#not me hurting my throat trying to get he lyrics recorded without a drink nearby

[dimensionheists]

idgaf if Sonny has forgotten about this song I FUCKIN HAVENT

[im-whatchamccallit]

Aggravate//Kim Wonpil (Day6)

Pairing: Kim Wonpil x Reader

Genre: Overall angst, Fluff towards the end

Warnings: Prolly not

Words: 2.1k

(A/N: Might be a lot of typos and kinda trash but this is my first writing outside of fluff so... Yay?!)

I slowly made my way into the nearly empty recording room, the only person present being Wonpil. His eyes were focused on the sheet of lyrics lying on the desk in front of him, he lips mumbling words yet his pupils barely moving along the lines as he slouched forward. He looked awful but I wouldn’t tell him that, he needed my support.

They had finished a major tour and, now, they were back, only to spend more days in the studio and less time relaxing, which was unusual for Wonpil since he always spent the first few days by my side. Maybe it’s been the year or so we’ve been together that made me cling to him like a koala to a tree but I was quickly starting to miss seeing him every night and day, before work and after work, even talking about anything before we went to bed, my only time with him being me sneaking out to see him with crappy excuses. Tonight’s being that I bought them coffee.

I gave a small smile, although he didn’t bother to look up and see it, as I placed one of the coffees by his side, leaving the others on a nearby table. I shyly walked behind his chair, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my cheek to his hair, only receiving an unenthusiastic “hi” and a pat on my hand.

“Where are the others?”

“Went to get food.” Gosh, even his response were monotone and void, but I tried to keep my optimism, hoping it’ll rub off on him.

“Well, you know you could have went. You could probably use the break.”

“Your arms are in the way, (Y/N).” I sighed and rolled my eyes, removing my arms as I stood up straight.

He immediately ducked back down and grabbed his pen, writing a few more lines for his song. I stood there, waiting for some kind of response that proved he acknowledged my existence but he went back to his zombie-like state. Their recent comeback was amazing so, maybe, he was under pressure trying to find something to top it, although everything they did was stellar. But he was pushing himself too hard, it made feel uneasy watching his head tilt to the side as if he were dozing off, my body immediately moving around him to grab the coffee.

“Here, can you at least drink some?” His head immediately perked up as he turned to the room temperature substance, wrapping a hand around mine and the cardboard sleeve before dragging it to his lips.

I watched happily as he drank it before noticing the lid wasn’t on completely, my hands trying to cautiously close it but it was much harder than I thought. I held on tightly to the cup, trying to press down on the lid but seeing it only slip open slightly more, Wonpil groaning while trying to pull away.

“I’m just trying to close it so it doesn’t spill all over y-“

“Dammit!” I jumped back as he screamed out, my hand grasping the cup too hard that it exploded all over the desk, covering his papers and dripping onto him.

I hurriedly placed the useless cup down before rushing to him, trying to help in any way I could.

“I’m so sorry. Just let me hel-“

“No! Stop!” Wonpil stood immediately and I moved back as far as possible, the room much smaller than I remembered as I felt against his synthesizer, gasping as we turned to see it lying on the ground.

Wonpil immediately ran over to place it back on its stand but, instead, only picked up a chipped piece of a key. I felt my heart stop as he stood up and glared at me, my throat growing dry as I tried to stutter out an apology but he was angry. It was something I’ve never seen with him and it was almost terrifying, even when he raised his voice at me I felt like a child being scolded.

“Wonpil,”

“Why are you even here? Every night when you show up, all you do is bother me and distract me! As if things weren’t hard enough, you just made them ten times worse! How the hell am I supposed to fix this, (Y/N)?!”

“I’ll fix it. I’m sorry!”

“No, you won’t. You never supported me being in a band, you can’t even be bothered to just let me work!” I stared at him incredulously, no longer feeling sorry but angry at his words.

“Never supported you? The only reason I come here is because you’re barely home! You tour for months at a time just to hide away here and sleep ever few hours, and all I get is a lousy ‘I’m fine’ text but you’re not! I’ve supported you for the past year and a half, and you think I’m doing this to hurt you?”

“No, you’re doing this to annoy me. Have I ever gone to your job and destroy everything you’ve worked on? No! Because I’m not that fucking selfish!”

I fell silent as I pursed my lips, my eyes stinging with tears as I took a deep breath, trying not to lose myself.

“Wonpil, shut up before we both say something we’ll regret.”

“(Y/N), I want you to just go home, go to bed, and leave me alone!”

The faint squeaking of the door alarmed me that the others were back, and they most likely heard everything, causing my face to grow hot with anger and embarrassment. I looked at Wonpil, seeing his face go between emotions as we stared at one another. Anger, confusion, sadness, regret; all in under a second.

“You know what? I will leave you alone, Wonpil.” I hurriedly turned and headed for the door, moving past the scared yet confused bunch so they wouldn’t see me crying, my teeth sinking into the inside of my cheek as I tried to hold back a sob.

I could hear the faint sounds of them asking what happened with Wonpil’s distressed voice fading as I pushed through the exit, the brisk midnight air hitting my face immediately as I made my way around the corner. Whenever I was upset, I took the long way home, Wonpil pointed it out to me once. But, I decided to take a shortcut this time, knowing that, if he did try to come looking for me, he wouldn’t find me right away.

~*~

I had only been home for twenty minutes but I was already missing it. My eyes stared down at the suitcase and small backpack filled with clothes and other necessities, the chiming on my phone making me both anxious and relieved. Anxious that it may be my friend saying she was outside for me, relieved that it may be Wonpil texting me again. But, even if it was him, I felt like crawling into a hole just so I wouldn’t have to face him. I know he’s just stressed and needed some space to finish his work but, everything he said, it felt like he’s been holding it in for so long. That’s what he always did. He never told me what bothered him but made me tell him my problems, trying to find ways to fix it even when they weren’t in need of fixing. But how could I fix his problems when the problem is me?

Wonpil was always the clingy one when we first started dating. He never let me leave without as much as a hug, he never let me sleep until he knew I ate, he’d even visit me at work just to drop off lunch and tell me he loved me. He knew that his affection would make my stand-offish nature turn into utter neediness? Thinking back, I was always on his back, even if I was just worried about him. Maybe leaving him alone is the best option. Some time apart could probably do us some good.

I slowly grabbed my phone and saw a text from Sungjin, a small sigh leaving as I opened it.

‘Wonpil’s looking for you. Why aren’t you answering?’

I could practically hear his frustration through the words. Now I suddenly became the other’s burden as well. I needed to leave.

I stood from the sofa and slid my phone into my back pocket, gripping my bags and preparing to just head to some bus station, my friend obviously not planning to respond at this time of night. I jumped as I heard the front door slam against the wall before slamming shut, my eyes widening as Wonpil rushed into our living room, his body freezing as we stared at one another. His face contorted a bit as he let a small sob slip past his lips his eyes began to water, my hands immediately dropping my bags to approach him, our arms wrapping around one another as he finally began to cry. I let out a weak gasp as he held onto me tighter, my hands just rubbing his back as he buried his face into my neck.

“Please don’t leave, please. I’m so sorry I yelled at you and called you annoying and said you were selfish; I didn’t mean any of it, (Y/N). I’m so sorry, just don’t leave.” He sounded so broken, his voice shaky as he stuttered out his apology.

I didn’t know what to do now. Part of me wanted to just tell him we should be apart for a few days, part of me wanted to confront him and ask why he said those things if he didn’t mean them, and the rest of me just didn’t want to let him go. I’ve seen him cry many times before yet it was just the same as his anger, it had to take a lot for him to get this way. The residue from our argument still remained, needing to be addressed and swept away yet I couldn’t force that onto him now, not in his state.

I sighed and brought my hands to his shoulders, pushing him so he was standing up right, his face slightly red as tears continued to pour from his eyes and he attempted to silence his sobs. My hands instantly cupped his face as my thumbs wiped away his tears, his eyes opening as I gave a small pursed lip smile. He looked exhausted and defeated, it honestly could have made me cry again.

“What you said hurt me, Wonpil, and, obviously, it hurt you too. But you’re stressed and tired and working your ass off for your career, but you can’t expect me to not worry about or visit you while you’re practicing when you don’t answer your phone after getting off a month long tour. But, you were right before, we need some time apart.”

“(Y/N), plea-“

“I’m not leaving but I will give you your space. I’ll let you work, I’ll let you practice, I’ll let you do whatever needs to be done. We’ll have to talk about this eventually but, until then, I just want you to lay down and sleep and stop worrying. Please.”

I smiled as his face faded into relief. Wonpil leaned forward and pressed his lips to my forehead, a groan as his tear stained cheek touched my skin, his arms leaving my body before grabbing my bags, carrying them halfway to our room before looking back to me.

“I’ll be there, I promise.” I reassured him, watching his lips curl upwards before heading further back and finally away inside our room.

I sighed and grabbed my phone, quickly texting my friend I no longer needed a ride, not that she would be of any help at 3am anyways. I clicked on Sungjin’s name in my contacts, ready to press call when, suddenly, his name appeared on my screen. I quickly answered.

“(Y/N), have you seen Wonpil?”

“Yeah, he’s about to go to bed. Listen, Sungjin, this may seem like I’m intruding on your lives, but, please go home and rest. All of you. Even take the day off tomorrow to do what you want. Just don’t overwork yourselves.”

There was a brief silence before a simple ‘okay’ was heard, making me sigh a bit.

“Are you and Wonpil okay?” I looked back to the bedroom, the lights off now signaling Wonpil took my advice.

Our argument was heated, and left a few bruises for us both, but I had reasons to forgive him. Yet, I couldn’t use those reasons forever if it did happen again. Besides his apologies and how sincere they were, I still had my doubts. Maybe it wasn’t just stress, maybe he wasn’t just tired. What if I was right before and all the tension from our relationship piled up within him and he finally exploded, and it was all my fault? Would we be fine then? Hell, knowing that I caused my boyfriend’s agitation, would I be alright? No one could tell at this point, and I couldn’t pretend that I did.

“I don’t know, Sungjin. I really don’t know.”