#not making fun of mom here i bet a good 70% of self-identified christians would make the same error

[3liza]

i was joking about something to my mom when she was here recently and i quoted Jesus' "i bring you not peace, but a sword" and she sort of scoffed politely and said something to the effect of "jesus did not fucking say that" and i was like mom (who was raised catholic and made to go to a lot more church stuff as a kid) it's literally in Matthew. not even one of the gnostic gospels for real jesus freaks, but just right there in the headliners lmao. they cut "lift a rock and you will find me/split a piece of wood and i am there" but not the sword, despite "lift a rock" really sounding a lot more like Jesus, because the second one (gnostic gospel of thomas) is blatantly an anti-church message. the only reason i even know about the sword quote and remember it is because it's part of the list of Weird Things Jesus Said/Did in Part II of the Cartoon History of the Universe (i mean it's not that weird, he just meant that struggles between believers and nonbelievers would inevitably cause strife following his recognition as the messiah, but it SOUNDS very badass)