#not my best art since im still recovering from art block but its still made with love 😔✌🏻

[mikuyuuss]

Baby Sabigiyuu 💔 I wanted to at least draw them before the new episode releases

[kururuyakku]

little update on myself

hey guys, i never thought id post this here ever again but. hey. i want to give an update on myself since once in a while i get DMs asking what happened and ive updated on my twitter but not here. its under a read more because theres... few triggers.

first if you have question here’s a rundown

so, shit happened. thats the simple way to add it. on what happened on tumblr i wont go into it again because it was honestly so fucking stupid, but here’s the rundown: no, i dont ship pedophilia. i was AGAINST the ship, but someone cropped a comment where someone was wrongly explaining the ship to me, and people jumped at my throat from it. i never shipped it and spoke against the ship. no im not a terf for not wanting to have sex with someone, and sending me rape threats about it and shaming me for it is just rape culture, and it was disgusting of those who did it. shame on you. i’m not white, and all those racist ass anons y’all sent won’t change it. yes, I have black alters, i have alters of different races, and when I provided MANY legit sources yall just said ‘’im not reading that’’, as well as completely ignoring other people with DID who tried to explain. so that was straight up ableism. again, shame on you. (also this post from my friend that explains well too)

now, outside of these things, more shit still happened which im not proud of. but these things won’t be any more public than it has already been, because honestly, it’s nobody’s business but those involved and I already made a mistake by publicly attacking the person involved. so it’s all i’ll say on the matter because again, nobody’s business but those involved and i don’t want to turn my life into a reality TV more than it already became.

my friends and i, now for years, have been accused of pedophilia, grooming, and being predators. Now, yes, some of us/my friends have done wrong things, and we’ve/they’ve apologized for it, but pedophilia and grooming was not part of it. They have NO PROOF PROVIDED, their story never follow each others, and some claimed to be victims despite never having been in direct contact with my friends at all. we have a whole document that we spent weeks making in our defense with visual proof and statements from witnesses.

my abusive, compulsive liar, two-faced, cheating asshole of an ex is now spreading this mess and calling me a predator, and a danger to minor, and completely ruined my dream of wanting to write a children’s book, all because I defended people wrongly accused of pedophilia. I got trauma from the whole thing, even developed two new alters, went back into therapy, because I was harassed so badly from it, got many death threats every day, rape threats, said im a danger to my niece and my nephew, and was stalked and harassed on every platforms. i couldn’t hide, they would find them. we couldn’t block, they would message us on other accounts and tell us to die.

enough is enough. we went through self-harm and suicide attempts because of this shit. went to the hospital. brought to the cops and we’re heavily talking of a lawsuit, but we’re waiting until our friend is mentally stable enough and recovers properly. i truly, genuinely cannot do this shit anymore. im tired of being followed everywhere and having everything i do being watched, tired of crying when i think of my sister’s children, tired of my life being ruined over false accusations.

i know im not the best person in the world. i know ive done some mistake, but im owning up to them. im trying to be better every single day and im just trying to survive another night. but these days, internet culture is just too toxic for me as i battle through the revival of my BPD and crippling depression. 

so, please, leave me alone. leave us alone. we’re tired, and i cant bear seeing my friends go through another suicide attempt or, god fucking forbids, make it work. we’re tired. we just want to draw and have fun. stop with the goddamn harassments, stop calling us predators, stop the witchhunting that goes through social medias. leave us alone. im so fucking tired of fighting back.

ive suffered through rape threats, death threats and massive stalking that gave me massive trauma and caused two new alters. im terrified just posting this but i need to. im scared just commenting on my mom’s post on facebook because what if someone finds me there. im shaking when i hit ‘post’ when i try to be brave just a little and post my art to try and get back out there despite my name being dragged through the mud. im scared whenever i have a notification somewhere. i want to be okay again. 

if youve read this, thank you. if youre a friend of mine, and youve stuck with me through this entire mess, thank you even more. maybe one day i’ll be okay enough to be out there again without being terrified for my life.

[thorsstorms]

Abroad Pt. 8

Summary: Being the Hemsworth Kids’ Nanny, you were vowed to keep it strictly professional for their sake, but do the stolen glances go unnoticed between you both?

Word count: 6.4k

Warnings: Smut! (18+!!) Oral, F reciving. 

A/N:  Posting this on April 24th!! I see endgame tomorrow evening, are you ready for it??

Masterlist

Coming to your senses, you knew it was early. The window showed a darkness what hadn’t been swallowed by the sun yet. That’s what you get for sleeping so much yesterday. Peeking open your eyes, curling into the warmth that your lover gave off was enough to put you in a good mood for the day. You pulled the blankets over your shoulders and softly moved your arm over his back, though not wanting to wake him up, just wanting to touch him.

Laying there was peaceful and it gave you time to think. How long had it been since you’ve moved in? Five months? Six? What were you doing before this? Seemingly all the sudden, you are in California in a house with new additions to your life that you never thought possible in this lifetime. Since when are you the sentimental one?

It’s because you love him, you loved him and his kids and his whole family and you weren’t getting out anytime soon. Today you get to go to Disney for the first time. You peaked up at the clock, T-minus 6 hours and you will be at the happiest place on Earth.

You have probably 2 hours before the kids wake up as as much as you missed them, you still wanted to milk these 2 hours the best you can. You quietly and slowly slide out of bed, blushing to yourself realizing you are still naked. Maybe you shouldn’t leave him alone.

The thought left your mind when you felt him roll over. You sat on the edge of the bed and watched his arm reach out and land on the sheets lazily. He laid still for a second before his eyes popped open and he sat up on his elbows quickly, finally finding you staring at him almost laughing at his reaction. Then finding it not so funny, mean maybe. You laid back down with him and he lets out a sleepy ‘I love you’, successfully making your heart stop in place.

“Tell me you love me (y/n),” he said quickly with tickling fingers running up your sides.

“I love you, I love you!” You squealed him, pushing away his arms, “but not when you do that!” He rolled on his back pulling you with him. You just stared down at him while he closed his eyes, a small smile shying way on his face.

“I can’t sleep anymore, I’m wide awake,” you whispered to him.

“Ok, fine.” He said, you rolled off him standing out of bed while he threw the covers off.

“Chris you can still sleep, you don’t have to get up,” you told him, feeling bad for waking him.

“No I should get up anyway,” he grumbled rubbing his eyes, staring around the room. You blushed looking away from him as he reached for his boxers, you grabbing your own clothing.

~

“I wanna go for a walk.” You told him grabbing a water from the fridge. It’s just barely 6:30 AM. You watched as he grabbed a banana from the counter and looked around for his phone. You justified him a little more, telling him that the kids won’t wake up for a couple more hours and you weren’t the only two adults here. He just shrugged his shoulder and slipped on Liam’s shoes, now the second time your caught him doing that.

You both walked out the front door and saw the sun peeking up behind some trees to the east. Thinking to yourself that this time of day is the most peaceful. You walked around the block, not many cars out at this hour.

“I’m really excited to go to Disney today, I’ve never been,” you admitted after a moment of walking. It was an excitement that the more you thought about it the more you could hold it in.

“Oh-ho, it’s a blast, India will take you all over the place!”

You both decided that while they are doing their event, you and the kids wouldn’t be there till after it was over, spending that time exploring the park instead. You walked around the block while he asked about what you did back home and how you spent your time. You told him how much you didn’t realize you missed it. Watching your brother on the baseball field, fun summer nights with your seemingly 100 cousins.

This was time that you need alone with him. Just talking about nothing in particular. It was when you got to notice the cute wrinkles around his eyes when he smiles big, his floppy hair when it is not fixed, and how silly he is. A work of art, really. You both rounded the block and slowly made your way back to the house, the sun finally sitting low in the horizon.

“What are the other two doing today?” You asked as you walked up the driveway.

“I’m not sure, there isn’t much they can do about the house yet.” Inside was still dead silent. You grinned to yourself, a quiet house is rare. You walked to the bathroom to pull your hair into a braid and putting on clothes for the day. You emptied out your backpack and started to gather things that you might need for the day with them at the park.

“Chris!” You whispered yelled across the living room. “I need to go the store, do you need anything?” He replied with a no, and as soon as you grabbed the keys from the counter you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. The two of you stood staring at the staircase from your spots in the house waiting to see who comes out and.. It was just Miley. Thank god, if the kids woke up at this hour you would be S.O.L. later.

“Wait, I wanna go.”  She mumbled as she walked towards you and slipped on her sneakers she left at the front door. Her hair was already in a bun and she was dressed like she had already been awake. You both waved goodbye and walked out.

“How long have you been awake?” You pulled the door shut behind you and started the car, realizing you had no idea where to go.

“Like an hour.” You started to pull open a map on your phone to a Target. The morning was not busy and you held a small conversation about what she was going to do, move to the house in Tennessee was the best option for them both right now. You listened quietly while you followed the directions, listening to some music coming through the car.

“Do you wanna come with us today?” Breaking the comfortable silence that fell over you both, it was too early for conversation, coffee first. One of those moments that you were thankful for starbucks being inside the store.

“Where to?”

“Disney! Its my first time and Im taking the kids, Chris has to be there for an event.” you smiled getting excited all over again. You were sure you could handle it yourself, but having another adult would be nice. She watched you get giddy and a smile take over your face, she knew she couldn’t ruin your first experience there.

“I would love to, but I actually think I’ll stay back,” you tried to skip the pout that was coming but it made a small appearance. You recovered quickly, letting it go and got out of the car with her.

You both stood in line at the Starbucks, only one person in front of you. You quickly order a iced coffee, and let her order hers and you paid for both after some convincing that it was your treat.  You sat at a small table waiting for your name and realized you left your phone in the car, what else were you supposed to do with your hands?

Your name was called a few seconds later, and a minutes later they called a ‘Destiny’ and Miley got up and grabbed the drink. You gave her an incredulous look, about to laugh at her for choosing a different name and then she slowly saw the look of realization fall over your face. She was wearing a sweatshirt that you knew for a fact was Chris’s and she had sunglasses still covering her eyes. She needs clothing but she doesn’t want to be recognized.

“Oh,” you said under your breath, feeling dumb. “Do you always use that name?” She nodded with a solemn look on her face while you both headed towards the clothing section. While deep in the racks she eventually pulled the glasses to the top of her head. After a few outfits and clothing for Liam you both quickly went around for your items and some groceries for the house. They were only staying for a few more days, but you were going to be there for a while longer, kids gotta eat something.

You really only needed some necessities like personal hygiene things, indulged in a few makeup items, and a new silk navy tank that you decided would look good with a Disney themed outfit. Might as well enjoy it while you are there, right?

Miley silently thanked the heavens that you both got in and out of there, no problem, when you were sat back in the car that was loaded with bags.

“I think we got more than what we came for,” you joked, mostly to yourself but she definitely agreed. On the way back you kept pondering over how she kept such a watchful eye on her surroundings. Quick looks to her left or right, it didn’t go unnoticed by you, you had seen Chris do the same thing only a few times.

“So, is that why you wont come with us today?” You wondered out loud. Curiosity doesn’t stop you, but you already knew the answer.

“I would love to, but I just dont think its a good idea. But don’t worry about me, Disney is so much fun, you’ll have fun without me.” Feelings of regret washed over you, you shouldn’t have asked, should have known better. Of course she wasn’t going to go, especially not with the kids, she already got too much going on. Nodding your head, you turned on the music and let it take over the car, both of you trying to suppress your laugh as ‘Sucker’ was in the middle of playing on the local station. Yea, you can check off finding another best friend off your to do list.

Back at the house, the TV was playing Trolls with two out of three kids sitting, watching intently with a bowl of fruit in between them. After sorting through all the things you bought and putting them away you parked yourself at the dining table, watching both brothers cook up some breakfast.

“I’m so hungry I could die.” You propped your elbows up on the table, the smell of bacon wafting around making your mouth water. “Holy shit that’s a lot of bacon.” You admired the mountain piling up on the plate.

“Yea and $10 bucks Liam eats all of it like a cow,” that earned Chris a double dead leg kick to the back of the knees, but he quickly turned and smacked him with the spatula. Liam yelped a “fuck that’s hot” jumping away.

“Respect your elders,” Chris warned him a turned back to the stove, laughing to himself and winking at you. You watched in amusement as Liam rolled his eyes and took it upon himself to stop what he was doing and pinch Chris under his arms. He turned and threw the spatula at him while Liam tried to run from him across the island of the kitchen.

“Touch me again and I’ll kill you,” Chris warned him, almost like he wasn’t messing around. You thought ‘oh shit’, for both their sakes. All three of you in the room new he was about to come back at him as soon as Chris turned his back again.

And he did. He pulled open the drawer for another utensil. You watched with wide eyes of amusement as Liam slowly picked up the spatula off the ground and prepared himself to throw it and dart out of the kitchen for the stairs. It was almost as if you could see himself counting to three in his head, and then he threw it.

“Run!” You yelled at Liam as he crossed you headed for the stairs. You watched as Chris got ahold of the back of his shirt, Liam slipped himself out of it and opted for the back door instead, better luck to not get trapped. The back door flew open and you heard Tristan yell from the living room, “Get him Papa!” You three peaked out the door, Miley skipping down the stairs to join you.

“Oh my god!” You exhausted. You watched Chris take Liam to the ground and put him in a headlock. You gasped and threw a hand to your mouth trying to cover your laugh, not working very well.

“You gonna stop being a shithead?” You heard Chris ask him. Was this unusually hot? Yes.

“Don’t break him, I need him!” You heard Miley toss back as she walked away from the door frame in the kitchen where the bacon was probably burning. So is this the shit that Jennifer Lawrence used to talk about in her interviews? That was a thought you definitely kept to yourself.

~

“So these are your fast pass thingys, they will let you go to the shorter lines for the rides.” He started handing you four, “Gen got you this map of the park so don’t get lost, please. India will try to get you to stay in line to meet Elsa and Anna, don’t do it for the love of God, I have like three pictures of them and the line is forever long. The boys like messing with Gaston if you find him, and they are all three scared of the Lilo and Stitch ride, so you might want to stay away from that.” He looked good, like way good. Like, thinking unholy thoughts in the happiest place on Earth, good.

“I think I got it.” You were in a backroom in a building. Someone was ready to lead you out into the park. The both of you quickly went over rules with the kids. Always be holding someone’ hand, whether it was a sibling or yours, no running to far ahead, and don’t take your pass off your neck, things like that though you knew you would be repeating yourself for the next few hours.

“Okay,” you took a deep breath, turning to him. “You good? You look really really good.” you told him messing with his scarf.

“I’m always good.”

“Right…Well, I’ll see you in a few hours?” You looked over your shoulder at the kids then back to him.

“Uh, are you good?” The excitement was probably rolling off you in waves, taking a breath trying to calm yourself.

“I’m about to go find some Disney princesses of course I’m good.”

“Okay, I love you.”

“I love you too.” You kissed him goodbye, pulling him down by the silly scarf he had with his outfit. He watched a pink glow take over your cheeks. You knew there wasn’t anyone around that probably cared, but he was kissing you in the most public place he ever had. It was easy to forget, that one was on you.

“Oh my god,” you said quickly, pulling in, using Chris as a shield. “Is that, Robert Downey Jr.?” You shyly looked up at Chris, and then peaked again over his shoulder. “Oh my god it is.”

Chris turned slowly and you watched in horror as he winked at you and yelled, “Robert!” You turned your head the other way and looked at the kids. Sasha has parked himself on the floor while India leaned into you from behind, waiting patiently, watching the people around you and Tristan had your phone.

You felt Chris take a few steps and heard him greet him. Your heart was beating so fast, and you wanted to kill Chris, of course he would call him over. “Who is this is just saw you smooching on?” That was your cue. You turned around and Chris pulled your hand to his, intertwining his fingers with yours which were visibly shaking, you knew he could feel it.

“This is (y/n), and she’s my girl,” he said looking down at you. “My girlfriend.” You blushed under his stare. It sounded like such a juvenile thing to say, but were you complaining? Not one bit. “But we are keeping quiet for now,” he corrected himself and told him. Robert nodded in understanding.

“Well, (y/n) it’s nice to finally meet you,” he shook your hand but as always, you thoughts show on your face. Finally? “Oh I’ve heard all about you, even gotten a couple pictures of you.” He said proudly with a smart ass look on his face.

“You what?” you asked him. You looked up at Chris, “You what?”

“Oh yea we all have, he never shuts up about you!”

“Pictures? Christopher!?”

“What he didn’t tell you about the group chat?” Robert interrupted. Chris playfully glared at him before turning his attention back to you. You felt India slip her hand into your other and try to tug you in the other direction but you tugged her back, ignoring her.

“Group chat! Oh my god is Chris Evans in this group message?”

“Duh.”

“Oh my god.” You said quickly, looking at the ground, you face tomato red by now for sure.

“My job is done, it was lovely to meet you Miss (y/n), truly. I hope to see more of you.” He winked swiftly at the both of you, walking away before you could muster up another word to him.

“Oh my god I just met RDJ,” you mumbled to yourself, shaking your head.

“Ok what?” Chris protested, “How come you weren't all clammy, and blushy, and shaky when you met me?”

“Oh-ho wow, don’t try to flip this on me.” India, pulled at your arm again saying she wanted to go. “We are not done talking about this!’ You warned him as you finally allowing India to drag you away, calling the boys to follow you. Chris waved like he just got saved from a horrible confrontation, gladly shoo-ing you all away. This is not over.

~

By six o’clock all three were complaining of their feet hurting. You knew they wouldn’t last till the firework show but you had a small tiny hope that kept a fire inside, hoping to get to see it. You did get to see a parade though. Pictures with Buzz Lightyear, and Mickey mouse. It was a good day, but you were also burnt out with the kids. There is only so much a person can take of the whining that its too hot, or they are thirsty, or someone has to pee every 30 minutes. When you made you way back to the building you left out of, you spotted Chris sitting in the air conditioning, scrolling his phone with Gen sitting next to him. Jealousy flooded through you but you remembered that he had to stand in front of press and do a few interviews, and it calmed you knowing you were fine with having this end of responsibility.

He looked up at you four crowding in, both boys slumping to the ground carelessly while India crawled on his lap and laid her head on his shoulder. Yea, you would be doing the same. It wasn’t long before you were in the car headed away from an awesome day over all.

He broke the news to you that night that they switched most of the European side that was planned and the studios rearranged press to the other side of the globe. South korea, excited you, another stamp on your passport. He promised he would take you to Paris to make up for it because he knew how excited you were to see it again. That just pulled a head shake from you, the words sounding so foreign for someone to speak, at least from what you had grown up with.

Three weeks were filled with unstability. Weird school work hours with the kids, a lot done on a plane. You took so many pictures with them at cool places and sent them all back to your family making them jealous. Jumping from hotel to hotel was making you extremely home sick. You got to know RDJ’s wife well, spending days with her and their kids so you didn’t have to follow Chris around, you explored separate from him, though he would ways come back to you in the night but be gone fairly early the next day. It was tough but you never took a moment for granted while with the kids in such amazing places.

A couple nights consisted of a kid sneaking out of their room in the hotel and sleeping with you both falling between you. After you tucking the kids in you retreated to bed, Chris sometimes with you, sometimes he came in later if he spent time with one of his friends that evening. You always reminded yourself to not mind, it was his work and you were here for him and kids in the first place. It settled your heart most of the time to embrace the city glowing outside the windows.

Not an evening went by where you were not awake or didn’t wake up when he returned, always waiting to hear about his day. You tried to be sly and tease him a bit and sneak in a question about the movie, but it was always shut down so fast, ending in a buzz kill, but that was on you, everytime.

“I’m not telling you anything, if I know something, not saying that I do, because I don’t.” He fumbled over his words while you trapped him, attacking his neck, pulling back on his hair. Hearing his breathing run ragged while you calmly asked him about his day, if he missed you, while you touched him through his clothes, refusing to go further unless he gave up a little information. It was a dangerous game really. Were you abusing your power over him? Absolutely. Was he going to stop you? Absolutely not.

Finally fed up on an evening in Shanghai, he flipped you around so fast pinning you to the bed, daring you to try and steal touches again. A game you wanted to learn all too much. You innocently apologized while he let up and relaxed to your side. You curled over him, telling him that you know you were torturing him and you were sorry. But you just couldn’t help yourself because you always wanted him. He listened and melted under your touch while you told him it was your fault for making him so hard for you. For making him need you and comply with you while you messed him up in ever way you knew you could.

“All you had to do was answer me,” you whispered against his lips, stilling as his eyes shot open and he grabbed a hold of your hips digging his fingers into the soft skin with a dark blue lace covering you. A hand grabbed a fist full of hair and pulled you back so he could see you clearly. The sting sent a wave straight to your heat, clenching around nothing. That was new. You gasped as he stared at you, “Insatiable.”

“How about you let me give you what you need since ‘you always want me’,” you nodded slightly as he urged your hips up.

“Really?” You stilled and questioned him quickly. He nodded and tugged your hips forward as your hands fell to the headboard from his movement. You smirked, masking your curiosity, and crawled you way up his chest. He tugged you the rest of the way, making you gasp as his fingers were sure to leave bruises.

“Oh god,” you whispered as he bit at your inner thigh. You felt his fingers pull the lace to the side and his arms tighten around your thighs, pulling you to his tongue. You gasped, almost trying to sit up on your knees from the onslaught of pleasure but he held you still. Against your wiggling hips he got frustrated and ripped the lace, and it laid limp around your waist. Your hands losing their sense of direction on the headboard and flying from his hands, to his hair, back to the headboard, not able to find a place that will ground you. He licked and suckked at your clit, you jerking in his grasp which only entails a growl and a firmer hold around you, preventing you from moving away. His flicked open and closed, caught between watching you and focusing on your pleasure, enjoying your taste on his tongue.

“Oh god Chris,” you moaned out, tugging on his hair again. “Oh god, I’m gonna cum,” you let out a normally embarrassing whine but were too lost to care.

You breathe caught in your throat when he pulled away, sucking at your skin, “Already love? Were just getting started.” He allowed you the moment to push down on his mouth, your chest heaving trying to keep up. He sealed his grip again and went to town until your face was twisted up in a silent scream, gushing all over him, for sure making a mess. You came down from your high, his tongue pulling large circles around your clit and dipping back down to clean your mess. He laid kisses against your clit having your body flick in his grasp, still sensitive. Though when he didn’t let up, your heart raced, looking down at him with no mercy showing in his eyes.

“Baby, ah, I’m too sensitive,” you jumped again, trying to pull yourself up using the headboard as leverage. “Ooooo, no,” You moaned, raising your voice when he sucked your clit harshly into his mouth making your vision run white. You felt his fingers replace his tongue rubbing slowly.

“You want me to stop? Like you stopped messing with me?” He said biting and leaving a mark on your skin. He pressed his tongue, swiping up your slit, your eyes rolling back, grinding down on him.

“Look at me,” He mumbled against you. Your head was heavy on your shoulders and you creeped your eyes open to him, only for them to shut again as soon as he moved his tongue. “Look at me or I’ll stop and leave you dripping,” you could tell by his tone of voice that he wasn’t lying. You shoved your head forward and watched down at him through hooded eyes. His lips started at work again, tongue wiggling itself into your hole massaging your walls as deep as he could. Your eyes were open in shock staring at the erotic scene, and sounds he was making. You could feel your blood run hot, pulsing through you, where you needed him most.

“I’m- oh I’m gonna come,” you groaned out. His arms tighten around your thighs holding you to him and he worked feverishly on your clit. You watched him take over your senses, pretty sure you stopped breathing all together as you dragged you to your peak, spilling over, clenching over his face, hips rocking in his grasp involuntarily. You let out a gasp of air as you kept coming hard on his mouth, his tongue retreating to soft circles around your over sensitive nub.

You started to feel you muscles loosen from their tense nature, and he helped support you as you slipped down his torso and laid on his side. You legs remained propped around his waist while you tried to come back down to earth, your ears ringing.

“Holy shit,” you mumbled incoherently. Your legs felt numb over him, and you felt his hands shove hair out of your face, his thumb brush across your eyelid. When did you close your eyes? His hand roamed slowly over your own twitching body, his touch bringing your senses back to life slowly.

He watched your face lost in the reminisce of an orgasm, wiping his face with the bed sheet. He watched you with such tense adoration that he was sure you could rip his heart out his chest at the very moment and it would beat for only you. He didn’t care that he had a hard on that was almost painful and that you most likely didn’t have the energy to move at the moment. He didn’t care that you drove him crazy sometimes. He didn’t care that he didn’t get to show you off to the world yet. He cared that you were willingly still in his life and that was enough for him.

You suddenly felt the bed dip and a warm wet cloth wipe across your forehead. You eyes flinched at the contact, where did he get that? You jumped slightly when he ran it across your sensitive core and your thighs, washing away whatever mess you both made.

He laid down next to you and pulled you to his chest, kissing your forehead.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

~

“Are you sure you want me to go?” “I can wait to see it, really.”

“(Y/n) I’m not going to say it again, I swear, just pick a dress.” You were currently in the same house back in LA, staring at a rack of five different dresses, all matching Chris’s suit choices. He wants you to come with him to the premiere tonight, and you have 5 hours before you need to leave and all the sudden he’s like “oh yea, by the way, your coming with me tonight”. Uh, what? The initial panic wore off too fast and now you were just curious. You stood next to India looking over your choices.

“What do you think?” You asked her, starting to favor the white dress and a blush pink dress.

“Papa which are you wearing?” She asked him in retaliation. Smart girl.

“Well, sweetheart I wanted (y/n) to pick, but I’m thinking either the printed jacket with the solid pants or the printed pants with the solid jacket, definitely the navy blue though. What do you think?” You eyed his choices hanging on the rack and the material and patterns.

“Ok, dont hate me,” you started to laugh, “But I like the printed pants and the printed jacket with a solid shirt.” He eyed the two pieces, and slowly started to nod.

“You’re right.” He grabbed the two and dressed in them so we could see the whole look. India nodded in approval, grabbing at the blush pink silk dress for you to wear.

“(Y/n) wear this one.” You pulled the hangar from the rack and felt the material between your fingers. The smooth silk texture was bound to feel amazing and comfortable against your skin. You smiled at her and walked to the bathroom to slip it on, the designer following you in to help you zip it up.

“Wow,” she said behind you looking in the mirror, “Fits you like a glove.” You blushed from the compliment, she wasn’t wrong. You opened the door and stepped out, picking up the bottom as you walked, sighing when you realized you would need to wear heels with it. Not your favorite thing in the world.

“Wow.”

“Wow.” Like father like daughter. You blushed and looked down at the dress from their stare. If you couldn’t control your reaction from their staring, how were you going to around others?

“Do you like it?” You asked them both, gauging their reactions. Chris floating with nothing but adoration from his eyes, raking across the material and how it lays daintily across your skin. You watched his eyes dance around the dress and he walked closer to you resting his hands on your shoulders to admire up close.

“Beautiful,” he kissed your lips softly, your head feeling like it was floating till a ‘eww’ leaked from Indy’s mouth, Chris waving a hand at her, dismissing her. The designers’ assistant leading her upstairs to join the boys where they were watching The Incredibles to keep them away for awhile. Your eyes followed them as they disappeared up the staircase.

You sighed, you shoulders dropping, “I’m kind of nervous.” ‘Kind of’ was an understatement.

“That’s alright, I’ll be with you and if and when I get pulled away, I’ll make sure you are in good hands. Miley and Liam will be there, so will Luke and his wife, you can keep each other company.” The designer interrupted you showing you a jumpsuit for after the carpet, that you could change into for the actual screening and the after party. This was really going to happen. You knew it meant alot to him, you couldn’t say no this time or hold him back, it would be selfish. You nodded and went with the flow, following instructions to go take a shower, hair and makeup would be here within the hour.

You pulled up to the venue, staring out the windows at the hoards of people behind barricades and the hoards of people with cameras and interviewers. “Chris, I really think I’m going to throw up.”

“Hey, It’ll be alright,” he said, turning your head to him, laying a quick, soft, reassuring kiss to your lips. “Just hold on to my hands, I won’t let you trip. You don’t have to talk to anyone, just smile. The photographers will scream at you and tell you to turn this way and that. Just ignore them or do as I do. They might shout and ask who you are, just ignore them. Gen will instruct each interviewer what not to ask before I speak with them. You be with Miley and Liam after the carpet while I do some press.” His hand laid comforting on the side of your neck, keeping your attention, trying to digest everything he was saying. “Everything is under control.” He gave you a small smile, trying to decipher what you were thinking. You nodded in his grasp while he watched you making sure you were sure.

“Okay. I trust you. I love you.”

“And I love you. I’m going to get out and come around to your door, alright? As soon as I open your door, there will be pictures, okay?” You nodded again and took a deep breath, letting him know you were ready.

As soon as he opened the door, there were shouts about who you were and asking you both to look in their direction. You clasped both your hands in front, grabbing Chris’s hand in yours, hoping it would disguise the shaking. You smiled like he said, and followed his lead. Gen met you at the entrance and directed you through crowds and past interviewers to the carpet first so you could get it over with.

He whispered a reassurance in your ear, and you put on your brave face. The same sweet smile that you plastered when you turned the corner in his house for the first time, seeing him standing there in the kitchen, masking your shock. It was the same smile. Beautifully mastered.

Feeling his presence next to you was enough to drown out the shouts and flashes of the cameras and people behind them. You took a few steps with him, shifting down the back drop, hoping that the makeup would cover the blush flooding your cheeks when chris kissed you cheek in front of the cameras and mumbled a, “Your doing amazing,” in your ear. You could see Gen on the end, ushering you down the back drop a few steps. A few more moments and then it would be over. You finally gave in to a person yelling for an over the shoulder shot, and turned you head finding the camera, putting on a bright, shy smile. One could only hope you don’t look stupid right now.

Finally off the carpet, the cameras left your direction and you watched as you finally laid eyes on Liam and Miley starting the carpet. Chris gave you a quick goodbye kissing your cheek, as you watched them walk in front of the cameras, waiting for them at the end. Liam laughing at Miley and walking out of the way so she could have her own shots. She was a natural, glowing and carefree, in front of them all. It seemed like a totally different person from the Miley you grew to know. You watched her as she finally met you both at the end, walking behind and out of view.

“Wow,” you told her as she admired your own dress, “you are so amazing.” A new found sense of pride came over as you watched her retreat back to into a shell that she was in outside of the public eye. They both complemented your dress, you returning it. You both walked towards the entrance, them both saying they did a few interview before hand. You nodded and waited a moment to see if you could find Chris in the sea of people. You found Chris alright, but it wasn’t the one you were looking for.

You surpessed your panic for the hundredth time and turned to Miley sporting a mischievous smile. She followed your gaze and found him, shaking her head at you. Oh your were definitely making him introduce you after the screening. One hundred percent. You were in a slightly confident mood and needed to do it today before the high wears off and you become mortified again.

After you and Miley changed out of your dresses and heels into a bit more of a casual attire, you three went inside and took seats as the cast started to pile into the front of the theatre. You eyed the crowd, finding some of your favorites in the mix, a moment of pride filling your body to see your Chris up there with them all. This is the kind of moment where a person evaluates their life and needs a pinch to prove that it’s real.

Taglist: @keithseabrook27 @odinson-barnes @jonsnowisthesexiestbastard

@weekendswithnewtmas @innerpaperexpertcloud @toomanyflowerboys @thefashioncomplex @basmaraafat @imaginationintowords @taketimeandappreciate @superheroesaremytea

[feel199x]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚apple of my eye ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ Chapter V

gang!au, gang member!han jisung, underground band!au, florist!reader  

I  II  III  IV V VI VII VIII IX X

a/n: this chapter is written a little differently, most of the action will be happening in the upcoming chapters. okay stays im the writer and I Am: Anxious  

masterlist

warnings: alludes to drugs (selling), blood bruise mention, gun mention, and themes of stalking and abuse

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 Minho had always been the head between the two of them. Jisung had always been much too emotional. It wasn’t that he wasn’t smart- Jisung had a showcase of talents, a variety of things that he was incredibly good at. It never used to be a big deal, not before they had started the ‘band.’ The nine of them had always been best friends, growing up the same block in a not so great area of the city? They knew, even as children, that they needed each other. Their chances as a group were far better than their chances as individuals. When they were younger, Jisung always got crushes easily. And it wasn’t the kind of thing was he would get one and then leave when someone else caught his eye. No, he fell in love with the strangest things. At least, what Minho considered strange. Jisung had gotten crushes on the little things that people did. Minho remembered that once, he had ended up confessing to someone in high school because of how they laughed. Because Jisung adored making them laugh. Within this same field, he had always been the more empathetic of the group. One day, while the rest of the boys played tag around the playground, Jisung came crying over. A bird’s mother had dropped the baby bird, and in its weak attempt to fly- it died. And Jisung was crying, sobbing over the fact that there was nothing he could do to save the bird. No one but Chan knew how to comfort Jisung properly, and even then it would take a while.

It had always been endearing, a charismatic character trait until their band. It started sophomore year of high school. Really, it turned out they were all inclined to the arts when they had taken a music and dance class in middle school. But that wasn’t the sort of thing you could be proud of, not around here. Eventually, the school pulled the funding for the class anyway. But their passion hadn’t died, and instead of meeting up to play rough or cause trouble in some public places, they san, dance, rapped. It felt transformative, and when they got their first gig- an underground club agreed to let them perform their music, they were over the moon. It was all the group of boys could talk about, becoming the conversation topic sooner or later.  

Minho had known that the club would’ve been sketchy- every underground club around here only had one to be underground. And even if the rest of the boys pretended not to be aware, he was. Their performance was lively in the beginning, everyone pouring their soul into the performance but even when they realized that there was not-so-discreet deals, the passing of handshakes, angel dust crumbs still lingering on people’s nose. Maybe it was because they had nothing to compare it to at the time, but the crowd was nothing they’ve ever seen before. They were dancing, shouting, screaming the lyrics. Maybe it was wrong, they all knew there was something immoral about this- but they had never felt so accomplished. Misguided as they were, they all had an idea about what they were getting themselves into.

Jisung had mixed feelings, after the performance he was crying again. Both out of happiness, the thrill of singing, rapping, dancing- performing with an audience. But he felt as if he had wronged them somehow. As if he was the one selling them the packets, and soon, too soon, he would be. Jisung was the only one on the fence about doing so, even after the entirety of the group had decided: it was wrong, but necessary. There were worse they could do. Even the youngest had come to that conclusion in a matter of a few weeks. It wasn’t that they tried going it by the traditional way, uploading it online- seeking companies. But if they didn’t reject them altogether, producers would want to cut members of the group out. And it was nine or none. Chan, who was usually composed, would cry after they had gotten rejected- or if someone had said that a group member ‘just didn’t have it.’ It felt as though it was a failure on his part.

Until one day they just had enough.

Jisung had come around eventually. And quickly, very quickly, they had risen in popularity. They were a regular at NOT!, an underground club that had become exclusive when they didn’t have enough room to house all their fans. Stray kids, their self given name, were still giving their all within each and every performance. But behind the scenes, there they were moving and selling packages like there was no way they could be caught. But, this life was missing its flaws. One night, an incident occurred- it had to happen sometime. They were just lucky that no one had died. Shots were fired in NOT!, and although no one had died, it was enough to rupture chaos within the mix of sober and high people.

Jisung had cried that night.

It was only later that they learned that members of N/S had found their way into the club. The boys weren’t stupid, they knew it was risky to sell in their vicinity- but what they weren’t aware of, was how risky. As their popularity with the locals and city folk arose, so did the competition against N/S. And N/S didn’t appreciate it, not one bit. That night, everyone had looked over to Chan and Woojin, hoping they would have some type of answer.

But they didn’t.

The club owner made a suggestion to them, an offer. That night, each boy, regardless of license- left with a gun. They had reached the point of irreversible change. They were in it for the long run now, and there was no backing out. Tensions grew and grew between the two gangs, even though Woojin and Chan refuse to call it that. To them, Stray Kids was a band, and it was just a band. But they had collected fans, ones that could relate to their cause and because of that, they considered the tension between Stray Kids and N/S their fight to win, too. But they refused to stop making music, stop trying to be successful within their own realm. The boys began to leave behind the dealings, reduced the number of packages they moved. But the tension in the city was growing until it smothered everyone. But N/S didn’t care, and one day the unpredictable happened. A black car drove by and ended up hitting Jisung in the side of his thigh. Everyone was livid then, even after Jisung had fully recovered. Now, it was decided, that it was shoot on sight.

 Jisung didn’t cry that night.

 So, when Jisung talked about ____ so dreamily, the group had some major concerns.

“I understand, I know you really like them,” Chan was staring at his laptop, composing a new song as Woojin played some notes for him on the piano, “But it’s risky, you should wait until things die down.” Woojin played a melody and nodded his head. “I agree, this isn’t something you should be considering right now,” Woojin added, “We can still meet them ___, but you’ll have to distance yourself after that.” As if the last part hadn’t quite registered, Jisung immediately became hyper-active again, scrambling notes for lyrics in a notebook, all about ___.

It wasn’t that Minho didn’t like ___, they were a good person. They were kind and mellowed Jisung out. It was good to see a little more emotional ever since the drive-by. But Minho always thought when Jisung didn’t.

“You shouldn’t get ___ involved,” Minho sat Jisung down, “It’s already dangerous for you. You’re always talking about how anxious and careful they are, how much they care about you. You can’t involve them.”

“But I’m not,” Jisung said curtly, “I’m going to be careful.”

“You can’t promise anything, not when you know what we do.”

Minho felt like he was the only one willing to face reality, aware of both the damage and good they were doing. The good and evil they were capable of. He was the only one of the few who had come to terms with his mortality, the others opting to live in a dreamscape.

But nightmares would soon trespass.

The night of the flower shop incident, things had gone to shit real fast. The number of gunshots had increased exponentially, the feds cracking down on everybody. But somehow, never being able to find enough, the truth hidden somewhere in angel dust. The boys had chosen to go off the grid and warned Jisung if he didn’t, then ___ wouldn’t just be missing Jisung, they would be mourning over him. So he chose the lesser of two evils, disappearing in the dead of night.

Minho wasn’t usually one to act outside of the group’s decision, believing that for everyone to be able to get along- cooperation is key. But he thought it was strange, each member experiencing some sort of life-threatening event once leaving the karaoke bar? And ___’s shop getting the worst of it? So, before the boys woke up, Minho made his way to the flower shop.

He hadn’t expected to see you though, and he most definitely didn’t expect to have you caught in the crossfires. And once Minho had told the group what happened, there was no stopping Jisung from returning to the shop.

Very few times had Minho seen Jisung angry, and never, never had he seen Jisung as enraged as he was that night. Jisung was nearly fuming, Minho could imagine steam coming off of him. And as Jisung found the ex, sleeping in your bed, after obviously going through your stuff- being an awful, disgusting creep. Jisung had nearly killed him and would have if the guy wasn’t a good fighter. Jisung dragged him out of your room, and he toppled down the stairs like a bag of bricks. He had finally decided to run off, and Jisung was too angry to be relieved that the guy didn’t have a gun, or any weapon to fight back. This feeling in Jisung was primal, but the adrenaline had to come down sometime, and then, and only then did Jisung feel the pain of each cut and bruise that he had gotten, but not earned.

But he wanted to see you, he wanted to see you more than anyone he had ever wanted to see before. It was all he could think about as he toppled down in the guest room, hearing your cries. Even after he left that morning, he traced his fingers on his lips still thinking about you. He decided that he’d rather be beaten up several more times than ever have to see you in that state again. It became his mission, his life’s goal to take down N/S. It wasn’t easy, and after hearing that you were going to return to your beloved shop. He knew it was in vain, but he had to attempt to stop you- he couldn’t live with himself if he hadn’t at least tried, but that was before this. He would’ve never thought about this, not even in his nightmares could this have been happening.

You were in his arm, caught in a chokehold. Tears streaming down your face, gasping for air. The gun digging into the side of your head as Jisung pulled out his gun, pointing it at him.

“Go ahead,” he was laughing, face bright and happy, “But I’m not leaving without ___. To love and to hold, in sickness and in health. Up in heaven, or down on this hellish earth.”

Jisung didn’t know what to do, tears in his eyes as he shook, arms and beloved biceps trembling. He brought it down, face contorted with anger. And he watched, angry tears pouring out of his eyes as he watched you be taken away

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