#not my bestest work ever but it took like a solid hour of my time so im deciding im Going to be proud of it

[urpersonalpublicgalaxy]

nothin super good but i saw this and inspiration struck

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker CH28

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 5,170

- Author Note: A little revelation of their relationship and Seul past. And idk why i wrote this way, but yeah it is what it is lol :< 

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Chapter 28

Taehyung’s outburst earlier this week lasted for few days until Namjoon had enough of it. That night before the Home Festa, he gathered everyone in the practice room to have a real talk. Yoongi and Taehyung had practically ignored each other existence since the incident. None of them showed any interest to make up after the small fight that they had.

Unlike, Jimin and Jungkook, they didn’t prolong the fight with Taehyung since they respected his view and worries. Even though his behaviour towards Seul was unacceptable. Taehyung was looking out for the members. They understood him though they were weirded out by his sudden change. Apart from Jin and Hoseok, Taehyung is the friendliest one among them and to witness him spouting mean things to Seul was a little out of character.

Namjoon pulled himself upright and faced everyone with a deep sigh. Everyone was in dazed, too preoccupied with their own thought. Everything must be resolved tonight or else Armys might notice the tension in the air.

Hesitated, the leader cleared his throat and broke the eerie silence between them “Can we talk about what happen that night? We have been keeping it low until.. I had enough. Both of you, care to explain what happen back then? Tae, why are you venting your anger on Seul? We could talk it out instead of yelling at the poor girl..” every nerve in his tense body screamed for relief, he finally said it out.

They heard Yoongi scoffed maintaining his hard gaze on the floor. He never agreed on how Taehyung vented his anger without solid reason on Seul as if her feelings didn’t matter in this. If he were to find someone to blame, Yoongi is ready to hear anything came from Taehyung. Her tears pained him.

Others remained silent, some were shifting uncomfortable in their seats wanting to escape from this room. The youngest one looked miserable realizing this useless fight started because of him and Jimin. They were partially at fault too. Another thing was that, he couldn’t reach Seul for few days now. She ignored every text and call that he made.  

Apart from the silent treatment, Seul tended her job as if nothing happens however she avoided meeting any of them. It simply means, she had rescheduled her work back to her normal work hours. There was no more breakfast for them early in the morning. Seul had stopped coming after her night shift. They didn’t blame her for that, anyone would be acting that way after all. She felt responsible and guilty over everything even though she did nothing but to look after the boys only to get yelled without consulting her. This was another level of absurdity.

Annoyed, Jin snapped “Kim Taehyung, answer him. What the hell is wrong with you?” the younger guy took a deep breath looking like a lost lamb.

“I don’t like the idea of our members falling for the same girl. It is too disturbing even though they agreed to play it fair, with Yoongi hyung in the picture. Don’t you think this is getting serious than before?” his face contorted in confusion and anger.

Jungkook and Jimin exchanged a serious look before keeping their gaze fixated on Yoongi “Yoongi hyung likes Seul?” Jimin murmured in tones of disbelief. They were trying to reconfirm the older guy’s unspeakable affection towards Seul back then. It finally cleared all the doubts in them.

Yoongi likes Seul.

“I am not surprised” said Hoseok, sighing softly.

Jungkook looked at Yoongi again with a disbelief look “Is it true?”  he questioned slowly. Yoongi drew a sharp breath, gathering his guts to meet the maknae’s eager eyes “I am sorry Guk. I thought it can be stopped. Fuck… it is complicated” he combed his hand through his hair expelling his worries.

“O…kay…” he slouched in his seat, relieved and disappointed. Disappointed that he didn’t realize it sooner, until Taehyung needed to outline it out for him. If he could talk this thing with Yoongi, they could come up with something without endangering the whole group.

Or.. he could stop himself from liking Seul.

His feelings only complicate things.

“I thought you like Seul too Tae?” Namjoon inquired drawing everyone’s attention to the star of the night. Taehyung’s looked pale digesting the leader bias question who seemed to be attacking him. He went on, “I remember you talked about a lady from the photo that you captured. You printed it out and framed the photo. Don’t you like her too?” Yoongi snapped his head sending wary glance at his way.

Taehyung stammered “I…I don’t-That was a small crush that I have for her until I learned about Jungkook and Jimin feelings for Seul. Things will get complicated if I make a move on her” he expelled a long sigh.

“You are denying your feelings for her, so you come up with those nonsense that you said to her that night, just to ease yourself?” Yoongi snarled lowly keeping his gaze on the flustered guy.

His eyes twitched in frustration “ I am stating the fact. For now, it is all rainbows and sunshine, you are in love. What if one day she has to make a choice? What are you going to do about that huh? Are you really okay with her choosing one of you over another? Her action will divide us and set us against each other. What happen to the promises that we made back then? We never let ridiculous things like this affect our work and friendship… Yoongi..hyung..we have never gotten into any serious fight since we first debuted. I thought our relationship is making a progress” tears were in his eyes, but he tried to look brave.

To be reminded by all the memories that they shared together, there was no doubt Taehyung made a point there. Yoongi and Taehyung were not the bestest friend in the group, nowadays they had resolved those issues and became closer than ever. Fans showed their love towards the couple and they even came up with a couple name for them, Taegi.

The silly Taegi.

The loveable Taegi.

The blooming love between Taegi.

Taegi was the beginning of a new relationship. It was magical.

Yoongi’s fist curled up into a ball, he felt his body tense digesting every word came from Taehyung without leaving any behind. It came to his realization; Taehyung ultimate fear was to see everyone turning their back against each other.

Namjoon leaned his back against the mirror, watching the two adults mending their almost broken friendship. Everyone seemed intrigued to see the things unfold in front of them. This was the perfect time to vent out everything.

Yoongi forced the words out from his mouth “I am sorry Tae.. I am not aware of your worries, but I choose to be ignorant instead. That’s very inconsiderate of me to do that. About my feelings for Seul, I- that was a mistake. I know Jimin and Jungkook have made it clear about their feelings.. I am sorry for that…for liking her” he glanced at both of them with an apologetic look.

“It is just…Her tears pained me. When you made Seul cries, I couldn’t stop myself from thrashing you. I should not have let my feelings cloud my judgement. I am so fucked up” he continued, followed by a low grunt.

They fell into silence. The rest of the members looked at one another, amazed. This thing with Yoongi had never been this serious. Occasionally, Yoongi would tell them what he felt but just enough to leave them in vain. Yoongi is not the type of person whom expressed his feelings openly especially with the members.

This was by far the deepest things that he ever shared with them.

It rendered them breathless.

“We can’t make you hate her hyung. It is your feelings” Taehyung paused few seconds before he took the courage to say it aloud “I am concerned of our future. We have come this far, and this relationship issue bound to happen anyways. I didn’t expect it would end up this way, with half of the members in the group liking the same girl. The thought of losing all of you over this.. it petrified me” Taehyung blinked his tears away, rubbing his sore eyes in hope to hide it from others.

Jimin slid his arm around his best friend shoulder “Tae..I am sorry to make you worry of such thing. I know you are worried of us.. I am sorry for falling in love carelessly. That is not my intention to hurt the group, Seul and you in process” Jungkook fiddled with his fingers, looking a little shaky.

Smiling weakly, he squished Jimin’s hand meeting his deep gaze “It is not your fault, I am overreacting. I keep it to myself…instead of letting it out” Jungkook on the other hand feeling overwhelmed by the whole thing. He did not know how to react to everything that his hyungs had said and up until now, he sucked in showing his emotion.

“Jung are you alright?” Jin touched his back, scrutinizing his solemn expression.

As soon as all eyes on him, he burst into tears panicking everyone in the room. The sobs were stifled at first as he attempted to hide his grief, then overcome by the wave of his emotions and he ended up crying for real. “Kookie… Jungkook why are you crying?” Jimin went to his side, pulling the younger boy into a tight embrace.

Taehyung and Yoongi’s faces loses colour knowing this talk happened tonight was due to their absurd feud. If it weren’t for the incident that night, they would not have this talk and the maknae wouldn’t be crying. Jungkook clutched onto Jimin’s back, burying face in his shoulder “Okay calm down, take your time...” Jin eyes shot open, looking alarmed in his seat.

It took Jungkook a while to stop crying completely, and each of the members were already on their feet pacing back and forth in the cold room. Did Jungkook finally have enough of this drama and pressure around him? Jungkook wouldn’t shed his tears easily unless it was their concert.  When Jimin first caught Jungkook cried his heart out in their dorm a year ago, the older guy thought he was fooling around. He made fun of him until he realized Jungkook was crying for real. To his utter astonishment, the tears were genuine, and he found out Jungkook was missing his family.

Aged 14, Jungkook left his home to chase his dreams. This young man had to live in a hard way, ditching his teenage life to be part of Bangtan Sonyeondan. The members had raised him together. From an introvert and shy boy, Jungkook grew as a fine man with good manners.

He was indeed a golden maknae to them.

The members cherished the youngest member with all their heart.

“Hyungs, this is all because of me. I thought if I make friend with someone which is not in our circle will make me feel more human. I never thought of our career as a joke, in fact I love to be here, I love everyone, I love us… But for some reason I feel empty. Despite everything that I have all these years, it is never enough for me. I am craving for something, something that makes me feel real. Not BTS Jungkook but the real Jeon Jungkook. Until I meet Seul. It is all started with a mere admiration. I’m curious of her life. She looks happy and free. At first, Seul is my muse. I admired her from afar. I got greedy and decided to make a move on her, we became friends. I let myself fell into her deeper, I let her into my heart” he confessed.

Namjoon shoved his phone in his pocket taking the maknae’s words seriously. Jungkook continued not long after “I understand if you feel I am such a disappointment to the group. I.. got distracted by the unpromising future that I may have with Seul. I shouldn’t have done that, I am sorry…hyung.. ” he whispered, hanging his head low.

“Shut that mouth of yours. You called yourself a disappointment again, I will chop your tongue” Yoongi crossed his arms, glaring furiously. He hated it when one of the members downgrading themselves. They were not supposed to feel that way. It was wrong.

Jin gritted his teeth together mouthing Yoongi to be nice but only to be ignored by the grumpy guy. Why is he like this? Jin screamed mentally, annoyed by Yoongi demeanour.

“You are not a disappointment to your group Jungkook” a familiar voice rose from the other side of the room garnered the boys’ attention. They blinked in confusion as they realized the owner of the voice stood frozen at the entrance with a deep frown evident on her forehead.

“Seul..?” Jungkook flinched at the sight in front of him.

Namjoon walked up to Seul, taking her hand in his, leading the way to the centre of the room “I told her to come. We can’t solve this without her. Taehyung owed her an apology after all. For calling her a bitch” he stressed the last word sternly, causing the younger guy shifted uncomfortably.

“I know all of you have been playing this blame games and probably tired, to hear this thing again. If you want to find someone to blame, then it is me. I am nobody in your life. Your friendship is precious, don’t let me taint it. I come into your life and cause misunderstanding. If I didn’t lead any of you on, this wouldn’t happen. I am sorry” Seul scanned their faces one by one and as her gaze landed on Taehyung, he tore his eyes from meeting hers.

Taehyung felt utterly disappointed of himself, for hurting Seul without thinking straight.

Seul exhaled deeply as she took the cue to continue “I enjoyed your company, each one of you. I have never been so happy in life until I met you guys. Thank you for that. Your music gives me strength. I.. don’t want to ruin your friendship. I don’t want to be in the middle of this mess. Let’s get back to square one. Pretend like we never know each other. Pretend that your caretaker is my mother. It will give you time to forget me. I believe you will get over the fact that I used to be your caretaker” her lower lips quivered, holding back the tears in her eyes.

Jimin shook his head “Seul-ah..I don’t-“ Seul spoke before he could finish. “Don’t worry, I will still work as your caretaker until my mom gets better. I will not neglect my duties. I will still cook for you” her voice broke in the end letting her emotion took over her mind.

“Just…we should..stop meeting each other like this” she closed her eyes as her tears rolled down hitting the ground.

Yoongi let out a disapproval groan “Are you suggesting us to forget you? To act as if you have never existed? Aren’t you being selfish? What about me? What about Jungkook and Jimin? So our feelings don’t matter here? What about others who see you as a friend and a sister?” brimming with tears, Yoongi looked hurt.

“Yoongi, If we stay this way..I cant make a choice. I can���t choose. I can’t hurt any of you” she said desperately. Her broken dams once again pained Yoongi. He hated to see those tears on her face.

Jungkook uttered stubbornly “We didn’t ask you to choose. Stay with us just like this. Don’t leave us” he looked away, feeling defeated.

“Jungkook.. Taehyung was right. We can’t stay like this forever. When the time comes, what will happen to all of us? I don’t want to risk this. Since everything is still new, let’s put it a stop. We just have to restart everything and pretend it never happen” Seul rubbed her arms expelling a heavy sigh in process.

This time around Jimin arose from his seat, lurching towards Seul causing the latter to take a cautious step backwards “Put it a stop? Are you toying with our feelings? Do you think this is a joke? Does it look like we are fooling around when we confess to you? Are you really just a bitch just like Taehyung claimed you to be?” Seul felt a pang in her heart. Her heart hardened swiftly.

“PARK JIMIN” he heard his hyungs protest behind him showing their disapproval with the choice of his words. The latter did not care of his surrounding, he wanted to set this thing straight. First, he had to make sure this girl knew she’s taking such a stupid decision.

Seul everted her gaze and stared blankly on the cold ground. She collected her thought refusing the memory of her father attacking her sane again. Why was thing happening to her every time she’s with them?

“Ji Seul, answer me. Are you really just bitching around?” Jimin grabbed her arms to gain her attention yet she stood still without uttering anything. She sucked in a breath and dipper her head, almost afraid he could read her uncertainty.

Seul tried to put a little space between them, but his arms were like band of ions. Jimin’s questions stirred up bitter memories in her. She tried hard to resist the memory from coming out, yet she failed.

 7 years ago

15 years old Ji Seul skidded home happily after getting her result. She was over the moon to show her excellent report card to her mother. Despite a rough year she had to face at home, she was able to make it out alive. She wouldn’t let it affect her studies.

Few months ago, she discovered the truth about her mother secret pregnancy. It turned out that her mother had been lying about her pregnancy from everyone. Mrs Hwang slept with his husband’s best friend and because of the mistakes that she committed, Seul happened. Mrs Hwang was afraid to reveal the truth since she’s already engaged to his husband that time, she didn’t want to ruin the future that they planned to build together. If she were to reveal the truth, Seul had to grow up without a father.

Her world falls apart. She had no one to tell leaving her with no choice but to lie for the baby inside her growing belly.

Hence, she told no one about it not even the man who’s responsible for her pregnancy.

The lies went on for years until that day his husband found out about the secret pregnancy from Seul’s birth certificate. For an odd reason, his name was not indicated clearly on the birth certificate making him question about Seul’s real father. Mrs Hwang might be lying to her husband about the baby, however she wouldn’t change the fact that Seul is someone else daughter.

One day, she meant to unravel the truth.

She didn’t have any intention to keep it from Seul forever. She was rather unlucky that her husband had to discover the truth this way. Ji’s household was a real mess after the revelation of a child born out of wedlock. Her father stopped coming home for a while. He quit his jobs and ruined their life. Mr Ji started to gamble, trashing his life for alcohol. He changed from a loving father to a hot-tempered man. He would only come back home when he has no money to gamble.

Mrs Hwang endured the pain from the beating and sometimes, the older man would vent it out on innocent Seul. She came to aid her mother every time her father flew into rage. It ended up pretty badly, as long as she’s able to protect her mother from his wrath, she was fine with it.

Twisting the doorknob with a gleeful smile, her step died upon seeing two grown up men sitting casually in the living room. The smells from the expensive cigars burnt her lungs. She didn’t like it at all.

One of the men was her evil father and she studied the stranger face beside him, he looked like he’s in early 40’s and he was dressed nicely in his black tux. The man looked filthy rich and dangerous. Seul bowed politely as a courtesy, when she about to leave, her father tugged her wrist putting her steps at halt.

“Where are you going?” he said dryly.

Seul sighed “My room? I want to find mother” his grip on her wrist tightened, fearing Seul.

“I want you to meet my friend. This is Mr Kwon. And, this is the girl that I have been talking about, Seul. She is 15 and fresh. Don’t worry, I am letting you to take her as your bitch as long as you pay me handsomely. I don’t need this bitch in my life anyway” his disgusting low voice making Seul sick in the stomach. She shuddered in fear as she struggled to escape from his strong grasp.

The man put down his cigar stub on the empty plate, scanning Seul’s body from head to toes. A sly smirk played across his face as he reached out to caress her cheeks “Pretty. The thought of owning this girl excites me. How much?” his eyes never left Seul as he continued to undress her with his eyes.

She cried helplessly begging to be released but her father showed no sympathy on her. He loathed her to the core. If by getting rid of Seul would satisfy him, that’s what he about to do.

“How much you are willing to pay for this bitch?” Seul winced in pain when she attempted to pull her hand from him. Closing her eyes tight, she prayed that everything was only a bad dream.

Bitch, I am just a bitch to him. She broke down.

“Enough for me to own her to myself”

“Don’t worry once I get the money. She is yours”

 Her breath hitched at the memory, Seul clasped onto something for support and that something happened to be Jimin’s arms. Jimin looked at her worriedly “Seul-ah…Are you alright?” her body shook vigorously, holding onto her breath. She felt a painful knot in his stomach and throat.

She knew exactly what’s coming to her. Panic attack.

“Seul-ya!” Jin called out, running to their side watching her body limping weakly against Jimin.

The image of breathless Seul brought on a surge of guilt in Jimin. “Seul.. Seul.. what happen?” body shaking with strain, his eye slocked on her face. “Goddamit, do something!” everyone spooked out did not know what to do until Hoseok stepped in with a deep frown.

Jimin held onto Seul’s body closed to him as the girl was practically clinging onto his shirt tightly, breathing heavily “Panic attack. It is panic attack. I had this once after BBMAS” his voice rose one octave convincing the member to trust his judgement.

“Okay, panic attack” Namjoon knelt beside Jimin, studying her expression. “What should we do Hoseok?” his eyes widened to hear her rapid breathing. Her eyes watered, blinking rapidly with hope to restore herself from this. She couldn’t do it. Not that she loses hope of herself, but the pain engulfed her heart making things harder for her to think all the good things and stay calm.

He blurted out “She said, if we hold our breath, it could stop your panic attack” Yoongi grew frustrated over Hoseok’s vague direction. “How the fuck we do that? She looked like she’s about to pass out” he glowered.

Jungkook bit his nails anxiously, scared if anything happened to the girl in Jimin’s embrace. He wouldn’t forgive himself if she got hurt. Everyone in this room would be held responsible.

“Well… she kinda kiss me to stop my panic attack” he hesitated to tell them about the moment he had with Seul. “What!” the members said in unison looking dumfounded. He hid himself behind Jin’s broad shoulder and cleared his throat to ease the awkwardness “Since I couldn’t do it by my own, she… took the matter in his own hand. This is no time fight, someone kiss her!” he exclaimed.

Once again panic took over the room, they had no idea what to do. Seul closed her eyes once again, clutching onto Jimin’s arm. She forced out the happy memory that she had with her friends and mother, yet it only to add more pain to her already bleeding heart.

“Someone do something!” Namjoon tapped his feet nervously.

Jungkook, Jimin and Yoongi exchanged a meaningful glance as if pushing each other to make the move but they didn’t realize the clock was ticking. Displeased with the trios’ hesitation, Jin grunted lowly and collected Seul in his large hands.

It garnered the trios’ attention towards the eldest member, the look that they had on their face was a mixture of disapproval and fear. Seul felt the warmth around her, but she was too tired to open her eyes.

“Seul..focus.. Steady your breathing” Jin whispered softly, the girl recoiled under his touch as he leaned in. His nose bumped into hers, then a second later their lips met. She felt a slight tremor from course through her as he felt Jin sucking her soul away rendering her breathless. It really worked on her as she was caught of guard by the kiss.

Every part of her body felt both alert and relaxed. Jin’s soft yet plump lips against her felt so wrong yet so right. His kiss mesmerized her, stopping time and clouding logic. The remaining members stood there watching Jin did his thing with a mixed feeling. Part of them wanted to smack Jin and pulled him off her, yet they had no idea if the kiss actually worked. They couldn’t risk this.

How long is he going to lock her lip with his. Yoongi rubbed his back head in frustration. He could have done it instead of making the older guy doing the job. Goodness, if and only Jungkook and Jimin weren’t so adamant about respecting each other feelings.

Jin pulled away, leaving her breathless “It works” he stroked his thumb over her moist lips.

Seul blushed madly upon realizing the whole situation. Jimin smacked Jin’s hand away making the older guy to release Seul’s face. “Seul-ah, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have said that thing again. Shit, I was frustrated and angry. I am sorry” she gasped softly when Jimin embraced her tightly. It was a little too tightly actually.

“Ji- Jim-..Jimin can’t breathe” she coughed a little as the clumsy guy released her examining her body, lifting her arms and cupping her cheeks. “Oh god, I am sorry Seul.. did I hurt you anywhere?” she chuckled softly.

Seul sighed “I am alright Jims. Don’t worry”

Jungkook glanced at her in bafflement, probably was still shock after Jin’s bold move few minutes ago. He had to hold the urge to pull his hyung’s hair one by one. The revenge would come soon, Kim Seokjin.

Yoongi let out a sigh of relief, as he handed the plain water to her “Drink. You need to cleanse your mouth from Kim Seokjin’s dirty breath” he rolled his eyes earning a loud smack against his back by the one and only Kim Seokjin.

“Yah! Min Yoongi are you insulting me!”

Seul cringed at the loud voice, quickly took the drink from Yoongi “Thank you..” she softly muttered.

 Everyone scattered in the room after the confrontation taking a small break since they didn’t want to overwhelm Seul. She was sitting at the corner cross legged watching the boys having their private talk with each other. On her right side, Jungkook, Jimin and Yoongi were immersed in their conversation. She wondered if she was the main topic since they kept on stealing a glance at her way. Whilst, Namjoon and Hoseok were making fun of Jin trying to be heroic, saving her ass a moment ago.  

Gosh, that was embarrassing. She really hated herself from allowing such things happened to her again.

Her eyes darted off across the room looking for Taehyung. To her disappointment he was nowhere to be seen, she grew frustrated over it. Seul wanted to see him to wash off this guilt inside her. That was the only way to not let herself live in this unbearable pain.

“Are you looking for me?” Taehyung low mumbled could only be heard by her as he settled down beside her. Seul played with her fingers searching for inspiration to spark the conversation with Taehyung. She valued her friendship with him but when it slowly shattered this way, it hurt her in so many ways. She wondered why it really affect her.

Taehyung had to take a deep breath before he could even speak. His fingers unconsciously linked with hers “I felt pretty terrible for causing this and putting you in an uncomfortable situation. I know it is not your fault that those three men falling head over heels for you. I am being too harsh on you. Forgive me Seul?” she linked their fingers together.

“You don’t have to apologize. I am sorry for being selfish” she expelled a sigh of relief because Taehyung finally opened up to her. “I know you are uncomfortable with this whole thing, I have think of this thoroughly. Just like I said I will pre-“Taehyung hushed her by pressing his long slender fingers against her lips.

She was taken aback by his gentle move “Don’t..Take back your words. Don’t leave. If you leave now, it will only hurt us. We don’t want you to leave us. I know we are taking such risk by letting you in, but we cant afford to lose you. We will manage this Seul-ah. In the future, whatever happens we know…we are confident with our friendship. Let the time be the judge. Lets just enjoy the present and live our life as it is” he traced her jawline, to her cheeks.

“Taehyung…I..” she was touched by his kind words. His gentleness, his strong gaze and his deep voice, it was alluring him.

“Trust me. Trust us. We are BTS. We have gone through bunch of shits together, it only makes us stronger. Stay with us, make us feel more human. Only you can do that, Seul” he caressed his cheeks and quickly wiped the small tears which started to roll down again wetting her cheeks.

The members were firstly engrossed in their own things were watching two of them closely. They could finally breath a clear air now that Taehyung and Seul had reconciled. There were a lot of things happening in one day. With Yoongi and Jungkook unusual side that they’d never seen before, Seul’s making an appearance at the company helped to unravel everything.

They looked forward to this blossoming relationship with Seul.

The present sounded interesting to live from now on.

This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved

[fallen-imagine-angel]

Journalism Club - Peter Parker x Reader

Notes: Here it is, the fluff fic I promised! I hope you guys enjoy reading this because I loved writing it! I’m actually really happy with how this one turned out. I hope it satisfies after the heavy angst I just hit you guys with. As always, asks/DMs/requests are almost always open so drop on in!

Summary: Peter Parker joins your journalism club and helps you save it from getting shut down.

Journalism Club

Peter Parker x Reader

Requested?: Haha no.

Word Count: 3,616

Warnings: cleaning wounds, that’s about it. FLUFF! :) (btw (Y/n/n) means your nickname)

You watch as the school newspaper bin stays full the entire week, not a soul stopping by to take one and read it.

Sigh. It’s not like you worked hard on it or anything.

“I’m sorry, Miss (Y/l/n), but I can’t continue the journalism club if you’re the only member and no one reads the newspaper.” Your principal, Mr. Davis, tells you.

“Mr. Davis, please, give me another chance. I’ll get the people to read it, I swear! And I- I’ll start a...a sign up sheet and put it in the hallway, advertising for the club!” You promise, scrambling for last minute ideas. You couldn’t get this taken away from you.

“Fine. One more chance, that’s all I’m giving you. If you don’t get people to read the school newspaper by the end of the semester, and if you’re still the only member, then I’m sorry but I’ll be forced to shut down the club.” He sighs, resting his head in his hands.

“Yes, sir. I’m on it. Thank you.” You grin and run out of his office, heading straight toward the classroom where you keep your journalism equipment.

Blinded by the need to save the club, you run straight into a boy on your way.

“I’m so sorry--” You and the boy say at the same time.

“No, really, I’m sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” You apologize, helping the boy up. You don’t have time to hear the rest, though, because once he’s on his feet you’re gone again.

You shove open the door and get to work, starting on a sign-up sheet to be posted in the hallway. 

~+~

The next day, you post your sign-up sheet. 

You spend the entire day walking by the sign-up sheet purposefully, watching the lines fill up with signatures.

Or, you would, if the sign-up sheet was filling up with signatures. Instead, you go up to it at lunch and read the zero names that have been written down.

You hang your head in defeat, staring at the sheet for a little bit longer before heading to your journalism room. The job wouldn’t do itself, after all, and you still have the rest of the semester to provide newspapers.

~+~

The next morning, you go to the sign-up sheet to tear it down. What’s the point, anyway? If no one was going to sign up for the club, then it shouldn’t waste wall space in the hallway.

As you approach it, though, you see one name scribbled on the first line.

Peter Parker.

“Who’s Peter Parker?” You mumble to yourself, taking the sign-up sheet off the wall and bringing it back to the journalism room. You set it on your work desk and go through a list of people you know.

Peter Parker doesn’t ring a bell.

~+~

Finally, the class hour for journalism rolls around. You head straight to the journalism room, finding a boy already standing in there. You drop your stuff on your desk rather loudly and he turns to face you, eyes wide.

“Sorry, this is the journalism classroom. Can I help you?” You mutter, taking out your computer to get to work. You vaguely recognize the boy.

“Yeah...I, uhm, I’m Peter Parker. I signed up for journalism yesterday?” He introduces himself. Then it hits you.

He was the boy you ran into the other day in the hallway.

“Oh! Sorry for being rude, most people don’t really take it seriously. I’m (Y/n) (Y/l/n), nice to meet you, Peter. I think...I think I ran into you in the hallway the other day?” You point out, cheeks burning in embarrassment but you need to know if it’s the same guy.

“It’s fine, I get it. And yes, you did run into me. That’s okay, too, though.” He smiles, causing you to smile back.

“Great. Let’s get to work! We need to create a school newspaper for next week. I will warn you, the school newspaper doesn’t really get read a whole lot, if at all. Don’t be disappointed when most of the papers are still there at the end of the week.” You inform him ahead of time.

“That’s fine.” He nods. You smile at him.

“Perfect!” The two of you spend the rest of the time working on the newspaper together. You didn’t think it would work very well since you have to get used to working with a partner instead of alone, but you both took it in stride. 

You found out very quickly that you work well with Peter.

~+~

A few weeks later, you’re being plagued by the fact that you still have to figure out a way for the student body to start actually reading your school newspapers. You haven’t brought it up to Peter yet, although you probably should.

On the other hand, you and Peter had become best friends through this journey. You hadn’t realized how lonely you were until he showed up and ever since, you two had become inseparable.

“(Y/n), you okay?” Peter asks as you walk into the journalism room, dropping your bag onto the floor with a huff.

“Fine.” You groan, falling into your chair.

“You don’t look fine. What’s up?” He sits on the edge of your desk, pen in hand.

“It’s just...okay, listen, before you even got here...Principal Davis threatened to shut down the journalism club if I didn’t figure out a way to interest the student body enough to read it by the end of the semester.” You explain, burying your face in your hands.

“Well...I have an idea.” He hums. You peek at him through your hands.

“What is it?” You grunt, not really in the mood for some lame idea that you’ve already thought of.

“We could get an exclusive interview with Spider-Man to put in our newspaper.” He smiles innocently, giving you the smallest bit of hope.

“Yeah, that’d be great, Peter! One problem, though. We don’t have contact with Spider-Man, so how would that happen?” You growl, covering your face again.

“(Y/n/n)...I have my Stark internship. I’ll just ask Spider-Man next time I see him if he’ll do me a solid and set up a weekly interview with you.” Peter sets a hand on your shoulder. You take your head out of your hands.

“Seriously? You’d do that for me?” Your eyes light up. If you get this interview, it would make your school newspaper blow up.

“Of course I would. I’d do anything for you.” He grins, nudging your shoulder.

“Aww, thanks! You’re the bestest best friend ever!” You giggle, hugging him.

“You, too.” He shoots back, scrunching up his nose. You laugh.

“Okay, as for the interview thing, just tell me his answer once you’ve asked him. Take your time, though, it’s not super urgent. We still have a couple of months.” You smile, bringing out your computer and getting to work on your newspaper.

“Will do.” 

~+~

That night, you get a text from Peter.

Pete: Just talked to Spider-Man. He said yes! Can you do late night on Monday night? He said he’ll swing by your apartment. 

You: Seriously?? How’d you get Spidey to say yes?? Also, absolutely! Give him my address. By late night does he mean like early morning hours?

Pete: I didn’t really have to do anything besides ask to get him to say yes. And he said probably early morning hours. I gave him ur address. You doing good?

You: Better now that the newspaper will probably be read now. Ur a lifesaver, Pete! <3

Pete: Just being a good best friend. Love you, goodnight.

You: Love you too, night.

You fall back onto your bed, giddy as can be. You actually have an interview with the Spider-Man.

Your club won’t last just another semester with this exclusive interview column.

~+~

The weekend goes by as slow as possible since you have something to look forward to on Monday for once. Not to mention school on Monday is more of a nightmare than usual. Peter made it better, though. He usually does.

You’re sitting on the bed of your apartment, waiting for Spider-Man to show up. It’s about two in the morning.

There’s a tap on your window. You spin around and see the red and blue clad superhero hanging upside down outside your window. You grin and open it up, letting him crawl in.

“Hey, there.” He uses his voice changer, probably so you won’t know who he is if you ever see him in real life.

“Hi! I’m (Y/n) (Y/l/n), pleased to meet you.” You stick out your hand.

“Uh...Spider-Man, the pleasure’s all mine?” He laughs, shaking your hand. You pull out the chair from your desk as he sits down on your bed.

“Before we get started, is it okay if I record this conversation?” You ask.

“Absolutely.” He nods immediately. 

“Great. So, Spider-Man, is it okay if I call you Spidey? I dunno, that’s probably overstepping. Forget I said anything--”

“Spidey is fine. For you, anyway. I don’t want random people calling me Spidey but I feel like we’re friends at this point.” He chuckles at your nervous rambling. You almost faint.

You’re friends with Spider-Man.

“Okay, cool. So, Spidey, is there a certain thrill to saving people from danger? Like, an adrenaline thing, so to speak?” You ask, holding your tape recorder out to him so it’ll pick up what he says.

“I’d say yeah, there is, but that’s not why I do it.” He answers.

“Why do you do it?” You ask, writing down stuff in your notebook with your other hand.

“I do it because...well because I want to see the city safe. This is my home, too, and I want to see the people in New York City living life to their fullest and knowing that I helped people do that. I don’t want anyone to have to fear the streets.” He explains. You look up at him for a second, glad that he’s not secretly a jerk under the mask.

He’s doing good for the right reasons.

“I’m glad to hear that. Do you personally know Tony Stark, aka Iron Man? And what about Peter Parker?” You ask next. He laughs.

“Yes, yes I do know both of them. Tony Stark is my mentor in being a superhero. I know Peter because I’ve seen him do a few jobs around the compound. He’s a cool kid, you know.” You swear he’s smiling under the mask.

“Oh, I know it. Peter’s my best friend.” You say, mostly off the record since it doesn’t have much to do with the interview.

“Yeah, he’s talked about you a bit.” Spider-Man nods.

“Really?” You quirk an eyebrow, only half-listening as you write things down.

“Yeah, says you’re his best friend and stuff. Thinks you’re really cool.” The eyes of his suit blink slowly. You nod.

“Glad it’s mutual then. He’s the best.” You smile and look up at Spider-Man, seeing him already staring at you intently. You press the stop button on your tape recorder.

“Spidey...can I ask you a personal question? I swear I won’t ask who you really are under the mask, I won’t overstep that boundary ever, but I do want to know...how old are you?” You whisper, putting down your pen to let him know that this is between you and him, no one else.

“Promise not to put this in your newspaper?” He asks, and you hear the slight quiver in his voice. He wants to trust you.

“Promise. You can have Peter look over the column before I put it out.” You swear. He nods.

“Okay. To keep things less narrowed in, I’ll tell you that I’m in high school. I’m, uh, I’m in your grade.” He tells you. Your eyes go wide.

“Holy crap. For real? Do you go to my school?” You gasp.

“I can’t tell you that. For all you know, I could be homeschooled by Tony.” He reminds you. You nod.

He’s a superhero under Tony Stark, of course, he has private tutoring from the billionaire.

“Right. Sorry, overstepping. Anyway, let’s get on with the interview.” You find yourself nervously blushing.

Oh no.

No.

You’re falling for Spider-Man.

~+~

The next day, you bound into journalism class with a giddy grin on your lips.

“You okay?” Peter laughs as you sit down in your chair, the smile not leaving your lips the entire time.

“Better than okay. We’re going to save this newspaper and...Spider-Man is actually really cool.” You blush, starting to type on your computer.

“Yeah? Did he say anything about me?” Peter jokes.

“Actually, he did. He said you’re really cool and that you talk about me a lot.” You tease, sticking out your tongue at him.

“What can I say? All true things.” He kids, shooting you finger guns. You shoot them back and both start to get to work.

~+~

The next few weeks go by exactly like that, and your newspaper has gotten more and more reads every week. The student body is loving the Exclusive Spider-Man column and your club is saved. Principal Davis even said he was considering promoting the club on the school website.

Things have been going great with Spider-Man, too. He comes every Monday night at about one or two in the morning and the two of you talk until almost four or five in the morning. You’ve lost a lot of sleep on Monday nights because of it, but you wouldn’t change it for the world. 

In fact, you’ve developed a not so small crush on the superhero.

It’s currently a Thursday night and you’re already excited for Monday again.

You go to sleep with the thought of your next interview on your mind.

~+~

You wake up in the middle of the night to tapping on your window. You groan and get up, seeing Spider-Man tapping at your window.

“Spidey? Am I dreaming, because you’ve never come on a Thursday night before.” You yawn, opening up your window. He tumbles through, clutching his side. You see your carpet start to stain with blood.

“Holy-- you’re bleeding. Oh my gosh.” You gasp. You run to the bathroom and grab your first aid and sewing kits. You see his body littered with cuts and bruises.

“Bit off a bit more than I could chew at once this time…” He jokes, leaning up against your wall. You don’t complain about the blood stains, knowing you’ll play it off as a really bad nose bleed or something to your parents if you couldn’t clean it up before they saw it.

“This is going to sting.” You press the cotton ball of rubbing alcohol to his various cuts, seeing the veins in his neck strain as he holds in his grunts of pain.

“You almost done?” He sucks in a sharp breath as you clean another cut. You shake your head, knowing you can only get to most of the cuts but not all of them.

“You, uh, you need to...take off your suit.” You blush, knowing this could get awkward really fast. He nods and gets up, shedding the suit but keeping his mask on. Your cheeks turn a bright red as you notice his toned abs and arms. You keep your focus on helping him, though. You continue to clean his cuts as he sits back down again.

Once you’re almost finished, you tend to a large cut on his neck. It goes under his mask. You stop, your fingers hesitantly hovering over the edge of his mask.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, his eyes staring deep into yours from behind the mask. Your eyes flicker from his cut to his eyes, not knowing what to say.

“Uh...this cut is under your mask. I don’t know...I don’t want to overstep.” You whisper.

“You can pull it up to my nose. Is that far enough to clean the cut?” He asks. You nod and lift the mask up to his nose, showing his lips that look vaguely familiar to you but you can’t place from where.

You get to work again, cleaning the cut on his neck and placing a patch of gauze over it. When you’re done, you sit back and look at him.

He’s already staring at you.

“...I’m done.” You murmur, eyes briefly fluttering to his lips. You’re about to speak again when he leans forward and presses his lips to yours. You’re shocked, too stunned to move. When you don’t kiss back, he pulls away.

“Did I overstep?” His voice is shaky, almost scared. You shake your head and pull his face back to yours again, kissing him back. He responds immediately, arms snaking around your waist as yours loop around his neck.

You pull away after a moment, breathing heavily.

“I can’t believe Spider-Man just kissed me.” You giggle. He laughs, pulling the mask over the rest of his face again and getting up to put his suit back on.

“Yeah...I can’t believe the girl of my dreams just kissed me. Um...I should get going now, but...I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” He smiles and climbs back through the window, swinging away into the night.

You sigh dreamily.

Wait.

He said he’d see you at school tomorrow.

~+~

The next day, you’re frantically searching for anyone with a cut on their neck. You don’t see anyone.

You get to journalism class, throwing down your backpack in frustration. He could have just said that flippantly, on accident. But he could have accidentally let it slip that you go to the same school.

Peter furrows his brows at your frustrated state.

“You okay?” He asks, sitting on the edge of your desk.

“I’m fine, I just-- ugh!” You throw your hands up in defeat, looking over at your best friend. You see him wearing a turtleneck. 

He hasn’t worn a turtleneck in a while.

“Are you okay? I didn’t think it was cool enough yet to wear, like, winter weather clothes or anything.” You accuse, narrowing your eyes at him. You see him fidget.

“I just get cold really easily. Felt like wearing a sweater today. I wear sweaters regularly, (Y/n/n), you should know this.” He laughs it off.

“Yeah, but I rarely see you wear a...turtleneck. Got a hickey to hide, Parker?” You tease, but you have an underlying motive.

But there’s no way it could be him.

“You know me, always hooking up with girls.” He rolls his eyes jokingly since you both know that’s not like Peter at all.

You see a piece of gauze poke out from underneath the sweater.

“I knew it!” You gasp.

“...That I always hook up with girls?” He gives you a weird face. You shake your head vigorously, hands reaching out to roll down the neck of his turtleneck, showing the piece of gauze that had a small bloodstain on it seeping through.

“You’re--”

“Shh!” Peter covers your mouth with one hand and rolls up his turtleneck with the other.

“You’re Spider-Man?” You whisper, eyes going wide.

“Don’t tell anyone, please!” He pleads, grabbing your hand. Your stomach erupts in butterflies.

You kissed your best friend.

Your best friend kissed you.

You have feelings for your best friend.

“I won’t, but...You kissed me!” Your hand flies to your mouth, covering it as it forms into an ‘o’.

“You kissed me!” He accuses, eyes wide at the thought of your friendship ending over this.

“I-- Obviously you’re not upset about that because you knew who I was the entire time--”

“Are you upset about it?” He looks hurt.

“No.” You admit.

“Wait...so you liked the kiss? And you don’t care that it was me?” He asks, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

“I did like it and no I don’t care.” You blush.

“Cool...cool, cool, cool. So, like...uh, what does that mean?” Peter bites his lip, looking anywhere but you.

“Just kiss me, Parker.”

“Okay.” 

You lean in and he meets you halfway, pressing his lips to yours more feverishly than he was last night. You throw your arms around his neck, happy that everything worked out in the end.

Plus, your best friend boyfriend? is Spider-Man. How cool is that?

You pull away, a smile on your face.

“Do you want to know a little secret?” He whispers, his arms still around your waist. 

“What is it?” You hum.

“I originally wasn’t going to sign up for journalism until I saw you at lunch the day you posted it. I couldn’t bear you being that sad so I signed up and let me tell you, that was the best decision I think I’ve ever made.” He grins, kissing your nose.

“I’d have to agree. You do like journalism, though, right?” You laugh.

“Oh, I love journalism. You helped me figure that out. Plus, taking all the photos for it? Awesome. I think we make a pretty good team.” He teases. You lay your head on his chest and he puts his chin atop your head.

“I think we make the best team. And now that I know who you are, it makes us even better.”

“What are we, speaking of?” He asks, causing you to look up at him.

“Well...I dunno, what are we?” You turn the question around on him.

“Uh…(Y/n/n), will you be my girlfriend?” He asks, gazing down at you with pure adoration in his eyes.

“I’d love to be your girlfriend,” you lean in to whisper in his ear, “Spidey.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.” He kisses you again.

So, in the end, the interviews with Spider-Man went much better than you ever anticipated.

Plus, you saved your club. It can’t get much better than that.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: @witchyandkin

[purplesurveys]

581

Where did you get the pants you are wearing from? They’re my sister’s; I borrowed them for the semester because these shorts are conducive for my PE classes, but since we already finished the class last week I should probs give it back to her soon. Do you find smoking unattractive? I used to, but now I can’t really say that I hate it. Have your parents ever searched your personal belongings? They did, back in Grade 6. They took away two of my very private diaries and ever since then I never wrote down my thoughts in a notebook. I never did get the two back. Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? I thought I could, then my friends made me try a margarita a month after I turned 18 hahaha. Is there someone you'll never forget? There are loads of people I haven’t and will never forget; this is a very broad question.

Do you miss someone right now? Yes. Last time you were on the phone? Just to use it? Maybe some four minutes ago. But the last time I was on a call – if that’s what you meant – was last night. Do you get distracted easily? Yeup. Earlier I was doing a reading, picked up my phone for a short break, then never realized I was on my phone for the next two hours. Have your parents ever caught you drinking? They never ‘caught’ me; whenever I do drink I let them know/ask permission. I respect them enough to do that because I know how alcohol had nearly ruined our family in the past. Do you think flirting is cheating? Uhhhhhhh yes. Do you hate the last girl, other than family, you had a conversation with? I could never hate Gab. Who was the last person you sat next to in a car with? It was my brother.  Is your room messy or clean? Fairly clean. I had a general cleaning of my room not too long ago. Do you drink tea? Not the hot or herbal kind. I only have iced tea occasionally. Wish you could be somewhere else right now? Sort of? Kind of? Idk it’s either way. I’m content that I’m home but I wouldn’t mind being out drinking right now too. What are you listening to right now? I can only hear the electric fan’s white noise. I don’t feel like listening to music. Where did you get your last bruise from? I don’t remember my most recent bruise but it probably has something to do with PE and me hitting the mat/floor way too hard. Are you looking forward to anything? The weekend. When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? The fact that I stared at this question for a good minute must mean I haven’t thought this in a while lmao. That’s gotta be a good thing! Whose house where you last at? Other than mine, Gab’s. When someone says 'we need to talk', what do you think: If I know that that person doesn’t have a problem/potential problem with me, I just assume it’s something light. The only time this was said to me and it turned out to be something bad was my mom gathering us to say that our grandpa died, so I don’t really have a bad experience in general with that sentence. Tell me what's on your mind? I would have been able to sleep in tomorrow if I didn’t accept a 10 AM commitment and now I’m hating myself loads. It’s exhausting to accept an executive position sometimes. Will you be in bed before 11 tonight? I doubt it; it’s already 9:55 and I just started on this survey. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? It’s fine, but it’s not super solid or anything. They don’t know anything about me other than what I post on Facebook. How much money did you spend today? I spent P45 on an egg and cheese sandwich just to get through my hunger this morning, and my orders from online shopping came so I dropped P1,120 on that hahaha. In other words, I’m slowly GOING BROKE Can you see a cat from where you're sitting? Nope. I can see a dog, though. Who was your last text from? My professor for a history class. I’m the beadle in this class, so he texts me reminders from time to time. What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? It’s fairly new so it hasn’t acted up ever. The only bad thing that happens to it is me dropping it D: What's been upsetting you lately? I am so fucking burned out from this semester and just wish it’s over already. Is there anyone getting on your nerves at the moment? Nope, everyone’s safe. Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind? Nopes.

Last place you fell asleep other than a bed? The living room couch, I think. Does it take a lot to make you cry? Not at all. I’m an easy target. Do you have a dog? Yes, the goodest and bestest. Do you like to wear pants? No, I hate jeans and wish I had more shorts than jeans. How many people do you trust fully? I trust everybody I know, is the thing. I feel like my loved ones and friends deserve that. But I can cut off ties with them very easily if they abuse that trust. When you're bored in class, what do you usually do? I use my phone but make sure I’m hidden behind my laptop. If that’s too risky, I’ll doodle whatever lyrics on my notebook (if I’m writing). Otherwise I’d just check my social media on my laptop. What’s your favorite color out of these five? Green, Yellow, Blue, Pink: Pink. What was the first thing you said when you woke up today? “...Already?” I set my alarms this morning for 4 AM, 4:30 AM, and 5:30 AM. I woke up at the 4 AM alarm, went back to sleep, and the next alarm that woke me was the 5:30 one. I must have turned off the 4:30 one too but I was probably half-sleepy and groggy AS FUCK because I don’t remember turning that one off at all. Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday? Yeah. I kinda have to because the way I run during the day depends on the amount of sleep I get. Ever like someone older than you? I haven’t. What's your favorite amusement park? I don’t really have any. Universal Studios in Singapore was great fun though. Are you cold at this very moment? A little bit. I’ve since turned on the AC and also have an electric fan directed at me, so I’m quite chilly. Do you prefer people who talk a lot or are quiet? Depends on my mood..sometimes I’m talkative, and sometimes I just want to be on my laptop and be undisturbed. Is there someone in your life you wish you never met? Other than incompetent groupmates from past projects who temporarily made my life a living hell, not really. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? 7 to 10. Nothing more, nothing less. What do you think Avril Lavigne is doing at the moment? This question is so creepy. What's one fear are you most paranoid about? Not getting a nice enough job that doesn’t pay enough. Have you ran into an old friend recently? A couple of weeks ago I bumped into Mils; I was headed to my car and she was headed to class. It was super brief; we just said hi and she complimented my water bottle (which I have since lost lmao). Have you ever had a song stuck in your head for more than a day? Most likely. Could you go a whole year without cursing? I doubt it. Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? TV! I gave that up like, 6 years ago lol. That’s no problem for me now. Have you ever liked someone who had a girl/boyfriend? No, I haven’t. As of this minute, what is going through your mind? I want to play Mario Kart Tour again but I have to finish this survey first. Does anyone know your password besides you? Gab and my sister. Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? I dunno, I’ve never been in that situation. Have you ever ridden a horse? Yes. Are you a patient person? I’m patient with people more; I don’t like the other aspects of waiting, like traffic or waiting in line for something. Could you go a day without eating? I could, but it would suck and it would hurt and I’d probably pass out. Honestly, are things going the way you planned? More than, I guess. I mean I didn’t plan on making it to 21, so I guess everything I do from here on out is more than what I had planned. Are you a forgiving person? No. I prefer holding grudges. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep? HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH YES What is something you disliked about today? My anthropology professor instructed us to watch a film over the weekend. Completely forgot about it of course, and crammed my viewing the night before even though I was already tired. Today, I walked into the room to find out we were gonna watch the exact same movie as a class anyway; meaning I could have rested up last night lolololololol but guess not When's the last time you had a headache? A week ago, I think. Is there anything that you are craving right now? A burger from Pound :( And samgyupsal, ughhhhhhhh. What was the first thing you thought of this morning? How I fucking hate my Wednesday schedule. What part of your body hurts right now? I’m good at the moment. Eyes are starting to feel heavy though. Is there anyone you would like to just appear at your front door right now? Not really. Gab’s working tonight and I wouldn’t want her to drop everything just to surprise me at home. What is something that you realized today? I really dislike my course. I had a very productive afternoon today and started work on each of my final requirements for all my classes this semester – I met progress with every single major requirement, except for those of my journ electives, about which I could really not care less. Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be? No. Do you remember who your first crush was? Yeah, my 5th grade science teacher. I remember feeling ashamed to disclose it on these surveys back when I was new to this, but it’s been like ten years and I’ve gotten old as fuck and I can just spit it out now lmao. Ever walked into the guy's bathroom? I don’t think so. Have you ever cried from being so mad? Sure. What's a word that starts with the third letter of your first name? Binoculars. Do you have a bad temper? I can, most especially on my period. How many wives or husbands do you want? Wow, just one please. What's the closest pink object to you? My keyboard cover. Do you consider yourself lucky? No. Whats on your bedroom floor right now? A single sock that I’m too lazy to pick up for now, and my dog. Do you trust anyone? I trust lots of people. What's your favorite color gummy bear? Maybe red? I like strawberry/cherry flavored gummies. What's the last movie you saw in the theater? Portrait of a Lady on Fire. If you could push one person off of a mountain, who would it be? Duterte. Wish you could be somewhere else right now? Meh, yes and no. What color is your iPod? I don’t use it anymore, but my Nano is blue. What should you be doing right now? Sleeping maybe? Or at least settling in. Do you like roller coasters? Nope. One famous guy you would marry in an instance? Does it have to be a guy? I got nothing.

[zxrysky]

(a keith/lance fanfiction)

It's not hard, Lance thinks, looking at Keith throw his head back and laugh, lets his eyes trace that long column of neck and the sparkle in his eyes and oh yeah, oh boy, it's not hard at all to fall in love in Keith.

Keith's long and pretty, purple gray eyes and long fingers and he's so pretty, so pretty that he can't take his eyes off the boy, can't stop himself from staring and every time he stares he think he's falling a little bit further in love.

Maybe Keith's magic, he sulks, lips curling down and hunching over on himself, arms curled around his abdomen and he leans back against Hunk, a large solid presence against his back. Keith has to be, because there's no way Lance is attracted to that, no matter how pretty he is, no matter how delicious Keith looks when he's smiling and happy.

"I'm a liar," Lance says mournfully, murmuring the words under his breath, and Hunk snorts, turning to look down at him.

"Why are you a liar?" Hunk asks, hands reaching around in the bowl, picking up a fistful of popcorn. "You're nice. You don't lie. Much."

"Gee, thanks Hunk, you're the best," Lance shoots back,  burrowing further under Hunk's arm and reaching for the popcorn. He wants to chew something, distract himself from Keith tinkering with his sword a distance away. "I'm lying to myself, and it's a terrible lie, and I'm so fully aware I'm lying to myself, Jesus-"

"Are you having another crisis about Keith?" Hunk says, before throwing the handful of popcorn in his mouth so he doesn't have to reply when Lance straightens like someone ran a bolt of electricity down his spine. Lance attempts to glare at Hunk but nope, it's useless, Hunk is the bestest guy ever and with his cheeks puffed out, slowly chewing his popcorn, Lance can't stay mad at him.

He flops back, eyes closed, and groans loudly. Hunk nudges him, shushing him to listen to the movie blaring on the big screen that Coran has helpfully set up. It's another one of those alien movies, full of action and some whirlwind romance that supposedly makes all females keel over with emotions. Even Allura tears up a bit at some parts - which Lance can't understand, and neither can Hunk, which says a lot because Hunk understands lots of things, Alien movies have romances that are very different from the romcoms on Earth, and they're just, well, different.

The one they're seeing now isn't a Galran one thankfully, because Lance saw a Galra action flick once and he'd thank God if he didn't have to watch it again. There was a lot of blood. Probably fake blood, but boy, there was enough to make Keith queasy. And Keith laughs at Lance when he starts being squeamish around horror flicks and there's a bit of gore, so Keith getting uneasy means the movie was crazy.

Coran, brave man, just laughed and watched, stuffing popcorn into his mouth. He likes the salty type, the kind that would give Lance high blood pressure if he ate too much. Allura was with Shiro, who wasn't down to watch the film. Understandable, really, Lance wouldn't be down to watch something like that if he'd been captured by them either.

"There is no crisis over Keith," Lance insists, pressing lightly against Hunk. "Nope, zilch, nada. I'm a free man with lots on his mind. That's it."

"You complained to me for three hours about how pretty Keith was," Hunk points out, eyes gleaming. "I had to try really hard not to tell him, y'know?"

Lance pats Hunk, throwing his legs over Hunk's lap. "I didn't complain about how pretty Keith was, definitely not, because Keith is not pretty, he's just, I don't know, okay-ish."

"That's fine." Hunk shrugs and offers the popcorn bowl to Lance. He waits - sneaky child - until Lance has a mouthful of popcorn before casually saying, "Then you wouldn't mind if I told him, yeah?"

Lance chokes, pounding on his chest, eyes watering and he looks up at Hunk, so betrayed, stabbed in the back by the one guy he trusted most, he can't trust anyone anymore, oh man, it's exactly like Julius and Brutus, this thing. Just stabbing him.

"You okay?" There's a warm hand on his back, lightly patting him, and Lance tries not to choke even more because he can tell there's a gloved hand on his back, and only two people on the team wear gloves, and one of them has both hands in Lance's sight.

He tilts his head up warily, and he sees Keith with his eyebrows raised, fingers clenching around nothing like he isn't quite sure what to do with his other hand, and Lance feels a pang in his chest.

"I'm fine, I'm- cough, fine, Hunk just punked me-" He glares at Hunk, who shrugs and lifts both hands, very what-can-you-do and Lance pushes him, grinning. "I'm good. You wanna watch this with us?"

There's a convenient blast on the screen, loud screams and the hero swoops into the battlefield on a hovercraft to fight; Keith looks at it for a while, and settles down next to Lance. "Yeah, sure," he says, reaching across Lance's lap to get some popcorn. They love sweet popcorn, all five of them, so it's always in ample supply.

Lance stiffens, pressing back against the couch - so far back he could become one with it, with the way he's sinking in, because with the amount of squirming he's done on the couch when he was thinking about Keith, his shirt's racked up against his abdomen and Keith isn't wearing his jacket, so his very exposed forearm brushes against Lance's stomach and yeah, Lance's making a weird sound that's coming from the base of his abdomen.

Keith shoots him a look, brows raised even higher than before and tilting his head. "Are you okay?"

"Yes!" Lance yells, voice cracking. "I'm fine! Totally fine! Lance has never been better!" He shouts desperately, fingers tapping out the code for S.O.S. on Hunk's arm.

"Hey, I think I should start on making dinner," Hunk says, smiling a closed eye smile that makes Lance shudder. He grips Lance's arm, placing it back on the couch and gets up, brushing the popcorn kernels off his lap. "You two just stay here and watch it, so you can tell me afterwards, okay?"

"Sure," Keith replies, eyes on the screen, arm still flung over Lance's abdomen and groping around for the popcorn bowl. Hunk sneakily places the bowl in Lance's lap, and yeah, Lance is flushing bright red, eyes wide and staring pointedly at Hunk and most definitely not at the way Keith's hand is in his lap, albeit with the bowl in between.

Hunk grins at him, bright and happy and he's the best wingman ever, Lance's got to admit that, but Lance isn't prepared, not prepared at all and his fingers are fluttering against the couch, scrabbling against soft fabric to find purchase against nothing.

"Uh, you come here often?" Lance stammers out, face red and eyes darting from Keith's face to the wall, from Keith's face to the wall, lingering on the curve of his lips and paleness of his neck, the stickiness lingering at the side of his lips and yeah okay, time to look at the wall again.

Keith makes a confused noise and drags his eyes away from the screen, looking at Lance. "Lance, we live here, in the castle. I come here pretty often?"

Okay, see, Lance is not ready, he's not prepared, his frankly astounding repertoire of pick-up lines are leaving him in the dust, his brain isn't working well and yup, he'll just stop for a bit. He'll just shut up for a bit. Keep his eyes on the screen.

"Stupid question, sorry," Lance says, staring at the screen, watching the hero blow up a ship. He's praying that the flush doesn't show up too clearly on his dark skin. "Uh, have you watched this before?"

"Not yet," Keith says, reaching for more popcorn.

He inches closer to Lance, and Lance tries to find control over his breathing because there's no way that was on purpose, Keith just wants to get closer to the popcorn bowl, which Lance can respect. Food is always of the highest priority.

He takes a deep breath and leans back against the couch, trying to relax, and very carefully does not stiffen when Keith's shoulder bumps against his, pressing arm to arm against each other as they watch the movie.

-=-

They need to wash the lions. Clean the lions, quoting Coran. They're kinda dirty, with the amount of dried blood they've left inside, the dirt they've tracked in, etcetera, and Lance recalls how Hunk puked in Blue the first time they took her for a ride. Inside is as dirty as outside, but they’re cleaning from outside in so right now, they’re going to clean their lions’ armour.

Yeah, he needs to clean his girl. She's going to become sparkling, and way before Red will, because Lance is faster than Keith, no shit.

He turns, all ready to snark at Keith and challenge him to a fight, when his jaw drops and eyes blow wide because god damn, god damn, Keith is taking his shirt off and Lance is pink, definitely.

"Why is he taking his shirt off?!" He hisses to Hunk, who raises an eyebrow at Keith and shrugs. "He doesn't need to take his shirt off! It's just cleaning our lions!"

"It'll probably get kinda hot," Hunk points out. "Sweaty and hot, so not wearing a shirt may be cooler."

"Isn't Pidge lowering the temperature? It's cool enough!" Lance feels hysterical, wringing at his shirt and he worries at his lips, biting down and looking harried.

"Is this another crisis?" Hunk asks, brows furrowing. He braces his hands against Lance's shoulders, shaking him, and Lance keens, peering over Hunk's shoulder to see Keith tie his hair up.

"He's tying his hair up," Lance seethes, blood roaring in his ears. "He's so good looking, why, my god, Hunk, I'm not sure if I'll make it."

Hunk pats him smartly on the back, once, twice, hard and heavy, and it shocks Lance a little, shocks him back into sanity.

"You'll live," Hunk says, eyes kind. "And you should probably get back to cleaning Blue before Keith beats you."

Lance whines, swallowing tightly, and turns away, striding back to his lion with all the passion of a hundred fireballs. Keith looks so good it makes his blood burn.

He starts scrubbing, eyes occasionally darting over to land on Keith, and tries not to cry when Keith bends over to reach for the bucket, digging his fingers into the hooks of Red's outer armour and slinging up, climbing to the top. His back muscles are corded tightly, straining beneath his skin and Lance can feel the saliva pool in his mouth.

Oh boy, he needs Hunk to dump a pail of water on top of him to cool him off.

He focuses on Blue, scrubbing like he means it and Keith probably has the right idea, climbing up to the top to scrub every corner and so he does the same, slowly scaling Blue and gently scrubbing, frowning at the slightly scratched armour and petting her in concern.

Soon enough, it does get too hot; he’s sweaty and tired, lying down on Blue’s slightly cooler - but soapy, so soapy - surface. He strips his shirt off, struggling to get it off his sticky skin and he gets a little stuck on the way, shirt trapped around his head because he’s too sweaty, too sticky and the fabric insistently sticks to his skin.

He rips it off eventually, panting with the effort because god, he didn’t understand how a shirt could be so hard to get off. Peering over Blue’s side, he lets it drop, watching as it flutters to the ground, which is pretty far away because Blue is super tall, and looks Blue over. She looks appropriately soaped up, and Lance is pretty sure he’s faster than Keith.

He chances a look at Red, sees a sliver of skin and looks away, cheeks red. Keith’s still cleaning, which is good, and it means Lance’s won.

“Pidge!” He yells, leaning as far as Blue’s head will allow. “Can you start the sprinklers?”

There’s a shout of acknowledgement and the sprinklers in the roof start above Blue, spraying down and washing all the suds off. Lance moans, lying back against Blue and just stays there for a while. It feels like rain pouring on his skin, pattering against his limbs and chest and oh boy, it feels amazing. It feels like he’s back on Earth again, dancing in the rain with his mama and older brothers, wrestling in the mud and screaming when mama dumps bucketfuls of cold rain water down their backs to clean them off.

His jeans are soaked through, and maybe wearing denim wasn’t the best idea when deciding to wash a gigantic robot lion but hey, Lance never said he was the King of Good Decisions - that’s usually Hunk, or Pidge. No, Pidge is the King of Smart Decisions, come to think about it. Smart, but not necessarily good. It’s the reason why Lance gets into so much trouble when he tries scheming with Pidge.

He watches the suds runoff, collecting in soapy water on the ground, and pats the clean, sparkling surface of Blue. He can hear her purring in his mind, sated and delighted, with a slight reminding nudge about how the interior, cough, isn’t as clean. Lance smiles apologetically, standing up and shakes his head, running his hand through his hair to push back the wet fringe. He’s dripping, wet with water, and his jeans are hanging way too low on his hips. They’re slipping, and Lance peers at them, wondering if Coran’s stretching them in the high-tech laundry machine on board because there’s no way Lance is getting thinner with how much delicious food Hunk’s been making. Ever since they found out how to reverse engineer human food, Hunk has not stopped cooking. Which is a godsend.

Lance is feeling lazy after cleaning Blue like his life depends on it, so he slowly climbs down and leans against her leg, smirking at Keith who’s waiting for Pidge to start the sprinklers over above Red. He’s red faced, probably because he doesn’t have as much stamina as Lance and tires faster - hah, Lance knew it - and he’s sitting patiently on Red.

“I was faster!” Lance calls out, extremely petty, trying to get a rise out of Keith, and Keith rises up to the occasion, bristling slightly.

“Red’s cleaner,” Keith yells down, and the sprinklers start, spraying down and soaking Keith to the bone. And- jesus, Lance takes a moment to clasp his hands behind his back and pray quickly because Keith’s pants were already practically skin tight and now the water is making it stick even further, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination, and Keith slicks his hair back, wet with water, gloves slightly damp and oh boy, oh boy, Lance needs to turn around right now before he embarrasses himself.

He turns, sending desperate hand signals to Hunk, who’s humming as he cleans Yellow, entirely oblivious to the intense, very real, very dangerous, very life-threatening crisis Lance is facing.

Pidge, having taken the same classes as them, signs back for Lance to keep your eyes open, all clear, advance in response to Lance going abort mission, enemies, evacuation needed, where’s first aid base.

Lance is going to die, he’s just going to keel over and die, and it’s just his luck that Keith pops up behind him, soaking wet and gorgeous, and Lance chokes on his tongue.

“You look really wet,” Keith says, raising an eyebrow, and Lance has lost his brain to mouth filter, his mouth is running on autopilot-

“I’m dripping with good looks,” he says, loud and clear, and the words echo in the sudden lull of silence that fills the hangar. Keith blinks, eyes wide, and there’s a quiet giggle from Pidge a while away, and a snort from Shiro who immediately slaps his hand across his mouth.

Hunk laughs softly, shooting Lance a discreet thumbs up and Pidge throws some popcorn - where she got it from, Lance has no clue - into Hunk’s mouth. They’re enjoying themselves.

Keith puffs his cheeks out, eyes filled with amusement and Lance can tell he’s trying not to laugh, trying really hard not to laugh, which Lance can appreciate, but it’s eventually too much for Keith to hold in or something and he doubles over, arms pressing against his abdomen as he laughs, loud and bright and delighted. Lance is left standing there watching the long pale curve of Keith’s spine against skin, the way the rim of his pants sticks to his hipbones and maybe Pidge needs to turn the sprinklers back on at freezing temperature because Lance needs a cold shower, pronto.

There’s a flush high on Keith’s cheeks, probably because he’s been scrubbing at Red like mad, and Lance laughs awkwardly while hurriedly backing away, throwing finger guns at Keith to distract him.

“I am good looking!” He yells before he ducks out of the hangar, loud and ringing and the hangar’s filled with unrestrained laughter, with even Shiro pressing his fist against his mouth and laughing, holding his stomach like it hurts.

Keith’s eyes are bright, his hair wet and hanging low in his eyes, shirtless and dripping and so fucking gorgeous - Lance braces himself against the wall, pressing his hands against it and slamming his head on the wall.

Jesus, he thinks. I’m so fucked.

There’s a voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Hunk, quietly exasperated, and it says, “well, that took you long enough.”

Lance presses his forehead against the wall and waits for the heat in his cheeks to die down.

[commissions are open!]

[thing-you-do-with-that-thing]

What If I Kissed You

Characters: Jensen Ackles, Y/N Y/L/N, Misha Collins, Jared Padalecki, Brianna Buckmaster  

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: A few adultish thoughts, Drunkish!Jensen, tipsy!reader, not much. Mostly fluff.      

Word Count: 1700ish

A/N: So I have been writing a lot of angst lately for my series and for and for angst day (yep I am gonna make y’all cry that day). So I kinda needed a change of pace. When I heard Temecula Road’s What if I Kissed You this one shot popped into my mind.

Thanks a billion to the bestest little sister in the world @mysupernaturalfics for betaing this one for me

Note hate against Danneel - I love her. For the purpose of this fic Jensen is single. 

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

Being around Y/N on set was bad enough, but tonight it was down right impossible for Jensen to focus on anything else but her. It was a beautiful night in Rome. All his friends, well work friends, were there. Misha and Jared were laughing and talking about something right next to him, but Jensen didn’t pay attention to them at all.

His eyes were solely fixated on Y/N and the way she was laughing and dancing with Brianna. Hell, he couldn’t even hear the music over the sound of her bell like laughter ringing in his ears. He was drunk and not only on the “apple juice”  he had been drinking all day, but on her. She filled his senses and Jensen allowed his mind to wander as he watched how the short summer dress she was wearing clung to her curves in all the right places. Her tanned skin was almost shining in the lights of the club and her hair was swaying with her every movement. She looked happy and free.

Jensen couldn’t help but wonder what she would do if he just had the balls to get off his ass, walk across the floor, pull her into his arms and kiss her right then and there, like he had wanted to so many times before. His feelings had nothing to do with the buzz he was feeling, it had nothing to do with the fact she never wore dresses at work, it had nothing to do with the intoxicating city or the fact that he always felt more free here than he did back home in the states for some reason. It was just how he felt everytime he saw her. He never didn’t want to kiss her. He never didn’t wonder how her soft, plump lips would feel against his own. He always wondered how she would taste. Like honey and strawberries, he was sure. He smiled as he watched her move on the dancefloor, letting his mind run will as he imagined her dancing only for him as her clothes would slowly fall to the floor. He stifled a groan when he almost felt how soft and silky her warm body would feel under his touch.

“Why don’t you just go dance with her, Jensen?” Misha’s voice broke his trance and he looked over his shoulder to see his two best friends smirking at him. Jensen let out a deep sigh knowing there was no way in hell they would stop pestering him about this for the rest of the night.

“Yeah she would love that,” Jared encourage, “the two of you have been tiptoeing around each other ever since she came on the show. It’s time one of you grows a pair.”

Jensen sent his best friend a look that would shut most people up, if not actually slowly back out of the room, but Jared knew him better than that, so he just glared back at him.

“Don’t give me that look Ackles,” Jared huffed, “you know we’re right.”

Jensen’s eyes wandered back to the perfect woman spinning around on the dancefloor, having the time of her life and he so hoped his friends were right. Still how could he take that chance? Y/N had quickly become one of his best friends. She was smart, caring and the most breath-takingly beautiful woman he had ever seen. She laughed at his dumb jokes and she didn’t seem entirely unhappy about spending time with him. Jensen couldn’t help but wonder what she would do if he did kiss her. He wondered if she would kiss him back, if she would let him pull her close holding her tightly against him. He wondered if his wandering hands would eventually get the best of her. If she would take his hand and lead him upstairs to her room. Jensen’s breathing got heavier as he pictured her sultry smile as she slowly backed towards the bed, letting her hands run over the straps of her dress pushing them down her shoulders. He closed his eyes for a second to get his mind back under control before he could imagine her naked before him. He knew there was no going back from that. Jared and Misha would never let him hear the end of it if he popped a boner in the middle of a crowded bar, just by watching her dance. But more than that. She was his friend. He shouldn’t be thinking about her like that. He didn’t wanna screw up their friendship even if it killed him not being able to be with her the way he wanted to.

“I can’t. We’re friends. She doesn't think of me like that,” Jensen spoke quietly, as he returned his attention to his friends. Jared started scolding him, but a huge grin just slid across Misha’s face as he nodded over Jensen’s shoulder as he spoke.

“Then why is she looking at you like you were her last meal?” he teased, making Jensen’s draw drop and Jared go quiet as he carefully glanced out onto the dance floor. Jensen’s eyes were fixated on Jared, as he didn’t dare to look, but the smile on his best friends face told him that Misha hadn’t been lying.

“Turn around, buddy,” Jared urged, making Jensen’s heart race a million miles per hour as he slowly followed his friends’ instructions.

***

Your head was comfortably buzzing as you let Brianna spin you around on the dancefloor before laughingly doing the same to her. It was a hot summer night in beautiful Rome and the company was amazing. Even if you couldn’t help but wish it wasn’t Brianna on the floor with you, but the man you had slowly but surely fallen head over heels in love with over the past year you had been on his show. Jensen Ackles. The one man in the world that could make your head spin with nothing more than a smile and with no alcohol in sight. He was sweet and kind. He always knew what to say at the right times. He was your friend, but what you had come to feel about him over the past few months wasn’t exactly friendly.

Jensen was beyond gorgeous. Any woman could see that and no woman in their right mind would kick him out of bed. Still that wasn’t what it was about. Well not only. Jensen was respectful of everyone around him, he was a gentleman and one of the biggest dorks you had ever met. He never failed to make you laugh, even when you were tired and grumpy and just wanted to go home to bed. His smile lit up rooms, so contagious you had never seen anyone not return it. He was a quiet leader, never once abusing his power that he barely seemed aware of. He took care of his friends first and you were no exception. Jensen was perfect in your mind and you wished he would see you the same way.

“Jensen’s gorgeous tonight huh?” Brianna winked at you, nodding over your shoulder and you couldn’t help but follow her line of sight.

And he really was. You felt your mouth water as you stared at him, a lot more blatantly than you would have ever dared had you not been slightly tipsy from all the drinking you had been doing today. He was overwhelmingly handsome and you couldn’t help but wish he was yours. You couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to be held by those strong arms of his as your tongues danced together. You imagined how good he would feel, all of him. His warm solid frame pinning you against his bed, his hands wandering your body. His muscles rolling under your touch. You imagined the groans he would make as he sunk into you, how perfect he would fit, how amazing he would feel as he...  

You let out an almost audible gasp as Jensen suddenly turned around and your eyes met. There was no doubt in your mind you had been caught in the act. Your eyes dropped to the floor as a deep blush crept into your cheeks. You fought your tears, hoping that he was just drunk enough to think he had imagined this or that he at least wouldn’t remember a thing tomorrow.

***

Jensen froze completely when her eyes met his. Had she just been looking at him, like he had her not more than a few minutes ago. Had he really been so stupid he had missed all the signs with her? Jensen felt a rush of courage coarse though his body as her’s clearly left her.

“Screw it,” he mumbled pushing himself onto his feet, as she looked down blushing. Jensen crossed the room in a few strides and as soon as he reached her he pulled her flush against his body with one arm as his free hand gentle cupped her cheek, silently asking her to look at him.

“Jensen,” she gasped, when their eyes met, but he just smiled. His two idiot friends had been right. She didn’t push him away, her eyes were clouded with doubts, but she leaned into his touch as if she craved more. Jensen didn’t say a word, instead he leaned down gently brushing his lips over hers, testing the waters. When her arms closed around his neck and she leaned into him, Jensen grew bolder running his tongue over her bottom lip asking for permission. A permission she instantly granted and Jensen deepened the kiss. She was everything and more than he had ever imagine. The world disappeared around him as he pulled her impossibly closer, pouring all his pent up emotions into that kiss, not even hearing Jared, Misha and Brianna cheering around them. Jensen finally had her in his arms, he was finally kissing her. He finally knew she was feeling what he was feeling and he was determined to make this memory last. He was determined to make her his and make their love last forever.      

Jensen Tag Team

 @mysupernaturalfics @blacktithe7 @percywinchester27 @torn-and-frayed @docharleythegeekqueen @hexparker @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @feelmyroarrrr @starswirlblitz @akshi8278 @jpadjackles @crushing83 @flufy07 @quiddy-writes @akshi8278 @sleep-silent-angel @d-s-winchester @fuckyeahfeysand @lenaabs @iamnotsaneatall @jpadjackles @petrovadixon @blanketmadeofstar @arryn-nyxx @winchesters-flannels @winchester-writes @ruprecht0420 @tas898 @emilywritesaboutdean @mogaruke @emoryhemsworth @tennesseewhiskey-and-pie @supernatural-jackles @jojo-nz @riakie @anokhi07 @adriellej @michirutenshi @dance4angels @charliebradbury1104 @jayankles @mouselovesmusic @jensenackesl @twistnshoutx @ivvitm1109 @ivvitm1109 @sinbadcat83 @thebunkerismyhome @iwriteaboutdean @winchesterprincessbride @captainradicalpassion @redunicorn10 @brooke-supernatural16 @purgatoan @haleyhay96 @haleyhay96 @deansbaekaz2y5 @mamapeterson @spn-fan-girl-173 @mamapeterson @sandlee44 @profkmoriarty13 @secretlyfurrydragon @bringmesomepie56 @sonofabitch-spn @gecko9596 @impala-dreamer @jensen-jarpad @deansleather @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou @icequeen1371 @phoenixia67 @chickenmcsade @chaos-and-the-calm67 @brihughes4 @aiaranradnay @angelsdeadromance @katarinfrost @castiels-broken-fool @bemyqueenofdarkness

[owlaholic68]

If at first you don’t succeed...Chapter 3

Read it at AO3 here. 

Hakunin’s tent has always felt odd to Carla. Now, seated across from the eccentric shaman, she feels even more uncomfortable.

“You’ve always offered me solid, though sometimes incomprehensible, advice,” she starts. Hakunin nods and gestures for her to continue. “I’m just not sure what I should do.”

“Explain the cloud choking out your heart, child, and I will channel the spirits to help guide your path.” Hakunin takes a sip of some foul-smelling brew. Carla doubts it’s tea; more likely, it’s straight-up drugs.

“I’m going to sound crazy.” Though I can’t sound any crazier than you. Fuck it.

Carla explains, to the best of her knowledge. Hakunin stays silent, nodding thoughtfully at some of the more unbelievable parts.

“You walk a troubled path, an endless one you must walk again and again. You say that we will be spirited away by metal dragonflies?”

It takes Carla a second to decipher that metaphor. “Yes. I’ve tried time and time again (seventeen times, of course she counts) to stop them and save the village.”

“But that’s not what happened the very first time?”

“No?” Carla frowns. “I mean, yes, the Enclave did come and take everyone. But it didn’t end there. They took you southwest to an Oil Rig in the ocean. I,” she’s never spoken of her dilemma to anyone else, and the words are starting to stick in her throat at the thought of her first death. “I made it there, but security was so tight. I wasn’t able to get anyone out. The Elder suggested trying to blow up the reactor, but with everyone still in there,” she swallows hard, “I just couldn’t. I couldn’t. Then I got caught. So I tried to run, but…”

“There, there, child,” Hakunin puts a hand on her shoulder. “You tried your best. And it seems as if some spirit has given you the opportunity to try again. Let me tell you what I think.” He sits back and inhales the steam from his cup of probably-not-drugs.

“There are some things in life you just can’t change, no matter how you try. If the fates really did give you this chance to fix your mistakes, it seems as if our untimely kidnapping was not what you’re supposed to worry about. After all, you can still save us afterwards, right?”

Carla avoids his eyes. “Of course. I even know how to do it.” She forces a smile. Hakunin’s never made it. He died the first time, and he’ll die every time. “So you’re saying I should just let them come, and focus on trying to rescue everyone instead?”

Hakunin nods and smiles gently at her. “Yes. If the spirits let you get that far in the first place, that is the path they wish you to take.”

She sees the sense (for once) of what he says. But to just give up on saving the village… I’m not sure I can do that. I’d be abandoning them, knowing full well what would happen. And not everyone makes it alive. The weight of the last seventeen cycles weighs heavy on her young shoulders. It’s not like anything I’ve done has helped, though. Maybe he’s right. I’ll try a few more times to find a way to stop the Enclave, then I’ll just have to…give up.

“Thank you, Hakunin.” Carla hugs him before she heads off under the hot wasteland sun.

Smiley the Trapper must have been a nutjob to get past all these geckos. Carla frowns and peers around a corner of the cave. The Toxic Caves, just outside of Klamath, are far more perilous than she had anticipated. Around the corner, three fire geckos sniff at a pile of bones. Silently, as slowly as she can, Carla unhooks a grenade from her belt.

All three geckos turn at the soft plink of the grenade hitting the cavern floor. One spots her and hisses. Carla steps back as the grenade explodes.

The good news: it eliminates all three lizards.

The bad news: apparently these caves were not only toxic, but unstable as fuck.

The walls around her start to shake and crumble. Carla scrambles to her feet, but doesn’t make it very far. A heavy beam hits her back; she hits the ground hard, breath knocked out of her lungs in a dusty gasp.

“Help!” she shouts, in the vain hopes that someone, anyone, will hear her. Her arms are pinned down too. As she wiggles and struggles to escape, the rusting machinery next to her creaks and groans.

Carla barely has time to think grenades fucking suck before a steel crane crushes her skull.

She finds a pair of pliers in Smitty’s locker. The Den is still lively at this time of night, people standing outside of Becky’s Bar and laughing loudly. But the junkyard is still and quiet, so she pockets the tool without problem. There’s a nugget of guilt in her stomach at the theft, but it is just a pair of pliers. Smitty won’t even miss them.

The screwdriver, surprisingly, she finds on a shelf in Skeeter’s workshop. She’s still trekking out to Gecko to fix their reactor; despite the hostile reaction from Vault City, it feels like the right thing to do. Lenny is sitting on a countertop while she pokes around, regaling her with some pre-war story she’s heard five times already. But she nods and hums in all the right places, even asking a few questions out of habit.

“Hey, Skeeter, you mind if I borrow this?” she calls out to the ghoul tinkering in the adjacent room. He only briefly looks up at the tool before grunting in affirmation and returning to his work.

Two tools. Now to find a wrench.

The Vault City slums are, well, just that- a slum. Disheartened farmers and out-of-luck laborers mingle in the local bar, drowning their misfortunes in the best moonshine the wasteland has to offer. As Carla nears the door, intent on asking the bartender for information, a small child catches her eye. He’s sitting by the corner of the building and quietly crying. Carla looks around, desperate for a responsible adult and parent to help. But no one seems to take notice of the child.

“Hello,” she kneels down in front of him. “What’s wrong?”

He sniffs. “I lost my doll. Mr. Nixon was my best friend and he promised he’d stay with me forever and ever. But he’s a big fat liar!”

Carla inwardly sighs. Of all the things she was expecting to do this cycle, helping a kid find his lost doll was not one of them. But why not? She’s done enough bad the last few months, might as well try to do some good.

“Come on, then,” she adopts a gentle tone and holds out her hand. “Let’s go find him. I bet he just got lost.” The little boy takes her hand. She leads him around the side of the bar. “Did he get lost around here?” He nods. So Carla spends an entire five minutes looking for the toy before finding it in a dark corner, half-covered by rocks.

“Thank you so much, ma’am!” The child is, as expected, delighted. He hugs the doll close and peers into its beady eyes. “I thought you were just a big fat liar. But you’re my bestest friend! Listen,” he leans in real close to it, “I won’t tell Mom you got lost, if you don’t tell her I took one of Dad’s wrenches and hid it behind some rocks over there! Okay!” he runs off into a house.

Carla runs over to the nearby pile of rocks and hastily uncovers a dusty wrench. She slips it into her pocket and fast-walks to the gate of downtown Vault City. It’s almost sundown; if she wants to give Valerie the tools, she’s going to have to book it as fast as she can to her office.

After giving the grumpy mechanic the tools, Carla stays overnight in a grimy tent. Bright and early the next morning, she gets back into the city and collects the super repair kit.

Skeeter is overjoyed when she unveils her find.

“I’ll go get that part you needed, right away!” he scurries off to the garage, leaving Carla alone with Lenny, her ever-present companion in Gecko. The skinny ghoul opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted by Skeeter, who flies back into the room and drops a fist-sized gadget into her open hands.

The sun is setting, deepening Lenny’s gaunt face even further. They’re sitting in his room: him on the bed, her on a mattress on the floor. It’s an unspoken agreement now, one that Carla has lived time and time again. She happens to be in Gecko for the night, Lenny lets her crash on his floor. But this time, he speaks up, startling her from the repetitive monotony she’s fallen into. During the last six cycles she’s visited Gecko, they’ve never had this conversation.

“You r-remind me of them s-so much.”

Carla looks up from her magazine. “Of who?”

Lenny looks lost in thought. “The Vault Dweller. They c-came to Necropolis one day – that’s w-where I used to live, before it w-was overrun with Super Mutants – and fixed our w-water pump. Saved the w-whole town.” He stares into the distance, looking his age for once. “I wanted s-so badly to go with them, but I never w-worked up the courage to even ask. I w-wish,” he chuckles, “if I c-could do it all over again, I w-would take a chance and at least try. But s-second chances don’t c-come easy these days.”

“No.” Tears well up in her eyes; she blinks them away. “They really don’t.”

Lenny notices her distress and starts to say something.

“Come with me,” she blurts, the words ripping from her mouth without thinking. An image rises unbidden of the last time she travelled with anyone: Sulik, dead on the wasteland dirt.

“What? R-really?” Lenny sits back in surprise.

Carla almost hopes he’ll refuse. The idea of opening up to someone is like holding a knife over her own heart. It’s just a matter of time before she messes up, and now it’s not only her who’ll face the consequences. I’ve lost so much. I’m not sure how much more I can take. But maybe I don’t have to do this alone any more. It’s not like it’s worked out all of the other times. And it if it all goes south this time, I’ll have learned my lesson.

Of course, he doesn’t refuse.

The next morning, when she heads out of Gecko for the long journey back to the Den, she’s not alone. Not anymore.

 The first drive in the Highwayman is exhilarating and terrifying all at once. Lenny coaxes her through the motions of driving a car, but she still almost hits the junkyard gate a few times. For a few hours, they cruise in silence until they reach the outskirts of Redding.

It’s already December. Only five months left. Hakunin’s words echo in her head, a piece of advice she can’t seem to ignore. With that in mind, she doesn’t stop in Redding like normal, but continues south. She has half a mind to head for New Reno, but decides to breeze past it, leaving the twinkling lights of the vice-infested city far behind. She’d visited it once, the very first cycle, and had almost immediately turned around and left.

Now, the mountains turn into flat desert. The sun sets, and she keeps going. Lenny nods off, and she keeps going, still heading towards the south. She lets him sleep until the sun rises again. His eyes flicker open when she stops the car near a cave. She stretches out on the backseat while he takes watch.

For the first time in days, Carla sleeps soundly, even for a few hours.

 “Oh m-my god,” Lenny’s alarmed face fades in and out of her blurry vision. Carla tries to sit up. “N-no, no!” He’s too late to stop her. She screams and collapses back on the dirt, her entire torso a fiery mass of pain. I was so close to San Francisco. Guess I’ll have to try again next time. And I’ll know to keep an eye out for slavers.  

“Stimpacks?” she croaks. He shakes his head, tears welling up in his sunken and pale white eyes.

“C-Carla,” he gently lifts her onto his lap. “I’m a s-shit doctor, I c-can’t even s-s-save you, I c-can’t do anything to h-help.”

“Hey,” she reaches up and puts a hand on his cheek, wincing despite herself. “Stomach wounds are pretty fatal without stimpacks. It’s not your fault.” Even speaking this much is shooting sparks of pain up her chest. She drops her hand to her lap; he grabs it and squeezes tightly.

“C-Carla, what am I going to d-do now?” Lenny is openly sobbing now, one hand holding hers, the other supporting the back of her head.

“Ha,” she chuckles. Laughing hurts. Talking hurts. Even breathing hurts. Soon, though, it will all be over. “Don’t worry about that.” Suddenly, guilt joins the other, more literal, daggers piercing her stomach. “Lenny,” her voice trails away, but she fights to stay conscious. I have to know. I can’t die until I know.

“Hush,” he whispers. “I’m here.”

“If you had a second chance,” Carla coughs up some blood and knows her end is quickly approaching. “Would you still want to come with me? Even knowing that one of us could die?”

He stares at her, eyes wide and brimming over.

“Yes, a thousand t-times over, yes.”

“Good,” her eyes slip shut.

I’m sick of dying alone.

[recentanimenews]

Fans Give Their Hot Takes On The Anime Awards

More important than the Oscars, the Grammys, and the Havelock, North Carolina Chili Cookoff combined is the Anime Awards. It's that wonderful time when we can look over the past year of anime and bestow honors upon the ones that most touched our hearts. And with them looming ever closer, we asked some of y'all to give us your hot takes on who YOU think should take the trophy in some of the categories. And you didn't disappoint. Your answers ranged from surprising to thoughtful to inspired, so we decided to collect the twelve best of them and post them here for the rest of the internet to love and appreciate and then, as the internet does, nitpick into oblivion. 

  I'm gonna go down category by category, and what better category to start with than the big one: Best Anime.

  BEST ANIME

  "Yorimoi for AOTY" by Cameron (A Place Farther Than The Universe)

  A Place Further Than The Universe was the best anime of the year. It was the best anime by far and no other show came even close. There were plenty of other shows I loved this year like Laid-back Camp and Revue Starlight but none of those shows compare to the good good Antarctica girls. The show teaches amazing lessons and made me cry many times. The email scene at the end of episode 12 made me cry for hours and I still tear up every time I think about it. It's just genuinely one of the best shows I've ever seen. This is my new go-to recommendation for people who want to get into anime. Their adventure is so inspiring and it deserves anime of the year. 

  "Devilman: Crybaby" by Manic Stylo (Devilman Crybaby)

  It's been almost universally accepted by both formalist and populist anime fans that Devilman Crybaby has the qualities of an instant classic. From its unique visual direction, infectious soundtrack, and unrelenting use of adult content, Devilman Crybaby breathes new life into Go Nagai's classic manga and beautifully streamlines it for a contemporary audience. Remaining mostly faithful to its source material, director Masaaki Yuasa's sensibility for abstract and avant-garde visuals makes for a delightfully nightmarish fever-dream adaptation of Nagai's original concept (it's a match made in heaven...or hell in this case). As far as adult anime go, Crybaby is consistently balanced fare with uncompromisingly violent action for anyone who just wants a fun romp, solid thematic undertones for those who want more bite out of their shows, and tastefully implemented real-world commentary if you want more than just escapism. A hyper-stylized modern gothic masterpiece, whether it worked for you or not, Devilman Crybaby will not leave your subconscious any time soon.

  "Zombies But Still Alive" by Jouii-chan (ZOMBIE LAND SAGA)

    2018 has been quite the year for anime. It's my first year that I've been watching and keeping up with seasonal anime with Crunchyroll! But one show stood out to me, and that show was Zombie Land Saga. For the first few episodes, I was pretty doubtful about the series. I mean, an idol anime with zombie girls? That was just plain crazy!

  But as the show went on, I realized Zombie Land Saga was more than some silly comedy show. It was beauty. All the characters had great chemistry, and the music was great. It got me addicted to it with it's great music too. The best part of the show was how it showed the indomitable human spirit and how even through the toughest of storms, anyone can prevail. Sakura provided a great lead with her past sucking her of all her confidence, yet she overcomes this to lead Franchouchou to a great future. Zombie Land Saga was one of the surprises of 2018, and I was always hyped to watch the new episodes when they came out.

  "Violet Evergarden: An Anime for a Lifetime" by James (Violet Evergarden)

  Violet Evergarden is an anime that grabs your heart. The loss of a father, mother, daughter, son- the fears of rejection, regret, and failure- Violet Evergarden reaches inside you, and pulls tight on these strings. It's not just a post-war story; Violet Evergarden is a somber filled tale that elicits a strong sense of empathy from the audience. Beautifully rendered and well-paced, the story features a subtle escalation in heart ache and healing. Each episode takes the time to fully immerse the audience in a complex micro-story filled with very human lives. This anime understands the importance of a well developed character, and spends it's time wisely weaving this incredibly vibrant, living world. Story aside, the animation and artwork are absolutely stunning. When paired, the audio and visual cues truly bring the world of Violet Evergarden to life. From start to finish, there is no other animation that delivers a more compelling sense of catharsis and satisfaction, and that is why I believe Violet Evergarden deserves to be Anime of the Year.

    Best Boy

    "I Would Lay Down My Life For Toono Hiyori" by Nija (Free! -Dive to the Future-)

  200 words definitely aren't enough to properly convey my intense love and appreciation for my everything, the light of my life, the absolute blessing that is Toono Hiyori from Free! but I'M STILL GONNA TRY because he deserves everything. Starting out as a fun antagonist, turning into a slightly confusing antagonist, and then ep. 6 hits you with that ABSOLUTE GUT-PUNCH and I weep for him always. He did some things wrong (though I understand why he did them and wouldn't say I necessarily disagree tbh) but in the end he's just a lonely boy giving everything for the person he cares about the most without ever asking anything in return. Less important but still Important things include: he's a jerk sometimes and I love it. His frenemyship with Asahi? The funniest thing. He can and will ruin your life with a smile, he loves reading and coffee and has a really good fashion sense, he's very organised and on top of things, even if he's a social mess lbr... And if he likes you, he'll probably kill for you. All in all he's just the best and you, person who's reading this entry, should know that too. Bless his soul.

  "Katsuki Bakugo, A Living, Breathing Explosion" by Mimi Valentine (My Hero Academia)

  Katsuki Bakugo is easily one of the most dynamic characters of the year. Starting with his complicated relationship with Izuku, his hidden jealousy for a boy with no quirk, to outright anger at him suddenly having a quirk, to the rejecting the trope of "rival becomes evil for greater power," to confessing his feelings of inferiority towards Izuku, and the intense self blame for what happened to All Might. Katsuki has always shown that he has this heart, from treating Uraraka as his equal in the torunament, to fully acknowledging Izuku's growth ans strength. Seeing his slow dismantle from just a typical bully to a hidden broken boy only to show you that under all that anger, he's truly just a boy who wants to be a hero.

  "Why Rimuru Tempest is the bestest boy of not just this year, but of all time" by Kat (That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime)

  There were a lot of good boys this year, but who was the goodest? The undoubtedly most delicious smudge-muffin in existence?

My answer is Rimuru Tempest and here's why:

He is the kindest ball of squidge you could ever meet. He would stop and help anyone in need at the drop of a hat. In his previous life he DIED saving his kohai from an attacker and he would do it again.

He is adorable. How could you take one look at his face (or lack there of) and not fall in love instantly with this soft boy? Not only is he soft in his ball form but once he grants the wish of a dear friend, he becomes the ultimate soft boy. One you could probably hug endlessly and both of you would still be comfortable.

He is the definition of epic. One of the first things he does with his new life is befriend and EAT a dragon. He ate him, whole. Then he proceeded to eat everything else in the cave. If you hurt one of friends he'll eat you too! Not before he beats you in a hilariously and awesomely one sided combat sequence though.

  BEST FIGHT SCENE

  "SSSS. Gridman's True Final Battle" by Donovan Bertch (SSSS. Gridman)

  The greatest part about SSSS.Gridman's final battle wasn't the sheer amount of quality animation and editing on display. It wasn't the satisfaction of seeing Gridman finally return to his original form, theme songs blaring, as he finally decked the villainous Alexis Kerib in his smug face. It wasn't even finding out what the hell SSSS actually meant in the end. All of those were wonderful moments that made the fight shine, to be sure. However, the greatest part was that when all was said and done, the fight wasn't Gridman vs. Alexis Kerib. It was the show's antagonist, Akane Shinjo, vs. Herself. Her sins, her insecurities, her self-hatred...it took a lot of effort, and it wasn't a total victory (given that Akane's final scene with Rikka shows her still processing her guilt), but few things are that simple. Even when the heroes came to encourage her, it was Akane who made the final choice that led to Kerib's downfall. Gridman may have landed the final strike and had the big speech about human potential, but Akane Shinjo defeated Alexis Kerib and saved her world. The action-packed duel was just icing on the cake.

  BEST VA PERFORMANCE (EN)

  "My Hero Academia, Episode 61: Bakugo's Breakdown (Clifford Chapin)" by Masky (My Hero Academia)

    In one of the most emotionally stirring episodes of the entire series, we finally see all of Bakugo's pent-up anger come to a boil in this what could be considered a huge turning point for his character development. As a character who is known for his angry outbursts, this episode let us have some insight into Bakugo's inferiority complex and really reminded us just how young and emotionally immature these upcoming heroes are, and yet how much responsibility is weighing on their shoulders. With such an important milestone for a character like Bakugo, the voice acting in this episode was critical. Clifford Chapin gave an extremely raw and powerful performance that truly echoed Bakugo's pain; a performance that exceeded expectations of even those who don't normally give dubs a try. It was real, emotionally-charged, and could be considered a landmark for just how far english dubs have come.

  "Clifford Chapin (Katsuki Bakugo)" by Katherine (My Hero Academia)

    My Hero Academia fans sure are spoiled with a fantastic same-day English simuldub in addition to everything we already love about the series! With great casting overall by ADR Director Colleen Clinkenbeard, Chapin's take on Bakugo is one of the highlights. He's consistently been such a natural fit for the role that I can't imagine anyone else voicing him, and always seems to give 110%. Season 3 has been no exception with some key moments to really shine, including a fan-favorite emotional confrontation. His vocal cords would probably disagree, but I'm definitely glad he's a part of one of my favorite anime from 2018.

  BEST OPENING SEQUENCE

  "Fighting Gold - Jojo's Bizarre Adventure" by Loon (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind)

    "Fighting Gold" is an intro I was honestly excited for long before it was even announce. I may be slightly biased as a manga fan and long time Jojo fan but in all honesty "Fighting Gold" is really a masterpiece in my opinion. It highlights the series so well with plenty of hidden spoilers as most Jojo intros have had before it telling the story perfectly if you break it down. It is an intro I will honestly never try to skip to get to the anime itself faster.

  BEST DIRECTOR

  "Akira Amemiya - SSSS.Gridman" BY Katherine (SSSS. Gridman)

    I would not be surprised to see SSSS.Gridman represented in quite a few categories this year, but its direction is where the show truly shines as one of the best of 2018. Akira Amemiya and Studio Trigger juxtapose the understated, day-to-day activities of our heroes with glorious, city-destroying kaiju battles without ever being jarring. However, that doesn't mean the former is only viewed though a mundane lens while the latter are just beautiful hype machines. Character moments have just as much flair as any fight with dynamic framing, art, and sound design, while tokusatsu battles are given so much attention to detail with how the kaiju move to pay homage to the live-action shows the team grew up with. Amemiya has a confident sense of visual language, and it shows every episode. SSSS.Gridman is subtle when it needs to be and bombastic when it wants to be, which is not an easy task to pull off.

---

  And there you have it, the diverse tastes of anime fans and people that praise the holy name of Bakugo. But even if you didn't find your submission on here, thank you for taking part in this and double thank you for supporting Crunchyroll over the past year. We do our best to give you the greatest anime collection in the universe, so we appreciate y'all taking the time to give us your thoughts in return.

  Remember, if you haven't voted in The Anime Awards, there's still time! And if you have, we look forward to sharing the winners with you on February 16th, when the Awards are streamed live on Twitch. 

    By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[mikesfarewell]

I’ll see you soon

April 30, 2018

“Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.”

If you’re reading this, I’m currently on a one-way flight from Vancouver to Toronto. For those who didn’t know, last summer I decided to permanently move to Toronto upon graduation. Over the years, my family and I have been through our share of struggles. Immigrating to Canada before I could even walk and nothing more than $500 in our pockets, it’s really no surprise. In truth, family has been a forbidden concept to me. Unfortunately, love often comes second to all the financial and social pressures. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents for all the sacrifices they’ve made. They’ve done way more than enough.

As most of you are thinking, moving is no big deal (distance in 2018 LUL), especially in my case where I have a crystal clear path in front of me. I think at the end of the day, I’m moving for the chance to fulfill my longing for uncertainty, for insecurity, for adventure. I’m looking to do things my way, and to learn more about anything and everything - without bounds. So why am I writing this? Did you really just stumble across a 13-year-old’s tumblr rant? No, but did you really think I’d go out without a bang?

Let’s be honest with each other. I’m writing this because I’m sad about leaving. I’m crying like a baby. I’m going to miss you guys. A lot. I think I speak for everyone when I say I want to be someone who will be missed. I’d like to think (now you know why my head is so big and round, how else does this ego fit?) that I made an impact on the lives of those I came in contact with, just as they’ve made an everlasting impact on mine. Throughout the rough patches in my life, it has been my friends who became my family. I needed every ounce of support that they’ve given me and they’re the reason that I am who I am. I’m forever in debt to you guys. For those below, I’d love to wish you guys the best (and I whole-heartedly do), but I hope you feel an ache in your heart when you realize that I’m halfway across the country (4,382 kilometres to be exact) when I cross your mind (but only so I can be the remedy to your heartache when/if I return, of course). 

As true to my transparent (and cringeworthy) self as I can be, I’d like to write to those who made me the person I am today. I’m so incredibly lucky to have met the people below, and to be a recipient of their company. I’m not going to apologize if I missed anyone - because I didn’t. There has been way too many unspoken words over the years, and there’s no better time than now. In short, thank you. For everything. This isn’t goodbye - I’ll see you soon.

(In chronological order):

Brenda Nguyen

You never forget your first crush. Looking back, it’s pretty surreal that I spent a solid 6-7 years chasing you. I’ll never forget the smile on my face when you’d write your name next to the number 5 on my dance card. Why else did I put so much effort into organizing those school dances with Mr. Biln? Still to this day, your birthday is the only one I know even better than my own. Every underground R&B track will remind me of the times you used to make fun of my taste in music - only to be listening to the same shit as me a week later. Drifting apart was only natural, but don’t think for a second I forgot about you. 

Karl Caslib

Thinking back to my childhood, we created my fondest memories together. Needless to say, you defined friendship for me. During those last few years at Norquay, I don’t think anyone thought we’d ever be apart. Our friendship taught me that it’s okay to treat your friends differently - because only then can you make the ones who matter feel special. You influenced most of my hobbies, my taste in women, and ultimately what I look for in a friend. You were the first person that treated me like family, and I’ll always remember that. I hope one day our paths will cross again and we can pick up where we left off. 

Surya Viswanathan

Most probably don’t know that we met playing baseball when we were like 7, but I’d be lying if I said I recognized you in grade eight. Some of my best memories from high school consists of joking around in your basement until sunrise. Or maybe it’s that time I came over for New Years and woke up with a face full of acne. I always admired your ability to connect with anyone you wanted and you showed me that being kind and genuine always pays dividends. Around you, I felt comfortable and confident, unafraid to go outside my comfort zone. Maybe one day I’ll be able to have the same kind of aura. I know you’re doing amazing things and I’m always here if you need a hand. 

Carter Fang

I’m not ashamed to say that you were definitely my parents’ favorite. Probably because you single-handedly changed the course of my life. It’s difficult to describe in words the impact you’ve had on me. Through you, I learned that intelligence is cool and our greatest weapon. You opened me up to asian pop culture, which is a large part of my life today. You always led by example, and proved that hard work triumphs all. Sometimes I wish we were still close because I don’t think I’ve met anyone that’s as good at having heart-to-heart conversations. With you, I never had to worry about if you were being honest or genuine, because you always were. Because of that, I’ve wore my heart on my sleeve ever since. 

Ethan Trinh

You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met - hands down. I miss the days we used to bike everywhere and roast Carter about everything we can think of. You showed me what it means to be dependable, and how important that is in a friendship. I was always impressed how lightly you took money and it’s still something I practice in my own life to this day. You never let others tell you how to think and always remained true to yourself. As someone who struggled with that as a kid, seeing your actions gave me the courage to fight against peer pressure of any kind. Anyone who has you in their life is incredibly lucky.

Wray Ip

Does shirtless snow-angels ring a bell?! I remember looking up to you and wanting to be just like you when we first started as friends. I admired you street smarts and how you always did whatever you wanted. That definitely rubbed off on me and I can’t thank you enough for that. I reminisce from time-to-time about the random shit we used to do, and how your family would always invite me to hotpot every year. I wish you the best.

Suzanna Che / Jenny Tan / Deanna Leung

None of you know this but you three were my role models growing up (along with Carter). I still remember being in that 4/5 split class with you and thinking how beautiful Suzanna was. Remember that?! The first time I saw how neat your handwriting was, I went home that day and practiced my handwriting for hours on end. Now I have all three of you to thank when everyone I meet says I write like a girl. I always aspired to have a friendship like yours, and I’m glad that your friendship has survived the test of time. I hope mine will as well. It makes me happy that you guys are all doing amazing things and it makes me so happy seeing Norquay friends succeed. 

Lalaine Oquendo

I don’t know what it is about our friendship that makes me miss it so much. I really do feel like we shared something special and there was something that compelled me to have your back no matter what. I won’t forget all the times you stuck up for me amidst all the high-school drama. You always had my back and I knew that you always had my best interests at heart. 

Derrick Feng

A5, 7, tears fully stacked, trollfest, UBC, the list goes on. Every notable experience that I’ve been through the past 9 years have been with you. Name a more iconic duo. Out of everyone on this list, you’re the person I’m certain will be by my side until we’re old and grey. Who else are you going to compete with? This is definitely not the end for us, and it makes this move a lot easier knowing this in my heart. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend, a brother. You have a big heart - not everyone can see it, but over the years I’ve learned to appreciate the things you do. It’s painful for me to know that we’ll be accomplishing so much in the next few years but rarely will we get to share it with each other. Promise me we’ll try our best to keep each other in the loop, okay? Let it be known that as egotistical as I am, I’ll always view you as my equal and there isn’t anyone I respect more. I believe in us to make the most of what we have and maybe one day even our kids will be the bestest of friends as well. Maybe they can compete and push each other to be better too. Out of the three OG couples, only yours is left standing. Take it to the end and give me a second reason to come visit you guys again. I won’t worry about you. I know we’ll be grinding as hard as we can - doing all that we can to succeed. I couldn’t be ore proud of you, of us, and it won’t be long until we cross paths again.

Ronald Lin

Why does it feel like our friendship is untouchable? We’ve been through so many ups and downs and yet at the end of the day, nothing can break us. Let’s not forget the first time we met. I sat in front of you on the bus ride to the Grade 8 retreat and offered you my only Kit Kat. Little did you know, Kit Kat is my favorite chocolate bar, but I was scared of you and wanted to be on your good side. We’ve come so far since then. Let’s not forget all the times we lit fires in Central Park, adventured deep into the depths of Stanley, biked until the birds chirped, and all the nights I stayed out too late because you were my only ride. Burnaby boys have to stick together, and I’ll always be a Burnaby boy at heart. Thanks for sticking by my side since the start. The memories we shared will never be forgotten and I know we’ll pick up right where we’ve left off when we reunite. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask - I’ll be right there.

Martin Chiang / Louie Wong

The tricky thing about tipping points, is you can only define them in retrospect. I don’t think any of us knew that a anonymous letter in Mr. Mar’s mailbox would be the beginning of a legendary friendship. I couldn’t have picked better friends to spend my teen years with. It’s unbelievable how much chaos we caused and how much fun we had doing it. Above all, we were undyingly loyal to each other every step of the way. Although all good things eventually fade away, I have no doubt that our friendships are eternal. I’m excited to see where life takes us and the stories we’ll have to tell when we meet again.

Sonny Lim

Never despair. Throughout the years, you’ve been the living embodiment that “life goes on”. I want you to know that there’s a reason you’ve been a close friend to me and our mutual friends all these years. Don’t sell yourself short. I hope one day you can muster up the courage to step out of your comfort zone and make a permanent, positive change to your life. You’re every bit as capable as the rest of us, prove it to yourself. 

Jason Huang

I remember thinking you were just some random guy when you were showing me magic tricks in Ms. Sam’s class. Little did we know that we’d become the closest of friends in a matter of months. Tears fully stacked is a big part of why our friend group is able to share our feelings towards each other so easily. It really took our friendship(s) to another level. Your empathy is something that everyone can appreciate and the little things you do for others is something that often goes unnoticed, but truly shows how selfless you are. You’ve heard this from me before, but I appreciate your generosity and it definitely gets taken for granted way too often. It makes me so happy to see you succeed and when you start the next billion-dollar company, I’d love to do the finances for you. We’ll definitely stay in touch, and I wish you the very best with WT (When’s the wedding?! Give me an excuse to come back!).

Hugo Kwan

Is it fair to say that we’ve spent ten times as much time on Skype than we have IRL? Jokes aside, it’s been a pleasure to be your friend, your MS party member, your league duo partner, your.. okay I’ll stop before the cringe gets too much. I’ve slowly realized that you’re a low-key genius and with the right amount of confidence, you’re going to do amazing things. It’s been amazing how much your confidence has grew and you’re only getting started. Don’t forget about me - who else is gonna climb out of Gold with me?!

Jailen Goodson

It’s hilarious to think that you came into high school being afraid of me, when in reality it was me deathly afraid of you. We had such a strong mutual respect for each other that it eventually turned into a friendship that I never want to forget. You made high school so enjoyable for me and the nights at Surya’s house are ones I’ll always remember. Because of you, I’ve learned how important it is to have tough skin and to shrug off what others say. You taught me that once you start competing with yourself, that’s when the challenge starts. I’ve never stopped competing ever since.

Jodie Huang

Can I start off by saying I miss you? Of all the people on this list, you’re the one I wish I treated better. I really didn’t know how much our friendship meant to me until it was gone. In Ms. DeSouza’s class, you and Yuqing changed my life for the better. I always idolized how seamless you were with your writing and how you can naturally ace a titration test while I was trying my very best just to keep up (I’d never let you know that of course). You made the academic side of school fun for me and the joy of learning has never left me since. I realized too late that you were my friend, someone who looked out for me all this time. I won’t forget that night when you stayed up with me to talk about all my insecurities and struggles. So, so many regrets. Hopefully we can rekindle our friendship sometime.

Brandon Kwok

It’s hard to believe that from now on, the only place I’ll be seeing you is Tilted Towers (or Mighty Mars?). Jokes aside, I’m happy to have grown to be such great friends with you. As we started getting really close through 3D1A, I always enjoyed including you in everything I did because you bring the positive energy and everyone needs in their life. We give you way too much shit because the truth is, any girl would be really lucky to have you. GO OUT AND FIND HER! Thinking about it now, it’d be impossible for us not to be friends given all the similar interests we share. I remember looking forward to the end of my lectures because we’d have so much planned to do together every Tuesday and Thursday. Or maybe we were going to game non-stop until we were both tilted off the face of the planet. You treated me like family, and I won’t forget the love that both you and your family showed me every time I come over (yeah, even you Brian). I’m looking forward to hearing that you’ve figured out what you love in life and pursuing it with all your heart. I’ll be waiting.

Henry Yu

From bullying you to defending you at every turn, is it safe to say that our friendship has come the furthest of them all? Respect is one thing, but loyalty is another beast. You’ve been loyal to me ever since that day, and we’ve never turned back. I’m proud to call you my friend. I don’t care who you become or what you do moving forward, I’ll always and forever have your back. I’ll always be here to support you. Hold it against me all you want, because I mean it with all my heart. The friendship and trust that we share is something special and I will cherish that until the day we meet again. There’s not a doubt in my mind that you’re going to pick yourself back up and prove to the world that you’ve got something incredible to offer. I’ll be cheering you on every step of the way. Remember that just because I won’t be there physically to be a shoulder to cry on, I’ll always make time to catch up and we can talk about our feelings for hours on end. Keep your head up. I’m with you to the end.

Crystal Au

There’s only one person who could’ve kept me in Vancouver. Is it an exaggeration to say that the Biology 12 project we did for Ms. Tam was the favorite school project I’ve ever done in my life? I think not. October 31, 2013 was the day you fearlessly (or more like fearfully) shot roman candles into the night sky. The colors of the shots is the perfect metaphor for what has happened since that day. My life was never the same. The world knows by now that I see you in the brightest of lights. There will never be another Crystal, I’ve come to terms with that. Of everyone on this list, I have no idea what distance will do to us. You taught me through action that you have to grab every chance you get with the people you love. I should’ve listened more carefully. You know, having someone that changes you for the better is the best thing out there. Having someone do it again and again and again is unheard of. It’s more than I can ever ask for. Thank you. The reality is, when we can no longer change the situation, we are forced to change ourselves. This is the hardest goodbye. Don’t be a stranger. 

Kitty Zhu

My eighteen-year-old self wanted to marry you. Same for 19, and 20. I always said, everything changes but one thing stays the same. I don’t think our relationship ever changed, but people do. I don’t regret a thing. The happiness we shared in our time together would be enough for a lifetime. I wish you the best, because that’s what you deserve. I’m always here if you need anything.

Melanie Kung

I have a clear memory of sitting in the backseat of a 2001 VW Golf as my dad drove through mountains in Scotland while I desperately searched for internet connection to continue a conversation we were having. Remember that? You were by far the easiest person to open up to and I always felt like we were on the same page. There wasn’t a thing I felt I couldn’t tell you. From the moment we met, you chose to take my side and I appreciate that. Patiently waiting for the day we catch up again.

Wesley Chan

I knew from the moment we got to know each other that this friendship was going to last a lifetime. That won’t change. You’re everything anyone could ever ask for in a friend. You’re caring, selfless, considerate, and everything in between. When I was going through the toughest of times, you were always by my side. Never did I feel any negativity or resentment from you, or judgement of any kind. I owe you the world. There are no words to describe the friend that you are and I hope I made you feel appreciated when I had the chance. I won’t forget the countless nights you came to save my drunk ass. I won’t forget the fun days we spent together: eating dessert, watching movies, biking, travelling to Korea (Iow-key kinda sounds like we were dating KappaPride). I know we’ll be reunited soon and I’ll be patiently waiting for that day. Call me if you need me, whenever.

Elaine Nguyen

You and I both know how much I appreciate our friendship. I love how we can always be honest with each other without any fear of judgement. It’s nice to have someone that understands the struggles we go through and that it’s okay to not always be the best version of ourselves. You made my life so much easier ever since I met you and you can always count on me to support you in any decision you make. I’m always going to be in your corner. 

Wynne To

Is it just me or do I still remember the first couple weeks of our friendship extremely clearly? You have no idea how hard it is to find someone as real as you are. You give and you take at face value and that’s why we get along so well. Only you can match my bluntness (but even so, I still out-do you, I was born in savagery). Funny thing is, you’re going to be my first excuse to come back to Vancouver - so tell Hanki to hurry up and say the magic words already! Thanks for being supportive and kind even when I didn’t deserve it. 

Gurinder Mahal / Christie Chau

I don’t think my life at UBC truly started until I met you two. Before our friendship, school was routine. Not only did you guys make my life interesting (at my expense), I started looking forward to going to school. I’d be lying if I said you guys didn’t have a large influence on my academic success. There’s no doubt in my mind that our friendship will continue on past this phase (especially when we reunite this summer), but I wanted to show my appreciation nonetheless. I’m typing this now, but don’t expect anything nice from me for a year - I love you both.

Talise Tsai

Before I met you, I didn’t think someone like you existed. I admire your drive, your determination to do nothing but good - it’s all incredibly inspiring. It motivates me to make a real difference, regardless of scale. Ever since meeting you, you’ve changed the way I approach life. Let’s make sure we always put our best foot forward. This is only the beginning of our friendship, and I can’t wait to what Toronto has in store.

Iris Chu

Do you remember when you used to be deathly afraid of me (I still have no idea if that was serious or not LOL)? In our limited time as friends, you’ve been a shining light that I wish I got to know sooner. Being around you brings nothing but happiness and that’s something everyone needs in their life. If there’s ever a time I’m in dire need of a photographer, I’ll know who to call! I wish you the best of luck and I hope you’ll still be in Vancouver the next time I pass through.

Daniel Duncombe

As proclaimed by Bowie, the golden boy himself. Because of you, I joined JDC West, leading to the highlight of my past four years. It’s I’m not afraid to admit that look up to you and I wish I could go about life the way you go about yours. The friendships you’ve built and your openness to experience is to die for. You’re without a doubt one of my biggest role models and I’ll see you at the top of another summit the next time I’m in town.

Stella Cho

How many people can you say you’ve jumped off a plane with? It feels like we’ve never actually “hung out” like normal friends cause every time we do, we’re doing something spontaneous and exciting. Just like the start of our friendship, we’ve always took our adventures away from Vancouver. Looks like the future has plenty more of that left to come.

Clara Chu

To tell you the truth, I don’t think I could’ve made it through JDC without you. In my weakest moments, you were an amazing listener and showed me how important it is to listen first and judge second. We’ve grown so close in the past year and it’s all because we just understand each other. Can’t wait to be a terrible influence on you when we go on our adventures this summer. I’ll always be here when you need someone to lean on.

Thanks for giving me the time of day for the past 20 years. I’m a firm believer in fate. If life brings me back to you, I’ll be running as fast as I can. 

I’ll be seeing you,

M

[survivoremathia]

Ep. 2 - "You May be Hot but You Can at Least Pretend to Laugh at my Jokes" - Isaac

I am now in a trio alliance with JD and Lydia. We're like Destiny's Child, but I'm Beyonce of course. The strategy (originally thought of by JD), is what I've dubbed 'Destiny's Child and Destiny's Children'. Us three are the core three, who will each link up with another one of the children, to form a majority. We'll pool all the information together and control the tribe. Can you call us a thruple?

The next immunity challenge - Afterlife Crawl - is issued.

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/157844105761/immunity-challenge-2

Swedevivor. Whoever the branding team behind Swedish Survivor was needs to GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER. Swedevivor is a genius name! Anywho, just did the Elysium part of the challenge and I think I did okay (even though I took probably too long...)... I've not too pressed about this challenge, as Aleeza is the unfortunate obvious first boot if we go to tribal anywho.

I'm feeling overwhelmed by this game, I haven't done anything for either challenge and I only know the names of three of my tribe members. It's like a ticking time bomb of when will I be voted off

I HAVE MY OWN WIKI PAGE, TAKE THAT HATERS!

http://tumblr-survivor-athena.wikia.com/wiki/Ali

My confession? I love Jay. Right now I love Jay more than I love Abbey. Mostly because Jay needs the extra support, but I do. Love u both sm have a great night babes

I just want my tribe to like me and I'm trying really hard because I feel like they don't™. Like lowkey everytime I make a joke it isn't acknowledged and I try very hard to come up with material. Also Samuel in particular I feel like doesn't like me. He kind of doesn't even acknowledge my existence? Like bye you may be hot but you can at least pretend to laugh at my jokes.

Whew i think this is my first one so We voted out Linus bc he wasnt there (and because me matt ryan and Owen alligned) and now we slayed this fucking challenge we literally did that whew. I trust my alliance for now but we'll see about that in the future ColinHEY I DID SOMETHING. I ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING TO HELP OUT :') I can't believe I did that. Im cryin. I did something productive y'all. i saved us from going to tribal council. Now we're the only tribe still completely intact. I'm also starting to talk a lot with the people on my tribe?? And I think I get along with like everyone?? To think last round I was crying about how I wouldn't fit in bc I'm new and all and now IM DOING THAT.

OH YEAH I ALSO HAVEN'T MADE A CONFESSIONAL SINCE LAST ROUND SO I'LL UPDATE YALL WITH MY NEW STRATEGY™. So I still love Logan and Trevor so much. I talk to them pretty much daily. Now I'm DETERMINED TO GET AN OFFICIAL ALLIANCE TONIGHT!!!! WISH ME LUCK YALL. Right now I still kinda wanna lay low. Like not to toot my own horn but I am a really good strategic player and manipulator, but I don't want to show that yet. I need to just play socially right now. I need to sit back, let others do stuff, and build a cute lil alliance around me. I'm stoked for this game now y'all have no idea

Boy do I have a lot to talk about. So first off YAY! First alliance! Me, Ali and Lydia are calling our selves Destiny's Children. Kinda because our plan was to baby the others in the tribe to make sure they were comfortable, then when we had to we'd start kicking them off. I don't think we're gonna do that anymore but we are three and we are with the newbies so I don't think they'll notice. Or one of us will get blind sides. But really... Why? The three of us were the strongest in the first challenge and we /almost all/ bombed the last one. Get rid of the person not playing, they are the weakest link, so good bye.

OKAY THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I'VE MADE A CONFESSIONAL IN LIKE THE PAST HOUR BUT I GOT A LOT TO SAY. Ok maybe adding Trevor and Logan into an alliance was  BAD IDEA they seem awkward and they both told me they used to not get along so this is a weird alliance dynamic. But they both still cute and sweet so I'll try to make it work. If this ends up biting me in the ass I'll cry.

So gosh, I got a little worried earlier. Thought that my alliance member was picking a fight with one of the hosts. Dear god, worried as fuck I was. But that's what you get for only seeing one side of the conversation. I'm glad she spoke up, even if she didnt win the tie breaker and we still gotta go to tribal but it's alllll good. I'm glad she did it. Gave us a fighting chance and put two of our own in the labrynth too. And one of my own :D

Once again, I have no clue what's going on this game. I'm just trying to float on by and get through to the next challenge and hopefully get to play

I'm pretty sure Ali is in control of our tribe, which I'm okay with as long as they can keep me safe

George and Aleeza are removed from the Odysseus tribe after officially quitting, which will be announced later in the episode.

George and Aleeza just got removed from the tribe at the same time and then we were told a post was coming. Hopefully that means Aleeza was voted out or something because Aleeza is barely ever active in the tribe.

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/157888463891/results-immunity-2

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/157890146531/announcement-tiebreaker

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/157890928596/results-tie-breaker

my tribe won immunity I'm very happy but rip Lydia huh

*blink*blink*.  The fuck just happened??!?!

So I’m pretty sure Trevor just went to everybody and told them about the labyrinth in the rules things because I was talking to Rob and he said that Trevor told him and Logan about the Labyrinth rule things and I was like hm that’s funny. And now I look at the wiki and our tribe is the only tribe to have pretty much everyone go to the labyrinth I think. I kinda know about the game Trevor plays because I read generations confessionals when I was really bored one day. I know something he likes to do to build trust with people is throw them information that you would think he would only tell you because he trusts you when in reality it’s something that he just using to make you believe that he trusts you with important information. For example the labyrinth being one of those things. You would think that only somebody who trusts you would tell you a way to get into the labyrinth. Well Trevor knows that, and he’s trying to use it to his advantage and he’s not being very sneak about it. I don’t blame him I do the same exact thing but I don’t go to literally everyone and tell them that. People talk and now he’s already getting caught trying to have his hand in multiple cookie cookie jars. I’m happy I decided to call with Rob because after this call I feel like I have a few plays that I can make to survive our first tribal council. Whenever that is at least. First Rob told me that Logan doesn’t trust Trevor and there’s some bad blood between them and Trevor. Now say like I said in my last confessional it does come to one of us three bangladesh peeps being targeted cause that’s really the only smart thing for these people to do. I can just pull a Cady Herron and shove Logan right in front of a bus and just tell Trevor that Logan doesn’t trust him because of Divergent which he knows will be true cause I know nothing about that game so there’s no reason for me to know that without actually being told it. If it has to be someone from bangladesh I want it to be Logan cause Rob is someone who I do really trust for now. I don’t know whether I should hold onto the information about Logan not trusting Trevor or if I should tell him whenever we end up calling like he wanted to. I do really like Trevor as a friend but I also am thinking it might be good to eventually take him out if I see that there is an opportunity to now or at a tribe swap. I’m hoping Lydia will really want to work with me because if she is willing to I’m willing to actually be loyal to her and be a close ally to her. But I know her and Trevor are like the bestest friends so there is no chance of Lydia being loyal to me over him which I don’t like. I’m such a selfish player lkvwcwkkw. I feel like I trust Trevor, and I trust Lydia. But for some reason when I think about playing with the both of them like together I don’t trust them as much as playing with just one of them at a time. Just cause I feel like if it is us three together than I will always be the musketeer that’s on the outs and they will definitely trust each other over me. I need to take Trevor out so that Lydia doesn’t have that person that she is comfortable with to run to once we swap or merge. I want to be that person that Lydia trusts the most if I do end up working with her and that will never be me as long as Trevor is in the game.

... in the words of a wise host called... Host 1... *" CATCH THESE HANDS"*

George and Aleeza officially quit the game, and a mutiny is offered in attempt to re-balance the tribes. Tribal council is cancelled.

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/157917281706/announcement

OH YIKES A MUTINY. Okay so unless Logan or Trevor both say they want to mutiny, I won't, under any circumstances. I don't see any benefit to mutiny at this point, like our tribe seems pretty solid and intact. I really hope no one from Oympus chooses to mutiny. It'd just be bad to lose someone at this point, I'd rather just wait for the tribe swap in a couple rounds. The only people on our tribe who I feel MAY leave would be Isaac and Sam. I'm not really that close with them but I still desperately want them to stay. Ugh yikes this makes things weird. There is a small sinking feeling inside of me that is saying Trevor will mutiny to be with Owen, his boyfriend. But I trust him enough that I think he'd at least tell me if he was going to, so then I can actually go with him. Then i'd at least be with Owen and Duncan, the only two people in this game I actually knew beforehand. But still, TL;DR, YIKES I HOPE NO ONE FROM OLYMPUS DECIDES TO MUTINY WE'RE DOING SO WELL. Sami guess now it's finally time to make a confession! so everything has been going relatively smoothly? i hasn't run into too much trouble because i haven't really given a reason for people to target me. however, the only person that i truly trust is trevor, but i feel like he's being highly targeted by all the others. that's frustrating. now, there's a mutiny offer, and trevor wants to go. i don't believe i have a target, but i don't want to lose him. and, i also feel that if i mutiny, i will create a target on myself. so it's very very difficult to make this choice. stay tuned, kids!

https://youtu.be/RnLuEORFH9M

Mutiny results: http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/157927339256/mutiny-results