#not tagging cuz this is dumb hshshs

[yourthirdparent]

cowboy themed theyna wedding where everyone dresses like super like cowfolk semiformal (specifically thinking of a guy at my school who, next to the entire homecoming court, wore a button up, jeans, and a cowboy hat with boots. that's what everyone at the wedding wears) except for jason, who is wearing full like an actual wedding dress and makeup and a wig and everything so he straight up just looks like a tall pretty woman. like he's dressed in convincing drag. nobody knows it's him though, and he's been pretending to not be able to attend the wedding to everyone but thalia and reyna (they planned it. jason could never) so everyone thinks he just couldn't be there. he's also very vague about his identity and every time someone asks who he is he says "family of the bride" and never says which bride or what kind of family and every time he's asked his name he says "oh that's a big indicator, i wouldn't want you guessing my age!" like one of those women who says you should never ask a lady her age except her name is really old fashioned and you'd guess how old she is if you heard it so she suggests that you don't ask her name unless you'll meet her again (this kind of person probably doesn't exist but it's necessary for jason to do this to conceal his identity so roll with it and accept it) (he may also flirt with the person asking instead, like "do you need it to fill out my contact? perhaps ask my number first" cuz it'd be easier. and more fun)

all of this to say: percy going to his good friend thalia's wedding, sad that jason couldn't attend, and then immediately getting distracted when a very pretty very tall woman who stands out among the cowboy themed crowd in a dazzling wedding gown sits next to him throughout the ceremony. he immediately tries to find out who she is because wow she is just absolutely fucking gorgeous, he's gotta bring her home with annabeth, only to be told that her name is too old fashioned and she wouldn't want him assuming her age AND to find that she won't disclose her relation to either bride. of course, because it's a demigod wedding with fucking thalia and reyna, several gods are in attendance and hiding their identities among a number of mortals (many of which struggled a bit with the theme), and percy knows this, so he assumes this beautiful woman is the goddess hera and accepts that he can't ask her out because yk, marriage goddess. plus, he supposes it'd explain the wedding gown instead of like, a normal flashy unfitting outfit. but then, seeing her so friendly with thalia, he believes that it couldn't be hera because hera would never be so cool with her, and he chooses to ask the brides about the identity of the woman, only to finally, FINALLY, have it explained to him that the lovely lady he's been thirsting over for the whole wedding AND reception, practically a whole 6 hours, is his friend jason, brother of the bride thalia, dearest friend of the bride reyna.