#not quite entirely haply w this one but here

[companionwolf]

pride month drabble challenge fill #2

prompts: 10. Asexual + 16. Now + 14. "Do you think there's something wrong with me?"

fandom: xcom 2 (gen verse)

TWs/CWs: none

It is June 6th, 2035, and the Commander's heart hurts.

Some of the crew have brought back the tradition of Pride Month, have made flags and hung them around the Avenger, Central helping remind them of what order and what colors go on each.

They're missing...

They're missing some flags, the Commander has noticed, and they want to bring it up, because the absence aches, but it feels...

Their chest tightens.

The Commander takes a long breath, reorient the themselves to where they sit at the bar, staring into a drink.

Other crew members, mostly soldiers, hang out around them-- Kelly is flirting with Outrider, which seems to be going well as far as they can see.

The Commander moves to twist a black ring they no longer have, swallows hard.

"Hey," says a voice across the bar. They look toward it. Central is leaning on the salvaged bar, eyeing their drink. "You gonna finish that?"

The Commander frowns at him. "It's mostly diluted with water," they say. "You wouldn't want it, the way that it is."

You wouldn't want me either, the way that I am, they think bitterly. The way I'll always be.

It's Central's turn to shrug. He pulls a bottle from somewhere behind him and doesn't even mess with a glass, just drinks from the source. The Commander frowns again, but stays quiet.

"You seem pretty somber tonight," says Central, leaning over toward them again. "What's up?"

The Commander hesitates.

"I think it'd be easier to show you," they say to him finally as they get up and head toward the door. Central follows.

They take him to the armory, where a lot of the pride flags are hung amongst the shelves. There's a rainbow flag, a lesbian one, a bi flag (Central sew that one himself), a transgender flag...

"We're missing some," the Commander says, almost so quiet they think he won't hear, that they don't want him to.

Central studies the flags.

"Uhh, a nonbinary one is missing, yeah," he agrees. "And genderqueer. And pan."

The Commander tries to steel themselves. What are they afraid of? That he'll say they're not part of the community?

"Ace," they say. It's a whisper.

Central blinks, confused.

"Asexual?" the Commander offers. "Meaning no sexual attraction." They go to twist the ring that isn't there again, feel their face crumple up, try to hide it. "It's--- I'm ace. I noticed my flag wasn't there."

Central looks slightly more like he understands but only just.

"And you felt left out," he says. They nod miserably.

Silence stretches between them. Then, the Commander manages: "Do you think there's something wrong with me?"

Their XO shakes his head. "If there is," he says, "then there's something wrong with me too."

"You're ace?" And there it is, they're crying now. "Really?"

"I mean that'd explain a lot for me," Central says. "But I, uh, you know, so maybe not..."

They shake their head at him through their tears. "It just means no attraction, not that we can't have sex," they say. "A lot of us are repulsed, or indifferent, but you can do whatever and be ace too."

"Then that makes a lot of my life make way more sense," Central says. "C'mon then, let's go get stuff to make a flag-- I'll teach you how to sew so you can help me work on it."

The Commander nods, wiping their wet eyes on the back of their wrists. They're smiling so hard it hurts. "You're really like me?" It's less a question asked, more of a exhale of joy, of relief. "You're really like me."

Central gives them a smile.

"Yeah," he says, "I'm like you."

And the Commander's heart sings.