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jenniferladybug · 5 years ago

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Essay Wars - it’s a doozy

Last night my friend got in a texting debate about the story structure and character developments of Star Wars (a majority of it Kylo Ren). Well, what started off as my vigorous texting writing turned into full-blown essay responses.

Alright, let’s get into how this actually happened.

First, I was so excited about The Rise of Skywalker Final Trailer and I began to sing praises for Kylo Ren/Bendemption. My friend did not like that...so I whipped out the big guns.

I began to send scattered texts about certain things, mostly pertaining to:

Kylo Ren was turned to the dark side before he was even born via Bloodline, where Leia describes a dark presence over her womb.

Someone must be impersonating Darth Vader when Kylo goes to the Vader mask for advice.

Leia and Han were emotionally neglectful/did not know how to raise their son in the right way, mixed with brainwashing lead to Kylo Ren.

The Jedi are not good for the galaxy (yes, yes I know, but see my explanation down below...if you last that long)

Kylo wants to let the past die and start fresh with a new ‘order’, leave behind the Sith, Jedi, First order etc.

I also rambled on about a few other things in separate texts, but that is the gist of it.

So, in response to my scattered texts I received this from my friend Sammy, and oh boy was I ready:

So, let’s start with the story of Ben. The dark side since before he was even born thing is interesting and the fact that he’s been influenced his entire life by it is something they should have made much more clear in the films. That’s actually one of the problems I have with this new expanded universe- it just seems like damage control for the movies. The Previous EU EXPANDED everything, giving backstory to the characters we know and understand, in addition to secondary characters. Hell, they even gave us new characters as well but they never negated or changed the meaning of the films which is the bread and butter of the franchise, so if this super important info is coming from the book I think that’s just silly. You really shouldn’t have to read the novel iteration to understand what the movie did a bad job of interpreting. But I digress, that is some crucial info…

The Vader mask scene and the theory that it’s someone else like Snoke who has been pretending to be Vader is interesting, and I buy that, but like…Kylo didn’t know Vader was redeemed? Did Luke, Leia, Han, Chewy, Lando, Akbar, Wedge, or like literally anybody else form the Rebellion forget to tell him that? Big yikes.

IMO, feeling “misunderstood and neglected by his parents” isn’t a valid excuse for him to kill his own dad and being ok with his mom getting bombed to hell. Idk, you can ask why it’s ok for us to forgive Vader through his redemption arc but I think comparing his experiences to Kylo’s is like comparing apples to oranges. Vader was a BAD guy, but he ended up doing the ultimate GOOD thing in the end, and then the prequels fleshed out how he became bad intangible way, which to be fair, Kylo doesn’t have. But still, this is why most fans don’t take him seriously.

About the Jedi not being good- I challenge your credentials. “For a thousand generations the Jedi knights have been the guardians of peace and justice for the Old Republic”, then they were hunted down and everything turned to shit. And both in this canon and the previous one, it’s wildly considered that the few thousand years preceded the events of the movies things were super peaceful all things considered when the Jedi were in charge…and the Sith traditionally only operates in agents of 2. So how come everything was so peaceful for a thousand generations when there were a million Jedi and 2 Sith…ying yang in this case is bollocks.

And if Kylo really wants to “Start fresh”, why’d he start by becoming Supreme Leader of like the Star Wars version of ISIS? This is something we’ll need to find out in this next movie. I agree, his motive is to dismantle the Jedi and Sith way and create something else entirely, but the second Rey says “nah” he goes back to how he was. It’s not looking good.

The George Lucas rhyme thing lets not forget he’s talking about Episode 1 which was arguably one of the worst Star Wars movies made and he ended it with “hopefully it’ll work” and then grimaces…IDK bud lmao. And I doubt back in 1977 he knew there was going to be an episode 9 because he didn’t even know what he just made was Episode 4! It definitely was never a 9 episode arc from the get-go. Now, I know for certain after the prequels he had another trilogy in mind, and when he sold the rights to Disney he did hand them his drafts and notes, but even Bob Iger, CEO of Disney, admitted in his new book, they didn’t follow those drafts AT ALL. LIKE NOTHING. And he said that George felt betrayed. This idea of a new trilogy is something that was created in 2012, but I suspect they have been making this up as they went. After this last movie, Disney scrambled to get JJ Abrams back and figure out how they were going to get everything back on track. Daisy Ridley herself said JJ wrote a story for each of the 3 new movies, but Rian ended up created his own completely. I think that alone shows that production for these movies has been inconsistent, I don’t buy this was all part of some 9 series plan with a definitive beginning, middle, and end from the get-go.

Not sure what Rey’s lineage is, we’ll find out for sure in this next movie. I read one theory that Palpatine created her sorta through the force like many people think he did with Anakin.

So that was what I was up against.

Let’s take a brief moment to appreciate this:

Okay now that that is done...great.

My turn!

Now, I wrote my response (copied below) at top speed in about an hour, so maybe some of the things I say start sounding rushed or not as fleshed out as they should be. But I cracked my knuckles and gave it a go:

I am the first one to advocate for a film to have the ability to ‘stand-alone’ in any particular universe, whether it be Marvel, DC, Hunger Games, and Star Wars. By introducing a backstory for Leia’s pregnancy and hers and Han’s marriage in ‘Bloodline’, LucasFilm is doing just that: giving a backstory. In both The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, there is proof that Snoke is the one pulling the strings when it comes to young solo. In the first film, Leia is quoted saying to Han, “There’s still light in him I know it! No. It was Snoke. He seduced our son to the dark side”, and in the second film Luke is quoted as saying, “Snoke had already turned his heart”. It is made apparent that ‘Kylo Ren’ is the production of Snoke, and Ren suffers abuse both mental and physical from his master. Though this changes when Kylo finally becomes free of the shackles Snoke once had on him when Ren slices him in half. The look of shock and release on Ren’s face when he realizes what he’s done says it all. Who are we to judge someone who is freshly out of the control of their captor? By just watching the films it is clear that Kylo Ren is not fully in control of his actions and he is being manipulated consistently as shown by the quotes above. When having that manipulation in conjunction with the neglect of a parental figure, then you get the full-blown reality that is Kylo Ren.

Feeling “misunderstood and neglected by his parents” is a valid excuse for turning to the Darkside in the world of a fictional fairy tale. Keep in mind we are not in a reality where this is okay, yet the world in which Star Wars exists allows such things to be redeemable and explainable. Take for example when Padme knew about Anakin killing younglings; she wanted him to still come home because she ‘loved’ him. If he had turned back to the light at that moment she would have most likely accepted him back. It is a danger of the force. They are not dealing with everyday normal emotions; the force, as well as the genre of the franchise, creates a heightened sense of urgency which is apparent throughout the forty-plus years Star Wars has been around (hell, as long as any fairy tale has been around). When you point out that Vader did the ultimate good thing in the end, do you mean to save his son and push Palpatine down a duct? If so, then this would be his redemption which occurred in the last of the original trilogies. If you are to treat Kylo with the same rules as Vader, then we must give him a chance to ‘do the right thing’, something which the filmmakers have been steadily building his character-arc for. Vader did numbers ‘wrong’ things, some of them much worse than Kylo has done. But yet the audience still chose to respect him, even before the prequels which fleshed out the story of Anakin Skywalker.

Now, you may be correct in that Ben Solo knew of Vader’s redemption, and I misspoke, to which I am sorry. He, in fact, learned of his heritage when he was training with Luke at his academy when he received a letter from his mother. The contents of the letter are unknown, though it is assumed she told him of his heritage when he was in his late teens. This was only because one of her rivals she was campaigning against in the senate threatened to leak the knowledge to the public that Leia was the daughter of the infamous Darth Vader. Ben had no idea before-hand though, so once again we assume that this had some type of impact. Imagine finding out your grandfather was Hitler. Would that be fun? But, since we addressed the fact that external material should not need to be consumed in order for a film to make sense, then we should disregard any idea as to how Ben Solo came to learn of his heritage. It is not mentioned in the films, but it is a widely held belief by many in the fandom that if Kylo Ren knew of his grandfathers’ redemption then he merely took this as a lapse in judgment in his late years (especially since it is hinted to in the films that Ren is speaking to someone via the Vader mask). Perhaps said mask has been telling Ren lies in lieu of the true story of the redemption. But that is speculation. What is not speculation is the line Ren utters in The Force Awakens, “Forgive me. I feel it again... The pull to the light... Supreme Leader senses it. Show me again... The power of the darkness... And I'll let nothing stand in our way... Show me... Grandfather... and I will finish... what you started.” What we can tell from the film is that Ren is in a constant struggle to stay within the dark, and through his words, it is expressed how this warrants forgiveness. The second half of the statement is even more worrying in the fact that Ren says ‘show me again’, referencing a previous time this ‘Vader’ has shown him what the darkness entails. Will we find out in episode nine if there was an imposter (Palpatine?) feeding more lies and brainwashing to Kylo Ren? That means not only was he getting terrible treatment from Snoke, but from his ‘grandfather’ as well. Perhaps this is why in the final trailer for episode nine we see Rey and Ren destroying said helmet. Until the film comes out, this will still be a mystery.

In coming to why I believe the Jedi are bad, I side with Luke Skywalker on this one. As he says in The Last Jedi, “ At the height of their powers, they allowed Darth Sidious to rise, create the Empire, and wipe them out. It was a Jedi Master who was responsible for the training and creation of Darth Vader.” To that, Rey points out that it was also a Jedi who saved him. Which is true! Yet, the rules surrounding the Jedi order are such that allowed for Anakin to search elsewhere for support. True, he was very conflicted, but the Jedi are so extreme that they do not welcome outside opinions or thinking. You are either all light or you’re bad. There is no intermediary. That is why the answer is grey Jedi. I know those exist, and what needs to happen is a yin and yang between the light and the dark. Working together fosters acceptance and love within the galaxy. Even the symbol in the pool of the Jedi Temple in which Luke tucked himself away had a figure in a yin and yang pattern. “Powerful light and powerful dark...a balance”. Yet, any dark whatsoever that the Jedi see they stamp out.

When Anakin says, “If you’re not with me, then you’re against me”, Obi-wan responds with, “Only sith think in absolutes!”. Well, can you see the issue there? Obi-wan is also thinking in absolute. Using the word only further segmented and cast aside Anakin, by labeling him a lost cause. Such a similar thing happened with Kylo Ren and the incident with Luke at the Jedi Academy. The momentary lapse which Luke expressed to Rey was the tipping point. In Ren’s eyes, even his Master saw him beyond saving. And since everyone around him insists on thinking in absolute, then he must be bad according to them, right?

Slowly, Ren is beginning to realize there is another way, something not presently defined within the Star Wars universe. It is not Sith, it is not Jedi, it is not the First Order: it is the ‘new order’ which he proposes to Rey. Yet, he is not ready for redemption yet. The entire point of the scene was for Rey to realize that Kylo Ren cannot be saved by anyone but himself. This is a very powerful message and I am quite looking forward to seeing how his self-realization occurs in Episode Nine. Now, keep in mind that he had banked everything on Rey saying yes, and in his mind, she is “Still. Holding. ON!”, which she is, and he is right that it is holding her back. How can you expect someone from a family of yelling, angry people to get it right the first time? In fact, Adam Driver had to ask Rian Johnson if Kylo Ren had ever kissed a girl before. Kylo is not experienced in this ‘love’ world. He did not receive much love language from his absentee parents, so the only relationship he’s known for most of his teen and adult life is that of Snoke and General Hux. At that moment in which he wakes up to realize she is gone is one of abandonment and rejection. He thought he had found his match, the answer to his loneliness, and she snapped his lightsaber in two. He is basically throwing a grownup temper-tantrum, which is blatantly apparent in the standoff with Luke. When Kylo threatens everything, even ‘destroying’ Rey, Luke claims that everything Kylo says is “a lie”. It is clear in the last few moments of the film when Kylo is defeated and on his knees holding his father’s die that the audience begins to realize his anger was all a facade. In that shot, he is merely a lost and lonely boy realising the path he has chosen is wrong. The final force-bond between Kylo and Rey exhibits every one of those notions. There is no anger in his face, not very ‘destroy-ee’ of him, and he looks up with her with an almost longing. But when she sternly shuts the door on him, once again he is left alone, the die slowly fading from his gloved hand.

If that doesn’t sound like poetry then I don’t know what is! George Lucas was quoted saying in the behind the scenes of the prequels, “You see the echo of where it all is gonna go. It’s like poetry, sort of. They rhyme.” Similar themes and sequences occur within the franchise, and they have kept that alive at Disney Lucas Films, especially in regards to the parallels drawn between Anakin/Padme and Kylo/Rey. They even designed their respective costumes in a similar fashion. Kylo has his mother and father’s anger and stubbornness. They had a rough idea of where it was all going to go. And in regards to JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson, JJ Abrams was an executive producer on Episode 8 and had a say in the general outline of the plot. JJ had set up the relationship between Kylo and Rey in The Force Awakens, and Rian continued along that path. He followed the skeleton needed to get the plot from 7-9. But think about it, Disney would not allow Rian to just veer off the path completely. Yes he had some creative license but within parameters. Sometimes I don’t think people understand the workings of a large corporation with creative decisions. On a project like Star Wars there is always input from the higher-ups. In addition, JJ Abrams auditioned potential Kylo Ren actors with the script from Pride and Prejudice (Mr. Darcy of course). This is made clear in the writing decisions and parallels which have been made for that particular character.

Lastly, would you really want George Lucas at the helm of this new trilogy? People thought the prequels were terrible and Lucas went back and digitally altered the originals against the will of fans. He is not technically the best when it comes to scriptwriting (Exhibit A: “I hate sand, it gets everywhere!”) Also, Mark Hamill was interviewed in the early ’00s and said, "You know, when I first did this, it was four trilogies. 12 movies! And out on the desert, any time between setups...lots of free time. And George was talking about this whole thing. I said, 'Why are you starting with IV, V and VI? It's crazy.' [Imitating Lucas grumble,] 'It's the most commercial section of the movie.'” Yes, the first film was a stand-alone, since they had no idea they would receive any further funding. But then the immense success allowed for Lucas to develop the franchise further.

What I think people tend to forget is that Star Wars is a fairy tale, and it is not supposed to be about ‘a mass murder’ who is going to jail. It is supposed to be about redemption at its very heart. George Lucus had expressed that he intended Star Wars as a series for “twelve-year-olds”. This explains things like Jar Jar Binks and other bizarre choices he has made as a creator. Though this explains a lot of why most of the people who hate the franchise now are angry adults online who live in an overly politically correct world judging a fictional character who is in the middle of a character arc. As JJ Abrams had said in the director's commentary of The Force Awakens, “We looked at it like […] a fairy tale. What are the elements that you’re going to see that makes it this genre, this specific genre? […] You’re probably going to have a castle, and a prince and a princess, if you’re looking at a fairy tale. We wanted to give these fundamental, not cosmetic, but prerequisite elements.”

Okay, I’ve talked too much. I am going to end it there for now. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Haha hope that was entertaining and that sparked some thinking and inspiration. I know I let my keyboard run away from me and please excuse the odd typo from time to time. Let me know your thoughts.

I mean just look at that beautiful man.

Love you all!

#reylo #star wars #kylo ren #rey #long reads #in defense of kylo #ben solo #george lucas #bendemption

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daily-tolgirl-smolbean · 5 years ago

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January 13, 2020 (Monday)

It’s Monday again! Which means I get to see you again!

You woke up early and took a bath. You’re already prepared by 4 am to go back to Makati but your office advised you to just wfh. You also think no one will be in the office plus you’re scared of the oncoming disasted, that’s why you decided to wfh in the end. I’m glad you did. It was a very eerie day, disaster’s abound and everyone’s mildly panicking. It also made me calmer that you’d be at home with your family instead of the office where not a lot of people could be there in case anything happens. You also decided to just come back at night since you also have an apartment viewing scheduled.

I woke up to your message about that decision and another message where you asked me to call you when I wake up ‘coz you’re worried. Now. That made me worried. I dunno what you’re thinking or what’s worrying you that warrants the need for me to call you immediately. I woke up to that text at around 5 am. I set up an alarm last night ‘coz I wanted to check up on you if you’d be back to Makati. Good thing I did so I managed to call you back early on.

So we had an early morning vid call. You explained to me your decision . You also told me why you were worried. Your reason? You were worried you won’t be beside me if the disaster happens. You were worried for me. You’re worried you won’t be able to protect me.... I was a bit taken aback. I mean, I’m a big girl, I’m pretty much prepared for things. I’ve had emergency trainings for years so at least I know I can handle the situation. But you were seriously worried I’m far away and I’m closer to the disaster happening. That made my heart melt if only you new.

We made a promise with each other. You’ll take care of me and I’ll protect you. So thank you for taking care of me and trying to protect me. I’ll be okay. What’s important is that I know you’re okay and safe. My smol bean <3

So I told you I’m okay and not to worry. You said it’s important that you know I’m safe. You also know I can take care of myself but you wanted me to be extra careful still. Then you told me the things I should do, like buy and wear mask. Not to go out without mask. Don’t go to work if it got worse ‘coz there’s earthquakes too. And I did do all these. I’m a good girl who will follow every details if it;ll calm down my smol bean. I told her the prep I made plus reassure her my office is pretty safe. So we went back to sleep.

Work’s not suspended. We’re apparently ashproof people sus. I got out and wore my mask. Things are looking the same, there’s still unrest among the Filipinos but I still managed to go to work. Less people are at work though, one of my staff even got stuck in Batangas where it’s worse. I’m the only one from my team to be in the office. So I started working early on. Smol bean woke up again to start wfh. I went to work early today. I had to be prepared if smol bean will be back in Makati. I really wanted to see her so the earlier the better hehe. I mean, it’s not a sure thing she’d be back that night but still, I wanna be prepared.

So work day started that way. It’s so boring tho. Mondays are the laziest time for me. So I barely made a dent on my work load by lunch time. plus i just mostly kept on checking up the situation of Taal. Smol bean kept me company tho. Even sent me a vid of Snow (the doggo) booping Marble’s (catto) head where Snow’s pretty proud. Lol, that’s my dude.

By lunch, I decided to vid call her while I’m eating at the deli in our building. Just wanted to watch her work while eat. She kept me company during that lunch. One thing about me is I always eat lunch alone. I got no friends in the office. Does that make me weird? hmmm. I guess I’m just really a weird mix of introvert and lazy. I’m lazy to make friends and get to know people again but also I’m content to be alone and make my lunch time my me time. I really enjoy just reading or playing or warching vids during lunch. This time tho, I’m really happy I got to spend it with her even just through a vid call.

I really need to remind myself to not forget that connecting to people is also important. If it weren’t for my friends trying to drag me, I probably whould live within my own world. lol Smol bean’s the only most recent person I put an effort to get to know and put myself out there. :p

So the afternoon went like that. We kept the vid call going while we’re working. I ended up working just 1/10th of the time. Most of it? I’m staring at her. And I’m way too lazy to wok so I just asked her if we can make landian na lang hahahahahaha. And this girl likes to spoil me so she gave me some incentives for powerboost. Some really really nice incentives 😏 smol bean can really get me hot and bothered that fast lol. Also, she made me promise I’ll only be like that with her. No other crushes (except actresses and famous people ‘coz she knows I like fandoms hehe). I told her that that’s not a problem.

A little bit of background. I’m not the type of person who easily gets crush on people since I was a kid. I kept thinking about it back then. I don’t have a childhood sweetheart and all that. I basically don’t like people that much haha. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate people’s aesthetics. Like the way they carry themselves or what they’re wearing but I don’t think on things like I wanna date them or such. So if I do end up with a crush, I obsessed over them for a while..... which is what happened with smol bean. hehehe. I basically stalked her on whatever online form I can back then. mehehe

Anyways, I told her I miss her and wanted to see her if she’s going to Makati. She still can’t decide if she will up to the last minute. She’s prepping to leave when she learned that the apartment she was supposed to be view is now taken. She’s really sad and disappointed about that. I knew she wanted that, that’s the second time it happened to her. So she told me that and I don’t know how to make her feel better. It sucks. So I just told her maybe it’s not yet meant to be, she still has time on her current rental. I decided to just help her look for some listings. I’m lazy to work naman so I searched some possible choices of apartment instead.

Dude, it’s so hard to look for a decent apartment at a decent price at a decent location. Everything’s too pricey these days. If only I can stay with her, we could split the rent on a goo apartment plus I’ll be living with her. I really have to work on that. I still have a few things to work around on my current life before I can do that. I’d really love that someday for us though 🥰 So for now, I sent her some listings while she’s on the bus going to Makati.

She’s also still worrying about the air in South. Smol bean’s too stressed about a lot of things. Apartment, Taal Volcano, Work. Tired. 🥺 She even asked me if I’m sure I’d go meet her. I asked her why, is she busy? ‘Coz really, I know she’s thinking about a lot of things and I don’t want to get in her way if she has other things to do. I understand naman. I really wanna see her but she’s my priority. We even had a bit of a misunderstanding there. She said she wanted to just rest early and work today. So I told her no worries, I’ll just see her tomorrow. But she got even more stressed, she said wanted to do everything but most of all, she wanted to see me. Apparently, I misunderstood her so she listed the things she wanted to do in order:

“Yung order ng gusto ko gawin ay

1. Makita ka

2. Matulog ng maaga

3. Magwork konti

1 yung pinakagusto ko “

So I told her yes! I wanna see her, she can work while we’re hanging out, and we’ll go home early so she can rest. (at the end of the night, we only ended up doing the first thing lol). Also, it should be noted that she told me we should also do what I want. But baby, if I’m the one we’d follow, we won’t ever go to work, we’ll just be together always and we would run away together. hahaha! So she told me she better be the responsible one so we’d follow her. hehe

I’m on my way to her na din. And she’s near her dorm. I arrived there and wait for her in the lobby. I’m really excited to see her. It’s been 4 days. I miss my smol beaaaannnn! And there she is! my cute cute cute baby! She’s wearing her star wars shirt, gray pants and black sneaks. Cool chick mode hehehe cute cute

We decided t have dinner in yellow cab. Not much people are waling around the area today. Maybe because of the Taal thing. Some people are wearing their face mask too. So we arrived at the restaurant and she insisted she’ll pay for dinner tonight. I really didn’t argue much ‘coz I was planning a nice dinner tomorrow (which was our 1st monthsary, yay!). Waited for her and chose a seat ath the back of the restaurant with the view of the tv so I can watch the news.

She got us a large pizza and some iced tea for me. We started catching up on how’s a day even though we’ve been talking the whole day. This is how we are. It seems like we don’t ran out of things to talk about most times. It ranges from how our day went by, any random stories for the day, what our friends have been up to, games, memes, work and some of our relationshipwise things.Basucally anything and everything under the sun.

She’s the only person I’d wanna tell everything to. My friends know I’m a good listener and doesn’t really like to share much. It probably stems from my belief that no one listens. Like genuinely listens to what I have to say. So I’ve decided on myself to be that person who would listen. Until I’ve got no will to share my thoughts. I can even last a day without talking if no one would ask me anything. I know I know, I’m a weirdo hehe. Well anyways, with smol bean, it feels like I can tell her everything and she would listen to me. She won’t set aside the things I’m saying. But I’m also worried I talk too much when I’m with her. Sometimes I think I wanted to share so much she doesn’t have space to talk anymore. I wanna hear her stories too. I wanna know what she’s thinking. I don’t wanna overshadow her. I want us to be balanced and equal. I know I’m a tol girl and that I can be a bit bossy and commanding without consciously realizing it so I’m trying to be softer. I know I’m soft but a part of me still has some rough edges I need to smoothen. I want my smol bean to feel protected but also not too feel like I’m looming over her. hehe

So back to our talks. We talked a lot tonight. Like 3 hrs worth of talking, teasing, laughing, and flirting.We talked about how everyone is, the current taal situation and how we’ll handle it, her apartment hunting, and lot more. I don’t remember much the specifics but I can remember when I’d steal kisses from her. When she’d hold my hand and smile shyly at me. When she’d laugh and look resigned on my dirty clothes and pants because i spilled my food all over me again. When she snuggled with me on our bench while chatting. She really is my home isn’t?

There’s this one serious topic tho. There’s this question burning on her mind since she woke up. So I asked her what it is. She made me promise first that I’l be honest with her. Totally honest. Like no bullshitting my way through it. I promised to tell he the truth. I told her the foundation of a relationship is honestly, love and respect. So yeah, I won’t dare lie to her. She’s still doubtful if she should ask it ‘coz tomorrow’s our monthsary and it seems out of place to ask at this moment, but I told her, she should ask things if she wants. Tell things when she wants to. And do things she wanted. No need to be too doubtful. I’ll always be there to answer, listen and do anything and everything with her.

So she did. She asked me about my ex. The day I helped my x with the flower. She asked me what’s my role in it. I told her it was only delivered to my address so she can get it from me instead of directly sending it to her office which would just create a buzz there. I only received it, gave it to x so x can give it to her boyfriend who she’s having an issue with. And that’s it. That’s my only role in the whole thing. Apparently, smol bean thought I gave x the flowers ‘coz i wanted to comfort x. I almost laughed at that. First of all, flowers are not cheap, but I do love giving it to smol bean ‘coz I like making her smile everytime she gets one from me. She’s worth it. Second of all, if I wanted to comfort x, I’ll probably just buy her a coffee and listen to her rant and cry about her bf. But anyways, that’s not my role now. It’s not my job to comfort her, she has other friends for that. My focus right now is smol bean. I promised this to her. Also, I promise I’m telling the truth.

She believed me and hugged me. I really love her. I won’t ever dream of cheating on her or hurting her. I won’t take for granted this one in a million chance I’m given to be with someone as amazing as her.

We also talked about getting married. I don’t know why or I can’t explain why but at this point in our relationship, there a high chance we’re both sure we’d end up together. Like, we’re ready to spend a lifetime together. I know we’re too you or it’s still too early in the relationship, but for me, this is the kind of happiness I’d want to have if I’ll continue living in this world. This is it for me. She is it for me. So I told her, someday, maybe far away in the future, same sex marriage will be allowed in the Philippines. And when that happens, I told her, the moment it was allowed, she should be ready ‘coz I’ll come running to her to pick her up and bring her to wherever I could get that marriage license and marry her. This, I promise.

So yeah, we ended up just sitting there, with my arms over her shoulders while she snuggles to me. Then she told me, “Did you notice no one’s ever sat beside the tables on both our sides?” And i laughed at that! That’s true! No one dared sit beside use, we’re apparently flirting way too much it’s like we have our own bubble around the back of the restaurant. HAHAHA. Bakit ba. There’s way too many tables around they can go to anyways. hehe i missed my smol bean and missed hanging out with her. We ended up just staying for more than three hours. But it’s getting late and she needs to sleep early. She has to be at work by 7 am.

Not much people will be at their office and her friends would tease/scold her if they knew why she’ll be at the office tomorrow. Most of them are working from home. The reason? Me... mehehe but also, she can’t work properly at home lol So I walked her home. Just like most days, my heart feels full that moment. Such a bittersweet feeling since we’d have to be separated when we arrive. But stll, spending time with her is like recharging my being. Getting to hold her hand while silently walking through the lamp-ridden Makati night is still one of the best memories I cherish. This time, we’re wearing face masks tho haha another one for the books.

And so, we arrived at her condo, we sat at our usual stone seat while booking my ride home. Don’t wanna be separated but that’s how things are for now. can’t wait to go home with her on our own place so we won’t have to go our separate ways again. hehe. The grab car came, she walked me to the car, I hugged her and kissed her. I like getting my goodbye kiss. It’s like kissing her goodnight too. 😌 And so, I went home. We sent our usual messages of how we enjoyed our time together (sana all noh hihi).

Got home. Got ready for bed. And we’re both ready to sleep. She suddenly sent me a message saying she misses me. UwU never knew I’d find someone who’ll feel as intensely as I feel for her. I miss her too already. 🥺 Then comes the i love yous 🥺 Until I realized it’s already 12 mn. which means.......

Happy 1st Monthsary <3

We greeted each other and sent sweet messages on how we would like to spend a lifetime together. I would like to thank whoever in the universe made me find my soulmate in her. :)

---

PS: Mark my words, someday, I will marry the heck out of you. <3

#JeLee #smol bean #tol girl #you are my soulmate and no one can change my mind

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coyotelaughingsoftly · 7 years ago

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What’s your take on JKR’s stand on Johnny Depp/Grindelwald issue?

Okay. It’s important for everyone to first of all understand that I don’t give a damn about celebs as people. Yes, I wish them well, hope nothing bad happens, yadda yadda yadda. I don’t care who they marry. I don’t research their relationships with their mother. I don’t, as one acquaintance of mine, have every picture of Suri Cruise ever published. (What about Rupert, I hear some of you ask? He’s a complete behavioral aberration that confuses even me, although I think part of his appeal is his reticence.) Aside from (some) actors/actresses, I don’t even know what they look like if they don’t perform in a visible media—I only know what JKR looks like because so many people reblogged her on here. Needless to say, I don’t follow any of them on social media platforms, I don’t read tabloids, and as soon as I see a text post with a famous name in it that isn’t short enough to be a joke, I skip it. The point I’m trying to make is that I haven’t followed any of this closely (nor do I care to), so I’m only going on the little I’ve seen and a couple of casual conversations I had.The main thing I’m getting is that people are pissed at her for allowing, or at least not speaking out against, Johnny Depp appearing in the latest movie. I can see why, for some, that would be hard to take. (And let me make really clear right now, since I know if I don’t I’ll be accused of it; I don’t care about him. I don’t care if I ever see another movie he performs in or not.) JD was accused and went on trial. The details I saw felt.....off. Mainly the fact that she claimed to have concrete evidence, then failed to give it even though she had plenty of support and was being given the chance. Instead, she took the money, which increases the feeling that something was wrong about all that, or else that she, the victim, considered that full recompense for herself. (And no, I personally don’t believe something like that can be bought off, but I’ve known several victims that were more than willing to to accept it as such, and that’s a personal decision each one has to make for themselves.)His wife retracted her accusation for money. Even though I’m sure some will argue the point, she didn’t have to. She could have kept going and made him bleed. In essence, she made a final legal statement absolving him of guilt. Whether that was true or not, that’s what she went with. Given the nature of the evidence and how things concluded, for a lot of people there’s too much nuance to render a verdict and be 100% sure of being right. One friend of mine was getting heated about it, and I made the comment, ‘I’m surprised he doesn’t just go ahead and blow his brains out; that’s all he’s good for now.’ Cue much spluttering about how horrible it is to wish suicide on someone, that while they’re alive they could change, or maybe they really didn’t do it, etc. Then I asked what was the point? ‘You say he shouldn’t have any type of career, he should be abandoned by friends and family, and universally loathed for the rest of his life. What’s the point of living with that?’ Naturally they got very defensive, and said that even if he wasn’t legally convicted, he could confess and make a public apology.And there’s the rub. That’s what people want. A big, sloppy, public apology for them to wallow in so they can feel either morally justified in denying, or benevolent for accepting. The court of law might be through with him, but the court of public opinion demand their bite, too. And it’s one that will never be satisfied on this point. Some seriously do believe he should die for it, whether he did it or not. Some say that if he makes a public and genuine apology and owns up to everything, they’ll never feel the same about him, but they can allow him to rebuild, so to speak. Some are confused why, in spite of his wife having similar claims leveled against her (which still obviously wouldn’t make anything that might have happened to her right), she’s allowed to continue on her way, as if her victim doesn’t matter. No one is going to agree to the same exact extent. If you honestly believe that watching a movie says ‘yes, I support his every action outside of a role’ (which, if you actually think about it, leaves you open up to condoning quite more than you realize since no media you consume is pure), then you shouldn’t watch it. If you’re not sure what to believe because you genuinely want the facts no matter what they are, but the whole thing is making you feel guilty or disgusted just looking at him? Give it a pass. Because whether it’s right or wrong, at this level you shouldn’t go against your own private moral compass.Do you feel that there’s insufficient evidence for you to feel comfortable making a judgment, and you don’t think that consuming a product immediately means that you condone every single action by every party involved? Watch the movie. Do you think that her acceptance of money and the public statement she made, in tandem with her dropping the suit, means that in HER eyes that the outcome was legally acceptable, and that the public’s opinion is less than hers? Watch it, if you want.Do you think that what actually happened doesn’t matter, or think that even if he is guilty, you don’t care? Then you are a miserable shitstain on the panties of Mother Earth, and any argument I make won’t sway you out of the choice that brings you gratification. (All of) that being said, JKR has apparently decided that A) He’s been legally cleared, B) There’s not enough evidence for her to make a call, C) For all we know, she’s spoken to the actual parties involved and has enough insight into the matter to go ahead. That’s her choice. And aaaaaaallllll of the different people I’ve mentioned are trying to demand that she share their view and act as they would. She doesn’t owe anyone that. No celebrity does. The fact that we WANT one to pass judgement as if their word is some type of Divine law is kind of......creepy. Seriously. We want someone to make a judgement so we can judge both in turn. We’ll let ourselves be swayed by what one person—a person not even involved mind you—decides about someone else. And we’ll either follow along and pat ourselves on the back that we’re Socially Conscious and a part of the Morally Elite, or if what they say doesn’t line up with what we wanted them to say, we turn on them and get the same satisfaction for burning a wit—calling them out. Personally, I’ve never cared for JKR outside of what she wrote in 7 books. I’ve ignored her opinions and views on the world not because I disagree with them, but because I don’t believe that someone’s voice should have more weight just because of fame. If she did it because she cared more about money than the abuse, that’s disgusting and indefensible. But if she has weighed the evidence and doesn’t feel that it is strong enough to give her the right to judge, or that since his wife has taken the settlement and made a statement that she felt she has been given her due, that’s her choice. If she’s privy to information that the public doesn’t have access to, it’s also her choice. One she’s allowed to make, just like the rest of us, and it’s pointless and ridiculous for people take a nuanced situation and say, ‘If she’s not out for his blood, she’s an apologist!’AGAIN, I’ve been asked for my personal opinion, which I can only give on the information I have. Ultimately only the two people directly involved know what went on. Based on what is known, I’m not going to bay for his blood or plead his case as a misunderstood and wronged angel. Nor am I going to say whether JKR was right in making supportive statements (ignoring the outcry of whether or not she should have refused to have him, since I’m not sure of her contractual rights in that regard) because she is ALSO having to judge a situation that’s had enough inconsistencies to make certainty murky at best. It really depends on why she came to that decision. And as much as I know everyone wants a step by step guide to her thought process so they know whether or not to like her is okay anymore, it’s unlikely to happen. In summation:Domestic abuse: Bad. Wrong. Never justified. (I’m not counting striking out in defense of self or others, obviously.)Excusing or ignoring the above. Bad. Wrong. Being confused about conflicting evidence and being afraid to make an inaccurate judgement call without firsthand evidence: Perfectly natural, as long as it’s motivated by a desire for true justice and not just wanting to admit someone you may have admired has done a bad thing.Choosing how you, personally, react to someone who has been convicted or casually accused, and how much of their content you consume: Depending on motivation can be right or wrong, but it is your choice.Forcing someone to comply to your choice and accusing them of supporting abuse if their opinions don’t line up exactly. No. Wrong. Welcome to New Wave Puritanism.Wanting someone (whether celeb, politician, or blogger) to be the Priest/Priestess of High Morals to sway people to follow their judgements on others without giving your own thought and research: A Fucking Extremely Unwise Choice.(Sorry this is long and rambly, but I’m on mobile and half sick. If I wasn’t clear about something I’ll try to fix it later.)

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sunbaethehuman-blog · 7 years ago

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Indecisive - ( Pt. 1)

Yoongi Angst | Taehyung x Reader

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 (coming soon)

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader | Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, BTS x Reader, series

Author’s note: SECOND FANFIC AYYYYY. I’ve been writing this one since….. this summer maybe?? lol idk im lazy af and i still have other stuff to write. RLLY GOOD STUFF TOO. ive been into angst stuff lately bc i love to break my heart over n over again :’))) thats my kink guys!!! getting my heart broken!! haha jk im srry i will sto p anyways. I love yoongi with all my heart,,,, but i also love taehyung with all my heart so i was like WHY NOT AHAHAHA bias vs bias wrecker ok now i’m overdoing this author’s note thing im srry pls enjoy btws i posted this without rlly reviewing it so YEAH LETS GET IIIIIIT

“Ew, what kind of face is that?” a low voice asked, looking at the screen on the phone you were holding up, the front camera facing you and raven haired male that sat next to you as you took a selfie. You had your face scrunched up, eyes rolled up to the point where the only the whites of your eyes were shown, you clicked the camera shutter.

“What’s wrong with silly pictures?” You pouted and turned to your date. As he looked back at you, he scoffed, “you call that silly? That’s more ugly than it is silly.” His tone was serious but you knew his humor consisted of roasts.

You couldn’t help but laugh and playfully hit his shoulder, “Okay, okay. We’ll take a good one.” Your hand still in position, you smiled at the camera showing teeth, while the young man smirked. Click. “There we go.” You cooed. The lights began dimming, indicating the movie was about to begin so you put your phone away.

You were amazed by the fact you were able to ask Yoongi out on a date to the cinema. You weren’t sure how to go about it but you asked your best friend, Taehyung for advice, he seemed weird about it but eventually he said to just go for it. You and Yoongi were good friends to begin with but you felt something else go on between you two (a lot of sexual awkward tension to be exact). For a while, neither of you acknowledged it, knowing it could possibly ruin your friendship, and that’s something the neither of you wanted.

Deciding to see a romantic comedy, Yoongi was first against it, but it was the only thing you could stand watching. Horror wasn’t your cup of tea, so Yoongi let it slide. To your surprise, you heard Yoongi laughing along beside you. Looking at him laughing, you couldn’t help but smile too.

Then, a sudden burst of happiness hit you. It was weird–it would happen from time to time and it’d come at the most random times. The feeling was strong and passionate that just couldn’t be ignored.

“Hey, Yoongi…” you began, but you stopped. Yoongi’s phone was vibrating in his pocket. As the screen lit up, his eyebrows knitted together, “ahh, what can I do..” he flashed his phone at you, “it’s Suran. I’ll be back.” Answering his call in a low whisper, he got up from his seat and walked while crouching, trying not to block people from veiwing the movie and walked outside of the movie theater.

All of your firey passion was gone in an instant. Your heart’s content was quickly replaced with sadness. ‘Why am I being like this..? It’s not like he’s leaving.. Ohmygod. Am I jealous?’ You felt frustrated about your own feelings. ‘No! I can’t be. They’re both my friends.’

Holding a burdensome conversation with yourself, a voice whispered into your ear, “I’m so sorry,” it was Yoongi. Making you snap out of the lonesome quarrel, you turned your head towards him, “Suran is… in need of my help. I have to go. I’ll see you later.”

To your understanding, you nodded, “alright. No worries, I hope everything’s fine..!” and with that, he rushed back out.

Trying to keep your cool, you sunk into your seat, ‘they’re both my friends… then why am I feeling like this?’ you could only ask yourself that same question over and over.

‘Next time, maybe?’ you asked yourself. The autumn night breeze blew your hair, chilling your cheeks and runny nose. The hoodie you wore under your jean jacket kept you warm. After Yoongi left, you had been in a sour mood and decided to leave without finishing the movie. You felt like you needed to take a walk, and that’s what you did. It felt nice to have some time to yourself and sort out these senses.

Getting home, you plopped down onto your bed, spreading your limbs out. Staring at the ceiling, you contiplated whether or not to text Yoongi. And after many debates, you finally decided yes. Pulling out your phone from your purse and clicking the message app, you picked Yoongi’s contact.

YOU: Hey, how is Suran doing? Is everything okay?

After a few minutes, you recieved a reply.

Yoongi-nie: Hey, everything’s fine, I guess. her boyfriend broke up with her so she needed my moral support… how was the movie? sorry i didn’t stick around long enough to see the ending. did they end up together?

YOU: oh no that’s terrible. HE DIDN’T DESERVE HER. HE’S AN ASS. I got her back, tell her that. and the movie was good. :) you lied guess we gotta redo this lil date so you can find out for yourself! haha

The reply from Yoongi took a little longer than you had hoped.

Yoongi-nie: Date? i didn’t know this was a date… i thought we were only hanging out….

What–. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Your heart was pounding hard against your chest.

YOU: Oh, hanging out? lol then do u want to go on a date sometime with me…?

At that point, you felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest. Turning your screen off, you screamed while throwing your phone to the other side of your bed. The anticipation and anxiety began to build. “WHY DID I DO THAT? JEEZ, FUCK. OHMYGOD. NOOO. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK–” Ding! You received a message.

Quickly crawling to the other side of your bed, you flipped over your phone and rushed to unlock it.

Yoongi-nie: No. Sorry. I don’t like you like that. I always thought I treated you like my annoying little sister, but I don’t want to keep leading you on. I’m sorry but I don’t feel that way.

Your heart sunk. It was the end. Honestly, you didn’t know what you were expecting. Your life isn’t like the romantic comedies. You weren’t going to get the boy. It happens.

YOU: Ahhh. Okay. Sorry, I misunderstood. I probably made you feel uncomfortable. Thanks for telling me the truth, though. I really appreciate it.

Yoongi-nie: Are you okay? I don’t want you to be depressed or anything.

At this point, your heart felt destroyed.

YOU: OMG. Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. I just need some time if that’s okay.

Yoongi-nie: Take all the time you need. Again, I’m sorry.

YOU: Don’t apologize. It’s okay, seriously. Goodnight.

Yoongi-nie: Goodnight.

Recieving that last text, you set your phone on silent and played music. You didn’t think playing your favorite songs could make you feel so sad.

———————————————————————————————————–

The next day felt draining. Although you didn’t have work, your morning wasn’t as enjoyable as it could’ve been. Doing what you usually do on your day off, you jumped into the shower. Since you had no plans of going out, you only changed into comfy sweats and a t-shirt, and tied your hair up into a pony-tail. Next, you cleaned your apartment while listening to music that blasted through your speakers. It was a good distraction until you heard a knock at the door.

Turning down the music, you took a look at yourself in the mirror that hanged in the hallway before the front door and moved away misplaced strands of hair out of your face then opened the door.

It was Taehyung wearing his baggy tan hoodie and ripped blue jeans. He had what seemed like bags filled with food in his hands. “Good morning!” He smiled. You were able to keep it together since the night before and all morning but for some reason, seeing your best friend’s face made you break into tears. “Taaaaaehyuuuuung..!” you sobbed.

The brunette’s smile was wiped off with concern and confusion, “woah, woah what happen?” He closed the door behind him and placed the bags onto the table before wrapping his lengthy arms around you.

His warm embrace made you cry into his chest even harder and hug back. All that was heard were muffled sobs. “There, there.” he said softly, stroking the top of your head. He was patient with you, he always was. And it was rare to see you cry, Taehyung knew you were a strong when it came to your feelings. Stress, frustration or even just sad movies never made you cry.

After a few minutes of ugly sobbing, you stepped back, letting go and looking up at him through your blurry vision. Taehyung looked back into your eyes and only chucked, “well that’s a sight for sore eyes.” cupping your cheeks, he wiped away your tears as you sniffed. “Are you ready to tell me what happen?”

The only response you gave him was a slow nod. Tired of standing at the door, the both of you moved the conversation to your living room, where you told him about your heartbreak.

You sat at one end of the couch in a little ball while Taehyung sat at the other end. “Ahhh… this is so embarrassing…” you sighed, rubbing your eyes and sniffed.

“Why are you embarrassed? These are your feelings. There’s nothing you should be embarrassed about.” Taehyung comforted.

You sighed once again, “ah… why did I have to fall for Yoongi? I should’ve just fallen for you instead. We’re practically married,” leaning your head against the leather cusion of the couch and giggled.

Only a corner of Taehyungs lips lifted, “that’s food for thought.” He leaned over and patted the closest limb he was able to reach, which was your foot, weird but it still felt comforting, “I don’t know what else to say but to move on–things like this happen. I don’t want to sound like a jerk and tell you this but it’s the truth,” he sighed, “and I don’t want you to keep bringing your hopes up for them to be suddenly broken down again.”

Taking a deep breath and rubbing your eyes before combing through your hair with your fingers, you looked at him, “aghhh, you’re right. I have to get over him…. and I’ll start by eating that food you brought–where it at?” you got off the couch and quickly walked to the table in the hallway where Taehyung left the bags.

Opening the bags, it felt as if the food itself was glowing and shinning on your face. Was there a choir of angels singing? Who knows but you could hear them loud and clear. All you could do was mischievously laugh to yourself, “oh, Taehyungie. You know me so well.” The bags were filled with all of your favorite snacks and drinks.

“I thought we could watch some movies and chill all day while eating junk food,” the owner of the low and husky voice popped in, watching you drool from the hallway.

You looked up at the direction it come from and smiled, “Taehyung, you have perfect timing.”

#bts #yoongi #suga #taehyung #kim taehyung #min yoongi #angst #bts angst #kpop #kpop angst #yoongi x reader #taehyung x reader #one shot #fluff #agust d #part 1 #BTS - Indecisive

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zen-garden-gnome · 4 years ago

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The Turning of the Wheel of Dharma

There are practically infinite ways to approach the practice of Buddhism. It’s said that since the moment of his enlightenment, the Buddha simultaneously understood everything he would then continue to teach throughout his life and presented it differently where appropriate--with 84,000 different teachings, in fact. (It could also be said that he continued to learn and change as he came upon new circumstances. For example, the Buddha originally taught that women could/should not be monks, but later changed this aspect of his teachings within his own lifetime--after some convincing. It’s been argued that he taught what was culturally appropriate when that was most effective, and presented this differently when it became possible to do so.)

While all Buddhist traditions arise from the same basic precepts, there are many “versions” of Buddhism. Some versions are called by their location/culture of practice, such as Zen Buddhism (Japanese), Chan Buddhism (Chinese), and Thien Buddhism (Vietnamese), but all three of these “versions” are of the same main Mahayana tradition. The greater changes and geological/territorial movements of early Buddhism are described as The Turnings of the Wheel of Dharma (Dharma Chakra, an established wheel of law or maintenance). The three primary traditions or branches of Buddhism correspond with the Three Turnings of the Dharma Wheel, and they are the Thervada, Mahayana, and Vajrayana traditions...

Theravada is the only remaining school from the early Buddhist period. Theravada texts are in the Buddha’s original Pali language and mainly focus on the Buddha’s life and early teachings. This “version” of Buddhism is the “first turning of the wheel,” which is said to have begun with the Buddha’s first teaching of the Four Noble Truths at Deer Park in northern India around the 5th century B.C. These early teachings are said to offer a conceptual, logical, actionable approach to the nature of reality intended to help people unfamiliar with these concepts obtain a preliminary path to liberation. In this way, Theravada can be described as being part of/contained within all other schools. To my understanding, many people enter Buddhism in response to their own great suffering, and so personal liberation is often the first stepping stone for their development. The focus on renunciation, personal liberation, and strict adherence to early monastic lifestyles, while clear and actionable and closest to the earliest traditions, can also be inaccessible and unreasonable. For example, some Theravada sutras state it’s impossible for women to become enlightened, and most Theravada temples in Thailand refuse to fully ordain their nuns. For these and other reasons, some practitioners and scholars to consider Theravada Buddhism “incomplete.” In fact, the earlier name Hinayana (“smaller vehicle”) is often considered a derogatory synonym for Theravada, and should probably be avoided.

Mahayana is the largest major tradition of Buddhism, is presented originally in Sanskrit, and is said to have appeared about 500 years after Theravada. It’s said that the basic elements of this second turning exist in the Buddha’s original teachings given on Vulture Peak Mountain in Rajagriha, India, but took around another 500 years to be appropriate and/or accessible for humanity. While the first turning focused on personal enlightenment, the second turning focuses on the perfection of wisdom teachings--that is, the teachings on emptiness and compassion, which together form the essence of Mahayana Buddhism: a spontaneous wish to attain enlightenment, motivated by great compassion for all beings. This state of mind is called bodhicitta, and while Theravada certainly contained aspects of these teachings, Mahayana goes further in order to deepen the understanding of the true nature of existence: no inherent existence (no self), i.e. the interdependent arising of all things (compassion), i.e. the inherent emptiness of all things (emptiness). Theravada uses conceptual knowledge (people, selfhood, being one’s own refuge, planes of existence like heaven or hell, etc) in order to introduce people to the process of personal liberation, while Mahayana more directly discusses things in terms of the physical and the mental in order to guide people to knowledge of the ultimate reality (emptiness). Furthermore, Mahayana traditions include the concept of wilfully remaining in Samsara in order to help guide others to liberation.

Vajrayana draws its roots from the Noble Sutra of the Explanation of the Profound Secrets, so-called because it’s said to clear up confusion and even incomplete aspects of earlier teachings. The oral pieces of this sutra were likely assembled somewhere between the 1st and 3rd century CE for “official” dissemination (missionaries brought it to Tibet in the 5th century), but the third turning itself occurred closer to the 7th century, when Tibetan king Songtsan Gampo married two buddhist princesses and converted to Buddhism. The blend of Tibetan cultural animism and Mahayana Buddhism resulted in Vajrayana Buddhism, which focuses on Buddha Nature as a fundamental nature of mind and the idea that all beings may realize enlightenment, specifically within one lifetime. While Theravada uses conceptual thinking and Mahayana refutes conceptual thinking in search of the ultimate reality, Vajrayana uses a logical approach by exploring and refuting lines of logic. It accepts the usefulness of conceptualization and the usefulness of the subjective experience as learning tools and compass-builders--as tools, not truths. This so-called Tibetan Buddhism has been heavily influenced by dynasties in India, Central Asia, China, and Mongolia, and this collection of philosophies and traditions has resulted in a version of Buddhism that many find more “whole” than previous versions. For example, the teachings of Tantra--a core aspect and sometimes secondary name for Vajrayana--utilize the subjective experience as a way of recognizing the emptiness of phenomena. To understand the emptiness of pleasure, seek pleasure until it feels empty. To understand the emptiness of pain, seek pain until it feels empty. It’s worth noting that the sensual/sensory rituals of Tantra have been vastly misunderstood by observing cultures, especially in the colonized world. Furthermore, the animist (Pagan) aspects of Vajrayana (Tibetan) Buddhism play a large role in China’s rejection of this form of Buddhism, and its efforts to forcefully replace it with Chan (Chinese Mahayana) Buddhism.

Many schools and teachings overlap and differ. There may be redundancy across seemingly different concepts, lists, teachings, etc, or a seemingly unnecessary amount of fragmentation. In truth, there are multiple ways of observing or describing Dharma concepts. The more we learn, the more content our subconscious mind is able to work with. While at first these redundancies and differences may be confusing, eventually it becomes clear how they relate, and perhaps more importantly, becomes clear that the individual must come to their own personal understanding, anyway. Perhaps adhering fully to one particular school of Buddhism can make it easier, especially since the possible gaps or limitations of a single school/path ultimately don’t matter?

(These are the synthesized notes based on my Dharma study. They are by no means complete and are only intended to help me make sense of the texts, articles, and lectures I’m consuming. Now that they exist and I know how their understanding has positively affected my life, they ought to be shared. It’s said that acting on an incomplete understanding of Buddhism and other wisdom teachings can be dangerous, or at least lead one astray, so please don’t take my assembled notes too seriously. Please feel free to share corrections and expansions!)

#buddhism #dharma #notes #zgg

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poppo911 · 8 years ago

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You’ve Got Mail! (Chapter 4)

Read it on FFN here

Word count : 1900-ish

Chapter 4 – The Bet

To : All contacts

From : Maes Hughes

Attachment : Elysia_001 .jpeg, Elysia_003 .jpeg, and 54 more attachments

Subject : Your morning dose of happiness

You’re welcome.

Maes Hughes

Teacher, English Literature

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

To : Heymans Breda, Jean Havoc

From : Roy Mustang

Subject : Re: Re: Abort mission (continued)

Before you guys judge me for being ‘ignorant’, yesterday was too hectic for me to check on incoming mails. And yes, Jean, listen what Breda said; you’re still a dumb-ass.

Miles was right though, you were lucky enough. At last I met her yesterday. And who could’ve guessed that that accreditation board member whom you had a rather unpleasant argument with three years ago is an Armstrong? (and the one who got a say in the board, while at it.)

Seems like she still hold grudges on me for a reason I don’t remember. Imagine the awkward silence (or you’re-dead-to-me glares) I have to go through everytime we encountered each others, considering we share an office room from now on.

Let’s just hope Maes won’t be genius enough to even try to push her button during his (suspiciously abundant) free time.

Roy Mustang

Teacher, Chemistry

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

To : Jean Havoc

From : Maria Ross

Subject : How many times do I have to tell you?

I don’t care how and when you do it, Jean, but no way in hell smoking is allowed anywhere inside school. The rooftop included. You’ll set bad examples for the students. Besides, the kids love you—they’re more inclined to justify your actions, and do it by themselves!

This will be my last warning before I write the Principal a formal complain letter on this matter.

Maria Ross

Teacher, School Guidance Counselor

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

To : Maes Hughes

From : Kain Fuery

Subject : Data Usage Notification

Mr. Hughes,

I regret to inform you that you have already used up all your bandwith. Please do take my advice to stop sending everybody gigabytes-worth of photos, and you will be able to enjoy this facility until the last day of every months. Thank you.

I’m not gonna receive your bribery, Sir. Mr. Greed already took suspicion on our internet funds, and had been eyeing me closely ever since. Sorry for that…

Regards,

Kain Fuery

Staff, Department of Information and Technology

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

To : Edward Elric

From : Riza Hawkeye

Subject : See me during lunch break

Dear Edward,

My experiences told me that detention letters have no effect on you. But that doesn’t mean you can get out from the fact that you sent a .docx with the writings ‘MUSTANG SUXX’ as its only content for your chemistry take-home assignment.

Meet me at the teachers’ room right after the bell rings. You know where my desk is.

Fail to do so, and I will pair you up with Ling for the upcoming group project(s).

Thank you.

Riza Hawkeye

Teacher, Biology

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

To : Olivier Mira Armstrong

From : Alex Louis Armstrong

Subject : Re: All those East City chickens are getting under my skin

O, my dearest Sister,

YOU HAVE JUST MISUNDERSTOOD OUR HOSPITALITY, THE PEOPLE FROM THE EASTERN SIDE OF AMESTRIS!

They were just trying to befriend you, Sister. Trust me. Perhaps the norms here are not exactly similar to those of North’s, but please adjust yourself.

Besides, it’s not a secret that Mr. Roy Mustang is the Principal’s favorite negotiator when it suits his needs, second only to himself. Do forgive me, Sister, because I can’t tell you what kind of demands Mr. Eugene Grumman insisted three years ago.

Oh, and I have done setting up your new desk according to your requests. I also added a little touch of fine arts to please your eyes. Worry not, my Sister, for my taste is far better than Kimblee’s.

With the spirits that had been passed down in the Armstrong Family for generations,

Alex Louis Armstrong

Coach, Physical Education

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

To : Kain Fuery

From : Rebecca Catalina

Subject : Is the Principal hiding in your server room again?

I swear to God I was just taking his tea cup back to the pantry and BOOM that old man disappeared like a trickster. He thought it would make me amused? Maybe, when the stars align. But absolutely NOT when we got a lot of works to submit before Tuesday!

Well guess what? Don’t tell him I’m going there. If he decided that the Principal’s Room is too boring that he chose to leave, trust me, his paperworks are more than eager to follow.

Why did I sign up for this shit anyway? Oh, right—Ri will kick me out if she’s the only one paying our room’s rent.

Rebecca Catalina

Staff, Principal’s Secretary

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

To : Christopher Vinther

From : Solf Z. Kimblee

Subject : This budget-efficiency-thingy is getting ridiculous

I’m a simple man; hence next time that old Grumman give me another warning due to unmet curriculum, I will just blame that on your decision to cut my clay-shopping budget.

Solf Z. Kimblee

Teacher, Visual Art

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

To : All contacts

From : Kain Fuery

Subject : Server Maintenance Notification

All students, teachers, and staffs,

Today we will be performing routine server maintenance and upgrading hardware on the server environment for performance and scalability. The maintenance will be performed on March 9th during a three hour window of 12:00 PM - 3:00 PM. We are expecting approximately two hours of down time during the maintenance. If you have any questions please contact our support team by emailing [email protected].

Thank you.

Kain Fuery

Staff, Department of Information and Technology

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

To : Mechanical geek (+xxxxxxxxx947)

From : Edward Elric (+xxxxxxxx311)

Hey Winry?

To : Edward (+xxxxxxxx311)

From : Winry Rockbell (+xxxxxxxxx947)

Yes?

To : Mechanical geek (+xxxxxxxxx947)

From : Edward Elric (+xxxxxxxx311)

Did you have a word with Miss Riza recently?

To : Edward (+xxxxxxxx311)

From : Winry Rockbell (+xxxxxxxxx947)

What do you mean?

To : Mechanical geek (+xxxxxxxxx947)

From : Edward Elric (+xxxxxxxx311)

Well… Did she, like, tell you something? Anything?

To : Edward (+xxxxxxxx311)

From : Winry Rockbell (+xxxxxxxxx947)

Umm.. no, I guess. Why are you asking?

To : Mechanical geek (+xxxxxxxxx947)

From : Edward Elric (+xxxxxxxx311)

Nothing. Really. Okay—one more thing—not even about me? Or something you don’t know??

To : Edward (+xxxxxxxx311)

From : Winry Rockbell (+xxxxxxxxx947)

Okay she did explain me some things about cellular metabolisms because I asked her, and technically that was something I didn’t know by that time. Aside from that, nope? Why so sudden??

To : Mechanical geek (+xxxxxxxxx947)

From : Edward Elric (+xxxxxxxx311)

Great. Well then. Better stop using our phones before Mr. Miles turn around from the whiteboard.

To : Edward (+xxxxxxxx311)

From : Winry Rockbell (+xxxxxxxxx947)

Weirdo.

To : Al (+xxxxxxxx744)

From : Edward Elric (+xxxxxxxx311)

Alphonse.

To : Brother (+xxxxxxxx311)

From : Alphonse Elric (+xxxxxxxx744)

What’s it, brother?

To : Al the TRAITOR (+xxxxxxxx744)

From : Edward Elric (+xxxxxxxx311)

You traitor.

To : Roy boy (+xxxxxxxxx489)