#not meant to be a vent; more introspection than anything ahah

[sunnemona]

☆i have lately been feeling pretty anxious with myself about the pace at which i create. it is difficult to feel like i am doing enough when my peers are doing more, difficult to balance my constant need for attention and admiration with how much "content" i can realistically create at any time, difficult not to be upset when my peers who create more often than i do receive more of the attention i crave than i do - it feels like i have missed a train and i am running to catch up with it. i am not burnt out, far from it, but i fear my light is not bright enough to reach others, i fear i am not doing enough to make it bright enough. does that make sense?

☆in case anyone needs to hear this, though i know this is likely a sentiment expressed many times before by people more eloquent than me, it is okay to not create all the time. it is okay to only create when you feel like it, to be unable to create on a schedule or to meet a self imposed deadline, to be unavailable to create because of obstacles like school or work or home management or disability, to be in a mental valley and be too tired or hurt or in pain to create. it is okay. you are not worth any less because of it. the world is not moving on without you, you will not become irrelevant because you have not posted in a week or cannot find it in yourself to draw something every day. creation is meant to bring joy, not stress, this is not a job, you are allowed to work at your own pace. there are no consequences to suffer for it. no matter what there will always be someone out there who will enjoy it, wholeheartedly. no matter how long it takes for you to create something or if you think you've been forgotten. you are allowed to want your creations to be loved by another. and they will be. rest if you need it