#not that itll be recognisable at all but you know lol

[charmac]

any thoughts about kaitlyn's new show coming out?

I'm not really into the premise of the show honestly, but I will be tuning in for a few reasons:

First being that I'm a big weekly serialised TV guy (and always have been). If your show has a ton of episodes and airs weekly in an 8, 9, or 10pm slot on network television I will be seated (at least to see if I actually enjoy it).

Also the head writer and writer of the Pilot episode is Drew Goddard, who is a very seasoned TV writer but, for me, the major draw being he was an executive producer and writer on Lost, my all-time favourite show. I have some trust that it will be well written.

But the main reason I'll be following the show for at least the fall season is that originally High Potential was to be spear-headed by Rob Thomas, who created another one of my favourite shows, iZombie. Interestingly, Rob Thomas dropped out as Showrunner and as Executive Producer in June for no given reason. Production went on hiatus for about a month due to this, and his name has been pulled from any connection to the show. I believe the first few episodes are still under him (they didn't re-write or re-shoot what they had, simply transitioned to a new Showrunner), so I'm pretty interested to follow the shift there. We'll see how things go...

Also, weird fun fact my high brain made a connection that High Potential premieres on the 15th anniversary of the premiere of Season 5 of Sunny...

[girl-bateman]

Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍

[badomensgoodomens]

RIFFS AND REGRETS - NOAH SEBASTIAN

oc name used: arabella

warnings: mention of sex?? throwing up??

unedited btw

summary: lol u dont get one keep reading.

The pounding on the bus door was enough to drag my sorry ass out of bed. I should NOT have drank that much. “Bella!!!” the pounding was repetitive. “Sorry! Sorry! Geez. i didn't even have a bra on.” My drummer, leo, stood infront of me with the hangover holy grail. coffee. 

I rub my face, god i slept in my makeup. He hands me an iced latte, in which i accept gratefully. We were currently parked in the bus sector of good things festival, approximately two days before it kicked off. I knew he was here, engraved into the back of my fucking skull. I just wonder if they were still together. 

I was talking about noah of course, the topic of him having haunted my dreams the past 4 years. Silhouettes of Silence (SOS) kicked off after we stopped being friends, which im sure  was a real slap in the face for him. I do briefly remember the events leading up to the pure distaste and hurt i feel towards the man, but i could honestly go on forever. 

I was snapped out of thought as leo repeatedly snapped in front of my face. “Get your shit together you haven’t even seen him yet” he says, raising an eyebrow at me. “Wheres lucy and gene?” i ask, glancing around the poorly furnished bus. “Probably hooking up somewhere." “I ought to fire those two one of these days.” 

With a sigh, i get up from my position on the leather couch. “Cmon, we gotta go set up our merch tent.” much to my absolute dismay, we were opposite none other than the bad omens merch tent. I just avoid eye contact. I loiter near pierce the veils tent, danielle had babysat me my entire childhood so we were close. 

“Silhouettes of silence, huh?” i heard a voice behind me. I could recognise that little shit anywhere. “Folio!!” i turn on my heels, running towards him. I hug him tightly, even after all this time he still smells and feels the same. “Ive missed you, man.” he says, pulling away. I shrug awkwardly, “hah… sorry. Kind of skipped town after everything went down. Im proud of you, you look well.” i say, shifting awkwardly on my feet. “Same to you bella, you look better.” he says with that stupid smile. “We should hang out some time.” i say, smiling at him. “Mhm, bring back our thrifting adventures.’ he says, glancing back to his tent. “Hey i gotta go, catch you later yeah?” he says, disappearing before i can even say anything. 

“That was an absolute disaster.” i gesture to danielle, who had appeared next to me. “Eh, id say it wasn’t too bad. If the rest of em are like that, this’ll be a breeze for you.” she responds. “Just wish it wasn’t like this.” i say. She hums, before stepping back to return to her organising. I take a deep breath, it was day one and i was already exhausted. I manage to leg it back to the bus without another unnecessary encounter with an omen boy, but at what cost. 

I step inside the dark tour bus to be met with the sound of moans and skin slapping. 

Oh my god. 

“Abstinence in the tour bus they said. Itll be fun being in a band they said” 

—--------------------------

Another day of rehearsals and setting up, pre show day nerves hitting me hard. I go for a walk after the suns set, just minding my own business. It was late, and quiet. Moments like this really kept me alive. My bassist and guitarist were immature, i feel like im going no where with my life, im still caught up on a GUY- oh god theres somebody behind me. 

“You look like shit.” 

“Oh my fucking GOD jolly you scared the shit out of me you creep.” i hiss, turning around. He just laughs, walking alongside me. “Its like 11pm, why are you out here walking alone?” he asks. “Thinking.” i mutter, looking down at my feet. “Fuck. i cannot see.” he mumbles, turning his phone flash on. 

We do a lap of the festival grounds, just catching up a bit. “You look different.” jolly says abruptly. I stop walking, now confused. “Sorry?” “its just.. I dont know. Youve lost weight, dyed your hair, started a band, covered yourself in tattoos its just.. Weird. You definitely look more.. You.” he says. I ponder for a moment. “Geez youre observant.” 

We finish our lap off, before going our separate ways to our buses. “Soo… seen him yet? Leo asks, sprawled out on a leather couch with some chips. “No… not yet atleast. But i'm gradually ticking off his bandmates.” i respond, sitting down next to him to steal a chip. “They were your friends too, bella.” he says, his voice softening on me. “Dont get all sappy on me” i say, shoving him. He laughs.

—--------------------------------------------

Showtime. 

I  could actually throw up. 

I stand infront of the shitty bathroom mirror, some comfy flares and a hoodie on for now. I take deep breaths before warming up my voice.

Everyone gathers for soundcheck. 

“Hi yes im in my slippers, uhhh someone give me a song to sing.” 

“Floral and fading!!!” 

“My voice doesn’t go thaaaat high!!” 

Its about 3pm now, ive already pregamed some drinks and some artists have even started. Leo is curling my hair, while i cake on some makeup. “Im so not ready for this.” i say, setting my face. “You’ll do perfectly fine, warm your voice up.” he says, poking my side. 

I stand backstage, cracking my knuckles. Something I usually do out of pure fear. I rock on the balls of my feet, zoning the fuck out. “You got this.” Lucy says, standing in front of me. I just nod, anxiety swirling in my stomach. “You’re on in 10.” the stage manager says, walking behind me. I sigh, rubbing my face. “Im gonna shit myself” i choke out a laugh. 

I finally get my shit together and step out onto the main stage. Our song ‘urban legends’ blares through the plethora of speakers, my stage presence is bipolar compared to me naturally. I’m confident on stage, not in real life. 

Passion seeps through my voice as i perform our debut album, ‘echoes of silence’ the crowd is ecstatic, feeling the vibe. I transition into our newer songs, whom have grown popular on tiktok. Its exhausting really, but i love the adrenaline. 

As our set closes, i stalk past all the sea of backstage members, catching the eye of the one man id been trying to avoid. I don’t have time to care though, i can hear leo walking behind me, trying to get my attention. Fuck. i need a bucket. 

I run into the backstage bathrooms, throwing up. Gene and lucy hold my hair back. My ears are ringing and i feel queasy.

The last thing i hear before i black out is

“Is she okay?”

_____________________________

credits to whoever came up with 'abstinence in the tour bus' i read it somewhere and think of it religiously lol.

[mithliya]

same gs discourse anon, yeah i feel like the type of people who rarely go against themselves and their instincts in general are people with a very defined sense of self, perhaps self assured people. this doesn't mean they can't be mentally ill or face hardships, it just means those things affect them differently. they're less easily influenced than others i think.

so to extend this to gs lesbians involved in this discourse, these are people who have been very aware of their own thoughts and feelings and able to accurately interpret them from a young age, which is fairly impressive; i believe that's a good quality that we all should seek to have, and I'd like future generations to have those qualities, but im not very hopeful since younger kids being exposed to the internet and thus porn are a very common occurrence these days, there's no way that's not going to have serious consequences in one's psyche and sexuality.

or we could say the more vitriolic people involved in this discourse are in fact not self assured and clear minded, but rather painfully insecure. they have gone through abusive situations, and perhaps they have a lot of doubts themselves, so they latch onto the fact they've never been with men to assure themselves they are indeed lesbians, and lash out at nongoldstars because they threaten their worldview, which is primarily build around self validation, for the purpose of self validation. a form of projection methinks.

sorry for going on a tangent lol

hey sorry for answering late!! i was unwell and i don't like this topic too much bc it does always bring me back to a very difficult time in my life, to some degree. what you mentioned about self-awareness rings very true for me, at least. as someone who faced a lot of trauma and abuse growing up, i grew up incredibly and severely disconnected from myself. i would do things and instantly feel terrible afterwards and feel suicidal and yet i'd somehow never connect the two. i know im not alone on this, many traumatised & mentally ill & abused women have probably also been very disconnected from themselves at one point or another. i had to go to therapy for literal YEARS just so i would be aware of my own feelings and thoughts. and when ur going thru that, ofc you have not processed even basic things and it makes going against ur nature and instincts super easy bc basically ur so disconnected from urself that u dont even know what u want and want u don't want and what you like vs don't like. a lot of the therapy i received was teaching me basic things which are part of our natural survival instincts: eat, itll make you feel better; sleep, it'll help you stabilise ur moods; don't sit in your room in the dark 24/7, it can make you depressed; talk about your emotions, it can help; if something makes you uncomfortable and disgusted, you don't have to do it; etc etc etc.

so i agree that these are important qualities to have when it comes to acting in line with your sexuality. you'd have to be mentally healthy to some degree and you'd also have to be not so mentally unhealthy that you literally don't even recognise yourself or your feelings. im sure many were also mentally ill and traumatised and struggled with recognising their feelings to some degree, and yet still had a stop point, but that's also not the case for everyone and signifies nothing about someone's innate sexuality.

and yeah i feel like at least a few of them clearly seem to latch onto how they reacted to trauma as validation for their own sexualities and that doesn't seem healthy or self-assured to me. it's hard growing up with trauma and it's hard to recognise your feelings after facing it, many traumatised women esp end up having unclear feelings and going thru a lot of periods of dissociation which makes understanding yourself (which is something so basic that it can be baffling to others to realise some of us struggle w this) difficult. so i understand why some with that experience latch onto their gs and the arguments they make to validate themselves. but it doesnt change that the argument is super black & white and ignores the reality that people aren't either polilez bisexuals that are trying to invade lesbian spaces (which are definitely a group of ppl that exist and cause us issues) or goldstar lesbians. theres more nuance than that to our experiences and this is bc we aren't so simple that we always simply act on instinct and can never go against our instincts and integral parts of ourselves. i wish we did bc itd simplify everything but that's literally just not how human beings are

[readyplayerhobi]

What you have done with flower is amazing. Tattooed hoseok has set the standards high lol and just HOW patient can he be like 😩😩. Also dealing with body insecurity and making it realistic, i def struggle with that and it doesnt go away just bc someone u love says ur body is perfect and it’s great how you’ve integrated that into the series. Buildup to kiss/ and sex is 👌. And oc not orgasming but like being ok with it and discussing it beforehand with like yesthank u for this thoughtful series.

Yes to all this! She will orgasm but itll be 'off screen' if you get me. For now though, she just really enjoys the sex and the intimacy of it all. She's still not comfortable with her body so they're not doing anything wild but for the moment, they're both pretty content with it.

He'd love to make her orgasm obviously but he's not pushing it because she doesn't want him to. They have a very good relationship together that's being heavily built on trust and that's got a lot to do with Hoseok suppressing any urges he might have for sex early because he recognised that she's something special for him. He's been with a lot of women over the years and he just knows with her.

[itsdykenight]

THOTS ON R*PUTATION NOW I’VE LISTENED TO IT ALL AND REALISED IT’S NOT AS BAD AS I THOT

...ready for it? - i swear i’ve only listened to this twice but i know all the words kdjhgfdsh. and also.....in this middle of the NIIIIIIIIIIIGHT is my favourite part of the album. still cringey though (burton to this taylor....)

end game - imagine thinking that future and ed sheeran and taylor swift would work......terriblé (probably the most annoying song)

i did something bad - this starts out sounding like a disney villain song (the staccato violin......). i’d probably like the chorus if it wasnt so over-produced.

don’t blame me - sounds the same as ready for it and idsb tbh....boring! next!

delicate - better but i SWEAR the production on these songs is soooo annoying. i guess itll work in stadiums but uughhghhghh. the lyrics are so much better than any of the previous songs. imo this is where the album gets better

look what you made me do - listening to this for the first time since maybe august and yeah.........interesting. it’s a bop and very Taylor Swift Single (it’s so infuriatingly catchy) but jesus i swear there’s more to complain about by this point in the album....

so it goes... - this sounds a lot like a zayn mind of mine era song tbh. a bit meh but yeah she’s trying to be more grown-up cool despite being nearly 28(if she says ‘chill’ again i’m going to sue her)

gorgeous - okay..................more emotional that i thought but still can’t believe ‘i cant say anything to your FACE......cause look at your FACE’

getaway car - the LYRICS in this!!! this is why taylor is still good!!!!! it’s very very out of the woods but ooooh my goooooodddd THERE WERE SIRENS IN THE BEAT OF YOUR HEART (i also appreciate the dickens lmaooo)

king of my heart - i hate this autotune on her voice and the production, it just detracts from the fact that this is sort of a good song

dancing with our hands tied - GAY!!!! FRANKLY!!!!!! and this first time the production of the song makes sense!!!!!!!!

dress - okay girl!!!!!! i lovveveveveve!!! this in a stadium will sound amazing with all that spacey backing

this is why we can’t have nice things - lmaooooo i’m so tired of these songs from her but it’s hilarious (also i hear the piano from k*ty p*rry’s roar in the chorus so.........lol)

call it what you want - this final part of the album is so thoughtful and lyrically sweet (unless it’s ‘i want to wear his inital on a chain round my neck, chain round my neck, not because he owns me but because he really knows me’..........that can choke)

new year’s day - the sweetest and more beautiful narrative song.  it really does say a lot about where the album has lead to....like from those weird and angry songs to ‘please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh i could recognise anywhere’ and just this image of a tired and lovesick girl who loves and loves so much and holds onto things like candlewax, glitter, and polaroids. i just love this song rip.

so in summary: it’s my least favourite t*ylor album but ooooooo do i have thoughts on it! it’s got two (and a half) very basic themes that don’t really mash together and the PRODUCTION is just.......honey............

anyway.....she could never have done better than speak now or red so why try!

[tumblunni]

ah no its okay! its just the achievement system being weird! You get the achievement for gathering evidence A right after gathering it, but only get the achievement for evidence B during the actual ending for some reason. Phewwww okay! But man its getting a bit annoying replaying the final scene trying to figure out the precise order to possess everyone to get certain endings. Its annoying cos there’s a long cutscene before it, and even though this game has a super fast skip feature you have to keep hitting the button for like a minute each time. Wish it could have at least been something you hold down instead :P oww my wrist ehh I guess I’ll pause here and wait a bit before going for the true ending. I’m gonna look up a guide cos its so frustrating having all the evidence and not knowing the right order to do it in, gahhh! And there’s so many trip ups where itll send you immediately into one of the bad endings, and then if you present too many pieces of evidence you get a bad ending and GAHHHH! How can I leave out half of these evidences and find other ones that say the same thing in less words?? Also it seems I might have to completely replay the final chapter cos the requirement for the golden-failure ending is to get everything for the golden ending except one thing. Its the only ending that cant be gotten after you get all the evidence, you can get all the other bad ones by messing up this final minigame :P gahhhhhh :P

Anyway RAMBLING ABOUT THE BAD ENDINGS SO FAR AND HOW GREAT THEY ARE (by which I mean DEPRESSING):

* Oh godddddd It wasnt ferdinand was it?? I mean if you get that ending then everyone acts as if it was him, but it didnt seem very believeable?? The ending is so quick and weird. Its definately a bad ending. You get it from presenting just one piece of evidence during the final minigame, and then ferdinand never confesses and honestly his alternate suggestion makes a fuckin lotta sense! When Donavan shoots him he confesses that he’s actually a conman that snuck onto the ship with false papers to steal stuff, but then Donavan is like ‘NO. YOU ARE THE KILLER.’ and shoots him dead anyway. And everyone is just like.. ‘umm.. i guess... he was the killer...?’ and it just ends! I really dont think he was the killer, I think he was just a petty criminal instead. or if he WAS the killer, we didnt really prove it here, we didnt find the real truth. That was just executing a scapegoat because we didnt solve the mystery. Tho it would be incredibly ironic if we get the true ending and it turns out he WAS a serial killer! option to actually deduce it was him, option to not deduce anything and just accidentally shoot the right man XD Either way he is a creepy fuck and clearly evil even if he didnt kill anyone. Thats why I can believe that he was a misdirect and he’s just a different criminal who wasnt involved with the main plot. I was suspicious of him for AGES and I was so convinced he was the killer but now I’m really heckin not!

* The ultimate bad ending where you don’t pin anyone as the killer is just so depressing and messed up! Donavan turns into a monster himself in his pursuit of the killer, he’s got his guts hanging out and he knows someone in the room has to be the culprit but he doesnt have time. So he tries to kill EVERYONE just in case! Wow you lost every single one of those badass points you had when I first got to play as you, dude. I was actually happy you didnt die! Now I’m frickin glad to see you shoot yourself after shooting all my friends, you fuck! ‘Hey I avenged one person’s death by killing nine other innocent people but lol I got the criminal’. Godddd, I can see how he got to this point but man its impossible to be sympathetic even if its not like he’s evil. Jeeesus... And if anything its WORSE that he dies before he can finish off every single main character! Paulo survives in this one, along with Xu who feels like she deserved to die. And Paulo is so traumatized by everything that he becomes severely mentally ill and is only capable of repeating words people say at him, he doesnt even recognise anyone anymore and we dont even get to know if he gets treatment or if he could ever recover. We just see everyone huddled together on a lifeboat trying to make him wake up and crying that they deserved to die too... gahhh... WHY PAULO WHY Man, at least its better than how he doesnt even get a single line of dialogue in the other two bad endings, that was weird. I hope he gets an epilogue in the true ending at least! I cared about him the most! Oh and it really fuckin hurt how Quella and Darryl were murdered in reverse order, dear jesus. Darryl was fine with dying, but then Quella jumped in front of him to protect him and all it accomplished was that darryl actually cried for his own death before he got mowed down too. And their bodies were left holding each other! GAHHHHH And its even worse cos the dialogue kinda upgrades their friendship to some cute romantic tension in the bad endings where they survive, that just makes me love them more and then AAAAAA

* Oh and the third bad ending is really sneaky cos it seems like a true ending?? You discover who was behind the human trafficking and he gets a cathartic punishment and really the only clue it isnt the true ending is how ferdinand seems suspicious and it all wraps up a bit too quickly and all. I’m left wondering what on earth could be the extra thing in the true ending, like do we find out someone entirely else was involved in this, or do we get more of a proper reveal of how ferdinand was the serial killer and he gets actual karma instead of just being killed before anyone is even sure he really did it... BUT ANYWAY THIS BAD END THIS CULPRIT NOOOOOOOOOO God, I knew Ferdinand was probably the culprit but even with all the clues together I didnt realise the human trafficking was even happening, let alone who did it! IT WAS GRANDPA IT WAS GRANDPA ALL ALOOOOONG NOOOO I mean.. at least it wasnt the grandpa I liked best. Darryl is totally innocent. But it was the more clearly a grandpa dude, the one you cant even debate is actually fifty. WHY GRANDPA WHY Gah, at least now I have an excuse why for once I didnt like a grandpa character. He always did seem like a bit of a suspicious asshole, even if I also believed a lot of what he said and never thought he’d be THAT evil! like.. god. Even if his sympathetic backstory is true he just fuckin destroyed it by reacting this way to it. Hell, i dont even trust its true though, i feel like it likely his wife divorced him for very good reasons after seeing what his personality really is in this ending. His kids are fuckin lucky theyre never gonna see him again! GAHHHHH The cute grandpa who loves cats and GAHHHH he was drugging and transporting kidnapped tennage girls to be sold into sex slavery. And he justified it by saying ‘oh humans are all animals, my wife was like an animal to me, blablabla its just our base desire to be evil motherfuckers’. And even right to the end he didnt understand why we were all disgusted at him, he was like ‘okay you can stop lying now, you dont REALLY care about these random nameless victims, you just wanna get a cut of the profits! I can make you all fuckin’ rich, we can smooth this all over, right?’ its so fuckin sick cos he was faking concern throughout the whole damn minigame so clearly he DOES understand that some people are good, right? He has to understand what morality is, he’s just excusing himself by pretending all of humanity is inherantly the same as him! GOD it was satisfying to see him shot in the head mid sentence Tho still i wish for an ending where the culprits can go to prison and suffer forever for what they did, and nobody else has to die. Also i want some conclusion for Paulo And a proper goodbye scene for the protagonist instead of them just dissappearing after the last minigame with no fanfare at all :P

* Also wtf was up with the mystery ghost in the bathroom, then? They just ask you random personality quiz type questions once per chapter of the game, and get no conclusion or reveal of who they are. Did they just stay haunting the bathroom forever, unable to solve their own murder like the protagonist did? Thats depressing. I mean i could understand their lack of conclusion if they were just meant to be a tutorial character or something, but paulo does all that! And why do they say all those questions if your choices dont matter...??