#not saying you can't portay romantic relationships at one point

[joonebugg]

Hot take but there shouldn't be shipping in the mouthwashing fandom. Anyway goodnight

[ahundredtimesover]

Hello! I randomly found “I want you to stay”, while scrolling, and let me tell you, I could barely focus on something else for about 4 days. I love me a good Jungkook fic.

Besides being a Jk fic, this is such a good story! I love how you portay their thoughts and emotions so extensively. Both of them are so relatable. They made me realize how much I crave for someone that is ready to accept all the love in my heart and how afraid I actually am to open up to someone and accept their love. It’s so hard to do…I’ve been in a relationship for 10 years, that ended last year, and since then, I’ve been questioning myself and tried constantly to make sense of my emotions, of who I am, why haven’t I been enough for this person. Reading your story, I realized that I was enough, however, he did not know how to accept my love and I did not know how to express myself better. I’m thinking how important is to communicate and to be true to yourself, after reading the characters’ thoughts. I guess we’re all living in our heads most of the time, imagining how the other person will react if we say this of that and more often than not, we’re sabotaging ourselves. That’s why I am relating to both of them, I feel like I am sabotaging myself most of the times, as I’m living in my head a lot. It is weird tho, because with my friends I can be open and give and receive love, but when I’m thinking of a romantic relationship, I feel like it would be so hard for me to do that, because when I love, I do it with my everything and it’s consuming. And trusting that someone will not break you is even harder. I’m wondering often if it is wrong or if I am crazy for wanting to give someone everything and trust them with anything…

Until I find my breakthrough, like Ms. Cho and Mr. Jeon, I will redirect my love to other people, like Mr. Ri did.

I honestly cried with them and for them, and maybe for myself as well.

I guess what I want to say is, your story made me feel so much. It’s been a while since I was glued to my phone reading something.

Thank you for this wonderful story! 💜

Hope you’re having an amazing day, whenever you’ll be reading this! 😊💜

You have no idea how much of a sigh of relief this ask feels.

I think what drained me the most about this story was getting into the characters' hearts and minds in depth, and they don't even get themselves! Half the time, they didn't understand what they were feeling. And that was the point, I feel like - we're all complex, walking contradictions, with so many desires we're afraid to admit and so much love we're terrified of showing and accepting. We want things we need to be brave to have, but we want them too much that we don't want to risk our own hearts for them because of how much it'll hurt. That's how I wrote them, and you sharing your story validates this all.

Like you said, he did not know how to accept my love and I did not know how to express myself better (this thought will matter in s2 if I ever get to write it). OC is just like you - full of love for family and friends, but unable to express the romantic kind bc when she loves, she'll do it with everything and it’s consuming. And trusting that someone will not break you is even harder -> that's exactly her reasoning. It's everything she's scared of. And it's so human, so relatable bc these things aren't easy. But we figure it out somehow; we'll have to trust that things will make sense one day, like it did for them.

SO THANK YOU for sharing this and for dropping by 😊 I can't imagine what losing a decade-long relationship feels like but I hope you're feeling better. I'm sending you hugs. I hope this story was able to give you a bit of comfort and clarity. I wish you well always 💜

[watchinglikeafangirl]

Lovely Writer Episode 7 - analysis

This week's episode was - comparing to the others - rather calm and just about Nubsib and Gene. All the other side characters had no screen time at all and I was missing them a bit but at the same time I somehow wasn't... The flashbacks could've been a bit shorter though.

Nubsib

At least, we finally understood him and he wasn't faking anything. Six whole episodes of waiting until he will be real was long enough.

So, apparently Nubsib was hit, abused and unloved as a child. Well, it explains at least why he's so drawn to Gene who was the opposite of all these three things. He protected him from the stick, he believed him when he told him about the piano teacher and played with him out of his own will, not because he was forced to. As a child, it must've meant a lot to Nubsib. It wasn't romantic love back then, not even the closest, but for Nubsib their friendship was precious and very important. He had someone who cared.

Nubsib asked me to use your aunt's surname because his father doesn't support him.

These years alone must've been very lonely and since Nubsib's family wasn't very nice to him and his dad didn't like the path he chose for living, he had to escape his own family alone. He had to face all of this alone without Gene by his side. But it was all worth it because he would see Gene again. Isn't this romantic?

It would be romantic if Nubsib wouldn't be so selfish and manipulative. He held on to this memory that was becoming a fantasy and did everything to make it turn into reality no matter what, and that's pretty selfish.

But you can tell Nubsib only behaved the way he did these past episodes to earn Gene's trust and love again. He is so desperate to be liked by him, he even pretended to be someone else. Gene means so much to him, he is ready to lie, pretend and manipulate. But behaving like he did as a child (at least a bit) means a lot of energy for him, I guess, because he outlived some stuff and changed a lot since then. It must've been hard to pretend all the time...

Gene

In the flashbacks we saw Gene being as antisocial as he his right now. He lives so much in his head, he doesn't understand when people tell him to let others into his world because it doesn't make sense for him. It's the same we saw last episode when he was storming out because of his rage. I believe he regretted it as soon as he closed the door but blinded by his anger he just wanted to get away because he was disappointed and hurt. He shut the door to the outside and Nubsib couldn't get through to him even if he tried which got pretty clear when he wanted to touch Gene's face but Gene turned away last minute. He shut the world out and it's something he always did and will always do. Nubsib just has to find a way to stop him and in some way save him from getting lost in thoughts. We saw that before and now in the flashbacks.

Everyone can tell the parallels between the scene when he was drunk in the car and the one in the flashbacks when he was playing with the plushies. When he plays with toys, the story happens in his own head and he doesn't let people in to see the things he does. When he's in the car, he does exactly the same and Nubsib recognizes this strong character trait of him, that's why this scene was so quiet and sweet because Nubsib found his Gene again. He saw something from the younger version of Gene in his very adult self.

They make up

Gene is still mad and pushes Nubsib away but nevertheless, he's listening when Nubsib doesn't go anywhere. Because Nubib has his mission now and won't let it fail. We saw in the flashbacks, he waited until late in the evening being sad about Gene not showing up. He knows now, Gene would rather be sad and regret it all his life than looking for him to explain why he acted the way he did. And as a child, Nubsib didn't get it but now he does and he knows he has to reach out first and if not through phone calls, then he needs to show up in person.

Like I said, Gene lives in his head and somehow wouldn't ever get the idea of being the first one to reach out and apologize because he's so damn antisocial.

Don't pretend to be a good kid. Just say whatever's on your mind.

What I liked a lot in this scene was when Gene says Nubsib should be real if he wants Gene to like him. I don't think it's just because he scond-guessed all their conversations but because he always had an odd feeling about Nubsib not being completely real and honest. Nubsib was always weird and Gene felt that too. But of course, he's mainly calling Nubsib out because of all the drama before.

And also, it is not right to start a relationship based on lies. You are not that low and Gene stands up for himself. He doesn't accept it, now that he knows about it and he makes sure Nubsib will remember, lying and manipulating is not romantic or something that will be forgotten quickly. Nubsib has to work a bit to earn Gene's trust again. Gene's speaking up and I love it.

privacy

After the weird dog metaphor that was somehow romantic, the ending of this episode was very calm and pure.

And like in episode 4, I had the feeling of watching something I was not supposed to watch. It felt very private what they were doing - or I should just say what Nubsib was doing.

Do you know? Since you left, I've been very lonely. Now that we can be together again, don't disappear again.

The way Nubsib tucked Gene in and touched his face softly was so caring, calm and pure, my fangirly heart was dying. But apart from it, it was nice to see them being a couple - or like a couple because they haven't made that clear yet.

Also, the lighting in this scene is important too. When Gene was alone and uninspired because his thoughts were spinning around his fallout with Nubsib, the sky was cloudy and it didn't look very warm nor bright outside but now, they sort things out and the bed room is flooded with bright sunshine. Everythig is positive and happy now and sunlight also represents peace.

flashbacks

Even though the part with the flashbacks was pretty long, it was not like nothing was explained through them but I agree there were some parts that were boring.

I saw some people saying the flashbacks felt weird and I totally agree and I don't know if I see this whole show as it's supposed to be seen but I always see it as some sort of parody. I believe the drama last week which was out of character and out of the blue was in fact something the writers made fun about because such sensless drama always happens in BLs and suddenly the drama becomes big and one of them even storms out to escape the scenery. It was so over-the-top dramatc, I believe that was the point. This is just a cliché. Just like the quick make up. I don't know how much time has passed but I believe it was a day or something and Nubsib shows up and things are suddenly okay. People were saying their kiss was too early and I feel like this too but again, if they are resolving the stupid drama then at least with a kiss, right? Because it's the absolute cliché.

The "childhood friends" trope is nothing I am against but I find it weird to romaticize such a friendship when they are like 6 or something. Here, Nubsib was even younger, so it makes no sense for their friendship to be romaticized because as a 4-year-old (or something), you don't feeel such things. You can't, or at least you don't understand it at all. And I guess, the writers also wanted to make fun of this trope being so romanticized when they were too young to understand the feeling and act on it. The flashbacks felt even weirder when the cheek kiss was cut and when they went to sleep in a close hug.

I think the director does a good job for portaying weirdness as awkward and private matters as uncomfortable for the audience as it is.

preview

It seems like we'll see the side characters again but Aey won't be nice at all.

Aey is such a troubled person who should protect his heart more because if you wear it on your sleeve all the time, people will be quicker in breaking it. And it's not like he didn't know Nubsib doesn't like him that way. I don't know what to think of him.

And the fanservice will become an even bigger problem. I wonder if Gene can handle it even though Nubsib is now clearly his but I guess, Gene will assume stuff again. Trouble is gonna be big guys.

But to comfort you - Gene being a mood: