#not only for the obvious protection reason but it means people cant really see my expressions when theyre saying or doing some dumb shit
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carcarrot · 3 months ago
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ive got to start being more of a bastard at work
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lightningonatether · 4 months ago
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Why c!endersmile were actually friends
ALTERNATIVELY TITLED: my crazy thesis on two bad bitches with not a single moment of screentime fueled purely by my own insanity
ALTERNATIVELY alternatively titled: to all loreheads please be nice i dont usually lorepost. feel free to engage though
So my return is courtesy of litchi, who mentioned c!endersmile like once a month ago, and got me thinking about them so hard I couldn't just walk away.
Namely, litchi reminded me of a few theories I have concerning c!endersmiles relationship, that I developed back when i was watching the SMP live. This might make my recollection of some events a little fuzzy, but everything should be canon compliant cause I was thinking about all this as I watched.
I was already watching ranboo pretty regularly at the point the prison arc started, I cant resist a really weird guy with horrible debilitating anxiety. I already thought the whole hearing dreams voice in his head was really interesting, but as the prison arc evolved it became clear that ranboos relationship with dream wasnt just some hallucination inside ranboos head and actually had some substance.
My theory really started to develop into what it is now with the explosions on the prison roof which led to the lockdown and tommys death; these were confirmed to be set by ranboo in his enderwalk state. He was one of the only people online at the time, ranboo found tnt in his inventory afterwards, and I think dream also told sam he knew ranboo did it at some point, although I can't find the exact stream.
At that point it was obvious that enderwalking ranboo held a different set of beliefs, alliances, and likely more memories than the "awake" ranboo we saw most of the time on streams, and was acting against amnesiac ranboos wishes. The explosions above the prison along with the reveal that ranboo had been regularly visiting dream in prison confirmed that dream and ender!ranboo were some sort of allies.
At the time, my assumption was that ranboo had simply made an attempted prison break. It wouldnt be a stretch to assume, if ranboo had visited regularly, that he would have noticed the poor conditions and tried to break his ally out. However, after the confirmation of the staged finale, and a better look at cdreams motivations(wanting to provide protection for punz, separating himself very publicly from his only known ally to keep them safe) the idea that enderwalk ranboo, an ally of dreams, would go against dreams explicit wishes to stay locked in that prison began making less sense.
It would only make sense if either:
enderwalk never knew about the plan or
enderwalk knew about the plan but went against it anyway
1 is a very tempting explanation. c!dream rarely lets anyone close. even punz, who knew the plan intimately, wasn't aware of dreams true motivations to bring the server back to a peaceful time before conflict. but..... it didnt sit right with me.
Two reasons for this: I know some people may have stopped watching/never watched ranboo lore, but towards the end of the prison arc, ranboo began seeing flashes of "lessons" appear on screen. These lessons all had that utilitarian and paranoid feel a lot of dreams actions/reasoning have, like "dont trust anybody"(paraphrasing, thats just what i remember the core of that message being) or "never hesitate to gain a favor from someone, you can use it to get something from them later". anyone remember technos favor to dream? It was heavily implied these lessons were meant to be from dream, directed at c!enderwalk. This would mean the two spent a significant amount of time together. not only that, dream was sharing his *life philosophy* with ender!ranboo. thats not just something dream would share with anyone, and implies a close allyship at the least. its almost like he was teaching a pupil. yeah, sure, some of his lessons were a little fucked up and weird in that dream sort of way, but he was looking out for the kid. and it seems that enderwalk wasnt hesitant to act on those lessons either. he promised to keep a shulker safe for foolish, gaining a favor, and didnt sign a single one of those prison visitation waivers, on top of sam discovering they were corrupted into enderian when he checked LMAO.
This alone would be enough to persuade me enderwalk HAD to have been let in on the plan, at least so he wouldnt cause any problems (such as trying to get his ally out of prison).
but the other reason is... ranboos stated philosophy against conflict. he doesnt like sides, he wishes they wouldn't exist. I remember watching a stream and nearly jumping out of my seat when he told chat he just wished the server could just be one big happy family! because that is nearly word for word what a bunch of loreheads were saying about dreams motivations at the time(and now obviously lmao). if we keep in mind their contact for those "lessons", ranboos visits to dream in prison, AND the fact that dreams and ranboos motivations coincide on a level even Above dream and punzs(punz seemed to have been unaware of and also not particularly motivated by dreams wish for peace) i cant really imagine dream not letting this guy in on the plan.
which leaves us with 2) ranboo tried to break dream out against dreams wishes.
Maybe ranboo was just an ally and chickened out after he saw dreams mistreatment in prison and went against the plan, but... dream missed him after sam barred him from visiting. he asked sapnap to deliver a note to ranboo(just a smiley face, likely with the hopes of triggering an enderwalk) despite fearing for his ally punz enough to lock himself in prison. it feels reminicent to how dream sounds when he comments on george not visiting him once. like he missed a friend despite trying so hard to separate himself from the ones he'd had.
Maybe ranboo tried to break in because he saw a friend being mistreated, and couldn't leave the plan stand.
And that kind of makes sense doesn't it? that dream, someone whos paranoid about how peoples connection to him puts them in danger, would choose an amnesiac who spends most of their time terrified of dream, and wouldnt remember any of his plans or their friendship to use against either of them in the first place?
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elsa-fogen · 8 months ago
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Oh, Husk and Alastor?
Their dynamic is also pretty interesting, they kinda feel like two people who everyone thinks gets along great and are the best of friends. While in reality their friendship is fueled but a fire born from their hatred. They just have many decent moments and have a easy time understanding each other, through they often use that information to serve a selfish endeavor.
Like Alastor would mess with Husk, tease him and Husk would tell Al to get his act together so that he(Husk) doesn't have to deal with some sort of fallout (ref. when Mimzy comes by)
In general, I feel like they do get along really well, but they are in no way friends. Kinda like how you can get along well with your boss, but wouldn't really consider them a friend. And you wouldn't really want them to involve themselves in your life, but that doesn't stop Alastor. (Social conversions? What's that)
This also makes me curious, wonder what kind of dynamic Husk has with Rosie, or rather, how do you think Rosie sees Husk? Just like a pet Alastor has? Or does she actually see the person that is there? (Leaning more towards her not really seeing Husk more than a errand boy or pet of Alastor)
Though it would be fun if the first time Husk meet Rosie he thought that she might actually be willing to help him because she gives of the energy of being a very kind person around people she cares about (aka Alastor). So he tries to talk to her without Alastor present and he finally understands how they get along so well, they are both the same kind of crazy ᵔᵜᵔ
So, um- what are your thoughts on the dynamic between Alastor and Husk?
HEEEHEHHE YOU GOT ME A REASON TO TALK ABOUT MY FRESH HEADCANON ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIPS
OKAY SO!!
I saw a theory that Husk had children when he was alive. Keep that in mind, it's a secret tool we wanna use later
So, little bit about Alastor. He is not the guy who owns many souls. In fact, he doesn't own any (well... i have some headcanons, but it's for another time). The only soul he has is Niffty, and she's... she's whole another level.
So one day Alastor get's Husk's soul in posession and he has no idea what to do with him. Their contract is basically "you'll have to do anything i order you" but it doesn't set any boundaries for Husk. So he can insult Alastor, argue with him and so on. The only thing he cant is to try to kill Alastor, but it's obvious.
So, Alastor's just... drags him around, and Husk has to just be there all the time, and watch Alastor do stupid shit without thinking, being manipulated by Mimzy into some shenanigans and so on, because he's too powerful, kinda don't afraid of anything and little bit unhinged. And Husk is trying to be that voice of sanity for Alastor (and maybe Niffty). Like in canon, he tries to warn Alastor about Mimzy nd at some point seems genuinely worried about him. Just a bit. And also, in that scene in final song, when Alastor appears again, Husk doesn't seem happy but still goes for group hug.
I think he sees Alastor as a child he has to babysit, but the child is so spoiled, that he doesn't give a shit about his warnings. Maybe Al reminds him of his own children at some degree. And so Husk is attached to Alastor in some weird unhealthy way, he cares about him and tries to protect, even if it pointless.
The worst part of it is that Alastor doesn't see him more than funny fluffy cat-guy-pet. He almost never takes him seriously and doesn't listen to what he says. So Husk may try to reach out to Rosie, to make her to reason with Alastor. But she's basiclly "i could fix him, but whatever is wrong with him is way funnier". I think she listens to Husk's worries about another Alastor's scheme, but she also trusts Alastor? I mean, she belives that he'll be fine. But if something seems to dangerous, she can agree and talk to Alastor.
After all, Husk was an overlord, and i think Rosie could know him before he made a deal with Alastor. So, i think she doesn't think of Husk as just Al's pet, she knows who he is. After all, not every sinner can become an overlord. But still,
So, last thing. I saw that one comic where after episode 5 Alastor admits that Husk was right about Mimzy and i really love this thought. I think Alastor also likes Husk's presence at some degree. Maybe they could build something healtier, maybe Alastor, after losing part of his powers, would listen to Husk more. But still it's all fucked up while Alastor owns his soul.
And also, i'd really love to see something of just Alastor, Husk and Niffty getting into some shenanigans together, this would be so much fun. Al and Niff who are just 2 unhinged gremlins and Husk who's done with their shit, but still cares about them and can't just leave, and it's not because of the deal. Like i imagine when husk is trying to reason with Alastor that he's about do something stupid and dangerous and Alastor's like well i don't force you to follow us this time, but Husk still goes with them because who else would watch after these two idiots?
So i think, i get your point about them!
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sun-stricken · 9 months ago
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Some ideas for you! Take your pick!
Gray frequents the infirmary the most. In one of my ideas lately, after thinking about iced shell, maybe ice make makes the body a bit more…prone to cracking? Maybe he bruises easy and gets a lot of head wounds. It’s why he’s always in bandages longer. I like the idea of Porlyusica getting sick of him.
Team Natsu/the guild/slayers taking care of him, even when he doesn’t realise it. (Against pervs, against himself, maybe people are a bit racist (with him being not from Fiore).
Gray gets sad sometimes and dissociates.
Gray has night terrors so he has sleeping pills, but on missions he also has caffeine tablets to keep him awake so he doesn’t have terrors around them. Safe to say, they aren’t happy when they find this.
Lucy asks Gray about where he’s from, traditions etc, and the guild realises he might be homesick so they secretly try to learn things for him. (Over the years they’ve picked up swear words (Gray doesn’t realise he’s doing it and they’ve never told him))
Gray’s actually quite touch starved. His body temperature is cold so most people stay away/ don’t touch him (but don’t realise they’re doing it). The only one who can stand is Natsu because of his magic. Maybe it gets worse after becoming a slayer.
…also do you take spicy requests?
you cant just give me all these amazing concepts and tell me to pick☹️ i will do a little for all of them if it kills me
Also yes! i absolutely do take nsfw requests! feel free to ask me anything! im surprised it took so long to ask me that tbh
there is a lot here so vv
1.
* Hes the single reason why the guild infirmary is always having to restock
* Due to Grays multiple usages of iced shell some of his body did turn to ice, most sections of his bones, it looks like a normal bones but it acts like ice, which means hes more likely to break a bone
* unfortunately, its not like a normal broken bone for obvious reasons. itll splinter and have hairline cracks all over the bones before it breaks.
* It takes less time to heal than a normal break, he just has to get it wrapped and limit his usage of his magic so it can ‘heal’ (as in, ice it over again) the breaks and cracks. It takes less time to heal and also less pressure to break, win lose situation tbh
* Which is also why head wounds are especially dangerous for him, skull fractures are more common for him than anyone would like, which is to say any at all
* His external body temperature is low and causes him to bruise like a peach, getting a friendly slap on the back can cause him to bruise for weeks, especially from Erza
* bro hasnt gone a day without a bruise in like ten years
* Hes been dragged to Porlyusica so many times now that anytime she sees him (on the field, in her office, even completely out of context and hes not visibly injured) its like second nature to check him out first
* if she could go a month, or even just two weeks! without seeing him she might consider changing her views on humanity (probably not but its the thought that counts)
* Also Gray has small sections of what people think is frostbite on his hands and feet. It doesnt hurt or limit him at all but theyre there, showed up some time post devil slayer magic
* ALSO! His blood runs slower and is darker due to his low body temperature, causes him only the vaguest of problems but its a thing (this is common in most powerful ice wizards)
2.
* Gray likes to pretend hes good at taking care of himself, but hes not hes really not
* Luckily he has a lot of nosy and protective friends thatll do it for him (in their own ways)
* Natsu literally temperature exploding some guys glass at a bar when he got wayyyy too friendly and handsy with Gray
* they were kicked out but he was really proud of himself
* Rogue drawing shadows towards Gray if he needs to sleep and its too bright, or Sting creating a warm light beam when its dark out and Gray wants to embrace his inner cat and sleep in a sunbeam
* Wendy checking him over first bc she knows hes one of the people who wouldnt ask for help if he was injured
* hes had multiple people physically remove him from fights/training sessions because he was visibly pushing himself way too hard
* Part of the reason Gray learned Fioren so fast was because he was sick of people looking at him like he was stupid for not speaking ‘right’
* he mentioned this to the little slayer group they got goin on and from then on out they were like, hella hyper vigilant with anything that could make him insecure like that again
3.
* It really scared him the first couple times he did it, it still does. He hates losing time
* It started happening during his time with Ur, he cant remember a lot of it, training, blink, fighting, blink, training, blink, training, you get the idea
* It doesnt happen often, and he tried not to think of it past the point of trying to get it to stop
* Its happens often when hes highly stressed but theres no immediate physical threat, his brain doesnt understand whats going on or why its so stressed but knows he doesnt need to physically protect himself yet so it mentally protects him (if that makes sense), usually when hes alone, or when a threat is gone
* he confided in Erza about this once, and now more times than not when he ‘wakes up’ shes there talking to him
* only part he feels is good about it is that it makes him exhausted and lets him sleep easier
* He doesn’t usually dissociate often, not that he has much of a choice, if he did it wouldnt happen at all, but it was a lot worse when he was younger, his memories of early fairy tail are all blurry and he felt like he was on autopilot even when he was ‘awake’
* he hates it
4.
* After his team found out abt his vast array of pharmaceuticals they were so confused and concerned and probably borderline paranoid, because who needs that many medications for one person??
* Gray had been taking sleeping pills at a high enough dose to let him have a dreamless sleep for so long that most over the counter brands dont actually work on him
* but he kept all the old bottle that didnt work just in case he got desperate to sleep and they suddenly magically worked again
* The caffeine tablets were self explanatory after seeing all the sleeping meds, but he also (unwillingly) admitted he takes them on missions so he wouldnt wake them if he had a nightmare, and also for days when they were especially bad so he could go long enough without sleep hed just crash and sleep with no issues. Canr have a nightmare if you dont sleep
* His team was also extremely unimpressed by these explanations
* Erza and Natsu (and also Happy) strong armed him into going to Porlyusica for actual helpful solutions since he refused to go to his actual doctor
* While Lucy and Wendy disposed of the full fucking pharmacy (seriously, he coulda started a business or smth) he had in his bedroom
* For some odd reason he felt lighter and less moody when he was on actual helpful medication and was getting genuine rest
* how strange
* and if his team checks his house for another pharmacy in the making thats nobodies business but theirs
* Also Erza tried to ban Gray from caffeine while on a quest , or at least limit it, but he looked at her like she was absolutely batshit crazy to the point she got embarrassed and had to retract the ban
* But she will tie him to the bed to make him sleep on quests if she has to
5.
* The first time Lucy asked where Gray was from was before Galuna, he ended up giving her a shady answer and redirecting the question to her (reminder, before galuna, before phantom lord) which she ended up also being a bit cagey about so she let it go
* But Lucy is nosy (endearing) by nature, so she asked if he had any different holiday type traditions sometime after Galuna, and to the surprise of, well, literally everyone, he did and gave examples
* which lead down a rabbit hole of the guild fretting a bit abt how to make him comfortable (even though hed been with them for a decade) bc he mentioned he used to be really homesick the first couple years, and sometimes still is
* Most the guild still had no clue where he was from so they were really just running in circles for awhile
* Levy tried to figure it out from the time he accidentally dropped, what she assumed to be colorful curse words, random foreign language bits
* didnt really work but she tried
* so for months he was bombarded with ‘subtle’ questions about his hometown and its culture, which got shut down most the time
* Thats not to say he didnt give them anything, he gave them enough that they were incorporated into existing traditions and holidays they already celebrated
* it was a very sweet gesture that Gray absolutely did not tear up at, so shut up—
6.
* Gray is the most touch starved fool on the planet. ive always loved the idea of him liking touch a lot
* He grew up in a pretty affectionate family, his parents were always around to ruffle his hair, or hug, or hold his hand, or carry him, they were just very physically affectionate and he enjoyed it
* With it made him nauseous, guilty really, because Ur and Lyon were also physically affectionate but it wasnt them, it wasnt his family
* Also it was plain uncomfortable at times, part of learning ice magic was to almost numb himself to cold, but in the beginning numbed him to everything and it became uncomfortable to be touched because it was tingly and it hurt
* Early Fairy Tail he was completely closed off, couldnt stand being touched, didnt want to get cozy and make friends because he planned to leave anyways.
* Ice mages (Fire mages also) temperatures can fluctuate depending on how they feel, for example, if they’re experiencing negative emotions their temperature and the space around them will get colder
* and Gray used to be so angry and upset all the time, and hed just beginning to learn magic so he didnt know how to fix it yet, which caused a lot of discomfort for people.
* People didnt stay around him long because the discomfort of being too cold, and what was he gonna do about it? ask them to come back?? hell no
* So he gained a reputation and people didnt want to disrespect a volatile childs apparent boundaries so they didnt question it
* He was fine with fighting being the only real prolonged touch hed get, totally
* But Natsus got this thing about him that makes him think he can do the impossible, which includes shaking Grays world view and comfort levels
* At some point in their teens Natsu would not let go of the alleged fact that Grays didnt like being touched for some reason, so he did what he does best and pressed the issue
* it ended with Gray being a puddle in his lap while he had a crisis about everything he thought he knew about himself while Natsu celebrated his victory against him
* Its not completely public knowledge but the guild most definitely knows at least a little about how much Gray is touch starved
* he doesnt openly welcome it with open arms but if its happening and he trusts the person hes not gonna say no
* he probably gets a euphoria high from a head pat or smth
* After getting his devil slayer magic is absolutely got worse, having two powerful ice magics, one of which he was still struggling to get the hang of, in one body made it difficult to control the temperature around him, and after long enough people would start shivering if he wasnt careful
* it sucked, totally and completely sucked
* Natsu still remained unbothered and would increase his own temperature to counterbalance Grays, which helped a lot
* he still gets all up in Grays space no matter how much Gray tell him to fuck off, he knows he needs it
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majorasnightmare · 19 days ago
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thinking about isobel and ketheric, and my durge and ketheric, and isobel and my durge
like ketheric whos entire personality is centered around being a failed father, dirge who lives solely and exclusively for a father who does not love him, isobel being horribly violated for the sake of fatherly love in the name of a person shell never be again like excuse me this trio of people makes me go insane
ketheric and dirge like!! zealot recognizes zealot, ketheric knows what its like to be devoted wholeheartedly to a god who will discard you and thats explicitly why he has a businesslike relationship with myrkul, who KNOWSSS ketherics heart isnt in it but doesnt care, ketheric who never fully believed in the absolute plan but carried it out nonetheless, ketheric who nonsensically traded the death of the world for his daughters life, who in reality most likely traded his afterlife for isobels life, knowingly condemning himself to never see melodia again, to an eternity of torture at myrkuls hands, just so isobel can breathe again. dirge knowing with perfect clarity his own father would never do that for him. ketheric knowing that kind of hopeless devotion and willful blind ignorance leads to a kind of iron will that makes dirge genuinely dangerous but pitying the poor fool nonetheless because despite dirges clear intelligence and skill, despite his overwhelmingly obvious power, hes shackled to a self destructive idiot whod bite off his own arm just to spite the world who couldnt give a single fuck about dirges mental state or how that affects achieving bhaals OWN goals and fulfilling his OWN desires, because ketheric understands perfectly well a god will be stupid and selfish first and reasonable and measured second. dirge hating ketheric not just for being a wishywashy traitor who cant settle on something to be devoted to, but because ketheric has the shit figured out. its a zero sum game. theres no winning, only different types of losers, and embracing that truth means acknowledging his entire life has been a pointless self destructive waste that will never give him the satisfaction and actualization dirge craves, so its easier and more stable to just interpret ketheric as a coward. except hes going to kill himself for isobel. going to go through hell for her. theres a level of devotion and love and care there that dirge has only experienced once in his life and the memory of it is enough to drive him to madness, but despite it all ketheric IS competent. is level and measured and powerful and capable of looking past his own self interest to the far horizon of victory, is tactical and clever and willing to wade into the fray. so dirge hates, and admires, and envies, and pities, and reflexively seeks out and avoids ketheric in equal measure. wants to carve him up until he finally breaks, screaming for a god that wont hear him as just rewards for his insolence (because dirges loyalty will SURELY be rewarded, loyalty to his god and to his father, certainly), cant stand the idea of working alongside anyone else, hates being around him but hates doing things without him, falling into old habits of depravity just to get away from the cacophany of emotion and the introspection it tries to trigger.
and then ketheric is doing all of this for someone who doesnt really exist. the isobel he wants to revive isnt real. its a version of her thats stripped hollow of the things that make her, HER. he wants an isobel that doesnt love aylin, he wants an isobel that is content to remain in place and be protected by him, where he was the center of her world. he wants an isobel that hasnt existed for over a century. he wants an isobel like he remembers thinking of the days before melodia died. its why despite everything he gives up for her, if ketheric gets his hands on isobel he tadpoles her. the tadpoles are just a convenient tool for cutting away the unnecessary parts of a person, things they dont need and wont want afterwards. isobel mourns the father she had after her mother died, but ketheric wants the isobel she used to be when melodia was still present in their lives. the isobel after melodia died eventually left him for aylin. grew up and became a person outside of their small family and community. had interests and desires and goals that took her away from him. she doesnt need aylin, doesnt need anything besides family. thats whats important, thats whats worth ruining lives over. everything after isobel was just a failed copy, not even worth reminiscing over. everyone beyond isobel doesnt matter. desecrate the family tomb, abuse your son, drag your aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters out from the grave just to see if it works, if it sticks, because the whole world revolves around a little girl who stopped existing long before she died, because she became someone else someone new and left you floundering alone. youll get them back even if it means you burn in hell forever, those few precious moments are worth it, itll all be worth it, its already worth it. kill yourself kill the world because the only god worth dying for is the one found in between poorly scratched letters on a paper rotting from age that say "love you papa, -I T". live every day with the smoke and the rot knowing that your father loved you so much he cant even look at who you are now. live every day knowing its a gift you cant return to a man who doesnt see you, knowing that all youll ever have are ghosts that seek to hollow you out and play pretend with the shell. hes awful. hes horrible. hes a monster. hes your dad and he loves you so much its killing you. will kill you. has killed you. has killed everything you could ever want in your life. hes your dad. he read you stories when you were small. kept you from falling apart when your mother died. your rock in stormy seas. he wants to read you another story. its dark outside. its scary. this story has a happy ending. its just for you. the girl in the picture book has your name but doesnt look like you at all. its written in silver blood. theres an ache that wont leave, a rot that refuses to mend, a scar that wont close, and its all for love
thinking about dirge being the one to drag isobel from her coffin, to bring her back for the sake of sealing a pact that will end the world, going against his entire religion the whole reason for his existence just for the sake of fulfilling his own fathers dreams. children living at the behest of their parents, denied death for their fathers selfish whims. isobel autopsied and opened, layers peeled back. gortash and ketheric never exhumed a body, never prepared it for the grave, never made such an intimate study of death. gortash unwilling to bloody himself unnecessarily, ketheric unwilling to look past the deathmask to see isobels interior, so its dirge, it has to be him, the only one willing to bite down his own desires for the greater good. an unforgivable violation of autonomy, but the only one who thinks of it as such is the scion of the murder god. she cant consent. she cant choose to be apart of this, to sacrifice herself for a cause greater than herself. he has to inflict this upon her. life is suffering and madness and delusion. death is peace, and he is the holy vessel of transition from one state to the other. this? this is blasphemy. she has already fled this horrid blighted world for a better one, and here he is participating in blasphemous ritual. its for the sake of their plan, its for the sake of enacting his fathers dreams (as all children know, you are naught but a vessel to achieve the goals they could not in their time), but she cannot even take glory in the knowledge of her sacrifice, cannot even know she is a sacrifice until its too late to go back. carves open and peels back the picturesque skin, preserved by gloom and arid darkness and sealed stone to keep away the rot. peeling away the mask of Isobel Thorm to see the visceral rotting insides of a person ketheric cant stand to see.
clearing away the ruin and decay so something new can take its place. corpses are objects fled of souls, no longer a person, no longer anything and thus free to toy and play with as boredom and curiosity desires, but this is not a thing. this will again be a person, a vessel to trap someone inside of, to force them to suffer and persist and delude and live and he cant even ask if shell do it. do it to help him break the world and put an end to this madness forever. cant convince her of the rightousness of it, the necessity of it, cant help but use her for it. to gortash she is a token exchanged for power, to ketheric she is a snapshot of a better world he wants to go back to, but only here on this dirty bloodstained table with a bhaalspawn elbow deep in her organs is she a person, whos autonomy and personhood is being irrevocably violated. his nature is to free them of these shackles, to snip the cords and revel in the ensuing destruction, and here he is binding her again. the humiliation, the horror, of being set loose from this hellscape only to be brought back. to be dragged, kicking and screaming, back into living. to be subject to such awful blasphemy. here in the dark and the quiet where there is no voice to speak back to him, when there is no rushing blood or beating hearts to call forth his purpose, there and then does armageddons prophet desire forgiveness, only in this shadowed purgatory can someone truly see. when all the world lies dead at my feet, i will beg forgiveness from no one but you. lamb on the altar, holy blood, if such desecration was not necessary for the cleansing of suffering, i would never deign to subject you to it. to you alone do i tender my apologies, my blessed father may forgive this sin in light of the retribution it will call forth, but cruel fate has chosen you without your knowledge to bear this disgusting violation, and the only salve i can offer is that, gods willing, you will not suffer long. to live in a world that could give rise to something like me is a torture i would not wish upon anyone, and for the sake of my father i inflict it upon you nonetheless. when you rise, my only thoughts will be of murder, holy and pure. but here in the dark, when you are at peace and i am not, i think of you, and what youd want, and how no one would ever, COULD ever, ask for what i do to you here. here in the quiet i breathlessly whisper a prayer meant only for your ears, a second sin i cannot stop myself from committing, here where you cannot hear me but God surely can, a wish that i will surely pay for dearly, a punishment i endure willingly and without complaint, a smallest fraction of the torment i knowingly inflict upon you. i live, and soon so shall you, and for that, i will never know peace.
im so sorry. i did it for love
#bg3 durge#bg3#bg3 dark urge#bg3 isobel#bg3 ketheric#ketheric thorm#isobel thorm#dirgecore#dirgeposting#like just for the record this is my particular durge but AUGHHHHHHH#dirge being the only person who routinely and regularly thinks about isobel as a person instead of as a symbol#dirge who consistently chooses her at every crossroads even when it hurts him#isobel who gets a second chance at life twice over because of him#dirge sacrificing his religious beliefs (literally the ONLY thing he lives for) to participate in bringing isobel back#dirge fighting off the urge (which makes him attack his loved ones!!!) because he refuses to hurt her#dirge making an enemy of shar because he wont let shadowheart become a gods pawn and he wont sacrifice aylin for the conditional love of go#isobel who didnt want to die. didnt know how to live after reviving. getting her life AND a reason to live back because of dirge#who lost everything because of the domino effects of those choices#who got his own second chance because of those choices#like it really is just that quiet moment where neither of them can talk to the other#because shes dead and he isnt#and then they BOTH get new lives free of their fathers because of it#LIKE AUGHHHHHHH IM SO FUCKING NORMALLLL#ITS SEEING EACH OTHER WHEN NO ONE ELSE WILL!!!#in that silent tomb. ''your a person. i see you even if your father doesnt''.#and then AGAIN back to him in last light!!! ''your a person. i see you even if your father doesnt'' LIKE!!!!#ARE YOU PEOPLE SEEING THIS!!!!
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[Image IDs: Image #1: Tweet from cuntry roads or whatever john denver said (@/ hairMetals) on Oct 15 reading; ao3 getting millions of dollars almost every year in donations but as a fic author you cant even mention needing money in the end notes of your own fic because ao3 will ban you swiftly for that . cant even have a button thats like hey if you liked my works pls consider just $1.
Quote tweet from em (@/ brosnyaa) on Oct 17, 2022 reading: I see the "AO3 should let us make money" takes are gong around again, so as a copyright attorney, I'd like to again provide some information about fanfiction and fair use.
Image #2: Reply from Pleb (@/ SolmUnable) on 10/18/22 reading: Wait so these twitter writers that made us pay goals for the next chapter of fanfic is doing something illegal??
Reply from abby (@/ andAWasp) on 10/18/22 reading: for a story they're using another author's characters for? technically yes. /End IDs]
Plain text: (key smash) Twitter writers did what now? And people paid them?
[Image IDs: Images #3-8: Series of tweets from em (@/ brosnyaa) on Oct 17, 2022 reading: In the US, the reason we can create fanworks without getting sued is the fair use doctrine. A lot of you are probably familiar with this - it allows us to use existing IP in limited contexts (i.e., when the work is "transformative")
What most people don't know about fair use is that it's an affirmative defense. An affirmative defense is used when you Did violate the law, but the law provides exceptions where that's okay.
All fanworks are infringing by default. When you invoke the fair use defense, you're saying, "Yes, I did infringe on this copyright, but it's okay because x, y, and z."
I think this is something a lot of authors and artists don't realize.
When you write fanfiction or draw fanart, you are engaging with someone else's copyrighted work. You're allowed to do this, but you have to understand that you're doing it with certain rules that need to be followed.
Two of the big factors in determining whether you can use the fair use defense are:
whether you were paid
how much of the original work you used
The 1ist is obvious. It's Huge.
The 2nd is, unfortunately, why fanart is generally more acceptable than fanfic when it comes to copyright. Fanart captures a single moment while fanfic uses characters, settings, themes, etc. It's more drawn out.S
So saying "but fanArtists make money!" doesn't work. The analysis is completely different - fair use is a balancing test, and writing v. art tips the scale in different directions.
Do I agree with this? No. FanWriters should be able to make money! But that's how the law is.
Back to the 1st factor. There are a lot of creators who are fine with fanworks now, but they're Only fine with it because fanfic is free. If that changes, we would most likely see more lawsuits.
As a non-profit, AO3 is able to face the world and say "all our fanfic is free."
Their policy is in place so that they're able, in good faith, to certify that all of the fanfiction on their site is unpaid. It's a Massive boost for the fair use defense. It means that if anyone sues the site or an author on the site, they'll have a much harder time of winning.
I won't tell you not to include ko-fi in your twitter bios or to tweet fanfic links with tip jars, I just want everyone to understand why AO3 has this policy.
Because heres one other thing more people could understand: lawsuits are Expensive. Especially copyright suits.
It's really a gray area what's allowed and what isn't in terms of fanworks, but the point is, if someone sues you and you win, it could still cost you A Lot Of Money.
What AO3 is doing isn't only to protect you legally, it's to make sure that no one even Tries to sue you. So yes, they are being more cautious than the law necessarily requires, but in this case, caution is a very good thing. /End IDs]
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The rest of the thread is here.
tl;dr: Don’t monetize AO3, kids.  You won’t like what happens next.
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thatweirdguyinthebushes · 2 years ago
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cant answer the ask for some reason so here is the screenshot of it and my reply beneath
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[alt text: anonymous asked: Hey, I hope you’re having a good day. I was wondering if you had any thoughts on cpawnduo(i’ve also seen them be called fireflyduo)? I think they’re surprisingly similar in the way they think but they have fundamental differences. They have an interesting dynamic but I don’t see them talked about too often. end alt text.] c!firefly duo is a horrible name im filled with rage everytime i hear it anyways yes c!dream and c!tubbo live in my head rent free and youre right they have a surprising amount of similarities that people dont talk about enough. theyre both the logical, quieter type, obviously, but also they have very similar ideas on things like attachment and morality. in the exile of tommy, tubbo makes two comments on attachment: "They're just music discs. They shouldn't get to dictate the future of an entire nation!" and "The discs don't matter, Tommy! How can you not see that?" He doesn't understand Tommy's attachment to items or things that have, in Tubbo's view, no meaning in anything but the abstract, which isn't something he places much value on. It's unclear how much of this view is something more deeply rooted or in his nature and how much is a response to losing his homes and possessions so often. But either way, it is the most fundamental difference between him and Tommy, besides the obvious "head vs heart" thing they have going on. Dream makes a similar and much more well known speech in the vault of attachments, where he informs Tommy that, having realised attachments were the thing that not only controlled Tommy's actions, but the actions of everyone on the server, he deliberately destroyed the things he was attached to and cut ties with all of his friends. This is obviously similar to what has happened to Tubbo, although in Tubbo's case it was due to outside forces acting upon him and in Dream's case it was deliberate. You can even draw the conclusion that maybe part of Dream's motivation for cutting away his attachments was seeing that it had made Tubbo a slightly more effective leader, even if he wasn't quite good enough at it to be a 'good' one, although I acknowledge that's a bit of a stretch, considering how lowly Dream thought of Tubbo. In the same stream, Dream mentions that "evil is in the eye of the beholder... you're evil to me." This demonstrates Dream's idea that there is no real good or evil, that moral conviction itself is more of a story telling device -- that only the naive (like Tommy and Wilbur) think it's real. Considering how much he makes references to story telling devices/tropes in his monologues, I don't think this is that much of a stretch. Tubbo has similar ideas about good and evil. After their talk with Quackity at the outpost, Ranboo asks his husband if he thinks they're doing something bad, and adds on "am I a bad person because of that?". Tubbo responds with "Right and wrong isn't really a fair way to describe things. Right and wrong depends on which side you're on." The main difference between them, I think, is that Tubbo's lack of attachment to things is mostly about things without practical use. He doesn't understand sentimentality (or, if we're being honest, empathy) very well. But he still undoubtedly has an attachment to people, and although the way he expresses that care is often muted and lacking and not enough, he still does feel it, and makes that clear in the ways that he can, which normally involve rescue missions, a willingness to put his life on the line, and other grand gestures that keep him from having to directly say i love you to anyone. His ultimate goal, even with his lack of real scruples or attachment, is still to look out for and protect the people he cares about. Dream, on the other hand, has cut his attachments deliberately, which includes his attachment and care for the people around him. He deliberately cuts George and Sapnap out of his life, blows up his house, gets rid of anything that doesnt have strictly practical use. His ultimate goal is to have control over other people, as he says in the vault of attachment. If he holds all of their treasured things, and keeps the one thing he could be threatened with (Tommy) locked in prison, then he has complete power. It's even a little pet theory of mine that the reason he immediately resorts to murdering Tubbo is not just for the reasons he states, but because Tubbo, similar to him, doesn't have any physical attachments, and has proven to be willing to give up even his closest ones, like his friends, if he thinks it's for the greater good, but thats a sidenote. TLDR: c!Pawnduo are incredibly fascinating and I wish more people talked about them more, essentially, especially in regards to how similar they are (although it's a comparison that they would both hate to hear).
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zvnphoria · 3 years ago
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- how being koko’s best friend would be like
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a/n - had too much fun with this. THIS IS VERY LONG UM. this is an apology for being inactive.
contains - fluff, teeny bit of angst, just platonic because YEAH, fem!reader, implied strong reader, reader has mommy issues (definitely not projecting), reader had a friendship with akane and looked up to her like an older sister
you and hajime go way back since you were kids. you two met in an interesting way but not necessarily in a good one.
you were walking to the nearest park to get out of your crazy house because your mom kept screaming at you over the littlest thing again. you forgot to wash the dishes (you didn’t necessarily forget that’s for sure). you stopped once you saw a boy around your age getting beaten up by some older kids. his hand gripped tightly on what looked like a school bag and protected it like his life depended on it.
it didn’t matter anymore because you had just knocked out both of the bullies in no time without a thought— almost as if it was normal to you. when you looked at the boy, he had blood going down from his forehead to his cheek, heavily panting and on the verge of passing out. he’s not the fighting type, huh. luckily you had a towel wrapped around your neck since you had just gotten out of the shower when you walked out your house, you weren’t gonna spend much time at the park anyways
you kneeled down and wiped the dripping blood off his face and noticed a bigger figure running towards you both. it was.. a girl?
“hajime-kun! what happened here?!” she panicked as she checked your surroundings
“akane-san.. it’s no big deal i promise..”
“no big deal?! i knew something was up when you rushed the other way. and my bag also happened to be missing! why didn’t you ask for help? you don’t need to be independent all the time.”
“and you,” she began, making eye contact with you
“are you okay? are you hurt?”
“no no! i’m fine don’t worry.”
“she was actually the one who knocked them out, akane-san,”
the older girl looked at the unconscious bullies, then back at you with shock and amazement in her eyes
“you did this? that’s amazing!” she says as she quickly takes your hands and wraps it around hers
“uh.. yes i promise it’s really not a big deal. i’ve dealt through worse, trust me,” you say as you gaze at the direction of your house
“worse or not this is still definitely something! even i cant beat someone up, and i’m way older than you!” she chuckled
“well it’s not like you have the heart to do something like that, akane-san,” the boy comments
“hahah you’re right, you’re right. anyways we should get going now— the sun is gonna set very soon, and you should get home as well. is your house nearby? we can walk you if you’d like,”
even ‘til this day you still don’t know why you didn’t decline her offer. was it because she was nice? it didn’t matter anymore, because if you had declined, you wouldn’t get to meet such amazing people.
it’s been a few months after meeting hajime and akane, and you had also met akane’s younger brother who was your age— seishu! you four would often hang out, whether it was at the inui home or at hajime’s house. getting to know them was pretty fun, and very interesting because a certain someone had a crush on akane.
it was definitely not seishu because they’re siblings and that’s just weird, definitely not you because akane had reminded you of your older sister who was almost never in your life, so that only left one choice— hajime.
his crush on her was so painfully obvious that you couldn’t stand seeing him try to impress her every now and then. he even ditched his glasses and bought contacts just for her to compliment him! he’s whipped huh..
one day you decided to help him out a little with his crush. it was another day of your usual hang outs except this time it was at your local mall! akane’s birthday was coming up and you three had collectively agreed to take her to the mall and see if she would see anything she’d like. turns out she was eyeing some platforms with red on the bottoms, and you took notice.
seishu dragged her to go to the food court with him because he was “hungry” so you and hajime took the chance to buy the heels. you were both now at the cash register, waiting for the register person
“i don’t understand you,” you began
“i don’t understand why you like her so much. i mean— i get that’s she’s amazing and nice and pretty and all but.. there’s another reason why you like her. something must’ve happened for you to be so attached to her so what is it?” you meant no harm with this question whatsoever. you were simply curious and that’s all.
before he answered, he smiled to himself and looked back at you
“she’s the only one that makes me feel not under pressure all the time. she’s the one who constantly reminds me that i shouldn’t be so independent and that i should always ask for help.” as you took a breath in to reply, he stopped you
“before you say anything, i know. i know she doesn’t like me. i know she’s just being nice. but there’s nothing wrong with a one-sided crush right?” he grins
even though he was beaming with a smile in front of you, you knew. you knew this wasn’t how he truly felt. you knew that deep down he was hurt but it was understandable. after all, he was just a kid wasn’t he? you saw right through him.
it was a shame after what happened the next couple of weeks after that conversation. it all happened so fast and none of you were prepared for it. you weren’t prepared for the incident that had happened to akane. a few days before it occurred, koko proudly told you that he was planning to confess and you were way against it.
“huh?! but i need to get this off my chest, y/n! i don’t care if she rejects me or not!”
“haji, i have a bad feeling about this.. i’m serious. you know how i always get bad feelings and they turn out to be true!”
he groaned and scooted far from where he was originally sitting which was right next to you. you sigh and got up to sit down next to him and laid your head on his shoulder so he wouldn’t escape
“i just don’t want you to get your hopes up, that’s all.” deep down you knew the truth. akane wasn’t interested in boys one bit despite all the confessions she had received almost every week.
“fine. you have a point. but im still going with this,”
all you could do was do nothing but let him. oh how you wished you protested more, because in return all he got was a huge burden on his shoulders.
“please ma’am, just please tell me what room akane inui and seishu inui are in,” you shouted as tears were rolling down on your cheeks. “107, right down the hall and take a left ‘hon”
you bowed and quickly made your way into the room. as you burst the door open, your eyes immediately go on seishu who looked so sad to the point where he didn’t even bother to look up at you. you hug him with a feeling of relief flowing in your body, but soon that feeling was gone when you asked where akane was.
you stood outside the door, not knowing why your feet couldn’t move. what’s wrong, y/n? her voice rang your ears. go on, don’t worry i’ll be right here next to you and if you get scared, just hold my hand! right. that was the time you were at a “haunted” house together and you were scared to go in. why are you being reminded of this right now?
you gulped and slowly opened the doorknob and found a crying boy in front of you, hands grabbing on the sheets with his head on the edge of the bed. you couldn’t do anything. all you could do was sit next to him with your head resting on his shoulder while you were crying.
a few years after that, you both acted as if nothing had happened. not because you wanted to forget akane, but because you knew akane would’ve wanted you both to continue living on without her.
despite not dating, you two would always have couple tendencies like feeding food to eachother or hugging often but you’re just THAT close to the point you can probably kiss without feeling any romantic attraction whatsoever
you couldn’t hang out with him as much anymore because of all the gang related things he’s doing. to make it up to you, he knocks on your window late at night and sleeps over most of the time. you talk to him about the usual— have you been eating? you should get more rest. and so on.
you were the one who got him to start wearing eyeliner! at first he just looked at you with a confused face when you handed him it as his present, but then you explained that if he wants to go fully dedicated to the black dragons, the wings of the eyeliner would represent the wings of the dragon. he didn’t wear it at first, all he did was ruffle your hair and said he’d think about it— and he kept his word! so now he’s the iconic money-making genius that wears eyeliner.
after all that’s happened between you two, there isn’t a single awkward moment you share. you know those friends who bring up an adult related topic out of completely nowhere? you two were those friends.
“i was walking by an alley and i heard a girl getting fucked,” he says while chewing the piece of gum you handed to him
“..and??”
“i’ve never walked away so fast in my life.”
there are days where you’re sad but, of course, you don’t tell him. in fact you don’t need to tell him because he’ll know when you’re upset.
“so are ya gonna tell me what’s wrong?” he says as he rests his head on your thighs
“ugh how do you always know..”
“because we’ve been together for the longest, duh.”
he doesn’t show it much, but he cares for you more than you think he does. overprotective and can’t help but show it at times, but don’t worry! he’s doing it because he loves you. remembers the littlest things you talk about and are interested in. he’s also constantly on the lookout so that you don’t get hurt or even worse.
when he’s the one who’s upset, you immediately know. he’s quieter than usual, zoning out a lot and just not paying attention to what you’re saying to him, almost like he’s in his own little world. before you initiate a conversation, you play with his hair so he’ll feel comfortable as a way for you to convince him to tell you what’s wrong.
even though it happened such a long time ago, he still thinks about her. you cant blame him, you do too! if you were to describe your best friend with one sentence, the first thing that would pop up in your head was weak little boy. not weak as in physically weak, but weak as in mentally weak. he can’t help but get emotional when it comes to her, which is understandable.
“it’s not your fault, hajime. she left you with no proper closure, and now you’re carrying guilt and burden on your shoulders. anyone would feel the same or even worse in your position.”
he didn’t respond but he doesn’t need to. all that matters to him is that you’re next to him, comforting him with your kind words like you always do. you both have some differences which caused a few arguments, but in the end you would still be best friends.
speaking of arguments, you argue either over the dumbest things ever or over serious topics. one time you got mad at him because he was beating you in a video game and his smug expression was not helping at all. you kicked him out of your house because you were just THAT frustrated. you felt guilty so you decided to walk to his house and apologize but stopped once you saw a certain figure trying to climb up to your window.
in the start of the serious argument, it was completely something different than what you were yelling at each other about now.
he showed up at your house with your favorite boba and snacks. you demanded him to put those down.
“hajime. food— no. MONEY cant keep me happy forever, and that also applies to you!”
“then what else am i supposed to do?!” his voice started getting weak. he was never the type to argue because he’d always get emotional.
“what am i other than a money-making genius? other than a wallet?”
“i cant do anything about my situation, y/n. nothing. because that’s all i am. just a stupid wallet for everyone to use.” he says about to walk away until you grab his sleeve to stop him.
“that’s not even true. you’re so much more than that, hajime. i’m sorry.. i’m so sorry.” you were crying into his chest and he couldn’t help but cry with you.
he spoils you 100%, no doubt. there was a point in life where you would always decline but you had just gotten so used to the offer that you got tired of fighting back. i mean, how could you? he was so willing and eager and most importantly HAPPY to do this for you.
hajime cant drive motorcycles and you constantly tease him about it, which he just responds to you by squeezing your cheeks together so you could shut up. the bad thing about this is that you guys always have to walk or go on a bus to the specific place you’re going to which is pretty tiring at times. although that doesn’t matter because what matters is that you both have each other.
back to the overprotective part.. you got called by this boy to meet him at the rooftop by the end of school and you already knew what was about to go down because of your shoujo manga reading sessions. the first thing you did was call hajime and he immediately got there to warn you about what you were gonna get yourself into.
“don’t you already have someone you like??”
“uh.. no?”
“i couldve sworn you liked that ‘tora dude..”
“keep your mouth shut!”
“…so you’re gonna reject him right?”
and you did! nicely, of course. hajime advised you should make come off as mean so he wouldn’t bother you again but you just ignored him and pretended like you didn’t hear anything.
being his best friend contains some ups and downs, but that’s the point of true friendships— it’ll never be perfect.
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vrisrezis · 4 years ago
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My mcu favs w/ crush and relationship hcs (pt 2) (not proof read)
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- gonna be honest she’s not familiar with romantic feelings, takes her awhile to even realize what she feels for you
- you make her heart all melty and soft, you make her face heat up, you make her question everything she does
- you make her feel even giddy and overly happy and it kinda annoys her tbh
- she thinks you’re out to get her or something and have casted some spell but when she asks thor he has no idea what she’s talking about until she describes what she’s feeling and he just laughs and thinks she’s joking
- she’s like no. I’m serious ?
- to which thor would tell her what it is, he has a bit of an idea because of Jane
- tbh loving somebody romantically, caring about somebody to this extent scares her
- she’s lost so many people and because of it became a raging alcoholic
- if she lost you she doesn’t know what could happen
- she tries to push you away but quickly realizes she doesn’t like doing that to herself or you
- asks you to go out drinking with her often if you’re up for that
- she’d find it funny how easily you get drunk but has no problem taking care of you, in fact she would probably drink with you more often so she can take care of you because it’s the closest to intimacy she feels she can have with you (no she is not taking advantage of you or anything, it’s more just the thought of taking care of you feels intimate to her)
- also you’re cute while you’re drunk
- trans with you so you can be tougher if you’re not that tough already
- tbh asks thor to do the same with you, whether it be cuz she’s not around or because you need the extra training
- eventually Thor’s at the point where he’s like you gotta tell em and she’s like no 🖕
- but she does eventually
- she’s kinda awkward about it but she tries to sound confident with it ^^
- dating you is very different than just being her friend tbh
- like you might’ve been surprised at her asking you out, even if it’s kinda obvious to anybody that knows her well
- to any stranger you just seemed like friends with a strange rivalry relationship but that’s really not the case
- she’s much more flirty in a relationship, since she’s confident you’re with her for a reason.. she’s not the type to doubt your relationship, you’re with her for a reason
- much more protective in battle though
- she doesn’t say she loves you enough, but she shows it through her actions
- asks thor about the romantic stuff but he has no idea really so she goes to Bruce who kinda has more of a grasp on it
- tries to take you to like normal restaurant dates... kinda awkward since she had no midgardian clothes at that point
- lotsa quick kisses on the cheek or forehead
- likes cuddling as she finds it just.. kinda intimate ?
- still likes to take care of a drunk you
- quick pecks on your lips are very often
- doesn’t like the idea of going on a lot of Thor’s saving the world shits unless you’re on board with it
- thor jokes about how she’s all badass and “I don’t give a fuck about saving the world or anyone else” until it comes to you
- she kicks his ass
- but he’s not wrong
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- when she likes you she’s a bit like wtf
- like she doesn’t realize it for a moment until jane explains it
- before she was her usual talkative self but there was a lot of nervousness and stuttering at times, just unusual awkwardness that made Jane raise a brow
- it makes more sense now
- since she’s aware she likes you now she often asks you to hang out, to help her out, whatever it is
- the gal is clingy af what can she say
- lotsa hugs she loves giving you hugs often does them for a greeting
- just an excuse to hold you though tbh
- at times will get tongue tied
- she tries to flirt but it just makes you confused she’s not good at it you’re not even gonna know she’s flirting
- eventually grows impatient about it and is just like “I LIKE U DUMMY! DATE ME!”
- and now you date
- she gets into things a bit quickly so if it’s too fast tell her, hopefully not a dealbreaker
- dates are often because she’s got a lot of creative ideas for dates ^^
- still hugs you as a greeting but a lot longer and intimate and a kiss follows after
- speaking of kisses she LOVES to kiss you and she does so very often
- very needy
- big cuddler
- just like “CUDDLE ME”
- so demanding
- often talks about you and how much she loves you she can’t help it
- but if anybody did the same she like “shut up nobody cares”
- even with you though she’s blunt, but much nicer about it
- likes going on just good dates, restaurants , picnic, whatever
- she eats all the food
- tries to impress you so she might say she was best friends with thor at a point
- and that she’s helped him out before and .. yeah etc
- she likes buying you clothes tbh
- especially if you don’t dress good let her dress you up pls
- would be sad if you didn’t get along with Jane
- it would be a dealbreaker actually
- she knows she’s a bit much so she feels happy you love her anyways
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- vision of course will not understand his feelings
- he understands you definitely make him feel something, that something being good
- for a moment he might think he feels like this is how best friends feel towards another, or even thinking he sees you in a familial light
- tony quickly tells him that is not the case
- once vision understands what he really feels he’s not sure how to go about it, he can be quite oblivious
- he’s aware of this but still .. what does he do?
- asks tony for advice, he tells him to flirt and see how it goes
- but tbh that doesn’t work, you don’t even realize he’s flirting gonna be honest
- he’s just bad at it
- so he tries to just simply state his affection, that doesn’t work because he doesn’t know how to word it without it sounding platonic, or getting too nervous about going too far
- he doesn’t wanna overstep boundaries
- tony is in pain watching this btw
- tony eventually is just like “he wants to know if you would like to go on a date” “w- I.. yes?”
- in a relationship he is very sweet
- kinda cliche though, since he doesn’t have a concept of romance at all
- looks up a lot of the things he should know about romance he doesn’t want to ask you that
- while he has no problem protecting you, he doesn’t feel the need to be overly protective unless needed
- he’s logical, reasonable, he only gets protective if he has to, even with how he feels towards you
- but do you distract him? Yes absolutely
- he’s okay with living comfortably and normally for once with you, unless it’s something you don’t want or are not ready for
- once you’re conditioned to a certain lifestyle, even if it isn’t a good one it can be uncomfortable to get out of and he understands that
- he loves to kiss you, often initiates kisses or forms of affection
- you were the first to kiss him, it made him so flustered but so happy and now he’s addicted to kissing you
- loves kissing your hands
- if you have any insecurity he will do anything in his power to prove you wrong and that he doesn’t see you in that light
- he understands he has responsibilities but other than that, loves spending his time with you
- he understands you’re a distraction so he tries not to fight with you, he wants to prioritize the people when it comes to this kinda thing
- which you of course understand
- once you teach him what dancing is, his love language is dancing with you
- you two just stay up talking about nothing and everything
- having kids with him isn’t an option, but he isn’t opposed to adopting children
- after all, all he’s ever wanted was to be a normal significant other to you
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- do not have a huge concept on her character so forgive me 🙏
- she can be a bit flirty, not that you mind though right ?
- she just loves spending all her time with you
- probably met you before wandavision
- so you’re probably already together
- even then in wandavision you two were “roommates”
- doesn’t explain all the flirting girl .
- agathas fall would be letting Wanda find out she had a soft spot for you my god
- while she’s all confidence and flirty in general, she’s a bit softer with you
- like she genuinely means the things she says when it comes to you
- eventually asks you to date her, you don’t have much room for dates outside of wandavision
- you two are always together btw
- loves dancing with you
- she has a good grasp on romance so she has no issue with it
- she is full of confidence when it comes down to it tbh
- holds your hand often
- your relationship ain’t official till like the 70s probably
- might joke after wanda has kids that you both should have kids too
- while she’s causing her mischief you back her up to make her look less suspicious
- seriously in the mist of all this she’s grateful for you
- especially when you get her out of the hell that Wanda puts her in once again
- to which she will actually confess she loves you, and cares for you
- you aren’t just like.. some person to date
- she’s not the most vulnerable obviously
- so the fact she finally is.. it’s just a lot
- “idk I just love u a lot hun . Cant I show I love u 😊”
- she’s just so overly sweet with you
- she’s so awful to everyone else at times that she just likes being .. with you and being a softie
- likes you playing with her hair
- she loves a good cuddle
- cute nicknames like hon, or hun, or just teddy bear
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- with a crush quill might try to act overly friendly
- and probably flirts a lot
- he’s very like obvious with the flirting so you’d have to be oblivious not to notice it
- he can be quite protective as well
- like not just in fighting but even with just others like even before dating he’s very jealous
- if he makes a joke you’re always in on it somehow
- he tries for form a close bond with you just cuz he likes you so much
- it’s likely he likes somebody that can easily protect themselves doe
- probably has some dumb handshake with you
- honestly he acts like a close friend to you
- people might mistake you for a sibling like relationship if it weren’t for his flirting and him staring at you like you’re his entire universe
- seriously Sam says Bucky has a staring problem, quill is fucking awful
- it’s constant and rocket is always like “you’re staring”
- and he’s like “nO” and then continues to stare
- has you listen to his favorite music of course
- especially the love songs ;D
- will just dance with you to the music he puts on
- one time you guys are dancing to the music he put on like normal but it’s a slow love song, so hes like let’s so dance bae
- and then he tells you how he feels for u
- now u date <3
- lots of forehead kisses
- cuddle bug absolutely
- still a jealous boyfriend though tbh he will try to seem all tough in front of any man he thinks might be better or something he will do anything to show off
- your relationship doesn’t change just lots of kisses and hugs now and I love yous
- you’re totally the relationship that’s like “I love you more” “nooo I love you more” and the guardians hate y’all so much
- he uses nicknames like hun, honey, love, sweetheart
- let’s just say you slow dance more often, and kiss while doing so ^^
- he flirts with you still but it’s a lot more sweet rather than before where he might’ve just flirted with you in terms of like it being kinda like calling you sexy and shit like that, now it’s more like wow u look beautiful I luv u 😊🙏
- would do anything for you, even if he wouldn’t like it
- doesn’t mean he wouldn’t hesitate tho
- going on separate dates isn’t really an option since you guys fight left and right and are always with the guardians, but he decided every once a couple months you guys go on a date together and have some fun
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- Loki doesn’t get crushes, so this is a new thing for him
- and tbh he doesn’t know how to take it either, especially when he realizes how strong those feelings actually are
- he hates the idea of being vulnerable in general, especially when it comes to you
- over time it just... happens
- but if there’s any indication he likes spending time with you he will try to lie his way through it, he’s a good liar of course so it probably works
- however he shows he at the very least cares about you, he shows a sign of protectiveness when it comes to potential enemies.. enemies that happen to be dangerous for you
- plus he’s around you like constantly and claims he has nobody else to harass
- he claims he doesn’t care about you at all, but even thor can tell through this lie
- the way he looks at you makes it obvious
- the way he doesn’t try to get you involved in his more dangerous schemes
- and if you do, and you get hurt he feels guilty and tries to help you feel better
- he claims he just owes you one for getting you hurt though
- eventually thor bothers him enough to get him to confess feelings, which takes a lot for Loki to even go through with
- he acts confident, even moreso after you say yes, but deep down was extremely nervous
- the male is good at making you feel important, after trying so hard to hide his feelings he is tired of it and just wants to be more honest about how he feels about you
- no issue being vulnerable, he trusts you but sometimes it can be hard
- he goes to you for a lot of his problems, even if you cannot help, just venting and you listening helps
- he was already with you a lot but now there’s no excuses and it’s even moreso
- “what? I just wanted to visit my beautiful s/o” “we literally just saw eachother 5 minutes ago can I please go to bed”
- likes pressing your foreheads together, he finds it sweet
- jealous of thor? Absolutely. Pls comfort him and tell him you’d never leave him for thor
- he’s so used to just not being as good as him, he wants to be good enough for you
- deep down there’s just so many insecurities he has
- so it causes him to worry like all the time
- having a reassuring and patient s/o is so good for him ^^
- flirting becomes a thing in your relationship
- it makes him feel more confident pls give him this
- protective, he feels like he has to be tbh because he never gets anything good in his life and if he does he loses it, he’s scared to lose you too
- if for some reason he can’t see you he makes an illusion of you to talk to
- when he fake dies you’re the first he goes to see so you don’t think he’s dead, he loves you he wouldn’t want to do that to you =(
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- finally
- gonna be honest bucky with a crush is cute
- first of all he smiles at you a lot, Steve is the first to notice how much he smiles around you, it’s the most he smiles like ever
- just has a lot of nice conversations with you about anything and everything
- also whenever you’re around even if other people are around you he’s just like “hey y/n :)”
- heart eyes for you, just can’t help but stare all the time
- he has a staring problem but with you? Yeah 10x over
- Sam always has something to say abt it also
- his idea of flirting with you is really just saying hi to you, just being overly friendly which is noticeable for a guy like Bucky
- eventually would ask you out, he tries to ease into it but he gets a bit impatient
- he was also nervous asking you out but yk
- when dating him he becomes very protective
- one of the most protective bitches on the list tbh
- he gets nightmares about you dying like all the time it breaks him everytime though
- lots of cuddles, whether it be from a rough day, he’s just tired, or had a nightmare
- he likes his hair being brushed by you and played with, even when he cuts it
- he’s scared of killing you and turning into the winter soldier again
- has dreams about when he’s hurt and fought you as the winter soldier, he keeps thinking about if Steve wasn’t there to help, he really could’ve killed you and that terrifies him
- even when you tell him it wasn’t him, he appreciates it but still feels horrible about it
- touch that metal arm, but like gently Yknow . Nobody’s ever touched that arm with such kindness and it makes him soft and feel lucky
- speaking of soft Bucky is very soft, there’s many soft moments with Bucky and vulnerability
- it’s easy to be vulnerable with you but not others
- lots of handholding
- he loves hugging you for long periods of time
- still has a staring problem but now Sam openly makes fun of him
- just big dumb smile on his face as he looks at you
- especially when you’re dealing with kids, seeing you be around them makes his heart warm
- maybe he does wanna be normal, settle down and have kids
- though the thought scares him it is something he desires
- we all know he calls you doll
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spacedlexi · 3 years ago
Note
What are your thoughts on Clem getting a new girlfriend in the graphic novel?
dont talk to me about the comic it doesnt exist
but to honestly answer your question: it pisses me off. for a few reasons:
violet is SUCH a perfectly written match for clem that i cant see either of them with anyone else. i didnt think the writers would Ever be able to write a good love interest for clem esp after s3 but im not kidding when i say violet and her are a perfectly written match. violet is very similar to s3 clem with her trust and abandonment issues, the angry loner who cares but pretends not to to protect themselves from the grief of loss/pain of being left behind, and so they put up walls and push people away. theyre both natural leaders who never wanted that position. loyal. fiercely protective. where javi helped clem learn to trust people again in s3, clem helps violet learn to trust people again in s4. clementine can see herself in violet (the "i know where youre coming from" line), and they help each other. which leads into my second problem with the new comic romance
violet has SEVERE trust and abandonment issues (even more than the other kids who all by default pretty much have trust and abandonment issues), which is obvious even without letting her get taken by the raiders (and is only made that much worse if you do). i cant imagine what it will do to her emotionally to wake up and realize clem is GONE without even SAYING GOODBYE. thats gonna hurt her so bad regardless if you romanced her or not. like clem is their leader now and shes just...leaving?? without telling anyone?? EVEN AJ???? HER ADOPTIVE CHILD??? fuck this stupid ass comic it is SO OUT OF CHARACTER for clem for like a million reasons. like skybound/tillie are saying theyre excited to focus on clems sexuality (which :/) but like to do it theyre really damaging representation that was already THERE and GOOD.
like way to just rip away really nice wlw representation just so you dont have to worry about determinant choices. (violentine is my favorite wlw rep in media theyre just......so nice. so cute but like so natural?? they are so in love and the writing just feels like it really came from the heart like the writers really cared abt their relationship even if it WAS a little rushed but like s4 was rushed in general) every scene they have together just makes me 😳😭😭🥺💕💕💕 no matter how many times i see it
another reason it pisses me off is that like everything else about this comic feels like a cheap rip off of s4!!! like theyre just sweeping s4 under the rug (which imo is the best season) just to rehash it again but BADLY. apparently theres gonna be "evil twins" now theyre REALLY going all in on the s4 rip off
ALSO i just love violet!!! shes a GREAT character. shes funny and mean but meaner than she intends to be. thinks shes not great with people but is a great leader. cares so much even though she pretends not to because shes afraid of being hurt. so she puts up walls to keep people away and it ties into her coming off harsher than she means to, but also longs for connection. also shes better with people than she gives herself credit for esp her interactions with aj so cute. LESBIAN!! got a bit of a gnc thing goin on i love it. her little rainbow pin and untied boots with different colored laces. her voice gideon i love your voice So Much 😳💕
s4 was the perfect end for clementine, and the writers of the last season INTENDED for that to be her ENDING. thats where she spends the rest of her days, surrounded by her found family who love her, safe at the school. shes DONE RUNNING she literally hung up her hat like shes DONE. she NEVER wanted to be on the road shes always longed for a place to be safe with aj and she has it she would never leave.
so yeah this comic is not canon in my eyes and apparently for a lot of other people as well. im just trying to pretend it doesnt exist i wish people would tag it because i want to block it. im glad not many people are even gonna be aware of its existence i wish i was one of them. let me eternal sunshine this shit away please erase it from my mind.
they didnt even draw clems peg on the right side :///// theyre making her grow her hair out :/// fuck off
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perriewinklenerdie · 3 years ago
Text
Protect (Ethan Ramsey x MC)
Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Claire Herondale
Word count: 1,3 k
Summary: OH3 Chapter 15 rewrite. Ethan and Claire spend a quiet evening in after his trial.
Warnings: None, just fluff and feelings
A/N: I refuse to accept whatever the hell PB thinks they’re doing. So in this, Ethan let Claire help when she asked after she found the file, he helped her get in touch with Naveen in the morning of the trial and he absolutely did not do the whole ‘you talk and we’re done’ bullshit. I’m holding my idiots to the higher standards.
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“Case dismissed! Court is adjourned.”
Ethan remained in his seat, though only momentarily. He felt a sense of calm, no matter how conflicting it was with what he used to believe in, and the reason for that was sitting two rows behind him.
He stood up as he turned to look at her, finding her already looking at him. His feet hesitated to move at first, aware of his surroundings, but that feeling left as quickly as it arrived, leaving an empty space that only she could fill.
In a heartbeat, he was by her side, his arms were around her and she was flying into the air. She grabbed onto him, giggling at his display of affection. When he stopped moving, he leaned up, using his height to capture her lips with his while still holding her up in his arms. He hummed at the feeling, his shoulders slumping in relief.
“Let’s go home.” He whispered against her skin when the kiss broke. His hand cupped her cheek, holding her carefully, as though she was made of glass. Claire nodded, pecking his lips once more before letting him guide her out of the courthouse.
~
He fell onto the couch with a heavy sigh, Claire not far behind him. She sat by his side, her fingers running through his hair in a soothing manner. It went on for a while, her giving and him accepting the silent comfort.
Then, in one fluent move, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her further onto the couch, placing her directly underneath him. He hid his tired face in her neck, sighing heavily at her warmth. Food got ordered and until it would arrive, they’d remain in that position.
An hour later, the table was filled with empty containers and two empty whiskey glasses. They changed their position slightly, both of them now sitting on the couch, with her legs thrown over his thighs. Ethan ran his hand up and down her calf from time to time.
“I feel drained.” He admitted after some deliberation, giving her leg a squeeze. “I know that I shouldn’t have covered for Naveen. Or kept that information from him. You made me see that what I was doing wasn’t fair, to Naveen or to myself. Even though I still want to help him, I cant do it – not like that.”
“I think it’s time you realize that there are people that want to help you, too, Ethan. Naveen being only one of them.” Claire noted, running the tip of her finger along the bridge of his nose. He turned to look at her, then placed his head on her shoulder. “And me.” She added quietly, with a kiss to his forehead.
Ethan blinked slowly. The amount of feelings he had for her was beyond him and he didn’t know how to express them without choking up like an idiot.
He acted on his instincts and grabbed her hips, pulling her onto his lap fully. His eyes locked with hers and remained that way until their lips touched. The kiss was slow, unhurried, and overflowing with affection. Their need of comfort almost palpable.
Claire switched her position slightly, now straddling him to make them both more comfortable. She grabbed the sides of his face, securing them in place.
“We don’t have to do anything tonight.” She whispered tenderly. His eyes got faintly darker.
“What if I want to do everything tonight?” he whispered right back, a smirk on his face overshadowed by his exhaustion.
“Tell you what.” She grabbed his hands, then stood up and used that leverage to pull him towards his bedroom. “How about we take it easy for now, and in the morning-“
“When I feel better?” he interrupted her, smiling at her, as lovingly as intensely.
“If you feel better, we’ll do whatever we want.”
“Sounds like a sane deal to me.”
She grinned, standing on the tips of her toes to kiss his cheek. They stripped to their underwear and fell into the sheets. Claire pulled him into her arms, hugging him tightly.
“I can’t believe you’re mine.” Ethan muttered into the stillness of the night. She kissed his head.
“Better believe it, then.”
“You’re too good for me.”
“Oh, that’s a given.” She joked, expecting a laugh. She got silence. “Ethan?”
He wrapped his arm around her tighter, running the tips of his fingers over her arm, up and down in a soothing manner.
“I’m sorry for shutting you out before.” he began, his words making both of them freeze in anticipation. “I thought I was protecting you, that it would be better for you if you didn’t know. But that’s a lie and I was wrong. It was never about protecting you, not in that sense.” He didn’t dare to move a finger, having decided to lay everything into her hands and let her make her own judgement. “I was… afraid. Still am.”
“Afraid of what?”
Ethan leaned out of her embrace, resting his weight on his elbow so they could look each other in the eye. “Of losing you.”
Claire opened her mouth to say something but closed it immediately. He hasn’t been particularly forthcoming on what his intentions or feelings towards her were lately. Now, he was baring his heart to her, the most vulnerable he’s been in weeks. She wasn’t sure how to approach his sudden surge of emotions.
At her silence, Ethan continued. “I convinced myself that I was shielding you from all the bad things in the world, when really, I was being an asshole towards the most important person in my life. You.” he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. She leaned into his touch, her forehead creasing slightly at his next confession. “I was protecting myself.”
He averted his eyes, unable to maintain eye contact when shame burned him from the inside. Breathing in deeply, he awaited her reaction. She grabbed his chin loosely to guide him back to her, choking up slightly when she spoke.
“The most important?”
“I thought that much was obvious. Everything you do, everything we do, is precious to me.” he revealed, smiling gently at the way her eyes softened. “I never should have pushed you away, the way I did. Multiple times.” He added, his face falling again.
“You’re learning, though. You let me in yesterday when I found out the truth. You let me help you today when I went to talk to Naveen.” She reassured him, pointing out all his actions that proved that he was, indeed, letting her in. “It means more to me than you’ll ever know, because I want to be there for you.” she stroked his chin. “We’re a team, Ethan. You and me, we’re a team. Whatever happens, you’re supposed to feel comfortable enough to come to me so we can find a solution. No matter what it is.”
“I know, baby.” He whispered, leaning down to kiss her forehead. They remained in the tenderness of silence for a moment, after which, he added. “I still don’t know what I did to make a woman as wise as you choose to be with me.”
Claire eyes him, took in his insecurities and his genuine effort to make her see that she mattered the most to him. Sighing, she offered him a smile that he returned.
“You’re entirely too smooth for your own good, Dr. Ramsey. What am I going to do with you?”
“Whatever you want, Dr. Herondale.”
Notes
I needed to fix the mess PB made or I would have gone insane - even if I only fixed it for my own sake. The whole ordeal with the book ending next week is the most stupid thing I’ve heard in a while - and the most PB thing at the same time. You’d think they’d learn from their mistakes, huh?
I also love Uncharted - Nate and Elena are my crack, so when I fell down the rabbit hole again, I couldn’t resist.
Thank you so much for reading! <3
Tagging separately
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davidlikesguys02 · 3 years ago
Text
We Interrupt This Program
M/n= Male Name 
Bold- Means its on a tv screen. 
GIF Not mine
Word count: 2,932
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“No, I can't leave Monica.” “mom? It's ok, I can stay with grandma and…” “I can't leave” “maybe I'll build a spaceship. I wanna be an aircraft pilot.” “when they were handing out kids they gave her the toughest one. Lieutenant trouble.” Monica wakes up breathing heavily and hearing crashing and people screaming as she makes her way towards the door and walks out. “Excuse me….” “they're all coming back. We don't have the capacity” the doctor tells her
“Excuse me. I'm looking for a patient. In room 104…” she asks a nurse “who, my wife? Do you have a phone?” “no” “i have to call my wife.” she makes her way towards the front desk “watch out” she bumps into a man, they both fall backwards grunting “let me help you. Are you ok? You ok?” “I got him. I got him.” “Are you ok?” she asks as she gets up groaning. She turns to the lady in the front desk.
“Excuse me. I'm looking for a patient in room number 104.” “I don't know what to tell you” she starts looking around her “Monica?” “oh, Dr. Highland, thank god!” “I can't believe it, where did you go?” “well, in her room since she came back from the surgery. I mean, I might have fallen asleep, but no longer than 20 minutes. Dr. Highland, where's my mom?” “your mom, she died honey” “what? No, no, no, no you're mistaken. My mother...the procedure went well. You said so yourself. Clean margins. You’re discharging her today”
“The cancer came back.” “Okay, stop, stop. No youre...my mom is Maria Rambeau. Look it up. I mean look it up. Maria Rambeau.” “Monica, I don't understand what's happening, but you need to listen to me Marian died three years ago.” “three? No. no. no…” “which was two years after you…” “after i what? After what?” “after you disappeared.”
Monica is walking towards big metal doors. She takes out her keycards but it beeps so she tries again but it beeped again “Ma’am? Over here please” she walked over to him smiling “hi, good morning. I work here. And…” “if you did, your badge would work, wouldn't it?” “right um… I have a meeting with…” “hey. You know who this is?” “..this guy” “Captain Monica Rambeau.” “Director Tyler Hayward”
“Acting Director. You haven't aged a day” “and you look old as hell” Tyler chuckles “come on, let's catch you up. It's been three weeks and you're the first to report. Cant say I'm surprised captain.” “How are the numbers for the astronaut training program?” “ Dismal. Lost half my personnel in The Blip and half of those remaining have lost their nerve. The program hasn't been the same since you've been up there, Rambeau. We shifted away from manned missions and refocused on robotics, nanotech, AI. Sentient Weapons, like it says on the door.”
“It also says observation and response on that door, not creation” “worlds not the same as you left it. Space is now full of unexpected threats” “always was full of threats. And allies” “Listen, Monica, I just wanna acknowledge the awkwardness of the situation. I know S.W.O.R.D.'s your home. Your mom built this place from the ground up. You grew up here. You should've been here to help name the replacement.” “you were the obvious choice”
“I was the only choice.” “I wasn't gonna say it. Look, Tyler, you know the job you have to do. I'm here to do mine.” ”Let's get you back out there.” he takes out his keycard and opens the door to his office. “The FBI is in a tizzy over missing persons case up in Jersey…” “missing persons?” “I know. But they have requested use of one of our imaging drones, and I need a chaperone.”
“Tyler, drones usually chaperone me.” “i get it” “look, if this is because of...you don't have to worry about me. I'm good.” “There's no easy way to say this, but you're grounded.” Monica chuckles “you're kidding. For how long? Who whose protocol is this?” “Your mother's. She implemented guidelines in the event vanished personnel ever returned. Look, I know it's a raw deal, but there is one positive takeaway.” “what's that?” “she believed you'd come back. You'd be doing me a big favor with this FBI thing, but if you need more time…”
“No. no. I'm good to go” “excellent. Keep me updated, captain.” Monica finally arrived at Westview “James E. Woo, FBI” “Monica Rambeau, S.W.O.R.D. what's the story here, agent woo?” “I've got a witness setup down the road in Westview, and this morning, it looked like he flew the coop?” “Your missing person is in the witness protection program?”
“I have contacted known associates, relatives…” “and let me guess, none of them have seen him either?” “No. None of them have ever heard of him. Something seemed hanky to me, so I took the first flight out of Oakland to interface with local law enforcement, which is when I encountered a new wrinkle.” “what's that?” “Pardon me, Sheriff. Would you mind repeating your claim about Westview to my colleague here?” “no such place” “you're saying the town of Westview, New Jersey, does not exist?”
“It's what I keep telling your G-man here, but he won't listen.” “I see. and , um, I'm sorry, what town are you from?” “Eastview” “Thank you, Sheriff. I'll reach out if we need any further assistance. I, uh, pulled phone numbers for all the residents. I'm only through the D’s, but so far I got Diddly Squat.” “So you can't reach anyone inside and everyone on the outside has some sort of selective amnesia?”
“This isn't a missing person's case, Captain Rambeau, it's a missing town. Population: 3,892.” “Why haven't you gone inside to investigate?” “Cause it doesn't want me to. You can feel it too, can't you? Nobody's supposed to go in.” Monica walks over to her car and pulls out a drone. “What about you?” “Me? Well, I'm from Bakersfield, originally. Growing up, other kids had Michael Jordan posters on their walls, but I had Eliot Ness.”
“No, no, no, no. I mean, why is it that you have an awareness of Westview? Or me, for that matter? Is it because we are outside of a certain radius, or maybe because we don't have a personal connection?” She looks at the screen but the drone malfunctions. She looks up and it's gone “Wait, where'd it go?” “It was right there.” she walk towards the town but stops as she hears electricity bussing “whoa..”
“What is it?” “some sort of energy field” “Careful, Rambeau. Captain Rambeau! Watch it. Rambeau! Captain Rambeau! Captain Rambeau!” she sticks her hand in and it pulls her in and she disappears.
24 Hours Later
“Hey. What's your field?” “We're not supposed to talk to each other.” “hmm? Boy scout leader. Got it. And you” Darcy asked a woman next to the boy scout leader. “Nuclear biology” “artificial intelligence” “astrophysics. We got the full clown car. It means whatever the threat is, S.W.O.R.D. clearly has no idea what they're dealing with.” “I'm a chemical engineer” “no one cares”
“Alright grab your gear.” Darcy walks around the S.W.O.R.D. camp. “Ms. Lewis?” “Dr.Lewis” “we have your gear set up inside.” the man walks Darcy inside a tent “those drones you're sending in, what kind of data are you getting?” “I'm afraid that is highly classified.” “You can't see anything? FBI, Army. I saw the Air Force Office of Special Investigations out there. Research Lab, Space Command, too. A bona fide, joint, multi-service response. Really looking forward to the commemorative T-shirt. Is there somewhere a lady could get a cup of coffee? You guys look like you might get down with those little pod things. Horrendous for the environment…”
“Make your assessment, please” “whoa… I mean, whoa..” “what are you getting?” “a colossal amount of CMBR” “CM…” “Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation.” “we've been told the radiation is within a safe limit” “uh, it is… for now” “wait what do you mean” Darcy shushes the man “there's are longer wavelength superimposed over the noise here” she looks under the desk and struggles to get something “I got it”
“I need a TV. an old one. Like, not flat.” After a few hours it started raining. “Are you good to go?” Hayward asked an agent “yes, sir” “these sewers will take you straight into town. Try to find anything you can on Rambeau” “copy that” “keep me updated” Hayward says as he walks away. “Director Hayward, between you, me, and the bedpost, I am not confident about this mission.” “Thanks for the feedback, Jimmy. If only my drones were as forthcoming.”
“There's no reason to suspect the perimeter doesn't extend subterraneous.” “There's no reason to suspect it does.” Jimmy sighs “We don't know enough about the nature of the threat to send in another agent when the first is yet to return.” “Someone must really miss you back in Quantico.” “No, sir. Softball season's over, sir.” “what do we have up?” Hayward asked agent Rodriguez “Radar, sonar, infrared” “cycle through. Will someone get me a useful visual, dammit?”
Everyone hears a studio audience laughing in the tent “what is that?” “Can I see you in the kitchen for a moment, sweetheart?” “Who is doing that?” “Who are those people?” “What are you wearing?” “Why are they here?” “Well, it's our anniversary!” “our anniversary of what?” “Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!” “is that..” “ yeah, it looks like him.” “you move at the speed of sound and i can make a pen float through the air, who needs to abbreviate?”
“Look , I know it's been a crazy few years on this planet, but he's dead, right? Not blipped, dead.” “excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer” “what am I looking at? You? What is that? Where's this coming from?” “out there” “you didn’t answer the back door. For your upside-down cake. oh hi, I” “is it authentic?” “I'm not sure how to answer that” “is it happening in real time? Is it recorded, fabricated?” “I don't know. I don't know. And I don't know” “what do you know?” Hayward said annoyed “My equipment registered an extremely high level of CMBR. That's…”
“Relic radiation dating back to the Big Bang.” “Yeah, entwined was a broadcast frequency. So I had your goons pick me up a sweet vintage TV. And when I plug this bad boy in, voilà, sound and picture.” “Dinner is served” “So you're saying the universe created a sitcom starring two Avengers?” Jimmy asked, confused “It's a working theory” “Get me a transport back to headquarters now. Are we recording this?”
“Never stopped.” Darcy says “I need immediate analysis. Now, people. Let's go!” “He’s a charmer.” “great work” “hey, thanks, maybe I could get that cup of coffee now? Or not. It's cool.” ”Aw” Darcy turns to the screen to see you and Vision kissing “Aw”
“First and foremost, our main objective is to get any intel on Captain Rambeau, but originally, this case was a missing person, so we're going to start there. We've successfully identified two individuals inside the Westview anomaly. Let's keep going.” Jimmy says as he puts two pictures up of you and Vision. “This guest is leaving your home” “yes, thank you for coming” “Mr. and Mrs. Hart. played by Todd and Sharon Davis.”
“Computational forms. And no one can process the data quite like you do, pal.” “Agent Woo” “you're like a walking computer.” “Abilash Tandon is Norm” “Harold Proctor is Jones” “we got Isabel Matsueida cast as Beverly” “John Collins as Herb.” Darcy gasps, dropping her Noodle cup and calls Jimmy over “Really?” “Does she seem okay to you?” “Well, she doesn't appear to be harmed in any way, but that is definitely not the boss lady I met yesterday.”
“So what, deep cover? Monica has to play along?” “With whom? Or else, what? All right. Brass tacks, Dr. Lewis. What are we looking at here? Is it an alternate reality? Time travel? Some cockamamie social experiment?” “It's a sitcom. A 1950s sitcom.” “But why?”
“Hey, man, we're working with the same scarcity of intel. But, listen, I do have an idea. So, you've seen that radio in M/n’s kitchen counter, right? The next time he's washing dishes, which, by my count, happens about once an episode, barf, we'll shoot a signal to that little guy. This transmitter will mimic the frequency of the broadcast, and if my theory is right, allow us to speak directly to her. This is totally gonna work. Don't touch that.”
“Agent Woo.” agent Rodrigues hands Jimmy a folder inside the folder there's a colored image of a retro S.W.O.R.D. drone “Is this from the current episode?” “aired about two minutes ago.” “What is it?” Darcy asks “what does it look like to you?” “like a retro version of a S.W.OR.D. drone?” “bingo” “but how did it change and why” “uh, to go with the production design” “or render it useless”
“why‘d you colorize it?” “I didn't” Darcy heads back to the tent. “Let's get this show on the road. Jimmy, you ready?” Darcy asks through an earpiece. “Ready” “bigger and better every season” “uh, Jimmy, Monica is talking to M/n. she's got a speaking part now.” “what is she saying?” “those jeans are peachy keen” “she likes M/n’s jeans” “we only have a few hours” “M/n’s at some sort of swim club. We've never been here before.”
“Is it the 60’s still?” “uh, uh, M/n’s with another character.” “real person?” “ohh, uh, radio on the side table. start talking.” “M/n. M/n, can you read me over?” “I don't...” “Can he hear me?” “I don't think so, keep trying.” “M/n?” “M/n?” “M/n. Who is doing this to you, M/n? M/n? Can you hear me? I'm here to help” “please give us a…” “pop quiz M/n how does a housewife or in this case househusband get a bloodstain out of white linen?”
“Wait” “what?” “I don't know” “by doing it yourself” “that's weird” “what was?” “Nothing, it's over. Mission failure” “it was worth a try. Good effort, doctor.” “yeah come in”
Both Jimmy and Darcy are watching you and Vision on TV “darling, do you think it's time to..” “call the doctor?” “yeah” “yes, I do dear” “1950s, 1960s, and now the '70s. Why does it keep switching time periods? It can't be purely for my enjoyment, can it?” “I cant believe M/n and Vision are having a baby” “you want any?” Jimmy chuckles
“Heck, I thought about it for sure. A little Jimmy Woo. Get him a tiny little FBI badge. Oh, you... Chip? Sure.” “you're doing great. You're doing great. Look at me. Look at me.” “The jig is up” you scream. After a few minutes you hear the baby cry “hi, oh, he's perfect” “what a twist.” Darcy says as she's tearing up “What? I'm invested” “he was killed by Ultron, wasn't he?” “Did she just say the name Ultron? Has that ever happened before? A reference to our reality.”
“No never” “hey I'll take a shift rocking the babies” “no I think you should leave” “oh, M/n, don't be like that” “who are you?” “M/n” “wow this is different” The Tv cuts and Monica is gone “what happened? Where she go?” “god not again” Darcy replays the footage back “who are you?” “M/n” “there's nothing here. One second, Monica is standing right there, and the next she isn’t. Someone is censoring the broadcast.”
“But where's Rambeau?” they suddenly both hear the alarm “Alert! Boundary has been breached! Alert! Boundary has been breached!”
Inside Westview
“Who are you?” “I don't..” you walk closer to her “who are you?” “M/n i'm just your neighbor.” “Then how did you know about Ultron?” you start to see the familiar red glow around your hands “You're not my neighbor. And you're definitely not my friend. You are a stranger and an outsider. And right now, you are trespassing here. And I want you to leave.”
Your familiar red glow wraps around Monica Sending her back through every wall and fence. You gulp “I… I…” you raise your hands and start to fix the hole on the wall as if it never happened. You walk over to your babies hearing them “M/n?” Vision comes in through the door turning back to his synthezoid form “where is Geraldine?” “oh she left honey. She had to rush home”
You turn around to look at Vision and you gasp making you look down “what? What is it? What's wrong?” Vision asks you concerned “Uh..” you slowly look up at him and see that he looks normal again “we don't have to stay here. We could go wherever we want” Vision tells you “no, we can't. This is our home” you move your hand to crease his cheek and he holds onto your hand “are you use”
“oh, don't worry darling. I have everything under control.” you walk over and grab Tommy “oh hi” you turn to Vision smiling “what should we watch tonight?” you walk over to the sofa, Vision sits next to you. He puts an arm around you.
Outside of Westview
“Monica, are you okay?” “it's M/n. its all M/n”
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corpsette · 4 years ago
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May I request a sykkuno x fem!reader fic where she's this really cute and shy yet cheerful girly girl and how they would match. Like maybe they first "meet" through a stream that Sean or Felix invites them on and sykkuno's being his adorable self and finds her really pretty, and it's all fluff and blushy. 💖
YES, YES, YES!!! I LOVE THISSSS! I hope you enjoy 💞
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𝑩𝑰𝑮 𝑩𝑹𝑨𝑰𝑵
pairing → sykkuno x fem! reader
words → 1.2k
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the day was going by slowly, and it had been rather boring so far. you had spent all day watching other people stream, and, to be honest, you didnt feel like streaming today...
until sean dmed you asking if you wanted to fill in for someone and play among us with some very big creators.
of course you jumped on the opportunity! who wouldnt? it would benefit both your social life and your real life. besides, a few more friends wouldnt hurt.
"yeah, she should be joining any minute now!" you joined the voice chat and heard sean talking about you. "be nice, please! shes a very good friend of mine!!"
"no need to tell me twice!" you heard a sykkuno say. you had been a fan of sykkuno for a long time, but you didnt have the guts to message him. "oh, is that her in the vc?"
"y-yeah! hello everyone!" you said, smiling shyly as everyone tried to say hello at the same time. "I'm Y/N..."
"that's a lovely name, Y/N!" sykkuno said, making you blush and making your chat spam 'uwu.' "I've watched a lot of your streams, I'm a big fan!"
"thank you, sykkuno! I'm a big fan of you too!" and that was the complete truth. sykkuno was a big role model for you, he was one of the reasons you started streaming.
"okay, enough flirting, sykkuno!" rae butted in, making you both laugh awkwardly. everyone went around introducing themselves, and toast started the game.
the word 'crewmate' flashed over your screen. you quickly said goodbye to chat and connected to the proximity chat modules.
it took you a while to connect, though, so when you came back to the game you found sykkuno standing guard and making sure you didnt get killed.
"sykkuno?" you asked shyly, adjusting your headset ever so slightly. "is my mic working?"
"it's working! I can hear you!" sykkuno said, wiggling his character back and forth.
"oh, that's good!" you said. it was a little awkward, you had not the slightest clue on how to keep a conversation going.
"yeah! so, how would you like a body guard?" sykkuno asked, at this point you were both blushing and smiling like dorks.
you were big fans of eachother and didnt think this moment would ever come, since neither of you had the guts to tweet at eachother, let alone send a direct message.
"y-yeah, I'd like that. thank you!" you replied, but before you could move an inch, a body was reported.
"double kill in-" corpse started, but he was immediately shut up by rae's yelling.
"NONONO, SHHHHH!" she yelled, trying to talk over corpse. "BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, ITS CORPSE. I KNOW YOU'LL PROBABLY SIDE WITH HIM BECAUSE OF HIS VOICE BUT ITS HIM!!"
you giggled quietly as the chaos unfolded and rae and corpse started blaming eachother. at one point you zoned out, only coming back to your senses when sykkuno called out your name.
"Y/N?" he asked, you looked up to see you and sykkuno were the last people who had to vote. "are you there?"
"oh! yes! I'm sorry!" you said, fixing your posture and focusing on your screen.
"who do you think it is, I'll vote with you." sykkuno smiled to himself as you hovered over each person who was being accused.
"I think its corpse..." you said quietly, not voting yet, but sykkuno voted right away.
"I trust you, Y/N!"
"fuck, I should've listened to Y/N." sean said, shaking his head. "small brain plays on my end tonight."
you quickly voted and watched as the voted racked up. 3 votes for corpse, 4 for rae, and 3 dead people. it was obvious that rae, sykkuno, and you voted for corpse, so you already knew who voted who.
"should we 50/50 to be safe?" felix asked, standing at the button and waiting to call it.
"speed run?" corpse asked, laughing slightly as felix started wiggling his among us character, his child dancing behind him.
"SPEED RUN!!" felix said in a deep voice, only for reactor to be called. "SHIT." everyone ran towards reactor, leaving you and sykkuno alone at the button.
"hi again, Y/N." sykkuno said, standing on top of you to protect you. "I know you're crewmate."
"yeah, and I think you're crewmate too..." you said, a bit unsure. "because of the double kill."
sykkuno chuckled and wiggled around. "yeah! and, even if you were the imposter, I'd let you kill me."
"what do you mean-" you stopped talking as the sabotage was fixed and sykkuno called a meeting.
"we're alive!" leslie said, taking a deep breath. "so, we were right with rae?"
"I dont think so..." you said, thinking about all the big brain plays you've seen toast do. "I think its toast and corpse. toast does these kinds of things a lot-"
"WHA? ME? LITTLE OLD ME?" toast practically yelled. "I'd never kill anyone!"
"b-but..." you mumbled, trying to sound confident. "we should at least 50/50 corpse just in case..."
"I'm with Y/N on this one!" sykkuno said in his cheery voice, voting corpse and making corpse gasp.
"sykkuno... are you simping for Y/N instead of me?" corpse faked a sad sounding voice. "I cant beleive it. I actually think its Y/N and sykkuno."
"oh, it's not me and Y/N we were together at spawn when the double kill happened." sykkuno smiled, thinking no one would sus you two after that.
"can anyone confirm that?" toast asked and there was silence all around. "GET EM!"
with that, everyone voted, and sykkuno ended up being voted out because everyone trusted toast...
and that's how you lost the game to corpse and toast. damn, they really were amazing imposters.
"how'd you know it was corpse and toast, Y/N?" ludwig asked, making you try and shy away.
"w-well... I watch all of you guys so I know what kinds of plays you make..." you expected to be laughed at, but instead you got praised.
"that was really big brain, Y/N, sorry I threw that game." felix said, running around the lobby.
"yeah, that was really smart." toast admitted. "I guess I'll have you change my tactics from now on."
"oh... thank you all..." you said, laughing gently. "I have to thank sykkuno, hes the one that kept me alive. so, thank you, sykkuno."
"it's no problem! just trying to make sure we all have fun!"
after the stream, sykkuno added you and discord and you started messaging. you were so lucky to be picked by sean to join the lobby, because that's how you met sykkuno!
sykkuno brought joy to your life, even on days when you weren't feeling like there was any joy in the world.
you cherished these moments with sykkuno, and soon enough, he was more than a friend to you. soon enough, he was your bestfriend.
and maybe even a little more...
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yourbleedingh3art · 3 years ago
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tonight i just want to disappear. blip out of existence and not be seen or heard from again. leave my house in the middle of the night from the front door and just keep walking and not stopping, past all the things that are familiar until im somewhere unknown and unrecognizable and by myself. protected by hermitage. i want to keep things to myself. i only want to be looked at by strangers. i only want to talk to strangers. i want to be careless and unattached and worry about nothing, no one.
this would be nice for a week or a month probably not any more time than that, definitely not forever. but i want it so bad. a little vacation where im all by myself under the microscope of no one, truly free. i savor my time like that.
i keep worrying about stupid things ive already spent time worrying about before. chasing my own tail. big familiar circle.
i like my new hair. the blue. i've gotta adjust to seeing myself with it since it doesnt feel truly "me" yet, but i like it. i waver. i go back and forth. i definitely like it when i have makeup on. but im waiting for it to be comfortable 24/7, not just when im dolled up. its only the first few hours with it and i always struggle with change so im not surprised.
i am smoking in my garage. i've been doing this the past couple of nights, since it would cause too much trouble for me if i tried smoking in the house again. i dont mind going outside, though. it helps me break through the slump of spending all day in bed, burning thru my weed till its all gone and im a tired mush minded zombie.
i like elliott smith a lot. talking to mary is stuck in my head right now. i like that song so much. and pretty mary k. i like when he talks about marys. i think talking to mary is partially about me partially about mother mary partially about all the other obvious things its about that i cant name right now. and pretty mary k is about drugs or longing or being stuck wanting something and is also partially about me. i learned what solipsism meant the other day and now im scared im egocentric or an accidental solipsistic. if i sound like one i dont mean to be.
my pipe tastes very bad right now. i know it needs to be cleaned. luckily it's small so it wont be hard to do that. my spring break has been okay. it's had really good moments. it's just tough for me to be at home. it makes me think. it usually makes me ruminate.
i keep thinking, i hope it wasnt a mistake to change my hair. i dont know why i keep thinking that. i know i had planned this for a long time. i know i wanted this, anticipated this, and this looks exactly like what i wanted (well basically the roots could be fixed but mehhggghh it's really fine the color took quite well and it looks fine to the regular schmegular person in my opinion). but i keep worrying about it, i think it's anxiety related to other people, like what if they think, she was so much cuter with pink hair, that was her calling card, she was so dumb to dye it this ugly blue with those hideous roots. well then i would say. hey id been thinking about it a long time. and change is good. and if u dont like it dont look! shove it! when have i ever really cared about what other people think of what i look like. we all have our insecure moments but i dont let tht deter me ultimately from styling myself the way i want and im not gonna start. and i wasnt so anxious tht i didnt dye my hair bc here i am, decision made, not impulsively either, i bought the day and waited a full day and night of sleep to do it afterwards... so i guess i just needed to confront and acknowledge the little voice in the back of my head and reason it out in my virgo way
part of me is also scared the boy i love wont like it. and thats why i was upset when ii sent him a selfie and he did not compliment my hair! or just a general ur cute/sexy/hot comment. he didnt even heart the message. he was just like. oh i predicted u would dye it navy bc u said back in december u wanted to. wait is it purple or navy. and i could not even respond bc well its very obviously blue and i want to be told u think it's pretty!! also i felt silly because i sent him the picture and a lot of my torso was exposed in it maybe i looked, for lack of better words, like a tryhard slut, and i was like, no, of course u dont, hes gon a be like. ur so sexy. cuz u look good in tht pic! but then he didnt even say that. so i was like. oh... maybe he thinks i am... and. i was likle. ughghghghghghghghg why do i care what he thinks i hate caring! i hate caring what other people think!! bc then i cant just go about my day im like ooh what do they think...ok im getting too high to do anything but ramble now. to wrap this up i think i was just being silly because yes i wouldve appreciated the compliment but i already know i looked good in that picture so its not something to get butthurt about and ignoring him is fine if i want to do tht i can do whatever i want but make sure the ignorance is not just avoidance, make sure ur choices are conscious. bc i always want to avoid Issues bc. i am scared of change a lot and i feel like i have to be "strong enough to handle it" and i only feel strong and brave on certain days of the week.
so there is my friday march 18 12:18 am honestly blog post
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neoraso · 4 years ago
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royal guard!minho
requested | some gender neutral hc for how he starts to wish he was maybe more than just a guard to you 
to put things lightly, minho was the ace of your entire guard
like he was better than anyone …at everything
so originally he was on (your father) the king’s immediate guard
he was nothing but professional and saved the king too many times to count even from like stepping on rocks idk 
when you turned like 17 and had to do more public appearances obv u were in a lot more danger so ur father jumped at having minho reassigned to u as the head of your personal guard “nothing but the best for his child”
the first time you met him… he only nodded or said yes or no to everything u asked him n ur jus like ok not much of a talker that’s not so bad ig haha ʕʘ‿ʘʔ
he was so quiet and “polite” for months despite you constantly trying to get something out of him
ur other guards always tried not to laugh bc if only u knew he had like two friends and was generally a pretty serious guy
but one day there was a festival in your kingdom’s central city so obv you had to make an appearance which u were very excited abt bc you only get to go into town like twice a year and THIS was one of those times
being “of age” and that much closer to taking the throne you might as well have painted a big red target on your head to signal people against the throne
everything was going fine, everyone was having fun and you decided to visit some of the booths and musicians around the square
minho was already suspicious of the situation and tightens the rest of your guard without u evenn rlly noticing but like
just as you turned to show these cute little candies to minho to maybe get a reaction for once -
the second he looks at you, someone moves to grab you but the flash of a knife in his other hand causes minho to jump immediately into action
honestly who knows what rlly happened minho moved so damn fast but the next thing you know, ur in the middle of your whole guard squad
looking through the gaps of their shoulders you see minho pinning down your assailant with a blade against his neck waiting for someone to arrest him even though he rlly wanted to just execute the guy right there 
the festivities were kind of killed for u after that bc you and your family were rushed back home which u might’ve been more sad abt if u werent in so much shock :<
obv minho was the one to escort you back but like all he said was “you’re okay?” and after u dumbly nodded with wide eyes he walked with you but kept a hand around your shoulder
no one really talked after that which wasn’t unusual for him but in his mind he was rlly like 
“?? ok i know its literally my job to protect this family but?? hm whyyyy do i seem to care sm more rnnn??//?” help him sdhskjd
u just looked so shaken up and disappointed and suddenly he was like damn </3 they rlly have no fun in their life and this one time they could was ruined :///
u had to stay inside for weeks after that bc it turns out there was a whole conspiracy to “eliminate” your family line so you waited in safety until the criminals were “taken care of” 
minho had everything triple checked around the castle for your safety and secretly made sure you had extra treats and warm drinks sent to your room sometimes with little notes that he had the cook pretend to have sent because lately he’d heard you had trouble sleeping sometimes he’s shy boy aw
he started to realize how much he had gotten used to your smile and your little jokes and the way you sometimes tripped on the corners of rugs. and he thought maybe it was a good thing you guys didnt have many interactions lately because he was way too attached
you on the other hand, couldnt even rlly complain about having to stay inside so much bc you had everything you needed and- you knew it was for ur safety but- it wassss kind of suffocating at times
u tried sneaking out at first ((just to the garden!!)) which obviously was a bad idea bc it’s impossible to get past minhos fcking hawk eyes lmao
he STILL didnt say anything like he would just follow right behind you
n like u kinda huffed but whatever honestly at least it was just him and not 15 other guards like everyone acted like you needed
plus it was somewhat comforting to have someone so solid around even if he never talked smh
one night you sat near the little pond and tried to calm your mind by watching how the moonlight rippled in the water
you can feel him behind you so u just turn around and look at him ignoring how he was already looking at you
 “would you at least sit with me?”
he kind of hesitates bc …what if someone tried to come up behind you? but with the sad look on your face he cant help but give in and sits on the stone bench at the opposite end of you
it becomes actually somewhat peaceful until you just decide to ask everything you’ve been wondering n u just blurt out-
“would it kill you to talk with me once in a while? i mean, talk like a normal person and not a machine? i dont bite i promise..”
he furrows his brow bc he’s shocked you cared at all and also he doesnt rlly know how to respond without being like “its not really in my job description to make conversation” but he honestly just thought you were being talkative out of niceties.
 before he could even form a sentence you continued,
“i mean- i’m always trying to get your attention. i dont get to meet many people for obvious reasons but my guards are the closest people to me-literally, and i dont want there to be a big gap between us just because of my status..”
he cuts you off before you ramble yourself to death 
“i didn’t know you were this troubled by it… i just take my job very seriously and i dont want to risk anyone’s safety for the sake of conversation”
u almost roll ur eyes but not wanting to be rude ur just like “even at home? i know you’re serious about your duties, believe me, i just… i get lonely.”
smthing inside him literally breakkkssss when you say that like u are such a pure and sweet person that deserves to have all the love and friends and fun in the world so he just gets quiet for a second and looks down
“im sorry.” he said it so softly you almost didnt hear him “i’ll be there for you more- if thats what you need. im essentially in charge of your safety and care and i’ll do anything to fulfill that responsibility.”
ok.
well this was good right? so why did you still feel unsatisfied?
“i dont want to just be a responsibility, cant we just be like friends? or…”
you cut yourself off before talking too much again
you had to admit to yourself you had developed a bit of a liking for minho, not just because he was probably the most handsome person in your kingdom, not even just because he saved your life, but he had really been a pillar of security in your life and you respected his loyalty and ambition.
he was more than admirable and everything you wanted as a standard for your kingdom
sometimes you let your mind wander to him getting on one knee and leading alongside you..
no, now youre getting sidetracked and delusional and he can practically hear the gears turning in your head so he stands up and reaches his hand out for you to grab 
“of course you’re more than a responsibility to me, come on, lets go inside it’s getting cold.’
taking his hand and realizing the conversation was over, you moved to link arms instead  as he walked you all the way to your bedroom door 
u slept a lot better that night 
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from that point on you could not get rid of minho 
like everyone was borderline uncomfortable with how jarring his change in attitude was 
like he was constantly behind you looking right over your shoulder or grabbing your arm to stop you from bumping into things
even when he wasnt technically on duty he had taken it upon himself to give you little lessons in archery and even some defensive moves to help you protect yourself in case someone wasnt fast enough to help you 
your tried not to get flustered every time he adjusted your form and the way you could feel his breath behind your ear
or the head pats when he walked you to your room at night
or his hand on your back when you guys would take walks in the garden
honestly it did not take long until one night you were sat next to your pond and after some comfortable small talk you noticed how close his face was to yours
but he noticed you didn’t pull away even as he leaned in closer and finally just kissed you
when he pulled away and saw your eyes still closed and how soft you looked his heart almost exploded
“i didnt mean to make things weird i just,, couldnt help myself, sorry”
his rushed confession pulls you out of your daze and you’re so happy (a little shocked) but you’re quick to reassure him
“it’s ok, i’ve been wanting you to do that for a while …”
he’s jus like “rlly?😳”
obviously this complicates things a lot and you aren’t really sure if you would even be allowed to have a relationship with minho bc of ur position
or if he would get in trouble for breaking the rules of attachment to u
all of this is kind of racing thru both of ur minds as you look at each other but you laugh after u both start talking at the same time
you prod him to go first so he grabs your hands and says like
“look i care about you a lot, and i know we’re not really supposed to be doing this but if i can be by your side … beyond my duties…i would really love to. but if we can’t, i can survive with just being here to protect and serve you in anyway i can”
he’s so honest and genuine and earnest it shocked u a little
even tho you were uncertain abt the situation as well you knew you had grown a little too fond and dependent on minho that you would do anything to make it work
luckily an arranged marriage was not required for you so that wasnt really the issue, but falling in love with someone not at all royal..? it was a daunting thought how the idea would be perceived 
you wouldnt have said anything if you both weren’t completely sure of your feelings;  but you really could not imagine being content or safe spending your life with anyone else so you mustered up the courage to ask the king and queen…
when you brought it up to your parents they looked pretty concerned
minho went on the whole “i’ll do anything to protect them and this kingdom” speech and your father just waved him off and was like
“i know u would …. i’ll allow it because there’s really no one better to represent the kingdom and because i want only the best for my child ;)”
u and minho were literally in shock but just quietly said thank u and left the room
when you had privacy he immediately pulled you in for a kiss (maybe several all over ur face)
you had a lot to figure out and many responsibilities but now you had an amazing person by your side to help you through it :.) <3
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qqueenofhades · 3 years ago
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helllllloo. i wanted to first say that you are a wonderful human being, your presence on my dashboard brightens my day, you’re so kind to all your followers and i love seeing you interact with us! and i am sending you all the positive adult vibes your way ✨✨✨
second, there’s been a lot of chit chat lately about all the heartrender husband fans combusting over Simon Sears’ interview and the many many feelings that a certain grumpy bear gives us for his one (1) soft spot and ray of sunshine despite all his fragility and fear. i was wondering, if you had any thoughts on how it looks on the flip side for fedyor? i cant imagine being married to the General’s right hand man is easy (it’s both the safest and most dangerous place for Ivan to be).
Okay first of all, the first part of your ask is so sweet that I read it like three different times and was like wow are u sure. Second, boy oh boy can I use those positive adult vibes (even if they sound slightly like a porno 😂) because it has been the few weeks from hell. Job rejections, family health drama, moving hassle, and other such nonsense, to the point where if either myself or a member of my family has inadvertently insulted a leprechaun, I hereby apologise deeply and unreservedly on our behalf. Sheesh.
Anyway, never mind all that. We are indeed losing our minds slightly over said interview, for obvious reasons, but yes, Fedyor. Obviously he is Ivan's little ray of sunshine and one (1) weakness and the person he allowed himself to fall in love with despite losing the rest of his family, all of which are ship dynamics that drive me/us promptly feral. I definitely feel, however, that Fedyor has plenty of ferocity of his own, which is one of the reasons Ivan is drawn to him. Book!Fedyor tells Alina in the carriage scene that he became a Heartrender instead of a Healer (despite being of a Healing temperament) because he thought that he could do more good for people as a soldier, including when he has to kill. He also says that being a Corporalki is the hardest of all Grisha paths and requires the most training and study. I imagine that Fedyor was pretty good especially at the book learning part of his training, is interested in and dedicated to Grisha lore and history, and about finding way to use that beyond the obvious and making the Grisha appreciate who they are as a people and what their purpose in Ravka really is. And I'm not just saying that because I am also a historian and like to project onto my favorite characters. Shh.
Fedyor is obviously the total opposite of Ivan, personality-wise, but I think that is also why they complement each other. Fedyor helps Ivan lighten tf up and eat a pink cookie at a party, and Ivan helps Fedyor cut directly through the bullshit when he needs to. Living in the Little Palace and around the royal court, as members of General Kirigan's inner circle, obviously requires a touch for politics and diplomacy that Fedyor is far better at than Ivan, but that means his instinct is likewise to smile and humor people even when he wants to tell them to fuck off. Cue Ivan coming along and telling them to fuck off, which means they can blame Ivan for it and not Fedyor, and Ivan is perfectly 100% fine with everyone thinking he is the biggest grump to ever grump, since the only people whose opinions he cares about are Kirigan and Fedyor. Oh Ivan.
Fedyor is also outgoing and likes to have fun and is probably on good terms with most of his compatriots. He's clearly friends with Nadia since we see them arm in arm at the winter fete in mlm/wlw solidarity. He is also Ivan's Anger Translator, and if people have something they want to tell Ivan, they have a bad habit of telling Fedyor instead and trusting him to pass it on, rather than talking to Ivan themselves. (Fedyor: honey do you think this is even a slight problem? Ivan: no what are you talking about, it's great.)
I do think that Fedyor is just as frightened of losing Ivan as Ivan is of losing him, though for different reasons. It helps for him that they're usually in the field together (judging by his comment to Kirigan in 1x06 assuming that he and Ivan are going after Nina together) and facing the same things and same danger, even if it causes Ivan anxiety for this exact reason. I do appreciate that none of us have bothered to include any homophobia in Grisha culture, or exclude the possibility that Ivan and Fedyor could indeed be married in a church ceremony in the Ravkan liturgy. There's probably some side eye toward their relationship in wider Ravkan society, sure, but that is also tied up with being Grisha and the prejudices that they already face for being different. Behind the walls of the Little Palace, though, that is not really a factor and not something that they have to deal with. People are surprised that Fedyor and Ivan are together not because they're both men, but because "you're so nice and he is so... Ivan..."
Fedyor: I know, I know. But I love him anyway.
I also think that Fedyor is deeply protective of Ivan, not least because he is the only one who knows the truth about him being fragile and losing loved ones and everything else that he has been through, which is why one of my favorite headcanons is Fedyor going absolutely apeshit if Ivan is ever seriously hurt. Likewise, you can call Ivan grumpy in a joking fashion, and Fedyor will chuckle and agree with you, but anything else and his eyes turn red and the Heartrending hands come out like what u say about my husband bitch. Only Fedyor is allowed to roast Ivan in depth at all, according to Fedyor, and he will Let You Know if you transgress.
(Also why I want Ivan and Fedyor to meet the Crows again, Ivan sees Jesper and goes NEMESIS, and Fedyor just goes MURDER!!!)
Anyway. I'm love them. The end.
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