#not like a single mother who doesn't get her child support payments could afford a full house

[nexus-nebulae]

man. growing up in a cramped shitty house and already struggling enough myself as a kid. it just makes me Sad to know that my nieces have to live in an even smaller, even shittier apartment for their formative years. no kid should have to share a room that small.

[youaremysunshiness]

entry #17

TW: threats of violence and violence

this morning, i wasn't feeling very well, so i slept in and i woke up to my dad yelling and stomping throughout the house. then, i heard glass shatter and my mom yell back at him. the door slammed. after he left, i went into the hallway to ask my little sister, L, what was going on. she told me that dad was with my other sister, G, and they got into a huge fight over her car payment and how they both couldn't afford to get it fixed constantly. both G and dad have big tempers and the argument divulged into dad threatening to strangle G. G got out of the car and dad drove home.

when dad got home, he was so pissed that he started yelling, and even threatened to divorce my mother. my mom yelled back at him, defending herself, and then left to get G because she was stranded. then he called us (his children) lazy slobs or something, threw change at a clock on the wall and shattered it and left. we didn't have the other car, so he just walked to my grandfather's house.

L and I cleaned up the glass, and we talked about how scary our dad is. she told me that when we were kids, and i was at school, dad got so angry that L and G locked him out of the house and hid in the bathroom. he was banging on the windows and doors to be let in the house. he was so loud that our neighbors called the cops on him. luckily, one of the police officers calmed my dad down and it didn't get worse. i understand exactly how they feel though, because my sisters and i would run to the bathroom and lock ourselves in there whenever our dad would get angry and would threaten to hit us. i think that's why i get so scared of men when they get angry, or why i struggle with expressing anger so much. i also had a boyfriend when i was a teenager and he would threaten to hit me all the time and i thought it wasn't considered abuse because my dad would threaten us all the time and throw objects at the wall and that was just... normal to me because my mom would always say that he would never hit us. he also always apologizes afterwards... but his behavior never changes.

i spent so many years feeling guilty too because i always had my defenses up around my dad. i wanted to be close to him, but i am too afraid of him. he's also very critical of us. we could be minding our business and he would find something to criticize about us. he's criticized my sister's bodies and what they eat. he's critical of me and my mental health, and the fact that i take antidepressants (even though they saved my life and rescued me from depression) and he just doesn't try to be there for us. my mom always had to do everything. she made our birthdays special. she made our Christmases. my dad was just there. he didn't help her decorate. he didn't help buy the gifts. he doesn't even remember our birthdays half the time.

growing up, i didn't really understand what was the point of having a dad because my mom did everything. i thought that was how everyone's families worked, but as i got older and observed some other dads and how close they are with their kids and how hands -on they were, i got jealous. it was heartbreaking to see that. why didn't i have that? L even said that he feels like a stranger.

all i can do is promise myself that i will be with someone who will be just as much of a loving and present father to our kids as i would be a loving and present mother. there is a reason why so many people get married to have children together, it's because although many single parents have succeeded in raising children on their own, it's hard to do it without a partner. you make the child together. you raise the child together. you support the child together. when you marry someone, you commit to them for life, not because society expects you to, but because you want to. you marry someone because you love them so much, committing to them wouldn't be a question. you are a team, especially when you have children together. you both pull your weight to raise your child because you both love your child and want the best for them, but you also pull your weight because you want to support your partner in raising said child. it's hard to raise a child on your own. don't get me wrong, single parents are awesome and i admire them so much, but even they need help from others. it takes a village to raise a kid, and when one parent is pulling more weight than the other, it affects the child, and it affects the parent's relationship.

[msgrumpygills]

I gotta say, the more relatable the Pads try to seem, the more they piss people off.

I am a mother two. My husband constantly works to keep us afloat and I take side jobs when I can as long as it works with my kid's school schedules because we can't afford child care. I don't have multiple nannies to watch my kids or help with housework and you know what? I don't complain about how hard it is. It's the life I chose to have. I don't expect praise for doing what I am supposed to do. My husband works 5 days a week and when he isn't working, he's spending time with us. Sometimes he'll even take the kids off my hands for a few hours so I can get a break because that's what a good father and husband does. When he posts about them on social media, it's always talking about how grateful he is to spend the time with them that he does get to spend. And we all get on each other's nerves. The kids drive both of us crazy and we drive each other crazy, but we don't try and pretend like we're perfect. We're a typical family.

A family who can afford to have staff on hand at all times, a mother who never has to worry about bills and education, who never has to feel guilty for taking a few minutes to herself because she knows someone else is there to take care of whatever she's putting off, a mother who has time to do anything other than provide for her spouse and her children...a father who spends all his free time away from home, who complains about how hard it is to be around his kids, a man who praises his wife for all that she does without acknowledging that she has help, all while pretending that they are perfect...that's not a family, that's Hollywood.

Pictire perfect doesn't exist and anyone with a brain knows that. If they want to peddle their crap they need to stop trying so hard and be real for once because, lets be honest, you cant live off the money of adoring fans forever. People lose interest in thing over time and Walker isn't exactly thriving. Eventually the spn crowd is going to fizzle out (of course there will still be those few who stay forver) and a handful of people emptying their pockets to line theirs isn't enough to keep their lifestyle. People don't want to see perfect and they sure as hell don't want to listen to people with more money than anyone needs and help around every corner complain about how hard life is for them. And sure? Celebrities have struggles, but those struggles are not on the same level as the people they're trying to relate to. People definitely don't want to keep shelling out their hard earned money give to a celebrity so that celebrity can donate a portion of it to a charity when thay celebrity has more than enough to reach the goal that they set on their own.

I hope they wake up to reality soon. Otherwise they're gonna end up like the rest of us and as much as I would pay to see that wake up call, i don't wish that kind of abrupt life change on those children (being raised by parents who don't know how to function without gobs of money and never had to raise them alone could be seriously damaging)

I want to say that I commend you and admire you so much! I can’t imagine the strength and willpower it takes to do what you do, and if no one has told you today, you are so appreciated! <3 

Your family is the exact type that Jared and Gen are trying to portray. They wanna paint themselves as the hardworking parents that work so hard to support and take care of their three kids and how Gen is a hero for doing it all on her own while Jared is winning that bread. They’re definitely actors playing a role here and their “family” is as authentic as Jared’s sobriety. 

I think by trying to be relatable, they just make asses of themselves. Everyone knows they have a staff of help, but Gen acts like she has to fight to get time to herself. Jared acts like seeing his kids is the worst thing on the planet and he makes sure everyone knows it. Like I said, some parents joke around about the kids driving them insane, but it’s not every single post. On top of that, those parents who make those jokes once in a while are present all the time, they’re with the kids, they appreciate their kids, they don’t pop in for the weekly dad appearance and then complain about it the whole time. Jared might think he’s being cute and relatable, but he looks like an asshole. 

I don’t know if anyone else here ever watched Wife Swap, but I would LOVE to see the Pads swap lives with an actual family who has actual problems. They would implode. I think you’re right about the kids, they’re the ones who are going to suffer ultimately, more than they probably already are.  Their father is barely there (I wanna say Jared brought that up about his kids not really knowing him? Maybe it was someone else so don’t quote me on that.) and when he is there, he acts like he can’t get away fast enough. He just pops in for the staged “family goals” pictures and then shovels the kids back onto the nannies so he can go act like a 20-something college kid.  Their mother only pays attention to them when she needs them to pose for her charade of happy family on instagram. When she doesn’t need them, she’s shilling them onto the nannies so she can go have “me time” which she certainly doesn’t get enough of, being unemployed and letting ghost writers take care of her passion projects. When she should be a caring mother, she monetizes it. Nothing is genuine and you can tell that the kids are getting tired of being the performing monkeys for her clickbait social media posts. 

I’d hope that Jared has some money stored away and has invested it well so they’ll be prepared for when Supernatural fizzles out and when Walker (hopefully sooner than later) dies out. Gen won’t be able to jet around the country and buy clothes that are as much as car payments, and Jared won’t have the extra money to go blow on weekend getaways and traveling to anywhere that isn’t his compound. They might even have to downsize and what are they gonna do without their 3 gyms, tennis court, pool and guest house? 

I hope they get a wake-up call or snap out of it, but I don’t see that ever happening with these people.