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azuresquirrel · 7 years ago

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Alright folks, here is my post of liveblog-y thoughts as I watch these new episodes of Steven Universe that are released and yet also not released at the same time (let me have this one more time: CN IS TERRIBLE). So this entire post under the cut is going to be SPOILER CENTRAL, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Yes, this will be me watching every episode as I do not want to spam people’s dashes with posts of Schrodinger’s Episodes.

I can’t believe there are six goddamn episodes put on an “app” to watch on your GODDAMN PHONE instead of 1. Aired or 2. On a streaming/ondemand service. Fuck it, one more time, I HATE CARTOON NETWORK.

Okay, finally let’s get into it.

“Dewey Wins”

Well we seem to be immediately dealing with the aftermath of the Trial/Homeworld/LARS IS A PINK ZOMBIE adventures. In which everyone looks rightfully concerned except for Steven himself who is talking like is was just another fun adventure. THIS BOY IS REPRESSED AF, SOMEONE GET HIM A THERAPIST. (I mean if he’s going to be therapist to every person in Beach City that means that PROFESSIONALLY he also should have a therapist, IT’S JUST COMMON PRACTICE).

CONNIE ADDRESSING THE EMOTIONAL FALLOUT OF THIS???? THANK YOU.

“We’re safe! Everything’s fine!” YEAH THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE MOST CONCERNED FOR STEVEN THAT I HAVE EVER BEEN. THERAPIST. NOW.

SEE, EVEN LION JUDGES YOUR LIFE CHOICES, STEVEN.

I don’t know where the rest of this episode is going, but Steven cheerfully and INSISTENTLY claiming that “it had to be done” (i.e. giving himself up to Homeworld) … it’s coming across as very Rose Quartz. AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY. Thinking that somehow just because they made the “tough choices” that means that it only affects them and not EVERYONE ELSE.

OH NO SADIE. (I mean I do believe that Lars being off on Pink Zombie Space Adventures is ultimately A GOOD THING for both Lars and Sadie but in the short term of it … oh no.)

I’M GLAD THAT SADIE ASKED IF HE TOLD LARS’S PARENTS (and that he apparently intends to do so after telling Sadie).

Aaaaand this episode just got one hundred times more topical.

IF NANEFUA DOES NOT BECOME THE MAYOR, I WILL BE EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU, SHOW.

I mean yeah, okay, there really isn’t anything Dewey CAN do about homeworld gems but at the same time also, fuck Dewey.

THIS “EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT” IS SOME KIND OF HORRIBLE REBECCA BUNCH-STYLE SPIRAL. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUR MOMS AND DAD?????

“Someone posted it on Tube-Tube.” And 12 people is HALF THE TOWN. AMAZING.

“You’re like the son I never had.” “… you have a son.” This episode is VERY self-aware.

YAY, NANEFUA IS MAYOR.

And very transparent lesson for Steven. “That’s probably how Connie feels.” NO SHIT, SHERLOCK.

… WOAH THEN.

Okay, so if I do have a complaint about this episode, it’s that I don’t think paralleling Steven with Dewey was the best way for Steven to realize that he’s been hurting people. But, I’m glad that it showed the mess that Steven arrived back to in the wake of his actions, especially with Sadie and Lars’s parents,

AND THEN IT STUCK THE LANDING.

WHEN CONNIE DIDN’T PICK UP.

Like it will probably be fixed soon but I’M GLAD IT WASN’T OVER AND DONE WITH IN ONE EPISODE. CONNIE IS RIGHT TO STICK TO HER GUNS. CONNIE FOR PRESIDENT.

“Gemcation”

GOOD, I’M GLAD CONNIE IS STILL STICKING TO HER GUNS.

“Are you good?? Are you safe?? Do you still love me??” GREG YOUR SON NEEDS SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP, JESUS CHRIST.

(yes yes, then there would be no show. THIS IS STILL GETTING TO HORRIBLE “CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND” LEVELS).

“I still have like, $9 million dollars left.” I’M GLAD THIS SHOW DOESN’T FORGET THINGS.

Steven trying to wash dishes by literally rubbing the bottle of soap against them = DEPRESSION.

Okay so 1. FAMILY VACATION IS A GOOD IDEA but also 2. BY THE AWKWARD “WOOOS” THIS IS DOOMED TO DISASTER.

I don’t know what Amethyst was doing with that egg and I don’t want to know.

GOOD JOB COACHING YOURSELF THROUGH THAT, GARNET. A+.

GREG SENDING AMETHYST TO BE FUN MOM FOR STEVEN. A+.

OMG she’s trying to give him a “Steven speech.” SHE’S TRYING HER BEST.

I WANT TO BE IN A HOT TUB WITH GARNET.

Look Steven, I want you to get help, I really do, because you need it, but I could do without YOUR PISSY ATTITUDE GETTING IN THE WAY OF POSSIBLE MORE BACKSTORY ON PINK DIAMOND K THANKS.

YAY THEY’RE ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT HOW TO BE PARENTS TO STEVEN. A+++.

Man things have gotten REALLY bad when your solution to emotional disaster is SEND IN PEARL.

Hmmm … I REALLY do not know right now what to make of Pearl saying that she WANTED Steven to see Homeworld someday WITH HER, so I’m going to leave that there and stew on it for a while.

OKAY, I LAUGHED AT ALL THE RONALDO TEXTS, I ADMIT IT.

Gee, these episodes sure would be effective if they were, I don’t know, SPACED OUT A WEEK OR SOMETHING, LIKE A NORMAL SHOW? SO WE COULD REALLY HAVE SOME TIME PASSING AND SUCH?

Hmph. This episode was good but I must admit that I’m a little frustrated that … well yes Steven would care about Connie THE MOST, that’s fine, but his complete nonchalance about Homeworld … I don’t know. As a stalling tactic to delay more information/reveals, trying to sell it as “Steven is more concerned about his friends than Homeworld stuff” is getting REALLY threadbare after that whole DIAMOND TRIAL/PINK ZOMBIE LARS business. Unless the idea is that he’s repressing the fuck out of it, it is REALLY straining my personal disbelief that Steven WOULDN’T care to know any more at this point.

But all the Greg and Gems parenting stuff was GOOD.

“Raising the Barn”

Oh look. The barn is in the title. Fancy that. I wonder what this will be about.

(CAN YOU GUESS THE THING I WAS SPOILED ABOUT AND AM REALLY REALLY UNHAPPY ABOUT????)

I am REALLY loving this whole “Connie is keeping her distance” thing but AGAIN this would be MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE if this were in a WEEKLY format. (this show doesn’t have bad pacing it has A BAD FUCKING NETWORK)

VIDTIME WITH PERIDOT. A+

LAPIS BLUSHING BECAUSE SHE “WORRIED STEVEN LOST HIS PHONE ON HOMEWORLD.” MY … HEART … .

“Tell us about space!” THIS IS WHY PERIDOT AND LAPIS ARE THE BEST. THEY CARE ABOUT WHAT I CARE ABOUT.

YAY, TRAUMA TIME WITH LAPIS. MY FAVORITE!!!!! (that is actually … both sarcastic but ALSO NOT)

“But they’re installations They need the context of the barn!” I FUCKING LOVE ART LESBIAN PERIDOT.

“There’s not need to get so emotional!” THAT’S THE OCEAN CALLING THE LAKE BLUE, LAPIS.

STRONG WATER WITCH DAUGHTER IS STRONG.

Soooo … . Lapis wants to leave. Peridot does not.

… are they going to break up my OTP?

I AM NOT PLEASED WITH THE DIRECTION THIS IS GOING IN.

ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF THAT FUCKING SPOILER I SAW.

Oh no Pumpkin is ~missing~ how very ~inconvenient~

STEVEN’S FACE IS MY FACE DURING ALL OF THIS.

Oh great. There goes my favorite character.

THAT’S NICE.

Like, obviously everything that happened was completely in-character but fuck it, I’m going to be petty as fuck about this. I AM NOT HAPPY THAT LAPIS IS GONE AND THAT SHE LEFT PERIDOT BEHIND. WHO KNOWS WHEN I’LL GET TO SEE MY WATER DAUGHTER AGAIN. THANKS A LOT, SHOW.

(I WAS SPOILED THAT SHE WOULD LEAVE!!! AND I WAS VERY PISSED!!! I’M STILL PISSED HONESTLY!!!!)

I’M GOING TO BE REAL FUCKING PETTY ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE PROBABLY, SO HEAD’S UP ABOUT THAT.

“Back to the Kindergarden”

So the theme for this season is DEPRESSION.

PERIDOT REPRESENTS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS TURN OF EVENTS.

Still, it’s sweet that Steven let her have the bathroom again.

I DON’T KNOW WHY PERIDOT DEPRESSED = COUNTRY MUSIC, BUT I FIND THAT KIND OF DELIGHTFUL.

THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST I HAVE RELATED TO PERDIOT EVER.

Awwww, Amethyst is still happy about getting to meet all her sisters up in space. That’s sweet!

“You can make us feel dumb by telling us all the stuff we don’t know!” AMETHYST, YOU ARE A GEM IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD.

“My sector of countryside was perfect. Now it’s somewhere in space.” Even aside my own personal pissiness, re: this turn of events, PERIDOT IS STILL PAINFUL. HELP THE NERD GEM.

THE FLOWER IS A METAPHOR.

Yeah “re-gardening the kindergarden” WON’T have disastrous effects, I’m so sure.

OKAY, THEM PLANTING SUNFLOWERS IS SUPER ADORABLE.

“I’m glad I was able to fix something.” And something terrible happened to the garden in 3 … 2 … 1…

YEP.

Me: “and of course the flower was a horrible corrupted gem.” Perdiot: “OH! OF COURSE!” Aaaaah, I love the nerd gem a lot.

YAY SMOKY QUARTZ!!!!

I am … REALLY tempted to make a moodboard out of Peridot’s expression in this whole episode. For they are MY MOOD.

“Yeah. We got the subtext.” = THIS IS A GOOD EPISODE FOR AMETHYST.

Okay THIS episode I really liked. Good messaging about depression, and lots of delightful Steven + Amethyst + Peridot hangout times.

I’M STILL FUCKIGONEGIHE PISSED ABOUT LAPIS THOUGH.

FUCK IT, I WILL MAKE THAT MOODBOARD RIGHT NOW.

Yes I am fully aware of the fucking lack of self-awareness of making a moodboard of depressed/angry Peridot faces when the episode is supposed to be about moving on, I AM WELL FUCKING AWARE.

“Sadie Killer”

WELL THAT TITLE ISN’T FOREBODING AT ALL

I HOPE THIS IS THE CASE OF “MENACING-SOUNDING TITLE IS ACTUALLY FUN GOOFY EPISODE” BECAUSE FRANKLY I COULD USE SOME FUN GOOFINESS RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

Oh great. Sadie is working herself to death alone in the Big Donut. THAT’S JUST GREAT.

YOU SHOULD BE IN THIS CUTE BAND, SADIE. ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM FROM LARS.

Good, I can use some Cool Kid nonsense right now. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE COULD???? SADIE!!!!

“I just feel like this seafood festival needs to hear something challenging and provocative.” I am very happy about this.

DOO-DOO

BUTT

THE GOVERNMENT

CORRUPTS

THIS IS THE KIND OF HARD-HITTING SOCIAL COMMENTARY WE NEED IN THESE TRYING TIMES (ahhhh thank you Buck for putting a smile on my face in the midst of my LAPIS DEPRESSION-ANGER)

WHAT? KEEP AT YOUR PRACTICE SO SADIE CAN PARTICIPATE. YOU GUYS ARE BUTTS CORRUPTED BY THE GOVERNMENT.

Awwww, they came over to her place to jam with her! I RESCIND THE PREVIOUS ASPERSIONS ABOUT YOU GUYS BEING BUTTS.

Can the rest of this movie just be them watching crappy horror movies with Sadie? IT WOULD PLEASE ME.

CHANNELING YOUR ANGST THROUGH SPOOKY SCARY MUSIC – A+++++++++

THIS IS. MY PRECISE CONTENT.

“First, lose your youth to your boring job.” THIS EPISODE IS REAL.

And it ends with … Sadie quitting her job. Um, okay?

BUT I GOT SPOOKY SCARY SONGS WITH SADIE AND THE COOL KIDS AND THAT IS REALLY ALL I ASK FOR AT THIS POINT.

“Kevin Party”

NOT FUCKING KEVIN. REALLY?

THIS WILL ONLY BE ACCEPTABLE IF CONNIE IS IN IT.

Looks like Lion has been staying with Connie this whole time then? GOOD, SHE DESERVES A GIANT ZOMBIE LION TO BE THERE FOR HER.

Ugh, do we REALLY need Kevin to show up for every Stevonnie episode? DO WE?

YOU JERK, HE BROUGHT YOU POCKY.

LOOKS LIKE CONNIE IS DOING JUST FINE WITH HER CUTE NEW HAIRDO.

There is entirely too much Kevin in this episode for my liking.

BLAH BLAH BLAH, EMOTIONAL TALK, FRIENDS AGAIN, THE IMPORTANT THING IS THEY DITCH THE PARTY WITHOUT TURNING INTO STEVONNIE. BECAUSE FUCK KEVIN.

Okay, final thoughts:

THIS CONNIE-FIGHT/DEPRESSION ARC WOULD’VE WORKED BETTER SPREAD OUT FURTHER, BECAUSE THERE WAS JUST A LOT OF DEPRESSION.

“Dewey Wins” – really good as a follow-up episode to all the space stuff, just didn’t think Dewey was the best conduit for the message

“Gemcation” – I very much enjoyed Greg and the Gems trying to be good parents. NOT buying the whole “Steven doesn’t care about Homeworld” shit though.

“Raising the Barn” – I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

“Back to the Kindergarden” – PERIDOT IS ME. This one might be my favorite because it had a good mix of cute stuff and funny Amethyst lines (I didn’t mention it above but “Can I bring my music?”/”NO.” was a real solid laugh from me) and depression stuff, but also, PERIDOT IS ME.

“Sadie Killer” – I hope that ending means Sadie gets a better job soon and not that she’s just … unemployed. BUT I LIKED SADIE’S ANGST THROUGH SPOOKY MUSIC, THAT WAS GOOD STUFF. The Cool Kids were some much-needed levity during this little arc.

“Kevin Party” – I GREATLY dispute the idea that we needed KEVIN to get Steven and Connie talking again, Jesus Christ.

(okay I know we’re back in the “Beach City funtimes” stuff but … Pearl and Garnet were only in ONE of these episodes? REALLY? ESPECIALLY GARNET. DESPERATELY LACKING GARNET FOR FIVE DAMN EPISODES.)

(ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KICK OFF MY FAVORITE CHARACTER)

(SHE’S NOW IN THE “WHO KNOWS” VOID OF MY OTHER FAVES, THE ZIRCONS, SO THANKS A BUNCH FOR THAT, SUGAR WOMAN.)

I don’t know these episodes to me felt mostly … fine. The start of the season was SO FUCKING GOOD with the entire Homeworld arc, and I’m not usually so down on the Beach City episodes as most but … geez there was just a LOT of general down-ness and depression in these episodes. I hope the episodes after this have less down-ness, or not have Steven LITERALLY INTERRUPT POSSIBLE BACKSTORY BECAUSE OF HIS BAD MOOD, THANKS.

… I’M STILL SALTY ABOUT LAPIS. DON’T @ ME.

#su spoilers #steven universe spoilers

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