#not that I'm against it it just takes me forever to really process text (not skimming for fun)

[knxfesck]

surprised how much of commieblr wants to be mutuals with me considering how catastrophically lame and not well read I am I guess that just means I really am a Good Poster

[p1utofairy]

PAC: “one hit of your love addicted me. now i’m strung out on you, darlin’, can’t you see?” 🕊️🕰️✨📨

• what will your first love be like?

disclaimer ✩: take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i wanted to try something new by including edits but ofc tumblr is annoying and doesn’t let you post more than 1 video ugh. hope you all enjoy this though! love you much.

PILE ONE.

hey pile 1 🎀 right off the bat i gotta say…your person could possibly give anakin skywalker vibes visually lolololol very tall, handsome and broody. i'm also thinking of jon snow from ‘game of thrones’ hmmm i think this just ties into the fact that your person is in their bag a good 85% of the time! they analyze and process their thoughts & emotions a lot, and this won’t change especially when it comes to their love and devotion for you. they are very intense and purposeful when it comes to love — there’s no faking it or forcing it. they say what they mean, and mean what they say. they hold themselves to a very high standard so i think they’ll be in their head a lot when it comes down to approaching you/courting you. they want to make sure that they’re doing and saying the right things…they want to make sure that you’re comfortable. they will prioritize you and take the time out to really get to know you! they don’t want to do the whole cliché “wyd” texts or just take you out to the movies. no, they want to be able to take you to places you’ve never been before & treat you to beautiful experiences that will stay with you forever. that’s how highly they think of you, pile 1! they think you deserve the best of the best and they will do everything in their power to give you just that. this person has been through a lot in their life and they’ve felt so alone and misunderstood. 9x out of 10 if they just got out of a relationship, their ex didn’t understand them or couldn’t match them emotionally. your person is big on “everything happens for a reason” so when you come into their life they’re going to feel so much joy and relief, it’s like you’re their saving grace. it’s that energy of — where have you been all my life? that scene of anakin and padmé in ‘star wars: attack of the clones’ on the balcony is coming to mind…the longing in their eyes before they share their first kiss. a lot of people may talk about y'alls relationship/how y'all got together. it's nothing scandalous…i just see people being infatuated? i’m picking up a lot of outside influences/opinions so just be careful of that…don't have too many people in your business cause i’m picking up that some of these people don’t have the best intentions and are secretly jealous. it’s giving very much “fan behavior” hm they might keep tabs or ask lots of questions about you and your person’s relationship…it’s weird. i think for some of you, you’ve been single for a long time, so it’s going to be a shock to a lot of people when you pop out with this person. once your person comes into your life you may start to notice multiple people show romantic interest in you and you’ll be like??? where tf were y’all at when i was single for ____ years?! LMFAOOOOO that’s hilarious but back to your first love, it’ll be beautifully intense. i see you giggling a lot, staring at your person with big starry eyes and a lot of physical touch between you two. it may not even be in a flashy way? i can just see you coming up behind them and placing a hand on their back to make your presence known…i see a lot of moments of them holding you in their arms and resting their forehead against yours — they’re looking at you with so much intensity…deep concentration and passion etched across their face and you just break out into this bright smile and they just melt. you look so innocent compared to them like there’s this light in your eyes that’s left their own a long time ago, but they feel so safe…so free to be themselves when they’re with you. you’re their heart, pile 1. i’m hearing that scene from ‘the bear’ when carmy tells sydney “i couldn’t do it without you. i wouldn’t even want to do it without you…” AWWWWEEEEEE.

via tnqkins on tiktok

other channeled messages:

who's that girl? by eve, shravana moon/rising, doe eyes, baby pink, curly hair, strong arms, yin & yang energy, younger/age difference, vishaka scorpio moon, hypnotic gaze, 10:10, mirroring each other, distinct cologne

PILE TWO.

heyyy pile 2! you will NOT expect to fall in love with this person wow, your feelings for them will actually catch you off guard. this person is not your usual type and that's what's so intriguing about them…you’ll never know what to expect with them; they’ll keep you on your toes. i think that you keep repeating cycles or keep going back to someone who is no good for you, but once you meet this person there’s no going back. you’ll gravitate towards them like a month drawn to a flame lol you can’t fight these feelings even if you wanted to. you might meet this person through a mutual friend or meet them in a group setting, i see other people around you both as you talk and get to know each other. there’s so much warmth that this person radiates…they feel like home to you. a hug from them could fix your bad day, a kiss from them could make your heart skip a beat 🥹 and their smile?! to see them smile at you will give you an instant serotonin boost. this relationship feels divine…it feels fated. it’s giving “right person at the right time” like everything leading up to this connection will make so much sense once you’re actually together. some of you that chose this pile are quick to self-sabotage or cut off a relationship before you can get too emotionally invested. you’ve built these walls up because you’ve been through a lot of shit and you don’t want the extra baggage a relationship can sometimes bring, but it’s gonna be different with this person. you’re going to be so open to receiving their love and reciprocating it, there’s going to be such a healthy balance between you two. i’m hearing that this person is going to be a wish fulfillment, pile 2. this might be a long distance relationship at first — you might have to travel to see each other or you both will like to travel to different places together. they will value you so much! they will wine and dine you, surprise you with your favorite things and make sure you always have whatever your heart desires. they love you and they will have no problem showing that.

other channeled messages:

short king, sagittarius, bisexual, when harry met sally, opposites attract, capricorn man, matcha latte, boyfriend by big time rush, saturn dominant, west virgina, virgo/6H placements, ruby, freckles

PILE THREE.

pile 333 🦢 whoa i'm already picking up that this is a love that only grows stronger and better with time; it ages like fine wine. WOW WOW WOW. i'm ngl i feel like this person is your divine counterpart…when i say you two are a match made in heaven — i mean it. you complete each other in ways that other people will never truly understand. there’s this unspoken love and desire between you two initially; i see you both stealing a lot of glances at each other, waiting for the other to cave in and say something…anything. you both want to close that space between you but don’t know exactly how to. i don’t think either of you has ever felt this way before about anybody 😮‍💨 this love is strong AF. it’s never a dull moment between you two, there’s always that underlying passion and spark ready to consume you both. i’m picking up that either your ex or their ex is going to be very envious of this relationship. they almost feel blindsided in a sense…they thought you were going to come back to them and give them another chance, so it's going to make them feel some type of way when they see that you’ve moved on. please be cautious of this ex pile 3…they don’t have good intentions at all and i pick up an obsessive vibe from them. we are blocking that all the way out 🧿 anyways! your person’s love language is more than likely quality time…they loveeeeeee spending time with you and stepping out of their comfort zone to try things that you like. there’s a solid friendship at the root of this connection pile 3…like not only is this person your lover, but they’re also your best friend wrapped into one. you will give them the key to your heart and vice versa. any other options or third party situations will be cut off/left behind because all you both can see is each other! nothing and no one can tear this relationship down because it’s built on such a strong foundation, you can see yourself with this person years down the line from now and they feel the exact same way. you’re home to them. i know this is your first love pile 3 but i wouldn’t be surprised if they popped the question 💍 — i'm just sayinnnnnnnnnn!

other channeled messages:

feel it by jacquees ft. lloyd & rich homie quan, la perla lingerie, just left a toxic relationship, rock the boat by aaliyah, air sign placements, 26, 111, lemon drop, leo, jaded by drake

[gaelic-symphony]

hi!! :)

i hope this isn't weird, but i love reading your posts about judaism to learn more from it. i don't follow any religion but i love getting to know them from people who do

and if you don't mind me asking, what are your favourite things about it? <3

i hope i have expressed myself well and you don't mind this 🫶🏼

I actually love this ask, and I'm so glad you sent it! There are so many things I love about Judaism, it would take me forever to come up with a list of them, but here are a few of my favorites:

I love our everyday rituals. I love keeping kosher and going to the kosher supermarket. I love that every time I eat or go grocery shopping, I'm affirming my connection to my people and my ancestors. I love that we have blessings for the most mundane human activities like washing our hands. I love ending every week with Shabbat. I love how it gives us a day to rest and reflect and be thankful before we start a new week, and I love having the weekly marker of Shabbat to track the passage of time. I love that you don't have to subscribe to any particular version of Jewish theology or believe that we do these things because Hashem commanded us in order to participate fully in these rituals. You can do them just because you find meaning in them. You can do them just because you're proud to be Jewish and follow the traditions of your ancestors.

I love our holidays. So many of them commemorate our survival against those who tried to wipe us out: Purim, Chanukah, Passover. Every year, we tell the story of our peoples' perseverance. We reflect on the strength and courage of generations of Jews before us that allowed our continued survival into the present day. Other holidays are seasonal markers of time. Tu B'Shvat is a little over a week away, and it's our "new year for trees," the time of year when the earliest trees start to bloom in the Land of Israel. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur mark the end of the old year and beginning of a new one, and give us the chance to leave our mistakes of the past year behind and learn from them moving forward as we start fresh with a brand new year. Sukkot is a traditional celebration of the annual harvest. And other holidays, we're just so happy to be Jewish that we need to throw a party about it! Shavuot celebrates the Israelites receiving the Torah from Hashem at Mount Sinai, and then we celebrate the Torah again on Simchat Torah, when we read the very last verses of the book of Dvarim and start all over again with Bereshit.

I love our music. Our daily prayers are set to music, with special nusach (melodies) for Shabbat and holidays. When we read from the Torah or the books of the prophets, we chant the words to the same melodies our ancestors have done for centuries. We sing as a way to connect with each other and with Hashem. We sing the psalms of King David, and we sing wordless melodies we call niggunim. We've developed our own styles of secular, non-liturgical music and dance: klezmer and canciones, the horah and the Yemenite step, and many, many more!

I love our scholarship. Our scholarly tradition is one of questioning and arguing, neither of which are viewed negatively in Jewish tradition! We love to ask ourselves "what if" and "why," and the point isn't so much finding a singular answer as it is the process of engaging with the text. Does it really matter as a real-world issue whether there are any Pokemon that would be kosher to eat? Of course not! But that's exactly the type of thing we love to argue over, and if the ancient rabbinic sages like Hillel and Akiva and Rashi and Maimonides were alive today, I guarantee you they would have opinions on the matter.

I love our joy. There is so much joy that comes with being Jewish, a joy we feel just for being alive against all odds. Most of our prayers are not asking Hashem for the things we want, but thanking Hashem for the things we have. We have a brachah we say specifically to thank Hashem for the opportunity to fix what is broken in this world. Our history has rarely been a happy one, but we have always found reasons to rejoice. We danced and sang and celebrated our holidays and life events even in the Warsaw Ghetto. This past December, during one of the saddest, heaviest, and scariest times for our people since the Shoah, Jews all over the world celebrated Chanukah like we always do. In the midst of our mourning, we found joy. Literally and figuratively, we came together as a tribe to create light in the darkness.

[no27-autonation-honda]

*gets hit with the f1 ask game beam*

tagged by both @oxygenpdf and @flyingcakeee!! Thanks <3

Who is your favorite driver?

I'm a new fan and I haven't begun properly my Summer Of Race Car Homework so it's all current drivers, but Alex Albon and Logan Sargeant are my faves.

Do you have any other favorite drivers?

I am new, and I honestly like a lot of them. My other faves are probably Zhou Guanyu (fascinated by that man), Yuki Tsunoda (fellow short king), and Oscar Piastri (April Aries Solidarity)

EDIT: FORGOT TO MENTION GEORGE RUSSELL, HAUNTED DOLL OF A MAN WHO I AM VERY INTRIGUED AND COMPELLED BY

Who is your least favorite driver?

I don't really have a least favorite! I don't really know anything about either driver for Haas I guess. So maybe them by default? My sister went to a robotics meet this year sponsored by Haas and decided she will root against them forever because of that meet tho. (this is possibly one of her funniest choices. she does not pay attention to motorsports at all, and only glances over my shoulder to ask how bad things are going for Haas)

Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?

I am definitely driver based, but I picked the Williams team (more on this later) because I managed to catch the portion of pre-season testing where Albon was in the commentary box doing his champagne bit and I like. immediately decided I was rooting for him and Williams by extension. But bc of how i engage with sports I definitely also like teams (sorta. race car homework will decide how much I do later maybe)

If you like teams, what team do you pull for?

Williams (Albon and Logan and then got hit with Lia Block in F1Academy. Lia Block I Would Kill For You) but also Sauber (I pick teams based on color frequently and that green matched my hair last year, and is my fave type of green)

If you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?

Please christ do not put me in any situation of leadership. Just make me be in charge of like. whatever fuckin weird challenges they make em do on grill the grid. That i would be okay at I think.

How long have you been in F1

Uhhhh....February this year? I was *aware* of it and had friends into it before, and I knew like Hamilton and Verstappen before this year, and I knew who Schumacher was (VAGUELY!) but uh yeah. New Entry. New As Hell Entry, Even.

What got you into F1?

This is actually very funny. A couple buddies of mine have joked that they were gonna get me into motorsports for AGES, because it is "the perfect sport for me" and our new year resolution was to begin that process with nascar, since its "my cultural heritage as a redneck." (this is DEEPLY true and I cannot deny my family ties to nascar, redneckery, and general car silliness) February rolls around and Hamilton to Ferrari gets announced and I, recognizing who Lewis Hamilton is and being deeply surprised by the tumblr news bulletin text my friends to check in on em.

Group response is, "JESUS CHRIST!"

The following response is something to the tune of: "We're changing it up actually. Gee, you love sketchy business practices, financial crime, adrenaline junkie tendencies, weird contract trivia, AND athletes who are weird as fuck, Gee. We're starting you with F1 instead. have fun, please enjoy white collar crime and car racing. we will give u homework when the semester's over" And they did.

So I started following blogs posting memes, binged a few seasons of dts and analyzed the editing bc im a reality tv scholar in my heart and also the editing in that show is FASCINATING TO ME, and started watching highlights and found ways to watch the races, and boy. its a lot of fun! I was really surprised how chatty everyone is/seems to be in the fandom (and in the sports fandoms I guess?) so that's definitely helped.

Do you enjoy fanfic/rpf?

I will read literally any kind of fanfiction if the AU pitch is wild enough and boy does athlete rpf give writers good stuff to work with. I'm a former fanfic editor/beta reader, if the concept compels me I am here for it. Also, I love enabling crazy aus (hi wiz! <3) even if im not an rpf writer myself.

How do you view new fans?

I *AM* a new fan! I try to be conscious of my relative newness, but I'm enthusiastic to be here and having fun. So. Hope that's working!

Are your friends and family into F1 as well?

No, but we're a nascar family and we used to always be on a little family trip to my grandparents' house during the same week as the Indy500, so growing up we'd all be very sunburned and therefore hiding out inside while that race was on, so I grew up watching the indy500 (very different from nascar but this is also my fams only interaction with indy). I'm working on getting into nascar for the family, and Indy just to be the family's indycar and f1 correspondent.

For the friends, I do have those friends into f1 and theyre all gems and some of the oddest people I've ever experienced (very much the lesbians/gays who watch all sports stereotype), however the Car Chatter has always gone over my head until this year, but ya know. you move away and get busy so keeping track of hobbies and sports is hard when you arent religiously blocking someone every time a rivalry match goes down lol

Are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?

Of course! I am a very extroverted and social person I love making friends <333

i'll be real i have no clue who has and hasnt been tagged yet so im just gonna throw some names out and hope at least one of yall hasnt gotten this notification already lmao and if u haven't been tagged yet but follow me and would like to answer questions, consider this me tagging u spiritually

@two-tyred-problems, @wisteriagoesvroom, @stockcarbaby24 and @kissingwalls

[penguinmerchant]

Return to Sender--failed attempt

Well, this did not turn out well. I'm deciding to post it anyway because the front cover is so pretty I can't stand it and I'm hoping that maybe if I detail what went wrong it will either help someone else or prevent me from making the same mistake again. So here she is, my first failed binding of the first fic I've ever done for my own stuff (and goddamn I hope that's not a metaphor for something)

Just look at her. Gorgeous. Inspiration taken directly from this version of a Shakespeare book that I found on Pinterest. I just loved the cutout text in gold, the triangle in the middle that seemed like an envelope. Perfect for an epistolary novel, right? And the boyfriend did the graphic design again this time, carrying his burden of knowing exactly how crappy these things are to weed, and made it so that weeding was a particularly easy process. Now, actually getting this stuff to stick---that still sucked. The black went down really easy but the gold took forever to stick down, and I'm not really sure why. It took 30 seconds for the black to stick and probably 6 different sets of 30 seconds for the gold, same heat and everything. If anyone has any insights into how to get this cricut vinyl to act better, I'd appreciate it forever.

(But god, look at it. It's so pretty).

The back.

The spine.

And now to the horrors, under the cut.

So I guess the textblock came out crooked, or maybe I cut it crooked. I don't know where the badness came from, but look at how these endsheets (the beautiful, beautiful endsheets) came out.

Look how far down the left side of the block sits, and how high the right is. And to get it like that, the bottom looks like this:

It's practically falling out of the case. Also these headbands suck. I keep using them because they're the only gold ones I have but they just shred themselves to pieces, I hate them.

It's so bad, you guys. I could not get this block to sit straight no matter what I did. And to make it even worse, I figured out the way that it fit in the least horribly, and made a mark on it and everything, and then promptly attached the cover to the wrong side. I don't think it would have mattered much, but it would have only been like 80% bad instead of 90%.

I think--If I'm guessing here--that I somehow pressed the spine out of whack during one of the glue applications. Because by the numbers--and I did measure this thing about ten thousand times--it should have been even. But I think the spine kicked out in a really funny way that made it so it wouldn't lay flat on the boards, and so when I tried to case it in the spine pushed on the crooked part and wonked out the whole thing. And what I should have done was 1) Make boards that fit the wonkiness, try to even it out a little (even if it would have made the book itself sit funny), or, better yet, 2) redo the textblock and try and fit it into the already made boards. But I didn't. I just forged ahead and now I'm going to have to make another one from scratch because this is my story and I can't have it looking like this, it feels like too much to take that disrespect and/or laziness.

But at least I won't have to set the text again. Look at it. I found different handwritten fonts for each character that I felt like expressed their personalities. Laurent's is tidy and clean but with a few little flourishes.

Damen's is a little looser, a little scribblier.

And then Auguste's is my favorite, it's curly and sweepy and completely over the top.

There's a few more, these were just the most prominent ones. And the whole of the actual text is italicized. I know it's kind of annoying to read but just regular text looked way too jarring against the handwritten flourishes at the beginning and end, and the handwritten fonts were impossible to read once there was more than like, six words. I even tried putting in a typewriter-esque font, but that did not look right either. The italicized font bridged the gap, I think, and it's not too annoying to read in context, honestly.

Ugh, I'm so disappointed, even though I'll probably try to display this somewhere because the cover is so pretty lol. I think the lesson I need to take away from this and remember is that I need to stop when I see a problem come up. I knew from the time that I cut the boards that this wasn't going to work right, and I still went ahead and did it anyway because I thought I could force it and I wanted it to be done. And now I've wasted my beautiful duo cloth, those gorgeous marbled endpapers, and I'm going to have to do this again. Patience is definitely not something I have in spades but I'm going to keep this as a testament to how important it is to take your time and make sure that things are right before continuing.

[sayhellotothedusk]

For Henry 🫁 only

The way I imagine the whole thing is admittedly simple

I've gotten home from an overnight shift, tired but very happy to be home and finally crawl into bed with you, just home in time to know you'll still be asleep if you had good luck staying asleep.

You can imagine my joy, double checking your text or walking in and seeing that little signal we agreed on for days like these, hoping against everything that you slept well and deeply for more then simply the love of you.

Imagine my joy, walking as quietly as I'm able in the front door, muffling it's click behind me and shedding work clothes as carefully as I can before I go to see if youre asleep. Imagine how excited I am, seeing you soundly asleep in the bed we share, sporting whatever we decide tells me exactly what you want to be woken up to.

Between aching joints and an aching heart my love, there's a part of me that aches far worse, and you just gave me the green light to soothe at least that ache so we can both rest easy.

It's all too exciting to be able to spread soft kisses across you, trying so hard to stay delicate enough not to wake you prematurely, a game testing just how featherlight I can be. Hearing your soft breaths against my skin, freezing at the slightest shifts, holding my breath till you seem to settle and leave me free to take handfuls of you for myself to admire.

I wish my words were more adequate in how long I'd love to take, but with the sun coming up I know I won't have forever, just long enough if I'm careful to give you a proper good morning.

Eventually I might not have the patience or fear running out of time, and so I wander lower for a taste of you, knowing you'll open up so easily if I move you gently enough. I'm free to admire you then, how the wetness of you glistens on my fingers, how good it feels to finally be able to touch you and the thrill of the risk I might wake you up too soon.

Listening to you get more breathy, little clipped sounds come through without a thought. I wonder if you truly process much about the moment, if your mind registers anything other than the feeling that touch causes, if you're any closer to feeling it with each finger that gets added, rubbing inside and out. Slowly, carefully, trying to stretch you open but by bit and not take too long, saying small blessings for the curtains that ward off the full brightness of morning light long enough to allow me this moment.

I know I'd be overeager, all too desperate to pull my fingers or tongue and lips from you (as devastating as it would be). How difficult it would be to sink in slowly enough not to wake you at first, starting to draw closer to being impossible to sleep through.

Those gorgeous broken little whines, high and fragile as glass in my ears, all too close to disturbing that hazy state of mind.

Whether you wake or not, you offer me an absolutely gorgeous sight, relaxed completely and utterly, my love, my sunshine. The way you stretch around the length of me, every gorgeous and undignified sounds you're simply too exhausted or unaware you're even making. You are absolutely perfect this way.

It can end one of two ways really, and both are equally exciting.

The first is that I happen to wake my pretty baby up just a little too early. Perhaps I was too hasty, too intensive too quickly, or maybe you simply rose from sleep faster then I could see through the game. I lost, but I would hardly call what follows a bad thing. Stirred awake to the feeling of being full, of being gently broken down. If you're awake, I have no reason to pretend I'm doing anything else, and I can add much louder things to my tools just to see you crumble, to watch you cum for me before you even have the thoughts enough to process words, to feel yourself be filled as deep as I can.

The second is that I win, I don't quite wake you too early, or whatever I do is simply not quite enough to fully raise you from the depths of sleep. I hope you're having a good dream baby, given the pretty sounds you keep making, the nonsense mumbling. I hope that even if you don't wake up, I get to watch you tense, feel you squeeze me tight and take every drop I have for you. When you wake at your true hour, dizzy with the remaining euphoria, still soaked and leaking what I left for you.

Either way, no matter when you wake up, it will be a lovely time for me to take care of my bedtime routine, after I can smother you in kisses and clean up after myself of course. A wonderful way to say good morning, and goodnight for my post shift bedtime with you beside me.

[stargazer-sims]

Focus on the Goal

Eden was fine driving home from the airport, or so he'd thought.

In the seconds after he finishes taking off his boots, hat and coat and steps into the kitchen to find Nikolai waiting there for him, he falls apart. Nikolai, who knows him so well that they often don't need words to communicate some things, holds his arms out to him. Eden runs straight to him and falls into his coach's familiar, comforting embrace.

"This one's too big for peppermints, isn't it?" Nikolai says softly against the side of his head.

Eden hardly ever cries. Typically, he has to be pushed to his limit before the tears come. So, maybe he's found a new emotional boundary; saying goodbye. First he'd bid farewell to Charlie, and then Haru, and in this moment all of it feels like too much. He gives up trying to hold anything back and weeps against Nikolai's shoulder.

He understands that he can still talk to Charlie and Haru on the phone or by text or video chat, but it's not the same as having them here. He already misses Charlie's presence in the house, and he knows it's going to be strange to sleep in their room by himself tonight. Before now, the longest they'd ever been apart was a week, usually when Eden travelled for a competition and Charlie had to stay behind because of school. One of his parents was always with him then, and of course Nikolai was always there. Their presence had helped ease the pang of each short separation.

Thank the Watcher for Nikolai. Eden would be desperate if he had to cope with the departure of both his brother and his boyfriend on his own.

Eden: Why does it hurt this much? I know they're coming back in a few weeks, so why does it feel like forever?

Nikolai: Things always feel worse when you're scared, but it'll be all right, I promise.

Eden: I'm an adult. I shouldn't be this scared to be away from my brother. Like, I should be rational about it.

Nikolai: If you haven't figured it out by now, emotions aren't really all that rational most of the time.

Eden: I guess.

Nikolai: It doesn't matter that you're an adult. It's totally fine to feel however you're feeling, regardless of that.

Eden: Was it this hard the first time you had to be away from your sister for a long time?

Nikolai: If you're asking whether or not I cried and if it felt like something was clawing a hole in my chest, then yes. The first time Natascha and I were apart, we were younger than you and Charlie are now. We were eighteen, and she was going off to college in another town, and I cried at the bus station before she even left. My father yelled at me for that.

Eden: That's awful! Why? My parents would never yell at me or Charlie or Sadie for crying.

Nikolai: Your parents are a lot different than mine. My father thinks men shouldn't show their emotions. Fortunately for me, my coach at the time was a different sort of guy.

Eden: You mean Uncle Stan?

Nikolai: Yeah. I love my father, but I learned what I know about taking care of other people from Uncle Stan and Beth-Anne, and from your parents too, actually.

Eden: I'm glad you had him back then. I'm glad I've got you.

Nikolai: It really is going to be okay, you know.

Eden: I know. I just have to convince myself, and right now I don't know if I can.

Nikolai: That's okay. You don't have to convince yourself right this minute. Give yourself time to process everything. How about some breakfast? And then we'll try to sort out what the rest of our day's going to look like.

Eden: Okay.

Nikolai: I think we should skip the gym today.

Eden: Really? What are we going to do instead?

Nikolai: Whatever you like.

Eden: Can we go for ice cream? Not the normal cone, but like, a big, fancy sundae or something. I know I shouldn't, but...

Nikolai: Just this once. I've heard ice cream is very good for heartache. Better than peppermints, even.

Eden: Maybe, but I like peppermints anyway. Are we still going to practice this afternoon?

Nikolai: Unless you're not feeling up to it.

Eden: No, I am. We might be able to skip the gym, but I'm not skipping my ice time for anything.

Nikolai: Good. That's what I was hoping you’d say, because you know what’s even better than ice cream for making you feel better?

Eden: Having a goal to focus on.

Nikolai: Exactly.

Eden: Charlie and Haru are both going to be there at our next competition to watch the free skate.

Nikolai: Yes, and Anya too. So, let's focus our energy on putting on a great show for them, okay? You'll see, if we keep busy, it'll seem like they'll all be back in no time.

[bontenten]

Sleeping Beauty

Pairing: Shirabu x f!reader WC: 5.6k Genre/Warnings: smut, fairy tale retelling, incest, dubcon/noncon, drugs (sleeping pill), somnophilia, abusive past relationship, implied rape (not Shirabu), panic attack, victim-blaming, hero-complex with a bit of god-complex, hints of yandere, uhh medical malpractice, Shirabu’s bangs

Summary: The real story of Sleeping Beauty is anything but beautiful. Shirabu will do everything he can to keep you in a safe haven where you can freely dance with your prince once upon a dream.

A/N: This is a part of the whorehouse intoxicated collaboration, rest of the pieces of this toxic journey can be found here! Thank you Ria and Angel for helping beta <3 Love you both so much.

Unofficial bgm: Once Upon a Dream & Once Upon a December 

"You'll never wash me from you," he sneers, pulling you back by a handful of hair. You feel a blanket of pain shoot across your scalp. "You'll never really get away. Time to wake the fuck up."

"G-get away from me!" 

You thrash and kick your legs wildly hoping something will land. The moment you hear a pained grunt and feel his grip loosen, you scramble up to your feet and run. Your shoes grate against wet cement as you take off. Your heartbeat pounds in your ears as you will your legs forward one after another. The caw of birds seem to act as a beacon leading you through the twists and turns of the terrain.

A left turn here, two blocks straight. Past the corner store and beyond the stoplight. Three blocks. Right turn. Two Blocks. Five steps away. Four...Three..Two...Safety...

----

"In the forest, the princess played with a lot of animal friends. She grew up there in the cottage with three fairies looking after her."

Thunder claps and lightning strikes outside.

"It's so loud Kenjirou-nii!" you cry, burying yourself into Shirabu's arms.

"Shh, I'm here," Shirabu coos, rocking you back and forth until your sobs subside. "One day, the princess was singing with the songbirds..."

Shirabu begins to recount the fairytale of Sleeping Beauty to you, slowly easing your mind away from the turbulence outside.

"Do you think you can sleep now?"

You shake your head and jump again when the thunder claps over the roof of the house.

"It's okay, I'm right here. Big brother’s always going to protect you."

"Like the prince protecting the princess?"

"Yes, exactly. You're always my princess, now go to sleep. I'll wake you when the sun's up.”

After a while, you calm down and slowly drift into sleep with your breaths evening out. Shirabu pulls the covers over both of you and enters sleep as well.

The winds continued to howl outside the window...the branches tapping...tapping against the window...tap...tapping…

----

Shirabu Kenjirou opens his eyes. He had just fallen asleep while studying for the third time that night. There is no use staying at the library if he is going to treat it as a hotel; he’ll be better off going home first. He yawns and stretches his neck, then packs his bags to return to his apartment. There are few students left in the building at this ungodly hour. Dark clouds loom overhead and the air is filled with the pitter patter of autumn rain hitting cement. Shirabu zips up his coat, opens his umbrella, and walks into the dark.

You would have been so frightened by this sort of weather, whimpering under your blankets, counting sheep with shaky breaths. Just like how you did in that dream of his earlier.

While growing up, Shirabu hadn't cared all that much about anything else considering he spent most of his time with his studies or playing volleyball. Although there was you, his little sister, he figured you had your little bubble anyway. But on a stormy night, you teetered down the hall after finding your parent’s room locked. Afraid and sleepy, you looked for comfort elsewhere and arrived at Shirabu’s room.

Shirabu had been most irritated and decided to shoo you out with strings of curses and profanities, but he couldn’t. The sight of your form huddled right outside his bedroom, with young eyes pleading for him took hold of a bit of humanity in Shirabu’s heart. So, he let you into his room, a safe haven, and eventually a world that was composed of only the two of you against the rest of the world.

Shirabu has known for a long time that you are the most brilliant, precious, and purest thing he’ll ever encounter. Always perfect. Forever unsullied. 

There are many things that Shirabu wants to shield you from. If he can secure one more hour of innocence, one more day, one lifetime, he’ll do so without a moment of hesitation. The real world is unlike the fairy tales that you hear about while growing up. 

The real story of Sleeping Beauty is anything but beautiful. There isn’t a handsome prince the princess meets in a forest. No color changing cake. No kiss of love. In the real story, the princess is put into an endless slumber and has her virginal body taken by some unknown beast of a king, used like a rag for his carnal pleasure. When he leaves, the sleeping girl is then forgotten like trampled daisies under the hooves of horses. And she will wake to find her womb bulged with bastard life as a result of the damnation. The stretches clawing around the navel as permanent reminders that nothing will wash him from her.

The real world is dark. Horrible. Wretched. Dirty. Filled with suffering. That is why he, Shirabu Kenjirou, responds to the call to action and enters a life of service. In his heart he yearns to save and help, even if just a little, by becoming a prince with a white coat. He will not give up trying to salvage pieces of humanity he’ll touch, and in the process, carve out a haven, a little forest with a cottage, for his dearest sister to safely live in.

It has been a while since he last heard from you. Partly his own fault, really. Ever since Shirabu entered university and then medical school, the number of times you two would meet up dwindled. The hours on the phone became texts and soon after, communication vanished into mostly silence.

You are in university now, grown up and stepping into the real world, but that doesn't mean you are no longer his little sister. And because you are the one and only, Shirabu feels that he should try to do a better job as an older brother and check-in with you to see how you are doing. So, Shirabu takes out his phone that’s still on silent after studying.

27 missed calls from Sister 

Shirabu pauses in his tracks and returns the call. Cars zoom by on the streets while he waits for the line to connect. 

He was right, you must have been frightened.

The first call doesn’t connect, so Shirabu immediately tries the second time. You pick up on the third attempt.

"It's me, I'm so sorry I didn't pick up earlier."

"K-Kenjirou-nii..." your voice weakly translates over the speaker. 

Shirabu presses the phone closer to his ear and turns up the volume. "Where are you now," he demands. "At school?"

"...Your place..." Your voice sounds so dangerously faded, like petals beaten to the ground from the rain.

Shirabu bolts. His apartment is just a couple blocks away. Around the corner just up ahead. Shirabu makes a sharp turn and splashes through a puddle. 

"Stay...on the phone with me," he urges, paying no mind to his soaked shoes and socks.

You nod in understanding, as if he’ll hear your action.

"I'm almost there okay, almost."

Shirabu isn’t lying. A few moments later you hear the frantic footsteps coming closer to you. The stomping noises make your skin crawl, but the familiar face of your brother melts those fears away. He appears with his wet bangs stuck to his face and his shoulders heaving up and down. It’s him, your niichan, your prince finally here.

You scramble up and dive into his open arms, in relief that you are safe at last, as you finally allow tears to mix with rain.

"I was so scared. I missed you so much, Kenjirou-niichan," you sob into Shirabu's wet coat. "Where were you, where were you?"

"I'm sorry. I'm here now, I'm sorry," Shirabu apologizes, "Let's go inside first, alright? We’re both drenched.”

----

Under the bright lights of the living room, Shirabu gets a better look at you. You catch his discerning eyes studying you up and down, visually tracing the markers of your demise. That’s when you crack.

“Kenjirou-nii...the real world, the world is a horrible place. I trusted him, you know? I trusted that man.”

Foolish and stupid, Shirabu wants to say. It’ll be easy to simply yell at you.

Shirabu is not someone without a temper. He was quite known for it back in his high-school days. The bruises, the scars that did not heal well. Shirabu reminds himself to keep his composure, especially in front of you. He’s to be a doctor. He’s to be a protector, a savior. And with the training he already has so far, Shirabu knows he’s already as good as any board certified, licensed white-robed saint. He just needs to do what he’s meant to do. Heal. Clean. Purify.

After listening to your brief tale, Shirabu tells you not to worry about anything else tonight other than take a hot shower and get some rest. He gives you a reassuring smile and sends you off to the bathroom with towels and a large t-shirt.

While you wash-up and lose your thoughts piecing together the messy events of the night, Shirabu paces in the living room after he changes his own wet clothes. Nevermind the medical books he still needs to pour over, all Shirabu wants to do right now is track down the culprit and stick a scalpel through his socket. No, that’s just too easy. That bastard deserves something much more horrible, a slow and patient torture, a death within grasp but just out of reach. As if agreeing with Shirabu’s thoughts, your phone on the coffee table lights up. Shirabu picks up the device and watches the notifications pop-up.

Shirabu sees an unknown number call you. He doesn’t pick up, letting the phone ring while he reads the numbers across the screen and commits them to memory. The phone calls stop and an onslaught of texts follow; some coherent and others far from decipherable. There are messages of broken apologies and confessions of persistent love. Requests for you to go back to him. Shirabu scoffs at the language.

Shirabu continues to wait with impassive eyes, but the tight death grip around the device gives away the boiling rage beneath his skin. How dare the man behind that accursed number treat you, his little sister and princess, in such a foul manner. This beast who stole from you. Who is the reason behind the tainting of your now sullied innocence. 

Finally after a few minutes of silence, the screen lights up with a series of curses and condemnation that show the man’s true colors. A morphed beast due to your lack of response. Shirabu scrolls through the list of notifications again with impassive eyes, but the tight death grip around the device gives away the boiling rage beneath his skin. 

"You will pay," Shirabu seethes, taking a knife from the kitchen and ramming the sharp end straight into the device glass. The phone buzzes desperately and goes dark. You have no use for that phone anymore after all of this anyway, and the cursed number is already memorized by Shirabu for his own purposes.

----

Shirabu’s room is tidy. The two bookshelves on either side of the table are filled with books, photos, and many other accolades. That’s your older brother alright: perfect, proper, always right. Always right about everything, except one thing. The world you know really isn’t the wonderland he told you about growing up. Not at all. 

You bury your face into Shirabu's pillows and will yourself to sleep. You are safe here in his bed. It’s a haven...safely tucked in a forest. You are in a forest. The trees and the breeze. Songbirds are singing. 

You can dance here, twirl about...safe...free…

The trees melt.

Birds squawk and screech, scampering away…

Ink engulfs you....swallowing you whole

Falling...falling…

"You'll never wash me from you," he sneers. "You'll never really get away. Time to wake the fuck up."

NO! you try to scream. You can’t, the weight on your chest sinks you deeper, only silence is uttered...choked…

Wake up.

Wake up.

"Wake up!"

Your eyes fly open and you see him. Him. A blood curdling shriek finally tears through your throat and you thrash. "Getawaygetawaygetaway! NO!"

"It's me, hey, it's me. You're okay, you're safe." Shirabu’s eyes widen with worry at your outburst, but gives you ample space to breathe and compose yourself.

This familiar voice. It does not belong to him. It’s definitely not him.

"...Kenjirou-nii?" you ask quietly. The shadow is backlit from light coming in through the door and your vision is still fuzzy from the nightmare.

A tender hand closes around yours. "Shhh, it's okay, you're okay now. It was a bad dream, you're safe. You're safe. I'm here."

Cold sweat runs down your temples. Your breath is fast and shallow.

"Follow me, okay. Breathe in..." Shirabu takes a deep breath. You follow his voice and movement as if they are lanterns guiding you through a maze. "And breathe out. Good, you're doing great. Breathe in...and out..."

You feel your mind slowly beginning to clear with each inhale and exhale. Finally, you see Shirabu clearly again. You can smell the scent of his body wash from him. The texture of the blanket rubs against your fingertips. You’re here in Shirabu’s room. Safety. Haven. 

"I'll be right back," Shirabu tells you, before leaving you for a moment and going towards the bathroom. He opens the medicine cabinet, pops out a few white pills from a box.

"Here," he says holding out the small tablets in the middle of his palm. The off-white seems to almost glow in the dark.

"It's zolpidem, a sleeping pill I sometimes take for insomnia. It'll help you for tonight, and then we'll get you something else tomorrow that'll work better."

You look at the pill and then at Shirabu. Shirabu is someone you love and trust with all your heart. His embrace is your anchor and haven when the rest of the world has turned a blind eye. He’s your brother. One and only. There’s no reason not to trust him.

"I won't see him will I?"

"No," Shirabu affirms. The pills don't really manipulate dreams, but if reassuring you can placebo sweet dreams, then what harm really is there? He didn’t pass Ethics with top marks for nothing.

Shirabu gently presses the pill body against your lips and you part them, allowing the small object to slip through. He feeds another and you open your mouth obediently. You look at Shirabu’s eyes which are fixated on the way your lips wrap around his three fingers.  Kenjirou-nii’s lashes are so nice and pretty, you think. 

One gulp of water later, and you feel nothing but a cold sensation traveling down your throat and disappearing into your belly.

"It'll take about half an hour, I'll stay with you until you fall asleep," Shirabu says. He supports your back and gently lowers you back into the comforts of the plush mattress. Shirabu will surely carry the same attentiveness and care when he becomes a full-fledged doctor. You are sure of it. The big brother you grew up with has truly grown up and matured. But no matter how much he changes or how much you mess up, he’ll always be your big brother.

"Can you lie down next to me again, like when we were young?"

An innocent request from a patient-in-need. Shirabu complies and lies down next to you.

"I remember when we were young, I would make you dance with me to live out my princess dreams. You remember?”

Afternoons next to the stereo, crayons scattered on the floor. The smell of something baking in the kitchen. Shrieks and laughter in the living room. Even though Shirabu would be mildly annoyed at first, he found humoring your imagination to be a pleasant and soothing experience. Even he was sometimes whisked away from textbooks into a magical forest that was just you and him. The stress and burdens of everything else all seem so much lighter on his shoulders when you’re simply just there.

"Of course I remember, silly."

You hum softly and continue waiting for the medicine in your bloodstream to make its way through your body.

"Do you...remember the sleeping beauty story you would always tell me?"

"Yea?"

You pause for a moment before quietly asking, "Kenjirou-niichan, why did you lie to me?"

Shirabu does not respond and only glances over at you, eyeing your closed lids. Closed though they may be, the tiny beads of glimmering tears are beginning to emerge from between the lashes and trail down your cheeks.

"There is no prince, Kenjirou-nii...no prince for me, no one...niichan...," you mumble between your breaths. The drug is starting to take its effect, ushering your mind into another dimension far away from hurt and pain. It swallows you like a pit of ink, sinking you deeper and deeper...

----

Kenjirou-nii, why did you lie? Earlier, Shirabu felt his breath hitch when you asked that. 

He calls out your name softly, brushing over your cheeks, and listening to your soft breathing for a good while to make sure you are in fact asleep. At long last, maybe this is a good dream.

A lie? No! Not a lie, Shirabu wants to tell you. For you, his dearest sister, who only ever deserves happiness, in the rawest and truest form. You are supposed to have a life of others giving gifts of love, never having to offer anything of your own.

Shirabu feels his blood boil once more at the thought of that man who stole your innocence away. The one who took your body for his own carnal pleasures. The one who dared to steal you from him, Shirabu Kenjirou. If Shirabu's nails are not kept in immaculate condition for his profession, no doubt, his grip would be drawing blood from his palms.

Those marks and scars across your skin. Shirabu traces his finger down your neckline and along your arms...

Your head turns from left to right and you manage to shrug the big collar of the t-shirt off your shoulder. Shirabu can see, under the glow of moonlight from the cleared night sky, a nasty mark. A permanent mark. And before he realizes it, his fingers are already traveling over, tracing along and testing out the patterns and bumps.

Shirabu feels his chest burn beyond the anger and fury. Guilt. Where was he all this time when you were suffering? Why hadn't you just called him then? Anguishing thoughts of his little sister writhing in pain under that beast's grasps tear Shirabu apart. Did you cry? Were you scared? All these years studying for what? For what noble purpose is Shirabu trying to pursue if he can’t even save those closest to him?

Shirabu continues to search for any other marks or discolorations that are splayed across your skin like a map. It is what it is now. But Shirabu still has his calling. He is a man who answers to a life of service and healing: a prince in a white coat. No matter what happens, even if you’re tainted now, you’ll still be his little sister.

Even if your naivety and stupidity got you into the mess in the first place. Of course, why didn’t you listen to your brother’s warnings and stay in a safe haven like a good girl? Stay in your room and study for your future like a good student? Like him? Why did you think running off for fun, enjoying “youth and freedom” like the other degenerates would be a good idea?

Shirabu grits his teeth. Look at you now, damaged and past the point of no return, used. Injured and ill. Still, he needs to get the full story first, and see where else you might possibly be hurt. A complete diagnosis needs to come first. After the messages from the man, Shirabu is all the more certain that there are more clues left, and he needs evidence. He needs to know. The comforter is pulled away and careful hands examine the lines of your palms.

Once upon a time, you grabbed Shirabu’s hand and tried to use the methods of schoolyard palm-reading on him. You even exclaimed, “Kenjirou-niichan, this line means you’ll live a long life! And we can be together forever because my life line is really long too!”

Shirabu smiles at the memory and presses a kiss to the center of your palm. It must have been so painful, how could you have possibly endured? But you did and you survived. You are so brave. 

Probing fingertips trace across your collarbone and push the fabric of the large t-shirt up to reveal your torso. Shirabu blinks, realizing that this is now the body of a fully matured woman. You take a deep breath in your sleep from the cold air running across your exposed breasts. Shirabu can see the nipples perk up from the chill and hesitantly touches the bud with a hint of academic curiosity.

“Mmm, that tickles...” you giggle softly. Your hand pushes Shirabu's off and scratches the same spot he just traced, fondling your own breast briefly before letting go and continuing to sleep. Even grown up now, still the same adorable little sister.

Shirabu lets himself tease your nipples and knead the soft flesh of your breasts, toying around and watching your cute little expressions. Sometimes you’ll respond again and paw the tickling hands away. It’s fun, like playing a little game.

But when he lets his eyes wander down, Shirabu’s eyes narrow. Below the breasts, on either side of the waist, Shirabu sees damning marks of deep purple turning into a disgusting yellow. Like cursed claw marks. Shirabu hesitantly presses on the bruise, watching the color transform under his touch. He stops immediately when you begin to whine in pain. Carefully, Shirabu presses a kiss on these markings too, just like any other little injury you sustained in the past. A kiss so the pain flies away.

Foolish, foolish girl. Naive princess. Why did you let this happen to yourself? In the future, don’t run anymore. Stay here where it’s safe. 

There is just one place left Shirabu did not examine yet, a hidden spot that is supposed to be locked away that someone else discovered. Shirabu looks down at the dark lace panties obstructing his view like gates of a castle. It’s a poor “keep out” message; if anything it entices anyone who sees it to come in. A tempting invitation to see what’s behind.

Shirabu allows his clean fingers to easily slip through and begin a thorough investigation through the soft folds of flesh. His fingertips dip into a pool of wetness. He furrows his brows. When did this happen? 

Why are you wet? His eyes focus on your sleeping face that still has a relaxed smile. What are you dreaming about that makes your body like this? Shirabu drags the fingers covered with your slick to circle your clit. In response your thighs clamp and twitch. So sensitive, still inexperienced, even if you’re sullied. 

Shirabu slides the soaked panties off and pushes your thighs apart so he can continue his examination. That person must have touched this area too, his fingers have been here, and then…plunged his fingers into you like so. Your body trembles as Shirabu’s two fingers probe in, fully examining your inner anatomy. Soft, warm muscles clamp tightly around his digits and try to stop them from entering further. It’s for your good and his knowledge. He pushes deeper into you, dragging alongside the bumps and ridges of your walls.

You whine loudly and arch your back when Shirabu’s fingers find a sweet spot. Your head shifts on the fluffy pillows.

“Did you like that? Did that feel good?” Shirabu asks, probing your hole once more. As if in agreement, your body twitches again and your hips automatically roll against the palm, pressing your sensitive clit into the surface. Your breathy sighs are soft and sweet, unlike any other sound Shirabu has heard from you. It’s like a spell that enchants Shirabu and beckons for him. He shudders as he feels his cock responding to each noise coming out from between your lips.

It’s good, something feels so good. Under the sunlight, you feel warmth pooling throughout your body. There are tingles in the soles of your feet, like grass tickling skin while running around barefoot. Your body feels so light and relaxed. It’s warm and you’re not in this forest alone. The shape of a prince appears. You know he’s a prince because his voice is gentle and his touch feels safe.

If this feels good, it’s only because this is an act of love. If this makes you happy, it’s because it’s love. If it’s love, it’ll fill the empty pools of hurt. And if you’ll be whole again, you’ll heal. Shirabu makes up his mind and caresses your cheeks tenderly, So beautiful. Always beautiful. A sleeping beauty. His hand reaches to the waistband of his pants.

The prince rests his hand on your hips and excitement jolts through your body. You wrap your arms around his neck and smile back.

Shirabu freezes the moment he feels your arms wave into the air and reach for him. The sneaky fingers run across his skin.

"Dance..with me," you slur before falling back into silence.

The alarm washes away when he confirms you are still sound asleep.

"Are you dreaming of your prince?" Shirabu asks while tearing open a condom packet. Medical safety. He should have worn gloves earlier too, if he wasn’t already too entranced. "Dancing? Then I'll dance with you."

Forever. I'll be your prince, my sweet darling.

Shirabu runs the length of his hardened cock along your glistening slit. Rather than take, rather than pillage and steal...Shirabu will give. Replace the gross markers of pain with soft fleeting kisses. Replace the innocence stolen with love given unconditionally. Shirabu will give you all the love you deserve and more.

Shirabu’s fingers weave into your delicate ones, the palms join together, and your fingertips automatically lock with your niichan’s. It’s the starting position for a waltz in the forest, once upon a dream.

The man takes the initiation, the leading step. Shirabu closes the gap, sinking his length into your sweet embrace in a fluid and wet squelch. You respond, digging your nails and tightening your grip on his hands. Your other arm hugs around your partner, your niichan, pulling his body close against yours. Your blank eyes flutter open briefly to look straight at the shadow of Shirabu. Of course, you don’t see anything, you’re actually in a warm forest shyly gazing at your prince. Shirabu almost thinks that he woke you up, but you only let out a quiet moan before your body relaxes again.  

Shirabu groans and rests his cock in your warm and tight embrace. This is the way it should be, how it ought to be done. No one else can lead you in this dance the way he can. The way he will. This is not the self-fulfilling king stealing the princess’s virginal body for his own pleasure. This is the loving prince who loves and gives selflessly. Your big brother knows you the best, knows how you’ll respond, knows how you’ll like it. Shirabu slowly draws himself out and thrusts back in.

The prince presses himself so close to you, and you inhale sharply. During the waltz, you always have to maintain body contact with your partner. You feel his breath on your cheeks, and you’re sure he can feel your hammering heartbeat. The intimacy builds in the tender but secure hold. The steps are quick but the movements are not violent. It’s just enough that the heat stirring in your core spreads throughout your body.

Breaths become more labored and raspy into the act. Shirabu sees your face morph into bliss as he continues his pace and rocks his hips into you. His own brows furrow as Shirabu feels his grip over rationality falling apart with each thrust. Each flutter of your walls against him only invites him to come in deeper, farther. Harder. 

“...K-Kenjirou-nii...,” you softly cry out.

Your honeyed voice is a thick syrup trapping Shirabu, coaxing him. It’s like a melody inviting a weary traveler, a lost prince, in for rest. Your voice, your body, it’s tantalizing.

"Too good," Shirabu groans to himself. Why is it so good? You, his little sister, how? He looks down towards where he sees his cock, covered with your fluids, disappear into you. The thin latex barrier doesn’t stop how close the two of you are, Shirabu feels each clench and spasm around him. “My little sister, I didn’t know…” 

Shirabu can now understand just why that man did all that to you. Why that man wants to keep you by his side. Why he incessantly sends messages and tries to manipulate you back into their world.

It’s the only explanation, really, when you don’t even know how bewitching your body is. How enticing your voice is. Anyone would want to keep it as their own. Your warmth, your sweet, sweet hole. This cunt of yours is itself a safe haven. And Shirabu feels like he’s the one being made whole from you. It’s all because of you.

Each moan from you. Those gentle mewling cries, a witch’s spell, an incantation for addiction. That man is trying to manipulate you? How? When your whole existence manipulates everyone first, drawing them all in with the image of your unsullied purity.

Shirabu feels his impending release around the edge. His pace quickens and his thrusts meet with each of your twisting squirms. Your head tosses side-to-side on the pillow as your sleepy climax washes through.

Spin. Faster and faster in the forested ballroom. Twirl for the finale. You feel a dizzying jolt as the prince dips your body back. It’s a whirlwind of love. In your dream, the sunshine is so warm and growing so much hotter. It feels like you’re floating. So light and free. That prickling tickle in your feet is growing stronger until little fireworks set off across every corner of your body, filling you completely. The forest melts as the colors blend together in a dreamy painting. 

Euphoria, as Shirabu finishes spectacularly, clutching your sleeping body close to him in a messy ending pose. The final winds of the dead storm outside sound like a rumbling applause for this sinful waltz. He can hear his own pants and your shaky breaths mix into a fading duet. Shirabu lets himself bask for a moment, resting, entangled with you.

Everything makes sense now. He completely understands why the bastard king forces himself onto Sleeping Beauty. He completely understands why your allure is much too exquisite to pass on. Shirabu pulls out and carefully removes the condom, collecting the white essence you bewitched out from him into a little package with a tie. Dangerous little princess, that you are.

Even though Shirabu now fully understands the complete story after careful examination, there are still a few lines Shirabu will draw. One, that man has still committed a very grave sin, being the first to sample your purity, stealing that away from Shirabu? Damaging your flesh and skin? Unacceptable, he thinks as he tosses the used condom into the waste bin. A complete low-life who doesn’t know how to cherish. Punishment will be due.

Shirabu returns to the bed where your unconscious body is still sprawled between bunched sheets. His blank eyes study your spread legs and puffy cunt that’s still quivering every now and then. He taps his index finger against your sensitive clit. As if it is a magic button, your body briefly trembles on command. As if you are ready to enchant another unsuspecting traveler into your safe little haven. A little bit of fluid leaks out from your hole, presenting itself seductively. Welcome. 

Shirabu scoffs. And number two, you’ll be better off staying here with himself, your big brother. You’ll be safe here with a prince who knows best how to love you right, and give you the world. This is the way it should be; before you completely lose yourself into degeneracy and invite just about anyone into you. 

Those sleeping pills will be insufficient for the long-run. A different concoction while you are still healing from your terrible trauma will be needed. A cocktail of sorts that will target different needs. Yes. Shirabu files that thought away, putting it towards the top of his to-do list. There’s so many things he has to take care of. Too much pain in this world waiting for him to don white robes and be out there.

“But you’ll always come first on niichan’s list,” Shirabu whispers, slipping your panties back on and pulling the comforters over your body. He’ll never allow you to be sullied again. You’ll stay here in this safe haven, like a little cottage tucked away in the forest. Dream here. Find happiness with the only prince you need.

The first rays of dawn begin to brighten the sky, shooing away the cloak of night. The first songs from the birds announce the arrival of a new day. The morning light filters through the windows of the room, spilling over onto the bed and your quiet, unmoving form.

Time to wake up now, sleeping beauty.

[libraryofloveletters]

Brothers

In which, Luke develops feelings for Matt’s little sister. 

Luke Alvez x Reader, Brother!Matt Simmons x Reader

Warnings: fem!reader, sibling banter, cm level of case details/violence, mentions of death, guns and gunshots, lots of pining, mentions of pregnancy and birth, kissing.

Category: fluff with a little bit of angst 

Word Count: 3.5k

Author’s Note: combined this request and this request to come up with this :) 

-----

The phone rang at what felt like quite literally the crack of dawn. “What?” you groaned when you picked up. “Where are you?” your brother’s voice filled your ear from the other side of the phone. 

“In bed, where else would I be at..” you pulled the phone away from your ear to check the time “5:56 in the morning?” 

Matt chuckled, “do you know a girl named Jenna Parker?” he asked. 

“I do, why ? Oh god, you're not cheating on Kristy right ? I swear if you’re calling to lie for you Matthew, I'll-” he cut you off.

“Shut up y/n and what did I tell you about calling me Matthew? I’m not cheating on Kristy you idiot, Jenna was killed last night” you sat up in bed, “What ? I saw her at dinner last night” 

“Stay where you are and get dressed. Agents will be at the hotel to collect your team for questioning” he told you. 

“Matt I had nothing to do with this, you know that right ?” 

“I know, standard procedure. I’ll see you later” he hung up. 

You dragged yourself out of bed and got dressed. Jenna’s face kept reappearing in your thoughts, she had only joined your team recently and she was an absolute sweetheart. She was telling you how excited she was to join the team last night at dinner. 

A knock on the door broke your thoughts, you unlocked it assuming that your brother had come to get you. 

This was most definitely not your brother. 

The man at your door had dark brown hair and tan skin.Something about his eyes made you want to stare into them forever, they were a soft brown mocha colour. He had a piece of paper in his hand, his finger ran across the page, “are you.. y/n?” he asked you 

“I am and you are?” 

“Agent Luke Alvez, I’m with the BAU. I’m here to pick you up for questioning” 

“Oh yeah, get me one second” you turned around and headed back into your room, Luke followed you in. “Ever heard of privacy ?” you picked up your phone and a sweater. “Oh sorry, I can’t let you in here by yourself until we processed you” he explained to you. “Lovely” you pulled on your sweater, he motioned for you to head out of the room. 

You stepped out first, he shut your door as the two of you walked down the hallway. “Your last name is Simmons ?” he looked over at you as you got on the elevator. “Mhm hm” you pulled your phone out to text your brother. 

To Matt: On my way now. Your friend is weird. 

From Matt: Who’s my friend ?

To Matt: Handsome guy with the pretty brown eyes, think his name is Luke 

From Matt: stop objectifying my friends, I'll see you soon. 

Luke didn't say anything else to you, the drive to the station was quiet except for you conducting your own little interrogation. 

“How long have you worked for the BAU ?” you looked out the window, 

“About 2 years now. How long have you been swimming ?” he rebutted. 

“My whole life” 

It did occur to Luke that you might be Matt’s little sister. He knew how proud Matt was of you and your swimming career, he also knew that Matt was supposed to see you this weekend while you were in D.C for training. After all, the sweater did say Simmons on the back, it couldn’t be a coincidence. 

Luke walked you into the station, the rest of your team was already there. “Hi, you must be y/n” a tall woman came up to you, she had short brown hair and she looked remarkably good considering how early it was.

“That would be me” you smiled at her, “you are?” she stuck her hand out for you, “Dr. Tara Lewis with the BAU” you shook her hand. 

“Nice to meet you Dr. Lewis” “You too”  

Tara excuses herself from you, Luke walks you over to a waiting area. All the girls were separated for obvious reasons but with nothing else to do, you figured you’d irritate Luke. 

“Why can’t I see the rest of my team?”

“Standard procedure” 

“And what is this standard procedure ?” 

“It’s-” “Stop harassing him y/n” your brother said as he walked into the room. 

You stood up and gave him a hug. It had been so long since you last saw your brother. 

“Hey you” he gave you a good squeeze, “hey” you smiled at him. 

Matt led you to a room and you took a seat at the table. “I can’t do your questioning because I'm your brother but I'm leaving you in good hands” Luke and Tara walked in a few moments after. “You’re leaving me with pretty eyes over here ? I might just get distracted and forget what he asked” you chuckle, Luke looks away but you manage to catch the blush you comment caused. 

“Behave y/n, I'll be back later” Matt kissed the top of your head before walking out. 

Luke and Tara sit across from you. “How did you meet Jenna ?” Tara asked you, “she was on my swim team, she joined a few months ago” 

“Were the two of you close ?”

“Not really, we didn't hang outside of practice but we got along” 

“Is there anyone that would have a reason to hurt Jenna ?” Luke asked this time. 

You paused, something Jenna had said to another one of the girls cause caught your attention a while back. “Not that I know of but apparently someone had broken into her apartment a while back. She was telling one of the other girls and I heard them. She moved from there though” 

“Do you have the address ? I’ll have Garcia check if she filed a report” 

“47 Park Street, not sure what unit was hers” you drummed your fingers against the table. Tara’s phone rang and she excused herself before stepping out of the interrogation room. Luke was also on the phone but he stayed in the room, you took a moment to really look at him. He wore a black button up that fit him far too well for your liking, his hair was messy but not like he had just rolled out of bed, more like his hands had been through it a few times. His tongue ran across his lips while he talked on his phone. Luke's hands rested on the table, he spun the pen on the table around a few times before getting off the call. 

God were his hands pretty, the things you’d let him do to you with those hands

“Y/n ?” Luke’s voice broke your thoughts. 

“Hm?” 

“Do you know if Jenna was seeing anyone ? A boyfriend maybe ?”

“Um no boyfriend but she was seeing a girl she met through our coach” 

“Oh okay, do you know her name ?” 

“Erica, uh her last name started with a G ? I’m not really sure” 

“That’s fine, thank you. I’ll be back” was all he said before stepping out of the room. You watched as he walked out, he stood by the window talking to some skinny guy. 

Your definition of the perfect man was Luke and everything he seemed to be, but you doubted that anything could happen between the two of you. He seems to be ignoring your glances and your flirty remarks all morning. Matt was the other issue, never would he ever let you date anyone on his team, let alone one of his close friends. 

--

“Alvez!” Tara shouts as she meets him up by the suv “Hey, need a ride ? I'm headed to the crime scene” he asks her, she nods before getting in the car. The drive was quiet, Tara kept glancing over at Luke and snickering. 

“Okay c’mon, what is it ?” 

“Nothing” 

“You keep looking at me funny, what happened ? something on my face?” Luke runs his hand over his face, Tara shakes her head. 

“Tara, what is it ?” 

“Luke, you’ve got a crush on Simmons” she laughs. 

“Matt ? I don't have a crush on Matt”

“No you idiot, y/n. You have a crush on y/n” 

“What? No I don't” 

Okay maybe Luke did have a tiny crush on her but Matt would never approve of him dating his little sister and he wouldn't let a crush affect his work life. 

“Alvez, don’t act stupid. I know I wasn't the only one noticing the glances between you two, I saw them since the two of you came in this morning. And that ‘pretty eyes’ comment ? she totally made you blush” Tara chuckled, “she’s into you dude, and you’re into her” 

“She’s Matt’s sister Tara, I’m not gonna do that” 

“So what if she’s Matt’s sister? She’s her own person. Matt doesn’t control her Luke.” 

Luke just hummed, Tara did have a valid point. Y/n was a grown up, she can make her own decisions. So what if Matt was mad at them ? 

God Alvez, what are you thinking ? That’s his sister, you couldn’t do that to him. 

Luke pulled into the hotel parking lot. He followed Tara inside but he wasn’t paying attention. He was there but he wasn't really there, his mind kept wandering back to y/n. 

Oh how he envied Spencer in that moment, he knew that he wouldn't remember how y/n looked exactly when he first met her but he’d keep that memory for as long as he could remember it. Her shuffling feet, her messy hair and her sleep laced voice, she seemed like an angel on earth to him. 

---

“Kid?” an older man shook your shoulder gently. “Hm, what is it ?” you stretched, you must have fallen asleep after Luke left. “you can leave, maybe get some rest when you get back to the hotel” the man chuckled, and you smiled at him. 

“Thank you,” you looked at his badge, “Agent Rossi” you finished your sentence. 

“Please just Dave” he smiled and opened the door for you, you stepped out of the room. “You’re Matt’s sister aren’t you ?” 

“That would be me” 

“He’s outside. He should be able to give you a ride back to the hotel, if not, I'm in here” Dave told you. 

“Thank you, it was nice meeting you” 

“You too kid” he patted your back and headed in the opposite direction. 

You walked out of the station to see your brother and Luke standing by the suv talking about something. “Hey ugly” you poked Matt’s side, “hey tiny” he hit your arm playfully making you pout. “I’m not tiny” 

“oh but you are” 

“shut it Matthew, I need a ride” 

“Where to ?” 

“My bed bro, Dave said I could leave” 

“You’re on a first name basis with my colleagues?” 

“Jealous that they’ll like me better?” you raised your eyebrows and held back a laugh. 

“Oh yeah totally oh my god, y/n please don’t take my friends from me” Matt said sarcastically while giving your shoulder a little nudge. 

Luke chuckled at the both of you and your banter, it was sweet how close the two of you were.

Your sweet moment was ruined by the sound of bullets hitting the suv. Matt’s first instinct was to wrap his arms around you, Luke stood there with his gun drawn and no one in sight except you and Matt. 

“What the hell was that ?” Luke asked, he stepped back taking a look around once more and turned back to you and Matt. “Are you okay ?” Matt asked you with his arms still around you, you nodded. “Are you okay ?” you asked him but your eyes were on Luke. Luke noticed your look and gave you a little nod, “I'm fine, let’s get you back” 

Luke left you and Matt in the parking lot with the keys to his suv before heading into the station to get Emily. Matt drove you back to the hotel, you sat in the parking lot with him for a while, Matt was showing you pictures of the kids and how big they’ve gotten. You had yet to meet the newest addition to the Simmons family, the little one that has yet to be born but it’s like the baby is already here. Matt was so excited even though this was the 4th time Kristy would be giving birth.

“You’re going to be okay ?” Matt asked you as he walked you to your room 

“Yeah, I'll be okay Matt” 

“You know what to do if you need anything right ?” 

“Yes Matt, I'll call my super cool FBI agent for a brother to come rescue me” you laughed making Matt roll his eyes.

“That’s exactly what you’ll do, now you’re sure you don’t want to come back to my place ? Kristy and the kids are at home and I’m sure they’d love to see their aunt” 

“Hm, maybe. Let me get my stuff ?” 

“I’ll help” 

Matt walked into your room and helped you gather your things before heading back to the suv and driving you to his place. “Babe!” Matt called as he walked into the house, “Shh the kids just went down for a nap, they were playing outside all day” Kristy told him, giving him a hug. 

“Is the case over already ?” she asked him, he shook his head. 

“No, just had to bring our guest over” 

Right on cue, you walked in with your bags. “Hey pretty lady!” you pulled Kristy into a hug, “Hey you!” she hugged you back, well as best as she could considering she had a huge bump right now. “Ready to pop yet ?” you laughed with your hand on her belly. “Just about, I told him no more after this one” she gave Matt a look and he just shrugged. 

“I can’t help it, you’re just so-” Matt started but you cut him off

“Gross, gross, gross, gross, gross, I don’t wanna hear that” 

Matt and Kristy laughed at your comment, Matt headed back out to work while you helped Kristy make dinner for your little rug rats.

--- 

Luke sat in the conference room when Matt came back. “Hey man, where’s your sister?” he glanced at Matt, “she’s at my place with Kristy and the kids” he told him. Luke let out an ‘oh’ that sounded rather sad. 

“You okay man ?” 

“Oh yeah, I'm fine” 

“Then what’s with the sad look on your face ?” 

Matt sat across from Luke waiting for his answer. Luke contemplated if he could tell Matt what was really on his mind or if he should make up something. Would he be mad if I liked her ? The voice rang through his head over and over again.  “She’s her own person. Matt doesn’t control her Luke.” Tara’s words came back to him. He should just tell him how he feels, he doesn't want to lie to him. 

“Is your sister seeing anyone ?” Luke blurts out much more awkwardly than he’d expected, Matt gave him a weird look. 

“I don't think so, why do you ask ?” Matt looked over at him 

“Oh just cause the case, gotta cover all the bases” Luke lied 

“Are you sure that’s the reason you’re asking me about her ?” 

Did Matt know ? No, he couldn't know. He played it cool. Oh what was he thinking? Tara figured it out, Luke’s sure Matt did too. 

“What do you mean ?” Luke avoids Matt’s stare, instead he busies himself with the papers scattered across the table. 

“You know exactly what I mean Luke.” Luke’s eyes met Matt’s, Luke knew that Matt knew and he couldn't bullshit his way out of this one. “Come on” Matt stood up, Luke mirrored his actions. “Where are we going ?” 

“Just come with me” 

The two men walked out of the station and got into the car. They were now 15 minutes into their ride and Matt has yet to tell Luke where they're going. Luke looks over at him, “I know you like her” Matt says quietly. “I do” Luke replies. 

The rest of the drive is silent, Matt pulls into his driveway. 

“Tell her” was all Matt said to him

“Tell her what?” 

“Tell her you like her, you both deserve happiness. I trust her judgement, she always did know what was good for her and you, I trust you with my life man, I can trust you with her” Matt told him before getting out of the car. Luke stayed in the car for a few minutes gathering his thoughts before headed into the house. 

“Hey” he smiled at Kristy who was in the living room, she looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. 

“Hey Luke, how are you ?” 

“I’m good, how are you ?” 

“Very pregnant” she laughed, Luke chuckled making his way over to her and gave her a hug. Kristy knew why he was there, Matt wasn’t the only one with profiling skills in the house. 

“She’s in the backyard” Kristy gave Luke’s hand a squeeze, Luke had an amused look on his face as if Kristy wasn't supposed to know about his crush on y/n. Luke whispered a thank you to her before heading to the backyard. 

You sat on the swing hanging from the tree, you had been there when Matt put it up. Kristy had a vision of a swing from her tree and Matt being the husband he is, made her vision a reality. The sound of footsteps filled your ears, too heavy to be Kristy or the kids and too light to be Matt’s, you look up to see Luke standing in front of you. 

“Hey there agent, here to arrest me ?” you stick your hands out in front of you, the blush you saw this morning was back. “Kidding Luke, what’s up ?” you asked him, he leaned against the tree watching you swing back and forth. 

“Just wanted to see how you were doing after this afternoon” 

“Oh the parking lot thing ? I'm fine, are you okay ?” 

“I’m good too” 

Silence filled the air, you swung back and forth on the swing while your feet dangled above the ground. Luke stood in front of you, his hands on the rope stopping you from swinging again. You looked up at the man who was looking down at you. 

“I came here to tell you something” Luke says.

“I’m listening” you look at him.

“I like you” he admits.

“That’s cool, I like you too” you reply casually.

Luke gives you a look, only then did you realize that he meant he liked you, as in he was attracted to you and not he likes you as a friend. “Oh you like like me?” you said making Luke chuckle, “yes y/n, I like like you” he admitted to you. 

This whole scene made you feel rather childish in some ways. Your older brother’s friend was towering over you while you sat on a swing like a child and he admitted he had feelings for you, especially after you asked if he “like likes’ you. 

“Well for your information, I don’t like you” you said rather bluntly. Luke’s smile dropped from his face. “Oh okay” he turned on his heels and made his way to the fence, you sat on the swing and realized he wasn't coming back towards you. 

“Luke!” you shouted as you ran after him, meeting on the front lawn, he stopped and looked at you. “I was only kidding” your hands cupped his face, “I do like you, a lot.” you admitted. 

“Do you like like me though y/n?” he asked seriously. 

“Yes Luke, I like like you” you rolled your eyes playfully. 

Luke pulled you closer to him by your waist as he leaned down towards you. You were on your tiptoes, his hands on your hips to hold you before you toppled over. Luke’s lips met yours right as the sprinklers on the front lawn turned on. 

The two of you stood on the lawn, the sprinklers soaking your clothes without a care in the world.

All you could think about was Luke. 

----

taglist: @aaronhotchnerr​ @mac99martin​ @aaron-hotchner187​ @luke-alvez​ @iconicc​ @tclaerh​ @lieberhers​ @pumpkin-reads​ @ssa-holmes​ @katexrichardson​ @sluttytears​ @thelukealvez​ @scandinavian-punk​ @haleymalaffey​ @sunnymulti

[greypoth0ts]

Comfort from Akaashi

I am still on the roll with the sad comforting fan fics cos life is shit right now but just let me project it here

Characters: Akaashi Keiji

Genre: sadness, comfort & fluff!

Not once, twice.. but thrice. Your ex boyfriend cheated on you. First two times.. yeah. It hurt.. You kept questioning why you. You kept asking, is it because I am not good enough? But when it came to the third time.. you.. felt.. numb.

You knew better, you knew the process. Somedays you lie down in bed sobbing, hoping someone would hold your broken pieces together. You want to be loved, you want to be loved right. You want a love that's unwavering. You want a love that is loyal. Soft at the right time. The kind where you feel like.. its us against the world.

But what did you get? You got.. a dude who cheats. Despite your good heart, giving chances and chances. Over and over again.. the cheating keeps resurfacing. You stopped questioning why you.

You don't ever want to go through this again. You've had enough. You want to put a stop to this because you know and you realise your worth. So you know the only way to control this situation, is that you leave. You leave 6 years worth of memories behind and start afresh.

Akaashi has been there with you through it all. Your first heartbreak, the good times and the bad times. Akaashi always made it a point to be there. He wouldn't miss it for the world, he says. So of course, the first, the second time he cheated, he was there for you. But you haven't told him about the 3rd. Akaashi was your best friend from the start. You both grew up together. Akaashi knows you, inside out. Even better than your ex boyfriend, I must say. A change in your voice, or even just a look on your face.. he knows what's up.

Akaashi has loved you fiercely in all forms.. good days.. He's there. He's there to ride the high with you. And on the bad days where you can't even pick yourself up to function.. He is what keeps you going. He helps you function. So for Akaashi.. he has seen them through it all. You could call him at 3am in the morning sobbing.. and He'll appear at the door with flowers(you don't know how he manages it but he does) and ice cream. This time round its no different. Akaashi is the constant in your life. You could always count on him.

"babe. could you please.. come over? I don't know how to go into details right now.. but I just need you to be here." you quivered as you spoke over the phone to Akaashi.

It was 2am in the morning.

"sure, babe. give me 15 minutes, see you. hang in there." it may not be as assuring, but it has been the most assuring thing you've heard in awhile.

Sure enough, 15 minutes later, you could hear his car pull up on your driveway.

"I'm here." - your phone lighted up. It was Akaashi that texted.

Your hair is a mess, you're in your sweats. You dragged your feet to the door.

And as soon as you open the door, even before you could say anything.. Akaashi pulled you close into his arms.

"its okay, you're safe with me now. we'll figure it out. okay?"

You buried your face in his chest. You could barely say anything. All you did was let out sobs. You tried your best to keep it in, you tried so hard to stand.. but you fell to the ground. Akaashi never once loosen his grip.

Akaashi scooped you off the floor and carried you to your room. He put you down gently on your bed. Wiping the tears off your face with his thumb.

Akaashi could feel that his chest tightening, like someone is ripping his ribcage apart. He hated to see you in this state.

Very gently, he put on his hoodie for you. "I know you like this.. I brought it for you. I hope it brings you some comfort." he whispers.

You could barely say anything. You looked at him with tears in your eyes.. hoping he knows that you are very appreciative of him.

He gets onto the bed with you. Pulls you closer to him, pulls the blankets to cover the both of you. Holds your hands and keeps you warm. You sit comfortably in silence together, candle light flickering.

Akaashi's had enough. He doesn't want to see you in this state again. He knows that he can give you better, treat you better, like the queen that you are. He gathers all his courage. You could feel him tightening his grip when your hands are interlocked.

"y/n. I know maybe its not what you want to hear right now. or maybe its not even the right time. but I don't care. I love you. I loved you the day we met. I loved you since we were kids. I watched you grow, I've been there to ride through your highs with you. and for every time you've fallen, I've always picked your pieces up and glued them together for you. But I think it's enough, y/n. I don't want to see you go through this again. I love you, not just in a way where I just want to be your bestfriend, picking up the mess. but I love you in a way where I want to be able to protect you, to treat you right. to give you the love you deserve. I love you in the way where I know I will want to marry you someday. I love you and I can't promise you that we won't fight or argue. but as long as I love you, I will honour my promises, I will take care of you & I promise you loyalty and happiness to the best of my abilities."

"I know its..."

Even before Akaashi could finish his sentence, you kissed him. You loved Akaashi when you first met too. But circumstances never really fell into place so the both of you just remained as best friends.

"I love you too Keiji, I know it's too soon, with everything that is happening, but we could take it slow."

He heaved a sigh of relief. "finally.." he says.

The both you sat up and embraced each other tightly. You know that from now on.. you are safe. You forever will be.

Love with Keiji is fierce, he does not let you get away with bullshit and calls you out for it. He nurtures you gently. Keiji is loyal. He is soft when you need him to and love with Keiji is reliable and exclusive. You never have any trust issues with him.

likes & reblogs welcome :)

[majwrites]

Beauty Standards

Don Flack x Reader (Romance)

Summary: Reader gets insecure about their looks and contemplates ending their engagement with Flack.

A/N:This one was requested by @sirishavenigalla. I'm not that experienced with writing romance, so I hope it turned out alright.

Warnings: Reader struggles with their self image, fighting in a relationship, some angst

Something about Don Flack seemed off today. Danny had noticed that his friend wasn't the attentive, focused detective he usually would be. After Flack had snapped at Mac Taylor, didn't eat anything for lunch and left all paperwork unfinished in a messy pile, Danny decided he had to confront his friend about this: "Don, we need to talk". "Why, what is it", right now Flack sounded only sad and tired. "Something is going on with you. It's not only that you are not focused on the case, you're wearing a Stone Temple Pilots shirt to work. It's nothing you'd normally do and I know that this shirt is not yours but (Y/N)s", Danny wasn't only worried about Flack, but also about (Y/N). It was well known that Don Flack and (Y/N) (L/N) had a tendency to make really emotion based decisions. Flack waited for a bit before he started talking: "(Y/N) left me behind". "What do you mean?", Danny was confused, it had always seemed like (Y/N) and Don had a picture perfect relationship. They had met at a concert. Sam had dragged him there and he hadn't really been in the mood for a concert but that had changed once he saw (Y/N) in the crowd. Three years had passed and they had recently gotten engaged. Why should all of this be over now?

Now the answer to this question wasn't an easy one. We live in a society where people get judged by others and feel pressure to meet beauty standards that are often impossible to achieve. (Y/N) was usually aware of the fact that everything they saw in magazines was usually photoshopped to a point where it wouldn't even be possible to fit all important organs into the model, but ever since one of their family members had asked them if they put on more weight, (Y/N) started to feel more and more insecure about their weight. They had suffered with body image issues a lot when they were younger and now they feared that they weren't good enough for Flack. They loved him so much and right now (Y/N) was so convinced that they couldn't make him happy that they made a rushed decision. (Y/N) left the shiny engagement ring on the kitchen table and added a note.

Donnie, I'm very sorry to do this, but I need space to think about something. I'm only doing this for you.

-(Y/N)

And so, (Y/N) left the apartment to spend the day somewhere else.

"Did you try calling them?", all of this seemed very odd to Danny, "you definitely have to talk about this". "They won't pick up the phone and they're very vague in the answers to my texts. I don't know what to do anymore, maybe this is all my fault". "You should go and find them, our case is closed anyway and we have the rest covered", Danny sounded very convincing. "Thanks Danny, I'll go and try to fix this", Flack left the CSI building.

He finally found (Y/N) at a motel, sitting on the chair in front of a mirror. He wanted to go in for a hug immediately but as (Y/N) stood from the chair they pushed him away. "Why did you just leave? I was worried sick about you, is it something I did?", he sounded angry for some reason. "You wouldn't understand it anyways", the last thing (Y/N) wanted was a fight but it just happened. "What do you mean, (Y/N)? Am I not good enough?", even Don Flack gets insecure when it comes to the love of his life. "No, that's the problem, Donnie. You're perfect. You're the best boyfriend anyone could ask for and you deserve so much better than being with me", (Y/N) started crying and they hated it. Flack just stared in confusion as (Y/N) continued: "Just look at me, I'm boring and ugly and as my family never fails to tell me, I've been putting on weight. I don't deserve someone as good as you, in fact I deserve to be alone forever, because no one could ever love me". Flack needed a moment to process everything that (Y/N) had just said. Then he pulled them into a hug and this time they just let it happen. He started to ramble: "(Y/N), please don't think like that. I love you more than anyone else on this planet. Whatever other people say about you doesn't matter. You're perfect to me just the way you are". (Y/N) started crying even harder but Flack just held onto them. He continued: "I love the way you look at me when you get really excited about something, and I love how you sing along to every song and can always tell me what a song is called when I only know three words and the melody. You're the most kind and caring person I know and I love the way you look, you're the most beautiful person to me even when we take a walk at night and the only light comes from a street lamp". "Do you really mean all of this, Donnie?", (Y/N) leaned their head against his shoulder. "Every single word. And what's really impossible for me is to stop loving you, so will you please stay with me?", he looked at them with a pleading expression. "Of course I will. I love you so much. I'm sorry for reacting like this", (Y/N) felt a little embarrassed about it now. "Don't apologize, it's not your fault", Flack fished (Y/N)s engagement ring out of his pocket and slid it back onto their finger.

"Do you want to come back home with me?" "Yeah, let's go", and so they left the motel.

[atinysunbaby]

Meant to be | Choi San 🖤

Warnings : Cursing, violence, mention of rape.

Words count : 2.2 k

Previous 《 Prologue

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Present

My cheeks are burning from the salty tears escaping my eyes. A tightening feeling in my chest growing by the minute. The sobs keep escaping me, making my body move uncontrollably. Chocking from the sharp inhales and shaking from the cold temperature. This moment, forever will be imprinted in my mind. Those images I wish I could forget, unfortunately will hunt me till my last breath.

I suppose it's what most people feel too when they lose their parents. I wanted to deny it, but I saw their bodies. They were cold, bruised, bloody and no longer held any signs of life.

The last time a saw them, I didn't bother much to say goodbye to them. Only telling them to enjoy their little vacation in the woods. I was more exited about being alone then making them know how much I loved them. Now it's too late, I'll never be able to see their faces again, hear their voices, feel their arms around me when I need them the most.

I woke up to my cellphone ringing this morning, answering grumpily, thinking it was my mom who disturbed me from my sleep. It was actually the cops telling me to come to the hospital, but I wish it would've been her instead. I wish she could annoy me every morning now, but it's over. She isn't here anymore and neither is my dad.

I'm in my room, at this moment, crying my heart out. I ran out of the hospital immediately after seeing their corpses. They wanted me to identifie them, but I left with people screaming for me to comeback. I guess they probably know from my reaction, that it was indeed my mom and dad.

People keep calling me on my phone, but I don't answer. I'm laying on the floor, looking at the ceiling, waiting for my sadness to subside. I know that won't happen anytime soon, but it's the only way for me to calm down. Being surrounded by people telling me how sorry they are for my loss. A bunch of fake assholes making me feel even worse about the situation definitely won't make anything better.

Slowly my eyes get heavy, I try to fight the exhaustion but fail miserably. I fall asleep on the cold floor of my room, my window open and the sound of rain filling my ears. All of this crying definitely used up a lot of my energy.

The car crash, I wasn't there and I have no idea of what happened. But I see it, something is in the middle of the road and dad just told mom a joke. They're laughing.. until they hit that thing, an animal maybe. It goes right through the window and kill my dad instantly, but as for my mom. The car rolls off the road and fall down a small cliff. Mom's still alive, she's in pain, blood everywhere, she's crying for her husband to open his eyes and answer her. She keeps screaming that she can't feel him anymore? His presence? Her breathing is getting worse the more she panics. Suddenly the door on her side opens and something stabs her in the chest, putting a end to her desperate cries. Blood is streaming down her chin, her eyes looking directly through mine while she takes her last breath.

I open my eyes to see nothing but darkness. I frantically search for a sign of light, I reach around with my hands. My eyes are open wide and my breath shaky, until my fingers brush against an object. I stop every movement, slowly gripping it and letting a breath of relieve when I realise it's my phone.

I turn it on to see a ton of messages and missed calls. One standing out, my aunts name, my mom's sister. I never talked to her, but mom insisted on giving me her number. I look around my room and stand up to look outside the window, only to notice that it's night time. The reason of the darkness and freezing temperature. I close it and turn the lights on in my room. Then I sit on the corner of my bed and hesitate a few minutes while looking at the screen in front of me. My fingers finaly press on call. A few rings later, Aunt Kath's voice is heard. "Y/N! Y/N is it you?"

"Yes it's me.. why did you cal-" I'm cut off by a loud sob. My eyes widen in confusion, but I soon remember that my mom, her sister is no longer a part of this world. I sigh and wait for her to stop crying on the other side of the line. "S-sweetie- where are you? Are you safe? You're not alone ar-"

"Kath, my parents just died. I'm obviously not partying right now, but I'm okay.. I guess.." She stays silent for the next few seconds, my blunt answer probably wasn't expected, but it's understandable. "Sweetheart-I uhh.. you have no one to stay with right? So.. your mom made me your godmother, i-in case anything happened to her.. will you come live w-with me, here in Korea?"

It takes some time to process what just came out of her mouth, my eyebrows are furrowed. Many feelings are fighting to take control of my body, but the one that wins is frustration. "W-what?.."

"She told me to take care of you if she wasn't there anymore... It was just a precaution, but I guess it really happened." She says with a small voice, trying not to upset me further. Judging from my lack of response, she can tell I'm not that excited about this new information. "I asked you, but it ins't really a choice that you have. It's an obligation, you can't stay alone out ther-"

I hang up, not wanting to listen even for one more second. I need some time to think about it. She's right, I don't have much of a choice. I turned seventeen not too long ago and I don't have any family member here. At least none that I know of. I sigh defeated, once again pressing on my godmother's contact.

She picks up not even a second later, as if she knew I was gonna call her back. She doesn't say a word, waiting for me to start talking. I clear my throat after freeing my lower lip from my teeth. "How will I get there? How about my clothes and everything else in the house? My parents' funera-"

"I'll take care of everything you don't have to worry, just bring the necessary and I'll transfer some money on your account so you can pay for your plane ticket. As for the ride to my house, my boyfriend will pick you up" She spend a whole hour explaining to me how everything will go and I agree after hesitating for a while. If my mom gave Kath the role of godmother, she must trust her. So I will trust her too, anyways I don't really have a reason not to. She's been nice till now and she'll even welcome me in her house, she's taking me in. "Thank you Kath, I really appreciate it. I don't know what I would've done if I was all alone."

Days later

I prepared all my stuff, ready to fly to Korea. It took me a while to accept, but eventually I warmed up to it. It's an opportunity for me, to start over. A new life full of adventure, new environment and culture. I want to explore the world so why not start there.

Unfortunately though, I had to say goodbye to all my friends. We cried and spend the last few days together. We promised to text each other everyday and not to forget about one another. Sad thing is, my friends aren't the only ones I need to leave behind. It's hard to leave the place I grew up in, my house, my neighbourhood, my city, everything.

In a few hours, everything I ever knew will all be in the past. Only the memories will stay, the rest, all gone. So the day my parents died, I didn't only lose them, but my life too. The life they gave me. Now, I have to make a new one, by myself.

Landing in Korea

The flight was boring and quite annoying, I didn't know what to do. A baby cried for what felt like years and a couple had an argument at some point. Then the person next to me started to snore so loudly I thought the plane was crashing. I'm glad to finaly be on the ground, the loud voices of people speaking indistinctly seeming to sooth me from what I went through previously.

I sit on one of the chairs in the airport waiting for James, my godmother's boyfriend. He'll drive me to their house, apparently Kath arranged a room for me already. She doesn't have any kid, so she's looking forward to having me over.

"Y/N!!" I jump from the chair almost falling on my ass. I luckily manage to stay on my two feet and not make a fool of myself. Upon hearing a chuckle, I turn around and see an old looking dude smirking at me, maybe in his late forties. "Umm.. Hi can I help you?"

"James, I came to pick you up remember?" He asks while pointing at himself. I'm still unsure, he's looking at me weirdly. I can feel an odd vibe from him. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but I push it aside and nod before following him.

We enter his rusty jeep, the doors creaking when moving. Despite the outside looking a bit ugly, the inside is clean. The only negative point would be the smell, cigarette and..alcohol? Paying a bit more attention to the smell though, it doesn't only come from the jeep. The man next to me is even worst, it seems that he might shower rarely. Subtly, I bring my sweater paws to my nose, looking outside to distract myself.

"So, Y/N! How you holding up?" His loud and deep raspy voice makes me jump for the second time. I turn a bit a towards him not to be impolite and think before answering him. "I guess it's a bit easier then I expected. I didn't think that I'd feel any better, but after a few days it prove me wrong. But I feel bad, to already move on.."

He hums next to me, nodding his head lazily. I wait for him to add something, but the car is filled with silence. I'm relieved he doesn't speak further, not really being in the mood to have a whole conversation, especially with someone I don't know. So, slowly I turn back around towards the window. My mind drifting to the events that happened in just a few weeks, everything is so fucked up. Fortunately, Kath and James decided to help me.

About an hour past since we came out of the airport. We just entered a forrest, James informed me that it'll take a while still. He insisted that I should go to sleep and when I'll wake up, we'll be home. I ponder for some time, but eventually agree. It doesn't take long for me to fall asleep due to not being able to get much sleep in the plane.

I wake up when the car come to an halt, a man's voice coming from next to me. Curses escaping his mouth, confused I open my eyes. The events from the previous hours coming back to me, tears threatening to escape my eyes. My body shaking slightly from fear, uncontrollably.

The ride was a lot longer then what James had told me it would be and I slept, only to be woken up by a hand covering my mouth. Horrible things happened in that car and it wasn't a nightmare, no mather how much I wish it was one. He said he would tell Kath it took us some time because of the traffic and the airport. Then he threatened to kill me if I open my mouth.

I can't let him see me crying, I don't want him to have another reason to hurt me. Despite being terrified and completely drained from energy, I swallow the bill in my throat and wipe the tears from my eyes. While I'm breaking down, next to me James is whistling and turning the car off. Announcing with a loud scream to Kath that we arrived.

"Omg! Y/N! Sweetie you really are here." Kath comes out of the house shouting happily, her arms open, waiting for me to give her a hug. I rush to open the door, but a hand grabs my arm. His nails dig in my skin and I whimper, both from fear and pain. "Remember. You talk, you die."

He puts my bag in my hand, pretending to be helping me. Finally I escape the horrible vehicle and run into my godmother's arms with a heavy heart. The second she engulfs me in her warmth, sobs spill from deep within me. She cries with me but not for the same reason. She cries because she lost her sister and now I'm here. I, cry because I've lost my parents, I lost my house, my friends. Because I've been raped less then an hour ago. Because I feel completely broken and hopeless. The new life I wanted for myself, only starts with even more problems then I had before.

Next 》 Chapter 2

[sckyie]

song: streetcar by daniel caesar

word count: 2.6k

genre + warnings: angst to fluff; reminiscing in past heartbreak, breakdowns, timeskips, swearing, someone gets slapped

pronouns used: she/her

a/n: here's part 2 to driver's license,, i hope this was okay >~< i had to include a new song to the mix (its going into the playlist) soooo enjoy :) also my ratio for angst to fluff is TERRIBLE im sorry

Ever since you had confessed your feelings to your best friend, you had became so distant from everyone. Knowing you might've ruined one of the best friendships shook you. Lately you'd been driving around past curfew just to keep your mind off him. Passing all the street lights just felt like you were driving down memories. 

That flickering light at the corner where Oikawa had helped you after crashing your bike into a pole. Or that bright cool light by the park where you, Iwa, and Oikawa first started playing volleyball. Or that one littered with stickers where you told both the boys that they better remember you when they were famous. 

Apathy overcame your entire being. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, who knew heartbreak could have this effect on a person? It was hard going to school, avoiding Oikawa in every hall, dodging Iwaizumi on your way out, and even trying to ignore Kasumi was too much. It hurt like hell but you didn't want to know what Oikawa had to say. More so, you didn't want to hear what he was going to say, you knew what he'd tell you.

Two months until graduation.

It had been a over a month since that confession. The bright girl everyone used to know dulled out. No one knew why nor how it happened. It only stung between you and the boy you knew you could never love. Oikawa and Kasumi remained together despite the lingering thought of those words you said to him. 

"I- You- Ugh! Just go away, I don't want to see you!" The crack in your voice shook those hidden feelings within you.

"Why not!" Oikawa held onto your forearm, restricting you from running away.

"Because I fucking loved you idiot!" You screamed as hot tears rolled down your cheeks. Oikawa froze at your words, unable to process them.

"You...loved me?" He asked.

"I still fucking love you! God, I hate you- I just- Let go!" You shoved him away from you. "I'm leaving. If you try to stop me, I'm never speaking to you again."

Yet, you never spoke to him regardless. The sudden break between you two effected Iwaizumi as well. Although he had no part in the situation, he was torn who's side to take. He knew your secret but he couldn't betray both his best friends. Seeing you two spilt was like watching glass break. It's sudden, scattered, irreplaceable but if you tried to fix it, you could cut yourself or ruin the glass even more.

Oikawa took your last words as your goodbye. What was worse was that, he couldn't bring himself to find the right words to say to you. How could his best friend love him and never tell him? He never did end up telling Kasumi that he loved her. He began to question his feelings about her and well, you. 

One more month until graduation.

"Hey Y/n, are you going to the third year dance?" Hanamaki taps your shoulder as you doodle on your notes. You shook your head, knowing well enough how you'd have to see Oikawa and Kasumi together. "Come on, we're all going."

"No thanks," You smiled. A sudden ache in your chest hit you as you looked back at your notes. "I don't like dances."

"Liar," Matsukawa joins into the conversation. "What happened to you?"

"Hm?" You looked up, tilting your head at him.

"Just come along, we'll drive," He suggests. "You don't need a date. Just tag along with he boys and Kasumi."

"Again no thanks," You turned him down. "I'm not on good terms with Oikawa right now. I don't want to see him."

"Well, then let's all four go together then. Me, you, Mattsun, and Iwa," Makki says. "We lowkey miss having you around."

"Yeah, come on, we don't have to go with them," Matsukawa agreed.

"Promise we won't hang around them?" You ask solemnly. They nod at you, prompting you to let out a long sigh. "Fine. I don't have a dress, do you guys want to come with to find one?" 

Two weeks until graduation.

You stood in line with the three boys to get inside the ballroom for the dance. You carefully adjusted Matsukawa's corsage that matched your dress. Kasumi and Oikawa had came later, waiting farther back in line. He rests his hand on her waist as he examined the people in line when he spots you. This was the first time in forever since he could see you clearly. He had only caught glimpses of you through the halls, never seeing your face.

Was that the reason the guys didn't want to ride with him? For you? It hit a bit knowing they chose you over him but he knew how you haven't hung out with anyone lately. Always avoiding people, never trying to talk to anyone. 

Inside the ballroom, you and the boys sat together at your assigned table. The songs seemed redundant, leaving you four to occasionally get up to dance. It wasn't until a slow song that caught your attention. You had your head leaning against Iwaizumi's shoulder when you spotted Oikawa and Kasumi walking center stage.

"I'm gonna go outside for some fresh air," You say, standing up. You adjusted your dress before walking away to the outside patio. The muffled sound of the slow song was heard as you rested your arms on the railing. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the sounds of the streets nearby. It was hard to drown out the feelings of Oikawa after seeing him with Kasumi. You feel the pain well up, trying your best to resist crying.

You open your eyes as you feel something being placed on your shoulders. "You'll get sick out here," Iwaizumi says, standing beside you. "You're thinking of him aren't you?"

"Can we not talk about him?" You breathed, tears slowly rolling down your face. "I just don't want to think about how bad I fucked up."

"Well," Iwaizumi looked down at the ground. "Will you dance with me?" You turned to see him holding out his hand for you. Taking his offer, Iwa holds you close as the music played. He let you cry in his arms, knowing well enough that you needed this. Having held all your pain behind driving, you couldn't show how much you were in pain. 

"Thank you Iwa," You sniffled into his chest. 

"I'm always here for you," He smiled. "You're like a little sister to me...It pains me to see you all dull and hurt...When Makki asked you to come out with us, I didn't expect you to agree but I'm glad you did." 

"Can I tell you something?" You panted for air through your tears.

Oikawa held Kasumi close, carefully swaying back and forth together. With her head resting on his chest, he was able to see through the patio window. He spots you and Iwaizumi dancing but for some reason it stung in his chest to see that. Why is he hurt? He's with Kasumi and he loves her, right?

Graduation day.

A group of cheers goes around the ceremony as your final day in high school is finally over. You greet your old classmates one more time, saving your close friends for last. For some reason, all the pain you previously carried had faded away. You approach the gate to meet with your friends for the last time before you go off your separate paths. Makki and Mattsun agreed to text you more to keep up with each other.

Iwaizumi had hugged you once last time, telling you to do your best. You smiled for the first time in a while. It was strange but Iwa was glad to see you starting to move on. You and him agreed to update each other on your mental healths and to hang out whenever you'd visit. Then it was the one you dreaded.

Saying goodbye to Oikawa, it'll be the last time you'll see him. You waited patiently for him as he was caught up by some fans and Kasumi. When he did manage to leave the underclassmen, he spotted you waiting. "Hey babe, can you go on ahead? I want to talk to Y/n," He says to his girlfriend. She nods happily, walking by you as she left. 

"Hey," He stops a few feet away from you, scared to step any closer.

"Hi," You said. "I have a few words for you." You let out a small chuckle, leading him to believe it was something good.

"Good or bad?" He laughed.

"Well," You started. "I just wanted to say goodbye for the last time...It was nice being your friend and I know how rough it turned out in the end...I'm sorry for not telling you before how I felt. I just thought I wasn't good enough for you and that you'd fall for someone else. Kasumi is a great girl and you two are amazing together...I really wish you guys the best...I know you'll do outstanding in volleyball like the king you are. You better not forget us when you're famous..Listen, I have to go before I'm late, so this is...it...Goodbye Tooru." You wiped a tear from your cheek, smiling at him. You quickly turned around, disappearing into the city. 

"Wait! Y/n!" He rushes after you, only to get lost in the crowd of third years saying their goodbyes. Oikawa felt tears well up in his eyes as he desperately looked around for you. "You didn't let me say..." He whispered to himself.

A week later, Oikawa and Iwaizumi join each other to lunch at your favorite restaurant. Iwa scrolls on his phone waiting for the food while Oikawa looked at the booth you two would always get. "Hey Iwa-chan?" He asks. "Do you know where Y/n decided to go after graduation?" Iwaizumi stopped scrolling to think back at the third year dance.

"Can I tell you something?" You panted for air through your tears.

"Anything," Iwa replied.

"I'm moving away from Miyagi immediately after graduation," You sniffled. "Remember when we were kids and we said we wanted to live in Tokyo or Kyoto?"

"Y-yeah," He was a little shaken up hearing that you'll be leaving so soon. 

"My uncle just moved to Kyoto and he offer me a room there...and I said yes," You started to trace circles on his back. "It's by that college I wanted to go to and they have good jobs there and-"

"You don't have to explain yourself. You'll do amazing out there," Iwa chuckled. "Just promise you'll visit sometime?" He knew how much you needed to be away from Miyagi. Although it pained him, he knew it was only for the best.

"No," Iwa lied. "I haven't seen her. She hasn't texted in a while.

Three months after graduation.

You got into a cab on your way to your new job at a café. You stared out the window, admiring the new city you live in. Learning to adjust and work around the city was tough. The feeling of calling Kyoto home was strange, knowing that it wasn't. 

Ever since you had said goodbye to Oikawa, things in his life changed. He believed losing you wasn't fair, not knowing where you'd gone always haunted him. He had broken up with Kasumi over the guilt held over his head. Always thinking about you when he was with her wasn't right. With you being gone, his only priority became volleyball. 

You however, had let go of those old feelings you held onto. That last goodbye satisfied you, letting you sleep at night and allowed you to love yourself more. You've grown so much from dull slump you were stuck in for weeks. Though living in a different environment made it feel like you weren't even there.

Oikawa roamed the streets slowly approaching different shops along the sidewalk. He had some free time before the practice match he had, so it wouldn't hurt to explore, right?

That's when it happened.

You closed the door to your cab, turning towards the café's direction. Your eyes lock onto a set of familiar pupils. Frozen in time, the two of you never exchanged a word yet, suddenly a rush of emotions filled you both.

Pain, anger, fear, regret, almost everything you felt in the past came back to you seeing him. Standing before you, the man you once loved. The man you might still love.

You snapped out of your thoughts, walking towards him, stopping a few feet away from him. "Y/n what-" You raised your hand, harshly impacting Oikawa's cheek. His hand flies up to his face, holding the spot you smacked.

"You seriously broke up with Kasumi for me?" You growled. "Y-you're an idiot y'know? She was good to you too! Also ignoring Iwa for volleyball? I told you not to-"

"You kept track of me?" He whispered, a slight smile creeping on his face.

"W-Well obviously! I ask Iwa about you from time to time," You muttered. You looked up to Oikawa and saw him grin down at you.

Before you could say anything else, Oikawa puts his two hands on the sides of your cheeks. He pulls your face close to his, crashing his lips against yours. You tense at the action, gripping his wrists. He doesn't pull away until you settle into the kiss.

Your hands melt away from his wrists and reach for his torso. Your lips moved together in sync, almost as if it were a familiar feeling. He pulls away from you, pressing his forehead against yours. "You never let me say my goodbye," Oikawa snickered. "You said goodbye to me then disappeared without a trace."

"Sorry," You blushed. His hands move to your waist, still holding you close to him.

"I wanted to tell you that..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I love you too. I'm sorry I'm so late in telling you and I'm sorry for being caught up with Kasumi. I didn't know what I was doing and I couldn't talk to you...I fucked up for not seeing how much you- well how much I loved you...I know this is all late and you probably don't want to hear any of this but-"

You tiptoed and kissed his nose, making him stop. "How'd you find out you loved me?" You looked at him curiously.

"I was driving down your street and all the old streets we'd walk through," He started. "It reminded me of you and then I saw that white streetcar. The one that is always parked by the laundromat? It made me realize how much you meant to me."

"Seriously? That old junk car?" You laughed.

"Hey, it reminded me of you okay, just seeing it whenever we hungout and passed it," Oikawa squeezed your hip, making you chuckle at him. "Will you ever forgive me?"

Your laughter ceases as you look up at him. "I had to learn how to drive on the highway on my own, jerk," You brought up.

"Is that a yes?" He smirked.

"...No...Maybe," You squinted your eyes at him. "You owe me ramen."

"Wait how'd you know how I've been these last few months?" Oikawa pulls away from your hold.

"Oh Iwa was the first to know I was moving, I asked him to check on you every now and then. I just wanted to make sure your pretty face doesn't do anything stupid. You did by the way, you did some stupid shit," You grinned. "Hey are you hungry? I can get you something from the café for free." You turned away from him, heading to your job.

"Hey you can't just insult me then leave, come here," He runs after you stopping you a few steps away from work. Oikawa plants a rough kiss on your lips before looking down at you. "The only stupid thing I did was not tell you I loved you sooner."

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @d0llpie @elianetsantana @joy-laufeyson @kac-chowsballs

[twoidiotwriters1]

Hollywood!AU -(Anne xFem!Reader)

A/N: Warning, this is LONG and ends up abruptly. I hope it was somehow near to what you were imagining! -Danny

Request: 🍇-Ik I'm late but I rly wanted to try this out. So the characters and me and a girl named 'angie' Anne. It's basically set in hollywood and they both are enemies, but they grow fond of each other over time and start dating. Paparazzi interfere and what not (i'm bored). Can you make it really angst and some smuts? (I'm a bi girl, btw) @nandos-hub-for-dumbasses​

Warnings: Mentions of smut and sad cuties

Twoidiots Masterlist

Okay so, you guys kinda grew up in the industry so you became “enemies” while being really young

And it was probably a silly fight, or maybe your parents put you against each other, or maybe you were always competing for the big parts on tv shows and movies

The point is that by the time you guys were seventeen you hated each other with a burning passion (as any seventeen-year-old does)

Then it happened: You were casted as best friends for an indie teen movie

You really wanted to refuse, but Ruby (your irl best friend) did her best to convince you against it

This could be your big break (and it was)

But only bc the chemistry you and Anne had on screen was ??? so wholesome and great???

You even made a sequel 

And then it became a trilogy, with your characters going to different schools by the time they graduate HS so it’s really cheesy and heartfelt

but Anne and you actually worked out your differences during the process and by the time you finish the third movie you both actually cry bc you won’t work together again??

You keep in touch but both of you have projects and things to do, until three years later when you both are invited to the Oscars and HOLY FUCK ANNE IS HOT NOW???

Like sure she was always beautiful, which was part of the reason why you kinda disliked her but omg right now you wouldn’t mind it if she kicked you in the face

Anne sees you and rushes over to hug you, the paparazzi are going WILD this is the reunion of the bffs from that movie everyone used to love!!

In the middle of the ceremony you even convinced THE Marilla Cuthbert (amazing actress) to switch seats with you so you can spend the rest of the night with Anne

The after party’s wild, everyone’s there. Funnily enough, you can’t recall most of the faces bc all you can remember of that night is 1-you ended up drunk as hell and 2-right before you two started drinking Anne had already made out with you in the bathroom

What came next was pretty much the best time of your life. Dates, nightcalls, instagram stories, suddenly a month turned into six, then nine...

As twenty-something-year-olds, you and Anne have tons of offers falling into your laps, Anne gets a call for a casting call and she gets the main role.

This main role happens to have a romantic interest. Who turns out will be played by none other than Gilbert John Blythe.

He’s been in the industry for like two, maybe three years. But the kid’s a charmer, he’s got brains and he’s beautiful. Everyone loves him. 

And everyone wants Anne to love him as well. 

You get tons of video recs on youtube titled “Anne and Gilbert in love for ten minutes straight” or “everytime Anne undresses Gilbert with her eyes”

It’s alright, you’ve seen this before, and you can’t blame them, they have an amazing chemistry in the show and it’s only natural that people wants that to be real

But god, the toxic fans are the worst, the comments about “imagine having to say goodbye to Gil only to go home and find Y/N there... disgusting”

You should stop reading those comments, really you should. They’re unhealthy, and these people don’t even know you

You manage to ignore most of it until the press releases the pictures: Anne and Gilbert walking out of some random restaurant in the city where they film the show... kissing.

Angry doesn’t even start to describe you rn. You’re seething, you’ve been humiliated, your twitter and your texts are both blowing up with notification. 

Anne calls you at least thirty times before she stops trying.

She finished season one and takes the first flight back to you, and it takes all of her courage, but she goes to your house as soon as she lands safely. 

Then two hours pass before you open the door. 

You were out with Ruby getting wasted, so when you get home you come face-to-face with Anne sitting on your driveway and crying her eyes out thinking you’re just ignoring her.

She sees you and she stands up, you try to escape and ignore her, you tell her you don’t wanna know, that she should move on and forget you bc she’s clearly happy with Gilbert

She says it took her by surprise, that Gilbert kissed her without her consent, but you don’t believe her.

But you’re also very drunk, and shit, you’d missed Anne so badly...

Her perfume somehow smells stronger than usual, and your eyes land on her pouty lips, you’re bitter, but you’re also desperate to feel her mouth on you.

You pull her in roughly for a kiss she was definitely not expecting, but her hands are quick to get all over you. Half an hour later, her fingers are in you.

You hate her, but you’re deeply in love, and you can’t remember where one ends and the other starts. You’re all feelings, and every single thought in your mind belongs to her.

it’s only when you’re completely sober, after the third -or was it the fourth?- round, that you decide to get it over with.

“Do you like him?” 

Anne’s falling asleep with her arm around you, but she tenses. She wants to say no, of course she doesn’t! Gilbert would never compare... Gilbert shouldn’t occupy a single though in her mind

Yet, she keeps thinking about his kiss, even though they ended up in really bad terms afterwards

“I love you. Isn’t that what you should care about?”

That’s not the answer you want, and both of you know she can’t give you a real answer, you know her so well by now, you can practically read her swirling thoughts, all confusing, undecided.

“I can’t be your partner for as long as you continue working with him. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to quit, I’m not asking you to... I’m tired of the hate in social media, of me being the one that somehow doesn’t belong next to you simply bc I’m not the popular heartthrob—” “I want you!”

“But I want to be happy.”

Add yourself to out taglist!

Forever Taglist.

@i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual​ @just-here-to-escape-from-reality​ 

ANNE Taglist.

@ninizkd @http-itsrebecca​ @aleksosoto​ 

[mosshead-lover]

The Snowflake & The Kitten

Shoto x Reader

Summary: It’s your first Christmas with the Icyhot. You know he shows little or no enthusiasm in the holidays. How will it end up after you go against your instincts and decide spend the Eve with him.

A/n: Hey y’all! Hope you had a fabulous Christmas. I wanted to post this in time for Christmas, but my lazy ass was well..busy procrastinating. Any ho, I'm a Lil late, but hope you like the Present :D

It was late evening, and you were strolling through the streets, slower than usual, observing the decorations on the buildings and homes. Christmas sure brightened up your otherwise mundane city. You go back to wondering the same thing that's been in your mind for so long, whether you should get him something and if yes, what should you? It's been almost ten months since you and Shoto started going out. If you had to point out one thing that you not necessarily liked about him(not until recently), it would be how minimal Shoto's reactions or expressions were, almost all the time. It just made it really difficult to gauge his likeness or dislike-ness towards something. It was hardly a problem or something that bothered you until you had to pick a gift for him.

*Buzz Buzz*

You have a new text message.

Jirou: Yo! Coming?

Y/n: Will be there in 5 min.

Jirou always played her gigs to you before she actually performed. This had become a ritual more of. You started walking faster, paying lesser attention to the decorations along the way.

Jirou rocked it, as usual.

"Are you sure you don't want to join?"

You Jirou and few other girls in the class who couldn't go home for the holidays had planned a night out. Jirou still couldn't digest that you were missing it. Her reaction was only normal considering the enthusiasm your boyfriend had towards holidays.

'I want to spend the holidays productively,'

is what he had told the last time holidays came up in one of your conversations.

"Yes." You replied with a hint of uncertainty.

"At least buy a tree and some decorations on the way. Pretty sure he wouldn't have put one up." Jirou sighed.

"You don't know that!" You defended, regretting it a second later.

Jirou shrugged.

Your head was filled with ambiguity. You knew Jirou wasn't the kind who joked around or even talked much. You knew there was weight to whatever she said. You draw the cell phone and type a quick message.

y/n: Hey, I am on the way and stopped by to get a tree. What size do you prefer?

*Buzz Buzz*

Doki: What tree?

You despised Jirou for a second for being so accurate. Was not bothering Shoto with the pressure of celebrating the best gift you could give? You wondered if it was too late to join the other girls.

Doki: Oh, I see. Whatever works for you.

You picked a tree small enough for you to carry and some decorations along with candy canes. You had forgotten about the Christmas present for him until you came across the headband section with cute cat ears. You bought a white one and read one. At the billing counter, you struggled, You still had time to put it all back. Maybe just have dinner and watch a movie like any other weekend and not bother your not-so-festive boyfriend. But, you made up your mind. There was no turning back now.

--

"Hi, y/n."

Shoto helped you with the shopping bags and the tree. You reluctantly unzipped your bag and took a white sweater out. It matched the one you were wearing. The couple-Christmas-sweaters that you drunk ordered three months ago. Before you could say anything, He checks the time and,

"Hey, the webinar that I was supposed to attend this afternoon? They postponed it to seven. It will take an hour, Hardly, okay? I'm sorry, but I hope you understand."

He rushed through his sentences.

"Oh! This is for me? Thank you"

He grabbed the sweater from your hands, pecked your cheek, and hurried to his room.

You crashed into the couch. He didn't even notice that you were wearing the same sweater. You sulked and buried your face in the couch pillow and let out an inaudible scream. You took a deep breath and reminded yourself why you wanted to do this in the first place. It was your first Christmas together. You had to make it memorable for both of you. Moreover, Shoto never got together with his family to celebrate anything. You couldn't blame him for not getting excited about the festival.

You decided to look at the brighter side of it. You had an hour to make the house Christmas friendly. You went and bought some more lights and bells, set up a tree, put the lights around. You had to go to his room a few times to get the stapler, tape etc., He didn't mind. You had time to modify the cat ears as well. You removed one of the ears and carefully sewed the other color ear to match his hair color. You took one last look at the setup. It wasn't much, but it was a pleasant sight. It was almost ten. He wasn't done yet. You were too hungry to cook, you'd end up eating, and eating without him was the last thing you wanted to do. You decided to stay away from the kitchen. You fired up the TV and started surfing through the channels. Another hour passed. You gave up and went to the kitchen to fix yourself a cup of coffee. You were too sleepy and didn't want to doze off.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, you heard his door open. You set your coffee aside and sat up. He was wearing the sweater. He wore an apologetic face that transformed into a delight when he saw the tree.

"There is .. on your.."

Before you could process what he was implying, he bent down and cleared the foam mustache above your lips with a kiss.

"Coffee? at this hour?"

Shoto spoke up softly as he settled down next to you.

"I had to stay up, so..

”Did you eat?” He sounded tired too.

"No..I.."

He widened his eyes as a mother would, reacting to her kids skipping meals.

'Wait a minute, I am the one who should be mad!' You shouted on the inside.

"That was one heck of a long webinar." You comment, trying to suppress everything that you were feeling.

"I know." He acknowledges and takes you by your arm to make you sit on his lap. You put your legs on either side and sit on him, facing him.

"The fact that you were here, waiting, made it even more difficult for me." he continued as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

The sincerity in his voice was something you could never bypass and stay mad at him even if you wanted to.

"I am sorry."

"You are forgiven," you murmur and begin arranging his bangs. His face was ever charming against the constantly changing TV lights.

You both stayed there for a while, making out. You might have, longer if it wasn't for your grumbling stomach.

"You think that Soba place will still be open?"

You both go out and eat stomach full. Shoto offered to hold your hand on the way back. You were surprised as he never did that before. He always stayed away from PDA.

"It's too cold. I'm just keeping you warm." He justified.

"Besides, this way, there is a higher chance of people noticing that we are twinning."

You felt warmer as his heterochromatic eyes met yours. Your eyes dilated further at the sight of his tender smile. It was almost midnight when you reached home.

"Hey, It's almost Christmas." You squeak. You weren't worried about him being non-festive anymore. He reacts with an equally encouraging smile. As the clock struck twelve, you swing your arms around him and raise your toes, he helps by lifting you a bit, you kiss and wish him a merry Christmas.

"Merry Christmas to you too, y/n" He kisses you back and puts you down, gently.

"Hold on." He said and rushes into his room. He came back with two tiny boxes and placed them under the tree.

"Too Late?" You nod and join him to near the tree.

"Open!" his excitement was palpable. You carefully unwrapped the first box and saw a tiny glass slab covered in transparent resin shaped like a cuboid that was decorated to look like a charm.

On further inspection, you realized what was inside was a slide. You bought it closer to your eyes and tried to make out what was inside.

Shoto handed you a magnifying glass.

"Doki, Is this a ...?"

"Yes." He sounded proud.

"A real ...?"

"Yes."

You were awestruck.

"I didn't know Snowflakes can be preserved like this!"

You finally took your eyes off the charm and looked at him.

"Apparently, we can."He beamed a brighter smile, soaking in every inch of your reaction.

”And this way, an important part of me will always stay close to you."

He meant it. It was obvious from his tone and expression.

The present had exceeded all of your expectations. It was thoughtful, symbolized much more than Christmas. It was perfect. You were left speechless.

Shoto handed you the second box. Your vision blur from teary eyes. You managed to stop the tears and open it. It was a silver snowflake bracelet.

Shoto went on to explain it.

"Since the actual one is quite delicate and I couldn't morph it into a bracelet like I wanted to, I got this too, you know a ..."

You interrupted him the midway with a kiss, followed by another, and another.

He returns all your kisses with equal passion and holds you close.

He reaches out to grab his gift, you push away his hand, and take the present away from the tree. You felt so stupid. You were flustered with embarrassment suddenly.

"Hey, let me see it." He complains.

"No!" You exclaim and hide it behind your back.

"Why not?" He was confused.

"B..B...Because... It’s is not for you!"

"What?" He chuckles.

"Y/n... Are you sheltering someone else here without my knowledge?" He narrowed his eyes to look serious.

"Wh..what...No...I mean.."

Shoto pounced upon you and snatched the gift while you were in a state of confusion. You tried to snatch it back, but it was too late.

"Cat ears?" Shoto turned it back and forth, inspecting the band.

"Looks adorable. Should I put it on?" He asks innocently. You nod, still looking down.

"Like this?" You finally look up, and all your unworthy feeling lifts that just how adorable he looked. He smiles and brings his palms closer to his cheeks, trying to imitate a kitten. You almost had a nose bleed. Your reactions must have been so obvious, for he burst out laughing.

"Here, you try it on."

"No! don't you dare take 'em off!" You warn him.

"There is an extra pair." You beam ear to ear and get the other one. Of course, you had enough time to mend the other set.

After you pet each other, you take a bunch of photos together, you took his solo shots. Near the tree, in the kitchen, in front of the door, in the bedroom. You wanted to take a couple more, but you decided against it, reading the growing annoyance in his face.

Then you both sat by the tree, checking the cards he received. You were honestly a bit shocked to know he never went through them.

"Wow. Isn't this your sister?"

"Yes. and her Boyfriend." he eyes at the photo and gets back to his phone.

"They look so cute together!"

You were a little annoyed he wasn't paying attention to the cards. You snatch the phone to find him looking at the cat-ear pictures of you both.

"I think we look better." He states, unaffected by your barbaric snatching.

”We should use one of these pictures to send out cards”

You ruffle his hair and giggle, not because of the comments he just made. But because he could make such cheesy statements with a straight face.

Suddenly, you couldn't recall why you were worked up the whole day.

”Hey”

Shoto breaks the silence. You were on the couch, sitting between his limbs, as he wrapped his hands around you, warming you up and letting you rest on his chest.

”Um?”

”We should do this every Christmas”

”Do what?”

”You know, the tree, the matching sweaters, the cards...”

You chuckle.

”We will, Doki”

’Oh My baby Kitten, this is how Christmas is supposed to be!’

[ellaintrigue]

"ABUSIVE TYPES HIDE THE FACT THEY'RE ABUSIVE, WEAR THEIR VICTIMS DOWN AND ISOLATE THEM, SO THEY NO LONGER HAVE ANY SUPPORT BUT THE ABUSER, THEN START THE ABUSE, MAKING THE VICTIM BELIEVE THEY DESERVE IT AND EVEN HAVE THE VICTIM DEFEND THE ACTIONS OF THE ABUSER. YOU NEVER KNOW SOMEONE IS ABUSIVE UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE."

Growing up I knew what abuse was. It was when someone called you bad names and made fun of you, or it was when someone hit you or was otherwise physical. But those are the basics, I had no idea. It was the 90s and early 00s. No one had cellphones, let alone internet in our rural community. Mom raised me well but we didn't know what we know now. Abuse, even simple harassment, is being talked about now on a level it never was and the internet alone is in an uproar. It's a good thing.

It just passed the anniversary of my grandmother's death and the 1 year anniversary of when I first met up with the last guy (no abuse). That stings a little. But now it is about to be the 5 year anniversary of when I became a victim of domestic violence. It haunts me and I used to talk way too much about it to people, a trauma effect. But it's one of those things that will stick with you.

I never considered myself a victim until the day he got physical, which is when I left him. That is when something clicked in my head: THIS IS NOT OKAY. I was in a stupor after the assaults but I knew to escape. I'm going to approach this topic from the standpoint of a cis female, because let's face it, this is a huge issue with men against women in particular. Let's not candy-coat that. That said, remember no one, male, female, or otherwise has the right to put you down, control you, or put hands on you!

It all starts somewhere. Like the person above says, everyone is nice at first. Forget the bad boys versus nice guys shit. Nice guys are creeps (Google Nice Guy Syndrome). Women sense outward creepiness right away especially with all the whining, but the rest of mankind is a gamble. You never know what you're going to get into.

The standard list of an abusive partner is pretty clean cut, describing fear, a lot of control, and violence: https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-domestic-abuse-signs

I could never be fully controlled and ended up punching him several times in fact, which was wrong and made me an abuser. I should have left. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO LEAVE OVER THE THOUGHT OF HEARTBREAK OR BEING ALONE. THERE ARE ZILLIONS OF PEOPLE OUT THERE EVEN IF DATING IS A BITCH.

There were good times and he did things for me but there's always a bright side to an abuser, that's what makes you stay. There was never any name calling or put-downs. He had mental illness breakdowns and was worried about me cheating mainly.

Here is my self-compiled list of abuse warning signs that happened to me:

1 Your partner dislikes and doesn't trust your family and close friends, encouraging you to distance yourself from them. He says they are abusing you.

2 Your family and friends nearly all dislike your partner, saying he's not acting right or something doesn't feel right.

3 Your partner is worried about you cheating. He worries about your boss, your coworkers, and customers at your job. He doesn't like you being anywhere without him.

4 Your partner is always calling or texting you, even if it's "just to talk." Normal relationships have space, you should be able to go a few hours without chatting or being around each other.

5 Untreated mental illness. I WOULD NEVER CLICHE OR BASH ANYONE WITH MENTAL PROBLEMS CLEARLY I HAVE THEM MYSELF. But when someone chooses to refuse treatment and starts victimizing those around them, being ill is NOT an excuse. Never ever feel sorry for an abuser because they are bipolar or have schizophrenia, etc. NEVER let them use their health as an excuse.

6 Establishing a relationship right away and wanting to have kids soon, even if there is no financial stability. They want to tie you to them.

7 They need reassurance that the relationship is "forever" and that you will never leave.

8 While ignoring all the red flags due to inexperience, previous abusive relationships, or whatever reason, you are still nervous and feel the need to ask the person if they would act out if you ever did have to leave them.

9 They threaten to kill themselves if you do try to leave or have any sort of space from them.

10 They can't hold a job. That's not a moral failing, it's a sign of instability that is not healthy for anyone. It will often fall on you to provide for them. That should be consensual, not forced, like when a man or woman stays home and cares for children while their partner agrees to work and is okay with that.

11 They destroy your belongings in fits of rage. YOU ARE NEXT, NO JOKE THERE...

12 They tell others that you are controlling and abusing them. They tell people that you did things that they actually did, like smashing a vase for example.

13 They threaten to call the police and tell them you assaulted them (these are times I was not hitting him although I admit I was wrong when I did that). They threaten to have you taken to the mental ward. They hit or cut themselves to threaten to tell the police you did it to them.

14 They steal from you. That's a pretty obvious one but yeah it happens anyway, and of course you don't want to press charges because they are still your partner. Some was paid back but it's still not okay.

15 They say their meltdowns and actions were never as bad as how you saw them (gaslighting).

Don't put up with any of this shit. Last week I went to the grocery store and this angry man was huffing through the isles talking to himself. He grabbed some things and piled them on his woman, who wasn't walking too fast and acted nervous. The man bitched at her and she moved towards the checkout line as I was walking up with a big cart full of shit. She told me to go ahead and I said, "no, you go ahead, you only have a few things." She was also in her work scrubs, a healthcare worker. She turned to me and said in this small nervous voice, "I also need to buy gas, will that be a problem?" I didn't really process what she said at first because it didn't make sense but said yes, of course. That would only take seconds after she paid for her 3 items.

This woman seemed timid and worn-down. This couple appeared to be in their early 50s, her with her hair done and clean, and him in dirty clothes with wild eyes. He demanded money from her and then shoved past me and another woman to go into the alcohol section of the building. As I left, he came out of another exit and cut close to me, babbling to himself while carrying a 6 pack of beer. He was yelling to himself that he got the wrong beer. She exited with the food and he huffed after her. This was 9 AM.

Don't let yourself be that woman. And if you are that woman, it's never too late, especially if you work and support that man. Save up, get support, bail. Please run before he kills you.