#not like wtf point and laugh kind of noticeable it’ll be a TEENSY bit awkward for pics but that’s it.

[loverofallthingssmart]

exactly t minus 12 hours till barbie and i JUST finished my outfit

[vagrantblvrd]

i love the zombie radio au. that but fahc au?

Oooh, I love it? (Also I hope you don’t mind if I pick a couple of my favorite ships to use in this???)

But like.

Michael and Jeremy with a morning/afternoon drive show, right? These two assholes who do all the required voices you find on said shows.

(You know the ones.)

They also do the Old Men thing, because of course they do.

And since this is Los Santos a topic they discuss often is (naturally) the Fakes.

All the shit they get up to? Of course they make for prime radio show fodder.

Heists and jobs and just general fucking around - - the fucking blimp thing alone, okay?

Michael seems to have this grudge against the Vagabond, something stemming back years when Michael was new to LS and got caught up in a robbery at a convenience store. Got carjacked even, which was extra insulting at the time considering he was driving this shitty little car held together with duct tape and wishes or something.

Anyway, Michael goes extra hard on the Vagabond, all these theories about the dumb skull mask. The guy’s inability to drive in a straight line for any length of time - there’s fucking video footage, asshole, don’t try to deny it.

At first Jeremy’s like, “Uh...maybe not a great idea picking on the guy so much?” but that stops pretty soon after the fucking Golden Boy crashes into Jeremy’s life.

Like, literally.

Fucking crashes that ugly purple Blista of his into Jeremy’s car out of the blue one day. (Not brand new, Jeremy’s car, but it was less than five years old and the single most expensive thing he’d ever bought and the fucker totaled it!)

So then you have Michael going after the Vagabond and Jeremy going after the Golden Boy and their ratings soar, because, look.

Morning/afternoon drive radio show and of course people call in all the damn time, and you know - you know - the Vagabond and Golden Boy are going to take offense these radio hosts are talking shit about them.

Ryan starts things out with ~scary threats and growling and such?

And the producer or whoever answers the calls (I really want it to be Trevor, just because) and Michael notices the wtf is this guy doing? and is this some sicko perv? faces Trevor’s making and tells him to put the call on the air.

Ryan continues with the Vagabond nonsense until Michael cuts in and starts reading him the riot act, because at first he thinks it’s just another weirdo?

Starts in on some rant or other while Trevor and Jeremy are like :O because it might actually be the Vagabond?

After a few minutes Michael stops for air, or asks a pointed question and there’s silence for a long moment and then, “...Uh...” because no one, not even Gavin’s ever talked to Ryan like that before and he has no idea what to say?

And then Michael goes right back to the ranting/yelling and Ryan fails to defend himself because he’s so confused? (People don’t react like that with the Vagabond, or, fine. People who aren’t lunatics don’t react like that.)

Radio show contingent assumes it was just some idiot pretending to be the Vagabond, no big deal, right?

Their listeners loved it though, so when Ryan calls back a few days later in the middle of one of Michael’s tirades about what an asshole the Vagabond is they put him on the air.

After that it’s not like Ryan calls on a regular basis or anything? (Because heists and the like, and sometimes he gets hurt or whatever and isn’t up to it?)

But calls in a lot.

This thing that started out with him trying to intimidate some asshole radio host into stop making fun of him turns into this fun little back and forth and then the most ridiculous flirting.

ANYWAY.

Michael and Jeremy’s show is the best rated on at their station or whatever and the whole city loves the segments where Ryan calls in. Think it’s just another bit like the Old Men and all that?

Meanwhile Michael is 99% sure it’s the actual Vagabond he’s talking to? Just some of the stuff Ryan say, but he tries not to think about that too hard.

And then something happens, Ryan goes on a job out of town or something, and the show’s ratings dip and it’s just

No one’s moping? But they (Michael) kind of are.

So Jeremy tries to pick up the slack, goes real hard on the Golden Boy and Gavin who’s been laughing at Ryan’s infatuation with that one radio host all this time is like hey! and calls in.

Trevor puts him on the air because he thinks it’ll be interesting?

And that’s how Gavin and Jeremy start up their bit of ridiculous flirting and other like shenanigans.

ANYWAY.

This goes on for a while, and until the Fakes pull this heist, right?

One of the most ambitious ones they’ve planned and it falls apart a little at the end. They get the money and all, but their escape plans go to shit and Ryan and Gavin find themselves up near the radio station Michael and Jeremy work at. (Because reasons.)

Cops on their asses and nowhere to run and they need somewhere to hide out for a bit, right?

Know it’s not the best idea, but really, who in their right mind would try to shake the cops by hiding in a radio station? (or something like that.)

They go in and it’s the weekend or something, receptionist off and only a few people in the building.

Jeremy covering for someone who had a family thing or whatever, and it’s not exactly hard work taking caller requests for songs and stuff.

Only thing is, Michael got bored at home and decided to come in to keep Jeremy company, so they’re both there when Ryan and Gavin show up, you know?

Michael going to grab something from the lobby vending machine or whatever and oh, hey, the Vagabond and Golden Boy and what the fuck is this?

Ryan and Gavin being like, oh, shit, because they can’t have Michael running off to call the cops on him , right?

Pull their guns on him and are trying to figure out what to do next when Jeremy comes strolling in to see what’s taking Michael so long.

This awkward moment of, okay, wow. How many people do we have to hold at gunpoint like this before it’s just ridiculous?

And that’s when the last song Jeremy out on ends and - of course the show’s playing in the lobby - and dead air on the radio.

“Someone’s going to wonder what’s going on if that continues,” Jeremy points out, because he’s not wrong?

Ryan and Gavin are like, what do now? before Michael is like “fuck’s sake, you idiots,” and goes off to put another song on while they watch him go all :O because no one’s ever done anything like that to them before?

Jeremy’s like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  because that’s just Michael for you and all?

Ryan and Gavin are also like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  because what even with these two, and shove Jeremy ahead of him to go find Michael, kind of expect him to be on the phone to the cops, but no, no.

He’s talking to Trevor or whoever, telling him Jeremy fell in the toilet or something to explain the dead air and that he’ll kick Jeremy’s ass for being an idiot. Hangs up and glares at Ryan and Gavin AND Jeremy.

Guy said he did some martial arts training and shit, should have kicked their asses or something, but whatever.

A little worried he and Jeremy are going to be murderized by these two assholes, and maybe goes off on a mini-rant about how it’s his day off and all that.

So Ryan cuts in, because now is maybe not the time? And Michael and Jeremy are just, oh, fuck, because that’s the asshole Michael’s been bickering/bantering/flirting with for months?

Like.

Yeah, okay, that actually was the Vagabond he’s been yelling at all this time? And then Gavin chimes in and Michael and Jeremy are like oh, fuck all over again because Jeremy’s been flirting with the fucking Golden Boy.

A few minutes for them to process the fact they’ve been telling those assholes to go fuck themselves and other fun thing for a while now, and also, the thing about being held at gunpoint by them?

Ryan and Gavin being like, “Uh,” about murderizing Michael and Jeremy for being assholes to them, which hadn’t occurred to either of them?

Like, why would they do that, you know?

Some more awkwardness and just about the time they figure out Ryan and Gavin didn’t duck into the radio station with murderizing random people in mind, the cops make an appearance.

Some concerned citizen saw Ryan and Gavin run in an then the dead air and just.

Concern!!1!

So cops showing up and Ryan and Gavin being like shit and preparing to duke it out with the cops with an Epic Standoff---->shootout and all that?

And Michael and Jeremy just look at one another because fucking seriously?

“Well, you guys could do that, or...” they tell them, because hey, look.

The cops don’t know how many people are in the radio station to start with, and people leave their jackets/bits of clothing behind all the time. Also the Lost & Found?

Basically what they’re saying is that it would be super easy to trick the cops into thinking the scary criminals escaped through the back door or some such and these poor radio station employees were held hostage for a bit - super traumatizing, btw, because scary criminals - but thank God the cops were there to save them!!!1!

Ryan and Gavin are like ??? because no way that will work?

But of course it does.

Because reasons.

They decide a little property damage is called for - teensy explosion and teensy fire to mark the Daring Escape - and the cops come in and find the four of them all shaken not stirred but otherwise okay.

Do the whole giving statements and such and then it’s like.

Awkward because Michael and Jeremy are kind of criminals now? (Just a teensy bit.)

Anyway, Ryan and Gavin go off on their merry way and so do Michael and Jeremy and it’s.

Weird for a while.

And then The Fakes pull some stupid shit and Michael and Jeremy are right back to bitching about those idiots, and they get Ryan and Gavin calling in again and it’s pretty much back to normal.

This goes on for a while, and then one night Michael’s at the station late (because reasons) and when he heads out to go home there’s some guy in the parking lot.

Seems nervous and awkward and Michael’s thinking he’s about to get mugged/murderized, and then the guy speaks and he’s like.

Holy shit, it’s the fucking Vagabond?

Only like.

Nerd edition, because Ryan’s not wearing his contacts and also dressed in street clothes and just.

Ryan, you know?

All awkward and nervous about this whole thing, but he was wondering if Michael might want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something?

Like.

Seriously.

Awkward nerd and all that and Michael’s thinking what a terrible idea all that is? But also he kind of likes (a lot) talking to Ryan, and some squishy feelings he picked up over however long they’ve been talking/yelling/bickering/bantering with one another, so.

“Sure, why the fuck not.”

Ryan is like !!! because he was half expecting Michael to tell him to fuck off (which he absolutely does at some point, because Michael, but it’s like. In the middle of some dumb argument so it doesn’t count) and is also like !!! because when?

And Michael who’s been at work all day is like, “Why not now? There’s a place down the road that’s open all night,” so they go and do the awkward first date-thing...thing.

Which turns into more awkward date-thing things until they stop being so awkward and such and Michael’s like well, shit because he’s kind of head over heels for this asshole and that’s super terrible.

Really.

Meanwhile, Jeremy and Gavin have been doing their own awkward dating thing and likewise catching serious feels for one another.

Michael and Jeremy perfectly aware of what the other one is doing - irrevocably fucking up their lives forever - but not addressing it other than the usual?

Still bitch about the Fakes on their show, still get into dumb arguments and the whatnot on their show and it’s pretty much business as usual?

But then someone gets suspicious or something and some corrupt cops/other baddies go after Michael and Jeremy, so of course Ryan and Gavin are like lol, fuck no, and rescue them and the whatnot?

Only thing is everyone in Los Santos finds out about Michael and Jeremy and them literally in bed with these Dangerous Criminals and such. (Okay, not literally, literally, but you get the picture.)’

So they have to go on the run/leave their lives behind or go to jail/be murderized, and seeing as how Ryan and Gavin are to blame they end up at the penthouse or some safehouse somewhere.

Geoff’s like jfc, you morons, at all of them, but specifically Ryan and Gavin. And okay, also Michael and Jeremy.

Tells them to do whatever, but maybe not destroy the city and all that because it’s where they live, shitty as it can be at times, and so.

Uh.

Michael and Jeremy kind of join the crew?

Go through the whole montage scene of learning how to shoot  and such. (Private, one-on-one lessons that are super hands-on and also the reason Geoff kicks them the fuck out of the crew’s private shooting range because fucking really, you assholes, no. Other people in the crew use that too!!1!)

Anyway.

They join the crew and take part in stupid shit the crew does - no one really wants them to do heists or whatever just yet/if ever because they don’t want them in ~real danger/have to kill someone and such?

But you know there’s a situation in which shit goes wrong and Michael and Jeremy have to play the part of the cavalry and some assholes get shot as a result.

(First time for them, yeah, but said assholes were threatening their loved ones and just. Yeah, no.)

After that it’s just more of the same, and eventually they do heists and other stuff, and yeah, maybe they do kill someone, but it’s like. Out of necessirty - their own lives in danger or that of their friends/loved ones some poor innocent passing by, who the fuck knows.

And also?

They find a way to broadcast a radio show - for shits and giggles - where the cops/authorities can’t track them down and it’s geared towards fucking with said cops/authorities and the times it happens exposing corrupt officials and such.

Not so much so the law in Los Santos will do something about it (lol, yeah right) but so the citizens in Los Santos know, might do something about it?

Mostly though, it’s to fuck with the cops/authorities and give the crew shit and just.

Yes.