#not that I still don't get that way hAHA but it's less anxiety induced I guess? shRUG

[salamispots]

every time I make fake store ads/product designs I'm just like

[cryingyetcourageous]

Headcanon: Essential Tremor

One of my favorite ways to make headcanons is to overanalyze canon and keep extending it to realistic conclusions. Like, Raivis shakes a lot. He's the only one I'm aware of where, rather than it being for a quick bit joke, it carries on and is seen in many interactions, even being acknowledged by other characters. It could easily be dismissed as "lol, lil scared guy is shaky, haha, he's so nervous" but guys-

He has also, canonically, had his spine crushed so severely that it's stunted his growth. Dude has nerve damage. Can you imagine what being pushed down on for centuries to the point of reducing someone's height by no less than 10 cm would do to the central nervous system? He's not scared all the time: he's got an injury-induced disability (not that shaking solely due to mental illness would be any less valid; Anxiety is a diagnosis, not a moral failure).

So, I carry that further-

In a situation like that, it makes sense that heightened emotions would worsen symptoms, but it probably wouldn't be limited to anxiety: being excited/happy or angry would exacerbate it, too. Any swing of the pendulum away from "neutral/calm" would excite his nervous system and make the shakiness more noticeable, as would physical activity. He's just as likely to shake when he's excited to see an old friend again as he is when an asshole driver nearly hits him as he's crossing the street. Positive emotions can be just as strong and, technically, just as disruptive.

But he's also found ways to manage, some healthy, some less so. At home, he probably uses a lot of wooden, metal, or plastic dishware. Personally, I lean towards him preferring wooden for bowls/plates and reusable plastic for cups... but he still has ceramic mugs. He will risk them shattering because it feels wrong to drink tea in anything else, and besides, he gets free mugs from events all the time.

He writes a bit more slowly than some people, and rather than fighting himself on trying to make smooth, coherent lines/curves, he instead "sketches" his letters. Multiple short strokes. He's tried typing instead, but for him personally, that's slower. For particularly long meetings, he does his best, but usually gets copies of notes from Liet or Eesti. (He used to make audio recordings, but between the background noise of people speaking over the presentations and the security risk, that's not a great option.)

For hobbies, he's found work-arounds. Playing the kokle is the one that took the longest to adjust to since it relies so heavily on fine motor skills, but because his tremor is usually rhythmic/consistent, he's learned to work with it so long as he doesn't play for too long, which tends to make it more exaggerated and less predictable. Crochet and knitting are much the same - short sessions with breaks. Singing isn't too affected as long as, again, he doesn't overdo it. Other hobbies aren't really impacted much.

I usually write him with a stutter, which is less because of nerves themselves and more because his voice wavers and, when it does so, he has a habit of trying to say the word/syllable again. Some sounds are more difficult than others, like "y". I don't know how to explain it except that y moves from one part of the mouth to another, and that "movement" gives a lot of room to extend too far. It also tends to be worse at the beginnings of sentences or directly after pauses. When he's really deep in thought and sort of thinking outloud, he stutters less because he's too distracted to notice his voice wavering. When he's more excited, positively or negatively, it often worsens because he's trying to get this thought/idea/feeling across and is more aware of every little "slip up" in his delivery, more likely to stumble over himself.

He's noted to have an alcohol tolerance that should be physically impossible for someone his size (40 "glasses" of alcohol. It doesn't specify kind, but regardless, that would give someone his size a BAC of 1.74 [beer] to 13.95 [spirits]). It's not a stretch to think of it as self-medicating, both in response to mental health because he has put up with so much shit jfc give him a break and also because alcohol is... a depressant! Alcohol is proven to reduce essential tremors. However, this is a very shitty fix because alcohol withdrawals significantly exacerbate them, so it's not great.

Anyways thanks for coming to my TEDtalk

[potatoidunno]

OKAY KIKO, OKAY. GAME PLAYED. GAME PLAYEDDDD

i had time on my hands. Don't be alarmed. Okay maybe be a little alarmed. It was relaxing for me. Sorta. I'm open to having my opinions being forcibly beaten out of me okay bye!!

Accidental Public Confession - NAY i need them to be able to revel in the confession and to uwu in all their glory and not be interrupted by the realization that NPC#34 is staring intently from across the room

Almost Kiss - YAY there's always just so much room for the build up of tension! and THEN what?? do they get right back into it? Or is there a time skip and it's on their mind for days? weeks?

Anger Born of Worry - NAY very rarely do i see this written in a way that doesn't leave me infuriated; it's just somehow magically solved and sunshines and rainbows once they realize "oh it's because they love me that they've been pissed for a whole week!" without any actual... apologizing? recognizing it's not cool?

Blind Date - NAY just not my vibe, maybe that's rooted in me personally finding the concept of blind dates anxiety inducing HAHA

Break His/Her Heart to Save Him/Her - YAY i love angst (but also NAY because the reason is almost always something stupid that could've been solved with a little something called communication)

Caught in the Rain - YAY but only if it's warm spring/summer rain and they don't have any important papers/documents/electronics in their bags

Childhood Friends Romance - YAY but i gotta be seeing some snippets into the childhood, don't jump me with a "i've always loved you" without actually showing that

“Dear John” Letter - YAY only if paired with sufficient backstory of why A has come to their wits end with B. and they don't take them back.

Deconfirmed Bachelor - YAY eat your words and look at you now, simp (better if they're just completely unabashed about simping)

Dying Declaration of Love - NAY THEN SAY IT MF EARLIER DUMMY (+ doesn't leave room for continuation if they actually die)

Everyone Can See It  - NAY if the actual confession is comparably lackluster to the way the sickeningly sweet pining is described by everyone else :( YAY if everyone sighs in relief and they are no less disgusting in their affection

Exiled to the Couch - YAY funnier if the couch is actually comfier than the bed

Fake Relationship - YAY if there's an actual guideline and plan while executing the fake relationship. there's gotta be a goal/reason, tension, and the segue into a real rel

First Cut is the Deepest - NAY if it becomes a recurring issue that A has to bend over backwards to accommodate B, without B actually putting in effort to work on themselves

First Love - YAY it's cute

Flirting Under Fire - YAY PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN WAS A PIVOTAL MOMENT OKAY

Forgotten First Meeting - YAY A's feigned expression of hurt, B desperately trying to remember and sweating bullets but has the memory of a goldfish (i'm B). A vowing to make themselves much more memorable this time around

Friendly War - YAY it just makes for such good banter

Friends with Benefits - NAY which is funny because i've read so many?? mentally i just need it to go somewhere...! i'm a lil softie ok i need them to kiss kiss fall in love eventually

Gibberish in Love - YAY i love it when A is ridiculously dumb for B <3

wow there's a text limit per block??

Girl of My Dreams - NAY meh doesn't do much for me idk!

Green-Eyed Epiphany - YAY yessssss i live for this shit give it to meeeee muahahaha has me ROLLING on the ground when this happens uhg. less cool if A takes it way too toxic and it's less jealousy and more just straight controlling

Hands-on Approach - YAY let's be logical here it really would be the best way to learn ;)

Happily Married - YAY but they still have to have silly fights okay

Her Boyfriend’s Jacket - YAY they're probably better quality anyway. love it when they get all mushy eyed seeing their partner wearing their things :) bonus if they steal something they can't even practically wear for fun/revenge

Her Heart Will Go On - NAY no thank you just kill me, the reader, off too at that point. i sat through a 300k slowburn fic only to have B spontaneously die. And then A had two kids with someone else in the last chapter. THE LAST CHAPTER. DO YOU KNOW HOW INSANE THAT IS-

High School Sweethearts - YAY there are just so many aspects about high school that can make this trope easy to write about, lots of events/topics/settings for inspiration of how they met (e.g. between the bookshelves and one of them sliding a note to the other using a ruler.... may or may not be an experience of someone close to me)

Holding Hands - YAY the little brushes of the thumb for comfort ooooohh ; u ;

I Can’t Believe a Guy Like You Would Notice Me - NAY if it leans less into "a guy like you" (as in they're just literally max stats and on a different social/economic field compared to everyone else) and too much into the "not like other girls" (in the toxic way) vibes yknow?? but if it comes from a place of genuine insecurity and it becomes an opportunity for some sweet reassurances then ok we ball

I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On - YAY 100% it makes for such good humour, play into it! DO IT AGAIN FOR FUN. WOOO. abuse your newly discovered skill! MAKE THEM MISERABLEEE

I Don’t Want to Ruin Our Friendship - NAY as much as i do understand the real fear that comes along with this and the nuances of changing a relationship from platonic to romantic.... lmao i am reading for a reason GET WITH IT PLEASE DOn'T TEASE ME

I Got You a Drawer - YAY do you know how much you have to care for someone to give them your miscellaneous drawer? the effort they must've put in to put all the shit that was in there, somewhere else?? god, that's peak romance

“I love you” Stigma - NAY just say it, coward >:( I don't mind the build up of it but I dunno I live more for the subtle actions that show I love you more than I do the act of saying it, if that makes sense?

I Want My Beloved to Be Happy - YAY oof yeah, I mean if I'm there to read about those two characters, I probably wouldn't be happy about this ending but LMAOOO I've seen it written well and if it comes from a place of true selflessness then it can be so deliciously bittersweet. Even if it might infuriate me

Imagined Love Triangle - YAY if it's not real or drawn out and it's a way of introducing some tension or realizations of feelings or something something. Weird if it persists as a problem even after it's cleared up

Imagined Innuendo - YAY accidental innuendoes are everywhere and i simply love turning everything into one. It's all about that plausible deniability!!

Inconvenient Attraction - YAY because this was me irl and the frustration that came with it was so annoying and I'm simply built to like this trope and perspective. That, and the reluctance towards admitting attraction makes for great slowburn

Innocent Cohabitation - YAY I love domesticity and there's something about the simplicity of living together and the bond of routine that is wonderful :) that and beating the other person with a pillow because their alarm has been ringing for 20 minutes (surely that leads to romance right?)

Interrupted Intimacy - YAY best when the third party is completely unaware of the cockblocking they're doing and won't take the hint to leave

Intertwined Fingers - YAY again one of those "show it don't say it" methods of affection that I love love love

It Doesn’t Mean Anything - YAY it most definitely did and will mean something LMAO

It’s Not You, It’s Me - NAY I get the principle behind it but if they actually say it like this then I'm gone. I'll be convinced they said it just to rile me up in the audience, knowing it wouldn't be interpreted well HAHA but yeah in principle, fine, as long as you actually communicate wtf "it's me" means and why it's a deal breaker for continuing the relationship

It’s Not You, It’s My Enemies - NAY because if you loved them you'd become the dynamic killer duo and you'd be much stronger together. why the hell would you think they'd be safer away from you and out of your sight?? My g you have to be joking rn

The Lady’s Favour - YAY especially if they treat the item with so much care and tenderness... and if they become reaaaallly tilted when it's damaged or taken away. I just love the idea of them having a prized possession and ahhh. Sentimentality is IN. ((Gilmi was so real for asking for a single strand of hair))

Lap Pillow - NAY because I worry for the person who is the pillow and whether they have to pee or get up to do something and the stress they're under to be STILL. But also YAY because it's cute and running their hands through the other's hair is so sweet and tender and willingly giving up feeling in your legs is so peak romance

Leave the Two Lovebirds Alone - NAY because does this ever work? do they ever actually go back to smooching or romancing or whatever? No!! It breaks tension and creates embarrassment!!

Let’s Wait Awhile - YAY i mean it's always yay if there's prioritizing of comfort and consent, no pressure, and open communication and expectations-if that's how this trope is being used

Like An Old Married Couple - YAY there's something so so heart clenching about knowing the other else like the back of their hand, anticipating their every move--and yet STILL, every once in a while, they do something to surprise them!! Gah!! Yes!! Eat oatmeal and watch day time soaps together in bed while you crochet!

Like Parent, Like Spouse - NAY i thought at first this was using the "god you're JUST like your mom/dad" during an argument and I would've cried hell yes bc that's just the RIGHT thing to say during an argument to make for an explosive angsty story and- anyway yeah I'm good

Long Distance Relationship - NAY I need them to cuddle, stat!! Also the issues that arise from this trope can more often than not be solved with communication... and you know what they never do...? Communicate! Effectively!!!

Love Across Battlelines - NAY I've seen this done well before but it's frustrating if the background lore/context of the battlelines are ignored afterwards. Great, you're enemies from opposing sides and now you're in love. Wonderful. Now what? I need to know what the now what is. You can't introduce a whole backstory and not follow through/keep it relevant.. surely some of the differences between A and B become a point of conflict later on.

Love at First Punch - YAY I've BEEN saying the height of YA novels back in like 2014ish when every protag punched or fought their love interest at some point... yeah nothing like a concussion to give them heart eyes!! Or enough brain damage to ask them to count to 3 and for their name and contact info. Also leads to the opportunity for IOU requests as compensation for the black eye

Love at First Sight - NAY I'm all about the slow burn and falling in love as they get to know each other and the small quirks and details... the exception is if they fall in love at first sight because of something extremely specific/stupid HAHA

Love Before First Sight - YAY immediately contradicting the trope above to say it'd be so cute if they've ever only heard of the person in passing/what they've done for mutuals and they become infatuated with the idea of meeting them but they coincidentally miss every opportunity to do so and it frustrates them to no END. And then they become a fumbling mess when they do meet. I may or may not have used this trope before and am biased oops-

Love Letter - YAY but only because I'm remembering a story my mom told me where she wrote a letter and put it in a random mailbox. Was it received and flustered the recipient? Yes. Did it end in romance? No. But imagine A randomly dropping a letter and B losing their mind overthinking every interaction afterwards and later finding out A had just written some rizz lines from a tweet they found funny.

Love Makes You Uncreative - NAY I just don't think this trope would bring me joy because I'd be busy ??????-ing. a case of the character misattributing their decreased ability to perform activity/hobby to the one good thing they managed to cultivate in their life, and then them throwing that away?? I'm OK in my corner here thanks

Love Potion - YAY it's used on one person and not the other and it becomes a "this isn't you, you'd NEVER let me have the last slice of cake" type of situation where they try to keep the other from doing things they'd regret when it wears off (OFC little do they know they love each other anyway blah blah)

Love Triangle - NAY no thanks. if I wanted to read about A + C I would've searched for that on its own.

Love Will Lead You Back - NAY if it's some on off on off on off thing or hopeless pining with no moves made for character/circumstance development. YAY for if it's one of those "when will they return from the war" / denial of death because I dunno there's something bittersweet about that kind of delulu (((bring him back please please, it's been two months-)))

Married to the Job - NAY too real man, no need to remind me of work culture and the problems it creates when I'm trying to enjoy some peak entertainment wth

Matchmaker Crush - YAY and can you imagine how silly and devious and fun the attempts to help are? And then character A keeps wondering why B's suggestions get worse and worse and aren't even remotely helpful anymore-

Meet the In-Laws - YAY it's sweet how nervous they are about it and how much prep goes into the meeting. Especially cute if it all goes wrong

Mistaken for Cheating - YAY it could be a good opportunity to show emotional maturity in the way that the characters approach this confrontation/discussion. Or it could be made into a silly interaction, a series of comically impossible events that led to this mistaken interpretation. Or maybe the assumption brings up underlying cracks and flaws already in the relationship and everything goes nuclear (or the opposite--the absence of any reaction because they've already mentally checked out). I think I just have a thing for angst

Motivational Kiss - YAY YES SMOOCHES ALL AROUND PEPPER THEIR FACE MAKE THEM ALL HAPPY AND GIDDY THEY DESERVE ALL THE SUPPORT

Mrs. Hypothetical - YAY cause I love the idea of them being completely lost with their head in the clouds for an entire day and being a bumbling mess just thinking about their Mrs. Hypothetical

My Girl Back Home - NAY would rather they be home with their girl instead of talking so much about her smh

My Own Private “I do” - YAY small and sweet, probably makes things easier for the writer too (lmao trying to fit in every named character in the ceremony would be a nightmare). Win win for everyone

My Sister is off-limits! - YAY depending on the difference in age and some of the language/phrases used. Sometimes it's been done well but other times it's given me the BIG ick.

Necktie Leash - YAY yeah but in my head extra funny if they play into it yellin WOOF WOOF to turn the tables and embarrass the other person

New Old Flame - YAY characters grow and change outside of the view of the audience. It's interesting to see how this growth is portrayed and how it's perceived, and whether it actually makes any difference to their relationship

Oblivious to Love - NAY because I've been frustrated in the past by it being drawn out for way too long. Yes, A is way too mf dense. But for the love of god B SUCKS at communicating to ANY degree of effectiveness. Ahhh!!

Office Romance - YAY I guess it's hot when they refill the photocopier with paper without being asked to whew

Operation: Jealousy - YAY it's okay if it's a one off event for an ex they don't have feelings for anymore and it's purely for animosity or starting shit. Otherwise NAY if they're still actively into their ex/other love interest

Relationship Reveal - YAY but the degrees to which some of these relationships have progressed before being revealed ASTOUND me sometimes. Cute and fine if it's early relationship but no way you've been married for five years and you haven't slipped ONCE to your coworkers

Road Trip Romance - YAY road trips and the stressors of traveling with someone are relationship changing and I stand by this irl and in fiction

Romantic Fake-Real Turn - YAY a classic of course. I could never say no to this trope muah my beloved.

Romantic Wingman - NAY dunno doesn't do it for me, shoo away wingman

Runaway Bride - NAY because I just focus too much on the money and the prep and the stress of all that went into the ceremony and I can't get over that mental block.. like okay you ran away but now what?? Where's your passport you still gotta go HOME after pls this is stressing me out!

Secret Relationship - YAY yes cute little cover story of enemies/strangers but secretly they're quite soft for each other. But they gotta make some progress eventually, I can't sit through 20 chapters of it going nowhere

Sex Equals Love - YAY yeah sex can just be sex, not every character pairing needs to end up in a relationship. But BOY do I love to read about the subtle actions of increased intimacy that show during bed wrestling when feelings do develop and spawn in between sessions.

She Cleans Up Nicely - NAY i like the reverse, have them dress down/see them on their day off when they're wearing literally the worst piece of clothing they own and still look cute

She’s Not My Girfriend - YAY yet

Sickening Sweethearts - YAY bonus points if it annoys the shit out of everyone else and they do it on purpose knowing that

Slap-Slap-Kiss - YAY the tension is unmatched. slap unnecessary but bonus points if it turns them on. extra bonus if they're sparring when it happens

Smithical Marriage - YAY if they play and lean into it for fun

Star-crossed Lovers - NAY shit i'll still read it LMAOO but my heart wants good endings and i've been hurt enough as it is

Surprise Pregnancy - NAY cmon with the way they've been banging there's no WAY it's a surprise be for realllllll

Teacher-Parent Romance - NAY but that's one way to boost your kid's grades lmao

Ten Minutes in the Closet - YAY i grew up with Seven Minutes in Heaven on Quotev and when smut was called lime/lemon okay,, shit was peak at the time LMAOO the TENSIONNNN

There’s Only One Bed - YAY a CLASSIC with potential for anything from comfy cuddles to complaining about the cost of hotel repair charges

They Do - NAY idk i just prefer the journey so much much much more?? could be misunderstanding this one but oh well

Undercover as Lovers - YAY the blurring of lines and overly affectionate touches and nicknames even when there's no one around AHHH "i'm doing this for the mission" no you're not!!

Understanding Boyfriend - YAY why wouldn't I like them to have an understanding boyfriend?? Good for them! I'm glad he's supportive of their decision to become a part time snake wrangler. We love to see that

Wartime Wedding - YAY again, the hold that pirates of the caribbean has on me... but also it never makes me feel good, too much worry in my heart that things will go wrong

Was it All a Lie? - YAY the crestfallen expression on their face, the worried tugging at their lips. the second guessing of all the memories they shared, now tainted with doubt- ANGST. Yes please

Weakness Turns Her On - YAY sure go for it, vulnerability is cool. not sure if this particular trope is at the top of my lists tho! Unless A is selectively vulnerable for B. That's very cool.

When Harry Met Svetlana - NAY you'd think I'd have said yes and I might've in the past but idk!! not doing it for me rn but maybe because I've done almost a hundred of these HAHAHA maybe the james bond vibes just fizzle the potential out for me

Why Can’t I Hate You? - YAY there's just something so human about realizing you can't separate your emotions into little neat boxes. The frustration that comes with that is just lovely

You Must Be Cold - NAY because I'm worried that the other character is now cold and is going to get sick. And it'll now segue into the obligatory "A is sick and B takes care of them" trope. why would you do this. Hug for warmth or run in circles. Everyone, check the weather before you leave the house

Your Favorite - I'm not sure if there a specific trope name for it but I kinda love it when there's a conflict (wow, Min mentioning angst again, who would've thought) and instead of rising to action to argue... A shuts down and dips. Just up and leaves, poof! Gone without a trace. And it leaves B absolutely spiraling. Frantic and desperate, going everywhere, calling everyone. Something about the thought process of B realizing they messed up is just... muah. Love it. A bit toxic? Maybe. Incredibly satisfying (especially when A is objectively right in the argument)? Absolutely.

okay hi. wow. I actually got through it all. this was a good exercise for my brain today, I'm so sorry to anyone who had to scroll past all of this! zzZ

(not edited and I'm sure my opinions tomorrow might change but weeeee)

guys, I wanna know 🥺🥺

what your favorite/least favorite tropes are and why?

I'M CURIOUS AND ALSO LOOKING FOR INSPIRATION JUICE

(i've stopped watching the anime but damn is this a nice gif)

I have included a list of tropes that I found below the cut for you to love/hate 🥺

Accidental Public Confession

Almost Kiss

Anger Born of Worry

Blind Date

Break His/Her Heart to Save Him/Her

Caught in the Rain

Childhood Friends Romance

“Dear John” Letter

Deconfirmed Bachelor

Dying Declaration of Love

Everyone Can See It 

Exiled to the Couch

Fake Relationship

First Cut is the Deepest

First Love

Flirting Under Fire

Forgotten First Meeting

Friendly War

Friends with Benefits

Gibberish in Love

Girl of My Dreams

Green-Eyed Epiphany

Hands-on Approach

Happily Married

Her Boyfriend’s Jacket

Her Heart Will Go On

High School Sweethearts

Holding Hands

I Can’t Believe a Guy Like You Would Notice Me

I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On

I Don’t Want to Ruin Our Friendship

I Got You a Drawer

“I love you” Stigma

I Want My Beloved to Be Happy

Imagined Love Triangle

Imagined Innuendo

Inconvenient Attraction 

Innocent Cohabitation

Interrupted Intimacy

Intertwined Fingers

It Doesn’t Mean Anything

It’s Not You, It’s Me

It’s Not You, It’s My Enemies

The Lady’s Favour

Lap Pillow

Leave the Two Lovebirds Alone

Let’s Wait Awhile

Like An Old Married Couple

Like Parent, Like Spouse

Long Distance Relationship

Love Across Battlelines

Love at First Punch

Love at First Sight

Love Before First Sight

Love Letter

Love Makes You Uncreative

Love Potion

Love Triangle

Love Will Lead You Back

Married to the Job

Matchmaker Crush

Meet the In-Laws

Mistaken for Cheating

Motivational Kiss

Mrs. Hypothetical

My Girl Back Home

My Own Private “I do”

My Sister is off-limits!

Necktie Leash

New Old Flame

Oblivious to Love

Office Romance

Operation: Jealousy

Relationship Reveal

Road Trip Romance

Romantic Fake-Real Turn

Romantic Wingman

Runaway Bride

Secret Relationship

Sex Equals Love

She Cleans Up Nicely

She’s Not My Girfriend

Sickening Sweethearts

Slap-Slap-Kiss

Smithical Marriage

Star-crossed Lovers

Surprise Pregnancy

Teacher-Parent Romance

Ten Minutes in the Closet

There’s Only One Bed

They Do

Undercover as Lovers

Understanding Boyfriend

Wartime Wedding

Was it All a Lie?

Weakness Turns Her On

When Harry Met Svetlana

Why Can’t I Hate You?

You Must Be Cold

Your Favorite

[strawberry-milktea]

I don't have a mindset that says "I'm better than everyone else and I don't need help from others"...but sometimes I have a mindset that says "Don't let anyone else know you need help--don't let anyone look down on you and think you're weak/stupid." And I know it's basically the same thing because when you boil it down, pride is what's left. I figure God is going to humble me somehow to get rid of it, but do you have any advice you can give to lessen the pain that'll come with it, haha

Hi!

One piece of advice I can give is to never be afraid to ask for help. You aren’t meant to figure out everything on your own.. In addition to God always being with us, He provides us with people who have more experience and knowledge in whichever task or challenge we might be facing who can share what they know. When you find yourself worrying that you will come off “stupid” or “weak”, remember that the person whose help you’ll receive was once in your shoes. Nobody ever starts out as an expert knowing everything, no matter what it is.

Unfortunately, some people do lose sight of what it was to start in that spot and don’t have empathy for the person starting out. I’ve personally experienced these types of individuals several times in the work environment. But thank goodness that’s not how everyone is. So if you come across people who seem to resent giving their help or make comments that make you feel “weak” or “stupid”, remember that this is a problem with them, not you. Always keep in mind that it’s normal to need exposure to and practice with a task in order to truly learn it. If you should find you’ve encountered a person like this, maintain a calm attitude and if possible, avoid relying on the person who treats you this way. Instead, try to get the help you need from someone who has patience and is kind to those who are still learning.

Also, if your pride tries to convince you that people will think poorly of you for needing help, keep in mind how much of a relief it is when you get the support you need! Not asking for help when you genuinely need it is anxiety-inducing and only increases the confusion of the situation. But it’s really a great, calming feeling when someone gives you the help you need in a patient and caring way and you see yourself learning/growing as a result. But you won’t know the relief of that feeling unless you set your pride aside and ask for help when you need it.

Whenever it comes to matters of worrying what others think of you (which I admit I struggle with at times; though with His help, not as much as I once did), I try to remember what His Word says about this:

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” - Galatians 1:10

When pride is at play, many slip into the trap of seeking the approval of flawed human beings - which sometimes leads to decisions and actions that He disapproves of. We should always love others and be concerned if our behavior reflects a poor example of Christ to others. It’s not inherently bad to be concerned about how we are perceived by others - meaning we should be concerned from a spiritual perspective if anything of our behavior could potentially misrepresent Christ to others and/or hurt our ability to witness for Him and help others learn of the Good News. But we should not be worrying what others think in the fleshly sense, such as the root of that concern being our own pride and caring about being approved of or seen as “worthy” in the eyes of others. What truly matters is His approval.. when you consider the fact that by accepting Christ you’ve been made righteous in His eyes, are seen as blameless, and have been given eternal life, it becomes easier to feel less self-conscious about what others think of you in this short time we have here.

I hope you found this helpful, let me know if you would like to discuss this more!