#not one i think she'd be fully aware of as dictated by something other than herself

[vickyvicarious]

She is in gay spirits and full of life and cheerfulness. All the morbid reticence seems to have passed from her, and she has just reminded me, as if I needed any reminding, of that night, and that it was here, on this very seat, I found her asleep.

Yesterday, Dracula's boxes were delivered at last to his Carfax estate in London. Presumably, the Count went along with them. That was his plan from the first, after all.

Today, for the first time, Lucy talks about what happened to her. And not in a single thoughtful murmur to herself while possibly in a trance/flashback... she brings it up to Mina. The way she does so seems like she's trying to make light of a very frightening experience, but she's able to give details when asked. She is willing to talk further despite being disturbed by the memories. The morning after Dracula leaves, while sitting over the spot where he once

It's almost as though, with the Count gone, Lucy is released from some kind of magical compulsion to be silent.

[border-spam]

Leech Lord - Crux

Tyreen

Leda

There isn't anything Ty could have done differently or changed in her life that would have altered the path she would be forced down, that's totally out of her control. She's just a puppet at the end of razor wires when it comes to her decisions, her drives. It wouldn't have mattered what she had set her sights on when they reached Pandora. Could have worked in Eridium mines, could have become a merc, could have been a million different versions of herself and they all would have ended the same - a semi possessed dictator chasing after something she doesn't want and doesn't even understand, dragging her bloodied twin along behind her.

But there is one thing she could have chosen differently that would have altered that path massively, and it was what happened to her mother.

They were only 8, Troy and her, and she tries to convince herself often that that's excuse enough. Little kids can't control their temper well, right? It wasn't her fault, that's just how children that age are... except she knows that's a lie because she can distinctly remember making the choice.

"Use your words, Starlight."

Told lovingly so often, over and over by parents who wanted the best for her, who she trusted, who she knew were right every time she gave in to the anger and saw the disappointment in their eyes after, or like in Troy's as he turned and ran sobbing back towards their home while blood trickled down his shirt.

She knew they were exhausted, she knew the silence that hung like a guillotine over her brother's bed on that terrible night meant this time wasn't for her, but she'd made the choice. She could have used her words - but lashing out just felt so much better.

If she hadn't thrown that tantrum, screeching and flinging herself around the room, slamming her fists into half repaired O2 scrubbers she knew breaking would upset her parents, then Leda wouldn't have had to grab her, that slap wouldn't have come. The "Universe does not revolve around YOU, TYREEN." wouldn't have been needed, and her powers wouldn't have flared in response to the rush of uncontrolled emotion.

She made that choice. 

She wanted the attention, she wanted to hurt them, she wanted Mom and Pop to stop staring at her stupid, limp, pale, wheezing brother and look at HER, and that killed their mother.

If Leda had not died that night, Troy wouldn't have lived.

If Troy hadn't lived, she never would have been able to leave Nekrotafeyo.

Would she have turned on her parents eventually, when her half of The Leech grew sick of waiting to be whole and realised the useless host it was trapped inside was unable to absorb what Troy had contained? Probably.

But she would never have reached Pandora, and that would have been for the better of the entire Universe.

Troy

"-tsk-... not like I have a choice."

That's a lie. He always did.

It's really hard to say if the reason Troy has always submitted to Tyreen is because of The Leech's influence, the Mouth commands and the Eye watches after all, or if it's just his natural disposition. For all his skill in leading, he doesn't enjoy it and never has. He likes to be useful, not in control. He wants satisfaction, not attention.

When she demanded he fly them off planet to leave Typhon and the only life he’d ever known behind like who he was didn’t matter, it didn't even cross his mind to just say no. Too conditioned from years of knowing he could be so easily overpowered mentally and physically by his stronger twin to understand how effortlessly he could drag her away from that ship and enforce his will. He's over a foot taller, even at his thinnest he massively outweighs her, and they both know her powers don't work on him.

Tyreen has been the dominant twin for practically as long as he can remember. There was a time when they were very young that they were equal physically, but as he got sicker, the gap between them grew. In Troy's mind, Tyreen is still able to push him over, crack his skull against a rock with ease. In his mind, she can still pin him while wrestling, lean weight down onto the weak side of his ribcage where there's no shoulder blade to protect it. She can twist his arm till his joints pop and then somehow convince everyone else that he’d just had an accident. She's faster, and stronger, and more dangerous than him - except in reality it's the total opposite.

He just doesn’t see what other people do so clearly.

He's fully aware of all this, but he still tells himself he has no choice, and every time he's done that he's shifted the course of his own future in a way he doesn't actually want.

He's always had a choice.

Even as she demands he turn the entire CoV towards hunting the Great Vault and abandoning everything the cult has worked towards since they birthed it, he defers to her command. Why? If he was to pin her against a wall, dare her to MAKE HIM, what would happen? If he confined her in a cell of raw Eridium, who does he actually think would fall first? He needs energy from her, yes... but Tyreen needs to feed constantly. He knows that. He knows that removed from sources to Leech from, she'd be left begging for his help well before he'd starve.

Every single time he tells himself he has no choice, he's making one.

Seifa

"You sure about this? Could use you at deck this season, gonna be a busy one, girl. Stay on, earn a bit more for the savings, cover your ass before you make the jump?"

"Nahhh Boss. It's time. Gut ain't done me wrong yet, and it's feeling like I should set out. Anyway, you won't get rid of me that easy, I'll still touch base every few months."

"Ugh... And here's me thinkin' I'd finally be done dealin' with you..."

"Hahaha, you WISH old man!"

If Sei hadn't left the fleet when she did, she would be absolutely miserable. 

Not that she has any way to know that, and she'd bitch that she's miserable now anyway, but she's not really. Not in comparison.

She set out on her own earlier than the norm, just turning 20. Usually fledgers would stick around till 23, 24, long enough to have a backup cache - enough to cover a lean season of income or some bum deals, but she'd insisted she wouldn't fail, and she'd been partially right in the end.

If she'd stayed, that confidence would have slowly ebbed away. Been handed the next group of Rosk orphans to train up. Gotten attached. Gotten bored. Met someone who liked her enough to tolerate him and justify pushing her leaving date back a couple of years. Then a couple more. Then a few more... till even she knew it was just lip service and she wasn't going anywhere. 

The next Rosk in a line of Rosks raising more Rosks and withering away in relative success till she'd take Boss's role when he eventually pissed off to the great beyond.

Never would have touched Pandora. 

Wouldn't have cared about whatever was happening on that rock, with the Dune Witch and that, what was it, the "Crawling Sorrow" or something? Whole planet was being consumed by a mad space sorceresss from one side, and a curse or something from the other.

Deserved it anyway. Fuckin shithole, lol.

Asks are open!