#not smart but he's handsome | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

engie-ivy · 11 months

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Hi! I really like your writing, could you possibly write a fanfic where Remus is a confident gorgeous bastard and Sirius is a flustered mess?

(Hi @arcades-n-academia! You might not even remember this request, with how long it took me to answer. I guess it took some time for a good idea to come to me, and then to find time to actually write it? I would say I hope it's worth the wait, but with how long the wait was that might be pushing it😅 Anyway, without further ado, I present to you:

Confident Gorgeous Remus Lupin and Flustered Mess Sirius Black!)

Being handsome, smart and successful, Remus has his choice of men. So he's allowed to have standards, right? And he has a type, namely confident and intelligent men who know what they are doing. Unfortunately, Sirius Black, easy on the eyes as he might be, is none of those things.

Or so Remus thought.

A New Side

Remus is feeling quite chipper. He's walking down the street carrying two boxes with cake from his favourite bakery, on his way to the office where he worked for the past year.

Remus is a renowned environmental scientist, but he took a break from that line of work to join an environmental law firm. He had wanted to learn more about the legal side of protecting the environment. What arguments are the big corporations using to deny accountability for the pollution they are causing? What data can these environmental lawyers use to prove these corporations are responsible? What evidence of the consequences for the environment is sufficiently compelling to a judge?

In return for learning the ropes of environmental law, Remus has been serving as an expert witness in their cases, and has consulted on scientific matters.

All in all, it has been a good year. Remus had a great time at the company, they made him feel at home and he truly learned a lot. But while he's going to miss the people, hard-working and dedicated to making the world a better place, he's excited to go back to his true passion: scientific research. He's got plenty of ideas, and he's excited to re-join his research team and get started.

Last Friday was officially his last day at the law firm, and since he's still got one week off before he'll take up his old job again, he's dropping by the office today to bring some cake and thank them for the past year.

As Remus pushes open the door, the first person he's greeted by is, unfortunately, Gilderoy Lockhart.

Alright, maybe when he says 'hard-working and dedicated to making the world a better place', that doesn't include everyone.

Lockhart doesn't particularly care about making the world better, he cares more about creating an image of himself as someone who is making the world better. He wants that aesthetic of a handsome, noble lawyer fighting for the good cause. Without doing the actual work, that is. Lockhart is known for doing nothing while taking credit for everything.

They would've kicked him out, if he didn't have a talent for charming people. Especially middle-aged women appear to be quite fond of him. Middle-aged women with too much money looking for a good cause to support. So since Lockhart is so proficient in bringing in donations, they continue to tolerate him.

"Lupin," Lockhart smiles. "Well, isn't today your lucky day."

'Because after today I never have to see you again?' Remus wants to say, but he holds it back. No, he went an entire year without clashing with Lockhart, he's not going to ruin it now. So he forces a smile. "And why is that, Lockhart?"

"Because today is the day you're getting the chance to go on a date with me," Lockhart smirks.

Remus blinks. "Sorry?"

"Yes, you heard that right," Lockhart says, still smirking. "You get to go on a date with me."

"That's… flattering, I suppose, but I'm sorry," Remus shakes his head. "I'm not interested."

Lockhart is silent for a moment, then he lifts his chin and tightens his jaw. "See for yourself then, Lupin. Your loss."

"Remus, you gotta help us out."

Fabian and Gideon have stopped him in the hallway.

"We keep arguing about it," Fabian says.

"So we need you to decide," Gideon adds.

"We usually don't go for the same guy, so this is new to us," Fabian sighs.

"We can't agree upon which one of us gets to ask you out, so we decided to leave it up to you," Gideon shrugs.

"So you need to tell us, Remus," Fabian urges.

"Which one of us would you rather go out with?" They both ask at the same time.

Remus looks from one brother to the other. "I like you both, as good friends."

Fabian cringes and Gideon dramatically places a hand over his heart. "Autch."

"Oh, come on," Remus says. "You can't expect me to choose one of you to date! That's just asking for trouble. Believe me, this is for the best."

"Alright, we normally don't go there, but since it's you, we are willing to make an exception," Fabian says.

"So what about dating both of us at the same time?" Gideon asks.

"Bye, Fabian! Bye, Gideon!" Remus starts to walk away. "Nice catching up with you!"

"You don't know what you'll be missing out on!" Fabian, or maybe Gideon, calls after him.

Benjy keeps nervously fiddling with his tea bag. "So… ehm, I mean, like, we won't see each other at work anymore, and I just thought… I hoped… I wanted to ask… If you don't mind, of course, maybe we could see each other outside of work? You know. Like dinner. If you like to have dinner. With me."

Remus stops from where he had been going through the cabinets of the office kitchen looking for cake forks to look at Benjy. "Oh, Benj… That sounds lovely, really. But truthfully, I'm not looking for anything right now, so it's probably best not to, as I don't want to give you the wrong idea."

It's not exactly true. Remus is quite open to someone storming into his life and sweeping him off of his feet, but Benjy isn't the 'storming in and sweeping you off of your feet'-type. He's the 'carefully shuffling in and awkwardly stammering if he may perhaps attempt to sweep you off of your feet'-type. Not that he isn't a great guy. Remus is sure that there's someone out there who's going to look at Benjy and see him worrying his lip and nervously wringing his hands, and think it's just the cutest thing ever.

But that someone isn't Remus. He needs a man who has a bit more fire in him.

After avoiding an awkward situation with Caradoc Dearborn, by pretending to think the flowers Dearborn gives him are only to thank him for his work in the past year, and Dearborn luckily takes the hint and plays along, Remus runs into Kingsley. At first, Remus is relieved that it's just his work buddy Kingsley, but when Kinsley leans against the wall beside him and gives him that smile, he knows enough.

"No, Kingsley," he says firmly. "No. We are friends. We work well as friends. We are not going to change that."

Kingsley lets his head fall against the wall and lets out a dramatic sigh. "You are a cruel, cruel man, Remus Lupin," he says, but he's smiling as he pushes himself off of the wall. "Well, it was worth a try, but I know a lost cause when I see one."

Remus lets out a relieved sigh as he closes the door to the break room behind him. Mary from Communications, Marlene the Office Manager and Lily from HR look up from their coffee.

"Oh my god!" Mary jumps to her feet and runs up to him. "Cake!" She exclaims, snatching the boxes from his hands.

"Happy to see you too, Mary," Remus says, rolling his eyes.

Mary sits down and flips open one of the boxes. "White chocolate pistachio! You're my hero."

Remus drops down on a chair with a sigh. "Has Mary brought her 'special' brownies to the office again?"

Mary glares at him, swallowing down a mouth full of frosting. "That happened once and it was an accident!" She says. "I took the wrong batch with me."

"I'm not complaining," Marlene smirks. "Best day I've ever had at the office."

"What makes you think the whole office is on drugs?" Lily asks Remus. "Again," she adds, almost as an afterthought.

"Just on the way here," Remus says. "Like, six co-workers asked me out!"

Marlene laughs. "Of course they did!"

Lily leans forward, resting her head on her hands. "Come on, Remus. You must know what's going on."

Remus blinks at her. "I promise you that I really do not."

"This company has a strict No Dating-Policy for its employees," Lily says. "But as of today, you," she points her finger at Remus. "Are no longer an employee."

"Which means…" Remus begins.

"Which means that all those thirsty men who have been lusting after you for the past year can finally shoot their shot!" Mary finishes.

Remus looks at Lily, but she just points at Mary and nods.

"It's true, Rem," Marlene says. "I almost had to ask the janitor to mob the floor in the meeting room after each of your presentations, with how much those guys were drooling!"

"And who can blame them?" Mary says, before Remus can protest. "You, standing there, with that casually tousled hair going on, wearing that button-up with the top buttons undone and your sleeves rolled up to your elbows, talking about critical deposition values, just oozing that whole 'Sexy Professor'-vibe…"

"There's nothing sexy about critical deposition values!" Remus protests, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Say critical deposition values one more time," Mary says, throwing her head back and letting out a fake moan.

Remus flicks a pistachio at her head. "You're a menace."

Mary sticks out her tongue and takes another bite of cake.

Remus shakes his head. "Good god, if that is the case, in retrospect, I'm very thankful for that No Dating-Policy. At least now I only have to endure this awkwardness for one day."

"Two days," Lily corrects. "You have to come to the office party this Friday!"

Remus raises his eyebrows. "Party? Are we celebrating?"

A huge grin appears on Lily's face. "Indeed we are! We won the case against Exxon!" She cheers.

Remus stares at her. "The case against… No way!"

"Way!"

Remus laughs out loud. "Oh my god! That's amazing! I can hardly believe it! I thought that case was mostly symbolic? That we didn't have a chance at actually winning?"

"So did I!" Lily exclaims.

"So did everyone!" Mary exclaims.

Marlene shakes her head with a huge grin on her face. "But don't tell Sirius he can't do something!"

"Wait," Remus says. "Back up. Sirius? As in Sirius Black?"

"No, Remus. One of the many other Siriuses that work here," Lily deadpans. "Yes, Sirius Black! Why does that surprise you?"

"No reason, just…" Remus shrugs awkwardly. "Well, he isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, is he?"

All three girls stare at him like he has grown two heads.

"Remus," Lily eventually manages to say. "I don't know what kind of tools you have in your shed, but in most sheds, they don't come much sharper than Sirius Black. He graduated top of his year from Harvard Law, he takes on the most challenging cases from all our lawyers, and still manages to win more cases than any of the other lawyers, our biggest clients almost always request for him by name to represent them, and he receives about five offers per week from corporate offices willing to pay him at least five times what we can afford." She shakes her head. "We're lucky he's so dedicated to the cause, otherwise we would never have been able to keep him.

Remus blinks. "Really? Okay. Wow. That's… not what I expected."

The first time Remus saw Black, their conversation went something like this:

"Hi! I'm your new colleague, Remus Lupin. Nice to meet you!"

"Uh, yeah."

"So… what kind of work do you do?"

"I… ehm, I work for an environmental law firm."

"...Yes. I know. We're colleagues. I mean what sort of work do you do within the firm?"

"Oh, yes, I work in environmental law. I do law work. For… the environment."

"Right."

After that conversation, Remus had concluded that, despite what his first name might suggest, Sirius Black wasn't exactly a bright light. Their following conversations had only confirmed his suspicions.

"Hey Black. That's quite a stack of papers you're carrying. Big case?"

"Oh, no, just a normal briefcase fits fine."

"Oh, Black, can I get your opinion on the presentation I gave at the meeting this morning? What did you think of the slides?"

"I loved them! They were nice!"

"Yeah, thanks, but were they clear enough?"

"Oh, yes! I could see them very well. With the blue background and white letters. Very clear."

"No, I mean… You know what, nevermind."

Remus had assumed that Black, not being the sharpest mind, must be some sort of an assistant to the lawyers, searching files, copying documents, writing minutes, that sort of work.

Remus also thought, and he's rather ashamed to admit this, that maybe they employed Black because of his father, the infamous cut-throat corporate lawyer Orion Black. Maybe they thought that Orion Black would go a bit more easy on them when meeting them across the courtroom if his son worked for them. Though if that was the case, it was to no avail. If anything, Orion Black seems even more determined to take their firm down any chance he gets.

Remus even thought, and yes, he's even more ashamed to admit this, that the only reason they kept Black around could be because the man is so easy on the eyes.

"So, what made you think Sirius is a dummy?" Mary asks cheerfully.

"I've been trying to get to know him, but it's hard to learn more about someone when they can't hold a bloody conversation," Remus says defensively. "I swear, every time I try to talk to him, the guy can barely string a sentence together!"

The girls are silent for a moment. Then they all burst out laughing.

"Oh my god," Marlene says, wiping tears from her eyes. "I can't believe it. Sirius Black, with his infamous sharp tongue, who always has a retort for everything and can make even the most ruthless corporate lawyer tremble with fear, finally at a loss for words, because of a cute guy!" She laughs again. "I'm never going to let him hear the end of this, I swear!"

"As any good friend should," Mary says approvingly.

Remus looks puzzled.

"Come on, Remus," Lily grins. "With your experience from today, I think it's pretty clear why Sirius’ brain turns to mush around you!"

"So," Remus says slowly. "Black is actually both very intelligent and very into me?"

"He sure is."

Remus sits back on his chair and takes a sip of his coffee. "Interesting."

Remus is hiding in a corner. Not how he usually acts at parties, but he's got a very good reason. Two very good reasons actually.

First, it's so that he won't continuously get hit on, with people making flirtatious comments, bringing him drinks or making not-so-subtle suggestions of what they could do after the party now that they're no longer co-workers.

Second, it's so he can observe Sirius Black without Sirius Black knowing he's observing him.

Because Remus is intrigued.

Sure, he did find Black attractive. No one who sees him can deny that he's a good-looking man. But Remus never considered him as someone he'd potentially want to date.

Remus likes intelligent men. Maybe that's pretentious, but it's just how it is. He's attracted to men whom he can have stimulating conversations with, who challenge him and keep him on his toes, who he can share ideas with. Black seemed to be none of those things, so Remus had never looked at him like that.

Tonight, though, Remus is looking.

Black is, of course, the star of the evening. The whole party is to celebrate his achievement, after all. He looks stunning in his dress shirt and his long hair tied up. Everybody wants to talk to the man of the moment, and Black is making rounds, going from group to group, smiling brightly and making easy conversation with everyone. He looks confident and at ease, oozing charisma and competence.

Remus hadn't felt any particular way about the fidgety Sirius Black stumbling over his words, but this Sirius Black… This is a Sirius Black he would like to see more of. There's just something incredibly sexy about a confident man who knows what he's doing, and knows he's doing it well.

Black is currently chatting to the Bones-siblings– Amelia and Edgar are from the prestigious Bones family, known for their philanthropy and welfare work, and both are highly educated and strongly dedicated–, and Peter Petttigrew and Emmeline Vance. Vance is a tall, blond woman, who works for a pharmaceutical company and with whom they once had to negotiate a settlement with. Peter was quite infatuated with her, and keeps inviting her to these types of events, hoping to get with her, though everyone can see Vance has no real interest in him besides his connections.

Remus doesn't know whether Vance likes to play devil's advocate, or whether she's really defending her beliefs, but she's always taking opposing stances and arguing with everyone from the firm. Remus supposes she thinks having a different opinion makes her special and interesting, by showing she's not like the rest of them naive ideologists, but Remus disagrees. Sometimes, having a different opinion just makes you wrong.

Vance brushes her long, blond hair back. "You drive a motorcycle, right?" She asks Black. "Which means you need fuel. You can attack Exxon, but at the same time, you're one of the consumers creating the demand they're providing." She crosses her arms over her chest, looking quite smug.

Black arches an eyebrow. "I try to make the world a better place, whilst not being perfect myself, yes."

"Well, doesn't that make you…"

"A hypocrite?" Black finishes.

Vance shrugs.

"No one can do everything right. If trying to do good while you know you will sometimes get it wrong makes you a hypocrite, then not even trying to do any good only because you know you can't do everything makes you a cynic." Black crosses his arms over his chest and looks Vance in the eyes. "And then I'd rather be a hypocrite than a cynic."

"And you think bringing a company to the verge of bankruptcy with such an erratic fine is 'doing good'?" Vance asks. "If you take speeding, for instance, people don't speed because they know what fine they'll have to pay when they do. The fine Exxon has been given, however, is unprecedented. Therefore, Exxon couldn't have taken it into account when deciding upon their actions. Therefore, it is unfair." She looks quite pleased with herself.

Black does not look impressed with her argumentation, though. "We fine Exxon because we want them to not pour a gallon of crude oil over a baby seal," he says. "Not because we want to enable them to conduct a detailed cost-benefit-analysis on the strategy of pouring a gallon of crude oil over a baby seal! If they don't like that the consequences are unpredictable, good. It's a punishment, they're supposed to not like it."

"But you can't let such a vital company face the threat of bankruptcy!" Vance persists, clearly trying to get under Black's skin.

Black shrugs. "You're the one who started drawing parallels with criminal law. Alright, but then let's be consistent. What's the highest price someone can pay for the worst crime? It's their actual life. Now, Exxon has destroyed ecosystems, destroyed the lives of hundreds of people, and killed countless wildlife. It doesn't get much worse than that, so what would be the corporate equivalent of having to pay with your life? Bankruptcy indeed, if you follow your own logic."

"But do you really think Exxon is going to pay up?" Edgar Bones asks carefully. "I mean, Exxon has got an whole army of the best lawyers at their disposal. They can keep appealing the verdict to a higher and higher court, and keep stalling the process. The plaintiffs will be broke and forced to give up any further legal proceedings before they ever see a dime."

"If Exxon wants to drag this process out for years," Black replies instantly. "Then I will be breathing down their neck every single day for as long as it lasts and make sure they won't get a moment of rest from this case until they pay up! If we let them get away with this, simply because they have more means, it'll send a message to all companies like them that they can do whatever they want and no one will hold them accountable."

"But they won't be able to afford your services anymore."

"I don't want any money, not until the plaintiffs have been paid what they are due," Black says passionately, balling his fists.

"I suppose it's good exposure for your brand," Vance contemplates. "Being the activist lawyer engaged in a legal battle with Exxon."

Black gives her a hard look. "Some things aren't about money, or exposure. Some things just matter."

Remus stares at Black. That unwavering conviction, that fierce determination… It does something to him. Seeing that burning passion in his eyes, it makes something stir in Remus' stomach.

Remus chugs the rest of his his wine and places the empty glass on a passing waitress' tray, before making his way over to the group.

"Professor Lupin!" Vance says, batting her eyelashes at him. "Always good to see you."

"Hi Remus," Edgar Bones says warmly, giving Remus a quick once-over. "Glad you decided to come tonight."

"Yes, hi," Remus says, without taking his eyes off of Black, whose mouth is opening and closing like a fish without any words coming out. "Could I steal the man of the moment for a bit?" He asks, winking at Black. "To congratulate him on his big win."

Vance looks from Remus to Black and back. "Figures," she mumbles, before brushing her blond hair back and stalking off.

"Oh, I was hoping…" Edgar Bones begins.

"Of course, Remus," Amelia Bones interrupts, grabbing her brother's arm and dragging him away. "Come on, Ed. Let them have a moment."

"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything important?" Remus asks sweetly, smiling at Black.

Black's face flushes. "No! No, nothing important! Just talking about… how you should be a hypocrite, and how you can calculate the benefits of pouring oil on a baby seal, and how my clients will go bankrupt paying me…"

Remus arches an eyebrow.

Black cringes at himself, and covers his eyes with his hand, groaning. "Oh god, I swear… I swear, I'm actually smart!" He says. "I have more than two brain cells! I swear I do! The rest just somehow… switches off when it comes to you."

Remus throws his head back and lets out a genuine laugh. "Well, I guess it's good then that I'm not some corporate lawyer on the other side of the courtroom," he teases.

"It wouldn't have mattered then," Black mutters, crossing his arms over his chest.

Remus frowns. "How so?"

"I like how dedicated you are to your research," Black explains. "It's not just a job to you, you actually care. The way you talk about an exciting new research idea," a spark appears in Black's eyes as he talks. "With that contagious excitement, and always so hopeful, no matter how bad the world can be, that we can make it better. There's a fire and a passion to you." Black seems to realize he's been rambling, and he shrugs awkwardly. "I hardly would've been impressed to the point of my brain shutting down if you had been using that fire and passion to defend some bank's right to invest their client's money in cutting down the rainforest."

Remus stares at him.

He was not expecting this. His face feels warm, and- God, is he blushing? He can't remember the last time he blushed!

He thought Sirius liked him because he's handsome and successful. Many people do. But Sirius has seen him, and likes him for the kind of person he is. Remus feels something stir again, but this time not in his stomach, but higher, in the chest-area.

He gives Sirius a warm smile. "Thank you," he says sincerely, and then he laughs. "What can I say? Some things just matter."

Sirius just looks at him for a moment, before snapping out of it. "Oh, it's nothing." He wants to make a dismissive gesture with his hand, but he has forgotten he's holding a glass of red wine, and ends up throwing it all over his shirt. "Shite!" He curses, wiping his hands over his shirt, only making it worse. "Dammit, dammit! God, I'm such a bloody pillock!"

Remus looks on with a fond smile. Yes, it's going to take a lot of effort to bring out that confident, competent Sirius Black around him, but Remus has the feeling that it's going to be worth it.