#not pictured: the plastic bag and shovel he’s about to use to kill people <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[catgrub]

he’s having a good day :)

[fbis-most-unwanted]

Things that have happened at the grocery store where I work

a man who would pick up a loaf of bread, inspect it, then throw it onto the ground, adding to the pile of bread on the floor

a man who comes in every Sunday dressed like a pirate

it was warm on Christmas eve, so I wasn’t wearing a jacket. A woman came up to me and said, “merry Christmas, put a coat on!”

a car I see in the parking lot all the time with a bumper sticker that says, “music too loud? 1-800-eat shit” and right below that one, “Ron Paul 2012”

a go cart designed to look like a casket

a cashier went over the intercom and, to the whole store, said, “frito lay-o-lay-o-lay”

at about 7:30 one morning, a manager walked by and said, “it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to” and then walked away. I didn’t see him again for the rest of my shift

also really early, a cashier was talking to me and a couple other people, the phone at his station rang, he dramatically screeched and sprinted across the store to answer it

the same guy later explained in dissertation-level detail why crystal Pepsi is a good business decision

a woman so high she went up to my coworker, pushing her cart with her items, and said, “excuse me, where are my groceries?”

a man in the parking lot who brought his own gardening shovel and would scoop dirt out from near the trees and throw it in the trash can

a teenager wearing a shirt patterned with stripes made of machine guns

a man wearing a shirt with guns on the sleeves and in cheerful rainbow font read “this is my killing shirt”

several people with guns casually tucked into the waistband of their jeans

a pair of used underwear in a shopping cart left in the darkest part of the parking lot

two shopping carts that have made their way into our collection that are not from our store

an old man buying about six birthday cards who said, “excuse me, I need to put these in the file cabinet” then unbuttoned his shirt, put the cards in, buttoned it back up and said, “okay, I’ll see you in a few minutes” and walked back into the store. I did not see him again

I was outside taking in shopping carts at about 7:30 at night. This guy walks out of the store (he has bought nothing) carrying a basketball and a small tree branch. He says, “do you want to see something cool?” I said sure, and he put the branch in his mouth, started spinning the basketball on his finger then put it on top of the branch and walked away. Almost exactly 2 hours later, I saw him walk out of the store again, minus the branch and still having purchased nothing

This was the Saturday before the election. A man came through my line wearing a make america great again hat and a shirt with the presidential seal with Trump’s face photoshopped over it. I asked him what kind of bags he wanted. He said nothing. I assumed he didn’t hear me, so I asked again. He would not speak to me, but firmly pointed at the plastic bags. He needed help outside, so I said, “I’ll follow you to your car.” He made me walk in front of him so I had no idea where I was going. We got outside, and he spoke his first words to me: “Can you run inside and get me two plastic bags?” I did. When I got back to his car, a woman, seeing the bat signal of two Trump bumper stickers, had struck up a conversation. She asked me, “Are you 21?” I told her I wasn’t, and she said, “Oh, I guess you won’t be able to vote then.” She then went on to tell me, “I told my kids that I’m not going to feed them if they don’t vote for Trump.”

A woman was paying for her stuff with 3 gift cards that were so old the computer couldn’t read them. A manager had to come fix it. The woman said, “This happened last time too. I bought these out of a van.”

The store started playing Christmas music the Sunday before Thanksgiving and did not stop until January. I think I heard two versions of every Christmas song created by human beings, including one version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer that, instead of “you’ll go down in history,” said, “play your saxophone for me”.

Right after we got software to read chip credit cards, a cashier was explaining this to a customer by saying, “This way is slower. I don’t know why we switched over. They’ve already hacked it, and pretty soon all our jobs are going to be done by robots anyway. Then the only jobs will be for people to program the robots and it won’t matter because we won’t have jobs and won’t be able to consume, so there won’t be a reason for any of us to be alive anymore.”

a strange man in a suspiciously stained apron pacing around in the back of the parking lot at 10p.m.

There are people who sit in their parked cars staring out of open windows in the parking lot at night for absolutely no reason

a man who said, “do they think this music makes people buy things? Because it doesn’t and it seriously needs to stop.” when asked how he was doing

late one night this guy came through my lane and said, “did you guys see the van?” “what van?” “the van. in the Sprint” when I got off I saw that someone had, indeed, driven a van through the front of the Sprint store at the other side of the parking lot.

at 9:45 one Friday these two girls came in and pointed at a picture in the ad of a bottle of chocolate milk and said, “they’re just like this but 32 ounces and I need 6 of them. They’re on sale for a dollar apiece. I know because my mom was here earlier and bought 10 of them.” That’s 320 ounces of chocolate milk sitting at home and she wants 192 more ounces. I go check, and as I predicted, we don’t even sell them

This old woman was talking to me and said, “I know a Kayla (my name)...She’s a little older than you. She’s with the spiders at the zoo now.”

a woman buying a metric fuckton of gingerbread and pine tree air fresheners on October 26

a man buying tortillas, shredded cheese, and 25 cans of whipped cream

the day I found out the hard way that when lettuce goes bad it turns to liquid

these teenagers who were high out of their minds and walking in slow motion

an old, old man who came in at about 7:30 one morning. the cashier was trying to make conversation and asked him how he was doing. he was not having a 5-star experience and thus began, “I hate shopping this early. I don’t know why I came here, etc. Then when I was leaving my wife asked me to pick up a birthday card. I don’t even know who this card is for, but you know how it is, we can’t say no.” He then turned to me (a female) and the female cashier and says, out loud, “You women are such shrews.”

the enigma that is Serial Killer Jeff

he was a cashier for a few months

he was really tall, had deep-set eyes and bags under them no matter what time of day it was, walked with his head hunched over, had a very quiet monotone voice, always walked with his hands behind his back as if he was at all times ready to be handcuffed, like he knew someone was coming for him

was going to school to be a truck driver

claimed to have once spent 36 hours in the same bar and that he smokes pot with his mom

one time was holding one of those of those grocery dividers and said, “boy, it would hurt to get cracked with one of these.”

we lock one set of doors at 9 (there is a giant sign that says this too). this couple comes in at about 10 to use the machine that counts change and asked, “I know those doors are locked, but can we still get to the change machine?” We said no, but they still went over and tried to open the doors. Jeff leans over and says, cryptically, “You know, this is just like the sign that says ‘Don’t feed the bears’ we all know not to feed the bears, but we have the sign for those high functioning idiots who do it anyway.”

on the 4th of July the pharmacy closed early. when this guy realized it, he yelled “FUCK” at the top of his lungs and then went down the list of every other curse word he knew while running out of the store and throwing open the automatic doors because they were not fast enough for him

I got called down to the customer service counter and the manager handed me a container of mac ‘n cheese and asked me to check the price because there was a man who thought they were on sale for 2/$5 but it rings up as 2/$7. She said, “He’s over there now. You can’t miss him, he’s very tall.” I go back there and discover two things: 1.there is no tall man in sight. 2. the mac ‘n cheese in question is clearly marked as 2/$7. I go back to tell the manager and lo and behold this giant is looming over the counter. I told him the price, and he insisted I was wrong, saying “Just show me the ones that are 2 for $5″ while walking backward away from the counter

we have different bags depending on the time of year. For Halloween, they are orange and say “happy Halloween”. I was told the story of the guy that apparently refuses to have the bags because he thinks Halloween is satanic and doesn’t believe in dressing up in costumes

there is a woman who always insists on bagging her own groceries so she can put one item in each bag and then double or triple bag it. She and her friend come in to the store to walk laps sometimes

on my first day I was getting a tour of the store and we were in the back where one of the maintenance guys said, “Are you new?” I said yes and he looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Run.” I should have listened

on Christmas Eve the manager made me stand outside and tell people we were closed. he then locked the doors, with me still outside

one of the training videos was literally just an infomercial for a boxcutter

It was about to storm one night and I had to go outside to bring carts in. a manager came up to me and said, “If you see lightning, come inside. No one can get hurt if I’m still on the clock.”

one cashier whose personal manga ended up in the backstock cart

this old lady was arguing about the price of a soda and her maybe 8 year old grandson interrupted, “grandma, do you know how long we’ve been here? two hours!” he was right

an old man who approached me 45 minutes into my 8 and a half hour shift and said, “here, for your hard work” and handed me a bag of peanuts

I was outside taking in carts with one of the other baggers. I was going to grab one of the smaller carts that was at the end of the cart corral surrounded by bigger carts. He said, “do you want that one?” I said yeah, and he just picked it up, lifted it over the cart corral, and handed it to me.

one time I was outside getting carts. It smelled like fire, but I couldn’t see smoke anywhere. Periodically, thick black ashes rained down from the sky like some lovecraftian nightmare.

Whenever this one bagger wants the store to get new florescent vests we have to wear when we’re outside, he cuts the straps off of all the ones we have

one bagger (who once made me sort every paper bag in the store to make sure the Christmas ones were on top) stepped away from his register in the middle of a rush to announce to the other baggers, “I just wanted to let you guys know we can wear shorts now. I know they don’t tell anyone, but it’s April 15th, we’re allowed to wear shorts.”

a middle-aged woman who said to the man in front of her in line , “It’s so nice to see a man using the big boy carts!” (as opposed to the smaller carts that are made for when you’re only buying a few things)

a woman who called me over from across the parking lot to hand her a cart that was two feet away from her

[hopeforpeoplefodivha]

Saturday, March 4th, 2017

A Normal Day in Haiti...Requesting a Healing... 7:02am Waiting for pastor to pick us up. We are taking Dieusilhomme to an excellent hospital. 7:46am The tap-tap blew a motor. She's done. Waiting for another vehicle by the side of the road. This experience is getting "old"...we've had vehicle troubles every day...this is Haiti. 9:49am We left the villa at 7am, fought through traffic to arrive at the hospital Bertrand Mevs downtown Port au Prince, by 8:45. Bertony and I have met with a triage doc named Depak, who is down for a one week volunteer stint from North Carolina. Oh how good it was to speak in English! We have paid the admin fee (more standing in line) so that Dieusilhomme can be seen. You actually drive your vehicle right into triage. One doesn't leave their vehicle on the street in this area of Port au Prince. It would be stripped clean. Dieusilhome has been rapidly losing weight over the past 3 months. Several of the children, including D, were ill with fever and gastrointestinal symptoms in January following the hurricane. It seems he has never recovered. However I'm not convinced these are totally related to the symptoms we are seeing now. Everything in this country is always diagnosed and treated first as malaria. Then when they don't recover, you start looking at other things. I've have many close friends who are docs...I am a speech path with another graduate degree in neurology. My friends say, "I have enough med knowledge to be dangerous!"....or at least to be able to advocate and ask the right questions. I hope I can help him today. 10:21am.. We have stood in line yet again to pay for the tests now ordered...blood work, stool, urinalysis, malaria, HIV and a CT scan of brain ($322.00...where does the $22 come from?). You see, I have noticed quite severe ataxia when D tries to walk (in lay man's terms..."he walks like a drunk") and has difficulties planning /controlling motor movements. His left foot is dropping slightly. It is reported that his stools are black..therefore, blood loss from G.I. He has a slight cough (doesn't everyone here with the dust and diesel?). And so, we wait some more, outside in triage in the hot sun. D clutches a small bag of clothes and a water bottle in case he needs to stay the night. While Bertony and I are here, the rest of the team is buying 2 sinks for the bathrooms, 2 drills required for attaching the tin roofing and 2 shovels at the hardware store. Work will be delayed and/or postponed today. It's a 90 min ride to the orphanage in the hills from here. With the daily truck breakdowns we have endured and today's potential loss of work, we are 3 days behind where we need to be. Another problem to solve. However a sick child trumps everything. Our team is learning patience. They are experiencing first hand how difficult life is here and how much time it takes to get anything done. No matter how organized we are before they get here, I have learned on these trips, that you can count on nothing. We try to prioritize and fix one problem at a time. "Fall down seven times, stand up eight!". My mom drilled that into me. 11:12am We are holding up a wall outside one of the multiple buildings in triage. The sun has moved around the building and there is shade. We wait and we wait. Bertony and I are having philosophical conversations about the difficulties that life offers (way too much in this country, for these people to endure each day, in my opinion)..."The Life, is the teacher", says Bertony wisely. We end sharing silence, still holding up the wall. 12:46pm We are back holding up the wall, chasing the shade. I'm losing the game. We are becoming expert "waiters". But at least some good news....no tumour! We had a CT of his head. Medishare donated a portable CT scanner. It lives in an air-conditioned metal transport container. I was allowed to view the results as the pictures were taken. From my "enough medical knowledge to be dangerous", it looked very clear to me. Almost beautiful! We wait for the neurologist...holding up the wall. 1:10pm The team have finished their shopping experience and has decided to make the drive to Thomasseau to unload the vehicle and get a few hours of work in. Traffic in the city is a nightmare. We decided as a team that it is best if I stay here with Bertony at the hospital. We rarely, if ever, split up as a team...like Navy Seals, "no one left behind". Today is an exception to the rule. One of the administrators told me that we're waiting to see neurology doc. So Dieusilhomme and I share trail mix. Bertony has gone "walk about" beyond the "forbidden metal gates" of the hospital compound, seeing if he can source out hearing aid batteries for Dieusilhome. We wait, holding up the wall, chasing the shade. I have one water bottle left. 1:27 Should have brought cards...and toilet paper! 2:28pm Doc Depak and Doc Raj have confirmed that the CT was normal. He also said blood work is normal too...this is becoming a greater mystery. That only leaves stool sample and urinalysis. He is most concerned with the weight loss and the neurological symptoms, at this point, are secondary. He is calling a Haitian doc to come talk with us who is the expert in internal medicine at this hospital. Perhaps he will have ideas of further exploration, I'm concerned that we won't be any closer to getting any answers today. We have to wait for 30 min or so"...which in Haitian time, could mean 2 hours. The water is gone. I found a bathroom. Bertony is now sitting against the wall. 3:31pm So, they found a parasite in the stool sample! Hallelujah! And, he's mildly anemic and a bit dehydrated (isn't everyone in this country?). The end diagnosis was probably a perfect storm: 1. First he had a bad influenza in January which left him immunocompromized. 2. He acquired Guillain-Barre syndrome (a rapid onset muscle weakness beginning in the feet and hands caused by the immune system damaging peripheral nervous system) which started the neuro symptoms. 3. He was given a strong antibiotic which wiped out the flora in his gut, which left him susceptible to other things. The parasite found is not normally hugely pathogenic, except in immuno-supressed patients. They also suspect a salmonella. In lay man's terms...the perfect storm or house of cards. Anyway, Doc Raj kindly called UCLA prof in the USA while we were waiting, to get even another opinion and we are now waiting in front of pharmacy to pay for a cocktail of anti parasitics and antibiotics to kill just about everything...(except roosters!) We will get him on these meds and see how he does in 3 weeks. He has a follow up visit with neuro. It's time to go home. Except...the girl working the cash is "on break"...so there is more waiting. We are told it could be an hour. Welcome To Haiti. These are our days. 4:12pm Gosh I'd love a large Greek salad! I could eat it while I wait! 4:42 The cash lady has come back...we have paid for the stock of meds ($6 in total cost!?!?) that have been put into a small plastic bag and received a "stamp" which will allow us to leave the hospital. Apparently the police have closed the place down for a period of time, because a family has "stolen" the body of someone who has died earlier and they have "questions" of all the staff involved...they suspect foul play from someone in the family...not a dull moment here. This is Haiti and these are our days. We are so thankful to all the docs and nurses at Bernard Mevs Hospital. May they continue their great work. What a blessing. Time to take 3 tap-taps home to the villa. I'll meet up with the team when they arrive home. We shall share stories and play cards this evening. Tomorrow is a day off from work. Their bodies are tired. They have been working so hard. Blessings, Deb P.S. Hi Mom xxx