#not that any of that fazes yosuke? kanji is his friend now hes one of them and therefore yosuke immediately wants to look out for him

[daily-hanamura]

[angevon]

Souyo Nov Writing Challenge (prompt list)

Day 11: Confession

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DW

Yosuke has something important to say, if he can manage to say it.

Yosuke was lying on his back on his bed in the dark. It wasn't an unusual occurrence these days. Third year was proving to be as stressful as everyone had warned him. With all the homework he had, his dad had even reduced his hours at Junes.

But schoolwork wasn't what was was causing him to stare at the ceiling with his mind reeling and his heart racing. It was something else entirely. And the closer he came to the conclusion, the more he broke out into a cold sweat.

He'd honestly been trying to ignore it, but after today... he couldn't.

Before he could stop himself, he called his best friend, Souji. "Y-yo, partner..." he said in a shaky voice when the phone picked up.

"Yosuke? Is everything all right?"

Yosuke wanted to laugh. Trust Souji to zoom in on his hesitation. "No," he answered with full honesty. "I really need to talk to you."

"...Yeah?"

Yosuke rubbed his face. "I don't even know where to start."

"Start with what's first on your mind," Souji suggested.

He took a deep breath, trying to psych himself up. "So, Chie invited me to a basketball game today. That kid that sits behind her was like 'Oh is it a date?' but no, I definitely don't feel that way about her. I mean, could you imagine that? Me and Chie?"

"Not really," Souji said.

"A-anyway, I guess she'd planned to go with Ichijo, but something happened and he'd bailed. No one else was interested, so she'd turned to me." Yosuke began to warm up to the topic. It was easy to keep going now that he'd started. "So we go to the game. It's some college game all the way over in Okina. They're professionals. They even have cheerleaders."

"Cheerleaders, huh? Sounds like you had fun."

"Well, the cheerleaders are supposed to be distracting, right? To make the other team fail their plays, I guess. I mean, they were there and all, but... I don't know, I just kept noticing how on both teams, those basketball players had some really short shorts on. That was way more distracting."

"The better to move around in, I suppose," Souji said.

"Never really noticed a guy's calves before," Yosuke admitted. "Actually, that's a lie, I noticed back when—but a-anyway," he rallied on, "You ever notice how tall basketball players are? And sometimes, when they throw the ball, they're so graceful about it. It was almost like a dance. Ichijo really missed out."

"What about Chie?" Souji asked.

Yosuke blinked. "What about her?" He paused. "Oh yeah, she was there too. I don't know. I don't think she noticed. Oh, actually, after the game... her scooter broke down, so she had to ride with me on mine."

"Oh," Souji said in a knowing tone of voice. "So it finally happened."

Yosuke sighed. "Yeah, yeah. The up close and personal plan. It wasn't that great."

"Why not?" Souji asked. "Because it was Chie?"

"Maybe," Yosuke said. "But I think... it'd be the same with any girl. Do you remember when we first got our scooters? And then mine got crushed and I had to ride with Kanji? I hated it at the time. But looking back, it wasn't so bad."

"Kanji is a good guy," Souji said.

"He really is." Yosuke sighed. "He was really nice about it, you know? He made me hold on tight so I wouldn't fall off when we headed down a hill. I thought for sure he'd get tired with my extra weight, but he wasn't fazed at all."

"You don't weigh much," Souji teased.

"Come on, I don't weigh nothing!" Yosuke shook his head instinctively, though he knew Souji couldn't see it. "But yeah, Kanji is strong, but you know what the kicker is? He's so soft. He likes kids and makes all those cute toys for them. And even though Teddie is all 'don't touch my fur!' he doesn't hold it against him. Doesn't that make him pretty amazing?"

"He is a good guy," Souji repeated. "But why are you saying this now?"

"I'm trying to tell you!" Yosuke said, beginning to sweat. "I've been noticing it more now. When guys are, you know. Being strong. But also soft." He waited for an answer, but when there was nothing, he filled the silence. "W-when they take time to style their hair. When they smile with their teeth and you can really feel it. When their clothes fit just right. I'm noticing all these things. And I think... I always did, but I just ignored it."

"Go on," Souji said softly.

"Because... guys aren't supposed to notice these things about other guys, right? Girls can compliment girls and it doesn't mean anything, but for us, it's... weird." Yosuke sighed. "Now I see why Kanji hated those words. 'Weird' and 'strange' and... 'different.' But if it's weird, why does it feel like it happens naturally?"

"Yosuke..."

After that, Yosuke waited with bated breath for Souji's response. He'd all but spelled out what he'd meant with all this. Though, on second thought, maybe it wasn't so clear. It had all made sense in his head, but he could see now that he'd been rambling. If Souji didn't get it, then he just had to say it.

"S-Souji," Yosuke said. His throat closed up then, forcing him to choke out his next words. "I... I'm gay."

There. He'd said it. It was out there, and he couldn't take it back.

Silence followed. Souji was still there, Yosuke could hear him breathing. But he wasn't saying a word. Yosuke's pride in having finally said it rapidly evaporated. Why the silence? Of all his friends, Souji was the only one he trusted with this. The one he felt needed to know, even if it would affect their friendship. Would it affect their friendship? The cold sweat returned. What if—

"Thank you for telling me," Souji said. There was a short pause. "I know it isn't easy..." Another pause. "I'm sorry. That silence went on a little too long, didn't it?"

"N-No, I'm fully aware that I need to learn patience—wait," Yosuke said, "What do you mean you know?"

"Because... I do," Souji said simply.

"You... so you..."

"Yeah."

"Huh." Slowly, Yosuke began to smile. If Souji was gay too, then... it was all okay. He relaxed as a profound sense of relief flooded through him.

Short-lived relief, anyway. Because if Souji was gay too, then... then every stupid thing... everything he did and said that hurt Kanji, every thoughtless comment...

It hurt him too...

"I'm sorry," Yosuke said.

"I'm sorry, too."

"Huh? What are you sorry for? I—"

"I could have told you," Souji said. "Helped you."

"Souji..."

Another silence followed. Yosuke felt tears in his eyes. He managed to blink them away.

"I was such a dumbass..." he said.

"Don't say that."

"Well, don't say you're sorry either!" Yosuke said. "You can still help me. You can always help me."

"I think," Souji said slowly, "we can help each other."

Yosuke took a moment to process that. "Y-yeah... we can. Promise?"

"I promise," said Souji. "Now..."

He trailed off. "What?" Yosuke prompted.

"Tell me more about those basketball shorts?"