#not really okay but if you're interested in movie analysis you might be interested about this I think
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Lately, I have been watching this German tv show on Netflix, Achtsam Morden (they changed the title in my language and they've probably changed it in all other languages as well, so that's why I report the original one), and it's one of those shows that starts with a very shocking first scene, does a sort of "yep, that's me, you probably wonder how I got there" and then goes back to the "beginning of the story" and I finally realised why this kind of opening, which I used to like, has started to bother me so much.
It's because it's the tv show equivalent of a clickbait video. That's the only way I can explain it. This kind of opening per se is fine, it has nothing wrong with it, but today you will see so many tv show that open like this, because evidently the average member of the audience needs (or what streaming services think they need is) to know instantly, from the first second of a show, if they will like what they are going to watch.
It's just that. People don't even watch trailers anymore- because there are so many tv shows now, so there are so many trailers and you couldn't keep up with all of them. What happens is you go on a streaming service and find a tv show you have never heard of, maybe with actors you have never heard of. You are not going to watch the trailer, you are going to click on the first episode to see what's up. And the tv show needs to tell you at the very beginning of the first episode what you are going to get, so you don't get bored with things like "building up a narration" and "giving the show the time to start". It seems like tv show audience today just don't have the patience for that anymore (or, again, streaming services don't think we do).
Again, it's the equivalente of a clickbait video that starts with "THIS MAN SURVIVED ONE WEEK WITH NO WATER" and then the story starts from the begging. But why is there such an aggressive hook? Because whoever created that video wants you to stay and hopes you will with an outrageous, attention-grabbing claim.
And it's the same thing a lot of tv shows seem to be forced to do this day. Again, that's not the device of "starting the tv show with a flashforward" that's bad, the problem is how massively it is used today and why.
It's this and things like 8 episodes a season and Netflix making sure that scripts pass the "second screen test" (if you don't know, the reason why in a Netflix movie or tv show you may find a lot of repetitive scenes or the same information repeated many times and a general lack of subtlety is because Netflix assumes everybody watches their products while simultaneously being on their phone- so they want to make sure even an audience who pays very low attention to their products can still follow them. Please try to re-imagine if the movies that have made the history of cinema had to comply with this parameter.) that make me mad.
Because we are not going to get another Breaking Bad, another The Wire, The Soprnaos, Succession, Six Feet Under, True Detective, Twin Peaks and whatever else you can name if tv shows today are produced with the same style of a clickbait video and and all episodes end in cliffhangers so you have to watch the next one (Lost pulled it off but that was Lost. And also Lost was hugely criticised and/or mocked for overusing these narrative devices.)
Now, I started this post complaining about episodes opening scenes so let's get back to that. The opening of a tv show or a movie is one of its most crucial moments, okay? I'd say it's even more crucial than the finale- because there are a lot of factors that may change how a tv show can end (network decided to cut it early, actors not being available, story took another directiom things like that) but the opening scene of a tv show needs to set the tone, get you in the atmosphere, give you a sniff of the worldbuilding, introduce the main characters, and, sure, also hook up a viewer.
Different people may be hooked by different things, so I don't think the purpose of a good opening scene is necessarily to appeal to every single person who watches it, but rather to be a good, coherent, significant beginning to your show. The kind of opening, dare I say, that after you finish the show, if you get back to the beginning you're filled with a new understanding of that scene.
And you can't expect that the same kind of opening scene (something shocking happens, "How did I end up here" often in voice over, flashback) can fit the bill for every show. People often speak of iconic tv show opening scenes, but how can they be iconic if they're slowly becoming all the same?
I think it's a little sad that this is making audience used to not giving a story the time to begin.
Watching a tv show, I think, should, or at least can also be, a time to relax and take things slowly. It's fine if a tv show takes a while to begin, it's fine it takes the whole 30 minutes an episode lasts these days instead of the first 30 seconds. Who is running after you? I understand that time is maybe our most valuable good, so you don't want to waste it watching a bad show, but are you really using it better if you're costantly stressed over "consuming only the stuff I aleady know I will like" and you don't allow yourself the luxury of discovering something you unexpectedly like? Even better, of letting your opinions and yourself be changed by an artistic product that can challenge your taste and thoughts? Of letting yourself try, like or even love new things? Maybe, this way you'll end up watching a bunch of bad stuff, but maybe you will also find out that that tv show you thought wasn't your style gets really, really good from episode 3 on.
I remember starting Mad Men and thinking "Wow, I thought this was going to be more exciting" at first. I could have left it there, and move on on another show, but personally I decided I was going to give it a bit more time. I had to wait like until episode 5, I think, to get pulled in, but I am glad I did, because from then on I got very invested in the show (which I still have to continue but I gotta wait for my family to watch it together).
And look, there's a chance I would have still disliked Mad Men even if I got past episode 5, but there were tha same chances, as it actually happened, that I would have liked it!
Imagine if Mad Men would have started immediately giving away Don's past: it would have ruined to effect of perceiving him, at first, as the man with the perfect life, and then seeing his image slowly crumble in front of our eyes. But yeah, I guess you could say an opening scene like that would have grabbed the audience attention quicker.
So, yeah, this is another ramble against streaming services. For the love of whatever scared to you- so, profits- Jesus Christ allow your tv showa to begin with something that Megamind hasn't already done better that you could ever hope to achieve.
Don't let your tv shows become a Mr Beast video, please.
#tv show#tv show analysis#opening scene#streaming services#netflix#amazon#prime video#hbo#apple tv#disney+#movie analysis#not really okay but if you're interested in movie analysis you might be interested about this I think#ramblings#clickbait
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Turning Off Your Brain and the Critical Lens
Alright, let's start with this: there is a thing called a critical lens. It is a way of looking at a piece of art, examining what it's saying to us about itself or its subject or themes or whatever.
There are many critical lenses. Because this is something that's mostly only taught at the college level, most of them are (in my opinion) mired in academic language and not actually all that interesting in and of themselves: I think if you read a dozen stories through a feminist lens, you really start to think "okay, yeah, I get it". Different readings of different texts through different lenses can be great fun though, and it's one of my favorite parts of media criticism, and something that I wish people were more explicit about.
I'm going to talk about the Barbie movie, because it's easy. The feminist lens is obvious and in my opinion intended: it's the thing that the movie is most trying to be about, and as a consequence, it's something that probably has the most critical meat. But you can also read the movie through other lenses, and ask what it has to say about capitalism, about race, about neurodivergence and queer theory and game theory and a bunch of other things.
Some of these readings are Unintended. The author (in this case, hundreds of people working together on the film) did not intend for you to look at the movie to see what it's saying about, say, American Imperialism. Probably.
I personally enjoy unintended readings. I like teasing apart a book to see what it's saying about different things, and how it's saying it, and what the assumptions it's operating under, and whether this creates anything interesting when I bring a different set of assumptions. I think the writers and actors of Winter Soldier were not trying to say anything in particular about masculinity, but fuck it, let's watch the movie and think about it.
Sometimes people will watch something and recommend that you turn your brain off. Sometimes they'll say this to you just as you're about to start in on some critical analysis of something that definitely was not made with that critical analysis in mind.
Here's how I think of "turning off your brain": it's a critical lens. It's not a critical lens in the sense that academics might use it, but you're looking at this piece of media from a specific viewpoint, and that viewpoint is "omg they're in love" or "fuck yeah" or "no, don't go into the basement!". There are certain pop genres that greatly benefit from being viewed this way, at least in terms of pure enjoyment.
When I sit down to watch a romcom, I can do it with male/female social dynamics in mind, or I can do it with "aw, I hope these kids get together" in mind. One is the intended reading, and I don't think that it should get all that much privilege for it, but I do think generally it can result in better enjoyment. I love media criticism and consider it to be one of my main hobbies, but if you fall in love with one particular way of viewing media and only use that single one, you're going to have a bad time.
I write and generally enjoy rational fiction, which comes with its own lens, which I guess we can call the rational lens. If you sit and view a work through the rational lens, sometimes you can have fun with it: you try to work through the systems as presented and the actions of the characters and think about how you could make everything make sense. The way to do this that's not very fun is to look at a work through the rational lens and conclude that the author is dumb, the characters are dumb, and the worldbuilding is shit. I guess this can be fun if you have a sense of smug superiority, but I personally do not.
One of the things that I love about media criticism is that you can sometimes extract weird and new things out of a work. One of the things that I love about fanfic is that you can take a deliberately strange reading of a work and then write as though that reading was true. You can look at Batman and say "what does this say about income inequality" and then start writing and say "this is about income inequality now". You can look at Winter Solider and find a reading where Cap and Bucky are gay and then write it out.
Where I think people fail in a way that's personally annoying to me is that they take their preferred reading and then loudly claim ("ironically" or not) that this is the One True Reading against which no other readings can stand. Sometimes "that is not The Point of [thing]". I think you get that a lot from the "shut off your brain" crowd, but I've seen it from other places too, and I would attribute it to people talking past each other, sometimes not even realizing what critical lens they're using.
If you're talking to me, you can just say "non-preferred lens" and I'll understand, or maybe I'll say "wat" because I might forget this blog post moments after I write it.
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May i request somwthing with, Sam and reader on a movie date but reader is a nerd and rambles to Sam about the movie after and Sam finds it cute 🥹 you can do it however, I would like it nevertheless 🫶🏼 (I love grumpy x sunshine trope srry)
Whatever You Say
Synopsis: You've rediscovered your favorite movie, and with that comes lots of rambling. Sam doesn't mind much.
Warnings: I forgot I took the language out, my neck hurts, my foot hurts, fluff, The Outsiders spoilers I suppose
A/N: Let's hope "constructive criticism ☝️🤓" anon finds this up to par.
"I feel like... this is one of the few movies that do their book justice, you know?"
Sam looks up from the stove with a raised brow. It's been almost half an hour since the two of you finished watching The Outsiders, yet your enthusiasm hasn't wavered one bit since the moment she clicked play to the moment the end credits rolled (your tears, too, to Sam's secret amusement).
"Right," she says as she looks back to the spaghetti, more so to assure you she's still listening than anything else. Honestly, she's almost completely sure you wouldn't care if she wasn't.
"I mean, yeah, some people say it's not the best option, or, like... some aspects could be whatever, whatever, but it's good to me, though. You know?"
"Sure."
"Especially Johnny, I think. Like, Ralph was probably... one of, if not the best casting choice. He, like- he looks like a kicked puppy. Not saying that like- you know."
Sam lowers the heat on the stove, turning to grab the pesto sauce from the fridge. "I know, Y/n" she sighs as she opens the door, glancing in for a moment before reaching in and pulling out the pesto. She straightens up and turns back to the stove— and you, now that you've moved to lay half your body on the island— nudging the fridge door closed with her foot.
Sam opens the glass jar, dumping the remainder of the sauce into the pan unceremoniously. You watch with mild interest as you continue with your little analysis, or whatever it is you're doing. She has to admit, it is slightly endearing to see you so passionate about something, even a movie.
"I think people who still say the movie could have been better should remember the actual horrible movie adaptations out there. Like Avatar the Last Airbender," you say, tapping your hand on the island.
"I don't know what that is," Sam mumbles absently, stirring everything together, watching as meatballs disappear and spread out in the pan.
"It's something you never, ever wanna see, Sammy," you tell her matter-of-factly. Sam snorts.
"Anyways, those people are probably the same people who say the book didn't make sense in the first place. I didn't even know The Outsiders haters existed. Like, it... it makes sense. It does."
"Okay, Y/n, whatever you say," Sam says. She'll take your word for it. It was a good movie, she sort of sympathized with Darry. But she didn't really get into it the way you did.
"I mean, the whole movie is extremely symbolic, you know?"
"Uh..."
"I think it might be one of the best movie adaptations ever. I'll be honest, though, it's probably because the book was so good that the storyline does most of the work for the movie but..."
Sam looks up from the stove at you as you ramble on. She watches as you completely lose yourself in it, the way your eyes sort of light up and you have this little smirk whenever you get to a topic you especially enjoy. Sam leans forward on the counter.
After a long moment of you speaking with the absence of Sam's little hums of acknowledgement and 'sure's, you look up from the loose string on your shirt you'd been playing with, voice trailing off. You cock a brow at the look on Sam's face, something that makes her almost laugh.
"What?" you ask, confused. Sam just shakes her head and reaches over to turn off the stove, chuckling to herself. She turns away from you, making her way over to the cabinets where the plates are.
"Nothing," she says, though her tone is a little too amused for it to be nothing. You watch as she grabs two forks and brings it all back to the stove, piling both plates with generous amounts of spaghetti.
She puts a lid on the pan with the remaining spaghetti and carries the two plates to the table. She sets them down, in next to each other in front of your usual seats. You hop off of the island and take a seat in one of the chairs.
Sam settles herself in beside you and picks up her fork as you let out a little sigh.
"It looks good," you say, grabbing your fork as well. You use it to pick up some spaghetti, but when you lift it to your mouth you pause.
"You know what? I think if you watch the movie while you listen to the book it'd be a cool thing. 'Cause some parts will line up and you can see the stuff happening as it's being read, and stuff. Also, it's cool to see what's different."
You take a bite. Sam drops her gaze to her own plate and digs in. It's comfortably quiet for a moment. Your fork clatters against the table.
"I just feel like Johnny's death was such a necessary thing, like it was something we as an audience needed even though it broke our hearts, and— What?"
Sam sighs, though a soft smile takes over her features. She shakes her head, just looking at you for a moment.
"Eat your food, babe," she finally says, her smile still present as she looks back to her own food.
#ts is so lazyyy#samantha carpenter x reader#sam carpenter x reader#sam carpenter#samantha carpenter#fem!reader#female reader#scream 5#scream 6
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15 Questions for 15 People
@locke-n-k3y thanks for the tag :] ah hm tbh I feel like my answers for these might be a bit boring but let's see...
1. Are you named after anyone?
Yes! (Referring to my legal name- which I still use), I was named after a character from the soap opera "General Hospital" haha.
2. When was the last time you cried?
Last week lol- which was... The first time in a couple months? It was nice but not enough.
3. Do you have kids?
Absolutely not. Never lol.
4. What sports do you play/have you played?
Never did any sports outside of gym class! Not formally, anyways. I do workout (mostly strength/weight training) fairly regularly... But I don't think that really counts here lol. :0 Been thinking a lot lately about picking up boxing.
5. Do you use sarcasm?
Yup! irl I often go for a sort of deadpan delivery of my sarcasm- what I've learned from other people is that I'm a little too good at that (I sometimes say very ridiculous things very convincingly). I won't usually specify unprompted that I'm being sarcastic, but you're always welcome to ask. Not as sarcastic online in general, however.
6. What's the first thing you notice about people?
Irl? Hmm. Hard to say. Maybe: eyes, voice, posture.
Online? Typing/texting style I suppose!
7. What's you're eye color?
Dark brown 👁
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
Not mutually exclusive lol. But, happy endings. I don't "dislike" tragedies but I'm not actively drawn to them either.
9. Any talents?
HM. I mean obviously I have things I'm good at but I'm never quite sure what differentiates a "talent" from a "skill". I suppose a lot of friends have said something to the effect of me being "good at reading minds" haha- also "good at explaining things" which is debatable but sweet lol.
10. Where were you born?
Halifax! Which I feel fine saying cause I haven't lived there for a long time lol. A foggy fishing city that I miss even now.
11. What are your hobbies?
I guess a large chunk of what I do on this blog counts as hobbies? Writing (whether it's fiction or analysis or shitposts), drawing, audio clipping and editing apparently (though much of that I just keep to myself- same for drawing tbh). :] I've also gotten into making iron-on patches. Tabletop and video games for sure but... Neither as much as I'd like these days. I tend to collect a lot of things as well- most notably coins.
12. Do you have any pets?
I've had MANY pets of many different species- but currently just my cat Bok! I do tend to take care of my older sister's bunny a lot too though.
13. How tall are you?
5'4, which all my 6'0 friends love teasing me over 😒. I've been told that I "seem taller from the way [I] carry myself", however. (Despite everything, I'm actually fine with my height!)
14. Favorite subject in school?
When I was completing my bachelor's (in computer science) I was particularly drawn to graphics-related stuff! In highschool my fave was definitely drama haha (gee I miss it tbh).
15. What is your dream job?
I HAVE NO IDEA no idea and that's kind of my issue rn tbh. Plenty of things that seem interesting, but I don't think I'm the kind of person who could have the same job for my whole life, no matter how perfect it is. I'll presumably end up in something programming-related eventually, though it's not what I'm looking for now. OH OKAY ACTUALLY dream job? Probably doing video essays (or possibly let's plays) on Youtube haha.
15 PEOPLE IS A LOT OF PEOPLE TO TAG AND I ALWAYS FEEL SO SHY TAGGING PEOPLE IN GAMES and I have no idea who's been tagged already ahaha UM NO PRESSURE WHATSOEVER!!! @llumimoon @happi-tree @kaseyskat @abeinginsand @nolassolace @goldturnedgray @swiffin @insomaniiiac @meiwks @calamity-unlocked @coolfire333 @supremely-unsupervised @b1gwings @giraffeskull There! 15! Tried to get a few new people in there lol. But fr no stress!
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Yo! I'm Cou, like in Acoustic! That's where the 'cousticks' comes from (mind blown, yet?) I'm a whole 21 years old, and would prefer they/it pronouns.
This account is my dumping ground for fandom posting, including analysis, aus (which you can find a list of here), writing, doodles, and more! You can find some of this writing on AO3, too.
I follow back from the url 'causticacoustic', as this is one sideblog of several. Please do not be alarmed by a purple Master Chief icon following you out of nowhere, or leaving asks, that's me!
Minors are welcome, but I'd prefer only my 18+ friends DM me. 18+ mutuals are welcome to my discord, too! Just send me a DM.
I encourage talking to me. Be it via asks (anon or not!), comments, reblogs, DMs, whatever, I love conversation, I'm just a little incapable of starting it, usually.
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Content
This is mostly a BSD blog. In the future it may also contain other media. Vanitas no Carte is probably going to make an appearance eventually, who knows what'll come after that.
Other media interests I doubt I'll post about here include:
the Halo universe
FLCL (only the og. we don't talk about the reboots.)
Portal games
Dishonored games
bad action movies in general
and more!
I also have other non-media interests, but I won't clog this up with them. You should totally ask me about them though.
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Honestly, I'm not great at tagging upsetting content. If you need something specific tagged then leave me a DM or ask (anon or not) or something and I'll try my best to keep a running list of what needs tagged and how (I keep a Google Doc for myself for my tagging system and will happily add your needed tags to it). Chances are, you'd be seeing violence or blood. If you're in the BSD fanbase, I'm kind of making a blanket assumption that you're okay with that when you interact around here. If not? Good luck, I guess.
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Drawings are tagged #doodles. 'Personal' not really content posts are tagged #sticky note. More put-together posts I intend to actually circulate in the world are tagged with the fandom and relevant characters / novels, ex. #bsd dazai, #bsd fifteen, etc. People I interact with frequently might find themselves with their own tags as well! Mutuals, please don't think I suck for not giving you a tag or something pretty pretty please. My brain is very tired so I'm limiting it to those that appear often I promise I'm not slighting you personally on purpose.
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This is very long and says absolutely nothing. Please direct all questions, comments, or complaints to the ask box.
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can you imagine. all the impracticality of a chainsaw-sword, but an axe. it'd be even worse. how awesome is that.
under the cut is like literally more than a dozen paragraphs of me being autistic about combat choreography despite having no actual filmmaking experience or even really watching many movies. in fact i think it is quite likely i am just wrong about some of what im talking about; however i like reasoning about things even if i dont know what im talking about.
cause like okay the chainsaw sword tends to be stout and short, and often has a large handle because like. Engine for the thing to do the chainsawing bit. so it ends up having an unsatisfying sense of movement when used to slice
obviously since it's a chainsaw you end up having an idea of just smacking it into somebody and then getting that nice little 'beat' before it rips through them in a burst of gore (interesting parallel in choreography between this and the classic samurai clash)
but because the design of the chainsaw sword tends on the shorter side and the visual balance also leans toward a shorter and stouter image, you don't get a very large or fast 'swing', and the business end of the weapon has less emphasis.
you might have to place more visual weight on the person wielding it (a bulky armor suit or a huge mecha, for example), and you'll definitely need to make their movement carry more of the weight, maybe with them making exaggerated two handed swings or charging into their opponent.
they'll need to make bigger movements in a fight because your focus is more on them instead of on their weapon, and a back-and-forth of parrying and circling won't work visually like it would with rapiers or katanas because you're not looking at the space between the two fighters.
the axe is a weapon which also places a lot of weight in a single spot, both in the real world and visually in its choreography, but that weight is on the business end, not toward the handle. when a character uses a big axe or hammer, you're still paying more attention to the space between them and the target.
my analysis on the axe and hammer arent as informed and i already barely watch any actual movies so this is basically purely theory. but like. you have the visual weight more at the end, and while you don't necessarily have to do the thing where a huge lumbering barbarian swings once every three seconds, you're not going to see something that's visually heavier move as quickly as the swords would, if you want the fight to look balanced.
with a normal perspective, though, you can still have quick repeated swings without having too much movement; just have them swing the weapon side to side instead of up and down, and it'll be moving toward or away from the camera but in the same spot. this will make the axe wielder feel more static- the negative space between two swordsmen moves quickly as their swords flash up and down, in and out. the axe head being visually larger than a sword's blade means that when the axe is being used to make horizontal strikes perpendicular to the perspective, it will occupy a consistent space.
the fact that the axe's blade, and thus its visual weight, is at the end also changes the space they occupy; it lends itself toward the moment of a big swing missing and giving the opponent an opening, because while the sword's weight is somewhat balanced, with the axe you've now gotten between the wielder and the weapon, and have occupied the space they were controlling, which moves less quickly than with the sword.
while with the sword you can have the samurai beat where two swords clash, they move past each other, and then one explodes, with the axe, the greater bulk of the blade removes the plausibility of that 'phantom' cut, and the weight means you're more focused on each hit. a heavily wounded barbarian continuing to rage in combat is encouraged even more by this, because the dichotomy of the weapon theyre using and the weapons of their opponents means that it looks good as the barbarian makes a huge swing with their heavy weapon and takes a small cut.
the trait of the axe where the opponent can get inside of its reach, the balance of its design, and the stereotype associated with the axe as a weapon for a strong brute character encourage the use of non-weapon attacks as well, along with the value of simply having more novelty in your choreography. if the barbarian makes a heavy swing, you don't want to move the axe again too quickly, or else you lose the sense of heft. let them take a step forward and throw a punch, changing the focus to them and letting them occupy the same space as the axe for a moment so they can take over its visual weight before picking it up and continuing with it.
the chainsword too encourages non weapon attacks. another reason, which also applies to the axe as mentioned, is that any successful hit from the chainsword is more significant. if you want to keep the scene going, mix in some attacks that do less damage. the chainsword often features not only a knuckle guard but a viciously spiked one. of course, the spikes don't make it do more damage, but they make the viewer expect the user to throw a punch with it. and they look cool. the chainsword also encourages close quarter combat because it's a short weapon. since it doesn't 'move' visually much on it's own when swung, the user must move for it, and it's more interesting to work that charge into a shoulder charge or a kick to the stomach that will stagger the enemy.
but discussing the axe vs the chainsword, you find something similar in terms of choreography, but the axe is simply more dynamic, and is significantly heavier. the chain-axe, then, is simply *more*. an axe for an even greater brute, that.. well, actually, it doesnt necessarily encourage more of the barbarian outside of simply the prior stereotype; while the chainsword shares the incentive to CQC with the axe, it doesnt really encourage the 'berserk' as much, since it lacks that distance between the threat and the user and the weight that disincentivizes moving too quickly which leads to creating more moments of weakness after any given strike
in fact.. the movement in which the two samurai clash and slide past each other (not necessarily the blood explosion kind, just any), or just binding swords, works because you're usually mostly focused on the swords and the space between the two fighters, and then you're creating that switched-beat, reinforcing rhythm and tempo, by swapping the motion and the focus toward them for a second. their swords bind and stop moving as they grapple, and the focus becomes them for a moment, still. they swap from a quick dance and both make a heavy swing, using their own movement in addition to that of the sword to add to its emphasis. they both move toward the center, the space previously occupied by their flashing swords, which neatly compresses it into nothingness and turning them into the focus. as they step past each other, they stop for a moment. both recover from the clash, and since they moved across the center, they must turn around to face each other again. the dance pauses, they take a breath, and continue.
of course, since the sword is 'lighter' and doesnt do as much damage, they also can accumulate hits. and since it's their sword, not them, that occupies the focus, an attack hitting them doesnt necessarily feel as significant. hence, i guess, the value of the clash, beat, then the wound opens; as mentioned, it turns them into the focus instead of the space between them where their swords clash. thus their wound gains more emphasis; it isnt them taking a little scratch during their fencing, it's them, the focus of the scene, being wounded, and not only is it emphasized because they become the focus, it's also emphasized by the brief moment of respite after their clash, because now that wound is the only action happening.
the chainsword can't do things like that for a couple reasons. since it's short and the weight and focus are *shared* with the user, the negative space between them as they clash swords isn't conjured at all, meaning that closing it can't swap the flow of the dance and turn them into the focus where they weren't before. plus, since it's a slow and blunt weapon which needs to *hit* them, *then* take a moment to saw through them, you certainly can't have that clash/beat/explode. the damage is inflicted during a beat after the hit, so it can't exchange like a sword or like an axe. the axe is instant, the sword can be subtle. but the chainsword can only do damage during a *bind*.
the chainsword also discourages the berserker that fights on while taking small cuts, because they're the visual focus. both the sword and axe draw focus off of their body and allow a wound to appear minor, but the chainsword maintains focus on their body.
i think the chain-axe maintains the advantages of the chainsword but allows those advantages to exist inside the choreographic framework of the axe instead. the chain becomes purely an adjective on what is still fundamentally an axe for the fight, while in the case of the chainsword the choreography is in fact different from that of the sword.
it becomes an axe with an excuse to produce a gore fountain a dozen times higher than a normal axe, and its aesthetic traits are distinct. normally the axe can only have a moment of respite similar to the bind of a sword either because a heavy swing has stuck it in something or because the opponent got within its range and the axe-wielder is cross-checking them defensively. in both of these situations the axe wielder is passive. the chain-axe doesnt prevent this, but it lets them also take an aggressive position inside of the bind.
instead of being stuck inside an opponent's shield and needing to yank their axe out, there can be a moment of pause before the saw revs up and starts to rip through the shield toward the opponent's hand. likewise, normally the axe requires a big visually satisfying swing to do damage and, due to its distant blade from the handle, cannot be used in close quarters. thus during a bind the axe wielder must use a secondary weapon (including natural weapons). the chain-axe can still do that as well, but their weapon doesnt require a swing to do damage, and if they shove the enemy back during the bind they can rev the axe up and saw into them with it from the grappling position.
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@marypsue thank you for your replies on this post! i'm going to reply back in its own post to give myself more space:
"Okay, a. Have you read Stephen Graham Jones' Indian Lake Trilogy? PLEASE read Stephen Graham Jones' Indian Lake Trilogy."
YES i absolutely loved those books! i actually was thinking about them and other meta horror books i'd read around the same time and it led to this post. more specifically i was thinking about how i read my heart is a chainsaw right after reading the final girl support group and i have to say it blew that book right out of the water when it came to meta slasher novels. i'm probably going to make another thoughts post on why i think one worked for me and the other left me kind of disappointed because that's what i was originally thinking about.
"b. I'm hard agreeing with you about the cast being sorted into roles and those roles being much narrower and stricter in some of the 'meta commentary' horror than they ever were in what they're trying to comment on, and it ending up with them showing their asses. (This is a problem I'm specifically having with the 'final girl MUST be a virgin' in modern meta slasher horror, including Behind the Mask - Alice in Friday the 13th literally lived alone at Camp Crystal Lake for the better part of a year with her boyfriend, you're trying to tell me she was a virgin just because she was better at strip Monopoly than Brenda and didn't lose as many clothes? OK, go back and read your Carol J. Clover again.)"
yeahhhh this too. i think we might be able to blame this at least partly on scream laying out the "rules" in a way that might make a lot of people think most horror films (or just slashers) have hard and fast rules they stick to rigidly even though when you look at the films themselves, it's rarely the case. this might be true for any genre parody, really.
the "virginal final girl" thing is interesting because like...it kind of reminds me of those dubiously-historical posts that go around like "fun fact! when a spell calls for 'virgin blood' it doesn't literally mean the blood of a virgin, it actually refers to blood that's never been used in a ritual before!" i feel like when carol clover defined the final girl as usually being less transgressive than her peers, it got mutated into a much more literal interpretation of "purity" or "virginity". fascinating how modern genre commentaries will end up being based more on the perception of all this accrued analysis and parody and commentary over the years than on any particular films themselves. frustrating, but fascinating. (maybe cabin in the woods could have done something with the virgin ritual interpretation - to their credit, the film does say "the virgin doesn't have to be literal".)
"I rammed particularly hard up against that one in Craig DiLouie's How To Make A Horror Movie And Survive, which had some interesting things to say about Hollywood and the difference between true crime and horror - but also purported to be set in the mid-80s, and all of the characters were all talking about wanting to play the Final Girl but getting typecast as the Bad Girl, or the 'rules' of slasher horror, like please! Scream isn't out yet! Men, Women, and Chain Saws isn't even out yet! 'Final girl' isn't a Thing yet! Let alone any 'rules' for who she can be!"
have not read that one but yeah, that's the thing, a lot of this analysis and people specifically naming and pointing out the tropes is a lot newer than you think! this might be why i prefer meta horror where the characters in-universe are fans of horror movies and know the tropes rather than being literally trapped in a horror movie as self-aware movie characters. and of course it works best when you can tell the writer(s) are also fans of the genre and know it intimately.
i never thought of myself as a big fan of slashers specifically but given how it's often one of the more derided horror subgenres and also the most parodied, i find myself getting pedantic about it a lot. and while i don't really want to claim that the genre as a whole can't be misogynistic or thematically conservative (i don't think any genre is inherently conservative or progressive, but horror sure gets accused of being the former a lot...) i also find myself defending it when the criticisms or assertions are just not accurate. so i guess i'm more of a slasher fan than i thought!
thanks again for your replies, this is a subject with a lot to say about it. i've had so many horror meta thoughts swirling around my brain ever since i got really into it as a special interest so it's been great having someplace to write it all down (hopefully) coherently!
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So I decided to make an analysis about the last scene of Infinite Darkness
But before I start with the fun part, I just want to tell you that my history with “angst ships”
I had a bad experience with another ship, soul mates full of angst tropes and true love, beautiful... and a really bad ending because the showrunner fought with the actors (I wasted years watching and I regret it).
Anyway, after suffering that kind of pain, no other ships and angst scenes can hit me hard enough. I'm numb or just got used to it. You choose.
So maybe the scene of Leon and Claire's argument wasn't that impactful for me because of that. But for all the fans who felt hurt, I understand and it's okay to feel that way, because the scene was meant to hurt. The scene exists because of that. And your feelings are valid.
So let's get to the fun part.
spoiler alert, it's not that fun, it actually hurts 😅
The scene starts with Leon going to meet Claire at the gates of the White House.
I don't think anyone denies the fact that, whatever Leon is doing, he just wants to protect Claire. And he doesn't want her involved because of it.
But this dialogue makes this even more evident if we analyze how it begins.
Nothing in a show or movie is by accident. Everything is handpicked for one reason or another. The meaning is not always that deep, but there is still a meaning behind it all.
So when – of all the ways a conversation can be started – they decide to make Claire joke that she sneaked out of the hospital, Leon takes it seriously and she has to clarify that it's a joke, there's a reason:
Show that Leon is taking what happened to her too serious, and Claire not that much.
When Claire makes a comment about when he's going to stop treating her like a kid and he says probably never. There's a reason:
Show that Leon wants to protect her (or being overprotective) and Claire doesn't like it.
Of course, some might argue that this specific line is capcom trying to show that their feelings aren't romantic and sink the ship completely. And, ok, people are free to think that.
But if they really wanted to sink cleon forever, they shouldn't have done the scene of Leon saving Claire the way they did. They did it because they knew it would tease a certain part of the fans... They knew exactly what they were doing...
And there's simply no reason to tease a ship you want to sink.
So no, I don't think that's it...
For me the scene means the classic and simple: "stop being worried about me🙄" "noooo🗣️"
Another way to intensify Leon being overprotective is Claire's broken arm. A reminder that she was injured following his plan. Just as she was hurt the last time they saw each other in Harvardville.
And yes, I know Degeneration made Claire hurt to take her out of the action. It is undeniable. But somehow I don't think the same situation and reason applies to Infinite darkness.
Because Claire was already out of combat, following Leon's plan and showing no intention of doing anything different. It's not like she's going to attack the monster that is several platforms higher than where she is. She couldn't fly around and there were no guns where she was anyway.
So why hurt her to get her out of combat if the story itself has already done that?
Again, you are free to think differently. Capcom made Claire dirty, she was underestimated and they wasted her potential. I won't argue with that, I'm also on the team Claire deserves better.
I just don't think it fits this specific situation.
The injured arm is there and a awkward conversation about Leon being overprotective starts because of it. I think it makes sense.
So moving on.
Claire mentions the chip and Leon looks disappointed for a moment and says he thought they were going to dinner.
This is to indicate that he didn't come to see her with the intention of breaking their friendship. Leon just wanted to spend a good time with her and nothing more. Some place a little more normal, maybe?👀
But Claire wants the chip and tells Leon her plan. The same plan that Shen May was killed trying to convince her partner to follow. Is there a parallel here?
The only difference is that Jason broke her neck while Leon decided to break Claire's heart.
Okay now I could show more parallels between them, but I won't because this is already too long and I know maybe I'm reading too much into this. Resident Evil isn't that deep most of the time 😂
Anyway, Claire asked for the chip and Leon said no.
And that's the point, right.
The climax of the conversation and the turning point in their relationship.
Note that Leon took a few seconds to say he couldn't. That was the moment when he made his decision...
He went to meet her for dinner, remember? He didn't expect to have this conversation or make a decision like that. But he had to.
Now, I'm not from the US and I don't trust politicians in general, fiction or not. But I admit this sounds realistic.
Just imagine if the president makes a speech about peace and prosperity and whatever and the next day the media reveals that members of the government are involved in BOW and planning an attack on another country.
At the very least, it won't look good.
In the worst case, it will be a catastrophe 😂
So... I don't agree with Leon, but I understand why he chose this.
It's an important decision, however. And how long it takes him to say something and how he's quiet after saying it shows he knows what's on the line. Not just the security of the country and “peace”, but also his relationship with Claire.
And despite everything... He didn't lie to her.
It would be much easier for Leon to simply say "the chip was destroyed in the fight" when she asked. Claire would never know about it and probably never doubt him. And they would still be fine with each other and having dinner.
But he didn't lie. Why?
Because their relationship is not based on lies. And it's not based on betrayals.
And while it may be hard to believe right now and it hurts to think about it, this relationship is still based on truth and trust in each other. And now their relationship is being tested.
It's easy to trust someone you're on good terms. How hard it must be to trust someone who has let you down.
There is a lot of room for development here.
Obviously Claire felt hurt in this moment. Maybe even betrayed. Heartbroken. I think we all feel that same way.
But Leon played fair there. He said he had the chip, showed it to her, and then said he wouldn't give it to her.
He was honest with her. And this act also shows respect.
They are two people with different points of view and that truth hurts.
There is silence as they look at each other. She never asked his reasons and he obviously never told them. The exchange of glances is enough for them to understand what was happening.
When Claire says “you do things your way and I do mine” it's almost like “do you know what that means? ”
Then Leon nods and another moment of silence. The time they need to accept that the relationship is broken.
Now that's angst
Interesting choice of camera angle. Showing her broken arm as a visual reminder of why he was pushing her away like that.
Claire leaves, but looks back and says again that his outfit doesn't suit him.
What's interesting here is that the director has done a few interviews over the past few weeks and he always said that the suit is a representation of Leon's position in government.
Claire commenting that it doesn't suit him is basically the writers/producers/directors admitting that this position doesn't look good.
And while all the characters praising Leon for his success, Claire is the one who sees this reality and who he truly is out of the suit (position)
And that's good angst.
Claire walks away and Leon with a sad look watching her leave and he has to say to himself "I will stop this".
Could it be just one of his one-lines? Yes.
Could it be a way for him to remind himself why he's doing this, even if it means sacrificing his relationship with Claire?
It's already done, now he has to make it worth it.
Whatever happens after that is a mystery.
I don't think Claire believes that Leon is going to cover up the government's involvement in things (their discussion would be much more intense if that were the case), she probably thinks he's going to resolve it internally without taking anything public, which is precisely what she wants to do.
I also don't think Leon believes Claire is going to give up on the investigation, he probably thinks it's going to take some time to her to get real evidence and he has time to carry out his plans.
But this is capcom... They are masters of forgetting plot points. So who knows.
Angst is only good if it has a good closure. I hope they keep that in mind.
In any other tv show that used this kind of angst trope and drama I would be completely fine...
I would expect a sequel to this plot. The characters find each other unexpectedly, having to work together and acting awkwardly because they don't know how to stick around each other after the argument. Then the story would develop and they would gradually mend their relationship.
That's the trope.
So that's all I can hope for.
#cleon#this just got too long and l didn't write half of my thought 😅#I only watch the show once but I've seen this scene a thousand times#I'll probably have more to say after rewatching everything again#leon kennedy#claire redfield#resident evil infinite darkness#leon x claire#claire x leon
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im not v good at media analysis but ive had some thoughts bouncing around in my head that i need to outlet somehow so just, bear with me okay lmfao
anyway i think that at least in the first 3 movies death is meant to be synonymous with love, and it drives me batshit insane (affectionate). like ok first there was that post that went around a few years ago that rightfully pointed out that every man elizabeth kissed has both been in love/lust with her and also has died. (i am also including jack in this, because although i dont think they were ever "in love", they're practically obsessed with each other in a strange toxic sort of way that weaponizes affection so it counts lol. i could go on about this too bc it makes me insane too)
not to mention, like, davy jones' entire story being a tragic love story, the man literally cannot die because of calypso... i mean its not that simple obv but from his perspective at least he believes calypso does not return his affection for her even though she DOES, just not in the way he can really anticipate or comprehend. which to me i think means that while death = unrequited love, undeath or coming back to life (like will does as well) is a sign of love that is actually returned
like i could go on but ANYWAY, this all in mind, the fact that jack and barbossa then are both responsible for not only killing each other but that barbossa led the charge to bring jack back to life is crazy like?????? are we seeing this
I really really like this anon!! I might personally not go so far as to say they're synonymous but I'd absolutely agree that they go hand in hand, like it's sort of hard at least for me to draw direct symbolic parallels but so much of the death we see is definitely tied super closely to love just like you say!! the elizabeth thing is like an observed phenomenon and I esp find it interesting that the captain of the dutchman curse has this strong connection to love where I'd argue love is sirt of what's supposed to keep the captain tied to the mortal world in a sense?? also really neat that barbossa's curse has the "I feel nothing" aspect to it in combination with the unable to die, as well as love and death having a certain connection in media like historically there's really so much to be done with this concept so I'd love to hear more from you regarding it!! I like just woke up so sorry for rambling but anon you say you're no good w media analysis and I just wanna take this moment to say that a) you obviously have a sense for it and b) this is how you get better at it like do exactly this find a reoccurring motif and inspect it, see where it leads you!! I really value media literacy and I'd argue it's definitely a learned skill so I just wanna like encourage you and anyone who reads this who might find analysis a bit daunting to give it a shot. I think potc especially is really good as a starting point if you wanna get into it because it's not The most complex thing in the world like it's still a kids movie but it does have a lot of stuff going on without it being like overwhelming I guess the word is???
#ask#sorry for turning this into a rant in my defense i did like i said literally just wake up#i just. i heart media analysis and i think it's not as impossible as some people make it out to be#like it's really a process of learning to identify the different parts of the machine#anyway anon i love you and i believe in you do great things like this really is a really good observation!!!
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What do u think abt the recent PJMS mess on twt...
@/darlinjimi turning out to be masc jimin obsessed (scary tbh) and then resorting to hate on him when he did smthg that was contrary to her ideal image of him. The way she was tweeting as if she controlled the entire pjm fandom was scary and very eye opening to me abt the fan culture in kpop
I'm only a little🤏🏻 worried abt how this affects the fandom
The depth of it all...
It wasn't a secret that she was a raging heterosexual obsessed with Jimin, but the homophobia of it all... But it makes sense. Jimin was just a tool for her, and her content was very specific and always stayed in the same category: sex. The problem was that at some point, I guess she noticed that Jimin was not providing that type of content for her to get her... creative... juices flowing. She can't post a photo like this and honestly go "I wanna sit on his legs so bad" or something like that.
If you know the tiniest thing about Elvis, you'll understand why she caved in to that movie and the actor and even to the dead man himself lmao. He loved the ladieSSS, loved their attention, had that deep MANLY voice, you know. She didn't need much to start comparing Jimin to Elvis and/or the actor. Jimin was simply not useful for her anymore. Jimin was not feeding her fantasy anymore. Which is okay, at its core. It's okay if someone's not doing it anymore for you, we get over our attraction to people all the time, and people close their accounts about their interests all the time ,or they move on to other fandoms; it doesn't tell me much more kpop fandoms beyond what everyone already knows: that we're consumers. Every member of BTS and the group itself, it's all there to be consumed. Everyone is free to walk away when the content out there is not something you want to consume. A lot of armys walked away because the music and the performances was no longer to their liking. A lot of us feel the same way about that. When it comes to idols, their personalities, personas, whatever you wanna call it, it's up for consumption too. It's why they are encouraged and why they know that they have to be multifaceted and show something for everyone. Nobody needs to give the idols any instructions. The "duality" is there so the people who like them pretty and cute can have pretty and cute; but they have to be sexy and dark too so the people who like sexy and dark can have that as well. I guess one side of Jimin's "duality" was getting too big for her to ignore, and it's not the playboy side she liked. It's why Jungkook on Instagram stories was the talk of the town, because he was catering to fans. He was giving fans the sweet flirty talk, the you're mine, I'm yours, I will be your boyfriend, etc. He was being consumed. I know it sounds weird, because nobody ever puts these things into words like this, but it is what it is. We all know it's happening, we just don't really talk about it in an analysis type of way.
In this case she was angry not only because at some point Jimin stopped catering to her fantasies, but because there's something worse about it: Jimin might be gay. Maybe Jimin is not telling her you're mine or whispering sweet nothings into her ear not only because he doesn't know her, but because he might not even be interested in the female gender at all. How is Jimin not being the type of man she needs him to be for her to be attracted to him.
And here comes the thing that most people don't talk anymore about homophobia: most will be okay with you being gay as long as you aren't "rubbing it in on everyone's faces". People look at let's say Ricky Martin, and once they're past the initial shock of remembering "oh shoot he's gay", they forget that he is gay. Because he doesn't act gay, and most importantly: he doesn't look gay. He's still desirable to women and he looks and acts the way it's socially accepted for men to look and act.
On the other hand, there are other men that don't let you forget that they are gay. And darling Jimin would've been okay, she would've been just fine and could've kept doing whatever she did and not resent Jimin if he was still desirable to her. If he still acted and looked the way it's socially acceptable for men to look and act. Even Elvis could be gay as long as he's still acting like a man, you know. Someone who would pick her up in his arms and have her sitting on his legs. Unlike Jimin, who as time goes by seems less and less interested in doing any of that.
One of those freaks said something like "if he's gay he should be the top at least". And it's all because of what I said above. In the unconcious mind, there's a deep rooted idea that GIVING DICK is better than RECEIVING IT (homophobia meets misogyny). Being "the top" would mean a more manly Jimin, someone who still caters to her idea of masculinity and to the fantasy that he would be able to and would want to fuck her.
There's so much more I could say about it, sexuality and all it encompasses it's such an extensive field, but I tried to stay on topic on not bring other people into the discussion Maybe another time.
Yeah LMFAO the way she acted as if she was physically destroying something with her tweets with 5 likes. All along it's always been about her. PJM twitter and even Jimin himself had to be about her.
Anyways, Park Jimin.
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how would you sort taylor swift albums into hogwarts houses? take this however you want, babe.
Taylor Swift Albums as Harry Potter Houses
Jet, darling, you send some of my favorite asks. I love this question @romeoandmesittinginatree 💛 I'll be grouping the albums by house and providing brief explanations about each! Also I have color-coded each album because there are nine of them and I put way more effort and organization into this post than I probably should 😂
Gryffindor:
Fearless (Taylor's Version) and Speak Now: I'm putting these two together because the explanations for both are the same. Both of these albums have songs about going for the relationship you want, despite the risks (F: "You Belong With Me," "Love Story," "Jump Then Fall," "Hey Stephen." SN: "Ours," "Mine," "Speak Now," "Enchanted," "If This Was a Movie," "Back to December," and "Haunted.")
They both also have songs about being hurt over the betrayal of loyalty, and about swinging back at people who hurt you. (F: "Tell Me Why," "You're Not Sorry," "Forever and Always," and "Don't You". SN: "Better Than Revenge," "Dear John," "Mean," "Innocent,") Plus, SN has "Long Live" and that's such a Gryffindor song.
Both albums just really embody Gryffindor attitudes and values, and I sort of see Speak Now as an extension of Fearless.
Hufflepuff:
Debut (self-titled): This album wants so badly for life to be fair and good, and when things go well, the world is bright and lovely; when it doesn't, don't underestimate its capacity for taking matters into its own hands and making things right. "Picture to Burn" and "Should've Said No" have the kind of anger that makes you feel like you're seeing red and you want to throw things and you feel so wronged over an injustice. Some might associate that feeling with Gryffindor, and while I don't disagree with that analysis, I think a Hufflepuff, despite their reputation for patience, could easily lose it over an egregious wrong.
But those two songs are sort of outliers. The rest of the album is full of songs with either wide-eyed optimism ("Stay Beautiful," "Mary's Song," "Our Song," "I'm Only Me When I'm With You,") or the quiet pain of someone who is hurting a lot but doesn't quite know what to do with it ("Cold As You," "Teardrops On My Guitar," "A Place In This World," "Invisible," "The Outside," "Tied Together With a Smile," and "A Perfectly Good Heart,")
Red (Taylor's Version): Okay, I struggled a lot with sorting this one. I could see it in Gryffindor, but it was the new vault tracks combined with the original album that really solidified this sorting for me. Hufflepuffs are kind, loyal and patient ("Girl At Home," "Message In A Bottle," "State of Grace," "The Very First Night," "Treacherous"). But we also have such a strong sense of justice ("I Bet You Think About Me," "I Knew You Were Trouble," "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," "The Lucky One,").
There's also some idealism in Hufflepuffs ("Stay Stay Stay," "Starlight," "Everything Has Changed," "Come Back...Be Here"). And a deep desire to be kind enough and good enough and lovable enough. ("Nothing New,")
And when we're hurt, we are hurt. ("All Too Well (10 Minute Version), "I Almost Do," "Begin Again," "Sad Beautiful Tragic," "Better Man," "Babe,")
Also, that album has 30 songs, which I think pretty much ticks the "hard work" box lol.
Lover: This album is such an interesting and unique examination of love, in all its forms. There are songs about romantic love, sure, but it also addresses paternal love, self-love, and friendship.
This album is, in my opinion, underrated compared to the rest of Taylor's work. Like Hufflepuffs, some people write it off as too happy, which I think comes from songs like "Paper Rings," "ME!," "London Boy," "Lover," "I Think He Knows," and "It's Nice To Have A Friend" And yes, those are happy and upbeat, but I don't think they, nor the rest of the album, are naive or too innocent.
There's also "Daylight" and "False God" and "Afterglow" and "Cornelia Street," which are all about the ups and downs of love, how resilient it is. And don't get me started on the heartwrenching "Soon You'll Get Better;" I don't listen to that song, which ought to tell you something.
It also has songs about justice, a central Hufflepuff value, with "You Need To Calm Down" and "The Man" and "Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince" (Miss Americana, for those who don't know, is a metaphor for the 2016 US presidential election).
Ravenclaw:
folklore: Is there a more Ravenclaw album? This album screams burnout and overthinking things. It's also one of her smartest albums. I mean, c'mon: "the lakes," and "the last great american dynasty" are about writing/literature and history, respectively. It's very pensive and brooding, and very intellectual, and it's just very Ravenclaw to me.
Slytherin:
1989: Of all the albums, I struggled the most with sorting this one. "Shake It Off," for example, had me thinking Gryffindor or Hufflepuff.
But then I thought of "Blank Space" and "Bad Blood" and how those are about plotting revenge being badass. And at first, I thought "How You Get The Girl" was pretty Gryffindor until I realized that it was the speaker asking someone else to do those things. A Slytherin would want someone else to be that vulnerable. Same with "All You Had To Do Was Stay" and "I Wish You Would."
Plus, "Out Of The Woods" and "I Know Places" are both about a secret relationship, which isn't a purely Slytherin thing, but I associate guarding precious, vulnerable things with being a Slytherin.
reputation: It's not just because of the snake aesthetic, but that certainly doesn't hurt. This album is cunning, revenge-focused, but most of all it's about hiding until you're ready to strike. One element of this album that people tend to forget is that there are several love songs on it, and I think a love that's about fierce loyalty—and gratitude for it—is pretty damn Slytherin. It's protective, offensive, and defensive all at once.
I mean, look at "Getaway Car," the ultimate song about playing games in love. There's also "I Did Something Bad" and "Look What You Made Me Do" and "Ready For It" which are all songs with plenty of ambition. "Gorgeous" is a funny song about being a little mad at yourself for being so taken and smitten with someone, and showing those emotions in every way other than actually expressing them.
"Delicate" and "Dress" and "Dancing With Our Hands Tied" relate to my thing about Slytherins and secret relationships.
evermore: I considered putting this with its sister album, but I considered it more and realized it belonged in Slytherin. It, too, is cunning and very loyalty-focused. I mean, "no body no crime," is about plotting murder. Plus, I hear songs about people trying not to fall in love and keep up their guard, like "cowboy like me," and "gold rush" and "'tis the damn season."
#this took longer than i anticipated but don't worry it didn't take weeks i just procrastinated on it for a while lol#it mostly took a while bc i couldn't decide on 1989 lol#harry potter#taylor swift#gryffindor#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#slytherin#hogwarts houses#hogwarts#harry potter fandom#harry potter x taylor swift
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I know you’re busy with work, but have you considered taking meta analysis submissions? I know you’re blog has gotten me to think about a lot of topics regarding Digimon (the movies, filler, how the anime adapts the core aspects of the franchise, amongst other things).
It's going to be less of a question of whether I'm willing to take suggestions (I'm absolutely happy to try answering any question anyone has, provided it's not in bad faith and doesn't deal with an overly uncomfortable/personal topic) but whether I'll even be capable of answering in a timely fashion. If you have something you'd like me to cover, I definitely recommend asking me now instead of later, because the more time passes, the less I can guarantee I'll be around to answer it.
I know I do look somewhat prolific even now, to the point it probably makes my current (edit: last) pinned post look a little embarrasing, but the truth is that I'm mostly scrambling to answer asks and write while I can, and I'm definitely not capable of making those extremely long meta posts with 15+ images every other day the way I used to. Even the things I can put out now are with the help of my group chat. Right now the only one of significant length I've got on the backlog is the Survive one, and if the game had been out a year or two ago I'd have finished the game and the meta a week after release date, but obviously now that's just not happening. I'm also fairly certain that even if The Beginning ends up becoming the world's greatest movie with a whole PhD's worth of meta material, I probably will not be able to cover it as thoroughly I did Kizuna. (I mean, maybe my love for 02 will create a miracle, but I can't assume that right now.)
I wrote that pinned post because sometimes I do have time and sometimes I don't, and I really do not know what could happen even a day or a week or a month from now, so I wanted to have my bases covered as long as I still could. Fortunately, the last three months at least gave me enough room to answer asks and put the occasional longform thing out here and there, but there is still a reasonable possibility I might just completely vanish from this blog entirely out of nowhere tomorrow or the day after, and it won't be because I want to, but because that's how real life has decided to treat me and I need to pay the bills. But I still do want to be around, and it's not like I'm bothered, so as long as you're okay with the fact I may not finish quickly or even at all, or with the idea I may not be able to cover it particularly thoroughly and the resulting "meta" will be very short, please do feel free to try your luck, and I'll try mine.
(Of course, there are also topics that I won't be able to cover in depth simply because I'm not good at those topics. I try to keep up with as much as I can, but I'm a single human being, and even with my group chat there are some things I may end up giving very disappointing one- or two-sentence answers. I'm sorry about that!)
Anyway, thank you for the kind words -- I'm really happy if my writings here have been interesting or useful in any way!
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28 Reasons - EP review
Reviewing 28 Reasons the title track:
Music production analysis:
Exactly what I thought we would be expecting, this song is perfect for Seulgi. The lyrics also perfectly seeds into the darkness of a human being. Although, my belief is different to what the video was about, it was a video in which it was answering one of the biggest questions in the philosophical world, this song was trying to just prove an explanation to it. Giving weird examples of "I kiss your brother, I steal that heart, you can't even feel the poison" shows that I may have been the perpetrator for kissing him, but deep inside him he has a heart in which is willing to give to evil because he can't feel it, he might be evil, and trying to not become tempted towards evil. Another part is the bridge, where it says "You're in danger, but it's okay, you're grown up", how we are growing up and only then we might realise if we are truly pure evil or pure goodness. The lyrics was a beautiful argument, going from the pov of evil to the pov of good. The instrumental, the whistle that was added made the song 20000x better, the bridge made me realise how much this instrumental sounds like something out of a movie and with that I am going to move on the the music video production.
Music video production:
I mean I didn't expect anything less, the music video was so beautiful to look at, it was almost like watching a movie, the two different people of Seulgi, itself makes it so much better. It's such a beautifully put music video. The angles were beautiful, the settings that Seulgi was put in, was really good, the wider perspective in the beginning, with the white, probably shows the good and how she is much lost in a wide grassland, it shows how small the goodness we have is compared to this world, how, the bad stares at the good, possibly leading to her death as she was levitating later on in the video, it was brilliantly made. To fit the music, the lyrics, it made it overall really easy to understand what was going on, I'm really grateful to the production team that made this debut even more excellent, I have no words except fantastic!
The rest of the EP review:
Dead Man Runnin':
Interesting production, I do have to say my favourite part is the bridge, it's godly. The chorus on where she keeps the note for longer, the bridge again, where there is a normal, quiet bridge and then repeats it again but with a more upbeat instrumental is just perfection. This song is truly really good, but not something I will listen to, if you like a song that is dark and that gradually gets louder I would recommend this.
Bad Boy, Sad Girl (ft. BE'O)
How do I explain my love for this song, I love it so much. It's so good. It's simple but cute to listen to every now and then. It's a lovesick song, but with feelings of anger yet is put in a such a calm, beautiful manner in which makes me vibe in my own bedroom, I cannot explain my love for this song, because it's too good. The chorus is so addicting and catchy to listen to. These days I have just been randomly saying to myself "eme hageganun bad boy bad boy bad boy gwe nisen chi hejonan sad girl sad girl sad girl, onel bam dom up alone" it's so good. Favourite from the album.
Anywhere But Home:
Yet another bop. This fits Seulgi's voice so well, probably the best out of any song here. The chorus is so cute and catchy, a simple yet beautiful song, I might listen to this while I'm going to get the train or something, again a song of love but it's a matter of is this serious love instead of hopeless love that we see in Bad Boy Sad Girl. Really good tho. I would recommend this to people that like Red Velvet b-sides ig, or jus something sweet to listen to, it sounds almost magical, this love in this song.
Los Angeles:
It sounds like a really good DJ remix, ngl. I'm not saying tha just because of the chorus, the whole song just sounds like it, with the background noises, even during the bloody bridge. So, if you like DJ remix songs like Alan Walker songs or David Guetta or Sophie Francis songs, I guess this song might be partially to you liking, it's just a has a bit of a darker concept.
Crown:
It's not an extraordinary song, it's a pretty decent song, but it's the perfect song to end the experience of the album. It really made me think and realise that I have to take all of this album in, and that's only when I realised how good and perfectly this album was made. It was beautiful for a debut. And I only wish Seulgi to go forward from here as a solo artist, this concept also really suits her and I hope she continues with it.
Overall: 10/10
Ranking of EP album's songs:
1) Bad Boy, Sad Girl (ft. BE'O)
2) 28 Reasons
3) Anywhere But Home
4) Los Angeles
5) Dead Man Runnin'
6) Crown
#kpop#kpop gg#new account#kpop song#red velvet#song review#seulgi#28 reasons#ep review#ep release#song#song recommendation#song recs#seulgi solo#kpop song review#red velvet kpop#28 reasons seulgi#seulgi 28 reasons#kpop girls#sm entertainment#song of the day#kpop review#review#music blog#music recs#music recommendation#musicislife#music#dark music
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Something for the Jjk boys/girls and the kinda first dates they'd prefer? (Not headcanons just your thoughts)
awee yes. okay so i'm only gonna do this for the characters that i know well/ones that i like :) i love this ask omg
ps. i clearly read their wiki pages since i'm not an expert on any of them yet, but i still think i did pretty decent :)
pss. i guess there could be slight spoilers for suguru's if you haven't read the manga, i'm not sure where in the plot the anime is right now
psss. thoughts are headcanons tho ??
fushiguro megumi (precious baby boi) would appreciate something chill, nice, quiet, a good opportunity to get to know you. He wouldn't like something like going to a movie because you wouldn't get to talk much + you'd pretty much leave the way that you came. Nothing like a walk in the park because he's not super into nature like that. He gets super anxious around a lot of people so he'd like to go to the beach or honestly a cute little library date. He loves reading so he'd like to know your tastes in literature, you guys would recommend books to each other + he would have such a good time talking about everything under the sun with you. He might even get a little bit deep about his family + childhood if he feels comfortable enough with you. Second date would happen only if you guys mesh well + you're easy going, don't make him anxious.
fushiguro toji (yes, i'm in love w this dilf) will take you somewhere that he can show you off. If this is an actual date because he's genuinely interested in you and not using you for sex/money, he'll splurge just a bit. He doesn't really like to drink, but he'd take you somewhere nice like a lounge or cabaret club with plush seating and dim lighting. He often likes to catch people off guard with deep topics and revealing just a little bit of his soul to them. Expect hella deep conversation, although he also likes to keep it somewhat light hearted, but in a more Toji Way. If you seem like you can handle that, his mood, and his overall aura, then he deems that you've got guts + he'll ask for a second date. also, get ready to be fucked :)
geto suguru (before the fall) is very traditional, if you couldn't already tell from the everything about him. He would like to take you out to a nice dinner, not nice in terms of the price/decor, but nice in terms of the food and people. A real hole in the wall. This place is known to all the true locals for its soba and suguru wants you to experience it. if he's asked you out on a date, it means he's known you for a super long time + has come to truly trust + appreciate you. he doesn't let very many people get close to him, so you're in his close circle of friends. but not even satoru has been to this soba place, so it's suguru's little way of letting you know you're special to him. he's very easy going so he'd keep conversation light and humorous, but he'd be secretly analyzing you to figure out if you'd be a proper partner for him. the second date depends on his analysis results.
gojo satoru is game for anything so you guys might just chill + walk around to figure out what you wanna do. honestly, you guys will just end up going around town + being goofy, teasing each other, popping into every cafe/bakery you two set your eyes on. he keeps the mood light + fun and keeps you giggling the entire time. you both have a blast + he's down to do it again. he sucks at serious romance so it might feel more like hangz than a date, but he does his best to give it Date Vibes by calling you "darling" + "sweetheart" and curling an arm around your waist or intertwining your fingers at a moment's notice. if the date goes well, he will kiss you + it's absolutely the most extra thing in the world. he'll whirl you around, grab you by your waist + dip you low to kiss you into bliss. a second date is a hit or miss--you'll never know until he ghosts you or starts bothering you to go out with him again.
inumaki toge loooves cutesy things + japanese culture. he would definitely like to bring you to an anime cafe or even the Manga Museum in Kyoto as a first date. since he can't talk much or say anything super meaninful, he wants to do something fun that you can both enjoy that doesn't involve deep conversation. if you guys go to a cafe, the more likely option, he would let you order whatever parfait you want + you guys would do that cute little thing where you've got one parfait + two spoons. he's happily eating away the entire time, listening to you talking about yourself. he's super attentive + catches absolutely everything you say, so be careful on deciding what you want to disclose. second dates really just depend on how comfortable you are with his speech situation.
itadori yuuji will 1039% take you to a fair. it's always been his dream to get one of those big stuffed animals for his crush or share a cotton candy with his crush. he'll be so excited. he has no qualms about grabbing your hand + dragging you through the fair, chatting excitedly about various things he sees or wants to try or wants to eat. you guys will spend a l o t of time in the mini games section + he wins every single game, so you end up with your arms full of stuffed animals, each one he hands over with a blinding smile. he is so precious oh my god. he's not into that cliche shit, though, like if you guys go on the ferris wheel + you're stopped at the top, he'll be like "don't people usually kiss in situations like this ?? that's kinda lame, you could be enjoying the view". you are exasperated. if he likes you enough, though, he's not shy about kissing you. he will pick a very opportune time (driving home from the fair, stopped at a stop light) to kiss you. second dates are a little bit hard to come by with him because he can be super scatter-brained, you need to leave a real impression on him. but if you have !! the next date will be way more chill, most likely grubbing on the couch with a good movie on.
kugisaki nobara would 1000% take you out shopping. she finds it very important to find out what your shopping/clothing style is + if you like to hit up the same stores that she does. if you go to a mall, you guys will find the most popular place in the food court to hit up, or a maybe a niche food stall to try. she'll pay for the meal since she'll probably eat way more than you. she might invite you back to her place to try on all the new clothes you guys bought + if she likes your style, she'll wanna try on your clothes, too. a second date would be likely if she doesn't find you or your style boring, but she'll probably have a good time no matter what. (second date would be sightseeing, ofc).
nanami kento (step on me, namamin) would invite you over to his place to cook with him. he doesn't go on many dates since he's usually too busy dealing with shenanigans regarding curses, but he's been on enough dates to know the "normal" thing to do on a date is go out to eat at a nice restaurant. while he knows a myriad of nice places to go out, he will want to do something a bit more personal. plus it's a good opportunity to get to know each other more + see how you two work together. he will waste no time in initiating physical contact, such as holding your waist + peering over your shoulder as you're cooking something, letting your fingertips brush when you hand each other stuff, putting his hand over yours while you guys talk or eat. four glasses of wine in, perhaps you might get a kiss !! second dates are inevitable because nanamin knows wtf he wants + if he invited you out for a first date, there WILL be a second.
noritoshi kamo lives a very aesthetic life. seems like the type to have a studyblr + be a regular at any niche coffee shop. therefore, your first date with him might just be a coffee/study date. if he's asked you on this date, it means that he's deemed you worthy enough to take his focus away from his studies + sorcery, but that doesn't mean he will abandon it altogether. it's very chill, tho, like he'll help you with whatever you need to study + he buys you coffee !! you guys will take many study breaks in which he'll ask you random questions about yourself, although it takes a little bit of work to get him to talk about himself. second date would most likely be something a little more coupley,,,, once he decides that you can hang,,,
ryoumen sukuna (kill me w your bare hands, 'kuna) doesn't go on "dates". this demon/man's main mode of operation is to hump + dump, so that would pretty much be the "first date". he does take certain people as play-things + has somewhat of a relationship with them. however, if he's taken a particular interest in you, he will bother you to no end. it will be his side mission in life to tease you, bother you, demean you, call you names, berate you--everyone but him knows it's his weird ass form of affection. he doesn't usually bother even speaking to others unless fighting with them or making a deal with him, so the fact that he initiates conversations + contact with you is quite surprising. if you guys were to go out together, it would be to one of those all you can eat conveyor belt sushi places, then he would make you pay the bill :) he does act as somewhat of a gentleman toward you, though, it's the best he can do.
zenin maki would take you to do something outdoorsy. if you're an active person, a good date for you guys would be hiking. maki loves being in nature because she can get away from all the dumbasses in the world, so she is very relaxed during the hike. she'll hold your hand tenderly when the terrain gets rough + not let go (her excuse is she's leading you). eventually, the hike turns into more of a chat + stroll. she's a very good listener + likes to hear about your likes, dislikes, pet peeves, etc. if you're not a very active person, she'd invite herself over to your place to watch horror movies. she's a very straightford person + sees this as an opportunity to snuggle with you during the scary bits (she's not scared, but she's hoping you will be). either way, the date will end in a kiss if she thinks you're intelligent + able to hold you own in a conversation or in life in general. you will know by the end of the first date if you're gonna get a second date with maki, she will not hold back lol.
#jjk#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#fushiguro toji#zenin toji#ryoumen sukuna#itadori#sukuna#zenin maki#inumaki toge#inumaki#gojo#geto suguru#geto#kugisaki nobara#kugisaki#todo aoi#todo#noritoshi kamo#noritoshi#nanami kento#nanami#toji#fushiguro#megumi
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Okay so Preemptive disclosure that 1. I'm dumb and 2. I know nothing about film/the film industry but isn't it weird that a lot of people have favorite directors and not favorite screenwriters? Like we attribute a lot about a movie to the director and I do think they contribute to the way a movie ~feels~ but don't the screenwriters actually determine that content in the first place? Even though I don't watch a lot of films I like to watch/read film analysis because I like thinking about storytelling, and often I see people approaching a directors body of work from the viewpoint of "What can this tell us about the directors view of the world" but what if the director didn't even write half of those things in the first place. Like can you really take a line of dialouge and attribute it to how a director thinks and feels? Obviously this is different if the director is also the writer. And I also can totally understand why people might have a favorite director. For example if a director is often involved with works that have similar elements (like Guillermo del Toro and movies about weird monsters that symbolize things) you'd probably like their movies if you like the same thing. Or if you're genuinely less interested content and are more in it for the ~feel~ but like, if you like mysteries you think you'd be interested in following the works of Screenwriter Adam Mystery who writes Mystery Movies and yet I don't know anyone who has a favorite screenwriter. anyway film people tell me why I'm wrong
#okay im SURE there are people who have favorite screenwriters but as a person whos not all that interested in film#i can name like 10 directors and 0 writers. and like thats weird right?#anyway genuinely kind of terrified that someones gonna reblog this like#'aha youre so brain poisoned by media that you dont understand why DIRECTORS are GOOD'#which is maybe true but like. i mean this in good faith genuinely. i want to learn more about it#oh also shoutout to editors as well because they also contribute a lot and are less acknowledged#anyway. sorry tgis is so long
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Pas de Deux
Pairing(s): Dance teacher!Hoseok x reader
Genre: Hurt/comfort, fluff
Word Count: 6.7k
Warning(s): Profanity
Summary: Your dance teacher, Hoseok, might teach you a bit more than just dancing.
A/n Moral of the story, never seek validation from anyone. You can do whatever you want as long as you're happy and you're not doing anything wrong.
There will be a mention about Blue Side and its meanings. Check this link for the complete analysis (it's in Indonesian). Shout out to the writer for the in-depth analysis.
There were days when you wished you were more flexible. Or athletic. Or both.
Like today for instance.
Your weekly Friday-night private dance class didn’t look too good as usual. First of all, you had a literal dance God stood in front of you as your dance teacher. In front of him, you looked like a baby giraffe learning how to stand on four wobbly legs.
During the past few months you’ve been his student, through ups and downs that had more downs, his smile never faltered, his energy never died out, and his patience never ran out.
Every time you fell on your bruising butt, he only held out his hand to you and put on that million-dollar smile of his. Sometimes- Scratch that- Most of the times, you felt bad when you fell for the nth time in the span of an hour. Other times, you felt bad after your first fall. You definitely didn’t want him to think you were unworthy of his time and attention. That was the worst way a person can embarrass themself.
Your teacher, who went with the name Hoseok, and stage name j-hope, once again danced real slow in hope you could follow him. You both moved at a snail’s pace, but of course, your lack of athleticism wouldn’t let you go for 10 minutes without falling.
Out of nowhere, one of your feet caught up in the other one and made you stumble. And with that, your body unceremoniously collapsed. It was like any other times you had fallen, but unlike those times, you heard a loud crack coming from your foot.
“Oh, shit! Are you alright?” Hoseok stopped instantly and squatted beside you. “Of course you’re not fine. Why did I even ask that?” He mumbled more to himself.
“Which foot was fractured? Can you try moving them?”
You, ever so carefully, tried to move each of your feet. Weirdly enough, you were pretty sure your left one was the one fractured, but you felt a sharp pain when you moved your right one.
You voiced your thoughts, “Umm… I’m not sure which one is fractured. I think it’s the left one, but the right one is more painful.”
Hoseok sighed. “We need to go to the hospital. Here, let me carry you.”
“Wait, I-”
Like you weighed nothing, he heaved you and carried you bridal style. Instinctively, you circled your arms around his neck, his very sweaty and veiny neck. But during this critical moment, a sweaty neck wasn’t on the top of your priorities.
“I don’t think this is necessary,” you said even though the pain on your feet had subsided a bit from being lifted off the ground.
“Absolutely.” He grabbed your bag and turned off the lights. “It would be better if we can use the stretcher, but since I’m alone, we have to settle with this. Sorry if this is uncomfortable.” He walked out of the studio and locked it before walking off to the parking lot.
You estimated that the entire walk from the studio to the parking lot must’ve taken around 10 minutes. At this point, you were 100% sure you felt like a dead weight for him. Yet, he still kept walking while holding you as if it was nothing. It was either you overestimated your weight, or he was stronger than you thought. Your bet was on the second one.
During the ride to the hospital, you racked your brain for a way to say thank you while actually sounding like you were grateful instead of just for formality. But after minutes had passed, you came up with nothing so you just settled with the old “thank you so much”. You just prayed he could see your sincerity through you.
“Don’t mention it. This is what I always do every time someone is injured.”
True to his words, when he entered the emergency room with you in his arms, a nurse yelled his name and directed you two to an empty bed.
“What happened?” the nurse asked as Hoseok carefully lowered you on the bed.
In an instant, the comforting heat radiating off of him disappeared. In exchange for his warmth, you felt the cold mattress and the typical freezing hospital room.
“The usual. But she said that both her feet hurt.” He gestured to you.
“I’m going to call a doctor, okay?” Without waiting for an answer from you, the nurse left.
Once the doctor came, you explained in detail what happened with Hoseok butting in sometimes to add completely unnecessary details. He said things like, “we were almost done with the class”, or, “we were alone there.” Lucky for him, your pain stopped you from wanting to strangle him.
You talked more about possible treatments, how long it would take, and most importantly, how much it would cost. In the end, it was decided that you needed an x-ray.
“You can leave now if you want. I’ll be alright,” you told him right after the doctor told you to wait for the x-ray. The guilt of making him do all of these was starting to eat you inside out.
You had felt guilty from falling multiple times, and now you fell to the point you broke your ankle. If it was possible, you felt ten thousand times more guilty. And the fact that he wasn’t even complaining at least once made you feel like a disappointment.
Maybe it was better if the earth swallowed you whole right now.
He shook his head as he sat on the chair beside the bed. “No way. How will you get home?”
Crap, he was right. There was no way you could walk by yourself after all this. Or call a taxi. Just imagining you had to wear a cast and a crutch already made you shudder. This was going to be a long month, or months, for you.
“You must feel tired now. You’ve been here for-” You glanced at the clock behind his head. “-around an hour now.”
“Do you have a friend you can call over?”
The question hit you more than it should’ve. Your friends, the same people who indirectly forced you to try dancing, all lived across the city. You knew there was no way they would be willing to spend their Friday night at the hospital with you. In your mind, you could already imagine them going out on a fancy dinner, cuddling with their partner, or watching a movie.
Your lack of response was an answer in itself.
“It’s okay. I don’t have anything to do anyways.”
“You don’t have any more students? Tonight? Tomorrow?”
He shook his head. “You’re my last student for the week.” He stopped for a while before continuing, “And my most interesting one.”
You cocked your head to the side. “Interesting? How?”
“You made me think of… things, basically, clearly.”
“Like what?”
He took a deep breath before answering, “I’ve been the best dancer, performer, whatever you wanna call it. And after I started teaching too, I became the best dance teacher in the city. Like, you must’ve already known that from the tariffs of my classes.”
You nodded.
“But since you came to my class a few months ago, things have changed. I just lost… my confidence in my teaching. Maybe my methods are wrong or I need a different approach or maybe-” His words caught in his throat. “-I don’t cut it to be a teacher.”
Your eyes widened at his words. He had mistaken your inability to do athletic stuff for his bad teaching.
“I think you got it all wrong,” you said urgently.
You didn’t want him to think he was a bad teacher. He was, in fact, far from that. So far, you’ve never met a teacher even half as nice as him or half as understanding as him.
He furrowed his eyebrows. “How?”
You hesitated for a moment. Were you really going to out yourself? Your heart screamed, “yes!” at that.
“Well, you see, I’m not the best at, you know, physical stuff. I was actually setting myself up for failure by trying out dancing.” You saw him frowning even further. You let out a nervous giggle. This was a bad idea, but you were already in too deep anyways. “I know this is confusing. My friends have told me that a lot of times.”
A few seconds of silence passed. Hoseok just stared at you, probably trying to figure you out, who knew. You were just weird like that.
Finally he broke the silence. “Can you drive?”
The question caught you off guard. “What?”
“Driving?”
“Of course I can.” You looked down on your injured feet. “Well, not for a while, I guess.”
“And I take it you never accidentally kill someone, right? Or else you wouldn’t be here, you’d be in jail.”
This time, you were the one frowning. Where was this conversation heading? Nonetheless, you nodded your head, answering his question silently.
He, for the first time after you broke your ankle, broke into a grin. “Then you’ll be fine. And I don’t think you set yourself up for failure.” He pouted. “Don’t ever say that again.”
You smiled back at him. “Okay.”
A few moments later, you were called to do an x-ray.
Wordlessly, Hoseok hoisted you up and put you on a wheelchair he found nearby. With that, he pushed you towards the x-ray room. You weren't going to lie for the fact that it kinda felt nice to be pushed by a handsome guy. On the other side, it only made you feel even more guilty.
Once you arrived in front of said room, a nurse took you in and told Hoseok to wait outside.
With your clumsiness, this obviously wasn’t your first time getting x-rayed. So you didn’t really feel nervous, not at all. Plus, you were significantly older than the last time you got x-rayed. There was nothing to be scared of, right?
Who were you kidding? Of course you’d be scared. Your heart thumped loudly against your chest, you wondered if the nurse could hear it. Probably she could, but even if she could, she didn’t say anything.
Okay, then. Maybe you should focus on something else. What about something to tell Hoseok about his fear? You didn’t do a great job of comforting him. Instead, he was the one comforting you. The hell was that about, Y/n?
Without you even realizing, since you were so focused on Hoseok’s fear, the x-ray was over and you were pushed out of the room. Phew… Wasn’t that easy? But you still haven’t thought of something to tell Hoseok, though. Nevermind, you’d probably be better off improvising.
Hoseok sat on the long bench in front of the x-ray room with a small plastic bag in his hand. You were sure he didn’t have that before. Beside him, sat the nurse who accepted you into the emergency room who now was talking animatedly to him.
For the first time since you entered the hospital, you got the chance to take a good look at the nurse.
Her outfit hugged her curves perfectly, no weird bumps or creases. It was as if the fit was tailored just for her. Her hair was up and away from her face in a tight and neat bun. Her makeup faded here and there from the long hours of working, no surprise there. And her glasses only complemented her whole look, making her look beautiful yet strong at the same time.
Looking at her made you wonder about how you looked in comparison.
You were still in your work out clothes that you designated for dancing. They were saggy in weird places as a sign of old age and definitely had been left forgotten in your wardrobe for a long time because you didn’t work out. The leather in your shoes also flaked in some places, indicating that you needed to buy a new pair. You knew not to buy them, though, remembering you weren’t athletic.
As you looked down on your clothes, you realized there was a giant blob of sauce stain just in between your boobs. Where- What? How did you get that? And why hadn’t you realized it until now?
You abruptly stopped yourself from self pity as the nurse pushed you closer to them. If you didn't have beauty or grace or sexiness, at least you had confidence.
The nurse Hoseok was talking to was the first to notice your arrival.
She stood up and asked you, “Are you alright? Do you need a painkiller?”
She was nice, too. No wonder Hoseok would be interested in her.
For a second you imagined what it felt like for someone to be interested in you. You haven’t felt that in a long time. Not that you missed the feeling, you were content with being single and had no intention to date anyone. At least not while your ankles still hurt.
You shook your head. “It’s not that painful.” You turned to the nurse who pushed your wheelchair. “When will the result come out?”
“In a few minutes. For now, you can wait here or in the emergency room.”
You looked at Hoseok, expecting him to answer for you.
He immediately took the cue. “We’ll wait here. Thank you.”
“Alright. I’ll direct you to the doctor’s office once the results are out.”
You mumbled a “thank you” before the nurse left.
The other nurse, who talked to Hoseok earlier, though, didn’t leave as much as you wanted her to. Instead, she sat back beside him and continued the conversation like nothing happened. Like you weren’t even there.
“When I get off my shift later, do you want to grab supper?” she asked while batting her thick lashes. Were nurses allowed to wear fake lashes, you wondered.
Just like the Hoseok you knew, he turned down the offer politely. “Sorry, I don’t really eat supper.”
She pouted in an attempt to look cute. But honestly, with the makeup and sexy clothes, her cuteness was uncalled for.
Gosh you wished you were as sexy or pretty as her, surely you could get any man you want. Nope, you were still happy with being single.
“What about tomorrow? I get bored on Saturdays.”
“I-” His eyes flicked around the room. “I need to check my schedule first.”
Her face lit up. “Text me, okay?” And just like how she didn’t wait for your answer earlier, she left without waiting for his.
You grimaced at their awkward conversation. “She seems… nice.” It came out more like a question.
He exhaled long and hard as if he held his breath the entire time. “And too much.”
“What-?” you sputtered. “She was blatantly asking you out.”
“Yeah, I know that. That’s why she’s too much.”
A question crossed your mind. “Have you known each other for a long time?”
“Not really. But since the number of my students blew up, injuries became more common, so...”
“Oh.” You nodded understandingly.
You suddenly remembered that you had to comfort him.
“You’re actually a great teacher, you know. At least that’s the review from Google. You have 4.8 stars! That’s awesome.” At this point you just blurted out anything nice to him. “My favorite restaurant only has 3.6 stars.” And by anything, you meant everything.
He furrowed his eyebrows. “Thanks?"
“No problem.”
“What about you, though? What do you think of my teaching skills?”
Once again, his questions caught you off guard.
It was still fresh in your mind about the day you signed up for a class with him. How he answered all your questions with his smile never leaving his face. The day of your first class with him, he explained the basics with so much patience. He never said no whenever you asked him to show the moves again and again and again. And today, he took you to the hospital and even waited with you through all the procedures.
He was an extraordinary teacher. And person.
But there was no way you could say all that. It would only embarrass you more.
“I think you’re… nice.”
He furrowed his eyebrows deeper at your words. He surely would get wrinkles early if he kept frowning like that. And that would be so bad for his handsome face.
Okay, maybe it was better if you said all that in the first place.
“I mean,” you spoke up again, trying to redeem yourself. “You’re the best teacher I’ve ever met. You’re nice, understanding, and patient. Something I rarely see in other teachers.” And handsome, you wanted to add, but it was a story for another day.
He finally no longer furrowed his eyebrows.
“May I ask you a question?” he asked quietly.
Another question from him wouldn't hurt, right? “Sure.”
“Why did you decide to try dancing if you knew you weren’t good with ‘physical stuff’?” He did the airquote thing. “Sorry if it’s too personal.”
“No, it’s alright.” You chuckled. “Remember the friends that kept telling me I’m clumsy?”
He nodded.
“Well, they were kinda the reason.”
“Okay…”
You took a deep inhale. “We’ve been friends since the third grade of primary school. We’re basically inseparable. But as close as we are, we have different lives.”
“I understand.”
“One is an athlete. She’s a swimmer and takes part in a lot of national championships. The second one is not as athletic, but she does golf in her free time. She’s extremely good, though. The last one is a pole dancer and she really takes pride in it. So far, I’m the only one who doesn’t really do physical things. In fact, I’m not into physical activities at all.”
“That’s alright. Everyone is different. What do you do?”
“I loved studying.”
“Loved?”
You took multiple deep breaths to prepare yourself to come with the truth. “They always make fun of me for liking reading over physical activities. Until one point I can’t even look at books anymore.” You bit your bottom lip. “They even made a different pact and left me out.”
Books were an important part of your life. And reading was the only time when you could let yourself go from the harshness of the world. The time when you could forget your problems, or even who you were, for a little while. Knowing your friends didn’t like that made you question yourself.
“I think studying is important.” He commented. “If no one is studying, no one will get to be anything.”
“I know that. And I wanted to learn how to be more physically active. That’s why I took this dancing class.” Then you added, ”It’s actually my last resort. I’ve tried and failed other activities.”
“I don’t think you should listen to them. Even your oldest friends can’t be right all the time.” He smiled reassuringly. “Thanks for sharing your problem with me. I’m gonna show you just how amazing non-physical activities can be.”
He looked down on his lap and immediately handed you the plastic bag he'd been holding. "The nurse gave it to me, but you can have it instead."
You accepted the bag and peered inside. There was a loaf of bread, still looking fresh and warm.
After that, everything just flew by. Maybe because you were tired and the day was almost over, or maybe because you had Hoseok beside you, who made waiting felt fun. Or maybe both, who knew.
Soon the results came out and the nurse took you to the doctor’s office with Hoseok following in tow. The doctor explained everything and helped you, along with Hoseok, to get used to walking with crutches. You were also given some pills to ease the pain. And after all that, off you go.
You were back in Hoseok’s car, heading home. Somehow, the smell of his obnoxious orange car freshener smelt comforting compared to the hospital’s disinfectant.
“You really shouldn’t have waited for me.” You glanced at the time on your phone. It was almost midnight. “It’s really late now. I’ll have to give you a big tip later.”
He laughed. It sounded like heaven in your ears. “There’s no need for that. I’m just concerned with your health. Plus, I do this to all of my students. Think of it like part of my service.”
You giggled. “Alright, if you say so.”
He snorted. “One time, a student was even left all day in the hospital by their parents so I had to wait overnight until they came.”
“That’s horrible. Don’t they care about their kid?”
"They do. But they care more about their alcohol."
"I take it they were drunk while their kid was injured?"
"Apparently their stress response is getting drunk."
"Oh my…"
"When I say you're not even half bad as my other students, you have to believe it."
Proving to you one more time about how much of a gentleman he was, once you arrived at your apartment building, he parked his car and helped you out of the car. He guided you all the way to your apartment, making sure you weren't hurt on the way. Maybe you really should find a man like him. Or maybe… him himself?
Nah, you weren’t looking for a partner, remember?
He helped you settle down and was about to leave when he stopped in the middle of the doorway.
He turned around. “Wait. Do you live here alone?”
“Why?”
Instead of answering your question, he blurted another question. “Does your family live nearby?”
“They live outside of the city. Why?”
He looked like he was deep in thought before shaking his head. “Nothing. I’ll just come back tomorrow to help you since you’re alone.”
You weren’t one to stop a handsome guy from helping you, but you already owed so many favours for him.
“You have a date with the nurse, remember?”
He scoffed. “I told her I need to check my schedule. Looks like it’ll be full.”
Okay…
A question suddenly came out of your mouth, "Why do you keep helping me? I have no use for you. I can't attend your classes anymore."
It was true. You wouldn’t be able to do any physical activities, including dancing, for a few months. Not to mention your lack of athletic abilities that would demotivate you from trying to dance again even after you recovered.
At first, he looked startled. His eyes widened and mouth agape. But then he quickly regained his composure before answering, "Is it wrong if I think of us as… friends? Are we not friends after all of this?" He gestured to your leg.
You gestured to your surroundings. "But friends don't do this. My friends don’t do this.”
"Don’t base your understanding on them. They're not good friends, Y/n. I'm sorry.”
“But-” You really wanted to counter his argument, defend your oldest friends. But you knew deep down that he was right and there was nothing you could do.
“Let me be a good friend for you, okay?" he said as he linked his pinky to yours. Marking his promise and the start of your friendship.
He wasn’t one to break promises and you knew it firsthand. Had you known him before, you would’ve tossed your friends long ago.
Over the course of a week, he’d shown you care more than what you’ve gotten from your friends your entire friendship.
He cooked you breakfast, because he said that you had to stop eating junk food if you wanted to recover fast.
“Athletic or not, health is very important,” he said.
“Yes.”
“That means you need to eat healthy, Y/n.” He rolled his eyes. “And don’t even try to give me the puppy eyes, it won’t work on me.”
He force fed you your meds when you intentionally forgot about them.
“I put your meds directly beside your glass and you still managed to forget?” he yelled. “Drink it, or I’ll leave this instant.”
At his threat, you immediately took them. You enjoyed his company and weren’t ready to have him leaving you.
Because he noticed how sullen you looked when you realized you couldn’t go out, he tried to cheer you up by dancing crazily to a song playing on the TV. He waved his arms randomly and went around you while yelling incomprehensibly.
“Can you feel the energy, Y/n?” he asked in between his yells.
“No. Stop before the neighbors complain! You’re too loud!” You cupped both ears with your hands.
“Tell me you feel the energy then I’ll stop.”
You chuckled. “Fine. Yes, I feel the energy. Now, stop!”
He abruptly stopped and threw himself beside you on the couch.
“Ew, you’re sweaty. Get off of my couch!”
Among everything that Hoseok had to help you with, adulting was the hardest. In particular, the working part of adulting. Obviously, you needed to take a leave for a month and in order to do that, you first had to go through your boss’ wrath. Fortunately, a certain man with the stage name j-hope was ready to help you.
“It’s gonna be easy. I mean, how scary can bosses be.” He dismissed your worries with a wave of his hand.
“Very scary, I warn you.”
Contrary to his belief, after the phone call with your boss ended, Hoseok was scarred for life. Bosses were indeed scary, especially your boss.
With wide eyes, he whispered, “Never ask me to call your boss again. He’s literally a devil in disguise.”
“But did I get permission to take a leave?”
“Oh, shit! I forgot about that.”
“Hoseok!”
When he had a class to teach, you tried to fill the void by texting your older friends. But as expected, they instead made you even worse.
One said, "Hope you get well soon. We'll come back once we're not too busy."
What about the two others? Well, they only read and liked your messages.
That was alright, right? They all had their own lives and were probably busy. It wasn’t like your injury was a big deal anyways… right? There was no need for them to be worried about you or shower you with attention or visit you. Yeah, that was absolutely normal… not.
There was no need for moping around, though. The next day, your old friends and your knight in hypebeast clothes came over. Yes, said knight was Hoseok. Yes, they came at the same time. It was okay to have a handsome man and your way-past-hormonal-stage friends to be in the same place at the same time. Or at least that was what you initially thought.
"Y/n," one of your friends said with a frown on her face. "What happened? We were so worried."
You almost wanted to roll your eyes. They didn't seem that worried when you texted them yesterday.
“And who’s this?” another friend asked while staring at Hoseok. And it wasn’t a nice stare either, more like a judging stare.
You scowled, but still tried to keep some decency. “This is my friend slash dance teacher, Hoseok. Hoseok, these are my friends that I told you about.”
The last one of your friends was the first to shake his hand. “Wow. Is that so? I hope you only hear nice things.”
At that, both you and Hoseok faked a laugh. Your friends didn’t seem to realize though.
“Yeah, nice things indeed,” you commented once your laugh died down.
You were in the middle of talking and catching up with your friends while Hoseok interjected here and there when you needed to go to the restroom. Both to relieve yourself and to hide from the awkwardness for a while. It always felt weird to merge two friend groups.
“Guys, Imma go pee for a bit, okay?”
Hoseok instinctively stood up to help you, but you gestured to him to sit back down. “I got this, don’t worry.” You gave him a small smile and went to the bathroom.
Sure it did take longer for you to just pee compared to when you weren’t injured, but it still didn’t take too long in your opinion. The cast made everything more complicated, but not particularly harder. However, when you were flushing down the toilet, you heard some talking noises, way louder than usual. It sounded more like angry yellings. And as you were washing your hands, you heard a slam of a door. What was happening?
Couldn’t stand to not know what just happened any longer, you quickly finished your business and went out, only to find your once full-of-guests living room now bare with just Hoseok in it. All the while, Hoseok was cleaning up the coffee table while humming a tune.
“Where-?"
You didn’t even get to finish your question when he answered, “Your friends left.“
“So soon?”
He shrugged as he tossed away the cloth he used to clean. “They probably have things to do.”
“And they didn’t even say goodbye to me.” You sighed and plopped yourself on the couch. “I only heard loud noises and a door closing. They didn’t say anything to you?”
“Nope. But, I told them to get their life together before criticising people.”
Your eyes widened in surprise. Never in your friendship with your friends had you ever told them off like that. Sure they weren’t that nice, but you didn’t feel it was right to do that. Yeah, you were pretty much a coward. You scared your friends would leave you.
But to have Hoseok said that? Sure it was nice for your friends to know they were jerks, but you were surely going to lose your friends now.
You huffed and your shoulders sagged.
“What did they even do?” you asked as you watched him taking a seat beside you.
“You’ll find out. It’s better if you know it first from them.”
His answer only made you more curious and mull over what could have happened. What did they do that made a nice person like Hoseok say such a thing? Why did they leave abruptly? Would they end your friendship because of that? Would they ever explain to you what happened? So many questions were running through your head, but you couldn’t even guess the answer for any of them.
Hoseok knew how much you were distraught by what happened, so he, being the sunshine that he was, took you to watch him teaching dance to little kids.
“I’d be the oldest student there,” you whined.
“You come not as a student.” He laughed. “You come as my friend.”
“They’d be embarrassed if I watch along.”
“No way. They’re cool with it.” Then he added, “And cute.”
He wasn’t one to lie. The kids were indeed adorable. And their parents were also nice. While you were talking to the parents, the kids occasionally went to you to show you or ask you something. Mostly to ask you what happened to your foot. But one asked you a question that made your cheek heat up for the rest of the class.
“Are you Uncle Hobi’s girlfriend?”
“Oh- Umm…” you stuttered. “I-”
The parent quickly cut it before you could answer. “Don’t ask a question like that!”
“But I’m curious since he said he likes someone.”
You wondered who he liked, but you knew better than to gossip about romance with a kid. So in the end, you refrained yourself from asking.
Once the class finished, Hoseok came up to you with a proud grin and a sweaty body.
“How was it?”
“You were right. They were cute. But one little birdie told me something.” You smirk.
“Oh, no. I don’t want to see that face.”
“C’mon. Just answer me. Who are you crushing on, Hobi?”
He groaned. “You knew about my crush and the nickname. I shouldn’t have brought you here. This was a bad idea.”
“I think it’s fun,” you teased. “Now, entertain me.”
He sighed. “It’s a girl I know from one of my classes.”
“Not the nurse, huh?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Never the nurse. Did that answer your question?”
“Not really. But I’ll take it for now since you’re stinky. Go take a shower!”
“Yes, ma’am.” He laughed.
His Friday schedule, that used to be filled with a class with you, was now empty. He was a high-demand teacher, his empty classes were almost instantly filled, but no one really wanted to have a class on a Friday evening. That was reserved for laying in bed and nothing else.
So, instead of letting you mope around during the time which you should have been having a class, Hoseok took you to his secret space on the other side of the dance studio. Secret space because no one in the world knew what was inside aside from him and one curious student that accidentally found it.
Hope World was the name. Such a fitting name for a place with a warm atmosphere, two huge speakers, several smaller speakers, and two giant monitors. There were also a lot of hypebeast plushies and decorations. On the couch, on the table, even on the floor, covering most of the surface in the room.
You took a seat on the couch while feeling its soft surface beneath your hand. “What is this place?”
“This is where I make music. I’m a dance teacher by day and a music producer by night.” He grinned.
“Why did you decide to show me this? This seems… personal.”
“Because I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with doing the things you like.” He turned on the computer and played a song.
“The song is called Blue Side. For a long time, I have had problems finishing this song. But then I found the final piece.”
“What was it?”
“I needed to let go of my past happiness for a greater happiness,” he answered without hesitation, as if he already rehearsed that. “That’s kinda the gist of the song, too. And I think you need that advice right now.”
He was right. Sacrificing your past happiness that was your old friends would probably change your life drastically. You needn't seek their validation in anything you do. Only you mattered because you were the one living your life. Question was, were you ready to let them go?
You looked at him in his eyes. A small smile played on your lips. “Thank you.”
He smiled back before going back to his computer to change the song.
“Okay enough of depressing shit. Let’s dance!” He carefully took your hands in his and pulled you up on your feet.
“I can’t dance,” you whined. “With or without the cast.”
“We’re not doing that kind of dance, you doofus. We’re just swaying along to the song.” He wrapped an arm around your waist so you could follow his sways easier. On instinct, you wrapped your arms around his neck.
He swayed ever so slightly, following along the rhythm of the song. The melody filled around the room, into your ears, and out of it again. Hoseok’s strong hands held you, making sure you were steady and wouldn’t topple over. The smell of the room that was so Hoseok, you were pretty sure he used his own perfume to freshen his room. Yet, among all of these foreign things, you felt just right. You felt home.
Once you got the hang of it, you laughed. “This is the easiest dance move you’ve ever taught me.”
“Glad you think this is the easiest because I don’t know any other easier moves.”
“Well, I’m sorry for being unathletic,” you defended yourself. “I didn’t ask to be born like this.”
“What? Born naturally gorgeous?” Soon after those words left his mouth, he looked anywhere else but you, totally pretending like nothing happened.
With cheeks burning, you complained, “You can’t say that and pretend nothing happened.”
He looked back at you and laughed. “Why? Are you shy?”
You punched his chest in a joking manner.
It was when the song stopped when you realized how close you were to Hoseok. You could even smell his cologne, see his tiny freckles scattered on his face, and feel his breath that smelled like mint, a sure sign he ate too many mints. If he was handsome from a distance, he was mesmerizing up close.
Your eyes found his and you saw how captivating his eyes were. Pools of warm brown eyes, deep enough to drown and hypnotize you. And when he smiled, they turned into crescents with wrinkles at the side. Simply put, he had the most beautiful eyes you had ever seen.
Your mind snapped back into reality and you immediately let go of him in a panic. Just as you let him go, he also let you go on instinct, making you unable to keep your balance and struggle to find your footing.
“Oh, shit!” He steadied you again with his hands on your waist. “Are you alright?”
Your eyes widened at the event that just unfolded. “Yeah. Thanks for saving my life again.”
“Just so you know, I don’t mind saving you repeatedly if that’s what I need to do to keep you alright.”
It was safe to say that his words echoed in your mind for the rest of the day.
The next day, your questions from the previous days were answered.
“We’re very sorry about what we did,” one of your friends said as soon as they entered your apartment.
“Is this about when you guys left a few days ago?”
“Yes. But we have a reason for that,” another friend answered.
“And the reason being?” You raised an eyebrow, anticipating what was coming next.
You were no longer sure if you wanted to hear it.
“We-”
“We talked shit about you to Hoseok,” the last one interjected. Always to the point, that one.
“We’re very sorry. I know it was wrong and stupid of us to do that. We get it if you don’t want to befriend us anymore,” the first one spoke up again.
Sure you felt sad, but a part of you knew that this had been happening long before. It was more like you waited for them to finally come clean and confess to them, so you weren’t surprised at all. And with them coming clean, you were relieved. You could finally let them go in peace. Just like what Hoseok had said.
You nodded your head slowly. You didn’t have the strength to even look at them in their eyes. “Thanks for being honest with me and for being my best friends all this time. But everything has an end and I think this is ours.”
“I assume they have apologized?” Hoseok asked after looking at your bright smile. The smile of a person who could finally let go of their burdens.
It was Sunday, the day after your friends confessed, and you were stuck in the library with him. While you wanted to listen more to his songs, he wanted to take you to the library. It took a bit of bickering, but he won in the end since you both had never been to a library together before.
“Yes. Thanks for defending me. You didn’t need to do that.” You reached for a book that was too high.
Hoseok came behind you and grabbed the book before handing it to you. “Hadn’t I done that, they’d still walk all over you.”
Oh how true his words were, but you weren’t going to admit that.
“Whatever. I’m still grateful, though.”
“You’re very welcome.”
You sat at a corner and he followed suit, sitting right beside you.
“And what did you say to them?” he asked.
You shrugged. “I don’t remember, but what’s important is that I cut ties with them. I did exactly what you had taught me.”
“I know you’re a good student. Always diligent and curious. And a fast learner, too.”
“Aren’t you proud of me?” You grinned at him.
“I’m always proud of you, ever since the first day you joined my class.”
Sure, there were days in which you wished you were more athletic, but if it weren’t for your lack of athleticism, you wouldn’t have been this close with Hoseok. Or ending your toxic friendship. So you gotta give the credits where it was due.
“Last lesson, enjoy the things you love to do unapologetically.”
“One question, what was your past happiness?”
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