#not my proudest work TT

[taedeco]

𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧

Pairing: taehyun x huening kai Synopsis: Taehyun and Huening Kai met the first day of college. They gradually grew closer in the 2 years they've known eachother, becoming best friends rather quickly. But Taehyun's feelings didn't stop there.

Genre: fluff, f2l, non-idol au, college au, oneshot Warning(s): just tons of fluff ^^

Do let me know if i missed any!

Wordcount: 1.7k

note before you read: there will be a song linked somewhere in the story, I advise you to play it once you come across the link. it's not necessary but I think it will be a better experience if you do play it hehe c: it's a YouTube link so it's best to either read this on pc (bc you need to be able to open 2 tabs) or have another device ready to play the song. if that's not possible than you can listen to the song after reading!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ ﾟ｡ ･ ───

"Gyu, what if he doesn't like me," Taehyun rambled about his crush to his roommate for the umpteenth time that night but you can't blame him. It wasn't everyday that you met someone like Huening Kai. he was kind, thoughtful, had the best jokes and always knew how to light up the mood. Andddd he was cute.

"I mean, what if he thinks I'm a weirdo and doesn't want to talk to me ever again?" Taehyun continued to pace around in front of Beomgyu, who was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. He has heard these thoughts a million times now.

"Taehyun, can you slow down?" Beomgyu stood up and grabbed Taehyun by his shoulders to hold him in place. "Look, if you're really that scared than you can decide to not go through with this," Taehyun's head dropped low as he listened to his words.

"But i know you're gonna regret it if you don't tell him now, you've been crushing on him for nearly 2 years, for god's sake!" It's true, he and Kai grew close rather quickly but Taehyun's feelings didn't stop growing when they became best friends, if anything, they started growing faster. He tried to stop them but he soon realised it was impossible, love would win after all.

"I know! I know, you're right. I have to do this!" Taehyun exclaimed, smiling at the boy in front of him. He was nervous, very nervous, but he didn't truly know Kai's feelings and he wouldn't know unless he made his move. There was a chance, just a small one, that he could like him back. Or maybe that chance was bigger than Taehyun had anticipated.

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Beomgyu left a little earlier, leaving Taehyun to set everything up on his own. He closed the door to his room with his foot as he carried his laptop, opening the music program where he had saved his surprise for the younger.

He set it on the armrest of the couch and finally placed some snacks on the coffee table, trying not to knock over the candles he had put on the sides. He choose to decorate the table with candles because if he was gonna do this, he was gonna make it romantic.

Taehyun hadn't thought about what he was gonna say, not once did it really come to his mind that he'd actually have to say something and not just sing the song he wrote for Kai. He'd been working on that song for a while now, changing the lyrics and adding extra beats here and there until he was content.

It came out pretty well, if he said so himself. It was romantic, and it perfectly portrayed how Taehyun felt about his best friend. He just had to hope Kai would like it too.

After checking if everything was ready, he took out his phone from his pocket, almost dropping it because his hands were trembling. He opened his chat with Kai, took a deep breath and mumbled words of encouragement to himself before typing.

Hueningie ♥︎

tyun: huening~

hueningie: hi hyung! what's up :P

tyun: are you busy? do you think you can come over?

hueningie: hm, yeah i can come! is something wrong?

tyun: no, no it's nothing i just want to hangout

huening: okay ^3^ be there in 10?

tyun: sounds great!!

Those 10 minutes felt like hours to Taehyun. He had seated himself on the couch, his right leg bounced up and down rapidly as he anticipated the sound of his doorbell.

His head shot up towards the door when he finally heard the loud ringing noise. Here goes nothing.

Opening the door slowly, before him stood a smiling and enthusiastic looking Huening Kai. The light from the candles inside flickered in Kai's eyes and it made Taehyun's heart beat a little faster.

Kai's brown hair was curled slightly and it made him look so adorable. "Hi hyung" Kai said, waving at the older with the biggest smile on his face.

"Thanks for coming" Taehyun cleared his throat "Come in" He made way for Kai to enter, avoiding the stare he was giving him.

Kai pushed passed him, kicking off his shoes before walking through the small hall that connected to the living room.

Kai's heart dropped slightly when he was met with the romantic aura that filled the room. The candles, the snacks, is he on a date? He thought to himself.

"Hey, are you sure I'm not interrupting?" He turned around to face Taehyun, who was standing just a few meters away from him. "It looks like you're on a date.." Kai's voice was quiet and his head hung low. He sounded..upset.

"A date? what? why do you-," oh. Taehyun stopped mid sentence when he realised why the younger would think so.

"No, I-," It took him a moment before he could muster up a reply. "I prepared this for you" Taehyun fiddled with the sleeves of his sweater, clearly nervous.

"For..me?" Kai's head shot up to look the boy in front of him, his eyes sparkled with excitement. Kai had to be honest with himself, he realised he had taken a liking to his best friend a couple of months ago.

Taehyun was always overly nice to him, helping him with the smallest things and showing him simple acts of kindness. But even those small things made Kai's heart flutter so to think that Taehyun had prepared all of this for him, it made his heart beat out of his chest.

"You can sit down over there" Taehyun spoke up, pointing to the couch next to the younger, pulling him out of his thoughts. Kai sat down, he took off his jacket and hung it over the back of the sofa.

Taehyun walked over to where he had put his laptop, he picked it up and sat on the smaller couch to the left of the one Kai was sitting on.

"I made something for you," Taehyun spoke softly. "I've been meaning to tell you something for a while now, and I think it would be perfect to tell you through a song." He didn't stutter nor did his voice tremble, in fact, he sounded confident, like he knew Kai would like it.

On the other hand, Kai's words were caught in his throat, he couldn't get a single word out so he nodded instead, signaling that Taehyun could continue.

The older grabbed the microphone from the armrest, which he had connected to the small speaker behind the couch he sat on. He hovered over the play button on his laptop as he looked at Kai before pressing.

He was looking back at him, smiling brightly, his eyes still showed the flickering light of the candles. After a moment of silence, he finally pressed play.

A/N: time to play this song now!! again, it's not absolutely necessary but it'll be nicer ♡ (you can also listen to the song after the story, if you want)

────────────────

From the way you smile

To the way you look

You capture me

Unlike no other

From the first hello

Yeah, that’s all it took

And suddenly

We had each other

And I won’t leave you

Always be true

One plus one, two for life

Over and over again

So don’t ever think I need more

I’ve got the one to live for

No one else will do

And I’m telling you

Just put your heart in my hands

I promise it won’t get broken

We’ll never forget this moment

It will stay brand new

‘Cause I’ll love you

Over and over again

Over and over again

Boy when I’m with you

I lose track of time

When I’m without you

You’re stuck on my mind

I’ll be all you need

'Til the day that I die

I’ll love you

Over and over again

So don’t ever think I need more

I’ve got the one to live for

No one else will do

And I’m telling you

Just put your heart in my hands

I promise it won’t get broken

We’ll never forget this moment

It will stay brand new

‘Cause I’ll love you

Over and over again

Over and over again

────────────────

Taehyun closed his laptop and set it aside along with the microphone. He really just did that, he really just sang a love song he wrote to his best friend. The room fell quiet after the music stopped. Taehyun's eyes were glued to his lap as he played with his sleeves. He didn't notice Kai's stare, a stare that was filled with adoration.

"Hyung" the deafening silence was finally broken. Taehyun's eyes darted up at the boy across from him. He analyzed Kai's face for any form of negative emotions, but he couldn't find any. If anything, the way he looked at Taehyun made his heart melt.

"What do you think? Did you like it?" Taehyun asked, his voice was low and breathy. "Are you kidding me? I loved it!" Kai exclaimed. "You wrote this for me? How long have you been working on this?" He questioned furthur. Taehyun hadn't officially confessed yet but Kai got the message loud and clear.

He realised what was happening the moment the first words escaped Taehyun's lips. Kai was staring at his face as he sang with all the passion he had and noticed how beautiful Taehyun looked when he was focused on doing well.

"Just a few months" Taehyun chuckled in relief. He stood up and sat down next to Kai, taking ahold of his hands. "Huening," He started, slowly caressing his hands. The room fell quiet again as Taehyun searched for words to say to the younger.

It was quite obvious that Kai wasn't going to reject him but his heart was still pounding, just not out of nervousness anymore. This time, it was beating with the realisation that he'd soon be able to call the boy he's had a crush on for the longest time his.

"We've been friends for a little while now," Taehyun continued, his eyes met Kai's, who was intently staring back at him. "But..I want to be more than friends," He paused again, only for a moment, to look for any sign of discomfort in Kai's face.

"I want to be more than friends, with you" Kai's smile only grew bigger at his words. He ruffled Taehyun's hair a bit before answering. "God Kang Taehyun, you're so adorable" Kai cupped his face in his hands. "I really want to be more than friends too."

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note: the ending is a little bit rushed, I'm sorry TT I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless <3

thank you for reading, have a lovely day ♡

[boyfhee]

ㅤ ꣑୧ㅤㅤ:ㅤCANDLELITㅤㅤ𝒻t.ㅤㅤ성혼

﹙10097﹚ SYNOPSIS . . . the dating scene sucks, especially when the only person you want to be with is your roommate.

꣑୧ GENRE . . . roommate au, 'i hate them but they're hot' kind of energy

꣑୧ WARNINGS . . . profanities, drinking i mean lots of drinking we need alcohol shortage here, sunghoon smokes, mentions of one night stands, one very suggestive make out scene in the fourth section, undertones of cheating but not from sunghoon or reader, implications of sex although it's very light

꣑୧ NOTES . . . hi ( _ _; ) drowning in nervousness as i'm posting this. it's my first long fic after months ... i think the last one was in may or june 23 ... so please be nice >< don't know why but this didn't turn out how i wanted it to and it's definitely not one of my proudest works, but i hope u guys like it nonetheless huhu TT happy reading and please rb and drop feedback, it's highly appreciated ^_^

001. WHERE THERE’S HEAVEN THERE’S HELL

sunghoon is spiralling again. 

a part of it is because of the endless assignments from classes, but that’s no news. he knows it’s his fault for procrastinating and waiting till two days before the due date to even think about working on them— unlike jake who somehow attends classes probably four times a week and is seen in the football fields instead, and still manages to be the first one to submit his essays. it’s admirable, annoying at most. when he sat down to do his sports science project three days before it was due, sunghoon realised why his professor gave them two months to finish it. 

but realising your mistakes and working on them to be a better version of yourself are two different things.

for one, sunghoon believes those assignments are useless. no one cares about the impact of sports on society, maybe except heeseung and jake but again, in sunghoon’s mind, those two are never important. second, he’s too perfect to be working on himself. sunghoon is the best version of himself. he was born the day his uncle died, and his dad inherited the entire chain of restaurants his family owns across the country. he’s too amazing to be worrying about getting a degree he can buy— he thinks the university should be honoured he’s choosing to study— but that’s simply because his mother doesn’t want him to turn out like his sister. 

back to the matter at hand— as he puts the beer can on the table and sits back on the couch, his eyes travel to the door yet again. seventh time in just a minute, he’s keeping a record of how you make him wait. 

if there’s one thing he hates is being irresponsible ( coming from the great king of irresponsibility himself. ) you said you’d be back by twelve, and it’s half past one in night and not a soul knows your whereabouts. thirteen texts, seven missed calls, his phone is at forty-one percent and sunghoon is at his limit. if it wasn’t for your mom he wouldn’t give two flying fucks about where you are and how you’ve been.

sunghoon is actually surprisingly obedient and well-mannered, as opposed to the popular belief. he gave you and your mother the whole tour of the apartment the day you moved in. even made some coffee which isn’t much but your mother had loved him. he could see it in the way she looked at him with those sweet eyes, holding his hands as if he was her own son, and asking him to look after you. 

‘please take care of my daughter,’ sunghoon thought he was getting married. instead of a wedding bell there were warning sirens going off. to this day he doesn’t know why she asked him that, minutes after she saw a dead cactus in the balcony that he killed by overwatering. he couldn’t even say no to her and just nodded, looking over at you briefly and noticing how you look like you were a bit embarrassed. sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s so serious about ‘taking care’ of you. he thought it would be easy, but you had to be devil’s favourite spawn and sunghoon happens to be your target.

however, he can’t take this anymore. he has a morning class and waiting till two am while drinking beer has done more damage to sunghoon than it should. he gets up from the couch with a sigh, leaving the empty cans unattended for a night as he makes a mental note to clean tomorrow. it isn’t until a click from the door stops him in his tracks. 

“i’m back,” your voice is quiet, a yawn following immediately after your words as you look down while taking off your shoes. you’ve been drinking again, sunghoon can tell it from a mile away. 

“you’re late,” he speaks over the silence, hands on his torso as he’s giving you those squinted eyes and doubtful looks. if sunghoon didn’t know any better, he would assume you fucked someone at the club with how messy you look at the moment.

“yeah well, we had to take gigi to the hospital,” your lazy voice isn’t much louder than a whisper. you stumble towards your room, a hiccup followed soon after by the same quiet and slurred tone. “she ate something weird,”

he huffs at your words, knowing it would very well be just another excuse. “you could’ve at least texted,”

“my phone died,”

“i’m sure your friends would be happy to lend you their phone,” he pauses when he feels himself getting a bit annoyed. a soft sigh falls off his lips as he looks down at the tiled floor before looking up and speaking in a much calmer voice. “i’m just saying it’s not exactly safe to be out alone on the streets this late at night,”

“i wasn’t alone,” that piques his interest. “jay drove me back,”

and sunghoon felt his whole world stop. “jay?”

“yeah, jay, park jongseong,” your voice is surprisingly sweet when you take his name and it bothers sunghoon for some reason. his face scrunches up when you bite back a smile, hoping it’s the alcohol not because of what he thinks it is. “he’s nicer than i thought,”

sunghoon is not unfamiliar with the name park jongseong.

he hears it every day on and off the campus, more often than he likes. first things first, he’s just as popular as jake, for being american, which brings sunghoon to the question— why in the world would he leave america to study in korea when jay could have attended one of the ivy leagues with his face and money?

and the second and more important question, why in the world is park jongseong dropping you home at two in the night?

sunghoon only watches you in disbelief and astonishment as you stumble to your room, mumbling something incoherently. your words ring in his ear like sirens. ‘he is better than you’ jay is better than sunghoon. he scoffs almost offensively in your direction. that has to be the biggest lie of the twenty-first century.

he follows you to your room, reaching out to grab your arms when you almost trip but you manage to balance yourself. he opens the door and turns on the lights for you. “why were you with him to begin with?”

“oh, you don’t know?” and you turn around with eyes wide open as he shakes his head like a deer in the headlight. “he asked me out,” 

sunghoon didn’t get a single ounce of sleep last night. 

it’s your fault, clearly. had you been back earlier on the time, nothing would’ve happened. and jay— sunghoon sights at the thought of him, eyes narrowing as he grits on his pen as if he’s going to break it into two. 

“dude, are you hungry?” jake pokes sunghoon by his shoulder, dragging the latter out of his trail of thoughts. 

“what?” sunghoon shoots a blank look, one that makes his friend sigh in concern. afterall, it’s not everyday he sees sunghoon chewing on a pen. “i’m not,”

“you’ve been out of it since the morning,”

and sunghoon has been out of it since jay’s name fell from your lips. 

he’s not your friend, definitely not the first guy you’ve called by his name after sunghoon. but something doesn’t sit right. even after tossing and turning in bed for the whole night, he can’t figure out what bothers him more— the fact you said jay is better than him, or the fact that he asked you out on a date.

it’s the first one, he convinces himself. who you date is none of his business, he can’t be arsed enough to care about your love life or relationship status. ( although, he does care a little because he’s nosy. ) what bothers him more is that jay is, to put it in simple words, a player. all that face and no empathy for emotions is a waste, and to think you don’t know this— or maybe you do and yet still chose to go out with him, is beyond sunghoon’s comprehension. 

“what do you think about jay?” he asks abruptly, catching jake’s attention, looking at him a little too intently for an answer. 

“he’s a nice guy,” a casual reply before he gets back to his assignment before jake looks back at sunghoon with newly found interest. “he turned in my spanish essay last week, oh and drove me back from the bar a few days ago after you ditched me. why?”

sunghoon simply shakes his head, getting back to his books even though his focus is nowhere near studies. at this point, he doesn’t know if it’s jay distracting him or you. even your words keep playing over and over again in the back of his head. jay and nice in the same sentence doesn’t seem fit. sure, he helps his friends and drops his girl back home, but that’s only three days before there’s a new girl in his arms. 

002. RUNNING OUT OF SANITY

sunghoon doesn’t hear the door click open when you come back from your classes, too busy in the balcony while humming a tune that you recognise immediately. you take off your shoes, noticing how he taps his foot along with the melody, and it’s quiet in the apartment, apart from the sound of traffic and wind rustling through the trees around.

“i don’t like people who smoke,” smoking is not on your list of likes, but you find yourself next to sunghoon whenever he’s with a cigarette. just like now, when you return from yet another one of your dates— or meet-ups as you prefer to call it right now— with jay. it wasn’t really planned. you bumped into him after classes and he was on his way back home, so you asked him for a coffee. 

he almost jumps at your sudden voice but manages to compose himself, scowing at the distaste in your expression before scoffing, the cigarette still dancing between his lips. “good think, i’m not looking forward to be liked by you,”

he studies the frown on your face, glares as if your eyes are shooting daggers in his direction. it’s amusing to him how easy it is to get on your nerves. he leans against the metal railings, hair falling over his forehead. his eyes stay on your for a few seconds before he holds the cigarette between his index and middle finger, putting it away from his mouth and blowing out the smoke in your directions. he laughs mockingly when you step back, fanning out the smoke with your hands, cursing under your breath.

“are you crazy?!” you exclaim in annoyance, coughing slightly at his poor attempt at entertainment. your frown deepens when he mumbles a quiet apology although not meaning it, from the looks of it, and lifts the cigarette back to his lips. 

“you’re back early,” he states casually, tapping the cigarette butt and watching the ash fall down from the balcony before a taunting chortle falls off his lips. “did jay dump your ass or something?”

your nose scrunches up at his actions, although mostly at the tobacco you can still smell in your air. you look down at the road, watching a mercedes passing by. “no, he had to go somewhere so he left early,”

“i knew it! he’s good for nothing,” and he drops the cigarette to the floor, crushing it with his foot even though at the back of his mind, he knows you’re going to yell at him for cleaning that up. “what kind of guy can’t even spend time with his girlfriend?”

“we’re not dating,”

“that’s worse!” he emphasises, and a pause follows as he looks at you with a confused expression. “wait��� didn’t you say he asked you out?”

“he did, but he said he wants to wait until exams are over,” there’s a hint of displeasure in your voice. his eyes travel down to your fingers, especially the ring you’re fiddling with before they’re back on your face when you speak again. “we just decided to hang out,”

he practically scoffs at your words, quite literally in disbelief. a knowing sigh comes out of his mouth as he stands straight, this time standing with his back against the railing, feeling the cold metal though his thin white t-shirt. a part of him wants to laugh at your stupidity and point at how naive you are, while another part of him wants to find jay and beat him to pulp. he doesn’t know why there’s anger pooling in his stomach at the mere thought of jay just messing around with you. 

“what a sick bastard,” he huffs with a tincture of annoyance in his tone. “how much do you want to bet he’s playing with you?”

“you’re the one who’s sick,” and even though it clicks with him that you’re referring to a few minutes earlier when he smoked all in your face, sunghoon still frowns when you call him sick. “he’s just prioritising his studies, there’s nothing wrong with that. at least he doesn’t smoke while being all up my face,”

you two just bask in silence after that.

he doesn’t have much to say— actually he does, but he doesn’t know how to put it in a decent, coherent way. of course, your reaction won’t be the most pleasant if he told you he wants to punch jay’s good for nothing handsome face. he wonders what you’re thinking when he looks over at you. you seem happy whenever you talk about your supposed ‘future boyfriend,’ yet it’s evident that you’re upset. he likes to think you’re having your doubts too. it's reassuring to him for some reason— because that’s good for you, of course. if you’re upset, you have your doubts, and if you have your doubts you might not fall victim to whatever sick game jay is playing. 

“oh, actually, he doesn’t smoke,” but then you speak in a matter-of-fact way, as if comparing him to jay before giving him a mocking smile. “he’s better than you,”

those words ring in his mind for a good while. 

you go back inside and he hears you shut the door to your room as an annoyed sigh falls off his lips. hearing that jay is nice from jake was another thing, but hearing to say he’s better than him leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. and he doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way, these little changes in how he usually is, it’s new. it’s frustrating him out. 

it isn’t until his phone vibrates that he’s dragged out of his ocean of thoughts. his brows furrow when he notices the time, having realised that he basically wasted the entire noon even though he didn’t attend classes after giving heeseung an excuse that he’s sick. his eyes squint at the sender, and then a groan escaping his lips when he opens to read it. 

noh chaeun  4:15pm hoon! my last two classes have been cancelled are you up for some coffee?

sunghoon doesn’t reply, rather leaving his classmate’s messages on seen, too bothered by his inner turmoil to spend time with her. it’s not like him to be this way, to be so bothered over something that doesn’t concern him. you’re definitely not someone so significant and jay is definitely not the first guy you’re with. in fact, he has seen you kiss that guy from one of your classes— as much as he hates to recall that incident now— and had sneaked up to tell your mother about it over the phone when she had called you.

you’ve never had a serious relationship, not after meeting him. in his head, you always came back to him and he’d be lying if he hadn’t joked about it with his friends during the initial few weeks after you had moved in. when he had mentioned to jake that you’re pretty and his friend had teased him a few days later, saying his ‘crush’ was with this other guy, sunghoon, did in fact, say he doesn’t care because you always come back to him; or rather his apartment, actually, but whatever fits the joke. 

that day, he had a good laugh out of it and the joke died back then itself, more so after he started complaining about you to his friends. your habits, your actions, the things you say that tick him off, your quirky and quick remarks— everything. perhaps, even about your habit of arriving late on weekends from parties and ruining his sleep because you forget the key most of the time, so he has to wake up and open the door for you, but not guys, never guys. 

it hurts his head to even try and figure it out, to find the reasoning behind the pang in his chest every time you mention jay. he likes to think it’s just harmless competition although for no reason, even though both of them have done plenty of things to piss each other off just for the fun of it. sunghoon thinks he can live with it and walks back inside to the living room, until he sees you walking out of your room on phone with someone, the name of he who shall be mentioned rolling off your tongue again, and he finally pulls out his phone with a frustrated sigh. 

sunghoon  4:21pm sure, i’ll pick you up in ten

“actually, my mom wants to invite your family over for dinner this weekend,” the girl in front of him speaks with a smile after muttering a quiet thank you to the waiter after he gets their order. “she’s very grateful  for the donation your dad made for our art gallery and wants to thank properly,”

“talk to my parents, then,” it’s a simple reply, too bland and forced for her liking.

sunghoon hasn’t spared her a single look in the past ten minutes that they’ve been sitting together at the table. firstly, he doesn’t know why he drove to a restaurant when she asked for a coffee. it’s not even close to dinner time, and the awkward yet sweet smile on her face didn’t make it better for him, so he ordered starters and drinks to drag their little impromptu dinner out. 

“sunghoon, to be honest,” chaeun tries to strike up a conversation again, despite the constant lack of effort from his side. “i want you—”

“hey, isn’t that jongseong?” and he cuts her off immediately, finger pointing outside the glass panes beside them as he stares in the direction behind her with brows knit together in shock. “who’s that with her?”

“jongseong?” she repeats the name before turning her head, forming an ‘o’ when she spots a familiar figure through the multitude on the streets. “ah, that’s myung jihye. she has been pursuing him for a while. i guess he finally agreed,”

“they’re dating?!” his voice is full of surprise and disbelief unlike hers, so seemed to be happy for the girl instead. he stares outside with a heavy silence as the couple disappears between the crowd before looking at the girl in front of him.

“oh, i wouldn’t say that…i don’t know but it’s possible they are.” it doesn’t miss her attention how sunghoon’s fingers tighten around the fork. “everybody in our major knows jihye has crush on him and they’re probably a thing by now,”

and he wishes you were here with him right now so that he could show you the true colours of the dear guy you’ve been going out with, the one who’s supposedly ‘better’ than him. he wants you to realise that his words weren’t false and he isn’t sick, after all, and if you’d cry, he would be down to tell you it’s not the end of the world. that there are a hundred other guys better than jay, ones who won’t even breathe in front of another woman, who’d treat you better— hell, i can treat you better if you ever give me a chance— and then a pause in his train of thoughts.

he looks at chaeun, who’s looking back at him with a perplexed look and her own set of questions. his mind replays those words yet again, and he screams internally.

what the heck?!

surprisingly enough, sunghoon has been thinking about jay for the whole evening now, obviously not in a good way. his eyes keep travelling to the knife stand on the kitchen island occasionally and every single time, he has to convince himself that murder is not the right answer to anything. 

for some reason, he can’t stop imagining your smiles while on date with jay. not that he has ever seen those— wish i could— as he slaps himself out of his state of mind yet again. not only that man is playing with you but on jihye who’s apparently his girlfriend? he lets out the ugliest scoff known to mankind, because in sunghoon’s head, jay is a sick joke made by biology.

he waits for you to return from your shopping spree for about an hour, having beer as a company. he tries to stay awake although his eyes get droopy, and then every ounce of sleep leaves his body when he hears the door unlock. 

“yn,” he practically jumps out of the couch, it almost scares you. he accidentally bumps into the living room table on the way, knocking an empty can of beer to the floor but too busy to bother picking it up. “i have to tell—” his eyes go down to the eleven shopping bags in your hands, as he counts them. “— wait, what did you shop so much for?” 

“oh, i have to attend a family wedding next month,” his chest feels warm when he sees you smiling and looking so excited, and it’s making him go crazy on the inside because he doesn’t know what is happening to him. for some reason, he starts imagining you in a gown, like the one you wore for the fresher’s party, but then he forces his mind to get back to the point. “i’m thinking of asking jay to be my date,”

and his heart drops down to his stomach.

this has to be a fucking joke, and he tells himself. for a split second, he thinks he didn’t hear you properly. maybe you said jake because, well, jake did tweet a ‘date for rent’ form five months ago when he needed money to buy tickets for a post malone concert that cost more than his gentle monster glasses ( not that he got any money but at least they got a good laugh out of it. ) 

you remove your shoes and put the shopping bags on the couch before sitting down as well, letting out a heavy sigh. “you look like you saw a ghost,”

“a ghost would’ve been better,” he catches you looking at him when he mumbles under his breath, sort of grateful you didn’t hear him before sunghoon would rather not have another argument with you over how jay is not only a bad choice, he’s the worst choice. 

he looks over at you when you pull out your phone, fingers fluttering over the screen as you text someone with a giddy smile. he considers telling you what he had seen earlier, but god, he loved to see you smile like that. the way you press your lips together to suppress a grin, looking ever so happy as if you have won a lottery. he doesn’t think you’ve ever smiled like that at him, and it aggravates him even more when he realises that you probably smile like that every time you see jay. 

jay is getting everything he isn’t deserving of, and it pisses sunghoon off down to his bones. 

but again, he can’t bring himself to tell you the truth. you look too happy for your own good, it pains him physically to even imagine your reaction when you’ll come to know the truth. and then he pulls himself together, telling himself that it is your fault in the first place to trust someone like jay and ignore the warning signs he was giving you. 

in the end, he leaves without having any further conversations with you, going to bed two hours earlier than usual even though he knows he isn’t going to get any sleep. sunghoon is convinced he’s losing his mind, faster than a day ago actually. he lets out a frustrated groan and covers himself with his blanket, hoping to catch some sleep. 

it’s going to be yet another long day tomorrow.

003. A CHANGE OF STANCE

sunghoon thinks you’re hot.

what the fuck?

“i asked something,” you remind, pulling him out of his trail of thoughts and he flinches slightly, making your brows furrow in confusion. “how do i look?”

“huh— what? oh,” he takes in your appearance again. hair down, make up done— you’re wearing your favourite lip tint? and the best dress he has seen you in so far, looking so mind blowing it actually blows his mind and short circuits his brain. 

even your favourite lip tint … sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s looking at your lips in the first place but little does he know he’s fucked. 

absolutely. completely. fucked.

nonetheless, he manages to compose himself, clearing his throat and sitting up ever so elegantly on the couch, legs crossed, the magazine still in his hands. “you look…t-terrific,” 

you can’t help but get even more confused at his words, wondering if it was a bad idea to even ask him for his opinion, even though you play along. “like in a good way or a bad way?”

“in a terrific way,” he blurts out, eyes wide open as panic settles in slowly inside his stomach, and he’s stuttering, shocked, surprised, fucked, again. “you look terrific in a terrific way…so terrifically terrific in the most terrific way possible,” 

“are you high?” 

well, he would say he is! never in the two years that he has known you did sunghoon think he’d find himself floored, figuratively, and speechless, literally, at the sight of you. and he’s not saying you look bad on other days. you look good, in fact. good as in plain and presentable, but never in a good good way and definitely not in a hot way, of course. 

“anyway, i’m going out. receive my parcel for me if it arrives,” you move to put on your shoes, taking a few seconds to pick between the two you think would suit your outfit. for a moment, you consider asking him to help you choose— as you look at him up and down peripherally, and he looks terrified. and you shrug it off, grabbing one of your loafers.

“where are you going?” he asks after a good minute of silence, sounding calmer than earlier as he gets off the couch and walks up to you. his nose scrunches up in disapproval as your hands move to one of your jimmy choos for a brief second, before you decide to go back to your initial pick.

“date,” he takes a moment to register your words, despite this happening many times.

a date. he scoffs softly, looking away, arms crossed. 

a date, again. sunghoon doesn’t give a fuck. 

“with jay,” you continue, this time with a sweet smile on your face that makes his heart flutter for some reason. maybe, he does give a fuck. 

now, sunghoon should feel bad for his fellow friend of a friend because he’s on a date with you, but instead he wants to snap his neck in two. the name is starting to give him an ick— jay this, jay that. you’re hanging out with jay, having coffee with jay, going on a date with jay, shopping with jay, next would be going to bed with jay— he pauses immediately, shaking his head. he doesn’t really like the sound of that.

“whatever,” he tells himself when you walk out of that door, looking all pretty and excited. he doesn’t know why he’s getting so worked up over a date, that too with someone who— according to sunghoon and chaeun— is dating someone else. he would pay to see you back home all miserable and he would point fingers at you and laugh, saying he told you already while you had your conscience and rationality clogged up with the possibility of getting dicked down. 

but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re on a date with jay fucking park. and you’re looking hot. 

he sighs, slouching back on the couch, looking outside at the bright blue skies and then sighs again. he needs to be lobotomized.

it’s three in the noon and sunghoon is drowning himself in misery and pity. and soju.

a glass after another and then another, along with two empty bottles already on the table. even the owners are giving him a weird look and heeseung can only let him ruin his reputation so much.

“there, there,” the senior takes the half empty bottle of soju from his hand and puts it aside, sighing pitifully at sunghoon. “that’s enough for today. you need to stop drinking,”

“heeseung,” sunghoon looks up at the guy in front of him, looking horribly pitiful, eyes a bit unfocused from the alcohol settling in his system. “do you know yn?”

and heeseung pauses for a few moments, not knowing what prompted him to ask this question. more so when you and heeseung went to the same highschool and even were in the music club. he nods slightly in doubt, raising his glass to his lips. “of course,”

“do you think he’s pretty?”

“of course,”

“do you think she’s hot?”

“of course,” it takes heeseung quite a few seconds to respond and sunghoon sort of wants to punch him in the face for agreeing because he feels a certain way when others find you hot— but he would claim it’s soju giving him heartburns. “why are you even asking this suddenly?”

“she went on a date with jay,” he responds in the most miserable and sullen voice known to mankind. his shoulders practically slouching at the mention of he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned, finger tracing the rim of the glass in front of him with incoherent whines falling off his lips.

“so what?” jake interjects, beckoning the owner for yet another bottle for soju. it was necessary, as heeseung had warned earlier while arriving at the restaurant, considering sunghoon’s impromptu text about wanting to meet up. 

“jake, did you hear what i said? she’s on a date with jay. park. jong. seong,” the youngest spells out every syllable, sitting up straight as he gets defensive. “she thinks he’s madly in love with her or something but she’s wrong! the day i went out with chaeun, i saw him with jihye and guess what? chaeun said everyone knows they’re a thing but apparently, yn doesn’t know this. i’ve told her so many times that he is not worth it but she won’t understand she’s fucking dumb oh my god,”

and…silence.

absolute fucking maddening silence that made sunghoon go even more insane before jake finally decides to speak, albeit in disbelief. 

“that monologue was unnecessary,” the foreigner pours in another glass for the three of them, filling them up completely, knowing this is going in a new direction yet a one that has been anticipated by both him and heeseung. “besides, since when do you care about her?”

“she’s my roommate,”

“you like her,” heeseung exclaims, and silence follows again for a few seconds before sunghoon gasps scandalously, slamming his glass down on the table which turns a few heads in their direction as jake mutters an embarrassed apology for it.

“i don’t,” sunghoon speaks in a voice much calmer than his previous tone, even leaning in towards the table to put emphasis on his words. jake pours himself another glass, scoff at his words while shaking his head mockingly which only pisses him off more.

“i knew this would happen,” heeseung continues, stating it as a matter of fact while nudging jake to pour him a glass as well. “saw this coming from a mile away when you cried over her going on a blind date the last time you got drunk,”

he can’t point out when that must’ve happened, but he doesn’t refute his words, simply letting his eyes travel across the room for a few moments. the frown on his lips deepens when he meets jake’s knowing gaze as he gets defensive once again. “i’m telling you, i don’t like her,”

“you said that about hello kitty but she’s everywhere in your room now,” he turns his phone with the screen up when he feels jake’s eyes on it, or particularly on the hello kitty sticker on his phone cover as the boy nudges him for another glass. “go on, you’ll need it.”

and sunghoon does, drinking more than he usually does thanks to jake filling his glass again and again for the sake of his sob story. the cab drops him in front of his apartment and he stumbles his way to the elevator. the silence sobers him out for some reason as he leans against the walls of the elevator and thinks about you.

perhaps you’re still with jay, sharing smiles and stories, kisses if you’re brave enough. he likes to think you are not, that you would chicken out— it makes him feel better about himself. he imagines you holding hands with him and then shrugs that thought off his mind just as quickly, huffing at the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth as he walks out of the elevator once it reaches his floor.

sunghoon planned to take a shower and sleep, but every thought water downs to nothing when he spots you crouching next to the door with knees pressed up to your chest. he can’t see your face, but he knows you’re sad, and it makes him stop in front of you, his heart accelerating when you look up at him with glistening eyes.

you look miserable.

and sunghoon has no reaction. he’s frozen, hands on his side as he stares at you. he was supposed to laugh at you for your stupidity. but you look so utterly sad and heart broken, god, he wants to punch jay in his throat. yet again, every single thought leaves his mind when his eyes fall back on your face, his hands instinctively opening out to you as he speaks in a voice as soft as a feather.

“let’s go inside,”

004. CANDLELIT 

“he said it was a bet,” you speak over the silence, fiddling with your fingers. you look up at sunghoon— who’s sitting with legs crossed in front of you while you’re curled up in one corner of the couch. “and that he never meant to drag it out for so long but he didn’t know how to tell me,”

“a bet?” he scoffs bitterly, looking away for a fraction of a second before his eyes are back on you. “what an asshole,” 

it’s not the first time sunghoon has said that. in fact, asshole is all and the only word he uses to define jay. you still think it was a stretch, for jay isn’t that bad. sure, he lied to you and played with your feelings— which you will never accept that you had feelings for him because you don’t want to look pathetic— but he wasn’t rude. well, at least he paid for all the three dates you two went on with the locations being some high end restaurants or bakeries. 

on the other hand, sunghoon stares at you in silence. his eyes trace over your sullen face, and then to your fingers. for a second, he considers holding your hands…roommates can do that at least, right? to comfort one another, but then he catches you looking up at him and he averts his gaze to a distant corner. “don’t start crying now!”

“i’m not! i didn’t even like him that much…” and he can’t help but suppress his smile at the pout on your face as you refuse to look at him. it’s adorable, he never thought he would ever say that, but it’s true. your mannerisms are cute, you’re cute, and it’s eating his brain cells.

“is that so? you talked about him like you two were in love or something,”

“stop it!”

he stares at you quietly for a few seconds again. even though you’re being defensive out of embarrassment right now, trying to prove to him that you’re not heartbroken, sunghoon knows you’ll be crying the moment you’re behind the closed doors of your room. on other days, he wouldn’t care so much. not more than giving a few pats on a back and telling you to suck it up despite the concern in his voice. today, however, he feels differently.

you got played. it’s your heart that’s broken. you feel like a fool, and yet sunghoon is sitting in front of you, trying to find words amidst awkwardness and hesitation. his heart feels heavy for you. it’s unfathomable on his part.

he suddenly remembers the day you mentioned that jay is better than him. he almost scoffs at that, again. well, you might harbour feelings for the american guy but at least sunghoon never had you holding back your tears. and he swears it would never come to that, if you ever have feelings for him because sunghoon would be a better boyfriend— and then he comes back to his senses as soon as those words register inside his brain, cheeks heating up at the sudden thought before he clears his throat. 

“do you want ramen?” he manages to change the topic ever so swiftly, getting up from the couch and already walking to the kitchen without waiting for your response. apparently, getting away from you would ease his heartbeat, although hearing your voice has just as much effect on him as your presence or a mere thought of you.

“are you cooking?”

he lets out a breathy laugh at your words, getting two packs of ramen from the shelf. “of course, do you think i’d ask you to cook when you look like you went through a divorce and lost the custodies of all your three kids?” 

you frown at his words, although ending up laughing at them just a second later. it’s hard to not laugh at how silly he is sometimes, if you ignore his annoying tendencies. sunghoon puts the water to boil, fighting back a smile at the sound of your laughter. it’s better than seeing you all sad over a guy who doesn’t deserve you.

you get off the couch as well, making your way to the kitchen, wanting to help him since he listened to your sob story. it’s quiet, and you hear slight rumbling outside as you take a quick look at the weather outside through the windows and then within a few seconds, thunder pierces through the silence hanging in the room. 

sunghoon flinches visibly, freezing in his stance before the sound of heavy rain fills the kitchen. he turns on the electric stove and it blows out. all the lights in the apartment go out, darkness settling in and disturbed just as quickly as the room fills with bright flashes of light, illuminating your face for a short second before it’s dark again.

“wait, i’ll get my phone— oh,” you reach out for the back pocket of your trousers, quickly get your phone and turn it on for the flash light before it powers off. “out of battery,”

he takes a blind step into the darkness when it thunders again and he notices you standing with your arms around yourself when the light surges in the room for a moment again. he hopes you won’t push him away if he puts his arm around you, but then you two bump into each other. a quiet apology finds its way out of your lips, and he can tell you’re flustered. 

“where are the candles?” he asks to distract you from the fact that he’s holding your hand and pulling you aside gently, so you don’t crash into each other again. your hands feel oddly warm in this cold weather, and it only flutters his heart even more.

“second shelf from the right i think,” your voice is interrupted by thunder again and your hands instinctively tighten around his fingers. and then a loud thud follows, causing you to gasp slightly. “are you okay?”

“i can’t fucking see,” his voice is strained, oozing off pain as he lets go off your hands. you open your mouth to speak before he bumps into something again. something falls off the counter, perhaps the spoon by the sound of it and he apologises shortly after. it’s harder to navigate around his own apartment, more than he had imagined.

sunghoon manages to find the candles, setting them on the counter with pure intuition before lighting one of it up with the lighter he always carries around in his pocket. he turns around, almost bumping into you and before he could say anything, he sees you pressed up against one of the counters, face illuminated by the dim candle light. 

you’re close, too close, he’s afraid you can hear his heart going crazy at the proximity. his mind is telling him to step aside but he’s too lost looking in your eyes, ( as you are too ) with you looking so impossibly beautiful under the faint golden glow. 

“is this okay?” he whispers softly and you simply nod, not a word coming out of your mouth as you find yourself entranced by his face. sunghoon has always been aphrodite’s son, as his admirers would call him, and now that you’re seeing him so closely, you’re realising he’s something much more beautiful.

it doesn’t slip your attention how his gaze settles on your lips for a quick second, your body tensing up at the sudden movement. your breath hitches as he leans closer, dipping his head down. your heart is racing while he feels like his heart has stopped— it’s timeless, as he finds himself just a few centimetres away from your lips, not wanting to stop even though he gives you a chance to pull back, whispering softly, “can i?”

you nod. and sunghoon doesn’t waste another second, capturing your lips with his. 

it’s still at first, with your lips only pressed up together for a few seconds. it’s only a few seconds after he pulls back ever so slightly, and then tilts his head to the other side and goes in for another kiss, this time moving his lips slowly against yours. he feels you tense up for a brief while and then melting as you kiss him back, your fingers lacing around his tenderly. you flinch when it thunders again, breaking the kiss, but feeling shivers down your spine as you feel his breath on your lips. 

he takes a few seconds, fingers ghosting up your hands to rest on your waist, tugging you closer as he brushes his lips against yours. “focus on my lips,”

and he kisses you again, this time a bit more firmly, albeit it’s slow and gentle at first, his lips moving against yours in a way that's both comforting and exciting. but as the moments pass, he presses in deeper, more insistently. he lets his body press more firmly against yours, his chest touching yours as his tongue gently teases at the seam of your lips. it was working, the way his lips move against yours, it calms your nerves from the thunder but lights them up again when he nibbles gently on your lower lip, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist as he continues to kiss you so fervently. 

it takes a passing second for you to realise what you’re doing. it surprises you, however not enough to pull back, or maybe the way his tongue feels against yours stops you from doing so. you’d be lying if you say you hadn’t thought of kissing him before— as early as two days after moving in. and now that you’re actually kissing him, everything feels like a fever dream.

he tucks your chin up with his fingers, pulling you in closer to deepen the kiss. he is a good kisser, sunghoon uses that to boast about himself, he has always been good at this— kissing, bragging, making your knees weak, and all you could do was melt into him wet and sloppy kisses that he plants on your skin. 

he dips his head down to your neck, pressing sloppy, open mouthed kisses down the column of your throat, pulling your blouse aside to get a better access to your collarbones and shoulders. it felt like his body has a mind of its own, and he’s only following right behind. when a soft gasp leaves your lips, he moves back to your lips again, wanting to swallow every little sound you make that makes his mind haywire. 

your breaths are heavy, hands around his neck with fingers grazing the skin of his nape. a movement that makes him moan softly in the kiss as he presses you against the counter, holding you between his arms. his hand that's resting on your hip moves up, tracing the curve of your waist and then sliding under your shirt to rest on your bare skin, lips curling up in a subtle smirk as he hears you gasp yet again. 

“sunghoon—” you pull back, getting a quick glance at his half-lidded eyes when the lightning from the thunderstorm fills the room. he can still feel your laboured breathing on his lips and it does nothing but pull him in even more. after all, sunghoon would be lying if he said he didn’t imagine doing this with you.

“we’ll stop,” he pecks your lips, then trailing his lips down your jawline and to your neck, leaving a trail of gentle kisses along your skin. “when the candle goes out,” 

005. WHERE THE LINE FADES

when sunghoon wakes up the next morning, he’s met with cold empty sheets on the side and the memories from last night start flooding his mind. his heartbeat accelerates at the mere thought of you, especially how you were last night and every time his name fell off your lips in bliss and pleasure— he would’ve preferred waking up to you rather than emptiness. 

he lays idly for a few minutes and stares at the ceiling, looking for where it all had started. was it the day you told him jay asked you out? maybe not, he doesn’t like to think of himself as a jealous person. it must’ve been when you asked for his opinion on your outfit, he tells himself, you looked too good to be true that day. a few seconds more and he sits up with a soft groan, seemingly unable to find answers to any of his questions.

the weather seems to have improved as he notices the cosy sunlight outside. he slips on this shirt before walking down to the shared bathroom, rubbing his eyes softly and brushing his fingers through his hair with a sigh. he puts his hand on the door knob and looking up in surprise when it opens on the other side.

“oh,” the slight hint of shyness on your face doesn’t escape his gaze, just like how enchanting you look this early in the morning with hair wet from the shower. you bite slightly on your lower lip before the awkwardness in the air is disturbed by your voice. “morning,”

actually, it must’ve all started the day you moved in.

“morning,” he replies back, rubbing his nape and looking away. the weight of questions lingering around makes it hard for him to look in your eyes. “would you like to have breakfast?”

you nod and follow him into the kitchen after making a short trip to your room. 

you steal a few glances at him while eating your breakfast, feeling your palms sweat at the thought of bringing it up to him. you avoid it for a few minutes, tossing the question around in your head while trying to make small talks about the ketchup, as bad as it could get. it feels a bit suffocating until you finally decide to address the elephant in the room. “so about last night—” 

“it was a mistake,” he cuts you off immediately, a heavy pause following shortly after. he looks up in your eyes for the first time since the morning. “let’s just forget it,”

and his words leave a bitter taste in your mouth. it could’ve been just another one night stand for you had it not been with sunghoon— your roommate, the person you see everyday, the person who managed to give you butterflies the day you moved in. your fingers tighten around the spoon and you consider arguing back for a moment before you push that idea further back in your head.

it could be just another thing added to the lists of things that have been buried, like the time you and sunghoon almost kissed in the elevator last year.

“right,” you nod quietly, convincing yourself that it’s not a big deal. that he’s just another guy in your life like jay. actually, you don’t feel like wanting to compare them anymore. you don’t know where the line marking the difference fades. “of course, yeah,”

you don’t even like the sound of that.

“yeah,”

you don’t wait another minute before leaving your unfinished breakfast on the table and going to your room. his eyes follow your movements, conscience nudging him to chase after you. he contemplates it for a while, and then you walk out with your bag. “i’ll see you after classes,”

and then sunghoon doesn’t see you for the rest of the morning.

or the day, in fact. usually, you two end up bumping into each other at least once, but sunghoon doesn’t see you around for the whole day. he skips spanish, deciding to go back to his apartment earlier than usual. he turns on the tv, deciding to watch a football watch with beer on the side while waiting for you. an hour passes, then another, and another.

there’s no sign of you.

it isn’t until he rings up a few of your friends that he hears that you’re staying over at giselle’s for the night. he wouldn’t blame you, couldn’t, not after everything that went down a night ago. you needed some space and so did he, but somewhere inside he wondered if he should’ve been honest with you when you brought up that topic during breakfast instead of saying the first thing that came to his mind and dismissing it.

but, he dismisses it again, letting you be on your own for as long as you need, knowing you’d come back soon.

which you do, the very next day, much to his surprise. he had expected you to avoid him for at least a week. he notices the way you look when you return early in the morning, tired and exhausted as if you hadn’t got a single ounce of sleep. there’s silence engulfing him but you walk to your room before he could even open his mouth to speak. and then you ignore him for the rest of the day.

he starts feeling annoyed at some point, trying to come up with a reason for your actions. he tries striking up conversations with you and you give short responses, or just nod. when you walk away without answering him when he asked about your day, sunghoon wanted to grab your wrist and pull you back for a second, but he dismisses that idea just as soon as it pops up in his head. he doesn’t even realise how quickly time passes in silence, not until he returns from heeseung’s apartment after spending two nights and one day with him and jake and checks his phone, realising it’s already close to being a week till you’re gone radio silent. he notices a few texts, mostly his study group that have been planning meet-ups to study, one that he rarely attends. his eyes especially squint in confusion at the texts from your mother, saying she had been trying to get in touch with you but getting no response. 

he was on his way to his room when he heard the door unlock. a pause, the click of the doorknob strikes through the silence, followed by your footsteps. he takes a few seconds to sort out his thoughts before speaking. “your mom texted me since you weren’t picking up her phone,”

“my phone died,” you give a simple response, almost too quickly for his liking. he lets his eyes follow your movements as you take off your shoes and jacket, putting it on the couch. 

it takes him back to the day you told him about jay asking you out. 

it was exactly the same— you arrived late, your phone had died. he was asking the same questions, albeit laced with annoyance. today, it’s hesitation, maybe slight doubt. sunghoon can’t stop you from seeing jay, but the idea of you being with him bothers him more than expected. so, he follows up with yet another question. 

“where have you been?” he asks, wanting to maintain a casual demeanour even though his heart is pounding in his chest just from being near you. he isn’t expecting any response, actually, however he’s met with surprise when you actually reply. 

“with jay,” the words fall from your mouth as if you’re used to them, used to saying his name. there’s an awkward pause before you clarify. “we had dinner together. he wanted to apologise properly,”

“that’s— that’s great,” he manages to squeeze out, but sunghoon thinks jay could’ve left you alone instead of meeting you if he wanted to apologise so bad.

you definitely had feelings for jay, even though they didn’t go as deep for you to come home sobbing your eyes out the day you learnt the truth. to sunghoon, that is enough of a reason to hate him even more. just the mere thought of your heart sinking whenever you’d even think of jay made him fist his hands, nails almost digging in the palm of his hands. 

sunghoon doesn’t have much experience with girls. in fact, none at all. flings are one thing, and girlfriends another. he has had both— none too serious. the first time someone asked him out was in highschool, although he’s surprised it didn’t happen much earlier. that time, just agreed to go out with her because his friends were in relationships too and he didn’t want to fall behind. it wasn’t soon before it turned into a competition after he got into university. not his best self, it isn’t something he’s proud of now that he thinks about it. 

and sunghoon isn’t half better than jay in that aspect, although obviously not as bad as to bet on going on a date with another girl while he already has a girlfriend. however, if you had feelings for him— as he thinks while watching you walk to your room— he wouldn’t let a single tear fall from your lips. 

“about that night,” he follows you into your room, practically hearing his heartbeat echo through his ears. he gulps nervously when he notices you looking at him with a sliver of hope in your eyes. “it wasn’t a mistake,”

“oh,” and you stop in your tracks, having no idea how to respond. an awkward pause follows as you bite your lower lip habitually before speaking, feigning a casual tone. “well, we can still put it behind—”

“i don’t want to,” he blurts out, cutting you off mid sentence. you notice how his voice is quiet as always, yet there’s panic and anxiousness behind those eyes. “i mean, i tried to, but it’s difficult. you’re always on my mind,”

there’s a silver of determination behind his voice. it’s surprising and equally anticipated. sometimes, he feels like he thinks of you every minute no matter what he’s doing. it was never this bad, these days even the regular banters between you two give him butterflies. and sunghoon understand that he might be far from your type in men. perhaps, you actually prefer someone like jay, who treat you to a fancy dinner to apologise, or maybe that guy from a few months ago who can’t remember the name of. 

you and sunghoon can be polar opposites and he would still be standing here, fingers fidgeting nervously with the hem of his denim jacket, looking so uncharacteristically out of place. he would choose to have this talk again, as much as he hates confronting, because it never about who your type is and always about the fact that you’re sunghoon’s type— as he realises this when you tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, looking at him with lips pressed together. you look cute, more so when you’re awkward, and he can’t believe he’s coming to terms with this but god, he is falling for you. 

he is falling hard, and falling deep. it’s nothing like him, you make him nervous, almost as if knocking him out of air whenever your eyes meet, and he would gladly suffocate to death. it was quiet with too many questions hanging above his head, and he noticed the way you fiddle with your fingers with the cutest expression known to mankind and sunghoon knew he was screwed. 

“i’ve got it so bad for you, yn, really,” —he speaks as if he’s out of breath due to the nervousness— “really bad. i tried to keep you out of here,” he said, pointing at his chest, cheeks flushing red as the words fell off his lips. “but you won’t go, you just won’t.”

and sunghoon has never been so…out of place, for the lack of better words. it’s amusing, even to you, the way he is right now. the sunghoon from three weeks ago wouldn’t even care but he, now, is pouring out all of himself, as if stripping him naked of his emotions and letting him see what lies behind the suave smiles and prideful words. as if showing you how easily you have him going crazy, right out of his mind and how he can’t help but just stare blankly as his eyes travel down to your lips occasionally— as they do now— and it leaves you in a frenzy when you notice it. 

“i can’t stop thinking about that night— not in a weird way, just…” and you’re just standing in front of him, trying not to laugh at his antics. he’s cute, a pause, what the fuck. and then you just go along with it, knowing there’s no point denying it anymore now that you two are having this conversation.

you notice his little mannerisms, like how he can’t look in your eyes for the life in him, how he keeps shifting his weight from one leg to the other. it’s adorable, especially the way he can have all the attention in the room with just his mere presence. that’s sunghoon for you, with a presence so heavy it’s loud even when he’s silent. it’s so loud you can practically hear his mind, of all the words you know he wants to say but can’t. there’s a hitch in his breath, his eyes meet yours for the first time in the past few minutes— i like you— they say, and the next thing sunghoon knows is that you’re kissing him. 

“i like you too,” you whisper against his lips after pulling back, your lips brushing against his. sunghoon feels like every single nerve in his body has been sparked, giving him goosebumps when you slowly intertwine your fingers with his.

of course, you know how he feels even before he could say it out loud. maybe, he just made it obvious for you to guess, otherwise sunghoon likes to think of himself as someone who can hide his feelings well. he lets go of your hands as soon as he feels you lace your fingers with his and instead, cups your cheeks ever so tenderly and leans down to capture your lips with his, smiling in the kiss. “i love you,”

˃ᗜ˂ : if you made it till here, i'm sending each one of u kisses >< thank u for reading, i hope u liked it. ps i had to put my heart aside and write jay's name ... never again will i put my man thru this huhu TT he's too good to do these things

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

HI ARI!!! IT’S 🐟 ANON HERE! the last fanart you rb of satoru reminds me so much of elegant stone and used chisel… i was also listening to hozier’s ‘empire now’ and now im stuck TT

the first thing i thought was a modern retell of the galatea and pygmalion myth where reader is feeling very stressed because lately they’ve had weird dreams and they know there’s a missing piece somewhere. and maybe they’re an artist? so they get commissioned to create a beautiful statue for some rich dude but their mind is a blank canvas. no idea, no thoughts, the chisel feels heavy on their hands as never before, the cuts on the wooden side too annoying to make it properly comfortable to use again.

so one night they lock themselves in the studio and they play with the marble a bit until the inspiration kicks in. and before they notice it, they have a statue. one that feels familiar, with traits that they swear they’ve seen before somewhere… but oh, it’s just so beautiful. probably their proudest work, and they fall in love with it. they pray the gods to make the statue an human but it doesn’t work. no gods hear their lovesick prayers or if they are, they are turning their heads away. and maybe when the deadline arrives reader either destroy the statue (that is satoru) to not leave it in the hands of someone else OR makes a double one (less curated, more disheveled with the marble scraped at the edges) to sell, while hiding satoru in their studio… because when you pour so much love in your creation— whose face resembles that of a past lover or someone you dearly loved in one of your past lives on top of it all, i guess it’s difficult to go back to the life you had before 😔😔

i dunno… the fanart was just so beautiful… :(((( btw, hope you have a good day! stay hydrated! and i hope you had a nice easter 🫶🏼🫶🏼

🐟 ANON MY LOVEEEEE !!!!!!

THIS CONCEPT . HOLY FUCK. YOU’RE INSANEEEEE AND I MEAN THAT IN THE MOST WONDERFUL WAY EVER….. i’m genuinely so enamored w it??????? there’s smth abt this trope that i can’t help but adore just . the idea of falling in Love w a piece of art!!!!! wowowow!!!!!! it appeals to me so much already and then you go and pair it up w SATORU GOJO…… yeahhhh you’re out for my life i fear 😔

BUT WAHHHH I’M JUST :((((( he really is perfect for it isn’t he. he’s too gorgeous. like a finely crafted sculpture. who wouldn’t fall in love w him a little???? and the possibility of him being physically similar to a lover in your past life………. that’s SO tasty. the idea of being tasked with the mission to create something beautiful, only for your hands to subconsciously mimic the appearance of a forgotten lover…… SOBS. you’re a poet 🐟 anon!!! the way you worded this whole thing makes me so emotional!!!!! :’3 i also lovelovelove the ending…. or the possible endings. reader hiding satoru away or destroying him so that no one else can have him….. there’s something both tender and kind of twisted in that i think. it’s so gooddddd i’m gonna CRY i need a fic of this so bad……………

I JUST . love this very much 🥺 thank you SO much for sharing my dearest….. this concept has me so mesmerized. i hope you’re having a lovely day/night too!!!! and drinking lots of water!!!!!!!! sending you all my love n kisses <333333

[natsu-chan-17]

This is one of my proudest works actually cuz inspiration hit me to write this at a random time and I just went with it. Hope you guys like it:))

Sunday afternoon nap vibes

Pairing: Hawks x implied fem reader

Category: Suggestive fluff( bit of thigh rubbing and ear nibbling🤭) but still fluff nonetheless

-------------------------------------------------------

Small blotches of orange light filtered into the room along with a light gust of wind blowing the curtains gently. You were in your home office working on various assignments and had been at it for hours.

Your eyes dragged lower and lower with your vision getting foggier as you finally rested your head on the table, deciding to rest for a few minutes.

Your body was faced away from your office table, adjacent to the large sleek desk as your head lay propped up on your arms while you slept lightly.

"Hey chicken wing, you done yet?" called Hawks as he entered your office quietly as to not disturb your work only to find your tired, resting form.

He chuckled under his breath at how hard you had pushed yourself instead of resting a bit more since it was the weekend. As he stood staring, a devious thought came to mind and he decided on teasing you a little before telling you to go to bed.

He walked up quietly to the other side of your desk and saw that you were wearing a sundress that was riding up your thighs as you shifted in your sleep. He smirked and kneeled down right by your legs that lay crossed, and placed his hand on your knee gently.

He rubbed small circles onto your knee before leaning his face close to your ear and letting his hand wander further up your dress running along your thighs until they stopped at your hip. He whispered seductively, "Well aren't you just full of openings." You shivered a bit at his voice and he smirked at your reaction, "Too easy."

He let his hands rub your thighs and hips underneath your dress as he lightly kissed your cheek and nibbled a little on the outer lobe of your ear, waiting for you to wake up.

You stirred in your sleep and when you finally noticed a warm tongue on your ear you jumped and Hawks fell back on his behind laughing at your reaction. Your eyes opened wide as you realised Hawks had been the one touching you in your sleep.

"Damnit Hawks w-what was that for. You know how flustered I get already," you shakily yelped out.

"I just can't help it chicken wing, you're so easy to tease it'd be a waste not to," he responded still chuckling lightly as he got up from the floor.

"Ughhh I swear I'm this close to banning you from eating chicken nuggets!" you threatened in a still slightly flustered tone.

Hawks decided to just play along and dramatically held up his hands, begging on his knees clinging to your dress. "Nooooo anything but that, y/n," he said as he whined.

You frowned and grumbled, "such a brat, you know I can't resist your begging face."

Hawks smiled as he got up and gave you a hug while you refused to cave in out of anger. "Awww that's my chicken wing, you can never stay angry at me for long," he said as he chuckled near the end.

"Damn you, beautiful chicken man," you whispered as you gave in to his hug. "Now..." Hawks began, "I think it's time for you to actually rest," he said as he flung you over his shoulder suddenly.

You screamed in surprise and yelled for him to let you down so you could work again but he refused. Once he had reached the bedroom, he let you down gently over the bed as you fought to get up.

In an instance you had red feathers pinning your wrists down as you squirmed, and Hawks wrapped a blanket over your body. He snuggled up to you as half your face was covered by the blanket. You gave in as you felt the comfort of the warm blanket around you as well as Hawks' strong hold over you.

"Maybe a nap wouldn't be too bad..." you thought as you dozed off. Hawks chuckled quietly as he noticed you were asleep. "You work too hard sometimes chicken wing," he whispered to your tired form as he fell asleep as well.

------------------------------------------------------

I'm kinda running out of inspiration so if you guys dont mind, could you suggest characters to write on? I cant turn on comments for some reason TT. Ignore my previous statement, I'm gonna figure this out

[inseongsfoxybae]

How would SF9 react to their s/o saying "If it's not rough, it's not love" about sex with them because s/o wants them to be rough lol

❣ anon

Hey, babe! Sorry for the late answer, I was busy at work TT

But let's go now ☺️ I love this idea 😏

Mature content under the cut ^.^

Youngbin

Well, I think Binnie doesn't have mercy when you're up for rough sex. He makes sure to give you what you want (and even more), so wait for a long rough sex session with your man.

And be ready, friend, you probably won't be able to walk properly for the next few days *ooops*. Do I need to tell you about his fingers prints and bites bruises all over your skin? Because you'll have a lot of them everything on your body.

If you dare to complain, he simply shrugs it off and comments: "So I think I'll never fuck you against the mirror again.... Or anywhere else", giving you a smirk when he sees your dumbfounded expression.

"NO! I take back what I said", you exclaimed while snuggling to his side, smiling at his soft chuckle.

Inseong

Poor baby would choke in his own saliva when you let it out. Sex with him is usually slow and romantic, so when you say it, he would panick because he'd think you doubt his feelings and would do anything to prove you how much he loves and wants you.

Asks you all the time how you are feeling, if it's to rough, if you're uncomfortable. But he gains confidence when you tell him to go harder, faster and deeper and hears your moan his name in bliss.

"Never doubt of my love for you again", he whispers when both of you recover your senses.

"I actually never doubted it. But if it means you'll fuck me like this every time, I think I'll have to question your feelings more often", you tease and the two of you burst into laugher.

Jaeyoon

I think Jae is naturally a bit rough when the subject is having sex, but of course he always worries about making you feel good and comfortable with him.

However, when you spit these words at him, this sweet man loses his mind and slams you against the nearest surface, taking you mercilessly.

Expect to have tears rolling down your face and multiple orgasms, because this honey here won't stop until you beg for him. Screaming his name and cursing will be a must on your sex sessions, so feel dirty (lol).

"I love when you fuck me this way", you mumble under your breath, eyes struggling to keep opened.

"And I love to fuck my babygirl", he says back, taking your weak body on his strong arms before carrying you to bed.

Dawon

Sanghyukie is another one who loves rough sex with his bae, but he's still surprised when you tell that to him.

"Doesn't my cupcake trust in his daddy's love? I think daddy has to show her how bad he loves her", he teases, immediately ripping your clothes off of your body.

Well, let me tell you your neighbors probably won't sleep that night, having you screaming and moaning Dawon's name non stop for hours.

After several rounds, the two of you are completely worn out and you reach out for Dawon's chest. "Okay, you really love me too much", you muttered and you both laugh.

Rowoon

This giant baby usually tries to be soft, but ends up being naturally rough due to his *big* size.

But since you had texted him that morning, he couldn't stop thinking about ruining you against the wall. And so does he when he gets home at night, pinning you against the wall of your hallway and taking you unforgivingly from behind.

Seokwoo has an amazing energy when the point is making love to you and he takes on a tour for your house, tasting every single part of you in each room: living room, kitchen, laundry, bathroom, on bed, on the couch, on the floor.

"Is it love for you now?", he breathes, watching your fluids soaking the sheets under you, a proud smirk on his face.

Zuho

Ju is a cutie pie, but he also can lose his shit, mainly when you tease him like this even knowing how whipped for you he is.

He doesn't waste any time to show you how much he loves you, your body and the sex you have together. Ju hungrily devour you in the couch of his studio before filling you to the brim with his deep thrusts.

His sweet kitten eyes suddenly get dark and the dangerous expression he shows on the stage appears right in front of you in his small studio.

"Let me make you explode with my love, kitten girl", he growls into your ear, sending you to paradise in seconds.

Yoo Taeyang

Tyang is a cute, shy and delicate guy outside, but I guess all of us imagine how savage he can be on bed.

And once you let him know you want it rough, friend!, get ready to be wrecked. This sunshine has an endless energy for several rounds and his beautiful hips know perfectly how to do their job into you.

His skillful movements will make you see stars very quickly and Tae won't stop until you're completely fucked out under him.

"Does my pretty girl want to be loved one more time?, he sweetly asks, not giving you time to recover your breath and already starting another round.

*Friend, find a man who has s sex drive like Tyang (lol)*

Hwiyoung

This innocent baby will stare at you in disbelief, shaking eyes wandering over your face to look for any glimpse of joke. When he sees you're being serious, a small "o" forms on his lips as he slowly approaches you.

Youngkyun starts his thrusts slowly as always, watching your reactions, analyzing your sounds, until feeling confident enough to pick up a faster pace.

"Rougher, Kyun... Fuck me harder, love me harder", you cry for him and, the good boy he is, he doesn't waste more time to go deeper into you.

Youngkyun is amazed by how gorgeous you are in this moment, by how beautiful your desperate moans for him are. He feels the proudest guy when your orgasm hits you like a truck and you shake helpless around him.

Chani

This baby sloth might be naturally lazy, but he shows a completely different side of him when the two of you are alone and you're feeling specially horny.

Once you give him green light to fuck you senselessly, this boy makes his way into you very easily and rough, your hips violently meeting as he's buried deep into you.

"Can you feel how much I love you, pretty girl? Isn't enough for you? Because I can go harder", Chani teases against the skin of your neck, his hips slamming against yours too deep for you to form a decent sentence.

This little shit is able to take you to the space really fast, but not before teasing you a little *too much*.

[koishua]

JJ APPRECIATION OMGOGMOTMGOTMRGONG FINALLY YES LETS GOOOOOOOOOO istfg bighit is rlly doing smth to their japanese boys like how tf- IM SO EXCITED FOR TRAINEE A I JUST KNOW THEYRE GONNA BE ONE OF MY ULTS ONCE THEY DEBUT AND THE FACT THAT IM ALREADY SCREAMING OVER HOW COOL THEY ARE IS PROOF. anyways yes JJ best boy <3

also also also jihoon :( <3 okokok I'm done i swear-

FUCK YES JAYJAY APPRECIATION LIKE?? he exists so who am i to dare to not appreciate him?? 🤨🤨 INSANE. HE IS IN-SANE. INSAAAAAAANE. bighit really hit gold and gems while skimming through to-be trainees like? THEY PICK OUT SUCH RARE 1-IN-X YEARS TALENTS LIKE???? bighit snatching all of them rare pokemons

TRAINEE A ARE ALREADY A PART OF MY ULT LISTS even if they haven't debuted yet dhxnnxnx THEY ARE SO COOL LIKE I HAVE BEEN HAVING LEO'S MOVE ON ON LOOP SINCE ITS BEEN RELEASED ON SOUNDCLOUD 😭✋ COOLEST BOYS EVER

also ngl jihoon lowkey but also highkey the funniest member istg if his tts tell me anything is that he is unhinged i don't take any other opinions 💀💀

jayjay is the best at making me feel the proudest and also the laziest fan of his ever 😭😭✋ kid's been working his butt off since being practically a baby and winning national championships left and right 😔💔

[maatryoshkaa]

baby, it’s cold outside | b.c.

summary: you’ve never really given your cute next-door neighbour a second thought—that is, until you’re shovelling your driveway alone in a snowstorm during the holidays, and a certain someone decides to lend a helping hand. 

pairing: next door neighbour!chan x reader

word count: 1.5k

ryu says: this was!! supposed to be!! a harmless drabble but guess who got carried away again TT—anyhow this is an ambiguous holiday drabble and a teensy gift for you guys in case you need a little breather!

[☃️6:48 P.M.]

“This is the worst holiday ever.” You plunge your shovel into the snow with a frustrated groan, the heap next to your driveway growing precariously high. As far as you’re concerned, all your friends are on the other side of the world — soaking up the sun on a warm, white-sand beach or tropical cruise — and here you are, shovelling your driveway in the middle of what might as well be the worst snowstorm you’ve ever seen, just so you can back your car out and find a decent place to eat dinner. You’ve been snowed in (and feeling sorry for yourself) for the first couple of days of the holidays, sufficiently depleted your fridge, and now you’re starving. 

You scoop up another shovelful of snow, snivelling—you’re not quite sure if your nose is runny because you’re bitter over not thinking ahead and booking your own vacation while you had the chance, or if it’s simply because you’re so damn cold.

You’d pulled on a windbreaker before heading out, convincing yourself that the shovelling wouldn’t take that long—and now it’s soaked through, your bare hands (why hadn’t you thought to put on mittens?) stinging every time you grip the shovel. You can barely feel your face, your expression frozen into a scowl that’d make the Grinch whimper. After an hour of fruitless labour, you’ve barely managed to make a dent in your driveway: every time you finish a section, the falling snow is already forming a new layer. In fact, you’re pretty sure that it’s snowing even harder than when you first started—fat, fluffy clumps of the stuff, coating everything within your line of sight with a thick blanket of white. 

It really would be beautiful, you think numbly, if you weren’t so miserable. Starving, wet, cold, sore, and absolutely miserable.

“C’mon, y/n, you can do this,” you mutter to yourself, flexing your frostbitten fingers as best you can and mustering what little motivation you have left. “Just one clear lane, and then you can—”

A strong gust of wind sends you flying backwards, Christmas-cartoon-style, and you land hard on a patch of ice. Feeling the unpleasant, stinging cold seep into your pants, you watch in horror as the wind sweeps the entire snow pile you had been working on back onto your driveway. With an exasperated cry, you throw your shovel down and it sinks into the snow pile before disappearing, tears beginning to prick at your eyes. 

Just as you begin to contemplate cooping yourself up in your house and starving for the evening, you feel a sudden, warm weight on your shoulders and your hands reach up instinctively to feel a puffy winter parka draped over your shivering frame. You look up, bewildered, and your cheeks begin to burn from something other than the cold.

Next door neighbour!Chan is standing over you, eyebrows raised over drooping eyes—the kind of eyes that always makes him look soft and sleepy—and he smiles, shaking stray locks of curly blond hair from his face. There’s concern in his expression, but you swear you catch a note of amusement as he holds out a hand to help pull you to your feet. He’s holding a steaming mug of hot cocoa in his other hand, and he holds it out to you with a lopsided smile that makes you knees want to give way again. 

“You were shivering pretty bad out there—it’s the least I could do.” Words fail you, your tongue having tied itself into knots, and Chan chuckles, pushing the cup into your hands and patting them lightly. “Warm up for a bit, yeah?”

You manage to stammer out a thank you, and Chan disappears back into his house for several moments before coming back out with a shovel. As he begins scooping the snow back into the pile, you blurt out, “Were you—were you watching me this whole time?” Your mouth goes dry as you flash back to yourself muttering like an angry old man, your hair plastered to your face from the wind and sleet.

Chan stops and looks back, and you’re not sure if he’s winking or just smiling. “My living room window faces your driveway,” he replies simply, eyes sparkling as if they contain a secret joke, “and...you’re pretty hard to miss.”

He turns back and you sputter, the parka—his parka—slipping from your shoulders. Wrapping it tightly around yourself, you take a sip of the hot cocoa, sighing at the warmth that spreads across your chest and fingertips. Your eyes stray to Chan’s silhouette, outlined in the light of the streetlamps. Under his black parka, he’s wearing fuzzy reindeer-print pajama bottoms, and you can’t help but smile.

The few interactions you’ve had with your next-door neighbour were not your proudest moments. Sure, you’ll admit, you’re not the smoothest when it comes to social skills—you have to rehearse your order ten times before the waiter comes, et cetera—but for some reason you can’t quite explain, it gets particularly bad around Bang Chan. 

For instance, one time you were taking out the trash when Chan happened to step out of his house. When you raised your hand to wave at him, you knocked over the lid of the bin and spilled its entire contents onto your entire driveway.

Another time, you were mowing your lawn when he pulled into his driveway. This time, Chan waved first before pulling into his garage, and you stared after him, effectively forgetting about the lawn mower in your hands. 

There’s a permanent patch of dirt on your lawn now, serving as a painful reminder of your own social shortcomings.

It’s not your fault he’s so damn cute! Snapping out of your reverie, you bury your head in your hands. That’s it. You’re cursed with a cute next-door-neighbor, and now you’ve probably wrecked his cozy night in. You glance at his reindeer pajama bottoms again—snowflakes are beginning to stick at the hem—and feel like slapping yourself. After all, who in their right mind would leave their warm home in the middle of a snowstorm to help their crazy neighbour shovel their driveway? You are the worst next-door-neighbour in the history of next-door-neighbours.

Cheeks burning in embarrassment, you carefully set down the mug of hot cocoa before digging your shovel out from underneath the snow pile. Chan’s shovelled a good amount of snow already, and with the two of you working together, your driveway is clear in no time. Chucking the last shovelful of snow onto the pile, Chan raises his shovel in triumph, turning back to face you with a smile you swear is warm enough to melt away all the snow in the world.

Another blast of wind makes you shiver involuntarily, and Chan's expression turns worried. “Are you still cold?” He reaches into his pockets as if fishing for something and pulls out two packets, ripping off the plastic and handing them to you. “Here—these are hot packs. You know how to use ‘em?”

You nod, thanking him, but your fingers are so stiff from the cold you fumble and nearly drop them. After several moments of trying to rub the sachets to activate them, Chan’s warm hands envelopes yours, gingerly helping your wrap your fingers around the hot packs. Your gaze flickers up and you’re startled when your eyes meet his, your breath catching momentarily in your throat.

The sun’s gone down while you were shovelling, the sky darkening behind a veil of grey winter clouds. The snow has stopped, too, leaving your street sparkling and white beneath the pleasantly warm glow of the streetlamps. You’ve never been this close to Chan—you can see snowflakes melting on his lashes, and a cute flush of red (getting darker by the second) on the tip of his nose. He smells like peppermint and coffee, an odd combination that, for some reason, makes you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

It takes you a second to realise that Chan’s been holding your hands for a good couple of minutes now, and you clear your throat, voice coming out surprisingly steady for the first time tonight. “Thanks so much for��for helping me.” You gnaw at your bottom lip, tearing your gaze away. “You should probably head back in before your food gets cold.”

Chan chuckles, removing his hands from yours. “I didn’t make dinner—my fridge is empty.” He glances at your driveway. “Were you going somewhere? Holiday party?”

You laugh. “Not even close. No plans at all—I was going to find a place to eat dinner.” The hot packs are burning in your palms now, and the next words that roll from your tongue surprise even you. “Want to grab a bite together?”

Chan tilts his head, slipping his hands into his pockets with the same lopsided smile that’s always given you butterflies. “I’d like that.”

Maybe this isn’t such a bad holiday, after all.

[every1studio]

wow, I just read your Ateez "stages of love" series and suddenly I'm going emo hours TT it was so beautifully written and that (unexpected) ending had me tearing up lol. good job!!

It's one of my proudest works. Thank you so much!! I don't know if I can ever write a series like that again. 🥺

[mediawhorefics]

Prompt: Based on your own writing, what are you passionate about writing?

working on a few reflections for @authorsworkshop !

What inspired your favourite pieces of your own writing? 

I get inspired by specific vibes/moods/images/scenes a lot when I write. I’ll imagine one scene, or one scene will pop into my head, and suddenly I find myself crafting an entire story to justify it. A lot of the time, I’ll be inspired by the mood of films/shows/books I’ve read and will want to create something that is on the same frequency, if not a full ‘au’ of it. I’ll often then mix it with something personal, either literally or thematically. That’s how stories like ‘coax the cold’, ‘through eerie chaos’  ‘the dead things we carry’ & ‘tired tired sea’ were born. CTC was inspired by stuff like 19th century freak shows/Chris Nolan’s The Prestige but also my own experiences with circuses, working for one for a bit and knowing someone whose parent worked for one and who kinda grew up on the road. TEC was inspired by Doctor Who/Torchwood/Downton Abbey/Kate & Leopold, but also by CTC and it was developed as a companion piece to that story. I wanted to take the idea of sacrifice in CTC and flip it in TEC so Harry would be the character who has to sacrifice something for love this time. TDTWC was inspired by all the wwii films I’ve watched in my life, pride and prejudice, my readings about lgbt people’s experiences in the army during wwii and my own family history. TTS was obviously inspired by an anon I got, but also a lot of it was inspired by my love for Scotland and my sense of belonging there. 

I’m also really inspired by ‘themes’ in general. It’s always really important for me to identify core themes I’m writing about and let that guide me/guide the story.  

What was your experience while writing your favourite fic? What did you enjoy? What was the struggle?

I always struggle with the middle bits. I think plotting is something I can be a bit weak at ? Like... I’ll outline very clearly and have a strong setting up/beginning and I’ll have a really strong third act, but figuring out how to get from point A to C is really difficult for me. I also struggle to put things to paper. I struggle to stop researching and actually start writing. Since I write so much historical fiction/historical aus, it’s really easy for me to get lost into hours of research and not actually work on the piece. So yeah, those are def. struggles that have been present for me writing all of my favourite pieces.

What do your favourite pieces have in common (content, conflict, characterization, setting, genre, etc.)

I think most of the pieces I’m proudest of are stories I wrote with a specific goal/challenge in mind. Something like TEC where I really wanted to try my hand at writing a plot twist. Or CTC where I wanted to improve my descriptions and create a really atmospheric reading experience. I always feel a stronger sense of accomplishment when I’ve tried to do something different than what I did before. Thematically, I think all my stories are about belonging and finding that special place, those special people, where you can be your truest purest self. In terms of setting, I definitely write a lot of historical fiction so a lot of them have that in common. I think when I write romance most of my conflicts tend to be external rather than within the main relationship itself. I like to write about people beating the odds together…. 

When do you feel the happiest/most inspired while writing?

When I’m writing the pay off scenes. I love love love writing big emotional moments, I thrive on it. 

[malaysiankpopfans]

ITZY WARMS THE HEARTS OF SINGAPOREAN MIDZYS AT THEIR PREMIERE SHOWCASE ‘ITZY? ITZY!’

Singapore, 13th December 2019 - During the season of icy-cold weather in Singapore, super rookie group ITZY graced the stage at the Suntec Convention Centre and ultimately made it into a HOT place! While the group is relatively new to the K-POP scene, ITZY has rightfully claimed the title of super rookie having accumulated numerous ‘Best New Female Artist’ awards under their belt.

ITZY opened the show last Friday with their Billboard chart-topper “ICY”, befitting of the abnormally cold weather, and warmed it up with “IT’z SUMMER”. The familiar tunes invited loud fan-chants from Singaporean MIDZYs who were eager to celebrate the group’s first time here.

The Korean sweethearts shared their excitement for the night ahead with MIDZYs. Ryujin hoped for the showcase to be “sweet like kaya”. On the other hand, Yuna made hearts to melt with a heart sign and her signature eye-smile as she wanted the show to be “full of love”.

Carrying on the night with warm fuzzy feelings, Lia quoted MIDZYs as the biggest inspiration for the group, expressing that they feel motivated when people are inspired by their songs. Chaeryeong chose Park Jin Young as her source of inspiration, inviting chuckles from the audience. As a father-like figure to the team, Chaeryeong wishes to learn from him on his “unwavering passion” and the cool image he possesses.

When asked on potential collaborations they wished to embark on, both Ryujin and Yeji named their senior artist TWICE right away. Yeji shared that she’s curious to see the type of synergy that will be formed with the two groups performing together on one stage. Another artist named is solo singer Chungha, who’s best known for her songs “SNAPPING” and “GOTTA GO��. The member jointly expressed that they are fans of the artist. 

As a rookie group who had only debuted earlier this year, ITZY continuously showed gratitude for their fans. Lia chose their debut announcement as their proudest moment to date, seeing how their hard work from their trainee days pulled off to be where they are at now and receiving rookie awards. Chaeryeong feels thankful for fans whenever they receive loud cheers that could be heard through in-ears.

The showcase included “Guess the Song Quiz” where the members revealed their special ability to guess songs quickly. As soon as the songs played on the speakers, members ran over to don a crown for a chance to answer. This segment was packed with laughter from the audience, as we saw their competitive sides unleashed and then coming together as one and dancing as the songs play on.

As if they knew that the audience wanted more, ITZY prepared a medley of cover performances with Twice’s “TT” and GOT7 “CALL MY NAME”. Yuna wanted fans to see their cute side through their cover of “TT” as well as their girl crush persona through GOT7’s song.

The next segment that followed was “All In Us Roulette” which had the members screaming in silence. Standing in one line, the members had to guess the hidden word with earphones on. The twist - the earphones were covered with cute rabbit ears - but that was not the only distraction. The members simply couldn’t stand still with the songs playing in the background and were busy dancing by the side, oftentimes ignoring the game entirely.

As the night approaches its end, a self-made video by Singaporean MIDZYs appears on-screen. Lia expressed her thanks for the fan video, which never fails to make her cry. Ryujin described it as “a touching gift” from fans.

ITZY closed the night off with songs “CHERRY”, “WANT IT?” and “DALLA DALLA”. Before leaving the stage, the members made a promise to MIDZYs that they will come back to Singapore once again for another show. Quoting Chaeryeong’s words, “ITZY's only trust MIDZYs”, we shall wait for their return with faith in ITZY.

Special thanks to One Production for the invite.

Photo Credit: Live Nation Article: Atiqah