#not me only posting on character birthdays whoops

[laarems]

Happy birthday lwj!!

[yuri-is-online]

Thinking about the future kid au and Jamil!Yutu (help his tsum is so cute, i love the tsum events)

Like...you said Jamil! Yutu wishes he wasn't born so his dad wouldn't have been executed because some Asim relatives guilted him (desoite them being the ACTUAL reason he died)

Needless to say his relationship with his dad is complicated , but I can't stop thinking about Yutu being of two minds about his parents like "I'm gonna get in the way of your plans for the evening because I don't want either of you to get close and eventually die because of me" but also somehow everything he attempts doesn't work

Because Jamil isn't one to give up easily (none of the boys are) and he just- feels so much freer and happier than he ever has when he gets to trade snarky comments, silly puns and honest praise with Yuu. And he won't let this mysterious guy get ik the way of that, he pretends to enjoy his remaining years at NRC to the best of his ability thank you very much. Plus he's working on gaining his freedom and Yuu is his number one cheerleader at this don't tell Kalim tho he'll be sure to cranck up his enthusiasm if you do ofc he won't stop talking to them nor dreaming of what could be, it's all he has to avoid going mad

Yutu however is losing his mind because every time there's danger he gets reminded of his dad's corpse being dragged around and he keeps worrying this time his dad will die trying to protect Yuu from harm

Little does he know Jamil would rather give his life protecting Yuu than any Asim because that's his CHOICE and that's the person who chose HIM over everyone else. Cue Yutu recovering from the battle, looking around frantically for signs of either of his parents and seeing Yuu patching Jamil up, bantering lightly and sharing such soft looks. They look so happy despite their bruises and suddenly Yutu gets this nauseating feeling of dread because he can see why they fell in love, which means maybe he's too late to stop it now

And then Grim complains that he's hungry after the fight and they both share this look and Yutu gets the little sadness of "oh, this is what it would've been like"

Just- aaaaaaahhhhhhh this au is so good and so angsty but also I wanna add just a little bit of fluff for these poor boys (my original thought was of Yutu seeing his parents meeting in the town and following them to try to sabotage their not-date only to end up making each scenario more romantic until he gives up when they start dancing in the middle of nowhere and he recognizes the dance from when Yuu taught him many years ago)

Happy Birthday Jamil (so sorry this is late), the tsum part of this post really shows you how old it is I am so sorry. Jamil is a real cutie though, his birthday message this year is him thanking Yuu for being someone he can trust to give him something without having ulterior motives. Post OB! Jamil should have a special sort of respect for Yuu I think. He understands what it is like to have to care for someone who makes a lot of problems against your will, but maybe not that you could love that person in the way Yuu loves Grim. Lots to think about with JamilYuu, lots to think about... so this one gets to have two parts as well whoops.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, CW lots of self hatred and thoughts of death, body horror, major character death, bullying, and brief mention of suicide. This post features some o.c.s created by @archetypal-archivist for this ayuu. More information about the ayuu can be found here, here, and here. Masterlist can be found here

The early morning is a sacred time for your little family.  When Yutu was little you would sneak into his room to make sure he was still asleep.  He never was, he'd developed some sort of sixth sense for when his favorite person was home and would wait patiently snuggled into the red scarf he used as a security blanket to surprise you.

“Boo!”  The scarf would go up in the air and you would let out an exaggerated gasp of surprise as your son giggled in manic delight.  “I got you!”

“You got me!”  He'd been little enough to lift up into the air then, you miss those days even though they were difficult.  

Your son still “spooks” you when you come home in the morning.  His former blanket has become a part of his wardrobe, and he's much too big for you to lift up over your head anymore but he's not pretending to be asleep anymore either.  

“Boo!”  Today Yutu has made some tomatoes and eggs, you think you smell coffee but that's not a smart thing for you to be drinking right now.  

“Thank you, little light.”  You settle down at your kitchen table and Yutu excitedly tells you about his plans for the day.  When he does this you always feel lucky, as if you didn't expect him to be such a normal and happy child.  As if there was something other than poverty and your illness that would hold him down and deny him any sense of self or success.  Yutu has never felt like there is anything he cannot do so long as he tries, he's very ambitious, your little light.  You've told him more than once you hope his spark never dims, that you are so proud of him for not letting his circumstances dictate his goals.

There's some relief in knowing you aren't here to see him hiding behind his scarf again.  It would hurt you to see how fast he shrinks away from the lich descending from his throne, putrid rotting flesh assaulting his nose even through the silk guard.  This is his fault, he can find no other logical explanation.  You would disagree, he has no idea what the corpse in front of him would say, but neither of you lived to see what he has.  He's not so full of himself that he thinks the world ended with his birth, but yours most certainly did.  

Yutu is a smart and polite child, the sort of little boy who makes old ladies swoon and insist that his parents are so lucky to have him.  That was a point of pride for him before arriving in Twisted Wonderland.  He never had too many questions about his father, he could see he wasn't the only one of his peers who was being raised by a single parent which was enough reassurance for him.  Maybe he'd meet his father one day, maybe he wouldn't.  He was much more concerned with making friends and learning everything he could.

He loves school in general, but his favorite subject is the stars.  It starts with him trying to amuse himself while waiting for you to come home from work and evolves into a hobby as he gets older.  His first proper expensive present is a refurbished telescope you spent a lot of time researching and asking questions about.  That's the first chip at his self confidence when he's alone in Twisted Wonderland; you worked so hard for that gift and he didn't bring it with him.  Sure, he didn't know what was happening but he knew something was off.  He should have grabbed it and kept it close…

Star gazing isn't his only hobby, he really likes cooking and experimenting with coffee.  He took up cooking because he was tired of waiting for you to come home and make food and expected it to be boring but there's something fulfilling about eating food you've made yourself he really likes.  The fact it makes him more attractive to his classmates is not something he thinks about at all, not one little bit.  You've never found him making extra food for a particular “friend” with a familiar determined smirk on his face.  “Your father used to do the same thing.”  You say it absentmindedly, the look of embarrassment you're met with is also quite similar.  “Not.  Another.  Word.”  

Money is tight, but Yutu still finds ways to participate in extracurricular activities.  He wants them on his college applications, sure, but he also wants friends, his own little group of people who won't care too much about his parent's reputation. Cooking club and drama class end up being his home base, you've got an unwilling front row seat to so much pointless highschool drama it gives you a headache.  He likes playing pickup basketball with his friends but joining the team isn't something he got a chance to do before getting isekaid.

The little bits and pieces you remember about his father make him out to be extremely normal. You remember his favorite food, that he liked cooking and playing basketball. You tell your son he takes after his father in how talented he is; Yutu is proud to be like his father, he assumes that he will get the full story from you someday. Maybe his dad died, maybe you never told him that he was going to be a father out of fear and never got a chance because you lost your memories in a tragic accident. Either way, Yutu is sure that one day he will find out who his father is and he'll be able to help you reconcile your relationship, whether it's by processing his death or reconnecting your friendship.

There's nothing particularly special about the day you remember.  He felt like trying something new with his hair and you had offered to turn his scarf into a turban, memories of fireworks sparking your hands into motion while Yutu tells you about what his teacher wants the school play to be this year.

“Careful!”  Yutu whines as you pull his hair through the cloth.  

“I am being very careful.” You laugh, the look on Yutu's face is familiar. Just like... “Jamil bought this for me, you know.”

“Jamil?” Yutu has never heard that name before, but he can tell it's important. He's never heard you sound so tender before.

“I think we were joking about push presents and he was offended thinking he had to wait until you were born to get me something nice.”  There was meant to be a matching piece of jewelry with Yutu's birthstone he thought you didn't know about, but then…  how could you have forgotten that?  You were going to make fun of him for how sloppy Yutu's birth was making him.  He was losing his touch, the old Jamil never would have been so obvious with a surprise.

“Is that such a bad thing?  You're giving me a gift.” Jamil is looking up at you confused, but it's not Jamil, it's your son. Your little light who- "You look so much like him." Your hand shakes, the world around you fades to black and Yutu begins to scramble.

~~~~

When Yutu opens his eyes he's in a dark room in front of a mirror with a mask hovering in a sea of green flame, there is noise buzzing around him that must be conversation, but try as he might he can't reign himself back into focus. You are still, eyes glassy and unresponsive to his calls. There is a man shaking him, trying to pull him to his feet as he calls for... the word he uses is healer and that allows Yutu to settle himself. "... a healer and take Yuu to the hospital wing immediately!" The Headmage snaps and a woman with brown hair immediately bolts to obey. The person next to her reaches out, but does not follow; the boy's presence is throwing cold water over a particular part of the crowd they would be wise to keep watch over. That isn't the right word so Yutu must be dreaming, he gives the man in the fur coat his attention and obeys, stepping forward to allow the mirror to judge his soul.

"Scarabia." If Yutu was not so convinced he was dreaming he would notice the way the person who approaches him looks, the meaning behind the fur coat's insistence he stay put and wait for him in the mirror chamber. But he does not. So when that person extends their hand, welcomes him to Scarabia and asks him to follow he thinks nothing of it. This is all a bad dream, you will shake him awake and tell him more about Jamil.

Not that he really needs to wait.

The first hit is a slap, the second is a basic fire spell but he doesn't know that when it sears his skin. He doesn't even know why these students are so angry, doesn't recognize his own last name he just thinks the word Viper is being used as an insult. When smoke begins to surround him he assumes the other students have decided to stop toying with him. He's going to die. He just found out his father's name, magic is real, other worlds are real, you are dead. You are dead and there's a foul smelling smoke around him; he's never really thought about what it would be like to die but Yutu finds himself surprisingly calm. "We'll be together soon, [parent]... father are you waiting too?"

"I would hate to waste a necklace on the likes of you." An authoritative voice cuts through the smoke, Yutu recognizes this person as his attackers scatter. The strange one who tried to stop the woman who ran off after the man in the fur coat spoke. They are wearing a lot of jewelry, necklaces and bracelets with strange symbols that seem to thrum with power in a way that sends a shiver down his spine. A rueful smile crosses their lips for a brief second. "Not that it would be a waste of course." Their focus turns to the cause of the smoke, a kerchief they give one more good shake before tucking it back into a pouch with even more strange necklaces wrapped around it.

"Where am I?" Yutu sounds so small, he curses himself silently for it but how else is he supposed to feel when the mysterious stranger looks at him with so much pity?

"Exactly where you belong." They say with authority, as if they are attempting to shut out any doubts before they can form. "But, as much as it shames me to suggest it, that might not be the safest place for you right now."

Misbah is how this person introduces themselves. Their friend, who is beyond stressed to see Yutu so disheveled and insists on healing him before allowing him to see you, is named Sehrish. Explanations can wait until Yutu has had time to say his goodbyes, but the look the older students exchange when you ask them to make sure your son isn't treated like Jamil once was tells him there must be a lot of them. Of the three adults, no one agrees how to give him those explanations either. The only thing they do agree on is that it is unsafe for him to be in Scarabia right now, but there won't be a problem with Ramshackle Dorm even if it's name suggests to Yutu that there really probably should be.

Crewel takes him there, explaining along the way who he is and what he was to you; a professor turned reluctant mentor who cared very deeply about Yuu and Jamil's future. He's reluctant to think of himself as a grandfather, he's just not that old he insists and Yutu laughs just the little bit, but if Yutu has questions about Yuu and your time at the school he is more than welcome to ask. On his father he doesn't say much, simply that he is dead. Murdered actually, but the use of that word is complicated by the circumstances of it so Crewel does not suggest Yutu speak of his family to anyone other than Misbah and Sehrish. Yutu learns, later much later, that Crewel didn't wish to traumatize him further. That he wished to take his time in explaining things. A good idea, but no one that realistically was going to work.

Ramshackle Dorm is unlike the other dormitories at NRC, all the students save him are magicless exactly like his parent. They all know a lot about his parent too, much to his surprise you are something of an idol to these people. None of them mind that he can use magic, it's just neat to be able to talk about the magicless prefect with someone who also thinks they're super cool; some of them have family or family friends that went to NRC while you were here and saw how you handled the overblots, others learned of you when they came here as refugees and were offered a place in the program. "Ramshackle is for misfits and outcasts!" A particularly messy third year proudly tells him when he asks him why they don't mind. Yutu doesn't really know how to feel about that. He never manages to figure it out.

Sehrish is a graduate student and Misbah is a fourth year, which as Misbah explains to him means they spend most of their time "in the field." They wished to say everything from the start, Sehrish wanted to explain herself and her family but did not think herself qualified to say anything more. Was uncertain of how her story would make him feel, afraid of it. The Scalding Sands is their primary focus, that would have been his homeland too had Yuu not been disappeared. Currently it is under the rule of a phantom of the Sorcerer of the Sands, one of the Great Seven Yutu will learn about as his classes progress. Misbah does not hesitate to tell him that this phantom once possessed his father when he was a student, and it is believed that this time it is possessing his corpse. It's a thought that sickens Yutu, how could this have happened? And why?

The why is explained to him in parts. Sehrish starts with the history of the Al-Asims, of the city they helped to build and the relationship between her family and his. She describes his father's burning resentment of his station matter-of-factly. His father was a servant from a well liked and respected family, but that reputation came at a cost. The respect was not for him or his talents, it was for how well he served his master and it drove him mad. The desire for freedom and recognition transformed into a phantom, his parent had fought against it and seen it defeated but somehow it had returned to rule over the Scalding Sands.

Overblotting is something Yutu thinks he has begun to understand, his professors have focused on it heavily so he knows what a phantom is. He's even seen a few small ones, but a phantom large enough to rule over a kingdom resembling one of the Great Seven is... frightening. The other students are all more or less aware of their existence and Sehrish takes the rest of her time to explain where and who the other Phantoms used to be. "We don't know why this happened." But people have theories. There is a timeline he learns from other students whispering behind his back, how his parent disappeared and then suddenly Kalim Al-Asim was murdered.

The living Al-Asims aren't at NRC, there is a rival school across the Island where they chose to stay. They don't speak to Sehrish, the only people he can speak to with any level of authority are the one or two older servants who worked with his grandparents. They speak fondly of the Viper family, though of Jamil they offer little specifics. Murder is again the word used for what happened to him, quietly after looking over their shoulder. Yutu had an Aunt named Najma. She was lively, talked about Jamil's business and constantly made fun of him while being proud of his accomplishments. The Vipers were an honorable family. They didn't want trouble. Did not want to rock the boat. But his father must have otherwise he wouldn't have wanted to overblot...

Yutu wasn't quiet before Twisted Wonderland. He thought of himself as outgoing, you would be so sad to see how small his friend circle has gotten. As time passes, as he fights smaller phantoms, ventures into the Queendom on his first real mission, as he looks in the mirror and realizes he has scars now. His scarf has protective sygils embroidered by Misbah to repair the holes, he's met a merman with pointed teeth who mixed him a drink and told him a story about his father that made him sound... human in a way that scared him out of asking for more.

Yutu has seen what his father became, looked a rotting corpse into what remained of it's eyes and listened to it try to speak with a windpipe welded together by ink. The lich sorcerer of the sands is his father. Yutu has spent enough time listening to his Ramshackle dormmates explain their medical studies to see he died young; there are traces of poisons in the hairs he returns to Idia that make even him shudder. He will never get the full story, never get more from his classmates or the Al Asim representative he meets when returning Kalim's body about how this happened. Just that it was deserved, that none of this would have happened if Jamil had known his place and never obtained his freedom. That isn't something Yutu can bring himself to agree with. His father had every right to want the same say in his life that you had worked so hard to give him, and you...

If you asked Yutu when he started feeling like he did not deserve to exist, he wouldn't be able to give you a specific answer. He certainly never felt like he didn't belong in your world, the general sense of disbelonging he felt he always attributed to his ignorance of his father's identity. But that was a fixable problem, he so firmly believed he would one day get to meet his dad and other family and then all those burning cultural questions would be patched up. But Twisted Wonderland was another matter entirely, the harsh welcome made him feel unwanted even if the Ramshackle students went out of their way to try and mitigate that. But all of that acceptance, all of that love was tied to you. The living Al Asims looked at him and saw a pest, expected him to show deference and repent for his father's misdeeds, while the older servants saw a tragedy. A child so fondly spoken of and wished for but doomed to wander in a broken world none of them expected to survive. Either way, the only message Twisted Wonderland had to offer him was one of rejection. Whenever he made up his mind, by the time he made it to the past and was settled into your version of Ramshackle Dorm he was determined to keep you from making the mistake of staying with his father.

Part 2

[lowkeyrobin]

Hiiii! i love ur writing and was wondering if u could do Tommy, Quackity, Niki, Charlie, and Philza with an s/o (close friend for Phil) who is in a riot grrrl band???

stuff like this:

HAVE A NICE DAY/MORNING/NIGHT:]]]

oooo okay!! I can definitely try! I don't listen to many riot bands so excuse any weird stuff that doesn't totally make sense ; have a nice day/night to you too 🫶🫶🫶 ; made sure to make this as gn as possible for everyone so I apologize if it goes against the more feminine aspect of the genre/kinda ruins it 🙏

MCYT ; riot band

includes ; tommyinnit, quackity, nihachu, slimecicle, & philza

warnings ; language

y/b/n = your band name

y/f/n = your fandom name

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he loves your music

you're the heaviest band he listens to 🙏🙏 he does try and get into the genre more because he does actually enjoy your music

you're the lead singer for your band, so every time he hears your vocals, he gets all smiley, even in public, which he tries to hide

will make sure to attend every single one of your gigs and record the whole thing LMAO

if he's like the perfect distance away from the stage, you'll sneakily look at him to help your nerves and make it feel like he's the only one in the room

he helps you write lyrics as well/get inspo for new songs

"and it goes in a rythym like ba-dada-bum-ba-dada-bum, yknow?"

extra points if your band sounds a lot like Hole or Veruca Salt, bc he'd definitely have some of their songs on a playlist

casually your biggest fan, always reposting gig dates and playing your music on stream

leaving comments under picture posts on the band insta like "come back to brighton for my birthday please, I beg" and "its to early to be served perfection, wait a few hours :("

he doesn't always make sense but he's loving and absolutely loves your music dw

NIKI NIHACHU

she is the number one fan

she got your bands top listener and has over 15k minutes of listening time by the end of the year

you're lead guitar, so she's always interested in watching you play and how you move your hands and fingers to create such a cool sound

extra bonus points if your band uses that kind of echoey down to your soul feel, kinda like suicideboys or lil peep (best examples I got bc I'm not into this genre very much lmao)

always bringing you up in conversation as well

if anyone's looking for bands to listen to, you're a million percent the first she suggests

you show her new chords you wanna use or expand on and she just watches and listens so intently

always playing your music on chill streams and recommending her viewers to listen to your band, and always points out that its you playing lead guitar

"personally, I think you should be winning a Grammy this year"

"ehhh... MTV awards are better"

"I'm gonna go get you nominated for the MTV awards then, I'll be back"

"I don't think that's how it works!-"

ALEX QUACKITY

he mostly listens to stuff like victoria monet, the weeknd, childish gambino, sza, etc

but being dragged into the rabbit hole of riot bands expanded his music taste a lotttt

you're the lead singer of course (main character hours)

yk the clip of him on the qsmp and metro boomin randomly starts playing? that happens but with your band!

"whoops- I-I have no idea why the hell that started playing, sorry! the last thing I was listening to wasn't even y/b/n, the fuck?"

he gets all his close friends hooked on your music as well

bonus points if you get a more grunge kinda feel in there like foo fighters or nirvana

always posting pics of you from gigs or reposting pics of you/your band

and always leaving comments like "vocal lessons when?" and "gig near you ✅️ gig near me ❌️"

always roasting your music as a joke as well

"the blueprint 3, one album, solos y/b/n. sorry y/n"

"must I bring up-"

"nope!"

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE

he looks like the type of guy to secretly have a 200 song long playlist of punk music idk

you're the bassist, and he loves making you play shit on stream for him lmao

also loves reposting anything relating to you and your band, fanart, random rants about your music, gig dates, new music release dates, photos, etc

don't get him started on the edits

he'll randomly blurt out random noises and rythyms and boom, writers block gone, new song? made.

serious bonus points if you sound the slightest bit like joey valance & brae

you show him how to play bass a bit as well

always recording every gig, he's so proud of you, plus the lights make you look so good

always talking about you as well

"my partner is a bassist in a band, I think they solo all of you losers"

"Charlie what?? when were we talking about significant others?"

"since I said so, bitch!"

cue video game car crash

he has a little thing in the bottom of the stream screen with the album cover w a spinning record next to it, and on top is the song & band name. 80% of the time it's just your band

^he uses that during his stream starting soon segments, bathroom/snack breaks, or chill streams on the qsmp

PHILZA

he and kristen both love your music

he sees you like his kid so he's going the extra mile to support you all the time

from streaming your music in the car to reposting and posting about gig dates, new music and merch drops, etc etc

you even have your own little section in his Discord titled 'y/b/n chat' (and another for announcements about your band/notifs OK social media titled 'y/b/n announcements')

when spotify wrapped comes around, your his third most listened to artist, and kristen's second LMAO

"aweee thank you father, I appreciate your loyalty to y/f/n and the band 🫶"

always bringing up your music as well, especially when streaming with friends

"Tommy, did you listen to y/b/n's new song yet? I think you'd like it"

"wait wait hold on lemme pull it up"

he goes to a few of your gigs with kristen and he's just chilling in the back like a proud parent

you always find him and smile because he's there cheering you on

he's more of a dad than your actual dad bro

[bp-zb1fics]

A little crazy

pairing: overprotective bf shanbin x s/o reader

genre: university au on unhingedness (same verse as perils, and no, it's not lasik), fluff

tw/tags: established relationship, some stereotypical characters, hanbin has a few quirks, character study lowkey, unwanted flirting, unintentional flirting, pet names, intimidation, he's sweet but a psycho, drinking, getting a lil tipsy, lowkey stalker vibes but not really, for plot purposes we will find it cute, threatening, idk how to tag this pls tell me if i missed something

wc: 2078

summary: your boyfriend is legitimately the sweetest person ever…except when someone tries to make moves on you. Then he gets…well…

a/n my advanced birthday fic for hanbin! Bc idk why I thought it was today I must have hallucinated but also idk if I have time to post on the actual day bc of real life commitments lmao whoops I struggle and try my best. Shout out to Kara aka @boysplanetmorelike for sparking this lil idea~

Check my pinned for more fics~

It’s not like he was perfect, even if people liked to think he was. Well, yes he is very boyfriend. That’s why he’s your boyfriend.

You, of all people, can attest to the fact he isn’t perfect. You’ve seen his hair in the morning. He’s definitely not at his prettiest. Sometimes he becomes a little control freak. You know that. You’re the one who they call to get him before he makes one of the poor freshmen cry unintentionally and then ends up feeling guilty about it and apologising profusely for the rest of the day, your poor soft-hearted man. And some might argue that yes he has his little ticks but they’re only minor character flaws if they can be considered flaws at all.

If only they knew.

Those who have had the pleasure of getting to know Sung Hanbin on a more, well, personal level are probably the only ones who will ever know. Poor souls, really.

And perhaps it isn’t as effective to explain as it is to show what exactly one of his more problematic personality issues is. Let’s take one unsuspecting, innocent afternoon.

Perspective. You’ve just finished class. It’s a pleasant day. You decide to meet at one of the benches under the trees outside your building. His class finishes a bit after yours so you wait, scrolling through your phone, peaceful, unbothered.

Enter unfortunate victim. For the purpose of this exercise, he shall remain unnamed. We’ll call him Victim #444. Or well, that guy.

He’s your typical fuckboy. Good looking in a sort of lukewarm way, hugely overconfident, probably thinks he has a bigger dick than he actually does, a horrible flirt, we’ve all met that type.

You share a class together. That’s how he makes conversation. Otherwise, he might not dare to approach at that time. Your talk goes something like this.

“Hey, you’re in Choi-seongsaengnim’s class too right?”

“Yeah?” You look up from your phone and he’s just there. He takes a seat on the same bench without asking. Well, it’s public property but he’s a little closer than you would like.

“He’s such a hardass, don’t you think? Like sure, he knows the lesson but he doesn’t need to act like this is the only class we’re taking.”

“Well, I mean-”

“-Like seongsaengnim, come on, I have a life outside of trying to figure out what the fuck your lessons mean.” You can add self-absorbed and stupid to this one’s list of notable traits.

“I think-” And definitely not letting you get a word in.

“Speaking of, have you got a partner for the latest project? Because, you know, I’ve been asked but I’m happy to make an exception if you want to pair up.”

“Actually, I already have-”

“Let me give you my number so we can contact each other? Maybe meet up, you know? I’ve got a nice little place to myself on the other side of campus.”

Ugh, as if. He’s leaning in so close that you can smell his cheap cologne. Before you can get up from the bench, arms wrap around you from the back and a very familiar voice coos in your ear.

“Ahh nae sarang, sorry I’m late.”

You turn your head, leaning into him.

“Hi Binnie-yah.”

He beams at you before directing his stare at the other guy. And so it begins.

“Oh, who’s this?”

You’re pretty sure Hanbin knew who this was. He knew who everyone was and at least one notable thing about them because he was quirky like that. Well, he wasn’t known as the university’s social butterfly for nothing. And you don’t want to spoil his fun so you let the guy introduce himself.

“Ah, you’re taking that major, yeah? So Junho-yah is your senior, how is he these days?”

“Oh, ah yes, Junho-sunbaenim’s been doing well, I don’t really see him around much actually.”

And bingo. The guy starts squirming. Faster than it usually takes. Your boyfriend’s made himself comfortable even though he’s half-hunched over and resting his chin on your shoulder, looking at the other guy with an unwavering stare. Sort of the way a spider would probably look at a fly before, well, you know.

“Really, well last I heard from him, he was complaining about how disrespectful his underclassmen are…but you’re not like that, aren’t you?”

“Ah, no, of course not sunbaenim.”

You can feel Hanbin’s smile get wider, his eyes crinkling in a way that you find adorable but you suspect might not be as cute for your unfortunate companion.

“That’s good, keep up the good work. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if any of my underclassmen were being disrespectful. Ah well, actually I can….”

He pauses and you swear that the guy stops breathing.

“...and I can definitely say that they’ll be very sorry that they even tried that with me.” Hanbin continues cheerily.

Suddenly he walks over and starts patting him on the shoulder. The guy flinches back.

“So next time, remember to be on your best behaviour and keep being polite, hmm? Don’t be so obvious? Maybe try not to be so shameless, yeah?”

“Ah, yes, of course, sunbaenim. Actually I- I just remembered I- I have to go- ah- sorry to disturb um- excuse me-”

You watch as he does a roughly 90 degree bow to both of you before walking off quickly.

“Less than 5 minutes, Binnie, that’s a new record.”

And your cute boyfriend is back, pouting and grabbing at your hands and squeezing them softly. If you were anyone else, you would have gotten whiplash.

“It’s not my fault if I want you all to myself, hmmm?”

Did you mention that your boyfriend was a little off in the head? Not in the should-be-confined-to-the-mental-hospital way but that slight sort of insanity that possesses him when someone tries to go for his little brother (rip Gunwook) or his little sister or his close friends or well, you.

And everyone else? Everyone else was not safe. If murder was legal, literally everyone else would probably be fearing for their lives. Which is probably a good thing that murder isn’t legal. Those incredibly lucky bastards.

Take one of the freshmen trying to chat you up during a party. They’ve been incredibly nice all evening, pouring you drinks and asking you all sorts of thoughtful questions about the major. So yes, you’re very happy to answer and give them little tips on how to ace a certain project.

“And it’s honestly fine if you mess up a little on your first test for Hwang-seongsaengnim’s class, he’s very nice when it comes to students forgetting a few names so don’t stress too much about it and make sure to ace the extra credit he gives.”

“Oh, thank you so much sunbaenim. That’s so helpful, I’ll definitely try my best.”

You can’t help but smile. So cute. Maybe it was the alcohol but you remember how it was like being a wide-eyed, overeager freshman listening attentively to your own seniors.

“It’s really no problem. Ask me anything, anytime. Seriously, don’t be afraid if you need advice.”

You reach over to pat them, swaying just a little from the amount of soju running through your body. They’re awfully red as well. You wonder why.

“How are you getting home, sunbaenim? Do you live nearby? I can walk with you if you’re comfortable with that, I don’t think it’s too safe to be out at this time.”

“Oh it’s no worries, I’ll be taking them home.”

“Ah Hanbinnie, meet my new dongsaeng” you’re not too sure when he got here or even why he’s here but Hanbin’s incredibly warm and his hands around your waist feel so nice. 

“This is my boyfriend.” You introduce him to the freshman. He dips his head in greeting as the other nearly tips over trying to bow. You make a concerned noise, making to catch the other but Hanbin firmly keeps you from moving, letting the freshman catch themselves instead.

“So nice to meet you, we’ll get going if that’s alright. It’s really not safe to be out this late, especially with someone you barely know.” You hardly register your boyfriend’s words but you’re not that drunk that you don’t know the smile he’s giving is about 95% fake and razor-sharp.

“Ah yes, get home safely, sunbaenim. I’ll find my way back so don’t worry.”

“Oh we won’t” You think you hear Hanbin say. Maybe. Could be your imagination. Because the next moment he’s nuzzling at your neck like a very spoiled cat, arms firmly holding you up as he guides you out of the bar and into the car.

“Nae sarang, you really need to take better care of yourself or I won’t want to let you out of my sight.” He says to you softly as he practically carries you into the passenger seat. It’s sweet, well the implication behind it is kinda creepy but you know he doesn’t mean it that way. (Does he?)

“You drove here?”

“Of course, I can’t let you go home all by yourself, can I?”

Like you said, there’s just a tiny screw loose in that head of his, considering the bar where you’re drinking is over an hour away from campus. You chalk it up to it being Hanbin. He can get a little paranoid on occasion. 

And sometimes, he goes a bit psycho. A little. Not a lot. Still, according to Gunwook, it’s terrifying. You really wouldn’t know but you’ve seen it.

You’ve come to wait for his dance club to finish when someone collides into you. It’s not too hard but it still knocks you off your feet and onto the ground with a thud.

“Yah, watch where you’re going, huh? I have a performance next week and I could have injured myself.”

It’s definitely one of the newer members because you don’t recognise them. Before you can say anything, Seo Won, one of the veterans, is already helping you up and asking if you’re okay. The one that knocked you over huffs and is about to say something else when Hanbin calls their name sharply.

Your boyfriend’s eyes narrow and maybe you’re a little lightheaded from the fall but also from the way his shirt clings to his body and his hair weighed down by sweat. It’s kinda hot but you’re not admitting that out loud. Not now, at least. He calls the other member’s name again and gestures him over.

He speaks too quietly for you to hear anything. All you know is that the other’s face pales drastically and he bows several times, walking over and apologising to you before practically hightailing out of the room.

Hanbin’s all over you in a matter of seconds, practically lifting you off the ground. It’s not good for your heart. Seo Won quickly backs off.

“My poor sarang, are you okay? Do you need anything? Ice? Are you bruised anywhere? Let me check.”

You don’t ever see the person who knocked you over again. Ever. You’d wonder about it but you’ve learned that it was better not to question sometimes. Especially when Hanbin insists on carrying you around for the rest of the day and practically waits on you hand and foot until the bruises fade. And it’s just a bruise. You do admit to him later that maybe you find it attractive when he’s a shade pissed and sweaty. Maybe you both get a little sweaty after that. And later, when you’re rightfully tired and sprawled out on top of him, you think about it.

Really, you wonder what goes through his mind sometimes.

[cut scene]

Hanbin smiles, all teeth and no sympathy. It’s like the serial killer before the murder.

“You speak to anyone like that ever again and I can do injuring for you, understood? No, don’t talk, just nod if you’ve managed to get it into that head of yours, hmm?”

A nod. Hanbin likes it when they’re like this. Quiet and white-faced and sweating nervously.

“Now go apologise to them. Sincerely. Like you mean it. And then, get lost. I don’t want to see your face for awhile, yes?”

Another nod. They take one step back and make to turn around.

“Oh wait.”

They freeze.

“Remember. Sincerely, okay? And don’t think I won’t know if it isn’t.”

A final nod.

“Very good. Now go.”

They go. Hanbin sighs. God, you’re going to drive him insane one day. (He already is)

[postmail]

hey guys i love you. its my birthday in three days have some queeshmael (and other assorted stand-alone ishmaels and queequegs) moby dick fanarts that ive drawn over the course of like... several months that i never posted because i thought they looked like shit. and tbh i still do. but also theres beauty in everything and also also i need to lead by example of fearlessness in posting shitty ass fanart just for funsises. just because it makes me happy. some of these are outdated but idgaf. enjoy inconsistent character designs lol

its under the cut cause uh wow thats actually a lot more than i expected? whoops?

okay funny story i actually lied up there a little bit i drew this several months ago and was so madly in love with how it turned out that i never posted it because i didnt want the inevitable lack of attention to sour it for me. its a little outdated now but i still love it, i just want to put here so i never lose it. ishmael please go to therapy

newer art yet somehow even more outdated designs? i think i was trying to be a bit more experimental and didnt like how they came out. i still dont like the designs very much but looking back now i dont think the art itself is actually that bad.

never posted because i just couldnt get the anatomy quite right. i actually kind of miss when i colored grays like this idk how i forgot that actually wait i should start doing that again-

this one was for mermay, just pure silliness and cringe for the soul. more of that awesome gray shading line stuff that i need to start doing again, but i didnt like how queequeg's face looked. and also i think i felt a bit silly about this? like i thought it was too cringe or something? idk why tho its kinda cute to me now. best of wishes to ishmael in his goal to fuck that fish man

more inconsistent queequeg designs! i really liked this one when i first drew it, but i thought it was too small to post on its own, being just a itsy little doodle for shading practice. now i can post it :). wonder who it is thats talking to him?

another little drawing! this one i never posted because 1) i fucked up when drawing it and accidentally drew it way too small and 2) i accidentally made it waayy too similar to another moby dick fanart by another more popular user and i didnt want other ppl accusing me of copying or smthin... i jusr didnt think this piece was particularly worth the risk of that. i think its fine now tho.

incredibly shitty doodle i really only made for myself ft. incredibly innacurate drawing of a sperm whale. ngl i still think the joke is funny tho.

shhh dont tell the cringe police about this one but this is a queeshmael fankid i made. her name is rachael and she cannot make normal facial expressions to save her life. she loves listening to her dad infodump its interesting to her. she knows so many incorrect facts about whales! whoopie!

this might have been a valentines special? idk. i was gonna redraw it but then i forgor. let this be a lesson to you: finish your drawings, or else you'll only have the older version to show to people (its okay i still like this a little bit)

oh shit i ran out ok bye guys hope you liked your gay whalers peace and love on planet earth

[dianneking]

Happy Birthday, Blondie - Larissa/Melissa

Hello hello! For the first week of Back on The Writing Horse (you can find the original post and masterlist here) I am using prompt 2553 by @promptsforthestrugglingauthor

"Are you going to just spend the day alone?"

"That's what I do most days. It doesn't make a difference to me."

Thank you to @scream-queenlover for picking that prompt out for me and making this lovely cover art to go with the fic, as well as the closing one.

Fandom: Wednesday (2022) and Abott Elementary Characters: Larissa Weems / Melissa Schemmenti Tags: Friendly banter, Dare I say it's fluff? (it's fluff), Food, Mentions of skipping meals. Words: 1497

Happy Birthday, Blondie (link to AO3)

…Kind regards

Larissa Weems, principal of Nevermore Academy.

Larissa sighed in relief after clicking the send button on the latest email. Today had been quite the whirlwind of phone calls, emails and meetings, and it was still only lunchtime, who knew what the afternoon would entail. She closed her eyes, massaging her temples to try and stave off the tension headache she was starting to feel building up. She loved her job, and she loved Nevermore, but there was just something about this sort of days that really took a lot out of her.

The door to her study chose that moment to slam open, noisily hitting the cabinet at the end of its run. “Well, if it isn’t our principal caught dozing off at work!”

There was only one person in Nevermore who had the guts to barge into Larissa’s office unannounced and insult her work ethic at the same time. Larissa refused to give her the satisfaction of opening her eyes.

“What is it, Melissa?”

“Oi! At least look at me when you sigh my name. That’s a privilege not many people have, if you usurp it, I’ll have you move back to using Miss Schemmenti.”

“And we wouldn’t want that.” Larissa deadpanned. But she did crack open her eyes. The fiery head of her coworker was almost too bright in the sunlight that streamed in from the tall windows of her office.

“For sure not today of all days!” The smug grin on Melissa’s face told Larissa that the redhead knew she had won this round. Damn it.

“And what’s so special about today?” Asked Larissa petulantly.

“Are ya kidding me, Blondie?” Melissa looked at her as if she expected some sort of trick from her. Or a smart remark. That was their thing after all. A constant banter, prodding at each other trying to find the right button to push to make the other concede a point in their match of wits.

Larissa liked that. She had been too used to people in awe of her, or too scared of her power (both the political one and the actual shapeshifting) to pose much of a challenge for her. When Melissa joined Nevermore, Larissa had at first balked at what she had perceived as blatant disrespect from the latest addition to staff. But after a while a sort of understanding had formed between the two women, a sort of mutual recognition of kindred spirits (aided by a couple of heart-to-hearts brought along by copious amounts of wine, but they didn’t talk about those too much).

Melissa must have read that she was still missing the point, because she lifted her eyes to the ceiling, as if to ask the heavens to grant her patience, and strode forward to place a cafeteria tray on Larissa’s desk. Larissa blinked at the plates: on one, a heaping portion of lasagna that looked way too good to be standard Nevermore fare, and on the second, bigger plate, a whole chocolate cake, complete with a dripping layer of decadent ganache and a wonky writing that recited: Are you a natural blonde or did you dye for attention?

Larissa tried to avoid drooling at the sight, while her stomach rumbled, reminding her that she had skipped breakfast, again, this morning.

“Happy birthday, Blondie.”

Oh. Was it today? Larissa could’ve sworn today was still Thursday and her birthday wasn’t until…

…her eyes fell on the stylish calendar perched on the side of her desk.

Friday, February 16th.

Whoops.

“You can’t be serious. You had to check the calendar to be sure it was your birthday?”

“No!” Larissa lied quickly. “I just hmm…I wanted to check something, that’s all.”

“Sure, sure, whatever makes you sleep at night. Eat up, you don’t want my lasagna to get cold.”

Larissa picked up the fork. That was Melissa’s cooking. That’s why it looked – and smelled! – so absolutely divine.

“Thank you by the way, you didn’t have to.”

“Oh please. We both know that you skip more lunches than the ones you actually eat. At least on your birthday you should enjoy some good cooking.”

Larissa dipped her fork into the lasagna, inclining it sideways to slice a bite off of it and scooping it up to bring it to her lips. Her eyes fluttered closed in pure bliss as she chewed. It was an explosion of flavors and textures, perfectly balanced and delicious in every aspect. The fullness of the meat, the tangy and yet sweet tomato sauce, the sheets of pasta cooked to perfection, all enveloped by the smooth embrace of the bechamel sauce…it wasn’t just a lasagna, it was a masterpiece.

“Wow.” Was the only word that she could form before she dove back in.

She heard Melissa’s throaty chuckle, and knew without raising her eyes that there was another self-satisfied smile adorning her lips. Well, Larissa could allow her this one. The lasagna was really something else.

They sat in silence for some time while Larissa ate, Melissa having slouched in one of the armchairs in front of Larissa’s desk, as perfectly at ease as if she was in her own living room, before the redhead spoke conversationally.

“You know, I am glad I dropped by at lunch break, so I managed to remind you in time to get ready for whatever you have planned tonight. Not attending your own birthday party would be kinda lame.”

Larissa took her time swallowing the bite before she replied.

“Oh, that’s kind of you, but I don’t have anything planned for tonight. Just a quiet evening in, you know?” Actually, the more this conversation went on, the more Larissa was looking forward to curling up on her couch with a bottle of wine and some good music. Maybe read a bit, too? She almost didn’t remember the plot to the novel she was reading, so long it had been since she last had time to open it. Was that lame? She had just turned 46, she was allowed to wallow a bit and not go out and celebrate if she didn’t feel like it. Right?

“Oh come on. You’re not gonna spend your birthday evening here in your office, are you?”

“Why not? It’s a very nice study, I spent years decorating it just like I want to.”

“Yeah of course. I mean what’s a better birthday companion than a stuffed raven, after all? But seriously, Larissa,” Melissa’s tone turned serious, and the fact that she used her first name instead of a ridiculous nickname signaled that this was not a question Larissa could brush off flippantly, “are you really going to just spend the day alone?"

"That's what I do most days. It doesn't make a difference to me." Larissa shrugged, cleaning the last bit of lasagna sauce off the plate with the side of her fork. She had never been a huge fan of birthdays anyway.

“Absolutely not! I will not allow that.”

“I…beg your pardon?”

“You may beg all you want but you won’t get out of this. Be all ready and dolled up at six this evening. I might not have as many resources here in Vermont but the ex-husband of my second cousin owns the most disreputable dive bar in Williston. We’re going.”

“Melissa, there’s no need to…”

“No no. You misunderstand. This was not a question. You’ll be coming with me to party on your birthday night whether you like it or not, Miss Weems. And you’ll have the time of your life doing so.”

Larissa met her eyes, her bright green eyes looking up at Larissa as if challenging her to disagree, and all it did was make a lovely warmth spread in the taller woman’s chest. She shook her head, an exasperated smile climbing to her lips. 

“Alright, alright, you stubborn woman. You win. We’ll go celebrate my old age at your shady bar. But you’re offering the first round.”

“Ha! As if I’d let the birthday lady pay for her own drinks! I’ll have you know that my nonna raised me properly!”

They made eye contact across the desk, blue meeting green with an intensity that was new and warm and exciting. Larissa tried to convey in that gaze how much Melissa’s actions meant to her. Not just the cake and the birthday wishes. Hell, not even the invite to go out together. It was the fact that Melissa was there for Larissa in a way nobody had been in a very long time.

“Thank you, Melissa.” She said, frustrated at herself for being unable to say more, and yet charging those two simple words with all those untold things.

She was able to see the blush crawling up the other woman’s cheeks at her gratitude, and couldn’t help but think how adorable it made Melissa look. Clearly embarrassed, the redhead ran a hand through her locks and spoke in a gruff voice.

“So are you just gonna stare or are you gonna try the cake?”

The End

For anyone wondering, this is loosely in the same universe as my other Larissa/Melissa fic, New Teacher In Town. You can find more of my fics in my masterlist

Next fic in the challenge >

[jessequinnfirstofhername]

The Rules:

Every twenty-four hours there will be another round. After every round, the character in last place will be eliminated.

If there are multiple characters tying for last place, there will be a special elimination round. In these rounds, every character in last place will be eliminated, even if all the characters have tied equally.

When there are only two characters remaining, they will face off against one another in a week-long poll to determine the victor.

If the character that you consider the hottest isn't listed here, hit the 'what about ___???' option and reply to this post with the overlooked character. The character with the highest 'write-in' votes will be added to the next round. Unless the 'what about ___???' option is the least voted for, in which case it will be eliminated. Welcome to the party, Carmilla Carmine!

This is all for fun. Don't take it too seriously ;)

I created this with a friend while getting *lit* at my birthday party. Excuse any sloppiness.

I forgot to give Alastor and Lucifer their full titles, whoops!

Sayonara Sera!

Oh God those eyes freak me out, no, no, no, no. Ew.

Moving on! It's time for Round Three!

[maypearlss]

𝐨𝐜 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : 𝐫𝐣 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧

i'll be the first to confess that rj is underappreciated. by me, specifically. which is probably why you guys haven't heard as much about him. that's my bad. but it's his time to shine now! and he's gonna be crazy entertaining to write, guaranteed, so that definitely makes up for the lack of attention i've given him. here's all about rj, folks!

on top of being the most cryptic member of overconsumption to the eye of the general public, rj has a penchant for stirring up conflict within the band. call it a hangover from an uneasy childhood. he loves getting under peoples' skin, but, by now, the band has just accepted it as one of his quirks. one quirk of quite a few, including a strong appreciation for any substance that can make life more interesting. one might say another hangover.

but don't be mistaken: behind the continuous mischief-making and frequent benders is a more well-intentioned soul than most give him credit for. misguided, yes, but well-intentioned. it's a part of him that is seldom acknowledged by others in favor of his junkie image—actually, he's seldom acknowledged at all in discussions of overconsumption's success.

no worries. who needs acknowledgment when you're in a world all your own?

𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ⋆｡°✩

full name: roger jesse patterson

age: 23 (1985)–tbd

birthday: march 26

pronouns: he/him

sexuality: pansexual (so closeted even he doesn't know)

ethnicity: scottish-american

occupation: rhythm guitarist for overconsumption

love interest(s): none

likes: causing problems, speedballing, fantasy books/movies, arguing, animals, jeans with giant holes in the knees, being high

dislikes: his friends being genuinely upset about something, working out, getting haircuts, parties, horror movies, boats

height: 5'6

build: small, thin

hair: wavy, red mullet

skin: pale

eyes: grey-blue

𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬�� ⋆｡°✩

⋆ nothing to lose - l.a. guns

⋆ all hell's breakin' loose - kiss

⋆ mr. brownstone - guns n' roses

⋆ smokin' in the boys room - mötley crüe

⋆ nightrain - guns n' roses

⋆ locomotive (complicity) - guns n' roses

⋆ dirty deeds done dirt cheap - ac/dc

⋆ welcome to the jungle - guns n' roses

⋆ dancing on glass - mötley crüe

⋆ right next door to hell - guns n' roses

⋆ no mercy - l.a. guns

⋆ out ta get me - guns n' roses

⋆ coma - guns n' roses

⋆ kickstart my heart - mötley crüe

𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬 ⋆｡°✩

he's, surprisingly, the first friend may makes within the overconsumption group

he can only fall asleep if he's laying on his stomach, but him falling asleep is rare because he isn't a fan of sleeping in general

he named the title track of overconsumption's debut album, all it takes

he's the ex-boyfriend of one of duke's older sisters, liv, whom he still remains on good terms with even after the breakup—duke has a bit (aka a lot) of a grudge against him for it, but he's subtle enough about it that rj doesn't really care

he's lactose intolerant

he's gonna make me really sad

i posted this intro to my instagram like 2 days ago, then forgot to put it here, so WHOOPS!! but it's here now, so all is forgiven :) and that's it for all the main/supporting character intros! the next intros i post will probably be some combined intro posts for some of the side characters like amelie, tigerlily, may's abuelo, those folks! but it might be a little while before then, we'll just see how much energy i have in the near future!

[everybodyknows-everybodydies]

AO3 wrapped!

tagged for two variations of this game by @pia-writes-things and @marylairre - thank you both!! :D combining the two below the cut... this was neat to see haha

20,484 words in 23 fics across 3 fandoms

Top 5 fandoms by word count:

TES (17,786) ER (1,549) The Last Unicorn (478)

Top 5 characters by fic count (this made me laugh):

Kharish (7) Colette (5) Hallie (5) Nerevar (4) Molly (4)

Top 5 ships by fic count:

because I only tag a ship when there's something Romantic(TM) happening/the relationship is already established, so as not to mislead anyone looking for specifically romance-focused fic, I have exactly two this year: trainwreck trio tree-climbing and Kharence kiss :')

Ratings:

G (22) T (1)

Fic categories:

Gen (21) F/F (1) Multi (1)

1) Biggest surprise while writing this year?

being able to stick to a fairly consistent schedule about it lol!

2) How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year?

throws a blanket over wip mountain. at least ten but who knows how many will end up going anywhere!

3) Favourite character to write this year?

PICK A WIZARD ANY WIZARD... special shoutout though as I was genuinely surprised by the character count up there because there is so much of Faralda and Mirabelle in my word docs whoops

4) The character that gave you the most trouble this year?

Martin ;-; he has such a specific presence and I wasn't satisfied with most of what I was trying to do this year. need to replay Oblivion soon to take notes

5) What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

cough............. would like to commit to posting some of the silly little fluff in my docs perhaps. does that count

6) Did you receive any gifts this year?

not on ao3 but yes!! I got to read some wonderful birthday fic from friends :3 and actually earlier this month this one Lemon posted for me making it to day 10,000 of existence :'D

7) Did you do any collaborative works this year?

nope!

8) What do you listen to while writing?

character-specific playlists! I make them mostly to have a soundtrack for when I'm writing/drawing, and I find it helps a lot to keep my thoughts getting too scattered to proceed.

9) Favourite line/passage you wrote this year?

the quick cuts in this one... I know one of my bigger weaknesses is that I inevitably err on the side of saying less instead of more, but sometimes I think that can be a strength too!

thanks again y'all for the tags!! if you've read this far I am tagging YOU YES YOU

[thirteenemeraldcats]

I come bearing random fic asks! 1) tell us about your current wip(s)! 2) what's your writing process like? 3) I think you mentioned you have a background in psychology — how much does that influence your writing?

Hello my beautiful friend!!

Thank you so much for sending me these! I have been sitting on this for days because I wanted to banish 'thought that i was young' from my WIPs before answering lol

1.) Now that THAT'S published (and taken most of my WIP wordcount with it *sad violin noises*) there's 3 fics I'm actively poking at, the chunkiest is a Sam-and-Jamie-BFFS-agenda-6-conversations-they-might-have-had-and-one-they-definitely-didn't which I'm pretty sure I've posted a snip of SOMEWHERE before whoops. The working title was too long for me to cope with, to the extent that it managed to override my inability to make my mind up about anything, and is now called 'i said, maybe' - a line I've gleefully pinched from Wonderwall by Oasis! I like it for this fic because *gestures at working title* BUT ALSO Wonderwall is the song Sam sings at karaoke in 1x07 'Make Rebecca Great Again' and the Manchester connection tickles me greatly!

There's a non-angsty, short-ish (I'm honestly shocked) fic that fell out of my brain nearly fully formed a couple of weeks ago (because almost everyone I knew was either talking about or having birthdays) which ALSO has a title 'because he had no say in it (no say in it at all)', which is almost definitely going to be posted next (and hopefully a LOT sooner than the time-space between 'i learned to walk while he was away' and 'thought that i was young').

The only other thing I'm actively poking at right now is in the outline stage, it is also short-ish (please PLEASE stay that way) but is back to the angst-fest that is apparently all my brain wants to spit out. It's Jamie-centric. It involves a cat :)

2.) Honestly at this point my writing process is best described as:

(sound warning)

ANYWAY

(My actual answer about my writing process is that I love planning. Very much. Stretching the dough into spaghetti is where the problem lies 🫠)

3.) I do indeed have a background in Psychology! Like any undiagnosed-in-denial-17-year-old-DUMBASS, I studied Psych right out of high school due to a combined and truly harebrained motivation of 'what IS going on up there' and 'wow I love systematically studying, analysing and mimicking human behaviour [no underlying NOTHING going on up there no siree]' and wound up with a four year degree. NOW, my background is purely theoretical, I have never been registered as/worked as a Psychologist, so I'm not violating any ethical codes by using my knowledge for evil applying my Psych training to fictional stories/characters. Because the answer to 'how much does that influence your writing' is. SO MUCH. Not necessarily intentionally, there's only one fic in the extended-mountainous-WIP-pile that's explicit about Psych stuff (I'm giving Dani Seasonal Affective Disorder whoops), but psychology is one of those fields that once you're trained in it you can't really ever un-know it. Unfortunately for me, and everyone that I meet, there's forever a predisposing/precipitating/perpetuating/protective biopsychosocial model being drawn up in my head whenever someone exhibits any kind of behaviour my forebrain finds moderately interesting. (This doesn't happen with online friends DON'T WORRY [in truth it's only because I can't physically see you all- I AM SO SORRY- I am not in control of this]).

Honestly, I think a big part of it is just that my particular brand of pattern-recognition-AuDHD has been granted auto-inserted citations and gone mad with power.

Take Jamie, beloved stress ball that he is, he has so much psycho-analysis potential that I'm forever torn between wanting to write a dissertation on the various comorbidities that could be floating around in that guy's head, having a Watsonian v Doylist argument with myself about ~artistic intentions~, having to suspend disbelief for the sake of storytelling because I've been cursed with knowledge (gleefully and enthusiastically sought out and paid for knowledge) and just wanting to enjoy the story/character as they're presented/as I'm writing it.

Applying actual Psychology to fictional characters is like trying to tie a balloon to a moving rollercoaster, for the simple fact that they're not real; their actions and motivations and reactions are scripted and rehearsed and performed.

I'm doing it anyway :)

[khaotungthanawat]

Artists and designers self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five works in any medium that you've created, then pass it on to at least five other creators. Let’s spread the self-love 💛

aw thank you for thinking of me, cat! apologies for being so late to do this 💛💛💛

💜 icon: pete saengtham set - this set was a BEAST to make (the first gif alone took me two days to get the way i wanted it kdfshfj), but i love the way it turned out! i set out to really let loose with typography and animation and transitions, and i think i pulled it off.

🧡 only friends + iphones set - when @cal-kestis shared her template for her incredible iphone sets, i had to give it try! coming up with different color combos and thinking about what the characters would prioritize on their phones was a lot of fun.

💖 emotions: love + uncertainty (sand x ray, only friends) set - this set reinvented itself a few times bc i wanted it to express what was happening between sand and ray at the time it was being posted. i'm often inspired by music, and when 'do i wanna know' by arctic monkeys played in one of my mixes, i knew that had to be the basis. that sand mentions liking arctic monkeys in the show only helped fuel that. i was inspired by this set, esp by the second to last gif, and i wanted a similar effect for my set. it took FOREVER to get it (mostly) the way i wanted it, because i had to just. figure it out? it's not as seamless as it is in the inspiration set, but i think i did okay?

💛 sand x ray, only friends (inspired by this beautiful set by @seamayweed) aka the kintsugi set - i fell in love with sea's kintsugi set and when the prompt of 'inspiration' was announced for the userdramas event, i immediately thought of it. the timing coincided with eps 8 & 9 of only friends, and i was thinking about how ray has these 'cracks' and sand is the gold lovingly piecing them back together to help make something even more beautiful......that was corny as hell but that was the thought process. honestly? i think it turned out beautifully and i'm really proud of it.

❤️ halsey - finally // beautiful stranger (sand x ray, only friends) (tw cracked glass effect and flickering neon) - this was a birthday gift for my beloved @henwilsons, who loves sandray as well. she also likes halsey, so i combed thru some songs and finally (heh) decided to work with 'finally // beautiful stranger'. i feel like the mood and lyrics of the song mirror sand's feelings for ray: this beautiful stranger bulldozes his way into his life and he wants to believe they can just be friends, that sex between them won't change anything ('and i say i'm only playing'). but whoops he fucked around and fell in love. and he's been hurt but he can't help but want this man. (god these bozos mean so much to me.) i wanted the set to have a 'last call at the bar' kind of vibe, so i used deep blue and red and then paired that with neon lighting. the cracked glass effect to convey being terrified and hurt just made sense to me. i think it turned out nice, and mia really liked it, and that was the most important thing!

💚 put that blorbo under a microscope!: ray pakorn - she's new but i love her! like most a lot of my sets, i didn't have a solid idea in my head about what i wanted to do. i knew that i wanted to gif ray (he's such a dumpling), that the scene of ray and sand in the hallway of the rehab center with the green floral art behind them made me want to use green, and it evolved from there. infinite thanks go to @deokmis who patiently listened to me ramble about this and gave me valuable suggestions and feedback that made it so much better! i love this set and i'm obsessed with green now.

so there you go. yeah, i know. i did six sets. i couldn't choose and also i don't know how to shut up. don't be like me. be normal.

[tsuki-sennin]

"ppl who celebrate character birthdays are annoying pass it on"

FUCK this post, and Happy Birthday Neon Kurama~! ...right, so you know it's all gonna go horribly wrong, but she's our friend! We support her!

Spoilers, I guess...

-What a massive L the Jyamato have taken.

-Garden Grandpa has become Construction Grandpa!

-OOOOOOOH

-Oh hey Daichi. Just sorta hangin' around, huh?

-I don't blame you tbh, I'd be sitting on my ass too.

-April 4th! That's two days from now!

-:)

-Happy Basuday~!

-...:(

-They kidnapped the poor girl on her birthday.

-"What do you even get the Celebrity 'It' Girl who has everything? ...aside from loving parents, treatment like a normal human being, a boyfriend who isn't over twice her age, and a break from creepy weirdos on the internet?"

-...three, five, and seven, huh?

-Keiwa's just totally numb to all of Ace's... Ace-iness.

-Toro, toro!

-It's a Toreador! Just like the ones referenced in that indie horror game from 2014! Octodad: Dadliest Catch!

-...is this just the Seito/Touto proxy battle arena from Build? I think it is, at least, I'm probably wrong.

-Beroba continues to Bull-y Michinaga for her entertainment.

-Fight!

-I swear, by my sword and capote, that I will once again prove victorious!

-Bullfight!

-Rook! Bishop! Buffa! All the most powerful chess pieces!

-Shut the fuck up Chirami, you ain't doing shit.

-"Happy Birthday :)"

-Na-Go Stans are wildin'

-We win, we party!

-Hot damn, Keiwa!

-Oooooh, disarming yourself for a shot? Clever.

-Oh, whoops! Bero be cheatin', who coulda guessed!

-"You cheated. You didn't learn, you didn't improve."

-Oh God, Beroba's gonna leak her DMs.

-Gotta win!

-Oh hello, Kyuun.

-"A present! For me~?"

-"No! >:( ...Maybe :("

-You're so full of crap, man.

-Free Boost~!

-Sweet and salty! Just like sea-salt ice cream!

-Word of advice lads, be honest.

-OH FUCK, IT'S DAD

-...I think I forgot his name, I'm just gonna call him Papa Naoto until I remember it.

-You're only like... marginally better a parent than your wife, man. And that's only because you don't hit her or constantly try restraining her.

-...man, I just realized, Neon suffers trauma from being kidnapped at a young age and her mother just... holds her captive. Irony at its most fucked up.

-To be quite honest, I don't think Kyuun'd be much better company than Jeff Pesos or whoever Izumi had in mind.

-Man, these supporter plotlines are so interesting, holy shit.

-Ah, yep. There's Ace. Looking into it.

-"Geats. How unexpected."

-...Waaaait...

-"I've had quite enough of family matters from last season, thank you very much."

-KOUSEI, THAT'S HIS NAME

-Ace, you don't just walk up to a girl and lay her backstory out like that.

-I'll give Kousei credit, he at least seems legitimately worried.

-Doesn't even seem to have a scratch on her. Seems a little at odds with the depiction of the kidnapping itself, huh?

-Man... Can't even cake.

-Time for the mountain lion to descend upon the bull.

-...shit, that was lame. Pretend you never noticed that.

-OH?

-Okay, it's Ace time!

-Beroba's such a scrublord. Or uh... scrublady, as the case may be.

-Ooooooh, boy!

-Set!

-Dual On! Ninja! Magnum!

-Ready, Fight!

-Get splashed, idiot!

-"Two, huh?"

-Set!

-Ooooooh, he's not going into Laser Boost, okay!

-That's neat! They kept that suit around!

-PNGTuber Beroba.

-Ohhhhhh noooo

-You're an absolutely horrendous excuse of human being, Beroba.

-Great job Takahashi, banger villain. Especially you Namika-san, you're putting in a fantastic performance <3

-Ohhh, Ace is MAD mad.

-Everybody loves Na-Go-san!

-...holy shit, that is so cruel. They just

-Instantly went on a targeted harassment campaign.

-AKARI?

-Ohhhh

-...that's

-That's depressing as fuck.

-...that goes a long way to explain why Izumi was so controlling and Kousei dumped all his money into... I'm gonna be completely honest, what's basically a snuff film ring.

-Why would he let Giroli pick Neon to play then?

-"She was lying" SHUT THE FUCK UP

-Completely ruined my homegirl's life.

-Fucking MURDER that thing, Ace.

-Oh shit, Kyuun! My dude!

-Next episode.

-#NaGoSweep!

[creampuffqueen]

soo if you dont mind me asking, do you know when or why you started coming to some kind of realizations that you were bi (or possibly lesbian)?

i have lived my entire life convinced im straight but after some things i realized that i may be bi. But i dont know. i dont think im a lesbian but i also know im not fully straight, you know?

please don't answer if this too personal or uncomfortable, i dont want you to answer anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. you can totally ignore it.

I saw your post about talking things through with your friend recently and i'm really happy you were able to have that open conversation with someone you trust about yourself, despite what your label or sexuality may be ❤️.

if you do choose to answer this, thank you in advance. i appreciate it.

of course i don't mind you asking!! honestly i'm very flattered and honored to be asked this as i'm certainly no expert on sexuality or anything like this, but it makes me happy that my blog is a safe and welcoming space for someone who has these kinds of questions!

so, here's sort of a quick and dirty rundown of my sexuality journey. (i ended up putting this under a cut because it got a bit long whoops).

for starters, i grew up in a christian household in a small, conservative town in the middle of nowhere texas. my parents are far from being fundamentalists or anything, but they just... never spoke about other sexualities. i didn't even know being gay was an OPTION until i was about 12.

in middle school, many of my friends began to discover/experiment with sexuality and gender labels. i never really did, i always felt content and comfortable with my attraction to boys. (or, due to recent realizations, my supposed attraction to boys. but we can touch on that later).

then, some time around when i was 12-13, i had an Experience that made me begin to question things a bit.

i was at a sleepover for a friend's birthday party, and after a long night of fun we all fell asleep in her living room in our sleeping bags. i was the first to wake up in the morning, and in order to not wake anyone else up, i stayed in my sleeping bag and played video games on my phone. at one point, another girl woke up, and since we were the only two awake, she came and sat next to me. i didn't know this girl too well, she was a mutual friend of the sleepover girl. but at one point, in order to better see what i was playing on my phone, she crawled inside the sleeping bag with me.

and i just remember feeling warm all over as she laid next to me. i was struck with the sudden desire to pull this girl close and cuddle with her. i don't remember anything else about that sleepover except this one moment early in the morning.

i went to school the next week and spoke about this with one of my friends who knew they were queer, saying that i thought i might have a crush on this girl and wondering if i could possibly be bisexual.

and... my friend told me that no, i didn't have a crush on this girl, i clearly just wanted to be Really Really Good Friends with her. obviously. comphet hits even the queer middle schoolers, apparently.

and so after that i was like 'okay then you're the expert! guess i don't like girls :)' and then literally didn't think about it for the next 2-3 years.

time jump to 15 year old Mal, stuck inside during the Covid Summer of 2020 with nothing to do. my brother and i decided to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender for the first time together to pass the time. i saw Suki on screen for the first time and felt something in me Change.

i've always had fictional crushes, you know? but nothing like this.

and as all well adjusted gen-z kids do, i made a bunch of memes about it. at first they were all jokes. just, 'lol, look how much i love this fictional character'.

but after a while i began to realize that i wasn't exactly joking anymore.

so there you have it folks, suki from avatar made me like girls.

but even after this realization, i still wasn't exactly comfortable with calling myself bisexual. i went by queer for a little while, before eventually settling on bisexual. now, ATLA was my first introduction to the world of animation. i began to watch a ton more animated shows after finishing it, and in all the shows i often found myself more drawn to the female characters than the males. don't get me wrong, i still enjoyed those characters, but i was OBSESSED with the girls.

and after i went back to school in person, i did begin to notice that what i originally thought was just wanting to be friends with girls was running a bit deeper than that. i had my first real girl crush (i stopped liking her after she trashed the legend of korra to my face though).

and that was my life for the last few years! i was very happy with being bisexual, and i am very lucky that i have such a supportive and accepting friend group. coming out to my friends was so easy and i've never been worried they wouldn't accept me, which is great.

and now, for what has led me to believe i might possibly be a lesbian.

i got my first boyfriend my senior year of high school. he was an absolutely wonderful guy. i've always been pretty 'picky' when it comes to men. i get crushes very easily but if a guy starts to reciprocate then they have to meet this high list of standards i have composed in my head. and this guy met them all.

by all accounts, i should have been SO happy. like i'm not even exaggerating when i say that this boy was basically perfect. he treated me so well. my friends and family adored him.

and yet, something just didn't feel right. i started to get very nervous about being alone with him. i started getting annoyed whenever he texted me. i started avoiding seeing him, avoiding having him come over. eventually it got to the point where i decided i just had to end things, because something was off with me and i didn't want to string him along when he deserved better. i broke up with him and didn't shed a single tear.

everyone was pretty confused, but eventually got over it. i thought that perhaps it was just a fluke. it was my first real relationship, maybe i was just nervous.

but then it happened again this year in college. i met a great guy on a dating app. we had fun together, he was really nice and respectful. we never made it official, but we spent enough time together it was basically a relationship. and then, again, when everything should have been going well i started feeling the same things as before. anxiety, annoyance, avoidance. i broke it off with him over text and felt relieved when it was finally over.

after that, i began to consider the possibility that i was never attracted to guys in the first place. i lost sleep over it, i was thinking so hard.

and then i thought to myself 'i don't think people who are attracted to guys have to think this hard about it'.

so since then, i've been entertaining the possibility that i might be a lesbian. it's still a journey, and i'm working on being okay with the in between stage i'm in. i don't want to put a definitive label on myself until i've been with a girl, which isn't something i've had the opportunity to do yet.

and that's sort of all the major events in my life that i've had in regards to my sexuality!

i hope this has been of some help to you, anon! i also just want to add in some reassurance as well. sexuality can be a complex thing, so don't feel the need to rush into a new label if you're not ready yet. everyone's journey is at their own pace, and you're not 'less' bisexual if this is something you've only recently discovered about yourself!

i wish you all the luck with your self-discovery, anon! and my inbox and dms are always open if you have more questions!

[infamousmonkey-cat]

I wasn't gonna do a reaction post this week for reasons that will probably become obvious but then I was annoyed at myself for not doing one yesterday, because I would have felt like SUCH a smartie pants for predicting that Ed was gonna fish up one of the bottles, and now I just have to hope that you will believe me that I did predict that in the privacy of my own mind (though I owe it all to that one post from weeks ago that was like "what if a fisherman found the bottles" so I can't really take credit but ANYWAY). But yeah thoughts below cut

This got kind of absurdly long whoops. Also I am inevitably going to say stuff that people disagree with but man I am begging you to be gentle with me. I am just trying to work through some of my feelings about the show and other people are going to have different feelings and that is FINE and nobody is under attack here and there is room for different opinions peace and love

Quick disclaimer: I haven't been reading a ton of meta or diving into the tag or anything, so if I say something wildly off about the fandom response at any point, it's based on vibes from what's been on my dash and I may have got the wrong end of the stick there.

I'll go ep by ep for the most part but this point applies to both eps, so I'll dive in first: I seem to be in a minority within the more active parts of the fandom in that I truly do not have strong feelings about Izzy one way or the other. I do personally feel that his characterisation in season two is not consistent with that in season one, HOWEVER 1) I have not expended a ton of mental energy on doing a deep dive into his s1 characterisation, so I'm willing to believe I've missed stuff [not actually convinced of this but don't care enough to put my foot down about it] and 2) it simply does not bother me. I consider Izzy to be a secondary character that they've decided to somewhat retool in between seasons, and I am basically fine with it. You know who else is different this season? Jim! It seems pretty obvious to me that the development of BOTH these characters is due to the influence of the actors, and honestly, that happens in TV. I DO understand people's frustration that a character who espoused views and behaviours that were fundamentally at odds with the whole moral premise of the show has been rehabilitated so easily, buuuut... I don't personally want a version of this show where Izzy's rehabilitation arc is given tons of screen time, either, so I am okay with just accepting it. ALSO, this s2 version of his character--while not necessarily feeling entirely earned--is considerably more fun to me! I'm really enjoying his bitchy little one-liners and his drag act and whatever. To make a comparison, I did see some complaints early on that Oluwande's relationship with Zheng felt rushed, but to me they fully sold it with their performances: it was easy to read between the lines that there had been a growing attraction between them for a while. Point being, I think we need to be okay with allowing some of the secondary character/relationship development to be elided, because it is not necessarily a priority to have it all put on screen in front of us.

Anyway, moving on to ep 6: I don't have a huge amount to say about the bulk of this episode. For the most part I really enjoyed it. I think Ned Low is a great send-up of the monologuing villain with a lot of psychosexual baggage, and I loved the way that was resolved. I'm probably the only person in the world who didn't already know this, but I looked up Hellcat Maggie because the name rang a bell, and she was a member of the Irish-American Dead Rabbits Gang in the 1800s, which was also known as the Mulberry Boys, and their enemies were the supporters of the anti-immigration Know Nothing party. Supposedly she used to file her teeth down to points. I am not making any of this up. [Bob Dylan voice] Go home and look it up on WIKIPEDIA*

Anyway: the party planning/coconut shack date, Calypso's Birthday and the Ned Low showdown all worked great for me. Some of the stuff--Ed shoving Stede behind him and begging Ned to torture him instead--was honestly a LITTLE bit tropey for my tastes, but hey, they're classics for a reason. I kind of think it would have been interesting to see the opposite dynamic (though of course we do see Stede trying to protect Ed in his own way later in the episode): we've already seen this kind of thing from Ed back in 1x09 with the British, so a role reversal might have been a bit more interesting to me (since this season has been so much about role reversal), but like this is a very minor niggle.

I think that Stede's disposal of Ned worked narratively and wasn't inconsistent with his character (I get the vibe that some people think it was?), and I think that Ned's line about Stede being a "pet" and Ed only liking him for his "bumbling amateur status" was some really rich stuff (and a callback to the QAR crew's description of Ed and Stede's relationship back in 1x06). And of course the whole "pet" motif has been running through season two as well: Stede's callback to doggy heaven, Ed's cat bell, even Wolf the bunny. There's something really interesting there, but I don't know if there's enough time left in the season to really get to grips with it?

Moving on to the sex scene: here I seem to be a bit out of step with my own small fandom circle, because I had mixed feelings at best about this. I've seen the argument that the show was obviously framing it as being romantic, with the fireworks etc.; I guess that's what bothers me about it, because to me it was so obviously... off. To be clear, I don't think it was in any way non-consensual or anything like that, and hey, the kiss, out of context? Amazing! But IN context--Stede has JUST had his first real kill, which has been framed by the narrative and the other characters as a big deal. Also framed as a big deal: Ed asking to take things slow in ep 5. Ed comes to Stede to "talk things through", and brings up his own most significant trauma--the death of his father (right after we saw a super quick flashback to some of Stede's own dad-related trauma)--and Stede cuts him off with a forceful kiss. To me, it feels kind of obvious that their first sexual encounter is being linked with violence and childhood trauma in a way that is not, like, fun or sexy or romantic TO ME, regardless of how the rest of the scene is shot and intercut (which is not me making a moral judgment on anyone else's feelings about this scene; just stating my own emotional reaction to it). IF the show wants us to find this hot/romantic, then it didn't work for me and I found it jarring. If the show wanted us to find this kind of destabilising and compromised, then it worked for me but I feel like we deserved better!

SO. Episode 7. I'm just going to be super upfront right at the top: this episode really bummed me out and I didn't like it. Not saying I hated every minute of it or that nothing worked for me, but overall I didn't enjoy it. I saw on the official OFMD Instagram account's stories a couple of days ago some footage from one of those preview screenings they did of these episodes in a cinema or whatever. The MC was like "how about those episodes!" and I remember thinking, "wow, the audience seems kind of weirdly muted". Well now I get it! I would have been too!

I've seen people saying that Ed panicking and running off to become a fisherman is a mirror to Stede panicking and running back to his wife in 1x09, which does track, but I actually think that the symmetry here is multivalent, and there are also echoes of 1x08, which for the record is my most hated episode of season one that I can almost not bear to rewatch--not because I think the WRITING is bad but just because it is a little bit too real for me, in terms of situations I've been in where someone I care about who supposedly cares for me lets the worst person in the world treat me really badly, picks them over me and then acts like it never happened and expects me to just be fine with it? I DON'T LIKE THAT!

So yeah, listen, I always felt like Ed leaving with Jack at the end of 1x08 and then immediately coming back was kind of a double beat, or even a triple beat. We already had him threatening to leave and then changing his mind in the previous episode, and then we have STEDE leaving in the following episode, so I always felt like it sat a little bit oddly for me. I do think it's an important and enlightening episode in terms of Ed's character and in revealing some of the underlying issues in their relationship that they need to address (plus giving us yet another flavour of toxic masculinity), but I don't know, it has always bugged me a little bit even beyond the fact that it is just too personally painful for me to enjoy.

Slight detour here--I'm gonna bring it back--to say that, while I am more glad than sorry that we have had so much BTS and promo stuff for the finale, it does create a little bit of a sense of inevitability to proceedings that undercuts any dramatic tension? Like, I feel like we can fairly confidently put together the beats of at least the first act of next week's episode. Those being: Ed has left, he is in a rowboat, he realises that Stede is in trouble--under attack from the British no less!--and heroically turns back to save his true love. So--basically the end of 1x08 again.

As much as I have been enjoying the narrative symmetry thus far, it's in 2x07 that it starts to feel forced, for me. While I can totally buy that Ed starts to regret the sex for all the reasons I mentioned above (though to be clear I don't think he regrets it until later), and that he's uncomfortable with Stede getting drunk and rowdy and playing into a pirate archetype that Ed wants to leave behind (all of this ALSO mirrors/reverses Stede and Ed in 1x08 btw), the idea that he would decide to leave forever to be a fisherman? This is the same guy who spent the first three episodes of the season totally inconsolable because Stede left him, and regained the will to live because of a vision of Stede? And now he's just voluntarily leaving forever because of one conflict? I... guess this accords with Ed's previous behaviour in 1x08, but again, that's always kind of bugged me. I don't know, man, I know they need to set up the big romantic beach reunion scene, but I feel like they could have had Ed go off fishing to clear his head after an argument instead, and that would have felt a bit easier to swallow for me. Sure, not as dramatic, but more believable.

So, this brings me to something about the show that I am starting to find a little bit disappointing, which is that... I feel like it keeps undercutting moments of tenderness and queer joy! It didn't bother me so much in season one, I think just because the show was such a breath of fresh air in so many ways. But now, having committed to being the queer pirate show and playing into that in the marketing and kind of rebranding the whole identity of the show as being a queer love story (which is always WAS but wasn't initially marketed as), I kind of feel like there's a promise inherent in that. And yet again and again I feel like we're getting the rug pulled out from under us. Like--Stede's beautiful love confession in 2x04 being immediately mocked by Anne and Mary (I know people love Anne and Mary but honestly it was getting a little too close to Calico Jack territory for me at times). Like the sex scene feeling (to me) weirdly compromised. Like Ned Low attacking the Revenge before Ed and Stede can dance together! Like Ed deciding to cut and run, AGAIN, at the slightest sign of trouble. And I know it's going to get resolved next week, and I feel like the release schedule for this season (not to mention only getting eight eps obviously) has been to its detriment. I understand why they felt like they needed to put out episode three in the first week because our guys don't even share the screen until then, but I think 2x07 MIGHT have felt a lot more palatable if it had gone out with the finale instead. I also think 2x03 and 2x04 going out together might have felt like a more natural pairing, and would have meant that I was not overwhelmed with misery after the first three eps (actually I still would have been overwhelmed with misery because of stuff in my real life but like, LESS so maybe). Although getting to savour the 2x03 end scene for a whole week was pretty great, and ditto 2x05, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

Anyway. 2x07 felt really off to me, primarily in the characterisation of both Ed and Izzy, but also somewhat in the showdown between Zheng and Stede. I could understand it more if I felt that s2 had done a lot of work to establish that Stede is straying towards playing into a toxically masculine pirate archetype, but I think there are really only two times (prior to this ep) where this happens: the (dream sequence) opening of 2x01 and the third act of 2x06. Otherwise, we've seen him being really good at customer service, embracing the "tender" label from Zheng and fitting in with the Red Flag girls, counselling Lucius, saving his crew after the mutiny despite his heart being broken, bonding with Izzy, serving cunt in a cursed new suit, defusing the situation with Ned (until he didn't)--basically Stede has been really GAY this season? Like I honestly felt like THAT was the way he had swung, not towards performing violence and hypermasculinity. So Zheng's dressing down, while maybe working in the context of the scene or even the whole episode, doesn't feel well-integrated into Stede's season 2 arc to me.

Look, I'm going to leave it there. I know this is long-winded and rambling and I fully lost track of time and missed the window to use my Early Bird chest on Duolingo. I doubt anyone will read this whole thing. I just needed to get some stuff off my chest I guess.

*Anyone on Dylan twitter gets this reference!! There's tons of crossover between tumblr OFMD fandom and Dylan twitter, RIGHT? Anyway it was a thing he said in the outro to 'Goodbye Jimmy Reed' at a concert the other night. It was funny because of his dramatic delivery of the word 'Wikipedia' followed by him immediately running out of momentum and mumbling "Wikipedia" again with zero confidence. It was some nice late-career Dylan stage banter. I went to see him around this time last year and man this R&RW tour is great, even though I saw it in a pretty bad venue. The best time I ever saw Dylan was at the Brixton Academy, he played the intro to 'London Calling', it was electric. The first time I saw him was at the NEC arena in Birmingham and it was kind of a letdown but I have fond memories of it anyway, I went with my dad. I was talking to this bartender the other week about seeing your heroes live and honestly it made me realise that I haven't been to any live music in way too long! I'm happy to say that I got to see Bobby Womack perform live right before he died--actually technically I didn't SEE him, you see I was volunteering at Latitude and the bar was perpendicular to the stage. However I COULD hear him. One time I saw Nick Cave live and a woman standing behind me fainted on me! It was pretty stressful but I'm still glad I can say I saw Nick Cave live you know what I mean? The dream would be to see David Byrne but I doubt I could afford it... maybe it'll happen who knows

[sh33bs]

Uh, whoh, huh??? I am Looking???? At my notifs for my art blog and ouphaou??

I didnt expect to get followed by oni official?????? Help, this is so funny to me im jus sitting here oh boy

They are reminding me though that i have [looks at files] way too many art files to post, or rather that i need to post at some point in a queue. I keep forgetting to. Whoops <3

I should do that tomorrow, maybe rn. I am avoiding sleep at the moment, so MAYBE right now

Maybe silly little art posts as a treat for roght now,… maybe exclusively 1 character, because today is my silly oc birthday and so she’s the only one ever in my brain today even more than any other day

Hehe

Its 3:19 am, i’m just rambling here for funzies

I have run out of thoughts, anyways back to what i was doing I just wanted to yell a moment into the nothingness void

[avocado-frog]

WIP files tag

Thank u to @the-stray-storyteller this is a new one I'm not going to do all of them because I have... quite a few (206) and so I'm just going to go by canon chapter what they're saved as instead of all the extra shit

RULES: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and answer with a snippet or tell them about it. Tag as many people as you have WIPS

Well, I technically only have three real ones, these are all just files for them so I don't have to tag 100 people: @elizaellwrites @briannaswords @litbylightning

(Forget me not- 1-30 Dahlia- 31-51 Rosemary- 51-93)

Halloween chapter (part 1: Leo. black rose)

Picture + Sam cameo

School chapter/Leo characterization moment

Things Are Getting Spooky

Leo steals a vehicle

Jaxon and Dylan are here!!

Logan and Lily are here!!

Leo character development moment

Ryan and Sam are here!!

Elliot is here!!

Part two- Jaxon. Zinnia. Just Vibing

Dylan backstory moment

Ryan and Elliot kidnap Logan or something

Exposition chapter

Merry crisis

Elliot mental illness moment

Ryan fucking DROWNS

Ryan backstory moment + bonding

Maine arc part one

Picnic chapter (im so sad)

Part three- Elliot. Lily of the valley. Sad times are near

Elliot VS staircase (part one of three)

Elliot goes mortal kombat mode (elliot vs staircase part two)

Dylan backstory moment again

SHIT FUCK THINGS ARE HAPPENING

Ryan vs Elliot (ryan has the knife) (skipped this outline like a dumbfuck)

sobs screams cries

Triplet backstory hours + STOP FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS

Ryan vs Elliot (elliot has the knife) (rest in peace)

sequel bait (brain arc technically)

Dahlia 1- Sam. Marigold. ABSURD the word count on this bitch

Leo vs Jaxon (Jaxon loses)

Sam being a sad lil guy

In which I needed 21 chapters so i wrote this one

Logan backstory hours

Dylan kidnaps a coma patient

Dahlia part two- Dylan. Iris. Things are getting spooky again

Beginning of the brain arc

Dylan and Ryan vs The Horrors (brain arc)

Leo backstory chapter (real world)

And they were roommates (real world)

Park/Forest/Circus (brain arc)

Who Could've Seen This Coming (real world)

Lab/Mirror/Garden (brain arc) (Also! Part three- Ryan. Asphodel)

Logan Lily and Cass vs the horrors (real world)

Docks/Playroom/Memory (brain arc)

Sam is a magic man (real world)

Leo vs Jaxon (Leo loses)

Logan adopts two more kids

Dylan, Elliot, Logan + where did jax go

Jaxon left the group chat

Rosemary 1- Cass. Sunflower (I THINK) things are happening all of the time

In which i really liked jellicoe road

Jaxon is stolen

Another Emily backstory

Jaxon backstory chapter (will i have one for all the kids?)

The kids all have bonding hours

More Emily (BOOO)

Elliot and Dylan (good for the soul)

Leo is stolen from the hospital whoops

One more Olivia + Emily chapter

Part 2- Logan. Woodland sage. I really wish I could've used Jaxon instead

Jaxon and Leo reunion (gone wrong)

Jaxon and Leo stop being the Worst (derogatory)

Dylan and Logan finally stop being the Worst (affectionate)

Dylan finally manages to get through to Leo

Jaxon loses hand privileges

Leo's escape

Dylan Fucking Dies

Jaxon is being weird

Get stabbed nerd

Jaxon goes feral

Part 3- Lily. Gladiolus. YES I KNOW WHAT HER FLOWER SHOULD BE SHUT THE FUCK YOUR UP

Oh yeah marcy is a character

Cass and Elliot bonding times

Dylan backstory dump (i honest to god skipped this outline again)

Leo and Logan go to get Jaxon (gone wrong)

War arc or something

Logan and Leo vs Jaxon

Fighting fighting fighting

Ryan vs Jaxon. Elliot character development moment

The twins commit felonies (logan is there too)

Part 4- Marcy. Hyacinth. HA FUCK YOU U THOUGHT I WOULD SKIP HER HUH

Kai and Jaxon being much gayer than I meant for them to be

Jaxon is finally allowed to talk to the kids, Ryan is sad

Nothing important happens. the kids watch a movie

More talking + wrapping up plot shit

Part 5- Kai. Peony. FIVE CHAPTERS LEFT

Happy birthday to the Jaxon himself

Logan, Marcy, Kai final chapter

Jaxon and Dylan final chapter

Leo and Cass's birthday. Lily, Ryan, Sam, Cass, Elliot, Leo final chapter

LAST ONE.

Character charts

outlines???

Character analysises

flower symbolism + characters

funky ghost au

medieval au

group chat thing