#not that you care bcuz im an internet stranger

[organised-disaster]

Me: Hey, let's post this thing involving my O.Cs!

My brain: No, no, it's far too cringe

My brain: can't have any of our

✨️twenty-one followers, at least three of which are probably bots✨️

thinking that we are cringe

My brain: What a disaster that would be

[sabraeal]

#51 sounds really cute! :D

#51: things you said as we danced in our socks

Set a few weeks before graduation

Wide Florida Bay | Previous

Horns rattle from the tinny speaker, and thebriefest bass guitar, before abruptly cutting off. Shirayuki frowns as shescoops up her phone, flicking the screen on – that clip is so unsatisfying, she reallyneeds to fix it –

r u done?im doneim dooooooonnnnne

She glances up from the mixer whirring away, catching the bookbagslumped against the wall of the vestibule, abandoned the moment she walkedthrough the door.

I just got backObi still has one more though

ugh ofctell him hes an overachiever and he should b ashamed

(He’s been sitting like that for almost fifteen minute,pointer hovering over Add Class, hisdesignated selection time bleeding out, only fifteen more before the juniorsgets to start picking their classes too –

“I shouldn’t bother,” he says, toneless. “You have to applyfor it.”

She tucks into his side, laying her head on his shoulder. “Sodoes everyone else. You have just as good a chance as anyone.”

“You’re not doing it.”

She blinks, tilting her head up. “I’m not the one interestedin informatics.”

“It’ll be over my credit load,” he tries instead. “I’d need permissionfrom the dean –”

She tweaks his elbow, just hard enough to make him squirm. “Good thinghe’ll be your graduate advisor.”

It takes a bit for him to blush – or at least for her to see it – but there’s pink just under bronze on his ears, and that’s enough. “That’s not – that’sonly if Admissions all goes temporarily batshit and lets me in.”

His chest shakes, breath coming quick, and she slides her hand down,covering his. “You should do it,” she says, studiedly casual. “What’s the worstthat can happen? They say no?”

His breath steadies, but not easily. “Right. Yeah.”

The click is less than a second. “Fuck ‘em, right?”)

i don’t think i’ll tell him that

FINELAMEsuzus been done since yesterday bcuz hes a slackerwhen obi is done we should celebratelike unreal amts of booze celebrate

It’s – it’s not that her heart pounds, it’s just – quiet,now that the mixer is off. Everything is more – noticeable. Now that she – she’s –

She’s thinking about the last time they got drunk at Yuzuri’sbehest, looming over them as she poured more and more shots, tellingthem it’s a celebration, everyone has todrink –

– I don’t think you’dbe so hard to figure out, darlin’. Obi’s drawl is liquid in her memory,pouring over her like honey. Just have toknow where to touch –

uh sureI guess?

u guess?is there some sort of problem?

She thinks of Obi, chest heaving,slack-jawed, eyes wide – if I capsize inyour thighs, high tide – of what he’dlook like with swollen lips, panting down her body, spreading her legs –

Ugh. She shakes her head. Thewhole thing is just – just – a pop-up she can’t shake, an ad that keepsplaying over her day at odd intervals, only instead of it being for somethinglike experimental allergy medication or Cialis, it’s for Obi, like she suddenly needs to be reminded every few minutes thathe’s attractive and also experienced, like maybe she should consider –

no!everything is fine!

It will pass. It always does.

…whatever the ideas r percolating ill let u know what we decide but like def booze

This isn’t – it isn’t a problem. Everything is fine – very fine, the most fine.

All her papers are written, revised, and already sitting in drop-boxes, her only final is a multiple choice test about European History, most of which she learned just from living with Kiki for a year. If anything, she is set, living her best life –

“God.”

Her whole body flushes, toe-tip to hairline, and she’s so busy trying not to think of skin under her lips, of hearing that in an entirely new context, that she nearly misses the slam of the door.

Obi tilts a long-suffering look toward her as he leans against the wall, toeing his shoes into the tray. “I’m glad that’s fucking done.”

There isn’t a problem, because whatever this is, it’s just a phase. Something that will definitely pass.

It just never takes this long.

“Did your test go well?” she asks, clearing her throat, like it might expel the images her mind is supplying as he saunters around the corner, shirt already pulling up taut torso, sun-bronzed abs on display.

“Hope so,” he sighs, balling his T-shirt up in his hand. “Otherwise Lata’s going to give me a few more of these for putting off our action plan.”

It takes her a whole minute to realize what he’s pointing at, to see the thick silver sprawl of scars across his back and not the way his muscles ripple beneath the skin, the way his shoulder blades make his whole back look like an anatomy model.

She frowns. “Professor Forenzo would never –”

“I know, I know,” he says, waving a hand at her as he crosses into his room. “Gimme a minute, I gotta get out of these clothes. It’s killer out there.”

“Right,” she replies, faint, definitely not noticing the way his hands settle on his waistband, definitely not thinking about his skin shining with sweat –

She doesn’t have a problem, it’s just – just that she hasn’t figured out a way to get him back, to close out this prank so she can – can stop thinking about that stupid song, and capsizing on thighs and what it might feel like if he –

plans decidedwe gonna go C L U B B I N G

Shirayuki’s teeth grit down, her hands bracing against the counter. This is fine. They’ve gone before, a nice little place above a bar in downtown Wilant; it’d been all 80s songs and they’d all had a little more than they’d bargain for, and Obi –

– you’re a squeezing hips, neck-kissing girl, aren’t you, darlin’? –

Ah, maybe she…shouldn’t think about that. He didn’t even remember it in the morning.

“You all right, Doc?”

She jolts, watching Obi settle on the couch, bare feet kicked up on the coffee table, arms sprawled out over the back, remote in hand. Her hands tighten on the counter, trying to ground herself, trying not to have her knees go weak as she traces the delicate bones in his feet, the strain of his t-shirt over his biceps –

if obi gives u shit tell him its obligatorythis is the price of fucking friendship okay

“You might not want to get too c-comfortable,” she stammers, stacking cookies, trying to look like she’s doing something in the kitchen, and not just – ogling him. “Yuzuri says we need to go out and celebrate.”

His head turns toward her, just slightly. “Celebrate what?”

“Being done with, you know…school.” It sounds weak, even to her own ears, and the grunt that comes from him tells her he agrees.

“We’re all going to grad school,” he huffs out. “We’re not going to be done with school for the next decade, if Lata has anything to say about it.”

“Well, it’s the end of undergrad,” she presses, feeling flushed. “And the end of our thesis work –”

“And just what is this version of celebrating going to entail?” he asks with a sigh. “I already have my sweat pants on.”

I’ve noticed is not the right thing to say. Neither is dumbly standing there, thinking how good he makes them look. “Yuzuri says we’re going clubbing.”

“Oh, no,” he says, firm. “No. I don’t dance.”

“She wants me to tell you it’s a non-optional social convention.”

“Is that how she’s getting Suzu to go?”

“Probably.” Her shoulders twitch in a shrug. “You know how she feels about this sort of thing.”

His eyebrows lift. “That there’s no better way to celebrated scientific achievement than to get trashed and grind on strangers?”

“Yes.” Not quit how she would have put it. “That.”

His look turns incredulous. “And you went for that?”

“It’s what she wants to do,” Shirayuki insists, because – because it’s not like she cares. It’s not like she’s thinking about the way he was dancing with anyone who showed interest the last time, wondering if he might –“She’s been here longer. Maybe this is the best way to celebrate. When in Rome, you know?”

“That is the exactopposite of an attitude you should have in Florida. Never do what people inFlorida do.” He rolls his head along the back of the couch to give her a flatlook. “It’s like you’ve never seenthe internet.”

She returns itwith a look of equal flatness. “We made it so the Olin maris can be bred in captivity. We’ve saved an entire species.We can spend one night doing what Yuzuri wants to do.”

“Yuzuri wants toget sloppy drunk and see if she can get Suzu to breed in captivity.”

“And we should support that.” She sighs at his incredulous look, padding out to put the plate of cookies in front of him. “Besides, I’ve seen you dance. You seemed – fine.”

That is definitely a word. That she can use. Safely.

“We danced at a gala,” he protests, “I wore a suit. Youstepped on my feet. That is not this. This is – swampy club dancing. It’s acircle of hell, not an activity.”

She refrains from mentioning the other time; she doesn’t think he’d appreciate remembering just how good he dances drunk to Come On Eileen, no matter how impressive it was.

“I think you just need to get excited.” She’s too used to his stare to shrivel under it. “You know, uh – get pumped.”

“Are you evenplanning on drinking?”

She grimaces.“No.”

“That is such awaste, you can’t even drive.”

She frowns. “Ihave my license now.”

He gives her apointed look. “You can’t even drive.”

She stares at himfor what must be a full minute before it hits her, grin breaking out across her face. “I have just thething to get you in the mood.”

“Aw, c’mon,” hemoans as she pulls him upright. “I’ve got so many Cutthroat Kitchens to watch. On this one, theycook spaghetti and meatballs and someone takes some lady’s garlic.”

“Look, you alreadyknow what happens!” She grins at him. “So now you can do my thing instead.”

He grimaces when she pulls out her phone, when he sees her bring up her music library, pleading, “No, don’t –”

“Why do you build me up –”

“I’m honestly concerned,” he mumbles over the tinny piano. “Do you know what kind of music they play in clubs?”

“–Buttercup, baby–”

“This is to pump you up!” she tells him, trying to guide him into a bobbing two-step, one he follows with the enthusiasm of a man walking to the gallows. “Get your blood flowing!”

“Oh my god,” he sighs. “Of course. This is your pump up music. Motown.”

“It’s uplifting.”

“You listen to Angel of the Morning when you get up, don’t you?”

Her mouth pulls thin. “That’s not Motown –”

“That’s not a no.”

“See,” she tries instead, “you’re getting more lively already!”

There’s a flash of teeth behind his lips, but he hides it in his shoulder. “Whatever, the song is ending. How about you put on an actual club song?”

Her finger hovers over her screen.

“This decade.”

“Fine,” she sighs, scrolling past her collection of 80s music. “I can do that.”

“Uh-huh, I’m–”

“Shawty had those Apple Bottom Jeans, boots with the fur –”

He stares. “All right, I’m concerned you don’t know what year it is.”

“They still play this!” she insists, starting to bop to the beat. “It’s on plenty of club mixes.”

“All right,” he sighs, taking her hands. “This is physically painful, Doc. No one dances like that at a club.”

“Plenty of people do,” she insists, leaving out that most of her club experience is seeing them on CSI reruns. She’s got a feeling he already knows.

“Come here,” he guides her closer, until their hips are almost touching. “Let me just – show you. End the embarrassment.”

“I’m not –” Embarrassing gets swallowed along with her tongue, because his hand hooks over her hips, her own right beneath, guiding her into a slower swing that barely involves feet moving at all. He’s not – not touching her anywhere else, but he’s so close he might as well be, and she’s just – aware. Of all of him.

He smells nice.

“Oh is this – grinding?” she squeaks. “I’ve heard about that before –”

“No.” His voice is entirely too deep. “This would be grinding.”

His hands tug on her, yanking her forward until his knee is between her legs, until every shift on her body brings her right down on his thigh and –

Oh, that is – that’s not –

Okay, maybe this is a problem.

“Oh,” she breathes, jolting away, right back into the wall. That should be it, end of moment, but she – she doesn’t let go of his hands, and then he’s crashing into her, just catching himself on the wall, her hands still twined in his –

“Sorry.” He swallows; she’s so close she can hear it. She can see it too, and the way his eyes are all dark, mostly pupil with a thin rim of gold. His leg is still between hers, and her hands press up by her shoulder, and he’s just – so, so tall –

If he’d just bend down a little, maybe she could –

“Eep!” she yelps, pocket buzzing. “That’s just – I think Yuzuri –”

“Oh,” he breathes, pulling back. “Right. Her clubbing thing.”

r u guys gonna be ready soon?i wanna b drinking already

Obi’s already wandered away, back to the couch, and she –

i think our night is already spoken forobi wants to stay inbut let’s do breakfast tomorrow

boobut i get to pick the place

[dxmedstudent]

it’s 1 of the best things bcuz: 1) i started following last year before i started pre-med, and all along i thought you were a man so i was like “oh alright nice stuff nice stuff in this blog” but THEN it clicked that u weren’t & i got so much more interested in the blog itself. 2) you’re a woman!! In med!! & you’re thriving & honest & like amazing & really multifarious (what ive gathered from what you post ). 3) im like so gay dude. Sry if that last one made u uncomfortable

Thanks for writing back! You didn’t have to, I just like feedback. When you blog it can feel like your thoughts disappear into the abyss, no matter how many followers the number shows. When people write in, it feels real.

1) “Oh alright nice stuff nice stuff in this blog”- I love this. Best review so far XDI can see how that happened. I blog about lots of things, and girly things sometimes, but I guess that can get lost amongs all the other posts. When you write on the internet, it feels like once you’ve mentioned something once, it’s kind of ‘out there in the open’, however, obviously people don’t necessarily read or remember every thing you’ve ever written. I try to remember that, when it feels like I’m sharing way too much online. At any time my inner voice oscillates between “this’d be anawesome thing to share! It might cheer someone up or be relateable or make them laugh” and “whoah I’m sharing a lot. People are going to think this is TMI and nobody wants to know my life story”. I’m a private person, really, despite somehow falling into blogging (like, how did that happen?!? totally not what this introvert was expecting, and also low key nerve racking, always), so it took me a long time to feel comfortable enough to write anything remotely personal. My blog started out giving university applications tips, and just collecting random tumblr things and replying to asks about my comic. I never actually expected to make so many friends, or that anyone would care what I wrote! So it’s really surreal. But I like being able to share things I’ve learned. I love the friendships I’ve made. I’m a big sister in real life, and when I see the younger generation of studyblrs it makes me feel really protective. I’d like those who look up to our generation to see what it’s like, but also to see we’re normal people with normal life problems who just kind of work through things and try to do better. I really would have loved to have this kind of community when I was getting into medicine. 2) I am! And I’m really touched by how you feel. To be honest, it’s hard to see yourself how others see you. I feel like a normal person living a normal life; my normal life just features people getting sick or dying, and working strange hours. In medicine, it’s easy to suffer from a touch of impostor syndrome, or fall under burnout. In medicine, it’s easy not to feel like you’re being all that succesful. Sometimes it can even make you feel you’re actually pretty bad; sometimes I feel like I’m nowhere near what I could or should be, but I try to deal with those thoughts. Can’t let them win!  I think sharing a bit of myself with others helps with that; it reminds me that I’m not doing badly after all, and have a lot to be grateful for. Also, multifarious is such an awesome word. And a word I don’t remember coming across before, which is a rare thing. Thank you for that! :D3) Hey, quite a few of my best friends are gay or bi, including like the best gynaecologist in training (would I let one of my gay gal best uni friends deliver my baby if I ever had one? You bet! If I have a kid with and find a way to move to wherever she would be working), so of course that doesn’t make me uncomfortable :). Thank you for caring about my comfort (I get it, online people can be creepy, people’s mileage may vary regarding declarations from strangers),but I’ll take it as a compliment. You continue to be your best gay self!

[dystoopia]

The sweet cake tag - or something like it :3

the longest gtk me tag to ever exist 🍰

i was tagged by the lovely sweet extraordinary @floatingdownthemoonriver (thanks <3) for this extravagant tag! 

the last…

drink: coke bcuz i’m rebel  time you cried: last week probably ? These days are pretty cool so no tears just yet.

phone call: momma

text message: my college buddy, i like to call him Moz��o

song you listened to:  the song - Zion.t - i just love this song soooooo much the lyrics too ohh just so perfect *---*

have you…

dated someone twice: nop, im a single potato since forever

kissed someone and regretted it: maybe? 

been cheated on: No hahah i did even had a boyfriend

lost someone special: yes D: talking about friends and family members too

been depressed: since 15 till today - btw my tumblr was made when i found out about it. 

gotten drunk and thrown up: ohhh yes, but just 2 times? Something i let my control go and i drink a lot xD 

list three favourite colours…

anything in pastel - but mostly purple, blue and lime

in the last year have you…

made new friends:  YES!! A lot of them!!! )))

fallen out of love: Yes? I still dont know very well 

laughed until you cried: yes, when my doggie farted and she got scared

found out someone was talking about you: maybe but i dont really care hahahaha

met someone who changed you:  yes more then just one person.

found out who your friends are: yes, even when we were apart there were there

kissed someone on your facebook list: no hahaha 

general…

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: problablyn 95% of them cuz everyone its either from high school or college, so we i know them. and people from work too so yeah

do you have any pets: YES my little sunshine, Olivia, the best dog ever.

do you want to change your name: no really, although i like to use it in some differents ways, my full name is Mariana, but i like when people call me Mari, Marie (both in portuguese Ma-ri-ê or in the french way like the movie aristocats Marié)                           

what did you do for your last birthday: slept, because i had to work next day,so i got the holidays together to spend my birthday. (which is on 26 dec)

what time did you wake up: 9 am but got up to do things around 1pm

what were you doing at midnight last night: writing some thing for my storie and changing things on my resume - cuz imma a adult now (ha ha ha not really)

name something you can’t wait for:  my money to buy some decorations for my small home hahaha 

when was the last time you saw your mom: yesterday night

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life:  ohhh i would say a lot of things but right now i think my relation with my father’s family

what are you listening right now:  the new masterchef brazil episode hahahhaha im a trash for cooking programs

have you ever talked to a person named tom: just tom the cat hahahah that app which change the voice

something that is getting on your nerves:  money probleeeems

most visited website: tumblr, netflix, youtube and paypal hahah

about me…

mole/s: i have on my cheek under my right eye near my nose and some others around my body

mark/s: i have a little mark on my left cheek i made when i fall the stairs once. but i have some burns and little marks on my hands that i made but dont remember how

childhood dream: travel the world -still is btw also write a book

hair colour:  dark brown with some parts lighter

long or short hair: long hair!!! i dont suit with short hair

do you have a crush on someone: irl no but on internet yes, in bands yes, in movies yes, in games yes... so yes i have a lot of crushes

what do you like about yourself: my hair and my eyebrown <3 i take care of them pretty well

piercings: yes!!! i have two holes in both years. I have two nose rings one on the nose and one in the septum. Also i have one im my mouth 

blood type: i think its b+ ?

nickname:  mari, marie, b1, frambomari, marimari, na, ba, ma - just nicknames with one syllable HAHAHAH 

relationship status: free and single ready to bingo

zodiac: capricorn <3 but im more of a cancer person than capricon

pronouns: she/her!

favourite tv show (s): KITCHEN NIGHTMARES /// HELLS KITCHEN <3 AND a lot of other cooking shows. I like some series too like dance academy, some netflix’s series . pretty much it

tattoos: yes one in my arm of some birds flying. But this year im covering it with a octupus tattoo

right or left hand: righty!

surgery:  nooo

hair dyed in different colour: yes!! pretty much every color. White, red, pink, blue, turquese, yellow, ginger, gray and green,

sport:  i used to play vollyball but its been soooo long so right now just on the ps3

vacation: beach!!!! I love going to the beach just seeing the ocean in general

pair of trainers: i have a lot of adidas hahah 

more general…

eating: mashed potatos!!!! and cabbage with butter <3

drinking: tea!!! and coffe with milk

i’m about to: finish my masterchef episode hahaha 

waiting for: my job interview cuz i need it 

want: new toys for olivia and some ice cream <3

get married: one day maybe

career: probably a teacher <3 im going to start studing literature mostly from brazil and then from the world

which is better…

hugs or kisses: hugs bcuz they make ours hearts be closer

lips or eyes: eyes, they can let you see all galaxies from people)

short or tall: tall *-*            

older or younger:  i prefer older my same age is good too hahaha younger maybe not

nice arms or nice stomach: well idk i like both hahaha 

sensitive or loud: i would say more of talkative

hook up or relationship: relationship all the way)

troublemaker or hesitant: depends of what kind of trouble we talking about hahahha 

have you ever…

kissed a stranger: yes hahah on a party 

drank hard liquor: maybe? 

lost glasses/contact lenses: lost glasses more than one, also my contact, but this one were so many times that im stuck with glasses hahaha i like them more than the contacts

turned someone down: yes!!! on my high school days. bad times bad times

sex on the first date: nooooo

broken someone’s heart: maybe? you know the bad times in high school  

had your heart broken: yes D: just once though

been arrested: nooo hahaha 

cried when someone died: yes a lot.

fallen for a friend: no cuz no feelings for friends hahaha they are friends not possible crushs -just sometimes -

do you believe in…

yourself: not really hahahah i need a push up sometimes                    

miracles: Yes! 

love at first sight: yes but not love as the raw felling of passion just a atracttion based on looks. The feel of love is more than the beauty itself.

santa claus: not anymoreee

kiss on the first date: depends hahaha 

angels: yes

other…

current best friends name:  clara, beatriz, camila and my tumblr friends that sometimes we dont talk but i love you guys

eye colour: dark brown

favourite movie(s): MEGAMIND!!!! and ratattouile <3 In reality any animation movie and those cliche dramas ! 

Now i’ll tag some people, you dont need to do it if dont want! 

@iceinthecube , @krismehard, @minwuchan, @sunsoosoo, @shun-shinee. @wordswithoppar, @chocolateraingiu

YEY

[thekorcariwilds]

Nsfw delete if you want idc Im so sorry i dont want to go off anon bc im scared and i dont wantt o attach my Real identity to this befpre Im Sure or whatever but like. Okay now that i think about sex in general scares me bc Trauma but any and all sex dreams ive had involving men are. Very noncon and uncomfortable and the ones involving women are also uncomfortable but bc of some exterior threat (being caught) not the deed itself you know. Im so sorry for dumping this on you im so sorry

Im so sorry even rn i feel like im just a confused straight wasting your time w my nonsense im just honestly so scared of any possible outcome of this line of thought im terrified of the idea of dating a girl and like telling people about it bc what if it turns out to be a phase (ive been through a lot of phases) what if it ISNT a phase how will i tell my family i dont think im ace but thr idea of sex terrifies me and what if no girls will date me bc of that

I'm so sorry for telling you all of this you dont need to respond or even read any of this I just needed to type it all down and honestly you're barely even older than me I shouldn't be dumping all this on a complete stranger.

its okay i totally get it if u dont wanna come off anon!!! n yeah i can unfortunately relate i also used to have bad uncomfortable sex dreams about men bcuz of trauma and weird internalized lesbophobia and stuff and tbh that’s something i really don’t have much advice about because i’m still working through it myself and also because i never really went through being sex repulsed but there are a lot of recovery resources on the internet and honestly talking about it really does help even if you’re just venting on your blog under a read more just like....... writing it down and getting it out is incredibly cathartic. and i feel like a hypocrite for saying it because i personally don’t like therapy, but it really does help a lot of people and if it’s possible i’d recommend trying to see a counselor, altho i know that if ur a minor/still on your parents health care that can sometimes be hard

you absolutely arent wasting my time regardless!! its a journey that can take a long time for some people and there’s nothing wrong with being scared of being gay like........... i definitely was when i first realized i might like girls. i didn’t tell anyone for years because i was scared i would change my mind one day but the thing is: it usually isn’t a phase and also there is absolutely nothing wrong with trying on labels when you’re questioning. like honestly just calling yourself gay/lesbian in your head/on your blog/etc is really helpful because it starts to normalize it and it helps you figure out whether or not it’s a label that fits you. you don’t have to commit to anything right away. you don’t have to tell anyone anything until you’re comfortable in your own identity. there’s no rush

and also there are plenty of lbp women who are ace or sex repulsed or who just don’t care about sex like i promise you that there are girls who feel the same way that you do who will like you. honestly a lot of lbp women have complicated relationships with sex like you are absolutely not alone!!!

anyway i think the most important thing to remember is that there’s nothing wrong with going at your own pace with stuff like this. you don’t have to feel bad about not being okay or not having everything figured out. your journey is allowed to be long and confusing and messy. you don’t have to figure everything out immediately