#not that anyone cares bc he's never using v.i. ever again but lucy 100% gave him the name valentina ivanka virgil gus grissom tracy

[tracybirds]

Been playing with some headcanons for funsies :D Trans Virgil is one I have been enjoying playing with sooo here he is <3 coming out to Gords

big thanks to @tanushakyrano for reading it through and egging me on lol

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“Gordon,” he said, eyes wide. “Gordon, I think I’m straight.”

Gordon blinked, before a smile cracked on his face and he flung himself onto the bed howling with laughter.

“Gordon, I’m serious,” called Virgil, but Gordon only laughed harder and the words fell aside.

“Sorry, V,” he said, exaggerating the wiping away of tears in his eyes. “For a second there I thought you said you were straight.”

Virgil opened his mouth, only to feel the strange choking chill filling his lungs again, stealing his air.

“I mean, you and I have spent far too much time sighing over girls for that, remember Hannah Kim from the year between us?”

“I remember,” said Virgil.

He felt distant and removed from his own words, like the conversation was being whispered into a thick, grey fog that lay between them rather than shared across thousands of miles with modern holotech.

His heart thudded in his chest, and his hands twitched.

Just say it, screamed his mind.

It wasn’t judgment he feared, not from Gordon, not from any of his family.

He’d simply held the truth so close for so long it had become an intimate layering beneath his skin and the only way to begin to show it would be to expose himself again and again and again.

He needed Gordon to be the first one to help him shed his old self.

He didn’t know if he could do it alone.

Gordon’s laughter died away.

“Hey, V? You’re not looking so good.”

“I think I need to sit down.”

He stumbled backwards and exhaled slowly and carefully, the slow count he’d been taught ringing in his ears. His hands fluttered against his breast, mirroring his pounding heart within.

“Do you need me to call someone?” asked Gordon anxiously, hovering helplessly above him. “I can get out to you tomorrow; Dad’ll organise it now if you need me there.”

“No,” said Virgil sharply. “It’s fine, I’m just… he doesn’t need… I mean…”

The words were taking too much effort to say.

He wasn’t scared.

It was just so real.

Always before it had been this nebulous thing, humming quietly at the back of his mind, slowly growing into an itch that he couldn’t ignore.

The strained smile when someone cheerfully acknowledged him and their descriptors fell like heavy rocks he couldn’t escape from. The momentary panic when someone introduced him and “call me V” broke out of him before another word could be said. Even the light touches of girls flirting with him made him clam up, knowing they were only falling for the lie he’d presented to everyone over and over as the years passed.

Gordon was still watching him carefully.

“I assume you weren’t kidding then?”

Not trusting himself to speak, Virgil shook his head.

“I think… No. I know that I’m not Valentina.”

The name sounded strange on his tongue, like a foreign memory of the long, lost past.

“Okay, not Valentina,” said Gordon. “I can work with that. You need some time? Want to try out some different names then? Some pronouns?”

“He/him,” said Virgil, thanking the heavens that Gordon seemed to know exactly how to move forward, peeling back the layers of his past in an instant. “And I’m taking my middle name.”

Gordon snorted.

“Which one? I swear Mom and Dad found out you were a girl and panicked about you ruining their whole theme.”

He faltered for a second.

“Uh, I mean…”

Virgil laughed.

“I’ll just shorten it, I think. Take out the “Valentina Ivanka” part.” His eyes softened. “After all, Mom still gave me that name. I don’t want to lose it entirely.”

“Virgil Grissom Tracy,” said Gordon, trying it out. “It suits you.”

Virgil flushed.

“Thanks.”

“So, are you telling anyone yet? Or taking your time.”

“I think I’ll tell the others in person,” he said. “Just give myself a few weeks first.”

“It’s going to be fine – you know that right?”

Virgil smiled.

“Yeah, I know. They’ll still love me and all that sappy stuff.”

“Well, you’re the one that’s always gone in for that sappy stuff.”

“I can’t help it,” he said. “The goop just makes me so happy.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hey, just imagine how buff you’re gonna get on T,” said Gordon, eyes lighting up.

“That’s not why I’m doing this.”

“Yeah, but just imagine anyway. All the girls are gonna be falling at your feet.”

“They already do,” retorted Virgil. “Just because you’ve got no game.”

“I’ve got game!” exclaimed Gordon. “It just… takes longer.”

“Sadly staring at people and hoping they’ll take to you like some lost puppy isn’t game, Gordon,” said Virgil chuckling.

Gordon laughed easily with him. The dense grey fog that had dogged Virgil’s footsteps over the past several months had lifted and he couldn’t believe how light the way forward now seemed.

Bright and clear and so very possible, two brothers just laughing and joking side by side.

The world finally felt as though it had clicked into place.