org. Available online: http://www.unodc.org/documents/wdr2014/World_Drug_Report_2014_web.pdf

Source: http://anthonycolpo.com/breaking-news-harley-durianrider-johnstone-in-disgraceful-road-rage-incident/

0 notes

slicewifi · 6 years ago

Text

Women in IT Awards USA: Finalists Revealed

Finalist Revealed

The finalists for the US edition of the world’s largest tech diversity event are today revealed. The winners will be announced at an awards ceremony in Gotham Hall, New York, on 22 March ‘As tech companies continue to disrupt industries and business models with new innovation, platforms that ensure the workforces behind this innovation are diverse and innovation are absolutely critical’ The world’s largest tech diversity awards event today reveals the finalists for its inaugural USA program, which will gather top leaders from America’s technology sector to further efforts to tackle the industry’s diversity challenges. The Women in IT Awards is the technology world’s most prominent and influential diversity program. Held for the last four years in London, the most recent event on 31 January 2018 was attended by 1,200 business and tech leaders. On 22 March 2018, the event will come to the US for the first time, taking place in one of the world’s most prominent business cities – New York – at the grand Gotham Hall in Manhattan. The Women in IT Awards USA marks the event’s first expansion out of Europe. With just 25% of computing jobs in the US held by women – and much fewer at senior and executive levels – the event seeks to tackle the industry’s gender imbalance by showcasing the achievements of women in technology, identifying new role models and promoting constructive dialogue around diversity among key industry leaders.

Organised by business-technology magazine and website Information Age, the Women in IT Awards has gathered resounding support from trade associations, politicians and companies of all sizes and sectors since launching in 2015. Through a series of 16 awards, the event acts as a flagship and high-profile platform for the industry’s wide-reaching diversity efforts. The awards, which attracted over 400 nominations, are sponsored by premium partner BMC Software, as well as AT&T, Bluewolf, Equinix, FireEye, Frank Recruitment Group, Neustar, Rolls-Royce and Zayo. “We were blown away with the incredible volume and standard of nominations for an event landing in the US for the first time,” says Ben Rossi, editorial director at Information Age publisher Vitesse Media and founder of the Women in IT Awards. “It’s been a privilege to watch the Women in IT Awards grow over the last four years as people from across the technology world have embraced it as the platform for identifying female role models in the industry and shining a light on their innovation and achievements. “As tech companies continue to disrupt industries and business models with new innovation, platforms like the Women in IT Awards that ensure the workforces behind this innovation are diverse and inclusive are absolutely critical. Congratulations to all of the finalists.” Advocate of the Year Kristy Wallace, Ellevate Network Anita Khandekar, Enova Bianca Jackson, JAX Digital DeLisa Alexander, Red Hat Selina Suarez, Salesforce Hala Hanna, Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) Marta Zanchi, Stanford University Elizabeth Hunter, T-Mobile Carita Marrow, UNCF Ronni Eloff, Women in Technology International Business Leader of the Year Kate O’Keeffe, Cisco Lisa Stanton, InAuth Brynne Kennedy, MOVE Guides Candice Corby, Cobra Legal Solutions Nancy Harris, Sage Meredith Whalen, IDC Trish Thomas, TEEM Kristel Lataste, Amadeus North America Paula Hunter, NFC Forum Business Role Model of the Year Rebecca Parsons, ThoughtWorks Heather Wilde, WithMe Margaret Dawson, Red Hat Rebecca Wynn, Matrix Medical Network Teena Piccione, Fidelity Investments Donna Wells, Mindflash Technologies Brenda Peick, Thomson Reuters Liz Tinkham, University of Washington Priyanka Vasudevan, Morgan Stanley Nabila Aydin, FDM Group CIO of the Year Marykay Wells, Pearson Kristy Simonette, Camden Property Trust Sherry Aaholm, Cummins Paula Tolliver, Intel Corporation Kimberly Ingram, Lansing Board of Water & Light Nancy D’Amico, LeasePlan Janice Withers, TD Bank Nicole Raimundo, Town of Cary Michaele James, CSAA Insurance Group Sandi Mays, Zayo Group Data Leader of the Year Sangeeta Krishnan, Asembia Olisa Stephensbailey, Booz Allen Hamilton Valerie Logan, Gartner Kjersten Moody, State Farm Jennifer Nelson, Rocket Software Aimee Webster, S&P Global Sara Garrido, Sizmek Jessica Kirkpatrick, Slack Tendü Yoğurtçu, Syncsort Jacquelin Speck, U.S. Navy Digital Leader of the Year Jessica Wong, Amorepacific Aurora Losada, Houston Public Media Kristina Villarini, Lambda Legal Jo Ann Saitta, Omnicom Health Group Monica Caldas, GE Melissa Stevens, Fifth Third Bank Jaime Chambron, NTT Data Services Daryl Drabinsky, Aetna Teesee Murray, Infor Karen O’Brien, Western Union e-Skills Initiative of the Year Tracey Welson-Rossman, Chariot Solutions / TechGirlz Renee La Londe, iTalent Digital Marlin Williams, Sisters Code Olga Mack, ClearSlide Ruthe Farmer, CSforALL.org Judith Spitz, Women in Technology and Entrepreneurship in New York (WiTNY) Viola Maxwell-Thompson, Information Technology Senior Management Forum Women on their Way, NetScout Elizabeth Lindsey, Byte Back Diane Flynn, ReBoot Accel Editor’s Choice Rina Brahmbhatt, Atos Global Consulting Mylea Charvat, Savonix Lauren Cooney, Spark Labs Rita Torkzadeh, The Pew Charitable Trusts Christina Zuniga, InTouch Health Winnie Cheng, Io-Tahoe Jane Harper, Henry Ford Health System Shelley Westman, EY Liz Rowe, State of New Jersey Marlene Williamson, Watermark Entrepreneur of the Year Zhuo Li, AutoX Neha Sampat, Built.io Contentstack Autumn Manning, YouEarnedIt Jennifer Kyriakakis, MATRIXX Software Angela Hood, ThisWay Global Lora Ivanova, myLab Box Srii Srinivasan, Chargeback Gurus Mary Dee, Digital Altitude Meg Columbia, Walsh Wylei Rachel Bogan, Work & Co Future CIO of the Year Julia Lomax, Tengelmann Group Priya Aswani, Microsoft Jamila Parham, City of Chicago Eryka Johnson, ExxonMobil Amber Williamson, Robert Half Technology Anne Mette Hoyer, SAP Andrea Adams, Spanning Cloud Apps Tracy Vo, Bank of the West Leslie Hielema, GuideWell Praniti Lakhwara, Apttus Innovator of the Year Jin Zhang, CA Technologies Angela Nicoara, Intel Corporation Vicki Reyzelman, Akamai Rachelle Oribio, Techstars Jo-Anne Dressendofer, Slice Wireless Solutions Kristin Lovejoy, BluVector Natalie Gil, rational7 Veena Gundavelli, Emagia Corporation Bhavini Soneji, Heal Sophie Vandebroek, IBM Rising Star of the Year Velvet Johnson, Accenture Etosha Ottey, Chicago Black Women In Tech Jamie Migdal, FetchFind Robyn Gray, Otherworld Interactive Jennifer Perusini, Neurovation Labs Yana Zaidiner, Token Payments Margaret Gratian, US Department of Defense Lana Jovanovic, UBM Annie Eaton, Futurus Sarah Mogin, Work & Co Security Champion of the Year Rhonda Shantz, Centrify Christy Wyatt, Dtex Systems Linda Conrad, Exelon Deneen DeFiore, GE Lila Kee, GlobalSign Monica Jain, LogicHub Julie Cullivan, ForeScout Technologies Sydney Klein, Capital One Financial Deb Briggs, NetScout Terri Cetera, Quest Diagnostics Transformation Leader of the Year Alejandra Roslyakova, Amadeus North America Lisa Litherland, CDW Ozlem Coskun, Chubb Insurance Sandy Hogan, HERE Technologies Kelly Switt, Citi Barbara Morgan, FIS Carol Houle, Cognizant Chiara Bersano, LSI Consulting Erica Volini, Deloitte Kerry Small, Vodafone Group Enterprise Woman of the Year Kesha Williams, Chick-fil-A Ishita Majumdar, eBay Li Lo, SPANX Dianne Dain, United Nations Mayumi Hiramatsu, Infor Laila Beane, Intellect SEEC Anita Sands, Symantec Karen MacKay, Rolls-Royce Sheela Ramamurthy, VirtualHealth Jeanette Maister, WCN Young Leader of the Year Hannah Osborne, DXC Technology Miranda LeBlanc, Liberty Mutual Insurance Karen Parisi, Oodi Caitlin Burniske, Premier Logic Jessica Angelotta, Target Data Arlyn Burgess, University of Virginia Ali Greenwood, JLL Camille Stewart, Deloitte Ayesha Liaqat, UW Health Lisa Godwin, The New York Times See Original Post Here: information-age.com/women-awards Read the full article

#eventwifi #itwifi #womenwifi

0 notes

sarahjbowman · 7 years ago

Photo

Shortly after arriving at our Nomads hostel we headed out to find South Bank, the home of the open air cinema we had booked to attend. In keeping with Halloween, the American Express pop up screen was showing IT, a terrifying but simultaneously hilarious horror. After doing a big loop of the area to find a 7 Eleven to quench our need for grapes (which they ended up not having and we thought best to replace with Snakes sweets, which contain carrot so are basically one of our five a day anyway...) we arrived at the perfect setting. Sat amongst the bushy areas of the bank and overlooking the city line above the treetops, it was a fantastic view topped off with bats flying overhead. Perfectly fitting for Halloween. We'd treated ourselves to the additional chairs, which ended up being funny shaped blown up bags with extra slip and slide. We spotted a few others deflating theirs and thought 'how hard can it be?!' so gave it a go ourselves, but of course, nothing happened... At risk of then letting them down completely we decided against it and attempted to wedge ourselves in to watch the film. Once the screening finished we roamed the city trying to find a spot for dinner, but everything was shut. Places seem to open late and shut early here, so we resorted to another 7 Eleven. Bon appetite! After a restless night in our Nomads hostel (terrible, never go!) we woke early to find a nice cafe spot for breakfast before meeting Nick. Pleasantly surprised, we found a great little place just down the road. Amazing coffee, maple syrup infused bacon and homemade sourdough. Yum! Nick came to collect us just after and we went to explore Kangaroo Point, Mount Neebo and his local, Oxford Street. Kangaroo Point and Mount Neebo offered some great views across the city and down some beautiful hidden valleys. We drove along Mount Neebo to different lookout points and saw some more spectacular birdies along the way. Along with the Black Boy bush, great name. The days are going quicker and quicker and we were soon back at Nick's place to meet his roommate, Clint. Nick kindly made us dinner, so Becca and I took the rare opportunity to kick back and relax while listening to some hilarious stories of their school days. Their strict school teachers were certainly very different to good old RMS. Lots to compare and laugh about. Before bed we were introduced to the film, The Castle. A charming little Aussie production. Of course, I fell asleep, but I heard after it was very funny. Thursday morning we packed up again to head to Stradbroke Island (or as the Aussies say, Straddie Is, because the full name is just too long to pronounce...) After stopping at the local police station to collect Nicks short lost wallet, and to his parents mansion house to collect the rods and bodyboards, we were on our way to the barge. A lovely 45 min trip to the island with views over Horseshoe Bay and Moreton Island. We met the owner of our Airbnb, which turned out to be a room with minimal shared facilities, rather than a full apartment as we thought. Sneaky David with his false advertising and stone statue that may well be of himself... Friendly enough, but definitely a character. Once checked in, we drove to the South Creek Walk. Nick doesn't really do walking, in fact, I don't think any Aussies are keen. So the drive took about 2 minutes and we were there. The walk was spectacular and I'm happy to say that's not even an exaggeration. What a beauty! The cliff walk wrapped around the island with beautiful views of the crystal clear turquoise waters to the right. En route there was a rocky lookout area, luckily deserted of people, so we headed down to enjoy the view. But boy did we enjoy so much more than that! Out of the corner of my eye I could see a big splash in the distance. Making sure it wasn't the water against some rocks, I watched it a couple more times before I realised it was definitely a whales tale! Pointing it out to Becca and Nick we jumped around in excitement, doing the happy dance! After five weeks of hoping, it turns out we only needed to go to Straddie! Shortly after, we spotted a group of dolphins jumping through the rolling waves crashing beside us. We couldn't believe it! Double whammy! Our eyes darted around the water, sharing time between the two groups of incredible sea life, Nick just laughing at our excitement! As the waves crashed and the sun shone down, the reflection made beautiful mini rainbows just next to us. One of the most mesmerising scenes I think we've experienced on this trip so far. After the animals dispersed we dragged ourselves away to the next lookout point for a picnic lunch. Chatting and sharing the view before we ventured down to Cylinders Beach for a swim. Nick chased around beach crabs while Becca and I attempted to bronze our pasty white selves. I'm not sure we're achieving anything... For the evening we drove down to Amity Point to watch the sunset. David promised us more dolphins but there weren't any in site. It seems when they're 'guaranteed' they like to avoid us, but the unexpected encounter earlier had topped our day off nicely already. The sunset was another corker! Sipping our bevies and amusing ourselves listening to the local bogans. After dropping the car back off at Allure Resort, we persuaded Nick to endure the pain of walking 5 mins up the road to the pub for dinner. A couple of Curlues were having a barnie on the decking, while we had some dinner and chatted into the evening. Tuesday morning started with our classic soaked oats speciality and readied us for a day of lakes and swimming. We started with Brown Lake. Which turns out to have a bit of an ironic name. Becca and I were preparing ourselves for a murky watering hole, but when we arrived we were more than pleasantly surprised. The lake had a clear sandy beach entrance and the water only started to appear brown once we'd paddled in with our bodyboards. A couple of women nearby overheard us questioning why it goes brown and they explained that the Tea Tree leaves fall into the water and change the colour. Luckily we weren't wearing white bikinis as it would apparently dye them. The water was warm and we enjoyed a paddle around on the boards while Nick prepared the fishing rods for the evening. (Hopeful to catch our supper). Shortly after our swim we were greeted by a big ole Goanna climbing down the tree in front of us, then back up the next and down again. Doesn't know if he's coming or going. While Becca sat by the water reading her book, Nick attempted to teach me how to tell the time using the sun as a guide. I'm pretty sure I've got midday down. Eventually we left Brown Lake and drove to Blue Lake for another explore. The road doesn't meet the water so we hopped out and started the 2km walk down to the basin. Chatting, sweating, chatting and sweating some more (Becca and I are confused how most people we've seen in Aus still look glowing in the heat, when we just turn to tomatoes...) we soon arrived at a perfect spot by the water, and just in time to see a Long Neck Turtle. As the two groups that were there before us departed, we had the whole place to ourselves. The women Becca and I were talking to in Brown Lake warned us of the resident leeches, so I stayed clear of the water (and got attacked by flies instead) but Becca and Nick floated in for a refresher. Afterward we sat and watched the water and listened to the surrounding birds. The Kookaburra gangs sang to each other from opposite trees across the lake. Well, I say sang, the Kookaburra sounds more like a laughing monkey. Once we'd finished we reluctantly made the walk back to the car. Nick then thought this would be the perfect time to tell us all about the super poisonous snakes and spiders they have to endure in Aus which certainly quickened our pace. Once back at the Airbnb Nick went down to the beach for a swim, while Becca and I ventured to the shark free pool for a quick dip. For the evening we grabbed the rods and went to Cylinder Beach for a spot of sea fishing. Within five minutes Nick had caught a little Whiting but after that all we had were false leads. The little buggers were too quick and clever for the likes of us. Although we didn't catch anything else we still enjoyed the attempt along with the incredible sunset. The sky glowed and highlighted the full moon, when all of a sudden an eagle flew overhead and looped the area as he kept an eye on the fish in the water. Just within the Allure Resort was a lovely little French owned cafe restaurant, so we resided there for the evening to stock up on some fishy dishes and play UNO! 3-1-1 to Becca. Saturday morning was upon us, happy birthday to me! Being in front of the UK by 11 hours felt its strangest today, as I was celebrating my birthday before my parents would think it was my birthday. I'm just so ahead of my time aye. Becca, Nick and I went back to the little cafe from the night before and enjoyed a bargain $10 breakfast sarnie and coffee. They'd bought me a card and Becca had treated me to a lovely bow toe ring. Very sneaky purchase in Townsville. Thank you! We said goodbye to our host, the smiling assassin, and drove down to Adder Rock to take a little wander up to the view point. Low and behold, more dolphins, they just can't keep away! What a birthday morning treat! Shortly after, we went back to Amity Point to cast our rods over the jetty. The area is a hotspot for shark attacks so we were surprised to see a group of French tourists jumping off the jetty and swimming back and forth to shore. More annoyingly, they were scaring away our fish, so we moved along to the rocky lookout point that ventured out into the water. Becca and I definitely grasped this type of fishing a lot better than the seashore fish from the night before. Minimal effort just dropping the line in the water over the edge. Nailed it. No fish though. As Nick and I were fishing Becca noticed some commotion at the jetty. The boys that had been jumping in were signalling at a nearby boat travelling with two small children attached to the back on a blow up pad. They quickly reeled them in and turned around. We couldn't really see properly from where we were, but quite possibly could have been a sharky. It's been one of the biggest struggles of the trip, the waters look so inviting and the heat just makes you want to jump in, but with all these little critters around, it's quite frustrating not being able to enjoy it properly. We sadly had to make a quick getaway to get our barge back to the mainland at midday. But not without a fight. It's always when you actually need to be somewhere that the traffic comes out. First there was Father Christmas who couldn't get his boat in the drive, then there was the attack of the Kookaburra, shortly followed by convoy with the slowest driver in the world. With 2mins to spare we arrived just in time and good ole Tracy checked us in with a warm welcome. The rush didn't stop there. Now we had to beat the clock to make it back to the city for our bus to the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary. Nick had already been, so he dropped us off at the station to make our way there. The whole trip I'd been looking forward to this birthday treat, we were going to make it! And we did, just in time. They were so cute! We queued for a little while before meeting our new furry little friends. Ah ma gawd, so fluffy! The Sanctuary was full of interesting animals, including Becca's new favourite, the Princess Parrot. We also saw a Platypus, who turn out not to be as innocent as they seem. The males have poisonous ducts in their back paws which can cause excruciating pain to humans. Avoid those fellas! Short on time, we Ubered our way back to Nicks for some delicious and nutritious tinned stew... Clint and another one of their friends, Ben, were also there and we sat around the lounge chatting for most of the evening as they educated Becca and I about some 'need to know' Australian musicians. Amongst a hilarious video of an Aussie kangaroo whisperer squaring up with a male roo. A few drinks later we made our way to the city. Our Uber driver was such a gem, all the way from South Africa and certainly bringing the entertainment factor to the table. We'd hoped to go to a free comedy night but when we arrived at the bar it was already closing, so we ended up at a nearby jazz bar. I'm not sure what Australians think jazz is, but it definitely wasn't what we heard. Great all the same though, the lead singer had so much sass and the oldies on the dance floor we're loving it, busting out the sweet dad moves. We continued late into the night, hoping from bar to bar until I got hungry and needed pizza. Oh hey Dominos. The next morning we were up early and raring to go. We had important markets to visit. Nick, being a man that doesn't like to walk more than five minutes down the road, decided to stay at home and let us do our thing. So we said our thank you's and see ya's before departing for our next hostel, Brisbane YHA. The last of our hostels for the trip and definitely worth the wait. Finally a place that understands what it means to be a good hostel. Wallah! We were even upgraded to a 4 bed ensuite. Don't mind if we do. Once we'd dropped our bags we made the walk to the first market, which reminded me of the women we were talking to in Brown Lake. One was saying how Poms (which is apparently what they call us Brits) love to walk everywhere. To them, a five minute walk is an outrageous expectation, but for us, we'll walk miles to get to where we need to go. Which is definitely accurate in mine and Becca's case. We walked 19km yesterday around the city, which was definitely worth it as we uncovered lots of great gems along the way. From Milton Market, to South Bank Young Designers, through the Botanic Gardens and along the embankment past Story Bridge, to Bakery Lane, Winn Lane and James Street. Our feet were begging us to stop but we powered through and made the walk back through the high rise city to our hostel. The kitchen is situated at the top of the building with a long balcony view over the city. At night the place is lit with vibrant lights that transform the grey buildings to more memorable patterns of colour. Tired from the night before we headed to bed to rejuvenate for my final day in Aus. So here we are, currently sat on a train to Tallebudgera Creek for a spot of paddle-boarding along the water before dinner out in the city this evening. Then I'll be heading off to the airport to start the long 23 hour journey back home. I can't quite believe how quickly the trip has gone! The start feels like a life time ago already and we've fitted in so many great things. I'm looking forward to the rest of today (once we've had our coffee) and then I'll be home sweet home tomorrow! And another day younger ; )

0 notes