#not tagging this cause ill get jumped again LMAO
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Me: darn there’s nothing in the dhmis tag lately why’s it so slow
Also me: remembering I blocked literally half the fandom who showed any sort of fancop / bigot posting patterns
Me: why. it’s just so quiet.
#I also block ppl if they:#1. depict yellow as a child#2. they draw yellow ugly#3. fluffybird#4. Luke warm takes#5.lesley#6. annoy me even in the slightest way#me: god I wish I had more friends 😔😔#but seriously it’s so much better without half the fandom / role players in tags now#not tagging this cause ill get jumped again LMAO#also I don’t even hate fluffybird (( unlike Mully )) I just think it’s boring and wasted potential#could have the best poly trio art but no I’m forced to starve
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Can I ask what happened with Datakits, I'm in the species and I'm concerned.
this ask is like half a year old at this point so idk if ur still interested. but basically:
(tw suicide)
my ex (who is a datakits moderator) conducted a smear campaign against me. this included completely made up and ridiculous stalking accusations (which were based on me doing things like "talking about a video game with someone" and "following someone on artfight") accusations of "harassment" (because i "vagueposted" by referencing my trauma in the tags of ONE tumblr post. why my ex has such in depth knowledge of everything i post on tumblr when he claimed to want nothing to do with me, i dont know. lmao) etc. he even went so far as to take my attempts at recovery and improving myself after a traumatic event and twist that to be me trying to get back on his good side or whatever. he also outright told ppl to just block me and not talk to me, i'm guessing because his narrative required no one getting my side of things.
some of the people he spread this to were the datakit owners, because me being "too active" in that server was apparently malicious according to him (the actual reason i was very active in the datakits server was because datakits were and still are a special interest of mine and a HUGE comfort to me, and this was abt 2 weeks after i attempted suicide, hence me trying to cope using things i take comfort in???? also i was not given a warning abt being too active, if i was being too active and causing discomfort i should have just been told so)
the datakit owners took his inane bs as 100% fact, did not talk to me abt it, banned and blocked me, and sent my ex to tell me about it. which is horrible species management, but i digress.
once again, this all took place abt 2 weeks after i tried to jump in front of a god damn train. and my ex springing all this on me and spreading shit abt me made me suicidal again. which my ex used to spread that i was "using suicide to guilt him", which is a fucking vile thing to say abt someone who literally just attempted suicide.
i eventually got one of the owners to talk to me and explained the situation.
here's the kicker. even though the owners are now aware of, and fully believe and acknowledge that the shit spread abt me was false, i remain banned, because apparently the shit my ex spread abt me made one of the owners too ~uncomfortable~ with me due to ~associations~/banning me is "irreversible" for some unexplained reason. meanwhile my ex remains a mod and did not face any disciplinary action because "hE gEnUiNelY tHouGht yOu wErE sTaLkiNg hIm" and "he has paranoia and experiences delusions so you being mad at him is ableist actually uwu" (i'm BARELY paraphrasing here)
as someone who ALSO has paranoia and experiences delusions, i honestly find the notion of "mentally ill ppl cant help but spread lies abt ppl uwu" really insulting. but whatever. especially since his actions ACTUALLY ALMOST CAUSED SOMEONE'S DEATH because his little smear campaign caused me enough distress that i attempted suicide again :))))
the owner did keep in contact with me while i was in the psych ward, which was nice i guess except our conversations almost entirely consisted of him defending his and the other owners actions because "ummm in our defense the allegations were ~serious~" and insisting that i shouldnt hold any of this against him or the other owner.
ive been very afraid to talk abt this because my ex also made a point to tell me that he "could do a lot worse to ruin my life if he wanted to", and i believe him. but honestly i dont fucking care anymore
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Phase One: Thor
Since I was looking up my past live-blog of the novel and realising how annoying and repetitive reading through it all is because of my having structured it as a bunch of reblogs, I’ve decided to organize it all into one long-ass post instead. In case anyone else wants to read it in the future. Or in case I decide to re-read it. Because I’m hilarious. 😅
SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO
My Hilarious Yet Wrathful Overview Of Phase One: Thor, Redux
—
If your son who’s to become king requires a babysitter to not screw it all up and also the idea of him being king is stressful enough to put you into a coma, maybe, uh… reconsider doing that? Just a thought.
But you see here why Odin was so deadset on Thor becoming king, despite him being ill-suited for the role. It’s not about what’s best for Asgard; it’s about personal legacy. Thor is Odin’s mini me, and Loki is very much not. There are places within the text where Odin laments Thor “lacking his father’s wisdom” (he’s definitely inherited your humility, though, Odin!), but he hopes for Thor to grow into a “wise king” like himself. Whereas he holds no such illusions (lol, pun) that Loki will ever take after him.
now with tag commentary! #this scene is in the script and both novelizations #(though in reading this novel seems to just be a more complete version of the junior novel? #idk i'm confused because they're supposedly written by different authors but so far the text is identical) #and it drives me insane each time i read it
“Haha, I’m a warmongering piece of shit, isn’t it funny?”
I know, I know. I try to cut Asgard some slack for being such a militaristic culture because social changes happen slowly and when you live for thousands of years per generation, it makes sense that your views on things like war would be regressive. The text says Odin has ruled Asgard for tens of thousands of years (so much for taking Loki’s “give or take 5,000 years” line literally; sure, the Odinsleep would have extended Odin’s lifespan, but by that much? Idk).
Still, fuck Odin. Especially since he’ll eventually try to shame Loki for doing the same thing he’s fucking boasting about here. And on a much smaller scale too.
…is it, though?
I actually think Loki’s relationship with being the centre of attention is really interesting in its complexity and we don’t discuss it enough. I’ve said this before, but he strikes me as the sort of person who craves attention but also wouldn’t really know what to do with it if he had it. He craves it as a result of neglect, because he’s never been shown recognition or validation. This is why he seems to revel in it in Stuttgart, even in (or maybe especially in?) his brainwashed state. But he also frequently comes across as pretty introverted and has horrible self-esteem, so I think on another level, sustained, genuine attention would make him feel kind of uncomfortable. Loki seems to believe that in order to be loved or respected, he has to literally be Thor, though. And Thor has always been the centre of attention, so for Loki, attention is synonymous with respect.
I find Loki’s relationship with wanting attention especially fascinating because I too both crave and fear it. As a borderline, I need it. When no one is paying attention to me, I lose my sense of identity. I feel as though I literally cease to exist. It’s excruciatingly painful. And yet, I have no authentic sense of self; I’m just a chameleon, and the closer people get to me, the more likely it is they’ll see behind my mask. They’ll realise it’s all a show and that I’m actually no one. And then they’ll leave. I can’t help wondering if that’s how Loki feels sometimes too.
Wait, what? You mean goat. His horns are shaped like a goat’s. This is a ram:
This is a goat:
This is Loki:
Do you see now? They’re like a goat. Not a ram. Not a cow. A GOAT.
This book was written before Ragnarok was a thing, so it may be unfair to connect the two, but it still seems worth noting that it was Thor who reduced Loki to being no more than a trickster to begin with. “You could be more,” my ass. Loki’s problem has never been that he was one-dimensional; it was always that the people in his life, including Thor, refused to see any other dimensions to him. Which makes those words particularly cruel—as if they aren’t cruel enough already, what with the physical torture and all.
Always happy to have cause to point out that
Loki was on Thor clean-up duty their whole lives; he certainly was not trying to kill Thor.
People like to point to Loki’s attempted genocide of the Jötnar and attempted(-ish? lol) conquest of Earth as proof that he’s some kind of violent maniac. But in a little place I like to call reality, Loki was historically far less aggressive and bloodthirsty than his peers.
Question: why is one conqueror evil and the other is righteously entitled to ruling over the Nine Realms?
Asgardian exceptionalism FTW
I can’t even begin to imagine what would lead you to expect such a thing, Odin. 😂
Uh, ‘cause it is?? And also their planet is MELTING without it??
This is all only within the first two chapters, btw. Lmao
—
—
—
“Looking for answers,” my foot.
YOU WOULD THINK SO, WOULDN’T YOU??
#i mean unless you knew heimdall #he only commits treason on days that end in y
—
—
What’d I say? Thor clean-up dutyyyyy
Just wanna remind everyone that this
is why he’s smiling during this scene
because it makes me laugh every time. 😂
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My heart breaks every time I remember that second excerpt because literally ALL OF IT happened to him when he survived falling through the wormhole. My poor boy. 😭
But also of note… Loki gets cold (and also does not like being cold). This interests me because 1) as many are aware, the prevalent headcanon that Loki has a low body temperature irritates me and 2) it possibly(?) lends weight to the theory that he may not be fully Jötun, whether by virtue of his birth or Odin’s spell.
Haha, look at this Feminist Icon™ trying to take credit for his female friend’s accomplishments! Truly inspiring.
#for some reason the ragnarok lovers have somehow decided that thor is both a feminist and lesbian icon #whatever that means 🤷♀️ #and i'm still trying very hard to figure out why #is it literally just because he *says* he respects women or whatever in that dumb rambly conversation with valkyrie?
Ooh… you were so close to getting the point, Volstagg. So close. Take your tongue off Odin’s boot for just a couple minutes longer.
Also, the author just forgot the name of the Casket. How did this book get published? 😂
JUST LOOKING FOR ANSWERS, HUH?
Because fuck Loki, amirite? He, uh… he’s a prince too, you know.
Also… Fandral, you dweeb 😂
…am I reading too much into this, or did Odin just literally forget that Loki exists?
On the other hand, the author also seemed to forget Loki existed for most of this chapter, so who knows. 🤷♀️
lmao @ Jane immediately trying to convince herself she’s too rational to be attracted to a stranger
Honestly, though, big mood.
Just your periodic reminder that Thor’s sycophantic friends KNEW Loki was right and decided to throw him under the bus anyway.
Just as I’ve always said: That was it. That was their ENTIRE rationale. That Loki *could* have done it, therefore he must have. Please tell me these people have nothing to do with Asgard’s justice system.
…lol, jk, Asgard has no justice system.
Ok, first of all, no.
Second: thank you, Fandral. You’re a self-absorbed cad, but also evidently Thor’s least stupid friend.
Thirdly, how…? First, it was, “Loki arranged all this because he’s jealous of Thor.” Now they’ve suddenly jumped all the way to, “All of Asgard is in danger.” What exactly does Sif think Loki is planning? He’s gonna, what… assassinate Odin and then sell Asgard to the Jötnar?
—
Please stop hurting me.
Just so there’s no confusion: this one sentence explains everything Loki did for the rest of the movie. It explains how a person who has been historically non-aggressive suddenly transforms into a warmonger. To prove himself a real Asgardian, like his brother and father and grandfather.
—
…why did Odin fall into the Odinsleep in two completely different scenes in this book? I’m super confused.
Also, we really need to talk about how cruel it is of Marvel to keep forcing Loki to prove his loyalty again and again and again when he’s been doing so almost literally since we met him. And by “we need to talk about it”, I mean I need to tie Kevin Feige and co. to a chair and spend a minimum of five hours lecturing them on how poorly they understand their own fucking character.
Let’s just be clear here: they’re talking about Loki. They’re saying Loki, their LEGITIMATE king, is an enemy of Asgard, based on evidence so paper-thin it’s practically invisible. Just… please, let that sink in. Take a moment to appreciate how utterly fucked up that is.
I’m sorry (not really), but Thor was so much funnier before Ragnarok.
This scene has always kind of bugged me. If Odin removed Thor’s powers, how come he can still control the weather? Confusing.
So what exactly was Thor’s plan anyway, before he realised he couldn’t lift Mjölnir? He was just gonna call on Heimdall to help him commit treason AGAIN, show up on Asgard against the expressed command of his king, and… Odin would just shrug and be like, “You got me, son! I guess I can’t keep you down. Welcome home!”?
…I mean, I guess that more or less is what happened in the end, but it’s hard to imagine it would have still gone down that way without all the stuff that happened with Loki. Idk.
#look what i'm saying is... thor is not exactly a thinking person #no one on asgard is a thinking person #except loki but he's crazy now so he's also thinking somewhat poorly lol
Cool, Thor. Now imagine feeling that way for ONE THOUSAND YEARS and develop a little fucking empathy for your brother.
But you won’t.
You’ll brush off his feelings of worthlessness as “imagined slights”. 😒
Nice that somebody knows how the royal line of succession works, I guess…
That sound you hear? Yeah, that’s just my heart breaking. NBD.
First, they mislabelled it the Casket of Eternal Winters. Now it’s the Cask of Ancient Winters. Author must have been thirsty when they wrote this. Lol
Look, not to nitpick, but this is not the recommended procedure when you see a storm that you don’t believe is of supernatural origin coming. I’m just saying. Lol
Uh… ‘cause he is?? And your pals are committing treason AGAIN, Thor, so it technically is responding to a threat to Asgard. Just FYI.
Anyways, this is an important point that doesn’t get made often enough. People want to act like Loki illegally usurped the throne somehow, but even without the deleted scene that explicitly shows Frigga passing rulership to him (a scene which is, for some reason, entirely skipped over in this book, but whatever), understand this: Loki could not have controlled the Destroyer unless he was legitimately King of Asgard. The fact that he’s able to do so is irrefutable proof that his rulership is valid.
lmao you little shit
So… here’s my issue with this scene (and with Thor as a character): He always assumes that Loki’s acting out specifically to hurt him. That Loki’s entire life and thought process revolves around Thor. He does it in this scene, he does it in The Avengers… it’s just a chronic thing with Thor. Everything is viewed through the lens of Loki inexplicably hating him.
But that’s… just not accurate. Yes, Loki harbours a lot of jealousy towards Thor. But that’s not what’s happening in this scene. Loki is not trying to kill Thor here because he wants him dead; he’s doing it because Thor (and his friends) are getting in the way of Loki completing his ultimate goal. Loki tried to solve this problem non-violently, by lying about Odin being dead. It’s Thor’s friends who all but forced his hand by going behind his back and trying to bring Thor back to Asgard against Loki’s (and Odin’s!) direct orders.
For all the humility he’s learned in the past few days, this entire speech is still really all about Thor. About assuming that Loki’s doing this for personal reasons, because he holds a grudge against Thor for some unknown reason. This is implicit in his request to “take [my life] and end this.” It never even occurs to him that his friends are traitors to the Crown and Loki, as King of Asgard, is perhaps justified in pursuing them.
It also needs to be acknowledged that Thor’s apology here is hollow, even if it’s ultimately coming from his heart, because he has no idea what he’s apologising for. “Whatever I have done to wrong you” is not an apology. An apology addresses specific hurtful actions taken and commits to not repeating those mistakes in the future. Thor cannot commit to not repeating the hurtful things he’s done, because he doesn’t know what he’s done. Despite his best intentions, what Thor is doing here is actually kind of manipulative. He’s not addressing any substantive issue between the two of them; he’s just trying to talk Loki down. And it ultimately fails not because Loki doesn’t care or because he wants Thor dead, but because it doesn’t actually change anything.
Finally and only semi-relatedly, we should maybe at some point talk about the fact that Loki, who is stated to be a master tactician, has displayed a weird pattern of hardly ever being as lethal as he could be. He freezes Heimdall in place instead of killing him outright; he backhands Thor with the Destroyer instead of incinerating him; he, well… *gestures vaguely at almost the entirety of the first Avengers movie* Anytime the violence is even a little bit personal, he seems to hedge. Odd behaviour for somebody who’s supposedly super evil.
I’m sorry, I know I’ve pointed it out at least a hundred times before, but I just can’t encounter this scene in any form without taking a moment to appreciate how underrated and hilarious it is.
I also genuinely wonder how many Ragnarok stans who have accused me of having no sense of humour, have failed to laugh at moments like this one. Kinda feel like if you need to have the comedy spoonfed to you in the form of ass jokes, maybe you’re the one whose sense of humour is lacking. 🤷♀️
Let’s be super clear: this is not what happened. Loki did not betray Odin; he was betrayed by Odin. He did not open Asgard to its enemies; he attempted, misguidedly, to destroy Asgard’s enemies. And he most certainly did not commit suicide out of a sense of guilt.
I’m not saying Loki did nothing wrong, nor am I saying he feels no regret for the lives he has taken. What I’m saying is there’s no indication that he believes he betrayed Odin or Asgard in the process. Which makes perfect sense, because he didn’t. Everything he tried to do was for Odin and Asgard. It was misguided and horrible, yes, but it can hardly be classified as a betrayal.
The insurmountable burden on Loki is not that he did terrible things, but that no matter what he does or how hard he tries, Odin will never look at him with anything but contempt. Consider once more these passages from the very beginning of the book, at Thor’s coronation:
—
Consider that this book goes to great pains to point out that Odin favours Thor because Thor is a warrior like him. And yet even when Loki embraces that, even when he acts more war-like than ever before, Odin rejects him— just as he always has.
There is a reason why this moment is the last time Loki will ever call Odin his father. Because he realises once and for all that, no, nothing he tries will ever be good enough; no, Odin won’t ever look at him with pride. That is Loki’s burden. That is why he lets go.
The epilogue is really just two pages of making me want to vomit.
There’s your party where Thor and a certain subset of the fandom insist that Loki was mourned. There’s barely an indication here that anyone even perceives his demise as a negative thing.
“[Sif] could see Frigga thought [Loki was dead] as well” also contradicts the tie-in comic for TDW, so I don’t know what the author is on about there. Unlike the majority of Marvel comics, the tie-in comics are canon to the MCU, so it’s a bizarre statement to make.
COULD YOU SMEAR THE DEAD* ABUSE VICTIM A LITTLE HARDER, PLEASE? Fucking hell.
No matter how many times I encounter this scene, in whatever format, I still fail to become desensitized to how disgusting it is. I realise there’s a good chance that whatever version of events Thor has been told was twisted at best; but how you can look at a man whose son has just committed suicide under any circumstances and say there will never be a better father than that guy, is utterly beyond my capacity to understand.
And Odin’s “you’ve already made me proud” line just feels like extra salt in the wound because, again, Loki let go because he realized Odin would never say those words to him. And yet they come so damn easily when it’s Thor.
Fuck this entire family so much. I think I hate them more than Loki does. Sometimes I wonder what he would think about that. How he would react to knowing that not only is he actually loved, but that he’s so loved that people are genuinely furious at the way he’s been mistreated. That there are people who regularly devolve into full-on rants because they just can’t contain how much anger they have towards the people who hurt him. I think he’d have a hard time wrapping his head around that concept, tbh.
Anyways, to end on a not-completely-depressing note, I’m still waiting for someone at Marvel to explain how Loki knew what Thor said in this scene after plummeting into a wormhole. ‘Cause he references this conversation as Fauxdin at the end of TDW. So like… ?? Did he steal Odin’s memories before he erased them? Because that would be… kind of neat, actually. And very clever. Not entirely ethical, of course, but it’s Odin, so fuck ethics.
WELP, THAT’S IT. Thanks for following along with my dumbassery, hope you enjoyed yourselves. Lol
#phase one: thor#loki meta#thor meta#odin's a+ parenting#frigga's b+ parenting#topic: thor and loki's broken relationship#loki#thor#heimdall#lady sif#the warriors 3#jane foster#ragnarok cinematic universe#mcu#topic: asgardian hypocrisy#topic: asgardian militarism#topic: odin's family dynamic
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Fam I needed to just write something to restart my brain and jumpstart some shit so
Just yeah you can ignore this fic if you’d like but I’d say still maybe give it a read because I don’t even know what I’m doing it’s 6am and I was brainstorming and got this
Angst btw, haven’t done that in a while
Okay but before that look at my baby though like he’s so perfect and precious and I love him sm🥺 so let’s make him suffer more on my blog hm🥰
Proud// Tsukishima Kei x Reader
Word count: 1.6k+
Warnings: Depression, self hatred, self harm, dead reader
Summary: I honestly don’t know at this point I just wrote down everything I could think of
All that clouded his mind were thoughts of disappearing. Staring mindlessly over the school’s rooftop, he felt a sense of euphoria. Maybe it was just his suicidal tendencies, or maybe it was more, but at that very moment, Tsukishima was imagining how it would feel to jump right off. It didn’t matter, really, did it? People took it as a joke. They took his attempts as a joke. “You’re just being overdramatic,” they’d say. “There’s no way you’d ever do that.” “Stop chasing attention.” Even with cuts on his bare skin, nobody reached out. “You wanna die? I’ll buy you pills later, yeah?” Well, yes, he did want to die, but the team never realised he was serious about it. Nobody ever realised he was serious about it. High schoolers took mental illness as a joke anyways. A twisted, disgusting, horrid joke that Tsukishima could do nothing about but smile and laugh along in order to hide his pain.
Except you.
He still remembers the way you would smile at him. God, you were the only one that would do that. How you sat with him in an empty classroom every single day, rubbing circles into his back as you told him everything would be okay. All those library weekends and study dates together, and not once did you ever complain about his need to rant. You were there to listen to him when no one was, yet all good things had to end. You were gone, and he wasn’t sure what to make of your death. It hurt. Everything hurt. His mind wasn’t stable enough to process it.
It was when you finally gave your last breath in that stupid, stupid hospital ward, did he realise how much he needed you. All the times he’s stopped himself from overdosing were because of you. He knew how devastated you would be if one day you woke up to the death of him on the news. You’ve done so much for him, he would never let himself cause you pain. Never. Yet now, he was back to square one. He was alone again. He was left on his own to fight through this dull, torturous, cruel world. He had to push on with his life, yet there was no one here to push on for. His one reason for living was gone.
The rooftop was quite chilly. Wind blew across Tsukishima’s, as if it was slapping him across the face. Did he look good at that moment? Tucking his shirt back in properly, he grabbed a jumper from his bag, pulling that over himself. If he was going to mourn, might as well mourn looking at least decent. He didn’t remember the wind being this cold. Was it always this cold? “Hey (Y/n), do you need a sweater...” He turned around, expecting to face you, when another gush of wind sliced across his cheeks. This was going to take a while to get used to. He used to let you wear his sweaters when it got chilly like this. You would always pull the sleeves over your hands to make sweater paws, the one thing that never failed to make Tsukishima smile stupidly. The extra sweater he habitually brought to school now sat in his backpack, with no one here to wear it. Sure, he could give it to someone else, another girl even, but it wouldn’t feel right. It never would.
“Ahh, it really never lasts does it?”
And he would be right. The best relationships never last for him. Was it a curse? Some kind of sick hex on him? He would never know. Two good relationships down the drain. First his brother, now you. Why didn’t he see the signs? How you oftentimes skipped school without a warning, the way your face went paler and paler by the day, it almost made him laugh at how utterly stupid and unsuspecting he was. How could he have let all those little things slide? He hated himself for not noticing earlier. If he knew he would’ve done anything to make you the happiest person he knew. There were so many things he wanted to do with you. He was planning on bringing you on a date someday, before telling you how he had quit the cutting. He wanted to show you all the constellations someday, as per your request to him. He wanted to feel your arms around him, hands stroking his hair and his neck tickly from you mumbling sweet nothings into it. He wanted to one day hold your hand in his, comparing the sizes as he laced his fingers with yours. He was trying so hard not to disappoint you. He made a promise to himself that he would let you be the first to know, yet that won’t work out now that he can’t tell you anything. He was so close to his goal, going from cuts all over his arm to occasionally a cut or two on his wrist. He could imagine the way you would cover your mouth like you do when you cried at the movies out of joy, before lunging forward and holding him tight, not letting go, just like how you usually would when he made you proud. Would someone else ever do that for him? No, that would be over demanding for anyone else. High schoolers didn’t have time for shit like this. Nobody cared enough to sit there for hours on end trying to unravel the puzzle that is his mind.
He could almost hear you next to him, patting his back and whispering into his ear just like the old days.
“Kei, I’m so sorry. I really am. But I... please don’t hate yourself. Hate me. Hate me for leaving you so soon. Hate me all you want, but never, ever hate yourself. You are the best thing I’ve ever com across. Your poor soul needs to heal, and I promise, I’ll be watching you from above.”
The thought of your last words snapped the fragile string in him as tears rolled down his cheeks, the rooftop breeze blowing them into his mouth. He would never hate you, even if you wanted him to. He simply couldn’t and that goes without question. When he heard about you being in a hospital ward, he practically dropped everything he was doing and zoomed over, praying he could see you at least one last time.
“I... fuck- promise..?”
He shakily held out his pinkie, his eyes shut tightly as he tried to stop the tears. For a moment, he felt your pinkie graze against his, before it fell.
“(Y/n)..? (Y/n) wake up, wake up please! Please, you can’t leave me now, I can’t handle it by myself, please... I’m begging you...”
Your parents stared as the unknown blond boy wailed, pouring his tears onto their child’s hospital bed as he refused to accept it.
“(Y/N)! I’M SORRY, I’M SO, SO SORRY! I’M... I’m sorry, I couldn’t make you the happiest person in the world.”
It’s okay, you thought.
You already did, Kei.
He never got a reply to his question.
“Tsukki? Tsukki! Lunch is about to end!”
“Ah, shit”
Rubbing his eyes, he looked down, eyes painful from crying. Was it already the end of lunch? Probably, but it wouldn’t hurt to skip a class or two once in a while.
“It’s fine Yamaguchi.”
His friend was the most concerned after your death. He knew that Tsukishima was bound to have a hard time accepting the death of his anchor. He may not have realised it himself, but Yamaguchi knew Tsukishima well. And from everything that he’s seen, he was absolutely sure that he was in love with you. He was so in love with you to the point where he would probably never recover from losing you. He could see that you were such an important part of his life, that losing you would be equivalent to dying. Yet now, his best friend was alone again. Yamaguchi never fully understood Tsukishima, you were the only one that was able to dig deep into his mind and console him properly. You were the definition of his comfort and vice versa. The two of you were inseparable. Yamaguchi truly didn’t know how to help at this point. Tsukishima was damaged beyond return.
“Tsukki, I know it’s really hard on you, but I promise it’s going to get better. Please don’t do it even if you think it’s worth it because it’s not. I’m not saying this out of pity. You helped me up at my lowest and I want to do the same for you. Losing you would be losing the person I’m the most thankful for.”
Tsukishima would kill himself with no problem. What stopped him was knowing that even if he did, he wouldn’t be able to meet you. He could never see you again no matter how hard he tried. A person like you, who selflessly helped him during his hardest times, greeted everyone with a smile, you were bound to end up somewhere nice, whether it was heaven, or reincarnated into a millionaire. The universe would never accept someone like himself. He hurt himself and others in many ways, he was going to hell for everything he had done, and although that would be okay with him, a promise was a promise.
So he was going to live.
He was going to live on, stop cutting, and be the best person he could, all in honour of you.
He was going to live and make you, watching him from above, proud, even if the two of you were to never meet again.
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@izzyphantomgamer @sunshines-and-tatertots @tiredgr3mlin @tiger1719 @skyeackermans @macaronnv @ewfilthymundane @samanthaa-leanne @kaylacinderella @inlwlevi @random-fandomlover @majorfangirl37 @itmekisuu @trashcanweeb @sakusasgarbage @eightaces @fandomwriter73 @mariechan123 @iwaigroomi @oyasenpai @sneezefiction @emsvegetables @poppirocks @shoutsukii @bokutokoutarou @artsamber @xonfusedsoul @justachillgirl @just-another-bored-writer
I’M BACK FUCKERS
I’ll do some requests now lmao
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu tsukishima#hq#hq x reader#hq imagines#hq scenarios#hq headcanons#hq tsukishima#hq tsukki#tsukishima#tsukishima kei#tsukishima x reader#haikyuu angst#manga#anime
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Off the Deep End
↝ In a world of supernatural and all powerful quirks, Bakugou is baffled when he has to help a mermaid save her kingdom against his arch nemesis.
PROMPT: “You’re a what now?!”
⋆ PAIRING: prohero!bakugou x mermaid!reader ⋆ WARNINGS/TAGS: swearing ⋆ WORD COUNT: 6011
A/N: Here’s my submission for the @bnhabookclub mermay event! I may or may not have made Monoma the villain because it was funny to me I swear that I don’t hate him lmao. Also I’m sorry if this is probably the worst thing you’ve ever read lol
Tagging: @sipsteainanxiety shay thank you for your sweet words during our sprints. I hope you enjoy this :)
✐posted 5.31.2020✐
“I can’t believe I’m listening to your bullshit right now,” Bakugou grumbled into his phone over the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks, looking around the dock.
“Dude, Sero and I are telling you that there’s something really weird happening around there!” Kaminari urged on the other line, the panic evident in his voice. “I read that so many people patrolled in that area and they said that something fishy’s going on. Just check it out for me?”
Bakugou laughed. “Are you too fucking scared to check it out yourself?”
“No!” Kaminari blurted in annoyance. “It’s just… electricity and water aren’t a good combination.”
“Sounds like a fucking excuse to me but whatever. I’ll see what you’re whining about.” Bakugou hung up shortly after, shoving the device into his back pocket as he walked along the wooden panels. He scanned the area, not seeing anything out of the ordinary or anything to be frightful for. That idiot’s complaining for nothin’...
The only peculiar thing about this sector was that usually docks and ports would have various boats attached to it but this had nothing, just a wooden walkway staring right into the mouth of the ocean. Bakugou shrugged, assuming that his friends were blindly believing blatantly idiotic rumors. He wouldn’t be surprised if this was a prank they were trying to pull either as the pair would often mess around with him and attempt to send him off on wild goose chases.
With that thought in mind, Bakugou walked off into the opposite direction, making his way towards his car so he could get back to his agency until the sound of laughter stopped him in his tracks, one that sounded like bells ringing and echoing in the air. He spun around, eyes averting in all directions to try and locate the source of the melodic laughter. The area was abandoned and the sun beaming in the sky would reveal anyone roaming around easily. That was why Bakugou was even more baffled when the sound repeated, loud enough to be heard over the collision of the splashing waves.
Not thinking twice, Bakugou approached the source of the sound, believing that this was what Kaminari and Sero were so afraid of. He got to the end of the dock, his feet on the edge as he attempted to search for the mysterious voice once more.
“What the fuck am I even doing here?” Bakugou grumbled to himself, deciding to head back after failing to find the voice and once again annoyed with himself for even coming here in the first place.
“Whoa, I didn’t think people actually came on this side of the portside anymore,” a voice quipped just as Bakugou was walking away.
He turned around, taking a few steps back as he gasped to see a person in the water, smiling up at him. “The fuck you think you’re doing?! It’s too dangerous to be in the water!”
You were taken aback by his sudden concern, your lips curling upwards in amusement. “Now this is odd. It’s not everyday a human is worried about me.”
“What are you--” Bakugou stopped as he saw you dove underwater, causing Bakugou to toss his shoes and phone to the side. Even if he was off duty for his job, he was still a hero and he wouldn’t let anyone drown themselves, no matter how stupid they were for doing so.
Just as he was about to begrudgingly jump into the water, your head popped back up, even more amused than you were before. A human was willing to risk his life to save you. Bakugou sighed, irritated that he was even entertaining you or that you were pleased by this in the first place. “You think this is funny? Just get out of the fucking water, you’re wasting my time.”
You laughed, the sound ringing in Bakugou’s ears. “I’m sorry, maybe this will make more sense if I do this.”
Before Bakugou could question what you were doing this time, you swam over to the edge of the dock, hoisting yourself up over one of the many ginormous boulders lodged into the side. Bakugou nearly choked at the sight before him, feeling like his eyes were deceiving him.
But it was not a deception. There you were, sitting atop the boulder, with two shells covering your chest and the rest of your upper body adorned with miniature seashells. Your lower half was inhuman as a large tail, iridescent hues of blue and purple sheen covering it.
“As you can see I’m not human, so you don’t have to worry about me,” you said, grinning from ear-to-ear, completely beguiled by his flabbergasted expression. It was always funny whenever humans reacted this way to seeing you, although it had been years since you’d last seen a human. “I’m a mermaid.”
“Y-You’re a what now?!” Bakugou asked, absolutely bewildered. When Kaminari had informed him about odd occurrences happening in this dock in the past, Bakugou suspected anything but a mermaid to appear.
You maneuvered down the boulder using your arms, settling back in the water and swimming closer to the dock to get a better look at Bakugou. He took a step back, flustered by how intense your staring was. “W-What? Why’re you giving me that weird ass look?”
You chuckled, resting your head in your hands. “The last times humans showed up in this part, they came because they wanted to see the ‘legend’ of the mermaids that live here. And everytime I had to deal with those humans, I had to scare them off so that my people could live in peace. This is the first time someone has come here without any ill intentions.”
Bakugou took a small step forward, looking down to verify once more that your tail was real and not a figment of his imagination. You giggled, lifting your tail up slightly above the water. “It’s real. You weren’t imagining anything.”
Bakugou felt disconcerted by this whole situation, unable to comprehend what to do or how to go about this. He knew he had to return to work soon but he didn’t know how to just walk away from this knowing that you were a full fledged mermaid. You rose a brow at him. “You’re not going to go to your friends and have them come down here, are you? Because I’m really not looking to have a fight with anyone.”
Bakugou shook his head slowly. “It’s none of their business to come down here. I just came ‘cause my friend’s a fucking pussy and was nagging me to check out this area.”
You smiled, grateful and also a little surprised that a human had no desire to exploit you and your species’ existence. “I appreciate it. You know… you’re not that bad. I’ve always despised you humans for everything that you’ve done, but I think you’re pretty okay.”
Bakugou scoffed, looking off to the side. “Whatever.”
You laughed at his reaction, looking up at him and taking in his features. He looked nothing like any human you’d ever seen. His hair was spiky, not budging against the rhythm of the wind beating against it. His eyes were the brightest, most intense shade of scarlet red, making you feel intimidated just by one look. And yet he was handsome, too.
“You’re really pretty, you know that?” You said bluntly.
Bakugou’s eyes widened, his cheeks inflamed. “Shut up! Just mind your business and do whatever fish shit you do. I’m leaving.”
You watched as he stomped off, ten times more amused than you were before. He was interesting to say the least, and you were hoping that he would keep his word and not bring any unwanted attention to your existence. But somehow, you felt like you could trust this beautiful stranger.
***
Since that day, Bakugou felt himself physically and mentally drawn to the dock. He started out by stopping by occasionally, curious to see you once more. Your mere existence intrigued him, although he would never admit it. Slowly with time, his visits became more frequent and you began catching him in his act. So you joined him, talking to the only human you’d ever met that was curious about you solely because he wanted to get to know you.
And you wanted to know more about him, often finding yourself waiting by the boulders for his visits. And the more you two met, the more you learned about one another. It was your first time meeting a pro hero, understanding why Bakugou felt obligated to help you when first meeting you.
And Bakugou learned about you and your kingdom. You were a princess of an underwater kingdom called Coara, guarding your kingdom from prying and nosy humans, many of whom were scientists who would go as far as wanting to dissect you and your people if they had gotten their grubby hands on you. Bakugou frowned whenever he heard the anger in your voice when voicing your opinion on how aggravated and fed up you had been with such pestering people.
You were interesting to say the least. Most people’s first impressions of Bakugou were mostly negative, people often complaining about his abrasiveness or that he was too rude for their liking. But not to you. Even the way he spoke to you was intriguing for you, you finding yourself into him even more than you already were.
But the more you thought about him and were around him, the more you felt unsettled by your new friendship. All your life you had worked to gain this peace that had finally remained. You warned yourself that humans were bad news, vowing to reprimand anyone who so much as approached this area. And yet you wanted to be around Bakugou more and more, feeling disappointed if he didn’t show up on certain days due to his demanding occupation.
And just like any other day, you waited by the boulders, growing impatient as the sun had begun to set, casting an orange hue over the sea. “He’s late…” you muttered to yourself, returning back underwater for the remainder of the night.
Although Bakugou had informed you previously that his job had irregular working times, meaning it was never certain that he was free on certain days, you felt annoyed with him. In fact, for the past few days he hadn’t shown up at your usual spot. Since he never had any way of contacting you, as you were a mermaid and had no reason to be acquainted with human-made technological devices like cell phones, Bakugou was never able to tell you when he wouldn’t be able to see you. If he were being completely honest, he still couldn’t believe that he was regularly meeting with a mermaid in the first place.
So for his lack of visits, you decided to take matters into your own hands.
“I really don’t think this is a good idea, Y/N,” one of your closest friends urged, looking around the dock as it had been quite some time since she had even bothered to go above the surface from the safety of her underwater home.
You waved her off. “It’s fine, Alicia. As long as no one else finds out about this, which is why I trust that you won’t say a word about this to the others.”
Alicia scoffed. “Of course not, Your Highness.”
You gave her a look as she laughed at you teasingly. “You know you’re the only one allowed to not call me that because it weirds me out when you say it.”
She grinned, throwing her arm over your shoulder. “That’s because we’ve been stuck to the hip since day one! I’d do anything for you.”
You smiled softly, looking around the area once more to confirm that no one was watching or listening in. Then you reached over to the dock, pulling yourself up with the help of Alicia pushing the rear of your tail. Twisting your body around you sat back, flexing your tail above water.
“No turning back now!” You exclaimed, placing your hands on your tail and activating your quirk. As you were a mermaid, you still were born with quirks like humans. Similar to how some animals have intellectual type quirk that allow them to communicate with humans, you still had a quirk. Your quirk was Legs, giving you the ability to provide yourself and others with human legs at your command. You could also take them away at will and this quirk only benefited those who didn’t already have legs. It was an odd quirk but it was yours. It was often used in the past, back when the people of Coara were interested in human life, and you and your mother had the same quirk. It was tradition that the first daughter of the royal family inherited this quirk as a means to make amends with the humans. But since you had taken the throne, the selfish science oriented humans had no intention of keeping an alliance as they only wanted to probe and dissect you and your people for their own benefits. It had been years since the last scientist had caused trouble, leaving you and your kingdom with a short period of peace.
And you had every intention of keeping the peace.
Using your quirk, your fingertips created an amber glow, adorning your lustrous tail into two legs. You groaned, stretching your new limbs out in the air. “It’s been a while since I’ve had these. I need to stretch them out.”
Alicia chuckled, retrieving the mound of seaweed she had collected per your request. Her quirk gave her the ability to make cloth and clothing out of any form of vegetation and plants. She needed to utilize her quirk as you couldn’t just waltz around the city with only a shell bra covering your chest and nothing covering your lower body.
“It’s pretty hot out now so I made something more freeing for you to wear,” Alicia said, handing your clothes. You quickly changed into them, slipping on your underwear, top, and shorts. She even made a pair of simple sandals out of coral and branches. In no time, you were ready to head out into the city.
“You really like him, huh?” Alicia asked, staring up at you as you rose to your feet.
You rolled your eyes at her. “We’re friends. He’s the first person I’ve met since I was a child, roaming around the human world by my mother’s side, that has shown genuine compassion and interest in our people.”
Alicia sighed. She knew that this was more than a newfound friendship, however, you were too blinded to understand how you truly felt about Bakugou yourself. Even he didn’t know how he felt about you. “Just be careful. Please.”
You smiled, crouching down in front of her. “It’ll be alright. Trust me. I just want to see him for just a second and I’ll return as soon as possible!”
“Alright. Tell your boyfriend I said ‘hi’!” Alicia called out teasingly, earning a glare from you as you strode off towards the city.
***
It took about twenty minutes for you to find your way into the city as it had been quite some time since your last visit. Nevertheless you made your way through, stopping and asking bystanders for directions to Bakugou’s agency.
On the other hand, Bakugou obviously didn’t suspect a thing. He was patrolling around the sector as he usually did, keeping an eye out for peculiar events. Kirishima joined him that day, walking beside him as the two men strode through the city.
“It’s not everyday that we’re asked to patrol together,” Kirishima commented, waving to a fan who was quite excited for his favorite hero to be out and about in public.
“Makes my life easier so I can leave early,” Bakugou responded as the two turned the corner.
Kirishima glanced over at him. “Why, you got someone you’ve been dying to see?”
Bakugou was startled, regaining his composure to not give any hints. How did he know? “The fuck are you talking about? I’m not seeing anyone.”
“Come on, ever since Kaminari and Sero made you go to that weird place you always seem too busy to hang out with us.” Kirishima looked over at Bakugou as he seemed irritated. He didn’t want anyone to find out about your existence, understanding that you and your people’s lives would be put in danger. And he didn’t know what he would do with himself if he were responsible for anything that could happen to you.
Before Kirishima could prod any further into the matter, the two heroes stopped in their tracks, Bakugou personally getting ever more agitated than he already was at the sight of Monoma standing in their path.
“Monoma, I didn’t know you were in town,” Kirishima said.
Monoma smirked. “I’ve been around. More importantly, looks like Mr. Number One here is going to fall down in the rankings soon enough.”
Bakugou didn’t bother responding, ignoring him and walking right past him, causing Monoma to be taken aback. He turned around, staring Bakugou down. “You’re not even concerned with what I just said?”
Bakugou turned his head around, glaring at Monoma. “I don’t give a single flying fuck about whatever it is you’re running your trap for. I’ve got better things to do than hear you spew out some weird ass bullshit.”
Kirishima stifled his laughter, catching up to Bakugou with a few strides. Monoma’s agency had tried for years now to help Monoma reach his way up to the rankings, only able to reach the number two spot and falling short from Bakugou himself. Bakugou was simply the indisputable best, no matter how hard Monoma tried to dethrone him from the rankings.
And this absolutely infuriated him.
Monoma huffed, annoyed with the blonde who had gotten on his nerves since their days back in U.A. “I guess the rumors are true. You’ve changed these last few months. I wonder why that is…”
Bakugou stopped walking, now a few feet away from Monoma. He didn’t like the way he spoke, his words indicating that he was keeping something from him. For the final time he turned his head, staring daggers in Monoma's direction. “Keep worrying about falling from the rankings instead of being up my ass all the fucking time, dipshit.”
Bakugou kept moving, Kirishima keeping up with his pace as the pair made their way back to Bakugou’s agency. Kirishima chuckled. “Man, I’ve never really liked Monoma but he’s been pretty obsessed with you ever since you were named number one. It’s a little weird if you ask me.”
“I can barely remember that fucker’s name. I really don’t give a shit about what he does, so long as he’s not bothering me,” Bakugou mumbled as the two of them waited by the stoplight at the intersection in front of the agency. The light finally changed to green and Bakugou and Kirishima crossed the street, opening the giant glass doors to the building. Kirishima went over to the receptionists, filing any reports they had to complete.
“Ground Zero, there’s someone here who wanted to see you,” one of the receptionists said. “She’s waiting in the office.”
“Alright,” Bakugou said, mentally agitated as he didn’t want to deal with anyone right now. Nevertheless, he made his way down the hall and into his office, prepared to meet an annoying official working for the government or a crazed reporter that somehow was able to break into his agency. But he was pleasantly surprised to see a woman’s back facing him as he entered his office.
“What is this about?” Bakugou asked the woman curtly.
You turned around, causing Bakugou to nearly stop breathing. He didn’t know how, but you looked even more stunning standing in front of him than you did in your mermaid form. Your hair was slightly damp, the locks curling upwards. But your skin was practically gleaming against the light in the room, your smile sealing the deal that could cause Bakugou’s heart to palpitate irregularly in no time.
Just as he thought you couldn’t amaze him more, you did tenfold. “H-How the…”
You laughed, amused like you always were with the way he tended to be speechless by your mere presence. “Surprised to see me? I thought I’d pay a visit.”
Bakugou was absolutely bewildered, eyes widened and mouth agape with incredulity. “But you’re a fucking mermaid? Where’s your tail? How are you standing? What--”
“I have a quirk that lets me turn my tail into legs,” you stated blankly. “It’s nothing too special, my family has had a long line of inheritance with this quirk and I decided to use it since it’s been a while.”
“And why did you come? I was gonna stop by today,” Bakugou asked, waiting and wanting to hear you say what he wanted to hear.
You paused momentarily, your (E/C) eyes boring into his vermillion ones. You visually travelled down his figure, taking in his hero costume that you hadn’t seen previously. His biceps bulged out, his stature taller than what you had expected. He was even more handsome standing before than he was sitting beside you.
Bakugou felt himself blush under your obvious staring as you didn’t want to mask what you were doing or how you were feeling. You looked back into his eyes. “I missed you, Bakugou. I can’t explain why, but I missed you. And I couldn’t stand waiting idly by for you to come to me. So here I am.”
Before Bakugou could be even more flustered than he already was, the door to his office opened wide, a certain dark-haired man swinging his arm around Bakugou. “It’s been a while, man! Where have you been?” Sero exclaimed excitedly. Kirishima stood behind him at the door and the two men finally acknowledged you, shocked to see such a stunning woman in Bakugou’s office. Sero had stopped by as Kirishima had texted him, letting him know that he and Bakugou were back in the agency. But they were both pleasantly surprised by your presence.
Sero looked over at Bakugou, recognizing the light pink tinted on his cheeks as he smirked, putting two and two together. “Man, so this is what you’ve been doing recently!”
Bakugou glared at him, shaking Sero off him. As he knew two of his closest friends well enough to understand that they would pester you and bombard you with thousands of questions, he took matters into his own hands by grabbing your forearm and leading you out of the office.
Ignoring Kirishima and Sero’s shouts behind him as well as the stares he received from his receptionists, Bakugou led you out of the building and back to the streets. You looked down at where Bakugou was holding you, his hand still warm under his gloves. It was the first time a human had touched you.
Once he could confirm that his friends weren’t behind him following him, Bakugou let go of you, keeping his distance but still walking beside you. He looked off to the side, not wanting you to see his inflamed face. “I’ll walk you back to the dock. It’s not safe for you here.”
You smiled at him. “I appreciate your concern but you don’t have to worry about me. I’ve been amongst humans like this before.”
“Just… let me do this for you, alright?” Bakugou urged gently.
Regardless you nodded, smiling to yourself. Humans were more interesting than they had seemed before, or at least Bakugou was in a league of his own. You wanted to know everything about him, you wanted to constantly be around him, and he was all that was on your mind lately. You were slowly understanding that what you were feeling for him was crossing the line from friendship to something more and it frightened you. All your life you had known humans to be vile, selfish creatures who would do anything for their own gain. But here you were walking beside the most considerate man you’d ever met, exceeding the mermen of your kingdom in both looks and personality.
But as much as you liked him, you didn’t want to pry any further. He was still a human and you were a ruler of a kingdom. You had decided to end things here, savoring and basking in the moment as much as you could until you had to finally cut all ties with Bakugou. And you knew when that moment would arrive, you wouldn’t be able to recover for a while. You had spent almost every evening with him on that dock, your special place with him, talking for hours upon hours. You liked how flustered he would get whenever you complimented his looks or how proud he seemed when he spoke about his occupation and passion. You could hear him talk, even if he was just cursing someone out, all day long. But soon enough, you would never hear from him again.
You shook your head, wanting to rid your mind of such saddening thoughts, deciding to change the subject instead. “Is it okay to leave your friends like that?”
“They’ll live. Your secret is more important right now,” Bakugou said, not realizing how touched you had been by his words. He truly had every intention of keeping your identity a secret and the more you were around him, the more you were falling for him. This was slowly becoming a dangerous situation, but you didn’t care, not in the moment at least.
You looked down at your feet as the two of you made your way back to the dock, the amount of people around you decreasing as you got closer. And the closer you got, the more despondent you became as you realized this was the last moment you would have with him.
“What’s wrong?” Bakugou asked, snapping you away from your thoughts.
You looked up at him abruptly, his scarlet eyes penetrating right through your soul and being. You smiled reassuringly. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” Bakugou looked over at you, deciding to drop the subject once the two of you finally reached the dock.
As you grew closer, a blonde man who you didn’t recognize stood on the dock, looking around the area. He was particularly looking down into the water, directly above your kingdom. You felt your heart stop as you began to become frantic that your home was found.
Bakugou extended his arm in front of you, ceasing your footsteps as you moved to confront the man. “Don’t go. You’ll get in danger. I’ll deal with him.” You looked at Bakugou, who had an expression you had never seen. He was calm and yet his nostrils were flared. You knew he was livid.
Bakugou trudged towards the man, infuriated to see Monoma poking his nose where he didn’t belong. “The fuck do you think you’re doing here?”
Monoma smirked, looking beyond Bakugou’s shoulder to see you, staring you up and down and intently at your legs. You felt disgusted by his gaze, wanting to jump back into the water as soon as possible.
Monoma flicked his gaze back to Bakugou. “The rumors are that you’ve got a girlfriend which is why you’ve been slacking off recently. So I followed you over here a few days ago to see that you’ve got a mermaid by your side now. Even more interesting…” His voice trailed off and he smirked at you as you grimaced under his stare. “She looks exactly like a human.”
He let out a bellowing laugh, exasperating Bakugou even more than he already did with his presence alone. “It’d be a shame if more people found out about this…”
Bakugou didn’t hesitate or think twice to grab Monoma by the collar, his fingers curling against the fabric as uncontrollable sparks emerged from both hands. “If you even think about opening your trap up about this I’ll rip you apart limb from fucking limb.”
Although Monoma wouldn’t admit it, he was slightly intimidated by Bakugou’s threat, but even more so he found this whole situation to have been a stroke of luck. He knew exactly what he had to do. Monoma brought his hand up, grabbing Bakugou’s forearm that was clutching his collar. “Tell you what, I’ll let this whole thing go. If I’m being honest,” his eyes whipped over to you, causing a shiver to go down your spine, “I really don’t give a damn about you and your fish people. That’s the last thing I care about. I’ll let this all go… on one condition.”
“Spit it out, you bitch, you’re testing my patience,” Bakugou snarled through gritted teeth.
Monoma chuckled humorlessly, smirking at you once more. You felt disgusted and defeated all at once. You had promised your people that this was a time for peace, that you wouldn’t let the humans that you hated so much ruin anything for you and your kingdom. And here was a human threatening the life of Coara like the lives of the mermaids and mermen meant nothing and were replaceable.
You wanted to despise humans as much as you had before, but you couldn’t. Not when Bakugou was a human as well.
“I’ll let this go… if you give up your ranking.” Monoma laughed once more, feeling Bakugou’s grip loosen from the shock.
Bakugou had worked day and night, protecting civilians left and right and defeating any villain that came his way to be number one. Even you understood this as Bakugou had explained hero rankings and how hard he worked. You could see he was a respectable man who would do anything to show others his worth. And here was a spineless bastard trying to rip it all away from Bakugou.
Monoma shook Bakugou’s hand from him, smirking cruelly at him. “You see, I know you won’t give up your ranking for some rotten fish. Either way, I’m going to enjoy watching your little girlfriend’s life crumble before your very eyes--”
Before Monoma could yap and run his mouth more than he already had, Bakugou sent a right hook flying, contacting Monoma’s jaw and pummeling him to the floor of the wooden dock. You gasped, not suspecting him to do that, and took a few steps towards him. He turned his head at you, raising his hand to stop you from getting closer. He didn’t know what Monoma would do to you just to spite him. You felt hopeless, wanting to help Bakugou and your people were still in the back of your mind. What was the right thing to do in this situation? What could you do?
Monoma spit the blood out from his mouth, wiping his bloodied lip and rose to his feet. He cackled once more. “I knew you were too much of a coward to do--”
“I’ll do it,” Bakugou said in one breath, causing you and Monoma to be appalled.
“Bakugou! Don’t do it!” You called out in concern. You would do anything for your people but not at the expense of years of hard work Bakugou had put in.
Bakugou ignored you momentarily. “I’ll give it up, my ranking. But if you take back your work I’ll fucking--”
Monoma rose a hand up in the air to cease his threats. “Don’t worry about that, I don’t give a damn about you or your girlfriend.” He extended his hand out at Bakugou, grinning in absolute delight. “We have a deal?”
Bakugou stared at his pale hand, his own fists clenching at his sides. Even so, he didn’t hesitate to shake hands with his nemesis, gripping his hand as tightly as he could. Monoma winced, wriggling his hand from Bakugou’s hold and rubbing it once he got free. Monoma laughed once more, walking past Bakugou and towards you. You stepped to the side, wanting to avoid him at all costs. He looked down at you, smirking. “For some rotten fish, you’re pretty hot.”
You wanted to puke from anger and disgust, staring daggers into his back as he walked away with delight and glee. Monoma waved his hand back. “I’ll send the paperwork to your office tonight, Ground Zero.”
Once he was a considerable distance from you, you ran towards Bakugou, joining him on the dock. “Why did you do that? Why would you give your ranking up?”
Bakugou sighed, looking down at the water and the boulders that you always sat upon during your frequent meetings. He slipped his gloves, boots, and socks off, sitting on the edge of the dock and dipping his feet into the water. You watched as he did so, not understanding his silence. Nonetheless, you joined him, slipping off the sandals Alicia made you and sitting right beside him. This was the closest the two of you had ever physically been.
“It didn’t feel right,” Bakugou said, avoiding your eye contact. “It’s my fucking fault that dipshit found out. I couldn’t just walk away knowing that I was putting you in danger.”
You smiled softly, shaking your head. “I’ve dealt with idiots like him before. I would’ve been fine. But you worked so hard to get where you are now.”
Bakugou turned to face you, his eyes just as intense as they always were. “You don’t get it. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you. A ranking is a fucking ranking. I know I’m the best, that fucknut weaseled his way into becoming the new number one now. But your life means more to me than that.”
You were astonished, blown away by his selflessness. But Bakugou didn’t recognize his actions as being selfless as he continued blaming himself for putting your life in danger. And you recognized this by his hurt expression as he was physically grimacing. You smiled, lifting your hand up and cupping his cheek. Your palms were cold against Bakugou’s cheek, sending tingles down his spine, but your fingertips held the softest touch. “You’re amazing, Bakugou. This isn’t your fault. I don’t blame you, not even a little bit. I chose to see you everyday, I could’ve just stayed in my palace if I didn’t want to see you. But I came here because I like being around you.”
Bakugou stared at you, basking in your beauty. He had never met anyone like you as you were truly a one of kind being. You were tenderhearted, a leader, ambitious, and driven for others. Bakugou knew by now that he had no control over his feelings for you, not giving a damn about the consequences. He wanted to hold you, protect you against anyone who would even think of harming you.
“Do you regret being with me? Do you regret meeting with a human that could harm your people?” Bakugou questioned.
You shook your head, not hesitating to answer immediately. “There isn’t a fiber in me that feels that way. Being with you has given me faith in humanity.” You took back your thoughts earlier, knowing full well you couldn’t abandon him now, not when he protected you.
Bakugou nodded. “Alright. Then don’t mind when I do this.”
Before you could let the words ‘do what?’ escape from your lips, Bakugou closed the gap between the two of you, gently locking your lips with his own. It was a pleasant surprise, making you realize that humans were softer than they seemed. He smelled of burnt sugar, locking in how sweet he truly was. He was gentle despite how caustic he seemed to others. But you knew him, you had spent months with him, and you had no intention of letting him go now.
You pulled away, your chest rising and falling slowly. He was beautiful, more beautiful than you could ever describe into words. You were willing to go off the deep end for him, the stunning human who risked his career for your life. And you had no intention of leaving him.
#bnha bookclub#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsukibakugou#bakugo#katsuki bakugou#bnha bakugou#katsuki bakugo#katsuki#my hero academia#my hero academia imagines#boku no hero academia#boku no hero academia imagines#boku no hero imagines
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Shima Shima Shima please tell us all about your Wonderland AU for Tododeku!!!
Oohhh! Ooohh I would love to okay let’s see
Honestly it would probably just be easier for me to explain the original movie’s plot rather than just. Trying to make sense of what you don’t know with Izuku and everybody else’s involvement so.
Note that all of this is purely from memory having seen the movie once like, a couple weeks ago in theaters LMAO so there’s definitely gonna be some things I’m hazy on. But! The movie’s online now so after I watch it again I’ll update this post with a better summary!
Under the cut for MAJOR spoilers and also bc it got really long!
So! The Wonderland! It’s about a girl named Akane who isn’t terribly self-assured. She has friends and has a good life but she’s sort of…timid, so she doesn’t put herself out there when she should. This causes issues within her group of friends and even with her own mother, who Akane is sort of distanced from.
The day before her birthday, Akane’s mother sends her to meet up with her older friend Chii to receive a birthday gift. Akane does NOT want to go because Chii’s very…overbearing, and excited, and very very outgoing, completely opposite to her. Chii travels all around the world gathering antiques for her shop (mostly light fixtures tho) and is a pro at haggling trades and prices. Akane calls her a witch bc she rips people off sometimes lmao
Akane arrives at the shop and finds a strange slab with an indented handprint. Akane fits her hand into the indent and finds that it fits perfectly!! This causes a reaction which calls upon a resident from Wonderland, an alchemist named Hippocrates, to arrive from Chii’s basement (which is basically just a little storage hole). Chii immediately gets a broom and starts hitting him with it, calling him a creep and an intruder LMAO
Hippocrates explains that Akane is the Goddess of the Green Wind, and that Wonderland needs her help. Next to Akane, on the table, a little doll springs to life, who’s revealed to be a tiny little chibi character named Pipo who works as Hippocrates’ apprentice. (He’d been hiding there all morning, I guess to scope out the person whose hand would fit into the indentation.) Akane’s hand is still stuck in the little slab by the way and she keeps freaking out. She says she absolutely does not want to go to Wonderland to help them, so Hippocrates gifts her with an item called the momentum anchor. Essentially it’s an item that forces a person to keep moving forward and looking ahead when they try to go back. (Basically it’s an item that forces character development which is pretty wild lol) After Akane gets her hand free, the momentum anchor forces her to accompany Hippocrates and Pipo to Wonderland. Chii decides fuck it she’s going on a magical adventure too, and tags along with them!
When they arrive in Wonderland, they end up at the top of a large sort of watchtower/nest for a huge ass bird. Chii befriends the bird, who is protecting her eggs. As they make their way to the nearest town, they run into a man and his mother, whose ride/carriage cart thing was destroyed by an enormous machine that Hippocrates calls the “armored mouse” (because it kinda looks like a mouse). The armored mouse attacks the cart and essentially swallows it, including the sweater that the old lady had made. Inside the armored mouse, the Main Antagonist ™ of Wonderland greets the newcomers. His name is Zan Gu, and he’s intimidating as all hell. He’s not openly cruel, just quiet, and isn’t afraid to assert his villainly dominance. Most of his face is hidden, but he seems to have a skeletal, sort of robotic body. His cohort, a little cat person named Doropo, teases them. Doropo’s basically a mischievous troublemaker who enjoys making fun of others and getting in people’s way.
Zan Gu and Doropo continue on in the machine, and they head straight for the watchtower. The armored mouse starts to tear up the iron staircase, disrupting the tower. Chii rushes over and manages to save one of the bird’s eggs. Hippocrates calls upon the sheep from the nearby town to come help (and they’re HUGE and FLUFFY and adorable). The sheep crowd in on the armored mouse, and Zan Gu is forced to retreat.
The man who they had saved introduces himself as the mayor of the nearest town. The group walks over to the town, surrounded by hundreds of sheep. Hippocrates explains on the way that the land is dying because there’s a lack of water, which is one of the reasons why he brought Akane there. Akane’s like “How the hell am I supposed to help you get your water back”. They pass a gorgeous flower field which slowly gets worse and more dried out.
The villagers are relieved to see Hippocrates there, who is pretty famous in this world bc of his status as an alchemist. They also jump on Akane, super excited that the Green Goddess of the Wind is here to help them! Night falls and Akane freaks out, because she’d obviously wanted to go home like hours ago, and her mother is probably worried. Chii, on the other hand, is super nonchalant about everything that just happened, and is like “Well we’re already here and it’s late so we should stay, it’ll be fine!”
The group has dinner with the mayor while his mother starts to knit a new sweater to replace the one she lost to Zan Gu. Here we get a bit more into Wonderland’s history–the mayor explains that the flowers and sheep are what they use to make these sweaters and other clothing, but they aren’t selling as well as they used to anymore bc of the water crisis. He’d originally been on his way to a place called Sakasatongara Market with his mother to enter her sweater into a contest. Hippocrates takes over and discusses the water crisis in more detail. The original Green Goddess of the Wind had come over 600 years ago, and had saved Wonderland when they were in a similar crisis. Apparently, there’s a ceremony that is performed every year called the drop mist ceremony, which properly distributes water to the whole land. This ceremony is supposed to be performed by the prince, who supposedly has a lot of magical power, coming from a generation of royalty who can control water. According to Hippocrates the prince has been gravely ill over the past year, and this is because his parents had died, leaving him to grieve and become very sick as a result. Hippocrates believes that Akane, being the new Goddess, has the power to heal the prince and allow him to perform the ceremony. Akane again denies that she has any sort of power like that. During all this Chii keeps pointing out contradicitons in Hippocrates’ story and it’s hilarious because it makes him very angry and flustered LMAO and Akane’s like “Chii-chan, you’re being super rude right now”. I can’t remember if it’s here or not, but Akane sees a picture on the wall of the previous Green Goddess, and she looks really familiar…kind of like her mother…?
The next day, the group of four (Hippocrates, Pipo, Akane and Chii) decide they’re going to travel to Sakasatongara Market in order to deliver the mayor’s mother’s sweater to be entered into the contest. The market is on the way to Timeless Rain Castle, where the prince resides. The sweater is placed into Akane’s care, who promises she will deliver it. They’re given a car, which will help greatly with the journey, and then they set off!
Akane and Chii admire the scenery of Wonderland as they travel, but are saddened when they begin to see areas that have a clear lack of water and have died out from neglect. Meanwhile, in a grungy, dark city, Zan Gu approaches a man and brings him more metal. Apparently the armored mouse had been going around collecting metal, which we find out later that it’s so the armored mouse can be upgraded and reinforced even more to wreak more havoc (along with one other essential upgrade, which I’ll get to later). The man says he needs more metal if he wants to make something out of what they have. Zan Gu does his whole “threaten the victim” schtick, and guarantees he’ll bring more, as long as the job gets done. (I might be remembering these sections out of order but it all happens within the same timeframe, more or less.)
Back to Akane and co., they’re driving in the desert and they head right into the biggest fucking dust storm in the world. They take shelter under a large rock, hiding out there until the storm blows over. They were given huge fluffy suits (bascially fursuits) that were made from the sheep. They’re pink and comfy but horribly embarrassing for Hippocrates in particular to wear LMAO but they’re a great shelter for the storm. After the storm subsides, Hippocrates attempts to fix the car, but finds it’s getting late and that they’ll have to wait until the morning to do so. In the middle of the night, Akane wakes up to see Chii standing outside, looking at the stars. It’s absolutely gorgeous and beautiful.
The next morning, Hippocrates fixes the car! Hooray! With that they drive further north and arrive in a very snowy little village. Akane hears more stories about how things were when water was plentiful, and they’re exposed firsthand to how the shortage has caused people to become greedy. Zan Gu shows up while Hippocrates is out refueling and Doropo threatens the inn owner into giving up food and water. Zan Gu has an intense staredown with Akane but doesn’t do anything more before leaving.
Hippocrates sees the armored mouse on the move and follows them. At this point the mouse has been upgraded and looks more terrifying than ever, and can bulldoze and tear things apart much easier. Zan Gu goes to receive new materials, which are revealed to be missiles for a cannon. Hippocrates intervenes, but Doropo uses his magic to turn the alchemist into a fly.
Akane and Chii worry about Hippocrates’ whereabouts, but with some prodding, decide to head to Sakasatongara Market without him since they’re on a bit of a time crunch, seeing as the drop mist ceremony has to be performed the next day. They pass by Hippocrates’ house (but Pipo informs them nobody is there) and Pipo’s childhood home in the trees, where tons of other little chibi sprites hang about. The girls travel through a steep mountain range as Hippocrates tries to guide them–but being a fly, he keeps getting ignored and brushed off, even by Pipo, who can’t tell it’s him. Eventually they have to drive over a rickety wooden bridge, and Chii teases Akane about her nonexistent love life at school in an attempt to keep things lighthearted and distract them from the terrifying ride over the bridge. Akane pokes back and makes fun of Chii for her failed conquests of men. One of the planks breaks and Chii steps on it, and they’re both screaming as they cross the rest of the bridge LOL
At some point during all this we cut to Timeless Rain Castle, where everyone is preparing for the drop mist ceremony. The prince’s closest advisers decide to go up and visit, and it’s revealed that the prince isn’t ill at all–he’s trapped within a little metal doll’s body, a curse placed upon him by Hippocrates’ “rival”. (He’s a good guy tho too, apparently.) This rival has been asleep for a long time, and is nearly impossible to wake because of how hectic his magic is. (We later see a scene in which several guards attempt to rouse him. His house is literally sitting on the edge of a cliff on one corner, the rest of it floating in the air, and he’s sleeping. No wonder they’re cautious about waking him up LMAO) Because this other magical user has been asleep, the prince has been trapped in this form for nearly a year. They scramble to find out a way to revert him to normal before the ceremony the next day.
After that it seems to be easy going for the girls. Pipo warns them nanoseconds before they drive off another bridge–and land in a giant lily pad! They’re on a huge pond now, with koi fish the size of whales. Pipo douses himself with magic dew that lets him breathe underwater and makes sure his clothes don’t get wet. Chii happily jumps in after, and Akane, after hesitating, also joins them. They ride the giant fish, who push the lily pad with their car across the pond. Akane picks up some sea shells at the bottom of the pond and puts them in her pocket to save for later.
Akane, Chii, and Pipo (and Hippocrates, still a fly) finally arrive at Sakasatongara Market!! First they have to go through customs, in which they’re judged by a group of talking cats (which Chii finds HILARIOUS). Akane is declared as a guilty party bc a few days before, she’d pulled her cat’s tail for sitting on her face. Her cat is revealed to be the leader of the group. She’s briefly given a cat tail herself, which is pulled on, so she understands how much it hurts LOL while Chii teases the rest with catnip and treats. They’re allowed entrance into the city. From the distance, they can see the prince arriving as well, presumably in the royal carriage. They have no idea he’s still in doll form.
In the prince’s tent, Hippocrates’ rival finally arrives. (Guess they managed to wake him up lol) The others beg for him to turn the prince back to normal. The wizard points out that the doll they’ve been guarding so carefully all this time is, in fact, not the prince at all. He uses his magic to transform it–revealing that it had just been a stuffed toy, acting as a decoy. Everyone panics, wondering where the actual prince has gone.
Akane and Chii gaze on as Pipo points out the well where the drop mist ceremony takes place. Sitting in the center of the city (which is p much set up like a giant stadium, with steps leading down to the middle), the well is a huge symbol of peace for the land! And it’s a central part of the ceremony, as well. Chii rushes off to bargain and barter while Akane and Pipo go to enter the old lady’s sweater into the contest.
As they’re walking around, they catch sight of Doropo, who just stole goods from a nearby shop. Pipo orders Akane to chase after him, which she does. As they follow him to the outskirts of the city, Pipo realizes that Doropo might be one of his friends from school, another chibi sprite named Ron. Ron had gone on to apprentice with the wizard, and Pipo with Hippocrates, so Ron had always viewed them as rivals.
On the outskirts of the city, Akane and Pipo see that the armored mouse is there. Moved by her own determination, Akane sneaks into the machine to see what Doropo and Zan Gu’s plans are. Hippocrates follows them in.
They catch a conversation between Doropo and Zan Gu. Zan Gu seems to be getting increasingly frustrated and hasty, and Doropo keeps blowing him off. Zan Gu eventually snaps at him, and the truth comes out. Apparently they plan to destroy the well before the ceremony can take place. If this happens, no water will come to Wonderland ever again, essentially dooming everybody. Zan Gu had gathered the missiles and upgraded the machine with a cannon to achieve this. Zan Gu blames Doropo for everything that happened to him, saying that while Doropo is obviously hesitating, he had been the one to transform him into a monster in the first place. Doropo sadly admits that he just didn’t want the prince to hate him…and this is the part that hit me HARD because we realize that Zan Gu has been the prince this whole time!! We get a flashback to when the prince was actually trapped inside the doll. He angrily says to Ron that if he could allow him to speak, he could turn him back, right? Ron makes an attempt, but he’s not that experienced with magic, so it ends up in a total disaster, transforming the prince into a basic corpse.
It’s at this point where things are set into motion. Akane eventually reveals herself. Pipo calls out Doropo on his disguise, and he transforms back into Ron. Zan Gu prepares to bust through the city walls and destroy the well. The wizard releases all of the magic Doropo had caused, making Hippocrates transform back into his regular self. Zan Gu busts into the city, and Hippocrates tries to stop him. Right as he’s lining up to take the shot at the well, Akane grabs onto him and starts her Grand Heroine Speech. She points out that Zan Gu–the prince–was scared, and that’s why he was doing this, because he was trying to run away from his responsibility. The prince explains his story in detail.
The drop mist ceremony, being a very important one among their family for generations, had been successfully performed by his father and grandfather. However, pressure from his parents, peers and all of Wonderland was too much for the prince to handle, so he started to reject any practices of the ceremony. After his parents passed, that pressure became even worse, because he was the only one left able to perform the ceremony properly. He got angry and scared and started to push everyone away and lash out at those who tried to help. Eventually it got so bad that the wizard had to come in and use his magic to transform the prince into the metal doll, essentially trapping him there as punishment and as a way to reflect on his mistakes. This obviously angered the prince, being trapped in a body that couldn’t move or speak, which eventually led to Ron’s involvement and his transformation. The prince wants to destroy it all, either out of revenge or maybe because he just has little to no empathy in this form and is only full of negative emotions, who can say…
Akane goes on to encourage him again despite all this, and tells him he’s not alone, that she promises she’ll be there to help him. She tells him how inspired she’s become traveling through Wonderland, getting to meet all of the wonderful people, and seeing how beautiful it is. She says she wants to save it, and that she wants to help the prince. Her words, and her change, break the curse on the prince, transforming him back into his adorable princely self. The prince agrees to perform the ceremony. Chii meets up with the group and apologizes to Akane for leaving her alone to deal with everything. Akane asks Hippocrates if they can make another momentum anchor for the prince, because the one she has helped her a lot along her journey and pushed her in the right direction, and she feels like that’s what the prince needs, too. Akane promises to return the next morning before the ceremony to be there for the prince.
Hippocrates, Akane, Chii and Pipo travel back to the alchemist’s house. Together they spend the night making a new momentum anchor, which requires a lot of magic. Akane gives it her all to help! They successfully make a new one, and hurry back to Sakasatongara Market. It’s morning now. Akane rushes to greet the prince, and gifts him with the anchor. She says that they match now, both having anchors. (The prince gets all soft and blushy and it’s very cute.) The prince talks with his adviser, who warns him what will happen if the ceremony fails. The prince knows it’s a huge price to pay, but says he’s ready to do it.
Akane is dressed up in Green Goddess robes, similar to the ones her mother wore. She and the prince cross the bridge which hangs over the well, which is so deep that you can’t even see the bottom. With Akane’s encouragement, the prince performs the ceremony. Nothing happens. The prince knows what has to be done–he strides up to the edge and prepares to throw himself in. Akane understandably freaks out and tries to stop him. The prince explains that if the ceremony fails the performer has to offer their body as a sacrifice to make water flow again. Akane’s like I’m NOT letting you do that, and the two of them start to struggle. The prince manages to make it to the edge–and Akane topples over with him. Both of them fall into the well.
Before they hit the bottom and inevitably die, they’re saved by the wizard. He explains that it was basically a sort of test–the prince had to show he was willing enough to make a sacrifice that big. He says that Akane is special, and that the prince should thank her properly for all her help. They’re sent back up to the bridge! The ceremony begins, and the prince rushes to get into position. The well erupts with water, straight up into the sky, an enormous geyser for all the world to see. The prince takes out his sword and starts to slice the water with it, which turns them into water birds. The water birds fly all over Wonderland and rain down on the land, restoring its vitality. He turns to face Akane to see that she is crying in joy, as is Chii.
After the ceremony ends, Akane and Chii go with Hippocrates and Pipo to return to their world. Akane frets over how much time has passed since they left. Hippocrates explains that, while three days have passed in Wonderland, only three hours have passed in their world. Akane and Chii realize that if they were ever to return, everyone they met probably wouldn’t be there anymore. Apparently the original slab with the hand print Akane’s mother had made was repaired–and Akane stumbles right into the wet plaster, printing her hand there for the next generation. She attempts to give the momentum anchor back to Hippocrates, but he tells her that it had vanished a long time ago, and that Akane had been moving forward by her own momentum and decisions. Akane and Chii kiss Pipo goodbye, and they say their farewells. Hippocrates gifts Akane with a little textile with a sword on it. They head back…and emerge from the basement of Chii’s shop. When they look back at it again, it’s just the storage compartment, and nothing else. Their adventure is over.
Chii goes to take a long nap. Akane rushes home to see her mother. By now she’s made the connection that her mother was the original Green Goddess of the Wind, who saved Wonderland over 25 years ago. Her mother notices the textile and compares it to the same one Akane has in her room. Akane thinks that she feels a lot closer to her mother now. And that’s where the movie ends!
Ofc there’s tons of extra stuff that I missed LMAO but that is the basic plot of the whole thing. Now, as for the AU…Izuku is Akane, obviously, but instead of having her reluctance to go on an adventure, he’s willing, but doesn’t think he’s worthy of being a hero to anyone, and is constantly stopped because of his own fear.
Ochako is Chii–she fits perfectly with her personality lol. Iida is Hippocrates, both being super punctual and easy to fluster. Kirishima is Pipo, and Bakugou is Ron/Doropo–good fits with their characters, and also. Kiribaku moments? *eyes emoji* Todoroki is obviously the prince/Zan Gu! In the AU I’m probably going to extend things a bit further, so Izuku and Ochako stay in Wonderland a bit longer, and Todoroki falls in love with Izuku >:’D As for the smaller roles, I haven’t really decided those yet. Toshi is probably going to be the mayor, and Nana as the old lady. I’ve gotta rewatch the movie again to help me decide on the rest :’D
Buuut yeah! I’m gonna take a lot of liberties with the AU and expand on the movie waaay more, and try to fill in all the plot holes. A lot of the narration felt really abrupt so I’m gonna have fun weaving it all together so it flows! And tons of Tododeku moments because uh YEAH
That’s all for now!! If you’ve got more questions hmu, I’m super down to chat about this more!
#Shima answers questions#The Wonderland#Birthday Wonderland#The Wonderland spoilers#Tododeku#BNHA#Boku no Hero Academia#My Hero Academia#MHA#The Wonderland AU#Shima's AUs#Izuku Midoriya#Shouto Todoroki#Katsuki Bakugou#Eijirou Kirishima#Tenya Iida#Ochako Uraraka#Long post#I'M SORRY IT'S LIKE SUUUPER LONG AMDKASMDALDS
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50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked
tagged by @awkward-ghostt thank u for tagging ! (:
1. What is the color of your hairbrush?: patterns w different shades of blue at home and plain black at my moms(pretty much my second home, im here a lot)
2. Name a food you never eat?: fish, seafood in general, hate it
3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?: uhh, seems to depend tbh
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?: watching a Thai ..drama? I think its considered one. Paused it to fuck around on youtube though
5. What is your favorite candy bar?: payday I guess, dont really like candy bars, not much of a chocolate fan
6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event?: a few times yes
7. What is the last thing you said out loud?: 'dunno, been a minute. Think I said thanks or something
8. What is your favorite ice cream?: probably bubblegum cause I like the bubblegum pieces
9. What was the last thing you had to drink?: ..strawberry milk..
10. Do you like your wallet?: yah! its a little big, but overall nice ig
11. What was the last thing you ate?: hot chips
12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?: last weekend no but a few weekends ago ye
13. The last sporting event you watched?: dont usually watch them, think it was baseball, dunno for sure
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?: kettle corn or just lightly salted
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?: one of my best buds
16. Ever go camping?: never been no
17. Do you take vitamins?: nah, probably need to
18. Do you go to church every Sunday?: nope! not religious at all, last I went was many years ago
19. Do you have a tan?: im pale as hell tbh
20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?: Chinese, not a fan of pizza, will eat it but not my go to
21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?: I dont usually drink it, but I use straws for most drinks in general
22. What color socks do you usually wear?: ones with patterns, sometimes colorful socks or black
23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?: i don’t have a license, cause I hate driving(I can just rather not) BUT when I do drive, which is rare, then yeah. Seems that and too wide turns are my bad habits
24. What terrifies you?: oof lets not
25. Look to your left, what do you see?: a wall and a window
26. What chore do you hate?: folding clothes
27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?: nothing in particular
28. What’s your favorite soda?: if I do drink it I tend to go for fruit flavors
29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?: depends who Im with
30. Who’s the last person you talked to?: same best bud as above
31. Favorite cut of beef?: I dont like meat really
32. Last song you listened to?: as im typing this its Bang by AJR, Im not calling you a liar by Florence + The Machine, the dragon age 2 end credit version as I finish this
33. Last book you read?: uhh.. jeez, book? Mo Dao Zu Shi, nearly a year ago, typically read webtoons, comics, manga, fics, novels have been tough lately
34. Favorite day of the week?: dont have one
35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?: not at all! dyslexia whats up
36. How do you like your coffee?: dont really drink it for reasons but if I do I pour lots of sugar and cream/milk, sometimes add a flavoring. More of a tea person out of the two
37. Favorite pair of shoes?: in general crocs lmao, comfy
38. The time you normally go to sleep?: changes too much, insomnia n all
39. The time you normally get up?: also changes too much
40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?: both
41. How many blankets on your bed?: depends on the temp, rn I /use/ one but have like... 3 on my bed or somethin
42. Describe your kitchen plates: we use paper plates mostly, the plates we do have are old basic blue hard plastic ones
43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?: not really, drinking makes me feel awful as hell and sleepy, yes im a lightweight/ dont handle alcohol great, but my go to at home is coconut rum with whatever juice is around and changes when im out
44. Do you play cards?: never get the chance, but its fun
45. What color is your car?: dont own one
46. Can you change a tire?: I havent learned, probably should
47. Your favorite province?: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
48. Favorite job you’ve ever had?: wasnt the main part of my job but shockingly liked interviewing people, wouldnt call it my fav, havent had a lot of experience
49. How did you get your biggest scar?: my cat tried to jump on the chair I was in, didnt work out as he planned, got two matching scars on my arm from it
50. What did you do today that made someone else happy?: probably giving the ^friend mentioned above a kitten somebody dumped at my moms house that I (sadly) couldnt keep
thanks for tagging again!★ I do like doing these, just took awhile to get to
Ill tag @nyxiiis @yesitisijessie and @willowfreakgaming @nerdypotaoe
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Lee Daehwi Super Powers Au
Waddup So this was written yesterday and idk whether to do a powers au so I guess this is just a try??
In other news I got Seventeens new album for my bday today and got The8 i am blessed. Anywhere, here we go. also pls tell me if I need to tag any triggers, I’m not great at this stuff whoops.
• Lemme get one thing straight, you didn’t want to use your ability for bad, • It just kinda happened that you became a theif, • You were trapped, • You were a teen when you got dragged into a whole mess of a gang, when you went to take out a loan to pay for treatment for your brother’s illness, • Because your brother was the most important thing to you but your family couldn’t afford his treatment, • But you didn’t realise the loan company was actually kinda not a company and you had just officially ruined your life,
• With gastronomic Interest, you had to pay them back the money with no way of being able to do it, • Read the small print y'all, • So they offered you another option: you hated it but there was no other way to help your brother, and they threatened to cut your brother’s treatment if you stepped out of line, • And in a world made with certain people who had abilities, they made sure to utilize yours, • Aka the ability to change your appearance and voice to fit it, • They had you as a thief, and with your skill and ability you quickly became notorious around the city, • Which made you extremely paranoid, causing you to constantly switch appearances, • I don’t mean switching looks every minute or something bizarre, • I mean you never showed your true appearance anymore, you were always someone else and started to panic at the thought of people seeing the real you, • So you stayed in your place by day planning heists the gang had sent you to do, and went on the missions by night, • And you hated everything about the way you lived, but you knew your brother was getting better, so you kept at it, • The gang sent you a particularly dangerous heist one night, and you did not think it was a wise idea at all, • Like there were shit tonnes of guards and cameras and the switch overs were smooth and the codes hard to crack, • As a thief, you were known to be able to go in and out before anyone would even realise anything was gone, shifting into guards or ceo’s or customers, • And you trained your ability to perfection, having no flaws in your transformation and being able to quickly switch features, • A master™ • But you plan this near impossible heist anyway because you have to, you have everything to lose, • And while bits of the heist are a bit by chance or freestyle, • You hate yourself for being quite confidant, as always, • But heists had started going wrong lately, • A guard unconvinced and almost omniscient, • Or the whole place closed for a day as if they already knew, • Little things going wrong preventing the heists and causing them to go wrong, • You didn’t know how because they were all planned to perfection, but something was happening, • You heard whispers of a mole but no one ever told you anything so you had no idea really, • So you’re dropped off by the usual gruff looking men who are going to wait down the street, safe for them, • You where dressed as a medium height middle aged woman with brown hair, trying to blend in with the people around you,
• Like a chameleon damn, • You float into the bank and act naturally, milling around the atm’s and looking at posters, • A boy around your actual age seems to keep glancing at you, which sets your nerves off, • Not only is he cute, it’d be insanely weird for someone his age to be staring at a middle aged lady, • You try to sway away from his prying eyes and keep your heart at normal pace and prevent your hands shaking, • You always got nerves before a heist and this dude really wasn’t helping, • At all, • Smh doesn’t he know it’s rude to stare? • You’re nearly set on going over there and telling him yourself, but with your ‘can I see the manager’ hair style you play your role and send him a disapproving mum glare and shake you head, moving on, • Perfect, v realistic, • But the dude doesn’t stop sending u shady side eyes, so you decide to get the hell on with it, • So your eyes scan the floor before slipping into a side door, • Smooth as always, might I add, • You change your appearance quickly into a guard and take out a hand mirror quickly to check that you’re perfect, • Indeed you are perfect,
•You were about to take off down the hall when the door slides open again, • You’re about to get into character when the boy from earlier locks eyes with you and lunges, • You dodge as quick as a whippet and a fight™ ensues, • You can tell idk how to write a fight omg, • DW I’ll get better, • You’re both incredibly good to the point you defo know this ain’t just a usual kid who’s taken some martial arts classes, • Because as soon as you dodge one punch and throw your own, he’s dodged that and is launching another assault with a knee or elbow,
• He keeps saying something along the line of 'Stop I’m trying to help’ but you ain’t buying no shady nonsense, • And you’re both getting pretty beaten, bruises and small cuts appearing, a bloody nose or a broken finger, • But shit really hits the fan when a guard comes round the corner and then you’re both in for it, • You’re internally having a meltdown you’ve never had to deal with this before, • And then your tryna fight the boy and the guards and - shit, • A bullet grazes your leg but it instantly burns and shocks you to hell, • Your appearance flickers before returning to the middle aged lady aka the wrong disguise, who0ps, • Your leg burns and the shock throws you off balance long enough for the boy to wrap an arm around your shoulder and have you against a wall in a second, • You’re about to swing your leg back to hit him when chloroform and damn you’re out cold, • Actually outraged in your knocked out state, • Who DaRe? • Like you don’t blame them, you’re a damn thief, tbh you’d probs knock yourself out if you were in their situation, • but hOw DaRe tHey? • And you’re defo worried about who just chloroformed you but whatever, • Idek if you can think all this while passed out but you find a way, • You wake up with someone’s hand on your forehead and you stay still, trying to gather your bearings and figure stuff out before you let them know you’re awake, • I mean the hand thing is so weird but you deal with it you til you gather that your head’s also in someone’s lap and your skin is tingling and you decide this is very weird, • I mean not a hard conclusion to come to but a conclusion all the same, • You slowly open one eye and wow, • Bright lights, • But you soldier through it and stare straight ahead at the face of the boy ahead of you, • You’re about to jump out of your skin but the boys eyes are closed and he looks so peaceful with flawless skin and a slight frown, his brow creased in concentration, • And then you realise your leg doesn’t burn and your hand and knuckles don’t scream like they did before you dropped, • And you realise he’s someone like you, he’s a healer, • And it makes your heart fly with joy, you’ve found someone else with an ability and all of a sudden you feel safer, • Especially because he’s a healer, • But then your eyes trail to your arm and your body and all the safety is thrown away, • You have no disguise, no fake face or fake voice; it’s purely you and it makes you dizzy and sick, • He must sense your panic because his eyes crack open and he smiles widely at you, removing his hand from your forehead, • Wow his smile settles your heart and warms your cheeks, • A million questions run through your foggy brain, where are we and what happened? Who is he and why is he so cute? Where’s the boy from before and what’s going to happen when your former gang know you’re not with them? • “Y/N, right? I’m Daehwi, and give me a sec and I’ll tell you all the gossip,” • While his soft voice is calming when you sit up, a wave of dizziness hits you like a wrecking ball ridden by Miley cirus • (Wow my pop culture references about 5 years too late), •But despite your swimming head you quickly change your skin, opting for the first thing you can think of, which happens to be Daehwi, • You change your hair quickly and alter your face and body to match his within seconds, • You’re kinda embarrassed that you just changed into him but you’re panicking, • While the boy next to you may have seen your face, you’d prefer if no one else would, • “That’s increadible,” • The look on Daehwi’s face, as well has his bubbly laugh, makes you flush but you’re heart is still beating a mile a minute and your chest feels a little too tight, • “While that’s really cool, and I’m really flattered, I thought your natural face was much prettier,” • Your face (or is it Daehwi’s?) blushes violently at the comment but the fact you don’t look like yourself calms you a little, • “A healer, then?” • You ask simply to change the subject, although it’s pretty obvious at this point, • “Yep, not one of the coolest abilities but pretty handy. You’re obviously a shape shifter, damn the whole city knows you’re a shape shifter, but seeing it myself, damn, it’s way cooler than I thought” • He talks in such a laid back manner, leaning back onto his hands, his whole presence relaxing, • He really suits his ability, • “I think healing’s the best ability, you get to help,” • Your voice is quiet but your words are the truth, and you can see Daehwi’s about to reply when the door swings open and the boy from earlier wonders in, doing a double take at the two Daehwi’s sat on the bed and sighing before dropping down into a nearby chair, • He’s hardly met you and he’s already done with your shit lmao, • But you’re eyeing him suspiciously because this guy FRICKEN chloroformed you and you still have no answers as to what the hell is going when he launched into a Hella Long explanation, • To put it simply,
• Daehwi and the boy, Guanlin, are part of an organisation that rescue abilities from sticky situations and tries to stop the people with abilities for using them nastily, • (Avengers who?) • There was indeed a mole in your gang as they planned to rescue you whilst intercepting a heist of yours, • They didn’t expect you to fight so defiantly back but I mean, • So then you explain that you’re really not nasty, I mean you used to put milk in before your cereal but yOu’vE cHanGeD, • You explain your situation and they agreed that they’ll see what they can do for your brother and you feel like you might cry because this is too good to be true, • Half convinced this is some awful experiment or teasing you, • So you spend a few days in the room you wake up in, just in case, in which you discover is actually Daehwi’s room, • Which is kinda awkward, • But you honestly can’t ask for a better first friend in the base they have there, • Daehwi is oh so patient, painfully so, encouraging you to take your time and helps introduce you to the many people in the base, most of which have powers themselves which blows your mind a little
• You’ve never seen so many abilities, • And it takes you a while to trust Guanlin, but as soon as you do you realise he’s just a goof and you apologise endlessly for hurting him, • And you start helping out at the base, doing small missions to help others by using your ability, • And it feels good, • Especially when you can come back to Daehwi at the end of the day and laugh and relax into the night, • And you visit your brother for a very emotional reunion and he’s getting better and life just seems to be good,
• And in the middle of it all is Daehwi, who you would trust with your life, • I mean he is a healer many people trust him with their lives,
• So you’re sat in his room (or your now shared one - you refuse to sleep anywhere else, feeling unsafe) chatting into the night, • When you both reach a lull in conversation, • “Y/N, why do you never walk, or sleep, or eat, or live in your normal skin?” • The question is so out of the blue that your eyes snap to his, • Which rest on you, • They always rest on you, • And you try to figure out a way to say it without feeling stupid, • Because in your mind it is a whole concept and fear, but there aren’t enough words to describe how you feel, and to condense your thoughts into words belittles them endlessly, • “It’s scary, showing your true self. I used to fear people would recognise me and arrest me, for being a thief, but nowadays it’s almost as if I don’t trust people enough. Enough to see my face,” • You pick your words carefully but still feel as if it’s a weak excuse, • “You don’t trust me, y/n?” • His words shock you, make you question yourself, and you look into those soft, open eyes and brace yourself, •You know he’s right as you relax, completely relax for the first time in years, letting all of your facade melt away to show your true skin, your true eyes, your true being, • And there’s something in Daehwi’s eyes that you love as he looks at your pure self,
• You feel insanely exposed but Daehwi himself settles you, • And you know you no longer need to hide yourself from Daehwi anymore when he leans over, wrapping an arm around your real hips, • Cups the back of your head, • And gently smiles and he places his lips on your real ones,
#lee daehwi#daehwi#i always get confused with his name lmao#wanna one#ww1#pd 101#produce 101#imagines#scenarios#headcanons#fanfic#fanfiction#fluff#superpower au#power au#abilities#wanna one scenario#wanna one imagines#og admin
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Writer Asks
Writer Asks
tagged by @wolf08 :) thank you so much for the tag and sorry for being so late, i literally waited until i came home from work. Warning: this is LONG.
1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?
my tumblr url is based on the chronically ill made up term painsomnia. i have always had sleep issues but they got worse when i became ill due to being woken up constantly with pain. my username on FF is ChronicallyChill which is based on, yet again, me being chronically ill.
2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/favourites, follows/subscriptions, visitor hits, kudos)
The Planning Of A Matriarch wins, hands down. I was so insecure and nervous about sharing anything I wrote but it was so well received! But it’s comedy and so much fluff and who doesn’t appreciate a little fluff? I have lost a lot of love for it because it was stolen and the whole event made me feel like shit. I think I owe a lot of it’s popularity to @mycherryqueen because she rec’d it on her blog. I plan on updating by the anniversary of this fic. But I may put it on hiatus indefinitely after that.
3. What is your FFnNet/AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?
I actually don’t have one! I keep thinking I’m going to sit down and draw one or wait until I have the money to commission one of my favorite artists for something. I don’t create anymore but maybe one day I’ll dip back into it so I can finally have a profile icon.
4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?
OMG YES. I get sooo excited when I see familiar guest names or usernames. I get so gooey inside and melt when Spanish speakers leave reviews (I can read Spanish guys, feel free to review in Spanish if that makes you more comfortable!) because they wanna share their love even if they can’t write in English well. I have an absolute fave and I shouldn’t but I can’t help it. Monika aka @mcornilliac leaves the BEST reviews and she reviews every chapter.
5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?
Oh tons. Tons, Tons, Tons! Here’s a few:
The Colors of Midnight by SouthSideStory is possibly my favorite thing they’ve written. I love so many of their SS fics but that’s the one I go back to the most. (also Providence, I love me a soulmate au)
Carrying On by Kiwako
Daimyo’s Daughter by Sakura’s Unicorn (but literally everything of theirs is re-read all of the time)
Spar by D.C. Filbert (warning: major smut)
Life After Detainment by merinxD
You Could See It Change by lavendersakurasasuke (it’s a Gothic Victoria AU but with ninjas!)
Chained by Kirikizu
xxlovendreamsxx has these LOTR AUs....fucking amazing. unfortunately I seem to have lost the link to them
6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?
lol...i’m just gonna say A LOT. I lost some of them when I didn’t have a FF account and if I didn’t I would have way more but trust me... A LOT.
7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?
NON-MASS IS WHERE IT’S AT~ give me more SS non-mass and I will be the happiest person in the world.
8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)
if I’m looking at it right....only 373 (me as an author not the individual works). and I love every single one of them.
9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are 😨 of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)
Sex scenes. I write it but I always feel nervous about them.
10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.
I wish I was more comfortable writing action. Also I do so much dialogue...I feel like it’s too much. I wish I was better at replying to comments (I try! like if someone writes me a hefty comment I’m likely to respond if I’m able to). Updating. If I could I would write and update every day.
11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?
I write for the most popular ship in the Naruto fandom. But I also write ShiItaIzu and as a friend of mine has said before I’m not on an island by myself, I am the island. Google ShiItaIzu and posts to my content is what pops up. my readers seem to like them though so that’s great.
12. How many stories have you posted on FFNet/AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?
5. Soon to be 8 if I ever get to publishing the other three. (not including prompt drafts)
13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?
*maniacal laughter ensues* i have so many....fanfic and original work....some of them are prompts...I’m a mess
14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?
mostly in my head but some things are written down. Most of those are rough drafts already.
15. Have you ever co-authored a story?
No. I’ve made fanfics based off headcanons I practically threw at friends and they told me how they felt about them. But never. I don’t think I ever will, at least not for SS.
16. How did you discover FFNet/AO3?
uh...i have no fucking clue. August of 2016 was when I started loving Naruto again and jumped into consuming all of the SS content I could find. I just googled and read like...everything.
17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on FFNet/AO3?
LOL....fuck no. I actually think I’m pretty insignificant in the Naruto fandom. But that’s okay.
18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?
no. maybe I should.... how about Loves? I’ll try it out in my next author’s note.
19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?
I don’t really have an author that inspired me. But @bkceallaigh is the reason anyone reads my stuff. she encouraged me to write and then finally publish a fanfic. And here we are.
20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?
Write. Write what you feel. Write what you love. Write what makes you happy. Don’t worry about pleasing people, someone is always going to hate. Just write something you would want to read.
21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?
LMAO. no. the closest I actually get to planning is something like “this is my goal. let’s get to it somehow.” i think I've only planned one story and hopefully I’ll post that prompt soon (it’s the Shape of Water AU).
22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?
Duh! I ranted and bitched to my friends. Some of them were sooooo bad. Like when I say bad it’s like they never even read the story or want to fore their interpretation on people. and then some anti-SS found me and decided to trash SS. like thanks...why the fuck are you here? so I will complain but I don’t care to confront them. Just...don’t like then don’t read.
23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)
Smut and action. Mainly ‘cause I want people to see the action in their head when I write but it doesn’t come out right... smut is bad sometimes ‘cause I get a little mechanical and describe the process and forget feeling sometime.
24. What story(s) are you working on now?
Currently I’m mulling over Can I Be Yours? and Kingdom For Two and A Gift From The Universe. I’m really into A Gift From The Universe because it’s non-mass and I’m going to put a lot of focus on InoSai and ShiItaIzu, way more than I’ve done before.
25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?
lol....I have my WIPs going on at the same time....I’m nowhere near finished.
26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?
nope. Just write when I can. And wish that I was writing when I wasn’t.
27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?
I want to say yes.
28. What is your favorite story(s) that you’ve written?
honestly....Kingdom For Two is my fic baby.
29. What is your least favorite story(s) that you’ve written?
The Planning Of A Matriarch actually. Like I could have done so much better. It’s still my baby but it’s the one that embarrasses me the most.
30. Where do you 👀 yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?
hopefully with a finished original work lol
31. What is the easiest thing about writing?
The easiest? I don’t know...I can’t really think about it right now...I guess for me, creating dialogue is the easiest thing....I’m really tired right now and may come back to edit this answer lol
32. What is the hardest thing about writing?
Telling myself to love what I write despite not getting the response that I want. There are people who love what I write and I move them with my writing. And I should appreciate what I get.
33. Why do you write?
It’s...so wonderful to see a world that’s trapped in my head come to life in front of me.
I will tag: @kuriquinn @roraewrites @xxxsasusakuxxx @randomwhorcrux @bkceallaigh and anyone that wants to do this
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ADVENT CALENDAR MEME: Day 3.5 (My First Tumblr RP Character)
Please meet: SCOTT SPARKS
I added this because i apparently like to talk about myself lmao
This isn’t an official part of the meme, but being that I have already started this self-motivated journey down memory lane, I might as well do it right. (And I’m the captain of this ship, so I’m gonna steer it as I damn well please).
As I mentioned in the real Day Three post of this meme, my Tumblr rpg timeline is a little wonky. I really don’t know what inspired me to venture into the Tumblr roleplay tag, but it was certainly a different world then than it is now. There was no fancy formatting, no small text, no resized gifs (or gif icons--or icons at all). It showcased big, clunky gifs accompanied by normal-sized text, usually just consisting of dialogue (or even *gasp* actions mentioned in between asterisks). It was a simpler time, very fun and easygoing. It was much easier to get swept up in creativity when you weren’t afraid to fail, or to do something wrong. And it was certainly far less intimidating that rpgs are now, but maybe I just haven’t gotten used to it yet. Still, I miss it sometimes.
But enough nostalgia--let’s talk about Scott: the character that started it all.
I still play Scott Sparks to this day, but he was very different back in 2013. Nowadays he’s THE MERMAN: blonde frat boy from Los Angeles, always there to offer a joke and most likely found swimming in the ocean (or chugging a beer). But back then, he was THE ADRENALINE JUNKIE: boy struggling with a mental illness, who jumped off cliffs just to feel alive. The rpg had been a dystopian theme, set in a city that had been taken over by soldiers with no way out. It really shaped his personality: he was more serious, more cautious. But at the same time he become more reckless, more hopeless, with less regard for the fragility of his own human life. After his parents had been killed at the city gate trying to escape, it had also triggered an underlying disassociative disorder, which caused him to act in all sorts of unfamiliar ways, involving alternate personalities, blank spaces in his memory, and overall craziness (and a great deal of fun for me :^) ).
Between the tense city setting and his disorder, the rpg had allowed for some really intense, really interesting plots. No matter how tired I was, I’d always tell myself just one more reply,. Even if I was exhausted the next day, it had always been worth it to stay up extra late, just to find out what happened next. To this day, I still haven’t felt that same rush of excitement, that compulsion to stay up and keep the scene going despite how late it got. Perhaps that has something to do with how quick the replies could be turned out. Being that it was just dialogue, you could finish a whole scene in one night if you stayed up late enough. Nowadays, just attempting to write a para after 11:00 PM makes my eyes droop close. But back then (at least in my rpg), para-replies had been rare, so it had been easy to write something while struggling to stay awake. I guess you could say it had been less about the storytelling and more about the story itself. Today, it almost seems like the other way around, but I’ll save that tale for another day.
I really miss playing the original Scott--so much that after the rpg ended, I couldn’t even think of joining another one at first. It spurred a three-year hiatus (not intentionally that long, but after awhile my free time began taken up by other things--mostly a blog, that has since suffered the same, cruel hiatus fate). Years later, I landed myself in a group verse with Scott, and began developing him there. Like I’m sure most characters do in a new setting, he has adapted. He’s become extremely different from when I originally played him four years ago--he had to. Although I'd loved all of his exciting, angsty plots, I knew I can never play him that way again. For one, he had the mental disorder (Tumblr can get awfully taboo about stuff like that, and I wouldn’t want anyone to reject Scott due to a bias before even interacting with him). But besides that, the whole rpg had consisted of so many specific elements stacked together, and I don’t think any character can be the same if you give them a different backstory and setting.
All in all, I love my first version of Scott, but I also love what he has evolved into just as much. Even if he is very different, a few core elements have stayed the same--not to mention he’s a lot more fleshed out characterization-wise that his previous counterpart (I like to think I have grown as a writer since 2013!). So here’s to Scott, the one who started it all. Couldn’t have done it with you, buddy!
For more information about Scott, please see his Muse Tag and Pinterest Board
#god this is so fucking long kill me#2018 resolution: condense#( advent calendar meme )#my edits#( ch. scott sparks | the merman )#i dont expect anyone to read all of this nonsense so its really just for me anyway :^) documenting my rpg journey for no good reason#at least my next one (sarah) doesnt have a long backstory so it's just gonna be all about my poor gay graffiti artist#(for realsies i swear)
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Get to Know Me - Tag Game
thank you for tagging me @lovhatake !!
1. what do you prefer to be called name wise?
Gray or G but when ppl give me nicknames i die, thts nice too
2. when is you birthday?
October 9th!! Thats right, right before Narutos!!!
3. where do you live?
NYC
4. three things you're doing right now
Im jumping between writing, playing ts4 and watching someone play ts4
5. how old are you?
22 yo
6. a fandom that piques your interest
the AoT fandom lowkey because i used to love AoT a few years ago and i’ve been seeing it a lot more again
7. how's the pandemic treating you?
Ngl this has been the worst year ever largely due to the pandemic lmaoo. Im v grateful for the fact that neither I nor any of my family or friends have gotten sick, though. But the pandemic and quarantine has definitely taken a mental toll on me and the people close to me.
8. what song can you not stop listening to right now?
Broken Youth by Nico Touches the Wall!! It’s the 6th Shippuden ending, its soooo good. Also Chanel by Frank Ocean :^)
9. school?
I’ll be starting college classes again in Spring 2021! Most likely still online but I miss campus
10. do you prefer heat or cold?
Heat. I’m anemic, me and cold don’t get along. Then again I hate heat too cause it triggers my asthma. So.. neither :)
11. name one fact that others may not know about you
i actually dont like sasuke lmao 😅 he annoys me. but i do back him
12. are you shy?
A bit, yeah. I think I sorta warm up to people quick enough, though.
13. pronouns?
He/Him but maybe They im ??
14. biggest pet peeve?
Dishonesty
15. what's your favorite "dere" type?
Yandere 😔
16. rate your life 1-10, 1 being very crappy and 10 being the best
Maybe a 5 or 6.. Things have been really rough but I’ve been doing well w staying optimistic lately so
17. what's your main blog?
This one! It used to be @graypng but I keep forgetting about it cause I’m always on here
18. what's something ppl need to know about you before becoming friends?
Sometimes I’m bad at socializing, sometimes I disappear or stop messaging and its never personal, i just have poor mental health lol.
And ill tag @kakashisthickthighs @shiroyasha2001 @azula-uchiha and @asa-kujaku if you guys want to do it!
•Get to know me• Tag game
Why am the only one who has too? @peanutbutterstuffedbagels
Rule: Answer the questions :)
1. What do you prefer to be called name wise?
▪︎Rusty is a fine name itself
2. When is it your birthday?
▪︎November 15th
3. Where do you live?
▪︎ United States
4. Three things your doing right now
▪︎Watching netflix
▪︎Eating a poptart
▪︎Thinking of story ideas
5. How old are you?
A teenager, that's all anybody needs to know
6. A fandom that piques your interest
▪︎Attack on titan
▪︎Haikyuu
▪︎My hero academia
▪︎ demon slayer
7. How's the pandemic treating you?
▪︎I'd rather be fighting in Attack on Titan. Three brothers is worse than a titan.
8. What song can you not stop listening to right now?
▪︎Lost in paradise from jujutsu kaisen ending
9. School?
▪︎Online
10. Do you prefer heat or cold?
▪︎heat cause I'm always freezing all the time
11. Name one fact that others may not no about you?
▪︎back in 1st grade I stole my dad's car keys so I didn't have to go to school that day (it worked cause I'm sneaky like that)
12. Are you shy?
▪︎at first yea, but when you get to know me I dont shut up
13. Pronouns?
▪︎she/her
14. Biggest pet peeve
▪︎i can't stand loud chewing. It ticks me off so much.
15. What's your favorite "dere" type?
▪︎whats that?
16. Rate your life 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best
▪︎a solid 7.6
17. Whats your main blog?
This one, though I really don't have much to post on it. My other one is SPNxQueen but that one is to just read fanfic honestly
18. Whats something people need to know about you before becoming friends?
▪︎I might come off as a bit quiet and standoffish but really I'm grateful anyone would want to talk to me.
I'm not really sure who to tag so if you want to (you def don't have to) @mnhorseowner I'm tagging you. :3
#for the one fact i almost spilled abt my embarrassing first naruto phase but i couldnt do it#only like 1 person knows about it outside of my mom and brothers lmao. maybe one day ill share it again#tag meme
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A “should we know us a little better” tag
RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people
Tagged by @lil-loki THE LAST:
1. Drink: mountain dew
2. Phone call: my dad whoops
3. Text message: kasey!!
4. Song you listened to: uuhhhh Youre Mine by Lola Marsh 5. Time you cried: idk probably like,,3 days ago?
6. Dated someone twice: yes, with multiple people but also with the guy I’m with now!
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: maaany times lma o 8. Been cheated on: yes multiple times 9. Lost someone special: of course, who hasn’t?
10. Been depressed: lmao yeah 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope! LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
12-14: seafoam green, pastelier blues ? and uuhh,,purple because it reminds me of kasey IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends: uhhh ye s I met Lana and Ty through our mutual hate of Kaleb!!
16. Fallen out of love: nope I dont think so
17. Laughed until you cried: probably pft 18. Found out someone was talking about you: in a bad way,,? Ig I did last night??? Idk I dont pay a lot of attention to that stuff 19. Met someone who changed you: in the past year,,no I haven’t 20. Found out who your friends are: I guess i found that out earlier than this past year so,,,no?
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Cody isnt in my facebook list smh so no GENERAL:
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: uh,,,two of them i think?? kasey and my sister??
23. Do you have any pets: two dogs atm but ive had more in the past
24. Do you want to change your name: yes a million times yes
25. What did you do for your last Birthday: uh nothing? We went to dinner downtown and ate cake and opened presents in my sisters dorm room
26. What time did you wake up: at like 12:45 whoops
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: uuhhh either watching youtube or playing gay wars with reb
28. Name something you can’t wait for: for my boyfriend to not be be going through absolute hell in his life
29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like a minute ago she walked in and talked to me about who was playing a new autistic doctor in a show 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i could change how codys life was going rn!!!
31. What are you listening right now: nothing other than the distant sound of The Chew playing in the living room 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no? i dont think so
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: when I dont think before I act and it causes other people to get hurt
34. Most visited Website: idk probably youtube or hangouts 35. Mole/s: u h none 36. Mark/s: some single lonely freckles on my arms,legs,feet, and hands, a really dark birthmark on my back, a lot of scars on my legs and arms and hands, stretch marks on my back and i,,,think thats it??? 37. Childhood dream: idk small me probably wanted a husband/boyfriend and to not work and be a stay at home mom because thats what i grew up thinking i needed to be but that has changed lm ao 38. Hair color: uh its naturally dark brown but rn the shaved part is brown and the long part is blonde
39. Long or short hair: definitely short but the longer part is very floofy :>
40. Do you have a crush on someone: yeye my boyfriend
41. What do you like about yourself: uh?? i really like my hair?? thats the main thing ig, and my hip/collar bones are nice 42. Piercings: lmao no never again
43. Bloodtype: who actually knows this about themselves 44. Nickname: u h idk my sister calls me Arooooon (pronounced like,,maroon), some people call me hecker, i think my new nickname for loki was turdsnot, or we could change it too rufus, and kasey and my boyfriend call me a bunch of cute things like hun or babe or whatever but idk its hard to keep track of 45. Relationship status: taken
46. Zodiac: aries
47. Pronouns: they/them 48. Favorite TV Show: hmmm..probably like,,jojos even though thats an anime
49. Tattoos: i dont have any but i want them real bad
50. Right or left hand: left for writing and eating stuff but i use my right for some things ?
51. Surgery: havent gone through surgery and the thought scares me 52. Piercing: smh i see you asking double questions
53. Sport: not a sporty person but im interested in going into dance?? especially contemporary 55. Vacation: at this point its always to Texas to see my bf and best friend 56. Pair of trainers: what does this even mean?? shoes?? favorite shoes??? i really like my heels ig??? ? ?? ? ?
MORE GENERAL:
57. Eating: i was eating cinnamon toast crunch but i really want a rice bowl from a kobe place near me dfjfk 58. Drinking: mountain dew lmao 59. I’m about to: probably watch youtube and talk to kasey
61. Waiting for: death?? but also my babe 62. Want: to move back to texas bluh 63. Get married: depends on who im with when i need to make that decision but im open to it and id definitely get married to cody in the future if he wanted
64. Career: i dont really know anymore, body painter, special effects artist, journalist??artist?? something different?? idk! ! WHICH IS BETTER?:
65. Hugs or kisses: uuhhh kisses but only with my bf 66. Lips or eyes: hmm..depends?? both are nice 67. Shorter or taller: both have their perks especially when dating either of them, like with cody he can pick me up and carry me around and i have to stand on my toes to kiss him and i love it but with shorter people they can sit in your lap and you can rest your head on theirs and bl uh idk bu t atm taller because i just want to be Held
68. Older or younger: uuhh older cause im real young anyways but not like,,,too much older yknow,,
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: uhh????? ?i dunno??? both are nice ig but neither are important to me?? ?
71. Sensitive or loud: i dont know what this,,means?? like in a person??? it doesnt matter ig both have their perks and downsides to me
72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, i cant stand the thought of hooking up with someone
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: again, both are good and bad HAVE YOU EVER:
74. Kissed a stranger: not a complete stranger no but i wouldnt do it again 75. Drank hard liquor: lmao no ive only had a sip of a frozen daiquiri once 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i havent lost them to a point ive never found them but i slept with my glasses in my bed and couldnt find them for like an hour and cried about it after looking because i hated the feeling of not being able to see and it frustrated me a lot (this sounds like it happened when i was a small child but no it only happened like a year and a half ago) 77. Turned someone down: lmao yes ofc if i said yes to everyone who wanted to date me i would jump around so much and id hate it 78. Sex in the first date: uuhhhh questionably yes? but we had been dating for a long time before that it was just our first proper “go out and see each other” date cause we are long distance yknow 79. Broken someones heart: whoops yeah oh well
80. Had your heart broken: yeyeye 81. Been arrested: lmAO n o
82. Cried when someone died: yes
83. Fallen for a friend: uuh yeah i guess thats what happened with jennie? but i wouldnt say i completely fell for her, ive only been in love once so idk, but i used to become interested in friends DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
84. Yourself: lmao no not at all 85. Miracles: yes and no? but to keep it simple ill just stick with no 86. Love at first sight: uhhh i dont really know tbh, but i dont think i do
87. Santa Claus: no :<
88. Kiss in the first date: depends?? most of the time no tho
89. Angels: dont believe in god so i dont believe in angels either whoops OTHER:
90. Current best friends name: kasey and cody 91. Eyecolor: brown
92. Favorite movie(s): The Little Prince is one of my favorites, Song of the Sea, Moana, just a lot of animated kids movies are really g o od man TAGGED: idk ig,,, @demonicfox15 ? sure you can do it kasey why not this took me,,,so freaking long dkfmkmds
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i was tagged by @milliyum (and ive never done this one before so i guess ill do it lmao)
Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people
THE LAST: 1. Drink: vanilla coke 2. Phone call: my grandma on friday 3. Text message: depends if you count tumblr messages? cause then today a couple hours ago to a friend, if not yesterday around midday to my dad 4. Song you listened to: gorillaz, let me out or the apprentice 5. Time you cried: today bc jake and tallstar and a video reminded me of their last scene and fuck
HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: never dated 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed 8. Been cheated on: lol no 9. Lost someone special: one of my first best friends it was :/ mostly me finding out that she didnt want anything to do w me anymore which fucked up how i am w other ppl haha (^: 10. Been depressed: 24/7 since i was 14 tbh 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yep and yup
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: currently: mint, deep purple, light blue (i think)
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes and i love all of yall <33 16. Fallen out of love: lol no 17. Laughed until you cried: yes!! 18. Found out someone was talking about you: i dont think so? like my parents do sometimes bc uh im very open w them abt my problems like, they know a lot and say they talk abt ways to help and stuff... but other than that, like someone tryin to keep a secret, not really 19. Met someone who changed you: for the better only i think (like actually got to know them) 20. Found out who your friends are: i?? think so???? i dont get this one tbh 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: lol i dont have facebook
GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i dont have fb 23. Do you have any pets: used to have a guinea pig named domino!! (bc he was mostly white w a couple of specs!!) 24. Do you want to change your name: my name is changed already (technicly), not legally yet sadly... but i always didnt really care abt my old name 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: forgot tbh 26. What time did you wake up: uuh i think at around 9am? 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: got drunk w my uncles and aunt and cousins lol 28. Name something you can’t wait for: next warriors book (theyre getting good again anD I WANT TO KNOW WHATS HAPPENING NEXT???), starting hrt soonish hopefully! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: today! my parents dropped me off at home before going to a museum 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: be able to actually pull through w shit and not have my mental bullshit jump in the way of me getting somewhere in life (^: 31. What are you listening right now: cazzette - sleepless 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: who knows, i cant fucking remember half of ppls names tbh 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: bigots, my internet connection 34. Most visited Website: tumblr, youtube, spotify i guess
LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: many on my face, on my arms, my legs, 2 under my boobs, at least one in my armpit, my hands, my feet... 36. Mark/s: i have a bunch of weird marks (stretchmarks maybe but idk) on my thighs 37. Childhood dream: i think i wanted to be like a character designer for movies and games or sth? a game designer at some point... 38. Haircolor: originally dark brown, currentlylight green 39. Long or short hair: prefer short, at longest abt chin length 40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope 41. What do you like about yourself: i try to help others, im creative i think... idk 42. Piercings: nah 43. Bloodtype: idfk 44. Nickname: loxy sometimes, “boo”, idk any others? there might be more? 45. Relationship status: single ofc 46. Zodiac: sagittarius 47. Pronouns: they/them 48. Favorite TV Show: uuh like rick and morty, bojack horseman, mlp tbh 49. Tattoos: none yet but i want a lot 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: once on sth with my bladder or something in that area 52. Hair dyed in different color: yep atm, and probably in the next weeks again 53. Sport: ... riding a bike i guess lol (i used to do horse gymnastics idk what tis called, and just riding, and taekwondo but those are all ages ago) 55. Vacation: i wanna go to malta again,, 56. Pair of trainers: some w daisies and a black and white pair
MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: cheese fondue aaahhhhh 58. Drinking: alcoholic - sweet woodruff liquor, otherwise vanilla coke or tonic water 59. I’m about to: pee tbh 61. Waiting for: sth to happen so i dont have to do sth 62. Want: idk, a lot i guess 63. Get married: uh, probably not... 64. Career: social support worker (???? idk what else to call the area i wanna work in)
WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs, kisses seem :/ 66. Lips or eyes: eyes? 67. Shorter or taller: (this is abt relationships right? fuck, i dont care abt any of these?) 68. Older or younger: / 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: / 71. Sensitive or loud: / 72. Hook up or relationship: / 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: /
HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: lol no 75. Drank hard liquor: yeyup 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: dont have any 77. Turned someone down: yes and it was one of the worst experiences in my life lol 78. Sex in the first date: noope 79. Broken someone’s heart: i mean i dont think so tbh but who knows 80. Had your heart broken: sadly yes (if ppl would just say what they think itdve been easier though like???) 81. Been arrested: nah 82. Cried when someone died: both when i did and didnt know them 83. Fallen for a friend: nope
DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: i guess? 85. Miracles: less and less tbh 86. Love at first sight: idk but not really 87. Santa Claus: noo 88. Kiss in the first date: i mean if you wanna? 89. Angels: like the biblical ones and stuff? no. amazing ppl that exist and make life better? yes, i actually know some!
OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: tbh i can never tell how close i actually am w someone??? i need them to tell me so like?????? 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: atm the princess bride, deadpool or road to el dorado
im tagging whoever want to do this? feel free to say i tagged you!
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clea and nick and a very confusing two day argument @nickatnightwalker
[during daisy’s 420 dash shenanigans]
bythepowerof4nnnno dont encourage her this is bad
nickatnightwalkerim encouraging her to be distracted byh being queen of something clea
bythepowerof4noooooo i dont think its gonna work like that shell just try harder
or maybe not i dontt fucking know i dont know anything
nickatnightwalkersame my guy but it was a chance i was willing to take on behalf of all of us
bythepowerof4ok sure great fingers crossed whatEVER
we are all sooo super grateful
nickatnightwalkeroh this is worse
bythepowerof4that wasnnt even a goov fucking burn
bythepowerof4that was so LAME and she thinks she s so SMART and i hate her
and i dont wanna talk about it actually how are you
nickatnightwalkeri am
dying
bythepowerof4Great
nickatnightwalkeri would have gray hair by now if it were possible for me to have melanin
bythepowerof4youre not helping though!!!!! uoure engaging!!!!!
noo ok not my business
this is meant to be chill i want to be chill
nickatnightwalkerjus wait till the bowl goes around again
nickatnightwalkeri was trying to distract her you kmnow thats the only way to stop the daisymobile
bythepowerof4thats not fair you know thats not fair
nickatnightwalkerwhat waiting for the bowl or the daisymobile
bythepowerof4Both duh
nickatnightwalkeryes i know, and, also unfair that this is happening on 420 day or our lord and savior snoop
bythepowerof4its not fair that we have to deal with this whether it happens or not wee could just like walk away from the weird passive aggressive blogging ccrcle right now if we so chose
yeah????
because this isnt FUN nickolas it is not
nickatnightwalkeri personally am having a loads of fun messing with ines
you have to dea l with everything when it happens so this is just a thign
bythepowerof4oh cool great youre just as bad fantastic news
nickatnightwalkerok i did no t and have not publicly read anybody out yet to date
i only do that privatley and only when it suits me
bythepowerof4:/
://////
bythepowerof4look at u ur being a dick right niw!!!!
nickatnightwalkeroh what to ines
im screwing with her
shes trying to fight me
bythepowerof4because this is soo the best way to deal with that sort of situation
nickatnightwalkerits just funny idk why shes getting all snaked out of shape
bythepowerof4"hot" you dick????
Youre both being gross now stop it!!!
nickatnightwalkera joke
a JOKE
shes a lesiabn
also just like
no
bythepowerof4its not FUNNY nick
neither of you are funny its weird and annoying and embarrassing
nickatnightwalkershe wants ot punch me bc i sias d bite me
i dondt really feel like imobligagated to take her seriously anymore
besides shes a shit so no t only is it funny to watch her blow a gasket over the same google image snatched pic i also like pissing her off
bythepowerof4u arent obligated to fight w her either but ur doing that,, a lot
idk
Im not making sense
nickatnightwalkerthis is brely a fight
[nothing until nick sends the photo]
bythepowerof4im not mad at you and im not mad at her so can you not tag team revenge for once in your fucking life
we're having an almost genuine conversation for once without you interjecting to make fun of me and pretend play matchmaker for shits and giggles so can you please, please cut it out
nickatnightwalkerim not making fun of you
nickatnightwalkerif i was making fun of you itd be a lot meaner
you should be flattered i even considereed encourragign you to go for daisy
[next day]
bythepowerof4hey!! how are you feeling haha, is ur hair still going grey
bythepowerof4im not trying to act like nothing is bad btw i just wanted to start it off nice sorry :/
nickatnightwalkermy hair's moved past being gray and now it's black, so im inadvertently copying misha again
bythepowerof4lmao this is some goth power play shit love it
nickatnightwalkerwhite haired twink is out 2008 gerard way is in
bythepowerof4as it should be!! do you need eyeliner like i don't have any but it would really make the Look
nickatnightwalkerwhy would i need that when i have dry erase markers to just apply liberally to my face
bythepowerof4so resourceful?? pinterest diy that shit
bythepowerof4we can raid the art rooms, get some glue while we're at it and cut a big chunk out of your hair gel budget
nickatnightwalkerdanger with that is potentially overgluing and making it fragile and breakable like glass
bythepowerof4glass bones and paper skin and glass hair also. got it
i mean youre pretty protective of it already i doubt anyone would notice the difference!!
nickatnightwalkerevery morning i break my legs getting out of bed
bythepowerof4do your heart attacks put you to sleep bc i know that feeling
nickatnightwalkeryeah thats why i sleep like four separate times a day
bythepowerof4and i thought that was just a #relateableteen thing
bythepowerof4so not to be weird but is this like. Chilly lackluster banter or are you actually not mad at me
nickatnightwalkerno im pissed
bythepowerof4ok
can i ask why
nickatnightwalkeri mean well first ya came at me for fucking with you which
like i said
i do but it's obvious
then you were a shit to daisy
so
thats that
bythepowerof4iiii mean. you said you wouldnt do that anymore. and then you did. i was just upset
and im sorry about daisy, i told her that too
bythepowerof4like really sorry!!
i just think its weird that someone can say, threaten to kill her and call her a bitch all the time
and youll date him
but i cant get a little upset when we're all high and im having a super stressful few days!!
nickatnightwalkerdo what anymore
bythepowerof4fuck with me
about her
nickatnightwalkerim not
i havent been
bythepowerof4you did though
bythepowerof4like what else was that picture
nickatnightwalkeryou said she was weird and creepy and i sent a picture of her being cute and sweet
bythepowerof4i said she was ACTING weird and creepy which objectively is an accurate description for someone talking about throbbing tentacle dicks and using the word "quivering" in relation to the nether regions of the girl they beat up for fun
but like, what do i know
i dont think shes weird and creepy and thats not what that photo was about im not an idiot
nickatnightwalkerlisten i frankly think everyone needs to reserve their judgment on the moire and daisy situation because it's clearly very complex and beyond the comprehension of mortal men and none of our fucking business to judge one way or another and, yknow, imho, moire has gills and misha smells like magic and youre 4d so maybe also reserve your fucking judgment on who's weird around here anyway
bythepowerof4i know thats why i apologized
nickatnightwalkershe can say shit like that and still be cute and sweet
bythepowerof4but like i said, high and upset and still getting used to this, so u can forgive me for one slip up surely
nickatnightwalkershe contains motherfucking multitudes
bythepowerof4thats not what you were saying though!! you didnt say that
you sent me a picture trying to make me jealous or something, just like she was saying, because obviously i cant have a private conversation with either one of you
nickatnightwalkerif youre jealous thats your problem
bythepowerof4im NOT
you both keep acting like i am thats not fair!!!
nickatnightwalkeri wasnt youre the one who's fixated on it
dont believe i ever said the j word
bythepowerof4i didnt either!! she did!!!
im not fixated on anything i just want to be able to talk to you without you making it about her all the time
nickatnightwalkerweve occasionally talked about more than daisy im p sure
bythepowerof4:/ you know what i meant
nickatnightwalkerwell this IS about her whether you think im continually screwing with you in some single minded attempt to torment you or not
and im not a fan of someone who says theyre her friend telling her shit like that
bythepowerof4i said SORRY it happens ok!!! i feel really awful about it why do you think i was so upset yesterday?
nickatnightwalkeri dont know dude i was baked
bythepowerof4i didnt know that specific thing upset her so much bc no one gave me a rule book for this shit and im never gonna do it again
nickatnightwalkerok cool
im also deciding rightnow this second i dont care if you believe why i sent the picture or not because youre so dead set on me trying to fuck with you ill never change your mind
and for the record
damians never called her a bitch again
nickatnightwalkerand if he tried to kill her, id be more concerned about scraping enough of him up off the sidewalk to fill a bucket
bythepowerof4youre not even gonna try to understand why i might think that
like i could tell you if u gave enough of a shit to listen yeah
nickatnightwalkeris poor self esteem and daisys difficulty with dropping her persona not the right answer
bythepowerof4not quite but thhanks
for that
nickatnightwalkerthats usually what it is
bythepowerof4ok just. Listen for a sec without jumping in to insult me yeah
bythepowerof4the two of you like, obviously tell each other everything. like u straight up reference shit shes obviously told u n vice versa
and that makes it weird cause it feels like im never talking to just you and thats why its weird when u bring her up bc its like, why wouldnt u just tell her whatever i say!!!
bythepowerof4and u keep saying i have a shot w her and telling me how to impress her when i just wanted to brag about winning chicken it didnt have to be a THING u know???
bythepowerof4but like!!! if ur saying that then she knows and it makes it weird!!! like you do that even when you said youd stop and then she accuses me of being jealous of moire and then you immediately send that picture and u can see how i might think it was a fucking team effort
yeah?????
bythepowerof4its weird and intimidating and im not even friends with her i was obviously fooling myself about that but i thought i was friends with you
like not youtwo as a unit or whatever fake setting me up
ok im done but that was stupid so whatever
nickatnightwalkerwell like 1. i dont tell her everything
i know hard concept but just because we talk about a lot of shit which is, yknow, what one does with friends, it doesnt mean we talk about everything
nickatnightwalkerfor instance: didnt know she said you were jealous of moire
bythepowerof4ok
bythepowerof4i believe you im obviously not that big a deal for u guys to bother talking abt me fine
but u can at least see how i might think that given ur whole thing is acting like ur joined at the hip and ganging up on ppl
u know
nickatnightwalkerwait do you want us to talk about you or not clea
nickatnightwalkershe was upset so she told me, i was pissed so i gave you photographic evidence
of the contrary imean
if i know everything about her then when i say youve got a shot i really think im in the best position to be calling that
bythepowerof4thats the problem!! Bc i clearly dont have a shot we dont even talk that much bc i dont even know how to talk to her and that makes it seem like ur pulling it out of ur ass!
nickatnightwalkereither i know everything about her or i dont make up your mind truong
bythepowerof4youre missing the point ok
nickatnightwalkerif the point isnt me giving you the run around to fuck with you not sure what the point is then
bythepowerof4oh my god
nickatnightwalkeris that not literally what you just said
bythepowerof4that is youre just getting bogged down in dumb shit im saying!!
nickatnightwalkeror dyou have your planes in a knot over us telling each other things like, information, like, sharing information about our lives
bythepowerof4stop that i dont give a shit about how the two of you act i just want you to get that its scary!! and it makes it hard for me and you expect me to be so good at this that the second i fuck up youre coming at methis hard
nickatnightwalkerof course i am shes my best friend and youre her friend so it's way worse than some rando ragging on her
bythepowerof4youre MY friend youre like my best friend here because im a fucking mess and youre getting personal about this and its upsetting me it doesnt have to be this intense???
nickatnightwalkerhurting daisy is always gonna be personal clea
nickatnightwalkerand i get you apologized and thats cool and that could be that but to the best of my fucking understanding im not giving you false hope and tbqh honestly, to be honest, actually, youre a decent fucking person and i have a strong preference that daisy go on coffee dates with someone whos not gonna knock her teeth out of her fucking head
bythepowerof4youre that invested and youve never said a single thing to her about it??
do you see how i might come to doubt that
nickatnightwalkeryeah and what the fuck would i say sorry but your weird hate crush kinda gives me the heebs have you ever considered not acting on that and trying to be relatively normal and healthy instead
bythepowerof4so what i have to do everything
nickatnightwalkeridk if youve noticed this but she doesnt really know what shes doing a lot of the time when shes talking to people so you know how i was talking about effort:: reward? thats where that comes in
bythepowerof4thats not fair
you could have just told her that thing you just said instead of pinning the work on other people without even telling them
nickatnightwalkergenerally speaking i try not to reveal daisys weaknesses to new acquaintances
bythepowerof4thats still not fair
do u even like me or are you seriously just trying to set her up with the least murderous person here
nickatnightwalkerif i didnt like you i wouldnt care if you were the least murderous person here
besides i dont get how you think us talking to each other is weird but you expect me to run interference in every single one of her friendships like, hey, just a heads up, shes got trouble finding the off button on the snarky attitude
like hell wingmanning you is pretty much the limit of what i can justify
bythepowerof4i dont expect you to do anything ive told you plenty of times that that shouldnt be your job
youre the one whos apparently been trying to invent a friendship where there isnt one?? forgive me for feeling kind of skeeved
nickatnightwalkeri was under the impression that you WERE friends
not sure when you stopped being friends actually
i KNOW shes doing her best to be less
bad
around you
bythepowerof4:/
nickatnightwalkerwhat
bythepowerof4i didnt wanna say "relationship" tbh bc there definitely isnt one of those
nickatnightwalkeroh haha relatable but look
i saw something good happening there with regards to daisy makin a human connection and i was trying my motherfucking utmost to encourage it
bythepowerof4ok but. its not a genuine human connection if youre there right
thats not very organic its just uncomfortable and confusing
i appreciate your help i guess but it was clearly more for her benefit than mine and that doesnt feel great?
nickatnightwalkerim not like lurking behind coffee machines im not actually THERE
and of course it's more for her benefit i didnt even know you
bythepowerof4i mean the second it went south you were, there, actually,
oh wow
thanks
nickatnightwalkerman youre not gonna pick me over like, your brother or something i dont see how this is shocking
besides
daisys
a good person to be friends with
bythepowerof4i mean sure but im still a bit caught up in you picking me out of a lineup like oh theyll do!!
nickatnightwalkerwhat line up
she likes you
bythepowerof4ok this part for once is not about her
well a little bit but listen
i thought we were friends because you thought i was nice and wanted to be
aka nothing to do with daisy
nickatnightwalkerwell like
yeah
that kinda helped your case though i guess
bythepowerof4no im sorry but that makes it weird
bythepowerof4that you befriended me for her sake and the second i pissed her off you trashed me for it like all im good for is bringing out the good in her
thats stupid??
nickatnightwalkeroh my god you have terrible reading comprehension
step 1. we got to be friends
bythepowerof4ok we're back at insilts great!!!
nickatnightwalkershhh just shhh for like a second im breaking itdown alright
step 1. we got to be friends
step 2. you and daisy are also sort of friendsish
step 3. i encourage this shit because shes trying and youre pretty alright
step 4. youre yelling at me for leading you on and befriending you to like lure you to daisy or some shit because i apparently just psychically knew you were ok
dont remember if we started talking because you were already talking to daisy so i figure that says something
bythepowerof4thats not what you just said but fine
bythepowerof4if im so wrong about all of this then im sorry for misunderstanding
nickatnightwalkerno it is what i just said
being friends with me first helped your case re me backing you up since i knew you werent a dick
bythepowerof4fine!!! ok i get it i just apologized
i cant help not getting stuff sometimes i figure u would get that being friends with daisy and all
but youre just saying all thise mean shit to upset me and not even feeling bad about it apparently
nickatnightwalkerlisten i really hand to god dont know what things youre talking about right now
doing it for daisy over you? like
i knew you enough to know youre alright but daisy is daisy
bythepowerof4ok well yesterday, for one, with the "you should be flattered" bullshit
bythepowerof4and u were fucked so i would forgive that in a second if u bothered apologizing
or maybe the picture, which like, whatever your intentions were clearly was pretty hurtful
or anything about low self esteem, treating me like a melodramatic idiot,
any of that rally
nickatnightwalkerim gonna address these in order
bythepowerof4unless ur adress contains a sorry i dont care
ive heard ur excuses and thats great but thats not how this works
nickatnightwalkerlike
nickatnightwalkerugh jesus cut me some slack im not exactly a social guru here either im sorry about the low self esteem comment that was genuinely not meant to be douchy and neither was the picture even though i sent it because i was pissed
that was more of a look youre wrong kinda thing but i get how with daisy saying you were jealous that looks way harsher than i thought it was so im sorry about that
bythepowerof4even in context of like, just our previous convos i think that seems pretty harsh but yeah
thanks
i appreciate it for real
nickatnightwalkerand like i cant in good faith apologize for the you should be flattered shit because regardless of the situation daisy is daisy and in the interest of transparency im never gonna think anyones good enough for her but like i said she was willing to make an effort for you and i knew you were ok so
bythepowerof4oh my god
nickatnightwalkerwhat i honestly dont get why youre so shocked i prioritize daisy
bythepowerof4im not but you dont,, need to, for one
u know you didnt eed to compare us at all
and no offence but if youre trying to convince me you like me as a person and not just bc im convenient
saying "youre ok" as often as possible is NOT reassuring
nickatnightwalkeroh what
well first obviously i had to since you were getting kinda messed up over me doing thing for her not you and second of all i dont mean Ah Yes, You'll Do..... i mean youre ok
like
bythepowerof4that hadnt happened yet u just brought it up out of nowhere
nickatnightwalkernot bad
bythepowerof4it was douchey
nickatnightwalkerno you
you said it
like
ill scroll back if i have to but you said me doing it all for her felt bad
bythepowerof4yeah and it does fyi but u pulled that "you dont deserve her" crap last fucking night
if youre gonna continue a fight u started high at least read the backlogs dude
its clearly on ur mind if u brought it ip for no reason
nickatnightwalkerit wasnt for no reason it was because she was upset you called her weird and crazy
i didnt pull this shit from the void
bythepowerof4" you were getting kinda messed up over me doing thing for her not you" this hadnt happened yet thats all im saying
u cant even keep your excuses straight
i didnt compare us and you decided to and that understandably made me feel like shit
nickatnightwalkerwell goddamn you pulled the receipts it's certainly not like i couldnt have misunderstood what particular thing you were referring to
bythepowerof4i only did that bc u tried to make it about something else!! i get why u were mad at me but youre trying to make me look dumb its not fair!!
nickatnightwalkerim not trying to make you look like anything believe it or not
sometimes i too am capable of misunderstandings
bythepowerof4then why dont you ever say sorry for them
ive messed up like a dozen times in this convo alone and i said "sorry i misunderstood" ur just
id unno its going in circles and its dumb bc i just want you to not be mad at me
nickatnightwalkerbecause im too busy trying to tell you im not framing you to look like a tool
bythepowerof4and i said i believed you
but youre acting like im an idiot for thinking it at all
nickatnightwalkerdude im not
like i dont know what im doing thats making you think that but im sorry?
bythepowerof4i told you!! over and over!! and you kept making it into something else!!
literally read what u just said and tell me it wouldnt make u feel like an idiot
nickatnightwalkerwhatever sorry i compared you and said you should be flattered
bythepowerof4whatever
sorry agan for being a dick to you last night, bc i admit i was, and to daisy but ill take that one to her bc its like, Our Business
whatevers dont count and im tired so, till next time i guess
nickatnightwalker i said it after you upset her but before you apologized and pretty much would feel that way if donald glover himself came to her door
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Rules: Complete the questions and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you’ve finished, tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!
repost rather than reblog.
ayo. I was tagged and im procrastinating an essay so here i am lol edit: i forgot to put that @lionofstone tagged me so boosh
1. Are you named after anyone? Nope. Well, as far as i know nope. I feel like it would’ve come up before if i was so imma go with no
2. When was the last time you cried? lmao like last thursday or something. tbf in marketing class my prof. was showing all these emotional commercials (its called “sadvertising”) and let me tell you, 4 commercials i was fine but 5 in a row was just too many for me
3. Do you like your handwriting? yeah, i guess? i get told its unreadable like, 90% of the time so thats fun but i like it. its quick and a smoosh between cursive and.. not cursive? i..i forget what thats called rip
4. What is your favourite lunch meat? idk. i’m not really a “lunch meat” person. idk, turkey probably? maybe ham
5. Do you have kids? I’m a kid????? (that was lea’s answer but imma steal it cause true)
6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? uuuhhhhhh, probably? i’d like to think i’d be but i dont know if “other me” me would have the same humour or friends and stuff. there’s really a lot of variables in becoming someones friend (plus which one of us would talk first to the other first?! much pressure)
7. Do you use sarcasm? lmao. yeah
8. Do you still have your tonsils? ye
9. Would you bungee jump? hell no. if im gonna plummet to the ground i’d rather skydive cause there’s less chance of my spine dying
10. What is your favourite kind of cereal? i really only eat cereal for snack so ill go with like, frosted flakes? my mom gets this awesome organic granola stuff but is granola cereal? who knows
11. Do you untie your shoe laces when you take them off? yup. unless they dont have laces but thats a given
12. Do you think you’re a strong person? eeeeeehhhhhhhhhh *intense shrug*
13. What is your favourite ice cream? cookie dough, fo’ sho
14. What is the first thing you notice about people? i dunno, usually clothing i guess. after that probably like, hair then face.
15. What is your least favourite physical thing you like about yourself? i’d rather just not, but thats my prerogative
16. What colour pants and shoes are you wearing? no shoes because I’m inside (again stealing answers lol) & the sleep shorts are like, cream with reds and blues and yellows
17. What are you listening to right now? twitch.tv/brownman (but on youtube.. so yeah) #nonspon
18. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? i dont know m8. maybe like a blue, but a blue with like, a touch of purple-y?
19. Favourite smell? i quite like apple/cinnamon combo so ill go with that. but subtle that cause if its too much its waaayyyy too much, yknow?
20. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? some telemarketer
21. Favourite sport to watch? i used to say baseball but that was super arbitrary. i’ll say figure skating or hockey cause theyre generally fun to watch
22. Hair colour? brown
23. Eye colour? back at it again with the brown
24. Do you wear contacts? nope. glasses lyfe
25. Favourite food to eat? shepherds pie. or mashed potatoes. fave foods right there
26. Scary movies or comedy? comedy. 100% no scary movies ever please
27. Last movie you watched? ...uhhhh.... i think it was rouge one cause Max
28. What colour shirt are you wearing? black
29. Summer or winter? i’ve experienced too much winter this year so ill go with summer (ut really its fall cause fall’s the best)
30. Hugs or kisses? Hugs (though im picky with who i hug). haven’t has a first kiss so i can’t go pickin’ that
31. What book are you currently reading? nothing unless you count this textbook rip. but the last book i read was “bigfoot” by pascal girard
32. Who do you miss right now? i dunno if its really like a missing thing or just like, a background knowledge that they’re not really a part of my life anymore and its like aww :( but yeah... people be like that
33. What is on your mousepad? laptop=no mousepad
34. What is the last tv programme you watched? i think it was “the great British sewing bee” (or something) with my mom. that or bobs burgers (by myself lol)
35. What’s the best sound? im not really a sounds person?? i hate velcro sound though so absolutely not that
36. Rolling Stones or Beatles? ...neither? sorry! i dont really listen to either ever. i listen to more beatles though so i guess them
37. What’s the furthest you’ve travelled? Italy probs
38. Do you have a special talent? idk. special seems subjective. uhhh, for arts and crafts im kinda a jack-of-all-trades so that maybe?
39. Where were you born? BC, Canada (ooo, specifications lmao. we’ll just say “small” town but its on the rise)
imma tag @misswritingwriter, @peacockzzz, and @saint-chan, and @remember-the-mole cause theyre like, some of the main OGs of people i follow
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i got tagged by @hleclercq and @lord-seapancake thank you !!!
1: Are you named after someone?
i dont think so? i do remember there used to be this news channel called nova and when i was born they talked about me but that doesnt count i think haha
2: When was the last time you cried?
not to be emo or anything but i am always crying about shelter. did you know theres only two shows left? what the fuck
3: Do you like your handwriting?
its......absolutely terrible.....ive been trying to change it but it just doesnt work i simply cant write
4: What is your favorite lunch meat?
i never rlly eat lunch meat?? i guess ill have to go for salami
5: Do you have kids?
no, and i dont rlly want any. maybe someday through adoption, but i dont want to give birth to a fucking gremlin yikes (im sorry but being pregnant just totally grosses me out)
6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
haha that really depends on what kind of person i’d be? like idk if i could keep up with my own antics if i didnt understand what causes these antics, you know?
7: Do you use sarcasm?
never heard of it (yes)
8: Do you still have your tonsils?
hell yeah
9: Would you bungee jump?
if i can sabotage the rope and die
10: What is your favorite kind of cereal?
the minions banana berry flavor nick ate in that vid (jk i dont eat cereal like at all)
11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
yeah
12: Do you think you’re a strong person?
physically NO emotionally???? idk?? what is emotionally strong? does the fact that im dealing with mental illnesses make me weak or strong? we’ll never know
13: What is your favourite ice cream? Ever, ever?
just plain good ol milk chocolate, or maybe lemon?? but with lemon im really specific!! like theres this ice cream shop around the corner that has terrible lemon, but one time i went to one place that had the Best lemon flavor EVER. id do anything to taste that again
14: What is the first thing you notice about people?
that really depends on what their most noticable feature is haha. like when they got pretty eyes or a cool nose or nice hair thats what i notice first
15: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself?
the fact that my hair and skin get really oily and greasy very quickly... its uglie and annoying. and maybe that im so small lol. overall im p positive about my body tbh
16: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now?
none shoes grey pants
17: What are you listening to right now?
snail’s house is the shit
18: If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
a darker shade of blueish green? like midnight green or something? thats not exactly what im looking for tho
19: Favorite smell?
yknow when it just rained after a long time without rain and you go outside
20: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
my sister i think?
21: Favorite sport to watch?
i dont rlly watch sports like at all..... i do like.... swimming,,,,and ice skating....yeah those are anime references and i am sorry
22: Hair color?
my natural color is blonde but once that started fading into this uglie gross blonde i just dyed it orange, and its been like that for a couple years now. recently i dyed it pink, but you cant rlly see that anymore
23: Eye color?
green
24: Do you wear contacts?
nope
25: Favorite food to eat?
anything pasta, nasi goreng (without the egg ew), or just plain ol fries
26: Scary movies or comedy?
that really depends on what movie it is but overall i prefer scary movies
27: Last movie you watched?
spirited away i think ;w; i cried a lot
28: What color of shirt are you wearing?
dark gray, with a deathly hallows print lmao. once youre in the hp fandom you never get out
29: Summer or winter?
summer, but i do love winter when its actually snowing. when its just rain and grey skies i hate it
30: Hugs or kisses?
why not combine the two??
31: What book are you currently reading?
a couple days ago i started reading harry potter and the sorcerer’s stone again lmao
32: Who do you miss right now?
@void--star
33: What is on your mouse pad?
dont have one lol
34: What is the last TV program you watched?
bates motel
35: What is the best sound?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6C880_JzUTw
36: Rolling stones or The Beatles
dont rlly listen to either tbh
37: What is the furthest you have ever traveled?
to turkey was the furthest i think?
38: Do you have a special talent?
i guess i can draw?? and im p good at writing even tho i never do it
im tagging @void--star @synthettique @mlemilly @comeonandsmash @dogtracksjacks @passiphae @daniandpuffins @trashdotpng assuming you havent done this one already lol
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